10 Years Sober and Temptation Still Whispers

Even after ten years without alcohol, the temptation can still whisper. In this raw and honest solo episode, Cameo Elyse Braun shares what it’s really like to stay alcohol-free long-term — the quiet challenges that never fully disappear, and the powerful mindset shifts that keep her grounded.

Whether you’re newly sober, sober curious, rethinking your relationship with alcohol, or supporting someone who is… this episode offers real talk, encouragement, and a little insight for staying strong. One day, one decision, and one “no thank you” at a time.

Chapters

• 0:00 A Solo Check-In
• 2:03 Sober October Context
• 3:26 Our Alcohol-Free Background
• 4:15 Anniversary Trip Setup
• 5:52 Publix Aisle Temptation
• 7:35 The Negotiating Voice
• 9:29 Why One Glass Isn’t One
• 11:02 Everyday Triggers and Scripts
• 13:07 Awareness Over Perfection

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:29

Hello and welcome to the Cameo Show. I'm your host, Cameo, and today's episode is a solo episode. It's just me here with you. And it's actually off the regularly scheduled programming because I have a personal story from over this past weekend that I want to share with you. For those of you who are new here, normally my husband Greg, who's my co-host, joins us, or we have a guest who's sharing their experience or expertise. But today, this podcast is all about just being real and saying, hey, here I am, here's me, here's the experience I just had. And you might find yourself in the same position at some point. So with that being said, I know I don't need to preface it with this, but I'm going to anyway. This is definitely not meant to be a preachy episode. I never want it to be about that. It is always about sharing our experiences so that we can learn from each other and feel less alone. And it's also timely because it's October. And so this theme of sober October is prevalent. And so I want to take a minute and the opportunity to talk to anyone directly who might be participating in Sober October, or maybe you're already on your alcohol-free journey, or maybe it's not you and it's someone you love. This episode's for you. For those of you who don't know, I have been alcohol-free. I've been sober for over 10 years, and my husband has been over 11 years sober. So we're no stranger to living an alcohol-free lifestyle and the challenges that sometimes present themselves. And that's uh exactly what this is about. So this past weekend, we celebrated our 18th wedding anniversary. Actually, it's not here yet, but we celebrated it over the weekend because, you know, life scheduling. And we decided to just take a short little trip up to Tampa to see our favorite band and stay in a hotel and just have a little cameo and Greg night away. We had some tacos, and before we went out to see the band, we stopped into Publix to get a cake for later and a bottle of alcohol-free champagne. Because in true cameo fashion, I was running out the door when we left because I'm always running behind somehow. I don't know how. And I forgot to grab my favorite alcohol. Not my alcohol, my favorite non-alcoholic mocktails. Uh, there's a brand called Toast. It's like non-alcoholic champagne that I can usually get at Publix. Or I also really enjoy Curious Elixirs, which I order uh and have shipped. Either way, I didn't bring any of them. So I thought, well, that's fine. We'll get the cake and we'll get some non-alcoholic champagne or hell, even just some sparkling grape juice. And we'll have a little toast when we get back to our room after seeing our band and, you know, watch UFC and celebrate. So there I am standing in the alcohol section of Publix because they put the non-alcoholic stuff with the alcoholic stuff, which makes no sense, but I don't make the rules. And they didn't have any. So I'm standing there looking around, and these little voices start creeping in. Now, again, again, I've been alcohol free for 10 years. I haven't had a drink of alcohol for 10 years. Let me say it one more time. 10 years, a whole freaking decade. And these voices start whispering in my head, hey, it's just one glass. No one will know. You're in a hotel, just pour the glass and set the bottle outside of the room. Uh, you can handle it. It's been 10 years. It's a special occasion. You're celebrating with your husband. It'll be fun. You'll get giggly. All of them, right? All these little sneaky ass voices coming in, negotiating with me. And I'm like, what the hell? I've been here before. But it was really strong this time for some reason. And it's not just like the addict in me feels that bubbling up. But you know, I didn't have a problem and I didn't go to AA, and I was, I was just normal drinking, social drinking, partying. I was just partied a lot and big time. If you're new here, there are other episodes where we share our war stories, and I also share a lot of that in my book, The Reset Button, uh, that you can also check out. But that's neither here nor there. Um, the point is that it's not just me, it's not, I'm not, it's not just addiction. It's also this conditioning, decades of conditioning that we are exposed to that equals, you know, celebration. Grab some alcohol, have a toast. Uh, it makes the moment special. You deserve it. And I I really was trying to convince myself that it would be fine. Just one night, just one glass. But here's what I've learned. And like I said, I've been here before multiple times over 10 years in many different situations. That voice never actually goes away. It's always there. And the more you practice not listening to it, the quieter it gets. Kind of like when your kids are screaming and you're just like, if I just act like they're not here, I won't hear them. Just kidding. Don't do that. But even after 10 years, it still shows up. And it's just that now I know the truth. I know that that's just a sneaky ass little voice trying to negotiate with me and telling me all the lies I need to hear to get me to give in. I know the truth. I know that one glass never ends at one. I know that the feeling in that moment isn't worth the potential spiral that follows. I know that it feels really damn good to wake up clear-headed and to know exactly what I did, how I felt, and that I don't have a headache the next day from the night before. The challenges don't vanish. They just kind of lose their power. And it's not just in the big moments, the celebratory moments, the anniversaries, the parties, the celebrations. It's the small everyday moments that also sneak up on you. And so I'm sharing this because if you are on an alcohol-free journey, whether it's just a break or it is a lifestyle change for you, you're not alone. It's those moments when you're like, I've had a rough day and I could really use something to take the edge off. And you try to convince yourself that you deserve it, and it's the only way you're going to get through that moment. It's sitting at dinner when the server says, Hey, do you want to see the wine list? Or would you like to make that Shirley Temple a naughty Shirley Temple? Someone asked me that. I'm like, no. That's weird anyway. Sorry, no judgment. Or when a friend or a coworker or family member says, Oh, you're still not drinking. Can't you just have one? It's the little moments. And these moments are real and they're the ones that really shape you and shape your journey. So it's not about perfection. It's not about never having those voices again because 10 years later, I'll say it again, they're still there. It's just that now I'm aware. I notice those thoughts creeping in so that I can call them what they are. I can call it you sneaky ass little voice trying to negotiate with me. And I can kind of push it away. And there are moments over the last 10 years, especially the tough moments, where that's been difficult and challenging. They've just gotten quieter. So whether you've stopped now, short term, long term, because you have a problem, because you have health concerns, because you love someone else, because you want to be an example for your kids, mental clarity, whatever it is. Maybe you just want to see what it's like to not drink, to just say no at happy hour and see how you respond, how people around you react, what your own visceral reaction is. It might surprise you, but just know that you're worth it and it is worth it. The decision, the break, the opportunity that you give yourself. And you're the one in control in that moment and every moment after that. You'll still crave it. It will feel awkward at first and also not at first. Later on down the road, anytime you feel like you need to say no, or you meet someone new, or you go to dinner with someone you've never been around in a business setting or whatever the case may be, it's awkward. I'm not gonna lie. You'll question yourself here and there, you'll negotiate with yourself here and there. But every single time you choose not to drink, you're strengthening that muscle. You're reminding yourself that you don't need to drink to celebrate, you don't need to drink to relax, you don't need to drink to belong, you don't need to drink to take the edge off. And you learn about yourself and you learn other ways to do it. It's not easy. It's not easy. So yeah, even after a decade, I still get those moments. And I know that if this is your choice, you're having those moments too. In the weak moments, don't give in. Keep going. Keep taking it one day at a time, keep taking it one decision at a time, keep taking it one no thank you awkward moment at a time. Just remember you're not missing out. You're kind of waking up. And if you love someone who's on this journey, the best thing you can do to support them is to not question them, to not uh pressure them, to maybe you know, just take a break when you're with them yourself. I think everyone can do that for a few hours here and there. Encourage them, congratulate them, support them. Don't give them a hard time. Why don't you drink it? And you can't good for you, man. That's awesome. I'm really proud of you. That goes a long way. And just remember that you're building something inside of you that alcohol will never do for you and cannot replace for you. And that, in and of itself, right there, is a reason to celebrate. So cheers. I don't have a drink in my hand, but clink. And know that there was no alcohol in my imaginary clinking glass. And know that there's a lot of support out there if you need it. Lean on people, tell people what you need. Don't be shy, don't be embarrassed, don't feel like you shouldn't tell people or that you can't, or that you're going to be judged. Honestly, you are. But you get stronger and you get more comfortable, and honestly, you get more confident each time you show up for yourself and stay true to what it is that you've decided for yourself. I won't even get started on health benefits, consequences, all the things. That's not what this is about. This is about saying I'm still right there with you if you're new to this journey a decade later, and I would venture to guess that people who are two decades into their sobriety still have these moments and on and on and on, and you can do it. If I can, if Greg can, and many other people that I know personally have decided to, you can too. We have new episodes of the Cameo Show every Wednesday. Some of them it's just me, some of them it's Greg and I, some of them we have great guests who share their experiences or their expertise so that we can all figure this thing called life out together. And I hope you'll join us again. And if this resonated with you or you think it might resonate with someone you know and love, uh share this with them. It goes a long way. It really does. It shows support and helps people feel less alone and know that there are options and people out there that that care. Until next time.