The Cameo Show
The Cameo Show is a podcast about sharing our life experiences and learning from each other. Through solo stories and inspiring conversations with a wide variety of guests, we explore the secrets and strategies for feeling confident, empowered and equipped to live the life we want to lead. Tune in to learn how to find joy and fulfillment in your life and to gain valuable insights from the amazing stories and lessons of our guests.
The Cameo Show
The Optimism Trap: Why Positive Thinking Isn’t Enough
Positivity can be powerful, but blind optimism? That's a slippery slope—just ask Greg, who found himself literally sliding down a bunny hill at Breckenridge, unable to stand on skis despite looking like a pro in his brand-new gear. His hilarious and humbling experience perfectly illustrates how "just staying positive" without proper preparation can lead to embarrassing situations or worse.
We've all been there. Believing everything will magically work out because we want it to. Ignoring red flags in relationships because "things will change." Launching businesses without proper research because we're "manifesting success." Avoiding budget conversations because somehow the money will appear. This isn't healthy optimism—it's delusion with a sunshine filter.
In this episode we're covering:
- What blind optimism is and why it’s dangerous
- Why looking the part isn’t enough in business, relationships, or life
- How optimism should fuel action, not replace it
- Three strategies to avoid the blind optimism trap
- The importance of balancing belief with preparation
Listen now to rethink your approach to success! And, be sure to head over to YouTube to catch the footage of Greg's skiing mishap! www.youtube.com/@cameoelysebraun
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Hello and welcome to the Cameo Show. I'm your host, cameo. We are joined today by my husband and co-host, mr Greg Braun. Hi, greg.
Speaker 2:How are we doing so glad to be here?
Speaker 1:Greg likes to start us with a dad joke, so do you have one?
Speaker 2:I do, I do. Actually. What do you call the line of guys waiting outside of the barbershop?
Speaker 1:I don't know.
Speaker 2:A barbecue.
Speaker 1:Very good, Very good. Today we are going to talk about we're going to venture to the dark side of optimism On this show. We talk about a positive mindset. We talk about how, if you keep showing up and you keep a positive mindset, good things will happen. You just have to stay in the game. But sometimes it feels like just stay positive isn't really enough. And Greg has a great story. This one's from the vault. This one goes all the way back to a family trip we took in 2019 to Breckenridge to go skiing in the winter, and you've never shared this. You haven't shared this with very many people that are even close to you, right?
Speaker 2:Yeah, this story is a tad a wee bit embarrassing for old Greg here, but I'm willing to share it because I think it's important, because we do always talk about optimism and being optimistic and going for it, but there is a negative side to that. So we went on this skiing trip and I have never really skied before. You've snowboarded. You know the kids have all rode, you know skateboards, they have balance, you know, because they're kids and they can do things, but I've just never. I've always been kind of a clumsy, awkward lad and not super athletic, but a few years ago I had long hair. We got some new Columbia gear. We looked really cool Like I looked like oh my gosh, here comes a guy who knows how to ski or snowboard because he's got all the gear and we went on this family trip. It was, wasn't it? Christmas time?
Speaker 1:Yeah, so it was a surprise Christmas present for the kids. They literally woke up, opened their presents. It was suitcases full of snow gear. We live in southwest Florida so you know obviously we don't have snow gear. So it was all new and we got on a plane that day to go to Breckenridge for skiing and snowboarding.
Speaker 2:Yeah. So we get there and we get on the lift and go up the gondola and I remember just like feeling like gosh, I look like I know what I'm doing here, you know. And when we got up there it was like okay, you guys kind of went and did some slopes, right, you and Faithy.
Speaker 1:Not, yet we all went over to like the learning slope the bunny slope.
Speaker 2:Okay, yeah.
Speaker 1:Let me back up just a second For those of you who don't know Greg personally. He is 6'3" 6'4" on a good posture day. He's tall, he's lanky. You're not not athletic, you're just. You're just a little clumsy, right. Like so things like, things that we've done in the past, like roller skating me, me fine motor skills maybe. Skiing. You know these types of activities and Greg are like he's he's got a lot of height, so there's a lot of, like you know, center of a balance center.
Speaker 1:That makes it difficult for him, I think because of your height you're not low and agile to the ground Right, so these types of activities are tough. So he did look good. He looked totally like everybody had new gear and I was jacked because I used to snowboard all the time in high school and hadn't really been. But it's kind of like riding a bike, like once you know how to do it, you just get on it and go and the first couple of runs might be difficult but then you're like ready. The kids, you're right. Hoverboards, skateboards, all the things, they're ready. Everybody looks the part, you look the part and for whatever reason, we decided that you and our son, ben, who was like nine at the time, would ski and faith and I would snowboard. I don't know why I didn't put Ben on a snowboard and maybe you would have done better on a snowboard, but you put on skis. So we all carry our gear over to this like bunny hill and click in right Like you'd never really even know.
Speaker 2:I had no idea how to put the shit on. I had no idea. And we're standing around. I felt like Will Ferrell in some kid movie, where he's like the big dumbass and like there's a bunch of little six-year-olds. I had no idea what I was doing, and yeah it was. The ground was literally level and flat, but I was falling on my ass and just I couldn't do anything, I couldn't move.
Speaker 1:And then it was like you didn't even know how to like click into the skis nothing like okay, so when you click into skis you put your toes in first, you kind of stomp your heel and you're clicked into the binding. You're like latched into the ski.
Speaker 2:Well, okay, lesson number one we didn't get ski lessons, that's what I was going to say is like I looked around in that moment and thought maybe we should have, like at least I should have taken lessons for a half day or something. I mean otherwise this is going to be, but but again, blind optimism. I got this, I'm going to do this.
Speaker 1:Well, and I had blind optimism for you, because I'm like he doesn't need a professional lesson. I know enough. I skied before I snowboarded. I know enough to show you what to do and you'll get it it's fine. It's not that difficult.
Speaker 2:So even on flat ground, I'm falling all over the place, I can't do anything. And then I think, after, like some you know, laughter and frustration for whatever reason we're like, let's go over to the what do you call? The next level up from there was like a place where, like you, had ropes and this kind of, and it was literally flat. And then the other one was a slight elevation, the one where I went to next.
Speaker 1:I don't remember the one with the rope, I just remember the one where you okay. So this bunny Hill is not like you ride a chair up to a small like foothill and bunny Hill, this bunny Hill that we're talking about. For Greg, I forgot about the rope, so I don't I'm. I'm sorry, I missed that part, but this is like one of those where you stand on the thing, the motorized little like treadmill thing, and it pulls it like runs you up the hill. So, as you can imagine, it's not very high, it's not very steep, you're literally riding a belt.
Speaker 1:It takes you to the top.
Speaker 2:It's like a one degree elevation, it's nothing.
Speaker 1:I mean maybe 10, I don't know, 10, 15 degree slope, I don't, I have no idea if it was even that much. It's so not sloped that it's difficult when you're a snowboarder because you can't really go anywhere Like it's. You don't have any much momentum and most of the people on that hill were little kids and they were like zooming by and Ben and Faith went up and they zip, zip down.
Speaker 2:It's fine, you know. It's like okay, now watch old dad. And then now we've got to like pause this and show the footage of me right now of what happens next.
Speaker 1:Yes, if you are listening on a podcast platform, I go to YouTube. To go to YouTube. It will be worth it. You will laugh. I know it wasn't funny for you in the moment, greg, but I've never felt so bad. I felt really bad for like at first, but then I couldn't do anything but laugh because I couldn't. I cannot explain to anyone so you have to watch the video how funny it is to see a giant grown ass who has fallen on a no degree slope.
Speaker 2:It looks cool.
Speaker 1:It looks like he knows what he's doing. Here comes Sean sean white, you know, and I'm like laying with his like skis that are also very long, because you're tall like tangled up and you can't get them off and you're trying to like I would try to like sit up and it would slide out from under me and, just like I was, like so helpless.
Speaker 1:So I'm trying to help you stand up and I can't because you're giant and it would slide out from under me and just like I was like so helpless. So I'm trying to help you stand up and I can't, because you're a giant and it's awkward and there's like a little bit of slope that's enough to make you start sliding.
Speaker 1:And then you're trying to use your poles to like push the binding to click your feet out and you can't get that either, and at some point I just gave in and I couldn't not laugh and it couldn't stop laughing. And then that made it worse because you were, you were not laughing at this point, you were pissed oh yeah, it's like the frustration level and the but.
Speaker 2:But it's funny because, like, you came out and tried to help me and he like took one of my my steak. What are they called? Poles? Poles. You took one of my poles, you're trying to like pull it to help me up and all you were doing was like pulling me and I was just sliding you were like, you were like oh my god a body that was not able to move I don't know, why couldn't you move? Why?
Speaker 1:couldn't you help yourself at all. Literally, it was like why couldn't you move, why couldn't you help yourself at all?
Speaker 2:Literally. It was like they threw weekend at Bernies out there, and I was just like a corpse, just like nothing made sense. You know, I just couldn't stand up, I couldn't, you couldn't pull me it, just nothing was working.
Speaker 1:Let me remind everyone at this point Again, there was no chairlift, there was like very little slope. We're laying almost on flat ground. So wait, was there? Okay, we're going to have to pull the video footage because and we should have before we started talking but wasn't there also a moment where you find it, oh God, you finally did get going and you were going like three miles per hour because there's no slope. You like tucked your poles.
Speaker 2:Like I'm going off the black diamond or something. Oh my God.
Speaker 1:It was so funny. Somebody ran into the orange fence, was it you? Did you also run?
Speaker 2:into the orange fence at the end, I think so, oh my god, it's just too much it's too much and I was scared, you know also the whole time, the whole time of like running over a kid or like smashing over somebody little. Just you know it's just such a hazard it's a lot of mass to be out of control, and so I've never shared that story or put any pictures or videos up on social media or anything, just because it's quite embarrassing that I'm, that it's just that unavailable for me to stand up on skis so I think that's the definition of blind optimism, the belief that everything will kind of magically work without putting any thought behind it, without any action or practice, or I'll just show up looking cool.
Speaker 1:Well, you looked the part, that's for sure. It was kind of like hope in a side of delusion A lot of delusion, a lot of delusion. Well, thank you for being vulnerable and sharing that. I haven't laughed so hard in a couple of weeks. That really just brought me out of my little funk that I've been in because recalling that moment and I'm sure when we go back through, yeah. I'm good.
Speaker 2:I'm good, just putting all the raw footage in here of because, bia, your mom recorded the whole thing and she's just laughing her ass off. Which, yeah, and afterwards it was like, after all of that, I was like I'm just going to go into the, into the lodge, and just drink coffee and you guys have fun, don't I'm done? Yeah, and just drink coffee and you guys have fun, don't I'm done. Yeah, you did, it's like don't let me ruin your day, but this is not my jam.
Speaker 1:Which is a bummer because I wish it were or maybe next time like okay, here's where like-.
Speaker 2:I'll go take lessons Like healthy optimism is okay, I can do this, but I'm also gonna plan.
Speaker 1:I'm gonna put like a plan in place and take action on that plan so that this doesn't happen again. And that's exactly what we're talking about. Like being blindly optimistic in that case is just ends up being a funny story and that's great. But sometimes it can be really dangerous because you're ignoring red flags, you're ignoring potential things that could be a detriment to your existence, right? If we start talking about things that are more serious in life, like relationships or business or finances, you kind of have this false sense of reality. When it comes to blind optimism, you delay the problem, you think you can will your way through it.
Speaker 1:Or you know, we talk a lot about vision boards or envisioning things or manifesting. Those things all come with a plan. Those are all things that you envision, you dream about, and they are like an end game, an end goal for you to then back out of and go okay, what are the steps that I need to take? What is the action that I need to take to get there in order to actually achieve those things? They don't just like happen because I put them on my vision board. You know, five years later, all of a sudden, I'm not going to be releasing a book because I put it on my vision board. It's been five years of labor and tears and sleepless nights and working lots and lots of hours. And that's just one example of like something. For me personally, that didn't just happen because I think like, oh well, I'll just manifest it, that's not what that means Newsflash.
Speaker 1:That's not what manifesting is or what it means. You can't just decide you want something and then you manifest it and it just shows up. So other potential dangers of blind optimism and I have fallen into this trap myself is kind of this delayed problem solving idea. What do you mean idea? So what do you mean? Well, like kind of waiting for a sign, so like red flag, red flag, red flag, the writing's on the wall. But before I take action, I am kind of waiting on this sign that'll tell me, hey, it's, it's time to make a change. Or hey, you've got to pivot a little bit.
Speaker 1:And I think that that just is because it's extremely uncomfortable to recognize when something isn't working out the way that you want it to. And it's kind of maybe it's not exactly what blind optimism is, but it's kind of like. It's kind of like its cousin, right, like this idea that like, okay, things aren't working the way that I want. But rather than giving up on that idea, I'm waiting for something to really tell me that it's, it's for real not going to happen. Right, like some sign. That's going to be the moment when I realized, like, okay, I've got to do something different.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think another thing in in life it's it's like this delusion that that that we have, like the other one, is like fighting, like before we did any fight, training like jujitsu or kickboxing, sparring you have this false sense of like, oh, I would just get real mad and punch somebody. But there's this reality check that when you actually go through the practicing of doing it, the sparring, the rolling, you realize like, oh my God, I would get destroyed if I was doing, if I was finding someone that knew what they were doing. So it's like that same kind of optimism of like I can just ski, I'll just rent the skis and I can just go do it. I'll just go buy a drum set and then I'll get some sticks and dress up like a rock star and I'll be able to do it.
Speaker 2:And it's like you know there's the other element here in all of these equations, is like you got to do the work. Yeah, you got to do the actual stuff. That's not sexy. And like I'd have to go practice these things. I have to practice skiing and have someone show me how to throw a jab across and a roll and a hook. You know, like you're not just going to get mad and throw a haymaker and you might get lucky and land that thing, but like if someone knew what to do, they would grab you and throw in the ground and you'd be in an arm bar.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's a great point, that's a great like example, because I think that's our ego that jumps in and goes I can handle it.
Speaker 1:And, on a more serious note, as a female, martial arts training has taught me that if I ever were in a situation where I were being attacked prior to this, I really wouldn't have known what to do.
Speaker 1:My ego might have told me I would be able to get out of it. I'm strong, I'm tough, I'm strong, I'm tough, I'm smart. And I'm not saying that this training now would equip me to be able to get out of a situation like that with no, absolutely no, no doubt. But I definitely feel like I am in a in a better situation because of this training to now know what to do or at least have a fighting chance. Not just blindly assume that well, if it happens, I'll know what to do or at least have a fighting chance, not just blindly assume that, well, if it happens, I'll know what to do. So back to that whole thing of it can be a major detriment to ignore potential situations that could be dangerous for you by being blindly optimistic and then, the fighting and the training like that is definitely is definitely like a big one for me to as I reflect on that.
Speaker 1:Other ones are, like you know, when it comes to like budgeting. Right now we are budgeting. I hate the word budget more now than I ever have in my entire life because I have to focus on it and I don't like it and it's like really annoying to look at it and go, okay, where are we spending money? Where do we need to cut what's necessary, what's not? Yada, yada, yada. But here's the thing Like it's better to go through these things and analyze them and really have a grasp on where things are now, before things start to accumulate and you get each other and go, well, what the hell happened? How did that get out of control? How did we not see where we were spending so much money on eating out or shopping or whatever the case may be? Right Before you're like, oh my God, I just blindly optimistically thought that, well, it's not that bad until it gets bad.
Speaker 1:And that is the loop that we all fall into, and we fall into that loop with people too, right? So this idea that someone you're in a relationship with, your spouse, your, your boyfriend, what? Whatever your partner like, well, they'll change. Things will change eventually. Like we're we're just getting used to each other. And it's like back to what you said. It's not really about that. It's about recognizing what's happening because you're aware of it, and instead of just kind of looking past it and waiting for the dreamy rainbows and lollipops setting to to come into play. It's like, well, there's work to be done here, like there's some storm clouds that we got to work through and cover from and figure out it. You're right, it's the not sexy stuff. But here's what is sexy Having a plan B, having an awareness to like, what am I going to do if my plan doesn't work out the way that I am manifesting it to or the way that I'm blindly optimistically planning for it to happen? Your plan B in Breckenridge was well shit.
Speaker 2:I didn't have a plan B. I was going to ski all day.
Speaker 1:So now I'm going to go sit in the lodge begrudgingly right, because you didn't have a plan B. So, yes, that was plan B by default, but if now you went and we did this again, you would plan in a different way, right?
Speaker 2:I'd be the video, I'd be the camera guy for the day.
Speaker 1:Well, maybe you'd have a couple. Y'all have fun.
Speaker 2:I'll bring my backpack with snacks.
Speaker 1:Well, but what you would bring is maybe an open attitude to learn. So maybe you would try lessons in this case next time. Or you would already go knowing like this isn't for me, this is for my family, but I'm going to be here in the lodge to do those things to video, to have snacks, and I'm going to bring my laptop and I'm going to work on music, or I'm going to bring a book and I'm going to read by the fireplace or whatever the case may be, like a plan B. Plan B is really important when you're talking about those things that could be dangerous or that could be severe in your life, that you're maybe overlooking out of ego, out of lack of awareness, out of completely dismissing it as even being an option.
Speaker 2:Yeah, well, and just being real here, it's quite a superpower to be able to have a shit sandwich thrown in your lap and an absolute disaster, storm financially, come into your life and a bunch of tragedy, and be able to blind, optimistically, look at it and go we're going to get through this, and be able to like suck it up and go, do it and like believe in yourself so much that you feel like I don't care what the world throws at me, I'm going to make this shit happen.
Speaker 2:So that also lives in me. But it's just knowing when it's appropriate to harness that superpower and when it's appropriate to be more even about it and realistic about it and be like, well, maybe I can't go climb Everest without training, or maybe I do have to train before I go run a marathon. You know, I'm not a bionic superhuman. You know I do have to put in the work, you know, and it's like it's it's it's like an awareness of understanding and the only way you ever do is like pay attention to your life and be like, okay, in these situations I really, in this situation, I really did fall on my ass and I couldn't get back up. You know, I basically plundered down this 1% grade hill to the bottom where there's like little six-year-old girls looking at me laughing at me.
Speaker 1:You know what I mean.
Speaker 2:Like it's just like that, like that's you know, next time take lessons.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, well, and that's a great segue into a few actionable ways to stay on course without falling into the blind optimism trap. And you said it reality check yourself.
Speaker 1:Like ask yourself what are the things, what are the steps that I need to take to actually make this happen? We are all about dreaming big. I am all about manifesting and vision board and the law of attraction and going for what you want. That's how big, fun, amazing things happen in your life and if they don't, you learn something and you pivot and you go again. But you have to have a plan of action. Optimism should be fuel so, like you're saying, knowing when to channel that but it shouldn't like replace action. It should be fuel for action. And if you can't map out a plan, maybe you have to kind of rethink your approach and pivot and figure out what will work to get me closer to that end goal, not just jump out of the plane and hope that a parachute will automatically appear on your back Right.
Speaker 2:Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 1:The second thing, after kind of the reality check and awareness, is to use the hope plus proof formula. So great to believe in a positive outcome, but a lot of times it's great to have some evidence, like it's great to look at past experiences of your own. It's great to look at, maybe, some experiences of other people that you can learn from books, podcasts, data, expert, expert advice that will help you make informed decisions.
Speaker 2:Yeah, about what's possible yeah.
Speaker 1:About what's possible without just kind of crossing your fingers, putting on the outfit and saying I hope this works. Yeah, On that note, I will say that there is something about putting on the outfit Like this is kind of a little sidebar here, but like if I dress the part.
Speaker 2:That's half of it.
Speaker 1:That's half of it. Like you did the right thing in dressing the part because it does give you this kind of like sense of confidence that like, okay, this is what I'm doing. Like, whatever it is, if I'm going to be a fighter, I'm dressing the part wrapped up, gloves on, mouth guard in. I feel more powerful in that way. If you're going to be a skier, the outfit right.
Speaker 1:If you're going to do those things, it is fun to dress the part because it does give you a sense of confidence, but sometimes it can be slightly a false sense of confidence. So you definitely have to have some evidence to support the actions that you're taking. And the third thing that will help you stay away from the blind optimism trap is that plan B what if? A, what if plan don't fear a backup plan and, instead of assuming that everything will work out, ask yourself what's my plan if it doesn't? So, if you have an alternative, it doesn't mean that you don't believe in your ability to achieve what you're set out to do. It doesn't mean that you don't believe in success. It just means you're prepared for anything. And it means that you're open-minded enough to say if this doesn't work out, I'm not going to be ruined. I'm going to know that I learned something.
Speaker 1:I'm going to take that and store it in my internal experience data folder and reference it to know what to do next time.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm all about the idea of like living life in a way of where you're just like burn the boats, like we're here, we're doing this, we don't need boats anymore.
Speaker 2:Let's go and I know you are. But but yes, you're right, and that's what you're saying here is the idea that, like I can't lose here, because I'm either going to win or I'm going to learn, there's no losing. So you know, and you can apply that to anything. It's just where I would lose is if I would go back to Breckenridge, dress the part, not take lessons and go flinging down the side again, because now, for some reason, I feel like I've manifested these powers of skiing and I think that's probably the mistake people make is like, well, this business failed.
Speaker 2:I didn't really contemplate why it failed. I'll blame the market or someone else, or I had a bad business partner. I'll try it again. I'll blame the market or someone else, or I had a bad business partner. I'll try it again. I'll fail again, but I didn't really fix the thing that needed fixed, which was I needed to actually have good lead sources and good reoccurring generating business, or whatever the reason is. I'm just using that as an example. But like, you got to learn something from your losses, or else it is just a loss and it's not benefiting you in some way. You know Right.
Speaker 1:Well, and a lot of times people double down when it has failed and you feel like, well, I'm going to do this again because of some external source causing me to fail and I'm going to double down on my efforts. And that's not always the right answer either. I think that comes with just maturity and awareness and being able to ask yourself hard questions, because it's not easy to look yourself in the mirror and say what was my part in this failure? What was my part in why this didn't work? I wanted it so bad, I manifested it, I positively visualized it happening, all the things. It's hard to then go, but my deficiency was that I didn't have a plan. I didn't take action on those steps as part of the plan. That's where it can be very challenging and it can also be very dangerous.
Speaker 2:Something to really think about and evaluate in your own life of, like, who's in your circle, who are you listening to, who's feeding your information? Because when you talk about the budget, you got to have some conflicting information to what you feel. So if it's left up to me and my crazy blind optimism, I'm just going to push through and believe that I can make it happen, but it's almost like I have to have someone else in that mix going. Well, hold on a second. Let's be realistic with these numbers. If it doesn't, where are we going to be here in two years, three years Checks?
Speaker 1:and balances.
Speaker 2:Checks and balances. It's easy to get into a tunnel vision when your social media feed just reinforces everything that you already believe, because it's the algorithm feeding you more to keep you on the app. That's dangerous, because then it's you're not really getting anything, that's. And then when you get something into your orb that's different than what you truly feel or how you're like uh, I don't like that, I want more of, I want more sugar. I want more sugar, you know, and it like you do need some counterbalance to to keep yourself sharp and growing and going in the right direction. Otherwise, you're just gonna you're not going to keep growing. Yeah.
Speaker 1:You're going to stay stuck and then you're going to be frustrated and then pissed off. Really. I mean it's like perpetually pissed when you can't figure out how to get out of this loop of being stuck because you keep making the same decisions over and over and over again, whether they're driven by blind optimism or toxic positivity or whatever the case may be. But yeah so optimism is great.
Speaker 1:If you're new here, please know that we are like all. For all of these positive things and a positive mindset can take you very, very far, but reality checks, counter checks from other people in your life that you can trust. Evidence can keep you from allowing it to become self-sabotage. And so what I'm not saying is like don't do anything big or try anything new. Please try big things and dream big and do new things and challenge yourself every single day. But just check your parachute. Make sure it's on before you jump out of the plane, because it is not likely to magically appear.
Speaker 1:So stay hopeful, keep a little dose of reality and realism in your approach, and remember that positive thinking works best when you have a plan of action and you hold to it. Thanks so much for joining us. We have new episodes every Wednesday where we talk about life's challenges, we talk about mindset, we share personal stories and stories of our guests, so we do hope that you will join us again. You can find more at Cameo Elise Braun on Instagram or at my website, cameoelisebrauncom. Until next time.
