How to Build Unshakable Confidence & Find Your Voice | Meeka Caissie

How do you build confidence, find your voice, and stop giving away your power?

Julie Fairhurst sits down with Meeka Caissie, speaker, entrepreneur, and senior leader with Tony Robbins, for a powerful conversation about women’s confidence, courageous leadership, self-worth, mindset, and the language that quietly shapes our lives.

Meeka shares how leaving school early and refusing to conform led her into a lifelong study of human potential, personal identity, and human behavior. Together, Julie and Meeka explore why true confidence has very little to do with appearance—and everything to do with self-respect, personal agency, and the decisions you are willing to make.

You’ll discover what Meeka calls your “emotional home”: the familiar emotional state you may automatically return to, even when it keeps you trapped in fear, guilt, shame, or overwhelm. She explains how changing what you focus on can begin changing how you feel, respond, and lead.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

•  How to build confidence and trust yourself 
•  Why being seen begins with self-respect 
•  What your “emotional home” reveals about your habits 
•  How language influences confidence and personal power 
•  Why saying “I can’t” quietly gives away your agency 
•  How replacing “I have to” with “I get to” changes your perspective 
•  Why decision-making is a muscle you can strengthen 
•  The relationship between courage, truth, and conformity 
•  How women can support one another without competition 
•  Why preserving women’s stories matters to future generations 

Meeka also shares the vision behind Ladies in Power, a community dedicated to women supporting women, and Her Story in Stone, her mission to preserve women’s stories through video so future generations inherit more than photographs—they inherit the voices, wisdom, and meaning behind them.

Your life already contains proof of what you have survived, learned, built, and become. The question is: will you keep dismissing that proof, or will you finally allow it to strengthen you?

If you are working to overcome self-doubt, develop a stronger mindset, become a more confident leader, or find the courage to use your voice, this conversation is for you.

Subscribe to Women Like Me Stories & Business for conversations about women’s stories, business growth, leadership, confidence, healing, visibility, and legacy:
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Share this episode with a woman who needs to remember that her voice still belongs to her.

About Meeka Caissie

Meeka Caissie is a speaker, entrepreneur, and senior leader with Tony Robbins. Her work focuses on human potential, confidence, identity, behavior, courageous leadership, and helping women reclaim their voices and personal power. She is also the visionary behind Ladies in Power and Her Story in Stone, initiatives created to strengthen women today while preserving their wisdom for generations to come.

Get connected here:  https://www.meekacaissie.com/home

https://www.facebook.com/meekacaissie

https://www.instagram.com/meekacaissie/?hl=en

https://www.linkedin.com/in/meekacaissie/

If this conversation stirred something in you… good. That’s where change begins.

Make sure you’re subscribed, share this with someone who needs it, and if you’re ready to tell your story, step into your voice, or build a life that actually feels like yours… You’re in the right place.

I’m Julie Fairhurst, and this is where stories turn into power.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:17

Well, hi everyone. Welcome to another episode of Women Like Me Stories in Business. I'm your host, Julie Fairhurst. I you the today is such a treat for you. So hang in. You're going to get so much inspiration, so much

Welcome And Why Stories Matter

SPEAKER_00 0:32

wisdom from this podcast. So I want you to hang in there. So sometimes a woman spends years building, supporting, leading, pouring into everyone else, only to realize that her own voice and her own story and her own legacy matter just as much. So in this episode, I'm joined by Mika Casey. Did I get your last name right? Yay. She's a speaker, a facilitator, an entrepreneur, and a woman who has spent more than three decades in the world of human potential. From co-founding a South Florida modeling agency to working across film, media, and music, and now serving as a senior leader with Tony Robbins. Mika has built a life around helping people think differently, raise their standards, and take meaningful action. So this is a conversation that's about more than just success. It's about courage, truth, identity, leadership, and why women's stories are far more important that we just can't forget them. So if you've ever wondered whether your story matters, whether your story is worth preserving and how to step into the woman that you are becoming, then this conversation is for you. So, Mika, I am just thrilled that you are doing this with me. Thank you so much for being here.

SPEAKER_02 2:01

Oh my goodness. Thank you. What an introduction. I appreciate it. I'm very excited to be here. Oh, awesome, awesome.

SPEAKER_00 2:07

So let's dive in. So I'm I'm curious, you spent more than three decades in the business of human potential. What first drew you to that work?

SPEAKER_02 2:17

Oh, great question. Well, I quit school at age 14 and I learned, I went to work. I thought work

Dropping Out And Staying Curious

SPEAKER_02 2:24

was going to be easier than the teachers. And I was rudely awakened. I ended up going back to school, and then I quit again. And I realized that I was not conforming. I didn't want to sit there and none of the teachers wanted to answer me when I asked why something had to be a certain way or why I had to think a certain way. And I really didn't like this person at the front of the room telling me who I was, what I needed to do, and how I needed to do it without explaining themselves. They hadn't earned my trust. And that really put me into a, I mean, at age 17, I was on my own. I left home and got myself a bartending job under the table. I wasn't even legally allowed to work that age, but I convinced this really kind man to hire me. And I learned about real life and real people, and that circumstances are what lead us to the way we believe, the actions that we take in the world. And I started to get really curious about it at a very young age. I think honestly, it was in I give my parents a lot of credit because they weren't micromanagers. They had their own life and they were busy doing their own thing. They were hippies. And I had a lot of freedom as a young child to express myself. And that led to curiosity and curiosity and curiosity. In some areas, curiosity was really appreciated and invited. In other areas, like school, curiosity was condemned. And, you know, I well, I got curious about it. So that's really where where it began. I think just not wanting to be like everybody else. Even though we're all so similar in many ways, there's a lot of ways that I re recognize that we're also very different. And I'm not special. You know, everybody has that ability to think different, to operate different, and yet the human psyche is trained us to follow along, to ducks in a row, do what you're told. And no matter the consequence, I was uh I've been quite defiant.

SPEAKER_00 4:44

Well, and not everybody learns the same way. Yeah, I remember driving a math teacher crazy saying, but I don't understand how you get that. And he's like, Well, you just do this, this, this. And I'm like, well, uh, but but but how do you get that? Like, why does it end up being that? And he's like, but yeah, not everybody learns that same pathway.

SPEAKER_01 5:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 5:10

Yeah. And I learned that recently, I must share, working with Tony Robbins, he talks a lot about the masculine and the feminine. And I learned masculine and feminine being girls and boys. And he teaches

Learning Styles And Brain Wiring

SPEAKER_02 5:25

masculine and feminine being a it's an essence, it's it's an innate DNA, a genetic, it's it's men are wired, their brains are wired straight. Women's brains are wired curved. It's and and so getting understanding that the the masculine is very focused. They're the hunters. You know, if you go back a thousand years, they're out there hunting with a narrow focus. The women are in the tribe, making noise, communicating, coaching each other, serving each other. And it's very different. And when we show up in life expecting the men to think and act like the women, and they think that we're talking too much because they just like to be quiet and one focus, and they can't understand how we have so many focus, and we don't understand why they can only focus on one thing. And I'm generalizing, of course, and that that's just that leads to learning different. It learns, it really does. We learn different. It's it's it's it's amazing. And once we understand that, we can release the self-judgment, the guilt, the shame, the what's wrong with me, that little voice that says I should know this, and why am I different? And because we're all different. Because it does, you know what? There's because you are different.

SPEAKER_00 6:47

Yes, exactly. It's simple as that. Well, what helped you what helped you step more into the visible leaderships role? Because you were you started behind the scenes. Yeah. So what helped you to get more visible?

SPEAKER_02 7:06

Yeah, well, I actually started in front of the camera, and then I got excited about working behind the camera, and I find myself now with a happy medium.

Modeling Industry And Real Confidence

SPEAKER_02 7:21

I I think because I was five foot ten and I was scouted as a model very, very young. When I was 13, my mom was a model. She was on the cover of magazines when I was just a young baby. We did actually a Tampax commercial together. I was six months old and she was holding me, and that's kind of where it started. And and then eventually I recognized that they didn't want to hear me what I had to say. I was a, I was a I was a figurine. And I'm not I'm not complaining. I got paid a lot of money for it, and I loved being in the spotlight, but there came a point where I said, I have things to offer here. And in the role that I was in, nobody was interested. That wasn't the role of an actress or a model. That that was the role of a director or a producer or an executive producer. And that's where I really started to burn and think, I want to add value. And being a part owner in this modeling agency in South Florida, I had a good mix of behind the scenes and in front of the scenes. And I'll share something, I don't share it very often, but that school, we would sell classes on how to work in front of a camera. And my role in that school, outside of modeling and model scouting, was to work with women on a runway to teach them confidence. And I recognized that it didn't matter if you were 95 pounds or 305 pounds, confidence came from within. Confidence came from a belief, confidence came from the way we stand. And I got to work with these women on this runway. I was only 21 years old. And the lessons that I learned getting into the minds and hearts of these women that were beautiful and didn't know it, didn't believe it. Whether it was a boyfriend or a teacher or a parent or an uncle, somebody had grilled into them that they started to believe that they weren't enough or that they are what they had to say wasn't valuable. And that stirred something up in me, the the nurturer in me, the lover in me, the the teacher in me to really start working with these women beyond the physical. And and and that's I think that's really where it began. And again, in that industry, they didn't want to hear when I was modeling or when I had a part in a film, they didn't want to hear about my psychology passion or the the you know seeing things in that industry. There was so much, you know, drugs and alcohol and depression and things in that industry because, well, there's a myriad of reasons. And I just felt this innate need to love them and to see them and and and help them discover what was really going on. Why are you your drugs are a coping mechanism, you're not happy, your divorce is, you know, you're putting yourself into promiscuous situations that you're not thinking. You other parts of your body are doing the thinking for you, and and we get into this rhythm, and then there's shame, and then there's self-doubt, and it's a spiral. And I just became so fascinated with the psychology of people that I eventually ended up leaving the industry and and going back to school and studying psychology because uh the amount of people that were sad and divorcing and cheating and drug addiction, and it just broke my heart. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 11:04

Ah, wow. Well, many women in my audience have spent years caring for others, working hard, putting themselves last. What do you think most women need to hear right now?

SPEAKER_02 11:19

That you might think you're putting yourself last. And sometimes the world will convince you that you're putting yourself last. Your friends might convince you. The truth is, as I know it, my my belief,

Your Emotional Home And Hidden Gains

SPEAKER_02 11:34

my experience, of course, I'm only coming from my lens, yes, is that by serving others and supporting others, it is actually serving ourselves. If we're pouring our love and our light and our heart into our children, into our husbands or wives or careers, it's because we're getting something back. We are getting fulfilled in a way. And if we could focus, shift the focus from what we're giving up to what we're gaining, that two millimeter shift can change everything. That story that we often tell ourselves about doing everything for everyone else and unveiling, wow, what's in it for me? What's in it for me? There's definitely something in it for you, or you wouldn't do it. We don't walk in front of a car that's driving down the street unless we have the outcome of ending up in the hospital. We have, we, it's trusting ourselves and being willing to look at, I believe that this we have what Tony calls an emotional home. And if you think about it, what are what are some of the top five emotions that we turn to on a daily basis? There can be, oh, I'm guilty, or I'm shame, or I'm I doubt myself, or I'm in fear, or I'm sad, or I'm depressed, or I'm whatever those those go-to emotions are on a regular basis, then we think about the flip side. What are some of the joyful emotions that we feel on a regular basis? And nine times out of ten, we recognize that the number one and number two emotion that we go to most often throughout the day are not positive emotions and they're habits.

SPEAKER_00 13:23

Right.

SPEAKER_02 13:24

So becoming aware of that emotional home, that place that we go to that's familiar, even if we are feeling overwhelmed, if that feeling of overwhelm is familiar, even though we know it's not healthy, we can go there because it's familiar, because it's comfortable. And if we go even deeper sometimes, it's because then we get to be right about having something wrong with us. And sometimes that can connect us to a parent that told us something was wrong with us. So in this strange way, we're actually feeling connected with a loved one by feeling a negative thought because our belief about ourselves came from someone else imposing that negative thought on us. And it's actually a way that we can connect with people.

SPEAKER_00 14:22

Well, thank you for that. Because quite often that will come up in in conversations that I have with with people that we're we're we're talking with. And no one has ever said it like that. No one has ever said, Well, what are you gaining from this? I love that. I love it. It's just start to ask different questions. Yeah, yeah. It's simple, simple things, yeah. Well, what do you say for to a woman? I'm curious what you're gonna say about this. What do you say to a woman who feels she's missed her moment or it's too late for her to do meaningful work? It's only too late if you say it's too late. Mika this is much

Decision Is A Muscle

SPEAKER_00 15:07

too easy of a conversation.

SPEAKER_02 15:11

I mean, you're out of control. You're the boss of you. You get to decide. You may have you may allow other people to make decisions for you and notice you're allowing it. Sometimes the decisions are crap, crappier and crappiest.

SPEAKER_00 15:27

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 15:28

We're still getting to decide.

SPEAKER_01 15:30

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 15:31

There's gonna be a consequence to everything that we do. We're choosing which consequence we want. Most times, of course, there's always the horrific experiences that uh children, for example, you know, are in situations that they they really are out of control. Yes, of course. And I I I believe that as as adults, especially as women, we are in the we are in control. Even in the worst of situations, we do get to decide. And decision, decision, decision, decision. It is so important. And it's a muscle that we get to exercise. Decision is a muscle. Sometimes we're really good at deciding for our children what's right and wrong, what's good and bad. I like to say what's effective and ineffective. Is this effective? Is this working towards what you want, or is this moving you away from what you want? You're you're deciding all the time.

SPEAKER_00 16:33

Yeah, you're right. Yeah. And you might not think that you're deciding, but but by staying where you are is also a decision.

SPEAKER_02 16:42

It's also a decision, and that is where I see most women give their power away. Something as simple as saying, I can't. So you're invited to dinner and you don't want to go. Oh, I can't. Actually, I just don't want to go.

unknown 17:04

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 17:04

And we can find ways of saying it that are not mean or offensive or cruel, and owning ourselves. I so often we're wanting to please other people, and it's our at our own our own values, our own cost of our own self-respect, our own self-worth, our own pride. And and we've been taught that pride is wrong. A lot of people have been taught that pride is wrong. Pride is knowing yourself in in my world. Pride is a sense of leadership, it's owning, it's taking responsibility. Even if you're saying that you don't want to do something, how much more powerful is that than saying you can't? To say you can't, it it immediately takes away your power. Yes, you've got three kids, you got five dollars in the bank, the child wants to go to the water park, and your your your instinct is say you you can't, we can't afford it. How about how can I afford it? How can I afford it? What can we do differently? Sweetheart, the water park is an option later on. Right now, it's not gonna work. It's so different than I can't. Can't is so disempowering. Yes, and it's a it's just it's a word that I often use with my my ladies' group is we do squats if we use the word can't. It's 20 squats. Oh, and you notice quickly when your thighs are burning, how often you're using that word. So the benefit is you get better thighs. Yes. Yeah, and you really start noticing. Yes, you really start noticing.

SPEAKER_00 18:49

So our words, our words are yeah, and I think that by like the the example that you just gave about the water park, when you say I can I can't, excuse me, it's defeating to the to the child, I think, or to the person who you who you're saying, we can't. It but when you put it the other way, that's not for today, but but we will. Or how you know, however, it's just it it takes the it takes that I can't away. So you don't grow up thinking, oh, we don't we can't afford it, I can't do it. It's it's it's um it's very disempowering. It is, it is.

SPEAKER_02 19:34

There are so many things we do as women that give away our power, and nobody can take your power away. I'm very clear about that. Yeah, we give it away. I was in a conversation this afternoon with somebody who was saying, you're making me late for something. And I'm like, hold on a second. There's no chain on you, there's no leash on you, there's no weapon to your head. Like, if you need to leave, you leave. I am not taking responsibility for you being late. That's yes, there's a polite way of saying, Oh my gosh, we're in this deep conversation. Can we hold this for let's look at time to finish this? I really want to go. It's important to me that I'm on time. I honor my word, it's my reputation. I love you. Let's continue this later. I gotta go.

SPEAKER_01 20:28

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 20:28

There's so many things we can do, and then we feel so like, yeah, uh, I'm in control.

SPEAKER_00 20:37

Yes, yeah, exactly. You just you are described as a courageous truth teller. Now we can tell that by the short time we've been together here so far. What does telling the truth really require from a woman?

SPEAKER_02 20:51

Courage. And the willingness to not

Truth Telling Versus Conformity

SPEAKER_02 20:54

be liked, the willingness to be wrong. Our truth is our truth. It's not the truth. I'm not God, I'm not spirit source, whatever you believe in. I have my truth based on my experience, based on my lens, what's what's been experienced as pain for me, what's been experienced as joy for me. Those are all through my experiences. And that's it.

SPEAKER_00 21:25

Well, that makes sense. Courage. Yes. No, absolutely, because we we and for all sorts of reasons, we fear that.

SPEAKER_02 21:34

We want to be liked. Yes. We want to be liked. We're human beings that are, especially females, we're tribal. We want, we want community, and we're so conditioned to belong. And if we rupture the sense of belonging by speaking a truth that it risks not being in alignment with somebody else, then there's judgment imposed by others and on ourselves. And that takes willingness to be alone, a willingness to be again wrong. It it I really the it boils down to courage. It really does. And the opposite of courage is not cowardice. The opp opposite of courage is conformity. And we are so conditioned from the school years. We wake up to an alarm. We go to school. We sit down to a bell. We ask to go to the bathroom. We have a bell for lunch. We have a bell to come back for lunch, a bell to go home. We have a parent telling us when to go to bed, and an alarm clock to set us up again. Our entire lives for the first 18 to 20 years of schooling are conditioning. We are conditioned, like Pavlov's dog, we are conditioned to do what we're told to do, to sit quietly, to get your homework on time, to eat during this time. We might not be hungry from 12 to 1. If the school says 12 to 1 is lunchtime, we're eating from 12 to 1.

SPEAKER_01 23:08

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 23:09

So we're conditioned. And it's unlearning. Bob Proctor, one of my greatest mentors, shared with us that 85% of our life is learning. 15% of our life is unlearning. We're programmed, and then we spend the rest of our lives working hard to reverse those programs.

SPEAKER_01 23:37

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 23:38

It's unbelievable. From zero to four, 50% of our makeup, our decisions are made, our beliefs about fire, color, smell, they're they're developed before the age of five. So we're we're we're unlearning. We like certain things. We don't even know why we like them. We've been programmed. And it's as soon as you become aware of that, you're like, oh gosh, I really want to learn. What do I like? What don't I like? How come I like this person? How come I don't like this person? Like, get curious about it. Get curious. Instead of conforming and saying yes to things you don't want to say yes to, get curious about why why don't I want to say yes? Why, if that person is impact, I'm I'm feeling affected by what just was said or what I just saw, what's that about? What is that about? What what button did I just allow to be pressed? What is it like? Get curious about yourself and others. I I also believe that we're mirrors for each other. Yes. If somebody says something or does something and it really irks you, there's a chance that you do that. And that's why it irks you.

unknown 25:04

Yeah. Yes.

SPEAKER_02 25:06

It's just so we have to take responsibility and it takes courage. It takes it's so easy. The one finger out is the three pointing back. It's the oldest thing in the book. But you're you're this. It's like, ooh, wait, wait. Wait a minute, I gotta stop that. I I get to stop. That's another thing, Tony taught me that was really impactful. I'd love to share with your viewers is yes, that we don't have to do something. We get to.

SPEAKER_01 25:39

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 25:39

I don't have to do my laundry. I get to do my laundry. I have a laundry machine. I put dirty things in there. I hit a button and I come out clean for the most part. Yeah. I get to load my dishwasher. I get to go for a run because I have legs.

SPEAKER_01 25:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 25:58

Like if if we change the I have to to I get to, I didn't, I don't have children. I desperately wanted children. When I what and I understand it's the grass is greener on the other side, a lot of heroes, so you can have mine. And at the end of the day, it's it's I get to put my kids to bed. I get to stay home with my child. If we're willing to make that that two millimeter shift, and that's all it is, in everything, we can be so joyful, so empowered. And then we lead. When we're empowered, we lead others.

SPEAKER_00 26:37

Yeah.

unknown 26:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 26:38

People are looking for certainty. The world is screaming for leadership right now. Screaming for leadership, women to lead, men to lead. Our environment has conditioned us to belittle men because it's women's

Safety And The Need To Feel Valued

SPEAKER_02 26:53

time to rise. Ladies, we need our men and we need our men to be men. We need our men to be confident, to lead, to provide, not because we can't provide, not because we're not able to provide, because it's nice, because it gives them purpose. Let them be our heroes. Of course, we can open our own doors.

SPEAKER_00 27:16

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 27:17

Let them open the door.

SPEAKER_00 27:19

Oh, I want to tell you something. I I had in my 28 years of being a single parent mother, I never, I and I had many boyfriends, but I never let them buy me things. I was uncomfortable having them pay the bill. And I and I had to sit back and say to myself, okay, Julie, what is happening here? Because this is, you know, somebody wanted to buy me a gift. I'm in the store, I'm actually going into panic mode. I don't want you to buy me anything. And so I realized from doing some work what that was all about. And so I decided and I took a sabbatable of men, so didn't date for quite a while. And then when I started again, I knew what I wanted and I wanted to be treated kindly and I wanted to be treated. And so I found my husband and we love each other, and we've been married for 15 years. I have never paid a restaurant bill. I refuse. Now, yeah, it's coming out of the same bank account. You know, it's not like, you know, I could easily pay, but I like watching him pay. Even saying that just brings I most I get emotional because I want to be treated. I want to be treated. There's nothing wrong with that. And I let him open the doors where before I would just be, you know, you know, I don't need. I love that he opens the doors for me. Just those little things.

SPEAKER_02 28:47

That's beautiful.

SPEAKER_00 28:48

Yeah. Oh, thank you. But it took time. I had to realize I have a pro obviously I'm the common denominator, I have a problem, but then I and I knew enough that I wanted to fix it because I didn't want to keep being this way. Yeah. And and then the universe brought me somebody that was gonna just treat me. And I love it. I love and it was interesting. We went for dinner with about eight other couples one night. They were all friends of his from work. And he and he and we went when everybody was paying, of course, I wasn't paying, but he elbows me and he goes, Look around the room. And I didn't quite know what he's talking about. I go, what? And he goes, Not one of those men are paying. And I thought that's sad. And it was true. Then I looked, every wife was paying the bill. No, whatever, you know, but but let them.

SPEAKER_02 29:41

Yeah. Let people be treated. That is society, that is the news, that is the media, that is all of these separation, these, you know, uh divisions of there's this group and this group and this group and this group and this group. And and we think that it's, I mean, if I've never seen more division in my life. And that lands in our laps as well as men and women who are co-creating and coexisting. And again, it's it's not about what's right and wrong, it's how do you feel? I love when you said I want to be treated. And for the most part, men want to treat us. Women want to feel safe. Women's number one thing. Okay, this is this is a Tony uh lesson that is grilled into me that I believe women need to hear. And it's women's number one is needing to feel safe. And men's number one is needing to feel like a hero. They want us to tell them how amazing they are and how we appreciate them. If we go back a thousand of years, the men were the heroes, banging their chest. And yes, there can be too much masculinity and it gets out of balance. And it can also go the other area, the other end, where we want to take control everything. We want to take control over the bill, we want to take control over opening the door, we want to take control over ordering the food. And we think that we're doing something. And my experience is that it comes from fear. Control comes from fear. And if a woman wants to feel safe, a woman has got to allow her man to protect her. And this might create a lot of controversy with people on your show. And I'm willing to have conversation with them to go down the rabbit hole and look at the species of man and woman versus what we're learning about man and woman in the media today. Yes. It's masculine and feminine, it's not man and woman, it's masculine and feminine. And when the masculine is masculine, when the man truly, the masculine is protecting the feminine and the feminine feels safe, the feminine will open to the masculine. And the masculine then can provide, and the feminine can then adorn the hero who's provided and created that safety.

SPEAKER_01 32:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 32:17

We have really fallen out of that. Yes. And women are wanting to take control, pay the bill, even if it's from the same account, pay the bill. There's fear there.

SPEAKER_01 32:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 32:30

Just be willing to, if if it doesn't land on your audience that that is a truth, I invite you to consider it. To consider it, to dig into it, to do a little research on the masculine feminine and learn a little bit more about how the wiring is different. How the I mean, girls, we have Vijay Jays and they got pee pee peas, you know. We are different. I don't want chest hair. No, I want my man to have chest hair, though. Yes, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 33:05

Oh, yeah, love that. Thank you for yeah, thank you for sharing that. I I and it's important for them. Oh we take so we take it away from them, is what we do.

SPEAKER_02 33:19

We do, and then what are they left with? There's no purpose, and this is how the men are spiraling right now, and it's a it's an epidemic. Unfortunately, one of my close girlfriends just two days ago, her brother committed suicide. And this is the third one in the last three months that I've heard of. The men are struggling, yeah. The men are struggling, they're feeling unwanted, unneeded. They're they're where do I belong? You don't want me to open your door, you don't want me to pay for you. So then I'm I'm what's the point of me getting a job? The media convinces them they're never gonna own a home. So then why do they bother even trying? And it's this spiral effect that we must pour our love, our nurturing. The feminine is the nurturer, we're the lover, we're the, you know, we've got breasts that that that have milk to nurture. Yes, and we've lost connection with that. I think we've lost connection with that. And yeah, and the the sexes are are lost. Women aren't feeling safe, men aren't feeling appreciated, and there's a there's a hopelessness, there's a disconnect, and it's it's showing up in, you know, our our governments are having to seek military from other countries because the men here are not stepping forward. They're in a lot of the the the at home with their parents, and it's not the fault of the parent. It's it's a it's a cultural displacement, it's a media mess. And we, though, as women, we are so powerful when we own it. When we, you know, they say the the the man is the head of the house and the woman is the neck. Why? Because we get to choose where they're looking. We have more power than we know, but it's like that movie, the Greek vet Greek wedding. Yes, she's got the Windex. And and when we let the man believe, and this is controversial again, that they are the head of the house and they are pleasing us, they'll do anything. Yes, but ladies, we don't even know what pleases us. How the heck are they supposed to figure out how to make us happy when we don't know what makes us happy? Yeah. There's this, there's this spiral that just turns into. So I can hear my grandfather now, old school, okay, and he I can hear him, but he taught me, Mika, ask the man to open the door for you. Give him a role that puts a smile on your face. That's all he wants is to make you happy. He just doesn't have a clue how, and we can make it so easy.

SPEAKER_00 36:21

We can, we can, absolutely.

SPEAKER_02 36:23

We can make it so hard, which we have been, or we can, absolutely. Yeah, we and we're like it's us, it's we're our it's our power, and we're giving it away. It takes courage, it takes leadership, it takes not conforming to what the TV and the YouTube videos of these women that are saying, you know, oh, you can have this without giving up anything. Well, yeah, that's called, you know, a scam.

unknown 36:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 36:56

Yes, exactly.

SPEAKER_02 36:58

What would it take?

SPEAKER_00 36:59

Yeah, yeah. No, that's that's fabulous. Of that's just great, great information. And I hope that some people, I hope everybody actually, not some people, I hope everybody is going to listen to that and just sit back and think about, oh, yeah, is this what's happening in my house? Is this what's happening in my relationships? Because I I agree, we can we can we can be the lead without without overpowering.

SPEAKER_02 37:26

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 37:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 37:27

And without saying we're the leader.

SPEAKER_00 37:29

No, again, without saying it. That's right. We don't need to say it. We don't need to say it. Yeah. Well, I would like to ask you about the group that you have founded. So, ladies in power. So, what is that all about?

SPEAKER_02 37:42

Ladies in power, the the acronym is LIP. I'm gonna have a sip of water. Okay,

Building Ladies In Power Community

SPEAKER_02 37:49

and it's all about our what you say matters, what you don't say matters. You have a voice, use it. Speak up, learn courage, be willing to fail forward, be willing to be wrong, be willing to be laughed at, speak up, speak out, have a voice, empower other women to have a voice as well. So often we we came from community tribe where we all helped each other. If somebody didn't have meat because the hunter didn't return, somebody else would have meat and we would share our meat, we would share in our in in in way back when. And we've lost that. We've become scarcity, we've become competitive, we've become not abundant in our thinking and in our relationships, unfortunately. And I don't I don't even want to get into why, it just is for the most part. And ladies in power is my intention is a community of women that truly support each other, that truly support each other and hold space for each other when we're going through the shitstorm, that call each other out when we're not being in alignment, and I have a fuzz on my face, and to celebrate each other's victories. So often I hear I don't want to talk about how happy I am in my relationship because everybody that I know is miserable in theirs and I feel guilty, or I'm doing really well in my business, and everyone is talking about how they're struggling. I don't want to share. It's and and I come from a completely other place. Share, inspire, tell them what's working, give them hope, give them examples, give them support, encourage them. And so that's really what the group is all about. And tell you, I have failed, flopped on my face. I've had women quit. I've had women tell me all the things that are wrong with me. I've had them make up stories about me that I mean that are that are out of this world. And I've chosen many times I've wanted to just curl up in a ball, cry my eyes out, and quit and say, why the hell am I doing this? You know, I pour my heart and guts into these women, and then and then I realize that that is their experience, their story, their stuff to get through. And I must persevere. I must keep coming from love, keep coming from compassion, and also be willing to look at what might be true in there. Where can I grow? Where can I be better? And that's why I've spent well over half a million dollars on personal growth because there is no reaching it, there's no getting there. And I, you know, I wanted a circle of girlfriends that were on the path. Sage Robbins calls it sisters on the path. I wanted to create a community of sisters on the path, and it's not perfect because we come in wanting that, often with our paradigms and our beliefs, that that's not possible. And we bring our pain and we bring our experiences in and we bring our fears in, and we and often women will come in and and rupture the community, not intentionally, it just happens. And it's my role to have courage and not quit, not give up, and keep that harmony. Allow the stuff to come in that will break it, and then we get stronger as we come together again. And over the last 13 years, there's that's what we do. They say when you break a bone and it heals, it becomes the strongest bone in your body.

SPEAKER_01 41:32

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 41:33

And that's what that's what Ladies in Power is all about. And then it branched into I launched a podcast called the Ladies in Power Podcast, L-I-P-P. And uh we're four women from four different backgrounds that come together and talk about everything women. Today we recorded, we talked about joy, we talk about retirement, we talk about pain, we talk about money. And it's it's fascinating because you know, one of the girls is a doctor, one of them, two of them went to private schools and had maids and butlers, one of them escaped war-torn country. You know, I they've all got uh master's degrees and so on, and I'm a two-time high school dropout that went back to school after a media career. Yeah, and so we have these dynamics that we bring in, and it just reiterates the beauty of women when we co-create and collaborate instead of compete. And it takes courage to do that. So yeah, that's thank you for asking. It's a it's a passion project, and it also creates a space for me to get my feminine fix, my estrogen fix, and not bring it all to my masculine man who doesn't will patiently listen to it all if I need to unload. And he really appreciates when I share that with the girls.

SPEAKER_01 42:59

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 43:00

So that's right, you know, the women are priceless, they challenge me, they inspire me. I, you know, my gosh, I'm often the least educated, least wise in the entire group. I mean, I learned so much from their skills, their experiences, the humility, the courage, the wisdom. It's really special. Like you, you came and spoke to my group. It was such an honor to have you. You inspired so many of the women with your story who they had made up stories in their head that a podcast or a book had to look a certain way, and the whole world would know their secrets. And one woman in particular, when you shared that story about the woman who didn't want to share her whole divorce and experience with her man, and you reframed it for her, and she recognized that it wasn't about the man at all, it was about the support system to get through that crap that she had with the man. Yes. You turned on I have goosebumps right now. Oh my gosh. You lit up our whole group. I mean, that was a perspective that none of us had. Thought of. You've changed our world with that story. I'm so grateful, Julie. Well, thank you so much. Amazing.

SPEAKER_00 44:24

Oh, I appreciate you telling me that. Thank you. Thank you. So her story in stone. What is that?

SPEAKER_02 44:39

That is capturing women's stories.

Her Story In Stone And Family Legacy

SPEAKER_02 44:44

Oh, I had a fly, have a fly come visit me. I've got fuzz on my face. I got a fly visiting me. I I will share, I have this ready. So this here, this is my babcha. And uh babcha is grandmother in Polish. And my grandmother was a prisoner of war. She was tortured and rescued eventually by my grandfather, hence I'm here. And when I went to uh Poland to find some family, my gr okay, so my grandfather wrote this book. Oh, I have lived a thousand years, and he wrote it on his the end of his life because he wanted everyone to understand his perspective of World War II, his family, his experiences, his strength. And I didn't know where my strength came from, where my tenacity came from, where my courage came from, where my resilience came from, where this came from, this girl that didn't conform. I didn't understand where it came from. And reading my grandfather's book, I recognized, oh my gosh, my grandfather had a broken back, had a smashed-in face. He swam across the Rhine River in the middle of the night in all of his gear when there were no more boats left and bombs were going off. My grandmother survived the torture. And and I now know I dig deep inside of me. Whenever I have doubt, whenever I have fear, whenever I wonder, I think of them and I recognize I have their DNA, I have their blood, I am them. They are me. And I wouldn't know that if my grandfather hadn't written the book.

SPEAKER_00 46:42

Right.

SPEAKER_02 46:43

But not everybody wants to write a book. Or people say they're gonna write a book and then they don't, and they come to the end of their life, and they had never wrote that book, and that scared the crap out of me. I sent my mom this book that you fill out, your favorite color, a great story. Tell me about this. She didn't fill it out. I sent her another one that was more colorful and more playful and bigger words, and she didn't fill it out. Third year in a row, I sent her another one, a smaller one. Um maybe she didn't like the texture, maybe she just, you know, and I said, Mom, please, I want to know you some of your stories. And she's like, I'm not interested in writing in that book. So I came up with the idea of sitting with people and recording their story on video and capturing the essence of them, capture their laugh, capture their stories, capture their courage, capture those. What what does what meaning does this picture have? I mean, if this was just left behind in a photo album, I wouldn't understand that this is what kept her alive during the Nazi concentration camp. And so I feel a sense of responsibility now to interview women, capture their stories for them to have, for them to have for the next generation, for them to have for themselves. How often do women feel in the spotlight? I get to sit with a woman and they feel seen, they feel heard, they get to reminisce stories that they forgot about, and we get to go back and forth for a few hours with very loose conversation like this one for hours and hours that is 100% about them. And at the end, they they nine times out of 10, they feel wow, I've had a phenomenal life. I am so proud of myself, I'm so glad I did this. Oh my gosh, my great-great-grandchildren are gonna know where this family heirloom came from, why it's important, who is this person in this black and white photo? So there's so many reasons, and I thought everything is about history, history, history. What about her story? Yes, so it's her story in stone because I'm I'm capturing it, and they will be gifted a stone that has the story in it.

SPEAKER_00 49:27

Wow, that is so beautiful, Mika. Yesterday I was on a podcast I did with a lady in the UK, and she's done some incredible things, but at the end of the or almost at the end of the podcast, she started crying because she said, I I never realized until I started talking about everything that I've been doing. I didn't realize what I've been doing. And she, oh, I get now I got shivers, but she started crying, and she's she said, I uh yeah, I've done some like amazing things. She's she's uh helped 465 children in the UK understand that they're the hero of their own story. Oh yeah. So she's got quite a quite a back, quite a quite a interesting, and it comes from, I'll just briefly, it comes from her child. She she doesn't go into the the background, but there's a court order where she can only see her child one hour a week on a zoom. So we don't know any of the background, and there's a course that's happening, but she said to her, she thought, how am I going to make this one hour the best hour that it can possibly be? And so she said to her son, what do you what do you want to tell me? And they started writing a story. And it ended up becoming a book. And so they've got a few books. Now they they get together one hour a week and they write books. And so she took that and she went into the school system. So I mean, there's this horrible tragedy that's happening in her life, and she found a way to make it positive, and now it's flowed into I can't remember what the her program's oh, story quest. So it's it's morphed into this school thing for young children to understand that they're the that they get to write a story and they get to be the hero of their own story. It's just amazing. But she didn't realize the beauty and she didn't realize the depth until we really got into what she was actually doing. So I love what you I love that idea. I love your what you're doing. That's it's so empowering.

SPEAKER_02 51:49

Thank you.

SPEAKER_00 51:50

Yeah, thank you so much.

SPEAKER_02 51:52

Thank you. I'm really passionate about it. And I just did an interview a couple of days ago, and this extraordinary woman, 70 years young, she looks not a day over 50. Honest to God, she's so vibrant. Two grown sons, extraordinary. Both her parents have passed away, and she had this belief system for her entire life that her mother didn't love her. She never felt her mother's love. And what we recognized, or what I she gave me all this information through the weaving of this three-hour share. And it was a couple of hours afterwards that I was putting some pieces together and I read, I asked her, I said, Is it possible that your mother's love language was quality time? And your love language is touch. And so the connection you had with your father when he would put VIX on your throat when you were sick, or he would rub your thumb when he was putting you to sleep, or you were going for a walk holding his big hands as a little girl, that you felt so connected to your dad because of that physical touch. And your mom didn't like physical touch, and your mom wanted quality time, but you didn't want quality time with your mom because you didn't feel love because she wasn't touching, but she had all this quality time with your brothers, and your brothers felt so much love, and that spiraled into you feeling like you weren't loved, and your mom loved your brothers more, and now your mom's passed away, and you still have all this feeling that your mom never loved you. Is it possible that your mom's love language was quality time? And she had right there a complete breakthrough.

SPEAKER_01 53:52

Wow.

SPEAKER_02 53:53

And sobbed and sobbed and sobbed, and for the next day and a half went on to share with me all these discoveries. Well, this meant this, and this meant that, and this meant she gave new meaning to everything and felt for the first time as a 70-year young woman that her mom loved her so deeply her whole life. I did not see that coming out of this interview.

SPEAKER_00 54:26

No, wow, so beautiful. So beautiful, and and and how wonderful that at 70 years old that part of her soul's healed.

SPEAKER_02 54:40

Yeah, like as you got to witness it, yeah, yes, I got to witness it right there. She's like, I can feel my mom moving through me around me, I can feel her love. And from there, she was able to pull things out of boxes that she had tucked so deeply away in storage and start pulling them out and putting them in frames and hanging them on her wall. Because of that, that time that she was just able to navigate through and the and the the training, the the the effective listening and the courage to say to her, is it possible?

SPEAKER_00 55:24

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 55:25

So we we play such a significant role as women, empowering women, being fully present, not coming in with an agenda, listening more than we're talking, which I'm not doing a whole lot of right now as a guest on your show. Oh, that's okay. And uh I believe that every woman has it in them to add more value than they could ever imagine if they give themselves permission.

SPEAKER_00 55:57

Yeah. Wow. Oh, Mika, where can listeners connect with you and learn more about your work?

SPEAKER_02 56:05

Oh, thank you. Ladiesinpower.ca is the best place to go. From there, you

How To Connect And Final Legacy

SPEAKER_02 56:14

can contact me to book a call. The Her Story in Stone website is still being designed. And so I'm really excited about hosting these interviews. So if there's anybody locally, because I'm I do it in person, I will come to your home and sit with you and help you find a space that you feel good in and prepare you for it all. It's very easy.

SPEAKER_00 56:43

I and you're in the and you're in the White Rock area of British Columbia, Canada, right?

SPEAKER_02 56:47

I'm in White Rock. I drove to Summerland from my last interview. So it's, you know, if you're if you're within a five-hour drive, I will come to you. I've I just it's such important work. I wouldn't be the woman I am today if I didn't know where I came from. And those people are all deceased. And so without this book, without the stories, I never would have known. And I'm I really feel a calling. So ladiesinpower.ca, if you're interested in in uh applying for my mastermind or you want to follow our podcast, we don't do guests on our podcast because four women is enough. Exactly. Exactly. All the links are there. All the links, yeah. Lip, they just think lip L I P Ladies in Power. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 57:31

Well, I'll make sure that we drop the links in the show notes so that everybody can, anybody who's interested, can easily access them for sure. So, Miga, before we go, I just would love to know what legacy do you hope your own life leaves behind?

SPEAKER_02 57:47

Her story in stone.

SPEAKER_00 57:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 57:52

I I really want to create a ripple effect. We all create a ripple effect. And that's where the stone comes in. You throw a stone in the water and you see the rings. We all create a ripple effect. The kind of ripple that we create is up to us.

SPEAKER_01 58:05

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 58:06

A positive one, a negative one, a sad one, an abundant one. And my vision is to create a positive ripple effect with her story in stone, to capture as many stories as I can and to train other people around the world to do this. I I want to train people to interview effectively and get as many stories as possible for the next five generations to come. Without AI, I don't, I don't use AI. I don't want to change anybody's voice. I don't want to change anything. That's very important to me. Yes. And so I think that that is the legacy is that I I I helped women recognize that they really matter, that your life matters, you matter. Yeah. Yeah. You matter. That will be on my gravestone. You matter. Yes, you matter.

SPEAKER_00 58:57

Yeah, that's beautiful. Well, Mika, thank you so much for being willing to do this. I I just I I have just loved our time together. And and one of the great things about me getting to talk to people like you is that I get to I get to learn all sorts of new things. So I've got some things in my brain that are going as well. So I appreciate that so much. And for all of you out there, take advantage of snooping around and seeing what Mika might have to offer if there's any way that she can help you as well. And again, remember all of her information will be in the show notes. So you just go there and you'll be able to find it. And thank you for being here on this episode of Women Like Me Stories and Business. And until next time, take care, everybody. Bye bye.