92 | 2 Ways To Be More Present With Your Family

Hey Girlfriend!

In todays' episode I am talking about the importance of being present with family. There are 2 major strategies I'm going over to help you create lasting memories and stronger relationships. I discuss the significance of gratitude, finding the good, and monitoring your attitude in maintaining a healthy mindset. Additionally, I also highlight active listening as a crucial form of communication that builds trust and deeper connections with your children. 

I hope you all have a Happy Thanksgiving! May you celebrate well this holiday season. 

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"I can do all things through Him who strengthens me"- Philippians 4:13

Transcript

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Hey girlfriend, have you ever spent time with your family? You're in the moment and you just take a step back to take in all that is happening around you. And you're starting to wonder where the time has gone. So now you're wanting to hold on to that time even longer, because you know that it's going to go by so fast. So then the question that comes into your mind is what can you do to create more memories with your kid to spend more time with them and to pour into them some more. Well my friends, we are going to talk about ways that you can be more present. With your family, because it is going to create more memories. And build a stronger relationship that is going to have a lasting impact for everyone involved. So today I'm going to share with you two major ways that you can start doing that today. So you can maximize your time with your loved ones. It's also a bonus that this episode is releasing right as the holiday season is upon us. Because these tips are now going to be super fresh on your mind. And I may or may not have planned it off this way. But at any case, we're diving into all of that right now. Are you constantly doubting yourself as you navigate your day, do you search for ways you can prioritize time with God so that you can become stronger in your faith as you lead your kids. do you wish you could have more confidence so that you can show up without wondering if you're making a mistake? Hi. My name is Caroline I'm a Christian life coach and mindset coach. I'm also a mom, wife and Jesus follower in this podcast. You're going to learn how to apply the word of God into your life. So you could feel purpose filled and your routine gain the confidence to move through the seasons in your life and learn how to use the word of God to build sustainable habits. So grab your Bible and bring your kids along because my friend it's time to grow. Did you know that I have a free community of women, just like you, moms who are looking for unshakable confidence, they are growing their faith. So they can kick doubt to the curb and start stepping into the roles that they've been led to. You are not meant to be on this journey alone. My friends. So come and join us. This is the perfect opportunity to connect with other mamas. Grow your faith even more. And take this conversation beyond the podcast. The link to join is in the show notes, but if you're already browsing on Facebook, which I'm pretty sure you are search the restored mind and come be a part of our small but mighty community. Friend. I cannot wait to see you there. Now, if you did already know, I am a mom to three beautiful children My husband and I have been incredibly blessed with them. And we love to absolutely do life with those kids. There are many things that we love to do, like hiking going on, picnics, going to the park, going to the beach, But one of our favorite thing to do is to have a movie night where junk food is involved. it's just really fun to be able to snuggle up on the couch. Just snack on our favorite snacks and just enjoy some quality time with one another. I know that I'm describing such a wonderful and fun time. But it was not always like that. What many of you may not know is that in my early stages of motherhood, I kept wishing for the time to pass. I would wish for them to be at a certain stage in their life because in that moment, My emotions would take over as I was filled with frustration, anger, and honestly, even resentment. because I was having to do an extra chore Clean up a mess and lacking some me time, which I know sounds very silly and very selfish. But this is the honest truth, and I was not always in the mindset of wanting to be present with my kids. As a matter of fact, I wanted to withdraw a lot of the times and not in a good way. Now I know this wasn't my finest moments. And if I could go back to tell my younger self anything. It would be to knock it off with the huffing and puffing because once the moment is gone, it's gone for good. So what you do in these times truly matter. And that is why I'm sharing with you two major ways. You can be more present with your family today. And the first point I'm going to make is to work on your mindset. Your mind, my friend is super powerful. It will set the stage for how you handle stress, unforeseen messes, or even meltdowns from your little. So if you're in that season, if you're starting your day, dreading the noise, for example. And that way it could be anything that you dread. But for me, it was the loudness that was usually in my home. The truth is that you most likely not want to fully engage. If you're starting your day off already annoyed at the situation, it's going to be hard for you to continue to show up and be fully present with your kids and that time, because you're just going to want to brush this off and move on to the next thing. it could be so easy to become distracted with your own life and comfort that you forget to see the world through the eyes of your kids. So you end up missing out on their world. And I think that we can all say, at least a lot of us here can say that we are very guilty of forgetting that. we are our kids' whole world, at least for a short time. Until they start to have their own friends and doing their own things, but in just these short moments, Our kids. See us as their entire world. And it's easy to just assume that your physical presence is enough. And why they love to have you around or to be around you. I also know that they would love for you to get involved and that their little worlds. Outside of the holiday seasons. My friend, your days might feel a bit mundane and repetitive, maybe even boring at times because you're doing the same things over and over, but truth be told it's in these mundane times, that gives you the perfect opportunity to create as many memories as you possibly can with them. When we're talking about mindset, I'm going back to Romans 12, two that says, do not conform to the world. But be transformed by the renewing of your mind. That by testing, you may discern what is the will of God. What is acceptable and perfect. And the way that I love to engage with scripture, if you're new here is to ask questions that are going to encourage me to dig deeper into what I'm reading. And so, as I was reflecting on this verse, what comes to my mind is the word conform, The question is what does it mean? it means to fashion yourself, like your mind and your character to another person's pattern. So this is basically saying as Paul's running out, do not fashion yourself according to the world. How does this relate to working on your mindset, to be more present with your family? Well, the world likes to tell you that kids are hard work and they are so much, and you need peace and you need quiet. And these things are true and it's respective places. But if you keep thinking that your child is a lot to deal with, If you keep thinking that you have to be miserable as a mom, it is going to be really hard for you to want to be present. With your kids. in order for you to be changed. My friend, you have to go to scripture and allow God's work to permeate your life so that you can be internally changed and start to see things from a different perspective. I also love that as Paul's writing this, it says not only to be transformed by the renewing of your mind. But it also says that by testing, you may discern what is the will of God. So that, to me says that there's work that needs to be done when you are testing something, you're proving something to be right. And here we are to prove that God's will is good, acceptable, and perfect. When we are transformed, we do just that we show that his will is good for us, and that it is acceptable because it isn't in alignment with him. And that it is perfect because we know that our God is perfect. So in what ways can you work on your mindset. Well, I have three really easy things that you can do. It's going to take time but there are things you can do right now. One is to practice gratitude. Two is to find the good and three is to mind your attitude. So when we're talking about gratitude, We're going to start from the very beginning from the time your alarm goes off in the morning, or if you hear your kids cry. Before you roll out of bed it's going to take a split second, but I want you to thank the Lord for whatever comes to mind. And as you're moving throughout your day, it's also a good idea to continually think him as you are washing dishes, as you're playing with your child and get your snuggles in whatever it is. Thank him for the day It is a great way to refocus your attention on what truly matters. and it will begin to shift your mindset and to seeing that, even though you have these Pains. It's still a beautiful gift. Now, it probably doesn't sound all that pleasing right now because When you think of gifts, your mind probably goes to something that is perfectly packaged and it gives you excitement to want to open it. But my friend, I encourage you to pause here for just one moment. And think about the gifts in your life that truly matter to you, A lot of the times, your mind is probably going to go to your husband. Your kids and your family and friends and that people that truly matter the car that you drive, the kind of clothes that you're wearing, that probably is going to come. Down on the bottom of the list. So as you are thinking about the pains that your kids might be bringing you in the season, whether it be. Uh, plentiful messes. Loads and loads of laundry to do dishes that never seem to wash itself because it just somehow sprouts up again. After you've done it. I think that we can easily miss the point of the gift that comes from God. And so it's so good to focus your mind on the Lord, to thank him for these beautiful gifts. So practice a heart of gratitude. And then as you're doing this, you're finding the good, which is point number two, find the good, because it's so easy to complain about all of the discomfort that comes your way when things are getting hard you're frustrated, whatever that looks like. I know it can be so hard. But the more you start searching for the good, my friend, the more you'll start to see what is actually good. Now that doesn't mean that you pretend that you aren't struggling or that, you have to fake it till you make it. Because like I've said before, that's not the best way to handle this. You cannot fake your way through life because it's just going to cause you more stress. Your mind is likely to find ways to overcome challenges when it is healthy and well, meaning when it is in a growth mindset, You have the opportunity to seize the moment to react to your situation, which we're going to talk about in just a little bit. But yes, the goal here is to find the good. When you're finding the good, you find a little gems that makes you appreciate even more, that people in your life And I was just talking about. Your reaction to things. So the third point is to mind your attitude, my friend pay attention to how you react to things that may be out of your control. Keep in mind that you're the role model for your kids. So think about how you want them to perceive you. There's this game that my kids and I, we used to play and They had to act out someone in the family and they looked forward to the absolute most to act out my husband and myself. And it was a clear message that the way that they perceived me was clean up that mess. And it was a dose of reality check. I thought I was the cool one, but I wasn't because they were always pointing out the fact. That I was asking them to clean up the mess, which spoke to how I was always worried about the house being too messy and things being out of place. And yes, the game was very lighthearted. But it was also very eyeopening for us. So if you decide to play this with your kids, you've been warned, you might not be as cool as you think you are. I'm just speaking from experience here. Another way to be more present with your family that you can start doing today. My friend is too. Actively, listen. It is a form of communication that I think a lot of adults forget to use. you want to be able to understand and respond accordingly. So imagine your child is talking and you're hearing their voice in the background, and then they ask you if you're the hero or the villain and the story that they've just made up and you respond with. Yes. Now truth be told that doesn't make sense and I can guarantee you, your child is going to call you out on it. Active listening. My friend builds trust and it creates a stronger relationship with your loved ones because it tells them that you are interested in what they have to say. As you engage, it shows that you're present and that you care about them. It will also encourage them to come to you in the future. Not only when they want to have a conversation or where they want to play with you, but when they're going through a hard time, it builds trust. And I know that as a mom, you want to be able to nurture them the best that you can. And active listening is an awesome way to do that. You can. Actively listen by limiting your distractions. Notice, I didn't say eliminate distractions because as a mom, Especially as a mom with several kids and doing all the things, it is not realistic for you to completely eliminate any distractions. That's just not a part of our reality. there's always going to be someone needing your help or someone is trying to talk over someone. And so I'd say limit your distractions, so control the things that you can control. Another way to actively listen is to make eye contact. it is so easy to pick up your phone as your child is thinking or processing their thoughts, but I would challenge you to resist that urge, make eye contact with them, engage in that conversation. You could do that by. Being involved in story time. You can also engage while you guys are having place on together. I always think that it's fun. Because you get to use your imagination again, and kids are so beautiful in the way that they remind you that. It's okay. To, to just loosen up and have fun sometimes. I hope that these tips, have been an incredible reminder for you to start showing up with the intention that you can maximize your time with your family, this holiday season and beyond. Remember to work on your mindset. Your mind sets the stage for how you handle what's in front of you. you can do that by practicing gratitude, finding the good and also minding your attitude. And we just talked about actively listening. It is a form of communication. That helps you build even stronger bonds. It is key in building lasting impact on your relationship with your loved ones. So you want to limit distractions like putting away your phone, making eye contact when you're speaking to them, if you can and engage in a way that is appropriate, according to the situation. So friends, I hope that you and your family have a very happy Thanksgiving. however you're celebrating, may you celebrate well, I know that it can be so hard to be present, especially in the distractions of the holiday season. And you're trying to get everything ready. Or maybe your season is just looking a little bit different this year and it's getting harder to show up, but my friend. You can do hard things. Hey girlfriend, was it this episode encouraging and inspiring to you? If so, go to apple podcast and leave me a five star written review.'cause. I love to hear what you have to say about this podcast, and I think you, for the time that you're going to take to leave that review. Also, don't forget to join the Facebook community there restore mind. And if you are looking to work with me, one-on-one. All of that information is going to be linked to the show notes. And I cannot wait to speak with you. All right, This is where we part ways, but I pray that the love and mercy of God comforts you as you go on about your week. Go in peace.