The Restored Mind | Mom Guilt, Self Doubt, Biblical Encouragement, Self Worth, Positive Mindset, Motherhood
Are you a mom who wants clarity in your purpose? Do you wonder if you're good enough? Are you looking for confidence that lasts?
I’m so excited you’re here! This is your go-to podcast for moms who want to overcome self-doubt by growing closer to God. You’ll learn how to apply the word of God to your daily life so you can feel purpose-FILLED in who you are.
Hi, my name is Caroline—mom, wife, and Jesus follower. I’ve struggled for much of my life to show up confidently in the many roles I play. I got stuck in the comparison mindset, lost sleep because of stress, and felt guilty for wanting to do more than just “be a mom.” Ultimately, I wondered why I wasn’t growing in my faith.
I realized that, in order to have the confidence I wanted, I needed to stop relying on the world for assurance.
I began reading the Bible and making intentional time for God. Focusing on my faith gave me clarity in my purpose, renewed my mind, and restored my confidence in who I am. This was a game changer because this freedom allowed me to nurture my children and help cultivate their faith as well.
If you’re ready to finally have sustainable confidence as a Christian mom—one who leads her kids to have a heart after God, builds a routine that fits your unique lifestyle, and grows in your relationship with God—then this podcast is for you! Grab your Bible, bring your kids along, and let’s grow together.
The Restored Mind | Mom Guilt, Self Doubt, Biblical Encouragement, Self Worth, Positive Mindset, Motherhood
94 | What NOT To Do When You're Wondering, "Am I Good Enough?"
Hey Girlfriend!
I know you've asked this question before: "Am I good enough?" and the more you thought about it, the more you realized maybe you fell short somewhere as a mom. Now you have an unwanted list of things you can't do well and have lost sight of what's really important. I today's episode I am sharing 3 things to NOT do when this you're in the midst of wondering "Am I good enough?"
Kick doubt to the curb, you CAN have sustainable confidence that will take you through many seasons as a mom. So, whether you're a first time mom or mom of multiples bring your bible, break out that notebook and grab something to write with, let's get it!
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"I can do all things through Him who strengthens me"- Philippians 4:13
expecting perfection out of yourself as a mom, we'll bring you back to that ever daunting thought of wondering. If you're good enough. When you expect perfection, that means You're essentially telling your brain that There's no room for failure. Ever which honestly isn't realistic. Trust me as a recovered and sometimes a still recovering perfectionist. This is not. A good thing. Okay. It is going to cause you stress. And it's not good for your mental health either We're diving into all of this and more. As we talk about the three things to not do when you are wondering if you're good enough as a mom. And It's all starting right now. Hey girlfriend. Welcome it to the restorative mind. What you just heard is a sneak peek of today's episode. I'm super excited to be diving in with you. We are learning how to get confidence that last that's right. Sustainable confidence. I'm your host, Caroline Thao a Christian life and mindset coach. If you are a mom. Struggling to find yourself again, or have ever wondered if you're good enough. This podcast is for you. So grab your Bible, break out that journal and get something to write with because we're doing this ready. Let's go. I want to take a moment to invite you to my free community where there are other mamas, just like you connecting with one another, building their faith and gaining that sustainable confidence that is going to take them through various seasons of their life. It's also going to be a great opportunity for you to take this conversation beyond the podcast. it often feels very one-sided because I am speaking into the microphone and it lights me up to interact with you and to know you more and just like you, I need community too. So this is going to be a great way for all of us. To connect and I want you to be a part of this group. so I hope to see you at building confidence through scripture for Christian moms on Facebook. Don't worry, my friend, I've linked it in the show notes for ease of access. I'll see you there. There was a time in my life. Where I was so sure of who I wanted to be in life. I mean, everything was great. The sun was shining. The birds were chirping. I was living my best life or at least I thought was my best life. But after my son arrived, that's when everything changed because it was just so heavy. I was lacking sleep. I didn't know what I was doing as a first time, mom, I was just kind of going through it and it felt very heavy and sticky and icky. It was all things. One of the biggest change for me though, was that I ended up losing sight of who I was. I didn't know myself anymore and I struggled to be the woman that I was before being a mom to make it all worse. This. Feeling of being stuck in this thought of wondering. Who I am. It actually progressed through all of my other pregnancies. And honestly, I remember having conversations with my husband. About how I didn't know who I was anymore or what I wanted to be. it felt incredibly hard because. I felt like I didn't belong into any certain groups and to top it all off, I just felt like I was way behind because I was looking at my life and my peer's life. And I started asking like, am I good enough for this. I don't feel like I'm good enough and that. Transpired into a whole list of lies, basically of why I was not good enough at doing the things that I was doing. And one of them was being a mom. I know that this season can be so tough and personal for each and every one of us. So I hope that this episode, my friend is going to give you that mindset, reboot that you need. To get yourself out of this icky rut. The first thing that you're not going to do when you're wondering if you're good enough is to isolate yourself and I'm talking longterm because yes, everybody needs a break. Everybody needs a breather. It is okay. My friend that you take the time to gather yourself when you need it. isolating yourself. Long-term it is when you begin to separate yourself from others, like your support system. So think your husband or close friends and family, Sometimes you might not even realize that that's what you're doing. And that's why it's so important for you to take a step back and evaluate your own actions. the reason why you're not going to isolate yourself is because first Peter chapter five verse eight reminds us that the enemy is like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. You don't want to be easy prey. Okay. You will also end up losing perspective and clarity and your judgments can get clouded because it's just you against you. And it's not always a good thing, especially if you're already in your own head, listing off all the reasons why you think you're not good enough. My friend, your mind is a powerful tool and it can take you to great Heights or bring you to your lowest. Just remember that you have the authority to overcome the negativity. I've said this before, and I'm going to keep saying it because I stand firm in it. But when you are choosing to look at positive things, that doesn't mean that you are completely ignoring the hard reality of what is happening in your life. It just means that you are going to work on cultivating a heart posture of gratitude. Because you want to see God in everything. And. God is so good. So there's always something good, even when it seems like it's not, I know. I'm going off on a tangent, but I'm just a huge advocate for a mindset reset that is full we're moving because it is so life-changing. But back to isolating yourself. Yeah. You don't want to do that. when you isolate yourself, you unintentionally magnify your negative thoughts and emotions. That you're having. So what you want to do instead. is you want to reach out to someone via text or phone call and just be in contact with them, have that community, have that conversation going. If your schedule allows for it, link up with a friend for coffee and yes, bring your child along. I would suggest maybe bringing a snack for them Or bring an activity for them. If they're of age to do something like a coloring book or a sticker book, or maybe even drawing pads for them to sketch something out, you know, that's going to be really, really helpful too, especially when you're on a coffee date and it doesn't have to be long. I have found that 30 to 45 minutes is a really good time to just catch up and have conversation. and your child around that time, it's probably going to be ready to leave as well, because they're probably going to want to take their nap. yes, reach out to someone be in that community now. If you're not able to meet with anyone, I would encourage you to still get outside. One of my favorite activities that I used to do, which honestly, Saved me. Is to go on a walk, which sounds really simple and easy. But when I was stuck in that head space of thinking, I wasn't good enough, and I was isolating myself and doing all of the things. I wasn't thinking about going outside, go on a walk. I was just honestly buried in my own negative thoughts that had a dark. Cloud looming over me. So. Get out of the house, go on a walk. It is so good to be outside and feel the warm sun on your skin to feel the breeze blowing against your skin. And honestly, it is such a good mental break. It lets you a little one to explore. This is also a great opportunity for you to have conversation with them and teach them about nature, about the trees and the birds and squirrels or whatever it is that you're seeing out there. It is such a good mental break to just simply be outside and be with God's creation. Now I would encourage you to also remember that your schedule. Doesn't have to be filled with a bunch of play dates every single day or a bunch of coffee dates every single day. the point is to be intentional with the quality of the conversation and time that you're spending with someone else. Just make sure that it is in keeping with what's in your current reality and schedule. if you're not meeting with someone, I still encourage you to get out every single day and go on that walk or go to the park and let your child explore and play. It's so much fun. You get to see their growth, their excitement when they see something new, it's just so awesome. But the point here is not to keep yourself isolated inside or keep yourself locked up in the house. You're also not going to compare yourself to someone else. When you're already making this mental list of ways that you're failing. It is not a good idea to look at someone else and focus on what they're doing. It will trick you into thinking that maybe you're falling behind. that you weren't cut out to be a mom, or even somehow you failed your kids because you aren't doing this for them or that for them. It's honestly, a sticky web of lies that can worsen your feelings of self doubt and continue to have you be stuck in this whirlwind of wondering if you're good enough. Instead, I want you to focus on your own self. Set small goals and work towards them. set a small routine even, and work through those. So that way you can start to have your house in order, even when it feels like it's not. You want to focus on what's in front of you. And right now, my friend, that is your family, your household. What this person is doing, what this other mama is doing is probably fitting for her family. So think about it like this. The way that your life is right now, the support system that you have, the kind of schedule that you have, even the baby that you have. It is not the same as who you're comparing it to. So if you're looking at another mama and she looks like she has all the time in the world to do all of these things, And, you know, she's still able to show up as a mom and you think that's a wonderful, why can't I do that? What's wrong with me friend. Stop. Because maybe. Her support system is different from yours. Maybe her season is even different from yours. So don't get stuck in that comparison mindset. Because again, what she's doing is probably fitting for her and her family. You have the responsibility to focus on what is working for you and your family, and move forward with that because adjustments are going to be made throughout the seasons. Anyway, your child is going to grow. And that's okay. It is a season. That will eventually start to fade. So I encourage you in this season to not get stuck in the comparison mindset. Stop comparing yourself to the other mama. Be in the moment, be present and embrace the season for what it is. I'm just thinking about one Corinthians chapter 16, verse 14, as I'm talking to you about this. But Paul writes, let all that you do be done in love. So if you're comparing yourself to someone else to put yourself down, my friend, I would challenge you with this question. Is that being done in love? keep this close to your mind at heart as you're moving throughout your day, Let all that you do be done in love. And let that be your Anthem for the day. The last thing you're not going to do is expect perfection out of yourself or really anyone for that matter. This happens when you become too hard on yourself for falling short as a mom, There's a lot of reasons why we might be feeling like we're failing. I would encourage you not to expect perfection, but to expect that life is going to happen. if you move through your mothering journey with the idea that you needed to have things done perfectly. You, my friend are ultimately going to stress yourself out, which is also going to have a domino effect on the rest of your family. If you want to actually maximize the most time that you can get with your kids and your husband. Then I would encourage you to simply go through life with them as in be adaptable to the changes, embrace the mess. That's going to come with it. Don't try and have your life look like it came out of a magazine or a Pinterest board, expecting perfection out of yourself as a mom, we'll bring you back to that ever daunting thought of wondering. If you're good enough. When you expect perfection, that means You're essentially telling your brain that There's no room for failure. Ever which honestly isn't realistic. Trust me as a recovered and sometimes a still recovering perfectionist. This is not. A good thing. Okay. It is going to cause you stress. And it's not good for your mental health either. My mind goes straight to Romans 3 23 this verse hits home for me because I was in a perfectionist mindset where I really wanted to show up and be that perfect mom. And it really made me frustrated when things were not like that. I spent a lot of my time worrying about the mess that was being made. And about how I was falling short. I kept trying to overcome all of these things with this perfectionist mindset that I had, but I love how Romans 3 23 reminds us for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, which means it's impossible for us to be perfect. So, what you can do instead is accept God's grace and yes, God's grace, not your grace or what you think your grace is supposed to look like. Which brings me to the next verse. 24 says and are justified by his grace as a gift through the redemption that is in Christ. Jesus. See God has given you the gift of grace. My friend. It is so incredibly hard to give yourself grace when it comes from you. Because you're quick to tell yourself no. Why. Because you think you're not deserving of it for whatever reason. I want you to sit for a moment. And journal through what God's grace in your life looks like. What has it looked like? What is it looking like right now? the gift of grace, my friend, a promise kept from way back in Genesis two, the resurrection of Jesus to redeem you. What a beautiful gift that says, I know you messed up. And we'll continue to mess up. But I still love you.. Do you know what grace means? I encourage you to look it up for yourself. I like to go into blue letter, bible.org. But grace means preeminently of that kindness, but which God bestow His favor upon the ill deserving and grants to centers, the pardon of their offenses See God, the creator, my friend, the alpha, and the omega has given you the gift of grace. accept God's grace, not the kind of grace you think that you're going to give yourself because you're deserving of it or rather not deserving of it So just a quick recap, when you are wondering if you're good enough, I would encourage you to not do these things right. We're not going to isolate ourself. And keep ourselves separated from our friends and family. That can be our support system. we're not going to compare herself to someone else, or you're not going to be Looking at another mama's life and her lifestyle thinking that you're failing somewhere, you want to focus on yourself and your family. And the last thing you're not going to do is expect perfection. That's when you become too hard on yourself for failing as a mom. Because it's going to cause unnecessary stress for you and your family. So you're going to learn to accept God's grace, not your grace, but God's grace. It is a gift given to you, my friend. Remember the challenge of journaling, right? write about what God's grace in your life has looked like? Share that with me in the free community. If you would like, I would love to know where your thoughts are.. Friends. I hope this episode gave you the mindset reboot you needed. I know I got more than that today. Diving into scripture. I hope you did too. It was amazing being reminded of God's goodness, through his words. And I pray this episode has blessed you. I know being a mom can be so incredibly hard, especially when you get stuck in the mindset cycle of wondering if you're good enough, but my friend, you can do hard things. Hey girlfriend, if this episode encourages you to show up in confidence and finally start making moves to kick doubt to the curb, share this podcast and leave a five star written review on Apple podcast. It brings me so much joy hearing from you and allows the show to be seen by other mamas just like you. Don't forget to join the Facebook page The link is in the show notes as well as all the links on how you can connect with me. Thank you so much for being here today. I had a lot of fun. Sadly, this is where we part ways, but I look forward to seeing you again on Wednesday as we dive into another juicy topic. Go in peace.