66 | Why Asking For Help Is Hard

In today's episode we are talking about why asking for help can be hard. Let's face it, it's not always easy to admit that we need some assistance sometimes for various reasons like pride or assuming that other people are just too busy to help. I am sharing with you some of the many reasons why this was so hard for me to do until a friend made an observation and commented on how I needed to learn to ask for help. In this episode I also share with you truths I found in my reflection with God as I went through this particular season of my life. 

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It's time to become to the mom you want to be. You can do hard things!
"I can do all things through Him who strengthens me"- Philippians 4:13

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Hey friend, welcome to the Restored Mind Podcast, where we are going to be talking about various life topics surrounding mindset transformations. These topics are coming from a faith lens and will propel you into a life of peace and joy. My name is Caroline, wife, mom of three, daughter of the one true king. Host of this podcast and certified light coach through the I am system by Painting Vehicles Incorporations. My hope is that this podcast brings God's light into your life and you break free from the chains that are holding you back. Friend, it is time to shift your mindset into one that will help you flourish. Ready? Let's go. Hello, and welcome to the restored mind podcast. My friend, how are you doing today? If you are a new listener, welcome to the restored. mind family. I'm super excited to have you here. I feel. Blessed and honored that you are here. If you're not familiar with what goes on at this podcast, we are working on mindset transformations from a faith lens. So that means we're taking worldly thoughts and flipping it around. By applying scripture to it so that we can live a life that is full of peace and joy. If you are a returning listener. Thank you so much. My friend, that you are making the choice to come back week after week had just spent some time with me. I feel really honored and I'm super excited to have all of you here with me today. So before we get started, I have to address the elephant in the room. Yes. I probably sound congested as you're listening to today's episode. And it's because I am, but we're here and we're just going to move forward. So to recap, what's been happening here at the restored mind podcast for the month of February. We were talking about various topics surrounding love as the main theme. And last week we closed out that mini series answering the question. Am I loved? And that episode we reflected on God's love and how that can set the foundation for us when answering this question. Now if you're new here, or if you didn't know, you might be asking, why are we reflecting on God's love for us? Well, my friend. It is because we are flawed. And even when we try our hardest, our absolute hardest. To love someone perfectly. We still fall short because we're imperfect beings. This week is not going to be a mini series of any kind though. It's still going to be a good one. Today's topic is going to cover the struggles of asking for help. How many of you out there? Are struggling to ask for help. I know that I was one of them. It is something that I have struggled with for years until recently. And when I say recently, I mean, I got a good reality check about five years ago. And did not fully grasp it until maybe two or three years ago. We're going to talk briefly on why it can be hard for someone to ask for help. And then we'll look at what scripture says. To help us renew our mind in this particular area of our life. Now I know that if I struggled with this, there's many of you out there that are struggling to understand why it is so hard for us to ask for help. So I'm going to hit all that first. It is going to be based off of my personal experiences though. I know that there are many reasons. That it's hard to ask for help, but I believe that what I'm going to share with you today is going to resonate with you. So there's this pressure that we have as an adult to quote, keep it together. You can't see me, but I'm doing these air quotes. Right. There's this unspoken pressure that we need to keep it together. It's the mindset that we need to fake it till you make it. And that mindset, my friend is so worldly that he can actually destroy your most inner thoughts. At least I know that from my personal experience. Faking it till you make it does not make things easier. As a matter of fact, it actually might be things a lot harder for you in the long run. I recall call living in this mindset and struggling to keep it together. Again, doing those air quotes, even though you can't see me. And the reason why I lived in that mindset was so that I could look like I'm just doing life with so much grace and peace. when the truth was that I was barely making it day by day. I was. Struggling and that season of my life Which leads me to feeling embarrassed that I did have it altogether and I needed to ask for help. The problem was, I didn't know how to ask for help because I felt guilty that I only had one job and I'm doing. Air quotes again, as I say home mom and still I can not do it well. At least. And my own perspective of myself. I didn't think that I did it very well. Here's the truth that I failed to realize it was that I had more than one job. I was not only a mom. But I also wear the hat of being a wife. A secretary, a chef. Made.. And so sometimes I felt like I got a little lost and frustrated, but. I thought that I just had that one job, but the truth is that I had multiple jobs. And even if you do label these things as one job, you cannot refute that there are multiple tasks within this one job. And there are some days where it just feels like it doesn't end. So for all of you stay home moms out there. If you feel like you're just becoming overwhelmed if you feel like you're falling behind on any of your tasks. Your kids are screaming and crying. You just feel like you need to come up for air. My friend, hang in there, take a deep breath. This season does not last forever. they don't last long. The season will eventually go away. And you're going to find that you're in a different season of your life with your kids and.. I just want to encourage you to embrace the season, even though it might be hard, but as we always say here at the restored mind, You can do hard things. So we've covered the pressure of keeping it together and feeling embarrassed for asking for help. Now we're going to talk about. This assumption that we probably all have. And that is we might not ask for help because we think we'll be a burden to someone. It's the assumption that we have, that we're going to burden someone with our request for help. I am definitely guilty for this one. I can almost guarantee that a resonates with a lot of us, especially if we already struggle with asking for help, It's because we think we're going to trouble someone by asking them for help. I was under the assumption also that I would be annoying to someone if I asked them for help or that I was being considerate of all the things that they have going on in their life. And that's the biggest lie that I told myself. Another reason why it was hard for me to ask for help. Is because. And I hate to admit it, but it was because of my own pride. My pride stopped to be from asking for help because in my mind that meant that I was admitting I was failing somewhere. And I did like that feeling. Having pride also blinded began to seek that I was desperately needing to ask for help. To clarify when I speak of asking for help and it's not only bound to be a stay-at-home mom. Though. I understand those were the examples that I did use. Now, there are situations in everyone's life, including yours, where help could be requested and accepted. But pride can stop us from admitting that we need help. I mentioned earlier, how in my mind asking for help meant that I was somehow failing. It made me think that I wasn't strong enough to complete whatever task was at hand. And I'm going to come back around to this later. But as a mom, I had a hard time asking for help with my kids. This is the area in which I struggled with the absolute most. At the beginning of this episode, I shared that I got a good reality check about five years ago. It was around the time that my husband deployed and I had gone back home to Georgia to be closer to family. There was a day where I was hanging out with my best friend. now, I don't recall all the details of what we talked about initially, but I do remember that she clearly saw that I was struggling. And I clearly saw that I was not struggling. Yes, because of my pride. But then she had said something to me that didn't quite sink in until much later in the day. And it was simply, you need to learn how to ask for help. It was a comment that was made in passing and it didn't really do anything at the time. But as I started reflecting on it, It made me think. Do I really struggle with asking for help. Now I want to go ahead and tell you that it wasn't an overnight change. That happened. It was a thought that came in and out of my mind every now and then. But through the grace of God, my friend, through the grace of God, he did reveal to me how my pride. And not asking for help was hurting me. And here's what I learned as I grew my faith and started diving into scripture about my lack of wanting to help. Besides the fact that I was being prideful. It's that number one? We are not meant to do life alone. In Genesis, God made a home for mankind. He created earth and everything in it before he created Adam. And after he breathed life into Adam, he said in Genesis two 18, The Lord said it is not good. That man should be alone. I will make him a helper fit for him. This is where Eve is. They created out of the rib. Of Adam. And I had mentioned earlier how I felt like I was somehow failing by asking for help or that I wasn't strong enough to complete the task at hand on my own. The truth is that. When we realize our need for help, we are not weak, nor are we failing. We've already sensually, just living the way that God has designed us to live. And guess what? He provides for us, everything that we need, which circles back to how God created everything in the earth. Before he created mankind. And number two. When we ask for help, we actually give someone an opportunity to use their talents or to simply serve. Jesus's entire ministry was about serving. And so what we don't ask for help when we need it, or when we don't accept the help, when it's been offered, we actually deny someone the opportunity to serve. The truth is that everyone has something going on in their life. And that brings me back to the point I made earlier about how we don't ask for help, because we just assume that we're going to be a burden to someone, but everyone has something going on in their life. There's not one person. Who doesn't have anything that they're not dealing with. Right. I love how Galatians reminds me to bear one another's burdens. And so fulfill the law of Christ. You could find this at Galatians chapter six, verse, two. Friend, I would love to encourage you to think about. What bearing one another's burdens actually means. That is the best way that we can honor Jesus as he is the ultimate burden bearer. He went as far as dying for us because of our sins and because of his blood, that shed for us, we have been redeemed and we've been saved. Yes. He was on a mission while he was here and yes, he was obedient, but he still helped. And he still served. Now think about the law of Christ, what comes to your mind? My mind goes to love your neighbor as oneself. How can we love our neighbor as oneself? It's when we are serving and when we give the opportunity to serve. The last thing that I want to talk about. The last thing that I learned as I grew my faith and started diving just scripture about my lack of wanting for help is this. Asking for help acknowledges just how much we are in need of a savior. Blessings come from those who help us, whether we asked for it or if it was offered to us. And that we can see that the Lord provides for us, everything that we need. Again. Pride could step in and tell you that you don't need them or anyone else, because you could do it all by yourself. But that goes against why guy courageous at the first place. Remember, he created the earth and everything in it that he created mankind. And everything was already provided for Adam. Pride could tell you that. You're weak because you can't do this on your own, but guess what? God tells us, he tells Paul when Paul is trying to get this thorn out of his side, saying. My grace is sufficient for you. For my power is made perfect in weakness. And so when we feel like we are failing, would we struggle to ask for help? The help has already been given to us. Everything has been provided for us. Now it's a matter of, are we going to lay down our pride and ask for help, admit that we need help? or we going to continue to have this facade up, that we are just going to fake it till we make it. And we're going to pretend that everything's okay. That we don't need help My friend. I know that it can be so hard to ask for help. I know that you can feel ashamed and embarrassed because I have been there before. It's not always a comfortable feeling to ask for help the point here is that. Asking for help. Is not anything to be ashamed of. Yes, it's hard, but my friend, you could do hard things. Thank you so much for taking the time out of your day to listen in on this episode. I meant what I said. You can do hard things, so don't let the daily challenges stop you from reaching your greatest potential. If you are ready to take the next step in your journey and are finding that you are in need of help and would like someone to keep you accountable, I would love to offer you my life coaching services. Click on the link in the show notes to get started there. You will also find links to my social media pages where you're able to connect with me as well. My friends, I look forward to speaking with you again next week here on the restored mind podcast. Go in peace.