68 | Moving Forward

In this episode we are chatting about what could be stopping you from moving forward and practical things you can do that might help. It's not always easy, but my friend, you can do hard things! 

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It's time to become to the mom you want to be. You can do hard things!
"I can do all things through Him who strengthens me"- Philippians 4:13

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Hey friend, welcome to the restored mind podcast, where we are going to be talking about various life topics surrounding mindset transformations. These topics are coming from a faith lens and will propel you into a life of peace and joy. My name is Caroline, wife, mom of three, daughter of the one true king. Host of this podcast and certified light coach through the I am system by Painting Vehicles Incorporations. My hope is that this podcast brings God's light into your life and you break free from the chains that are holding you back. Friend, it is time to shift your mindset into one that will help you flourish. Ready? Let's go. Hello, and welcome to the restored mind podcast. My friend, how are you doing this week? How has the pollen been treating you?. I know, I know. The pollen is probably driving you bonkers right now. And I'm so sorry for that. But if you are a new listener, welcome to the restored mind family. I don't know how you got here, but I'm so happy that you found me. The restored mind podcast talks about mindset transformations that comes from a faith lens. So we look at scripture to help ground us in our way of thinking so that we can live a life. Full of peace and joy. If you are a returning listener. Welcome back, my friend. I'm super excited that you come back week after week to be in on this conversation. Just listen to what I have to say. It means a lot to me more than you'll ever know. And I'm just generally really honored that all of you are here with me today. So last week we talked about what to do in the waiting. We went over a couple of things that we can do while we wait. We also talked about. Y, it can be hard to wait. And the blessings that come from being in that season of waiting. And I shared with you guys how I'm in the middle, or I guess in the beginning stages of moving my little family and I to California. We have lived in North Carolina for about 10 years. And our little over 10 years, and now when moving to California, because my husband is in the service and they've decided to move us out there. And so. This is a new change for us, but we know where we're going. We just don't know when we're going. And this is the season of waiting for us. And so, all of that was talked about in last week's episode, So if any of that sounded interesting to you, I would highly recommend. That you check it out and listen to it. So this week, we're going to talk about moving forward and I know that it can be hard to move forward. I was reflecting on the me from roughly three years ago and a big portion of my healing came from actually moving forward. So putting in the work. The problem was that I didn't know how to do that. I didn't know what was stopping me either. Today, I'm going to highlight some of the challenges that we face that can stop us from moving forward and give a practical application on what you can do to help you in the process. Of moving forward. If you're a returning listener, you know that I talk about my miscarriage and my fitness journey quite often on here. And if you are new, you're going to quickly learn as you keep coming back that I referenced these points often. And the reason why is because. These were the hardest mental challenges for me. And it was at these particular points in my life where I decided to stop being a victim of life because we all know life can get hard and messy and to start fighting back, I wanted to do something about the hard things that I was going through. I was so tired of being tired and the way I was thinking also back then affected my behavior, my attitude, which also didn't lead me into being the best version of. Of myself. It is also why I'm very open about the kind of mindsets that I had back then, because it is a part of my story and it makes up a big portion of why the restored mind is called the restored mind. It's about coming out of a negative mindset and moving into a sustainable, positive mindset that will conquer the hardest of days. And it's not. Reliant on ourself. It's reliant on Jesus on his word, on God's words. And so with that being said, all of this is possible by the grace of God. I know for sure. I did not do this alone. I was broken and at my worst. When. I finally surrendered and everything over into said, you know what, Lord take it because I don't want to anymore. I'm so tired. I was not my own savior. I could not be my own savior. And that's when for me, I realized that I really needed. Healing and I really needed to move forward. So we're going to dive right in. I know that this was a long-winded introduction but the reason why I wanted to share this personal story was because I mentioned earlier, how I was reflecting back on. The person I was roughly three years ago. And I recall feeling stuck in that season of my life. I knew that I was tired. Of being angry and frustrated and the loss. And I just wanted to move on so to speak, but I didn't know how, and my friend, maybe you're in that place right now, as I'm talking to you and you're simply tired of being tired and you just want to move forward, but you're not sure how or what is stopping you. So I'm going to share with you some of my biggest realizations. Which are the challenges that I faced and you probably facing them to that stopping you from moving forward. I'm also going to give you some encouragement along the way too. So the first one I have here is that we bind ourselves to our mistakes. The struggle with forgiving yourself. In this mindset is so real because we just hold ourselves to a different standard. And maybe there's a guilt that we have to for hurting someone or doing something that we're not so proud of. When we lay down our pride in ego, or maybe even in private when no one is listening and in your own mind, you can admit that you're not perfect, but somehow we hold ourselves to that standard of perfection. Right. Maybe we even do that to the people closest to us, and I am 100% guilty as charged. On that one, which is why I'm talking about it. I used to hold myself to the standard of being perfect, but also held someone else. The people that I love to that standard of perfection and the thing was that I knew that I couldn't reach the standard of perfection, but my expectation that I have of the ones that I love the most. had to be met. And it was a very negative mindset that I was ended up bread. A lot of negative attitudes, that came along with them. Some of the labels that I used to put next to my name. Was that I was a failure. I'm not enough. I'm lost and confused. I am alone. I'm constantly angry and easily irritated. And I didn't quite know why I was feeling that way. I just knew that if things were not up to my standard, That I would be. One or all of these things. And eventually. When you are looking at these things, these labels that you place on yourself, you start to believe that that's what you are, that's who you are and how you were meant to live your life. But my friend, when you look at life from this lens, it becomes very exhausting. And I'm just here to remind today that you are not your mistake. owning up to your mistake does not mean that you carry that around with you for the rest of your life. When you own up to your mistake, you are acknowledging that you were wrong. In whatever situation it was in, then you do something about it. Now the magnitude of the mistake that you made, or the weight of guilt that you feel as you reflect back on this mistake. I don't know what that looks like for you. But I know that you can lift it up to God and ask for forgiveness. And forgive yourself. You can make that choice. Do forgive yourself. It's not in a magic eraser. That's going to raise all the things. That came along with that mistake, but it is the first step and moving forward. When we put our hope in the past, or we keep living in the past is definitely a challenge that. Can keep us from moving forward. And so I'm going to switch gears here a little bit, but I'm going to talk about clothes because I think that. a lot of us can resonate with that. Now you might not be able to resonate with my story if you are. A guy listening to this podcast. But we all have had experience of our body changing throughout the years of our life and not being able to fit. In our clothes. Right. Well, when I had my daughter aria. My body completely changed post-pregnancy. She's my second child with my first born. My body didn't change so much. I was still able to fit into my pre pregnancy clothes. And I had just assumed that. After I had my daughter aria, that things would just kind of go back to the way that they were, but that was not the case, at least not for me. So I kept my clothes because I thought that I would fit into them again. And I had every intention to lose weight. And what are the clothes, but it never happened. I also never donated them. I just kept them in my closet thinking that I was going to get pack into my post baby body. So what happened? Well, keeping the clothes. That didn't fit me anymore with the hope of fitting them again, led me down the path of constantly living in the past. Even my inner dialogue used past tense words, like used to, or looked like. And so I couldn't move forward because I was stuck looking in the rear view mirror. I used my pre-baby body as a goal. Instead of thinking thoroughly through what I truly wanted to get out of the fitness lifestyle that I was trying to build for myself and mind you. It had been on and off from that time all the way up until recently where I has been more of a lifestyle. Versus a trend. So I started from the past, trying to make it fit into what was then my present day, when all along I should have just started from where I was at and started growing from there. This mindset of living in the past can become very discouraging because it can lead you to think that whatever you're doing is not enough. And my friend sometimes more is not more. Sometimes you just simply need to focus on what you have in front of you. And let that be enough. Sometimes we can't move forward because we don't want to get out of our comfort zone and to do this, to get out of your comfort zone. You have to decide if you want the change bad enough, that you'll actually put in the necessary work to create these changes My friend moving forward is not always about making big steps. It's not about these big dramatic changes when we are moving forward. It also includes the small little details too. Start small. Small wins. Add up to big wins. And be accountable for your actions. No one will know that you didn't show up for yourself except you so. Be accountable. Think about when Jesus tells us to take his yoke upon us and learn from him. For me, that is an invitation to not only come as I am, but to also be changed as well, be willing to change. for me that it's an invitation to not only come as I am, but also change to, in order for change to happen though, you have to be willing to beat the mental barriers of all of the I can'ts. And I don't feel like it, or whatever excuses that you make up for yourself. Change your inner dialogue. Start using words like I'm going to, or I got this that remember, like I said, only you and of course, God will know whether or not you showed up for yourself. Today, he's going to know you're going to know.. So, if you say you're going to do something, have the integrity and the discipline to do it. Now, I understand. That life happens, and sometimes you have the intention to show up, but you simply can't for whatever reason or another. But I'm not talking about those onesies and twosies. I'm referring to what you're doing consistently. And you know what you're doing consistently. The question is, are you willing to acknowledge it? And are you willing to dig deeper and ask yourself the hard questions that needs to be asked? So what are some practical ways that we can move forward? Well, I would answer that by looking at Paul. I believe that he. Is a very good example of that in Philippians three. Verse 13 through 14, he says, but one thing I do forgetting what lies behind and straining forward. To what lies ahead. I press on towards the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ. Jesus. Now the goal is to have your eyes on Jesus, putting him first above all things. And I encourage you, my friend to invite him into all the places in your life. Even the hard ones. He doesn't want half of you. He wants all of you. you would not want half of a person in a friendship or in a relationship. So why are you giving him half of who you are? Why are you giving your loved ones? Half of who you are? Why are you accepting half of who you are? The change that you want to see happen moving forward. Is a new version of you. A new version of you that is not afraid to fight back. Jesus says in John four 14. But whoever drinks of the water that I will give him. We'll never be thirsty. Again, the water that I will give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life. This water is the living water, my friend, the holy spirit that dwells inside of us. So, how do you put Jesus first, when you're bombarded with thoughts of the past and stuck on labels that you've placed on yourself? How do you put him first when you are trying to move forward? You invite him. Into those places. Put in the work and be transformed. It doesn't have to be a huge chance. Formation. It starts in really first before it shows outwardly. Trust in him, grow your faith. If he is with you on Sundays as you're worshiping at church, he's with you all the other days, too. So invite him into your life. This is not a magic eraser to make your life suddenly easier by any means. But looking to Jesus will give you a place to go and he will sustain you. No. I know. That it's not easy. Moving forward is not easy, especially when we're in this mindset of being stuck. And just don't know. maybe there's something inside of you where you are living in the past, where you are stuck in the past, putting your hope in the past. Can't move forward because you don't want to get out of your comfort zone or because you're binding your mistakes to who you are. My friend. I know it's not easy to come out of all of these things. But you can do hard things. Thank you so much for taking the time out of your day to listen in on this episode. I meant what I said. You can do hard things, so don't let the daily challenges stop you from reaching your greatest potential. If you are ready to take the next step in your journey and are finding that you are in need of help and would like someone to keep you accountable, call I would love to offer you my life coaching services. Click on the link in the show notes to get started there. You will also find links to my social media pages where you're able to connect with me as well. My friends, I look forward to speaking with you again next week here on the restored mind podcast. Go in peace.