One Hour a Week: How Storytelling Helped a Mother and Son Rebuild Their Bond | Kate Markland

One hour a week with your child is a heartbreaking reality — especially when it is court-ordered. For Kate Markland, that painful limitation became the beginning of something unexpectedly beautiful: a mother and son rebuilding their bond through stories.

In this episode of Women Like Me Stories & Business, Julie Fairhurst sits down with Kate Markland to talk about parenting connection, children’s creativity, storytelling, writing confidence, and the power of giving children permission to become the hero of their own story.

Kate shares how she began reading aloud to her son over FaceTime, and how that simple act of connection grew into published children’s books and a classroom-tested method she calls StoryQuest.

We talk about the heart and structure behind her approach, including:

• The storyteller and the scribe
•  Why open-ended questions matter
•  How messy bullet points can unlock creativity
•  Why perfect paragraphs are not the starting point
•  How illustrations can help reluctant writers
•  How AI art tools can support imagination
•  Why spelling and grammar should not be the gatekeepers of creativity

This conversation goes far beyond children’s writing. Kate explains why the blank page is not only a writing problem — it can also be a self-leadership problem.

We discuss what happens when children are constantly corrected, how rules and bias can shrink young voices, and why girls especially may grow into women who silence parts of themselves long before they ever realize it.

Kate also shares practical tools for hard seasons, including choosing one thing to win the day and naming three wins at night to build confidence, momentum, and resilience.

This episode is for parents, teachers, writers, creatives, and anyone who cares about children’s voices, imagination, emotional connection, and reclaiming the parts of ourselves that were corrected, quieted, or left behind.

Because sometimes a story is not just a story. Sometimes it is a bridge back to love.

Subscribe for more conversations about women’s stories, writing, healing, parenting, creativity, business, and the courage to be heard.

StoryQuest
https://www.storyquestglobal.com/

LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/kate-markland

If this conversation stirred something in you… good. That’s where change begins.

Make sure you’re subscribed, share this with someone who needs it, and if you’re ready to tell your story, step into your voice, or build a life that actually feels like yours… You’re in the right place.

I’m Julie Fairhurst, and this is where stories turn into power.

Go to my website if you would like to be a guest on the Women Like Me Stories & Business in the toolbar click Let's Podcast

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Transcript

Welcome And Guest Introduction

SPEAKER_01 0:16

Well, hi everyone, and welcome to another episode of Women Like Me Stories and Business. I am so, so excited to get into this conversation today. Excuse me, because it relates back to Women Like Me so much and voices. So let me tell you a little bit about our guest today, and then we're going to dive into what's going to be a very interesting conversation. So today I'm joined by Kate Marklin. Now, she is an author, a founder, and an advocate for children's voices from the UK. Kate is the founder of StoryQuest, a powerful storytelling methodology created from one of the hardest chapters of her life. After a court order gave her one week on FaceTime with her son, Kate chose not to collapse inside that tiny window of time. Instead, she asked her son one simple question. So today we're talking about storytelling, self-leadership, children's voices, and an invitation to everyone to reclaim their voice that we were taught to keep quiet. Kate, I am I am just so honored that you are willing to be here and talk about your story. So thank you so much for doing this.

SPEAKER_00 1:36

Thank you very much for inviting me and inviting me to speak.

SPEAKER_01 1:40

Yeah, thank you. Well, let's begin with the hard stuff. One hour a week, my goodness. Can you take us back to that season of life and what was happening for you as a mother?

SPEAKER_00 1:52

We're still in it. It's been one hour a week

Living With One Hour A Week

SPEAKER_00 1:55

for over two and a half years. It'll be three years.

SPEAKER_02 2:00

Wow.

SPEAKER_01 2:03

Wow. That's that's incredible. That's that's that's I'm sure every mother right now, and even if they're not a mother, your heart just just pulls. I have three children myself, and you know, sometimes I'd like just one hour, but not for years and years at a time, and certainly not court court ordered. That is, yeah, not not so great. So you were given such a small window of time with your son that I just love that you did this because you didn't come out as a victim, you didn't create this great big drama around everything that's happening. You asked him, What do you want to say? Can you tell us about that?

SPEAKER_00 2:48

Yeah, so we end up in this situation, and I I it's almost the grief was I can't find what I can't describe what the pain and the grief was and how dark it was. And I just knew on our very first call when we were in this situation that I was shell-shocked, and I knew he would be. He'd just turned 10 at the time. And that we could speak for an hour, but we were so battered that it seemed very safe and reassuring to reconnect to our shared love of stories. He'd always really loved oral storytelling. So even once he could read, because I often get asked, can he read? Can he write? Yeah, he can read, he can write. But he'd still loved audiobooks in the car or a bedtime still being read to him. We'd read something that he might not choose to read himself, and then

Reading Together To Survive Grief

SPEAKER_00 3:45

he'd read his own book. So I just went into his room and picked up a very illustrated Michael Mapurgo book called The Puffin Keeper, and we just started reading it across FaceTime. And yeah, I was sat at the kitchen table and he was on the other side of my iPad. And we looked at the pictures and read a bit. And that went on for I'd say it's probably about four weeks, it's not very long book. And then we got some whiteboards and did like knots and crosses and pen and paper games, and then we picked, I picked up an illustrated copy of Treasure Island. And the little boy in Treasure Island, the protagonist was called Jim, and grandad, my father's called Jim. So by the time we'd finished reading Treasure Island, we're a bit like, I'm sick of reading about Jim's heroics. So I just said to Gabriel on a complete whim, should we make up a story where you're the hero? And he instantly, it was instant, yes. And he starts telling me, I want to defeat a sea monster, and he starts telling me, he's got there's quite a lot of clarity he had about the story he wanted to tell. Now, throughout all this time, I've I write to him, I write to him every week, every week. And so I just start scribbling it down, what he's saying. I used to be a physio, physios don't write paragraphs, you just take notes of what somebody's saying to you. So I'm just capturing it on a piece of paper on the kitchen table, just like I would as a physio, just capturing the bullet points, the keywords. And then I think, well, I'm gonna type this up for you and expand it, and then I'll put it in the post to you, and that'd be a nice thing that we can just build up over the weeks, a bit like Dickens. We can have installments of our own stories. So I'll do that with the first one, type it up, sort of extend it a bit. And my main metaphor is I have no idea what we're gonna do, but just don't give up. You know, I'm just saying don't give up. And I read it back to him on the following Friday night. He adds his edits. At this point, I'd done some drawings and my friend saw my drawings and said, Okay, you can do better than that. And I was like, Well, maybe I can, but I've got improving my artwork down for a retirement hobby, and I'm not there yet. We're at a good go with AI art. So Gabriel edits the story, but also chooses the pictures that we've created on AI art that he would like to illustrate his story, because that had always been one of his gripes in terms of just because I get a better reader doesn't mean I don't want pictures in my books. So I was like, we're making our own story, you can have as many pictures as you want. So this went on for about eight weeks, and after about eight weeks, we had six sorts of stories, and it was a mess on my desktop, absolute mess. And I couldn't really see anything other than my desktop other than all these image files and word documents. So I just merge it all into one document, and I flipped my laptop, so I flipped the screen round, the iPad screen round to show him. And instantly he saw a book. Mum, it's a book. And my head, I'm like, yeah, right, Gabriel, seriously. I know, and who on earth do you think I am? You don't, you know, you don't know my head mistress from primary school. Mrs. Robinson went to town on my writing with a red pen. We are to publish a book. But he kept going on, Mum, it's a book, it's a book, it's a book. So then okay, I'm thinking, right, we get two published, one for you, one for no printed. I'll just go to local printers and get two printed, one for you, one for granny and granddad. Mum, it's a book. And because

Inventing A Hero Story On FaceTime

SPEAKER_00 6:55

we were in such a diabolical situation, it was like I couldn't say no without having explored further. So that then led me to send this word document to somebody that I knew in children's education here in the UK, and also a child psych that I just knew from LinkedIn in the US, because I knew they both were passionate about children's voices and children's creativity. Both of them from either side of the Atlantic came back to me the same thing. Get this out now because there's nothing where it's children's imagination inspiring other children. So we then go through the process of I know somebody that self-publishes books, I contact him and ask him, hey, we've got this Word document. Do you think we can do anything with it?

SPEAKER_01 7:40

That's just so beautiful. And so tell us where it's gone from there. Because if I'm if when I was doing my research, if I'm correct, you have helped 465 children tell stories.

SPEAKER_00 7:56

So yeah, we this we publish our first book, and again, I'm completely hung up about my own spelling and grammar, but you know, Kevin that helps self-publish looks after my nerves, and we get this out, and we get it out in time for one of the biggest literature festivals here in the UK, where Helen Fielding, who wrote Bridget Jones, is presenting, and there are blessings within this, and I get to meet her, and she has the same message that as a 20-year-old, she thought what she'd done well, because of course I'm a Bridget Jones generation, was write for other 20-year-olds. And as a 50-year-old, she'd just released a book that was for other 50-year-olds. She wasn't writing as a 50-year-old for children, you know. So she really believed that writing for your own generation. I thought, well, I'm Gabriel's scribe, but it's his imagination. So she was essentially saying exactly the same as what the other two people I'd asked were. I thought, okay, well, something in this, isn't there? So then I'm invited to speak about it, about the book, not the story behind our story, but about the book. And I start talking about it. And then what I get asked, which I couldn't believe, was what was your process? What do you mean? What's my process? I'm getting asked this by retired social workers, teachers, headers, grandparents, what's your process? And so I just cannot comprehend. Well, what's your process for extracting your son's story? How did you get his imagination out? Um I I I honestly couldn't comprehend the question.

SPEAKER_02 9:21

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 9:22

And but then on about the fifth time of being asked, I was like, because I still wasn't revealing the story behind our story. Everybody assumed we were sat at the kitchen table together, not that we were the other side of a screen.

unknown 9:31

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 9:32

And um I thought, well, if there is a process, is what I've done for 20 odd years as a physiotherapist, in that you ask an open question, it's exactly what you're doing with me now. Ask an open question, then clarify the detail, have a verbal handshake, check that you've understood, edit where appropriate, and so on. Okay, so we get an opportunity to try this out in some schools. And yeah, nearly 500 children later have asked nine to eleven-year-olds, would you like to be a hero of your own story? Every single one of them says yes. And just as Helen Fielding perhaps suggested, was as soon as they've seen Gabriel's book and realized, hang on, another 10-year-old did this. Well, if I'm nine, ten, and eleven and he can do it, I can do it too.

SPEAKER_02 10:18

Wow.

SPEAKER_00 10:19

And they just

From Messy Files To A Real Book

SPEAKER_00 10:20

come to life.

SPEAKER_01 10:22

Wow, I love that. Would you like to be the hero of your own story? That is what a what a great question.

SPEAKER_00 10:32

There are no rules, and they simply, I mean, that's what I say to them. We've got no rules today. And you cannot be wrong. You quite simply cannot be wrong if it's your story. Yes. There's no, you can't fail at this.

SPEAKER_02 10:45

Wow. Wow.

SPEAKER_00 10:46

All the barriers are removed.

SPEAKER_01 10:48

Yeah. Yeah. Wow. Well, when you began this, starting to write down his words, and uh why was it I if I understand correctly, you were you were writing them down as he was speaking them. And so you weren't really making many changes, is that correct?

SPEAKER_00 11:06

So what I was doing was, yeah, he was just he was really clear. The first one, he was really clear. I wanted to feed a sea monster, and he's had this his favourite cuddly toy being a platypus that we've charged with kan do spirit, you know, platypus could solve anything. So Platy was going to become like Robin to his Batman. Platty was the obvious sidekick, and so he was really clear on quite a few things. So I'm just literally scribbling it down like I would as a physio, bullets, bullets, bullets, bullets. And I don't correct any of that. I tag Peterp, and then I realize we've got gaps. So again, just like I would do as a physio, I've got gaps. So you've told me you've told me this amount of your story, but actually I don't know what your C master's called. So we then, when it comes to the following Friday, and I'm reading it back to him, I've also got points. I'm not correcting what he said at all. I've ex I have added expansion to it, I've added more detail to it where felt appropriate. And he's then adding his edits back. So one part was, you know, we walk he walked past an owl. And then when I'm reading it back to him, he's like, hang on, mummy, don't just walk past an owl, an owl's going to give me a clue or a riddle or something to say, okay, well, what might that riddle or clue be? So yeah, then he added his edits, but also there were points when I typed it up in the week where, again, like I would as a physio and you're telling me about your back pain. Hang on a minute, I'm not actually sure what happens when, or I don't know what your sea monster's called. I don't know what color it is or what it looks like. Because then when I'm trying to create the images in AI art, I'm realizing, hang on a minute, you've got in your mind exactly what this sea monster looks like.

SPEAKER_02 12:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 12:35

I don't know what it's blue, it's got two heads. Oh, of course.

SPEAKER_01 12:42

Oh, I just love that. I just I what a great experience for the both of you. And then it becomes number one on Amazon.

SPEAKER_00 12:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 12:52

Wow. So how did that process? Well, I say the word process, I should be careful with you after that, after you're, you know, the process. But but how did that uh process happen, especially knowing that it came from such a tender and beautiful place? Like he he so he understood that you were gonna that you this was something you were gonna put out into the world and it was honestly, I feel like I've had the the best business manager I can because his belief in me has been incredible.

SPEAKER_00 13:23

You know, just mum, it's a book, and it's me that's got the hang-ups. He's not got the hang-ups about this is a book, it's me. He's just like, get on with it, man, make it to a book. Yeah, we'll figure it out. And like I say, Kevin, who helped self-publish it, he just how that bit happened, he just took it off my hands and held my nerves. I was so nervous. And as soon as then we got that one out, Gabriel's like, Mom, just use all your skills. Like, obviously.

SPEAKER_02 13:57

Wow.

SPEAKER_00 13:58

I'd run my own physiotherapy clinics, I'd been an athlete in the past, so use all your skills, meant I just kind of had to think about well, put everything I know how to do. I don't know anything about this world of literature and how to promote a book. But I thought, well, you know, but you know how to run a physioclinic and you know how to row a boat, and so you've just put everything back in the boat metaphorically, point and go.

SPEAKER_01 14:23

That's exactly what you do. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 14:26

And I think that has been really, really valuable. That rowing is a reference point because it has been absolutely brutally painful. But when I used to row, you know there's always gonna be a finish line. And you might not, you know, it might seem like it's forever away, especially in the endurance events, but eventually you will cross it and you always have your back to it, and you don't stop however much it hurts. You keep going. Now, sometimes obviously pushing

How StoryQuest Spreads In Schools

SPEAKER_00 14:55

faster and harder, sometimes you've got to breathe a bit.

SPEAKER_02 14:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 14:59

And but never did I think this endurance event would go on this long. Never, ever, ever. But that that, yeah, Gabriel's saying to me, Mum, it's a book and then use all your skills, sort of gave me a direction. And then when we came to the second book, he's much, much more confident. So literally, we'd got book one out in the October. By the November, Mummy, he's got this idea for the second book, and he's now seeing instead of a series of short stories, he's seeing one complete book about can we resurrect a dodo skeleton? I have no idea. I think it's really clear. Well, we're gonna go visit all these endangered animals around the world. And so all I keep thinking is, well, I need a plot because I'm you know it's an author, so we'll use the plot of around the world in 80 days because that gets us around the world. Yes, and I'm like, hang on a second, hang on. So but his belief in again, his belief in what was possible and his belief in that I would be able to write, yes, made me act, made me do it. Because I would never ever have dreamt of writing a book otherwise.

SPEAKER_01 16:03

Never. Well, and and I and as you're talking, I'm thinking to myself, what a great children's book to be written by a ch another child.

SPEAKER_02 16:12

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 16:14

You know, as as as as adults, we we you know, we can imagine and that kind of thing, but we don't have their imagination.

SPEAKER_00 16:20

No, no, and you're quite right because we so for the second book, when he's quite clear once the whole book, I'm like, hang on a minute, we need to plan this out. I hang on, I can't do this. It's not like little short stories that we can just do one Friday night, read it, but the next Friday night, but this needs a plan. So I'm making this story arc with him and making sure I understand what he's got in his head. And we've got to start off by going to visit the Siotas in Alaska. So I post him just of I got it off the internet, a sheet of all different modes of transport, thinking, how are we actually getting to Alaska? Well mum, we don't need that sheet, we're going by portal. Oh, of course. Okay, but you don't understand. I've never read fantasy fiction. I don't know how a portal works, I don't know what a portal looks like.

SPEAKER_01 17:05

Yeah, yeah. Oh, that's beautiful. I love it.

SPEAKER_00 17:08

And so I think there's a point where when you're this constrained, everything has to be can do. And I can't say no to simple requests. No, if people need to write a book, we can write a book.

SPEAKER_01 17:25

Yes, yeah. Well, you say the blank page is never a writing problem, it's a self-leadership problem. So, what do you mean by that?

SPEAKER_00 17:38

So, what I've what I see, and again, it comes back to what I recall from school, but what I also saw with the 465 children that we asked if they wanted to be the hero of their own story, is when you completely remove the blank page for them and you show them how to do exactly the same in pairs. So one of you is the storyteller and the other one's the scribe. And as a scribe, you don't need to write paragraphs, you're just going to make sure you capture your storyteller friend's ideas, and you can again ask for the extra details like how big's the dragon or what colour's the cat's eyes. You know, you ask for the details that the storyteller has in their head but hasn't actually realized, they haven't articulated. So as a scribe, you're capturing it and pulling out the the tell me more details. So the storyteller, and they get it because they've learned about this when they've studied the Egyptians, the storyteller scribe, or whatever, they get it. So the storyteller only actually has one executive function at a time. And their executive function is only to tell their own hero story, which of course they are the leader of. And their friend is capturing it. Yes, there's no blank page, because as soon as you give a child a blank page in his classroom, I mean and I hadn't realized this, but 20 odd years of physically, I think 5,000 patients or something like that came through my clinic doors. I can think of one person that came in with their story written down. Everybody comes in to tell their story orally and orates their story.

SPEAKER_02 19:05

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 19:06

And so I hadn't realized how normal oral storytelling was to my world and how unusual it sort of is in the classroom, which seems completely back to front.

SPEAKER_02 19:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 19:21

And the children just can't be wrong because as soon as you give them a blank sheet of paper, they've got more opportunity to be wrong than right. You know, they forgot to put the date on the page, they're using a blue pen instead of a black pen or a whatever, their handwriting's wrong, it should be capitals, they didn't underline, there was no full stop, they got the content wrong, the context wrong, they've got every opportunity to be wrong. So that blank page brings so much fear of not being good enough. Not whereas when that's completely removed and they can tell their own mad, wild, unhinged heroics.

unknown 19:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 20:00

So can you tell me how how did you get into the school? What what what happened to to get you into that, into those classrooms?

SPEAKER_00 20:09

So the lady here in the UK that I shared the Word document with was my mum's very old schoolfriend. And she had been a former head teacher and school inspector in the north of England, and her big passion had been in creative writing for children. So she still had contacts in the schools in her city, which that got the ball rolling, was yeah, she called that. And that first workshop, we completely we asked, and we hadn't well what was really interesting again was we went into the classrooms with no educational bias. So the very first school we went to was 60 children in a city, very deprived, very multicultural, English is a second language for lots of children, all sorts of issues. We didn't ask what any of them, you know, the complications were that they were dealing with. And it was only in the break time when the teachers looking at us saying, you know, that little boy that stood up and told his story about an otter, he's got severe autism. He never speaks in class. But we didn't know that because we were going in with zero educational bias.

SPEAKER_02 21:12

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 21:13

And you're also kind of expecting that the children might mock each other's stories, but they weren't. They were absolutely celebrating and helping each other up level their stories. It was the exact opposite. And then you realize just how much bias goes on in the classroom, too, when we give the children freedom in terms of if you want to write your story up as a cartoon, it's your story, however you want it. Then you realize children that might find it difficult. So when it does then come to writing it up, they've got it all out, and then they're usually chomping at the bit to then write

The Blank Page And Self Leadership

SPEAKER_00 21:40

it up. They want to write it up because they're so proud of it. You realize that actually some children are beautiful at draw, absolutely stunning drawings, but will find it really difficult to write half a page of text.

SPEAKER_02 21:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 21:55

The classroom sets them up for failure when they've got to perform with whatever is required. So they're just sort of beaten before they've had a chance to shine.

SPEAKER_01 22:05

Wow. It's I you know it's a it's a tough situation that's happened to you and your son, of course. But look. Look at the beauty that's come out of it. And uh oh no, go I'm sorry, go ahead.

SPEAKER_00 22:20

No, it's I think one of the things that really was joyful to see was Gabriel made a little video of a FaceTime, we just recorded it a minute long for him saying hello to the children in the classroom, so I'd show it to the children in the classrooms. So they would got to make videos back to him, not having any idea of our situation. So they were creating this connection with each other through their own stories.

SPEAKER_01 22:45

Oh my goodness.

SPEAKER_00 22:47

We started to realize we were just becoming the facilitators.

SPEAKER_01 22:50

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 22:50

Because the children could create and the morality in the children's stories, we start to realize they've they've then they can solve huge problems. They've solved, you know, all the pets are stolen by aliens. And the teachers are looking at me thinking, how are we going to get the pets back? I don't know. They know. Of course, they've got it all worked out. Yeah, all worked it out.

SPEAKER_01 23:09

Oh my goodness.

SPEAKER_00 23:10

I think we completely underestimate the power that children have and their potential from what I've seen. And when they're given permission to take charge, to lead themselves, they can solve enormous problems and they create this beautiful connection with one another.

SPEAKER_01 23:31

Wow. Wow. It's um and I think our school system tends to stifle creativity. So this is an another opportunity for them to get, I mean, that they're they're really getting getting their creativity out.

SPEAKER_00 23:51

Uh yeah, and I think one of the things that was really again gave me a lot of confidence at that same literature festival where I met Helen Fielding, I there was a presentation from some editors, and they showed like Tolkien's work and Jane Austen's work, and they showed how Tolkien was drawing as he was writing. His drafts all had illustrations of the mountains and the scenes that he was imagining. So he's doodling, got permission to doodle whilst you're expressing yourself.

unknown 24:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 24:17

Spelling and grammar was absolutely appalling. She was completely dependent on her publisher's editor for correcting her spelling and grammar. And we're not taught that it's actually a collaborative approach being an author. And that actually your ability to create a great story or a wonderful world is far more important than your ability to spell and do grammar because that can be corrected by somebody whose strength is editorial. There's two, you know, there's two different absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 24:46

Absolutely. Well, you also say the corrected child becomes the woman who quietly abandons parts of herself. Now, I I think that's just so powerful. So, how have you seen that show up in will women and children?

SPEAKER_00 25:07

Well, in children, we see it where they they start to lose, and it typically comes in towards the end of junior school, but certainly in secondary school where they lose their confidence just to ask questions or share their opinions, and they start drawing into themselves, and they get stuck behind the computer games or whatever, and they're not the same child that obviously they're not the same child because they're growing up, but they're not so willing or confident in their ideas or their opinions, and they become a lot more aware of the need to conform with what's expected of them. Yeah, yeah. But what you see with with again, if I go back to what I saw in in in the clinic, unheard, been the function, abandoned, you know, their needs have been completely abandoned, constantly serving other people.

SPEAKER_02 25:58

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 25:59

Which is fine to a point, but not when it's it comes at the cost of you when you become the the scapegoat,

Removing Bias And Letting Kids Shine

SPEAKER_00 26:10

you become almost like the collateral to everybody else's success, you become the collateral damage to everybody's success. You're facilitating everything for everybody else, but what about you?

SPEAKER_02 26:21

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 26:22

And it's not about being uh, I don't think it's even about particularly being feminist, it's just about being heard and seen and recognized and having the opportunity, and it doesn't take it doesn't take that much time, but having that hour a week where you go back to being the artist, go back to your whatever it is that you love, to go back to you know whatever it is that's core to you. So you've got that window that's yeah, all yours.

SPEAKER_01 27:02

Why do you believe storytelling is connected to self-leadership?

SPEAKER_00 27:08

Because when I was a little girl in the same city called Bradford in the north of England, it's where my mum's from, and you have a very distinctive Yorkshire accent from that area. My grandfather had this particular accent, and he would recite monologues to me again and again and again. I don't think he once read me a book, again, perfectly able to, wrote his own stories, but he would recite awful storytelling. And the one that he would particularly recite to me repeatedly, and I would ask for repeatedly would be if, be Kipling's If. And I did no idea when I was a little girl, and I would hear it again and again and again, that that story, that poem, that monologue was going to be vital for me getting through these last few years. Literally every single morning in the darkest times, I would just hear even the first verse, the first verse, and that would get me out of bed. That would make me take the first walk in the morning, take the first step, make sure I'd looked after myself.

SPEAKER_02 28:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 28:07

And without if I I I don't I I don't even can't even I can't even think because it gave me the faith or it gave me the reference point, it gave me the model that actually you can get through hell, find something on the other side, and people can doubt you and say awful things about you. But as long as you hold your own truth and your own integrity, you will find a way through. So storytelling, both existing stories like if or poems give us a model or a reference point we can refer to. But then our own stories allow us to shape, and again, with children, allow us to shape and test our philosophies. We can't be wrong. If you don't like it, what you can do is stick it in the shredder. I'm well, you know, yes, wrong. So you get to test, the kids get to test out, right? Well, they're facing a particular problem, they get to test out solutions, they get to test out what success might look like on the other side. They get to explore what's actually going to make you take action, what's actually going to make you do something. Because it's those philosophies that they develop through storytelling that are going to shape the decisions they make when they're growing up and the actions they take and then for the results they get. So it's vital to have an opportunity to play with storytelling both as the consumer of and the creator of the Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 29:27

For women listening who feels that she doesn't have the perfect conditions to build something meaningful, what would you say to her?

SPEAKER_00 29:37

You just start, you just start, you just ask yourself the same question. And if it's too big a question to begin, so if if if I could be the hero of my own story, it's too big a question to start with because you feel completely lost.

SPEAKER_02 29:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 29:52

Then there, well, there are two other things in that over the last couple of years, especially in the beginning, but I still do it, is what's the one thing I have to do to win the day? So I knew that again, I'd start with if and then go for a walk, and then what's the one thing? I went back to a paper diary. What did I have to do to win the day? And literally in the beginning, it would be make sure you've eaten dinner, and I was not even on cooking dinner. But then I could tick it off. So I'd won the day. And it's those one things every day that start to stack and they start to get bigger and bigger and bigger, and then you start to get momentum that you do start to feel that you are winning at life if you just tick off that one thing that you need to do.

SPEAKER_02 30:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 30:33

Or something else that Gabriel and I used to do, because life has been tough for a long time, would be at the end of every day, typically around the dinner table, we'd just share what were the three wins of the day. So again, however bad the day had been, or whatever had happened in the day, you're always ending on a high. And if there's just people at the dinner table, they would get to join in as well. And when it's three things day after day, you have to start coming up with quite small stuff. Like actually, the lady at the bus stop smiled at me. And you start to really realize all the really little things that are joyful that are occurring around you. So have to try one of those in terms of, yeah, what are the what are the three wins of your day? Because I think three was a good number in that you do have to get you have to get to the little stuff. Or in the morning, what is it that you need to do? Just the one thing that wins you feel like you've won the day.

SPEAKER_01 31:26

It's so true what you're saying, Kate, because we all are looking for that big, that big win, the big thing. And sometimes those come and but sometimes they take some time. So so if you can't, if you can't be grateful and start to look for those little wins, your your your momentum, your energy, your inspiration is gonna drop.

SPEAKER_00 31:48

Yeah. And it's it's I just kept having this feeling left foot, right foot, left foot, right foot, left foot, right foot. It doesn't matter how slow it is, it is just as long as you're stacking them, stacking them, stacking them, stacking them.

SPEAKER_01 32:02

Yeah. Well, I want everyone to know that we are gonna have some information in the show notes. So you can find the books, you can reach out to Kate, whatever it is that you would like to do. But we will have have information and links that you can do that. So, Kate, what is your hope for StoryQuest in the years ahead?

SPEAKER_00 32:22

My hope for StoryQuest is that it starts

How Correction Silences Girls And Women

SPEAKER_00 32:25

to, and I think you're quite right, in it it will empower not just children, but it will empower the parents too, but empower us all to be able to be the heroes of our own story, empower us all to be able to know we can get through the tough times, and that we are not sort of just slaves to the system. We are not just the result of our circumstances, we have more power than we believe we have if we just own our own character, and I think that was something that was really key for me with Gabriel was in this situation, I just knew I didn't have sport anymore to be able to, you know, it's obviously a tool I've used with him in the past to empower him and give him a sense of well done, can do, but without it, all we had was stories, all we had was an arrow week over a screen. But I knew he had to self-determine who he wanted to be. The situation we're in is life-defining. I wanted to give him the best chance for it defining him in the most positive way. So I guess it's probably all back to if. It's all back to the if you own your character, if you can look yourself in the mirror, you can get through some stuff.

SPEAKER_02 33:44

Yes, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 33:46

And and fantasy fiction is a very, very safe way to process difficult emotions, communicate in about challenging circumstances with very, very little risk. And I've certainly seen that through our stories, the things that we've brought up in the fantasy fiction world that even if it was with me, I'm not sure we'd have talked about in reality. But then you start to see this crossover. You know, mum, what does it mean that you trust me? Yeah, whoa, whoa, whoa, Gabby, you're 12. How are you asking me this? Okay, I'll answer it. And I don't believe he'd ever asked me that question if we hadn't already dealt with some quite meaty stuff in fantasy fiction.

SPEAKER_02 34:27

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 34:29

I it it's um it it's it's a hard thing that that your family's been going through. But on the other side, it's like you're just like everything is so beautiful when you have your hour together. There's no fighting, there's no you it's it's like excitement. Oh wow, okay, what are we gonna write today? What are we gonna do now? I think that he's gonna carry that forever. I just love how you've taken this nasty situation and built something beautiful out of it, and and for him and for yourself. And for and now look what's happening. Now look what's happening out of all of this.

SPEAKER_00 35:15

I think there's a sort of another point to this, is it's it's an hour a week that we have. Okay, and it dawned on me at some point. Gabriel's done martial arts since he was very little, and he probably spent an hour a week with his martial arts teacher. He will never forget his martial arts teacher who had such a strong relationship with him. And I probably learnt to swim in an hour a week, as most of us do, and I can still remember my first swimming teacher. And so you start to realize that if you've got an hour and you're very intentional with that hour, you can do quite a lot. And there is there is a yeah, there's a very there's very much an intentionality behind each of our hours. You know, we know there's time, obviously, it's not all sort of down to business if you like. There's the time for whatever we need to talk about. But there is we have gotten to sort of rhythm of where, yeah, we have there is an intentionality behind when we pick one call, right? You're gonna look at pictures next call. Yeah, mate, we're gonna do pictures next call. Does that mean that to prepare the pictures?

SPEAKER_02 36:17

Yes.

Intentional Hours That Build Connection

SPEAKER_01 36:20

Well, it's it's um yeah, we all have that hour.

SPEAKER_00 36:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 36:27

Let's not waste it.

SPEAKER_00 36:29

Yeah, and I I think that's again where where and it's I've watched, I mean he's 12 now, 12 and a half now, and the times when I've called him that his friends have texted him or pinged him on the computer game or whatever, he tells them that I'm speaking to my mum. So I think where people are feeling a loss of connection with their kids, if you're very, very intentional that you've got your hour on, whenever it is Sunday evening, Friday, whenever it's if you get into a rhythm where you're very intentional that you've got an hour, it's at the dinner table, wherever it is. Yeah, it's an intentional window, and you are intentional with that time that you're giving them, they will intentionally protect it. You know, the the respect becomes mutual because that's certainly what I've seen in that yeah, he messages his friends back saying, sorry, I'm speaking to my mum.

SPEAKER_02 37:14

Yeah, yeah. Wow.

SPEAKER_01 37:17

Just thank you for sharing this. There's a lot of people, a lot of parents that are hurting in the world. And I hope that they are gonna see this, and I hope that they're gonna find some encouragement and maybe get their own creativity working. So, you know, what they what they can do during their time that they get to spend with their children.

SPEAKER_00 37:39

Yeah, and if you just come in with that, you can't be wrong. You can't be wrong play, and it's collaborative. I mean, this time when, you know, we're gonna, but there's a blue whale that goes into Tokyo Harbor, and of course, granddaughter tell him this fuss is over whether a blue whale fits into Tokyo Harbor. Don't care whether a blue whale fits into Tokyo Harbor. It's fantasy fiction, you know. Dojo haven't been deceased long enough, extinct long enough, skeletons, doesn't matter. You you you've got to just remove all of the rules.

SPEAKER_02 38:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 38:12

About playful connection and engagement, them feeling heard and respected and empowered.

SPEAKER_01 38:22

And empowered. Love that. Well, Kate, thank you again so much for being willing to be here. And everyone, as I said, we're gonna have Kate's information in the show notes. So reach out, grab

Where StoryQuest Goes Next And Closing

SPEAKER_01 38:35

a book. Come on, people, support what's happening over here and and and yeah, just show your support and your love. So we'll have all of that there for you. So once again, Kate, thank you so much. Thank you for sharing your deeply personal but but beautiful story. I I I just I love what you've done with it. And it's and I think that it's show so important because it shows others that that we can take our pain, our sadness, and and still still do kind of something wonderful come out of it. But we but as you said, we have to be intentional.

SPEAKER_00 39:11

Just don't give up. I think that's from all those years as a physiotherapist. Once somebody quit, you're lost. But if you don't quit, you will find a way.

SPEAKER_01 39:21

You will find a way. Perfect, perfect ending words. Thank you for that. Okay, everybody. Well, thank you for being here for this episode of Women Like Me Stories and Business. And we will see you next time. Take care, bye bye.