98 | 2 Reasons Why You Need Confidence Today and How To Get It ASAP

Hey Girlfriend!

I know you're out there looking for confidence, and you might be thinking, “Eh, maybe I don’t need that.” But trust me, you totally do! Confidence is like your secret weapon for thriving as a mom—it’ll help you put your best foot forward and stop the cycle of self-doubt and second guessing (a.k.a: Overthinking). In this episode, I’m laying down some hard truths (but don’t worry, I’m doing it with lots of love!). Confidence is so key to your growth, and the best part? It doesn’t have to come from a place of arrogance. So, are you ready? Let’s dive in and make it happen!

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I'm excited to connect with you! Remember, you can do hard things!
"I can do all things through Him who strengthens me"- Philippians 4:13

Transcript

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My friend, you want to be that first line of defense. Because. It is so imperative to their growth, especially if you want to grow them, to love God and to know God and to do things in fear of him to have a healthy fear of God. Right. We want our kids to have a healthy fear of God. you can't control what anyone else does, but you can control what you do and how you show up. That and so much more. I'm so excited that you are here and what you just heard is a sneak peek of today's episode. Hey mama. You're in the right place. If you're looking to overcome, self-doubt using scripture so that it can take root. In your mind and in your heart, it's time to finally have confidence that is going to last. Yes. Even through the hard times. My name is Caroline Thao. I am host of the restored mind and I'm also a Christian life and mindset coach. So grab your Bible, break out that journal and get something to write with because you are about to thrive. Ready? Let's go. Today, I'd like to invite you to become an insider as a subscriber, you'll get weekly newsletters with a direct link to the latest episode. Plus tips on how to banish self doubt and build sustainable confidence that doesn't depend on compliments. Imagine having the kind of confidence that is going to take you through all the hard seasons in your life without self doubt chained to your ankle. All right. Let's step away from that. It's time to walk in freedom. you'll also be the first to know about any special offers, giving you exclusive access to all the great deals and goodies. Head on over to restored mind, insider dot G R website.com. That's restored mind, insider dot G R website.com. now, mama, I get it. If your hands are tied at the moment, because you're taking care of your kids or you're driving them to school, don't worry. I've linked it in the show notes for you. I cannot wait to connect with you even more. So go and sign up today. We are officially in the first official week of January. I don't know about you, but I was dreading going back to quote reality after spending two weeks with my kids and my husband for Christmas to new year's, We had so much fun and created so many new memories that I didn't want to let it go. I hope that as you're coming back from the holidays that you have rested well, you celebrated well. And even if you're not mentally quite ready, To start 2025. Don't forget to show up for yourself. Okay. now I want to share with you a story about myself. pre Jesus. Before I really got to know him. I used to think that if I was confident in myself, I could not fail at what I was doing. How many of you have thought that before? I know it's not just me or maybe it is, and I guess that's okay too. There was also a time where I didn't steward being confident. Well, and I probably came off snobby. Like I was, I know it all. So yikes for that. If you knew me in that season, I am so sorry that you witnessed that Caroline. And again, my apologies, but thank goodness for growth. And for Jesus, looking back, confidence is something that I either indulged in or became afraid of. I know it sounds weird, but hang tight. I'll explain more. see when I was indulging in confidence, I thrived off the fact that I was so sure I knew what I was doing. So cue the snobby attitude and it actually worked against me because I didn't take feedback very well. And I ended up setting unrealistic expectations. Of myself Now cue the fear of being too confident. Because that set me up to believe that I actually didn't know anything at all. And now here comes self-doubt and fear it has taken over and chained itself to me. Or at least I let it chain itself to me. But how many of you have done that? How many of you listening now? Thought that if you are just confident in what you're doing, you possibly could not fail. Or maybe you were too overly confident and then the failures that you met shook that, and now you're just unsure of what your purpose is, or if you were even meant. To do this thing. But today's episode is going to be a mindset reset. My friend, I'm sharing with you. Two reasons. you need confidence. That will help you move the stigma. That being confident is a bad thing. Because most people think that when you're confident, you're quote, showing off. Or that you're masking insecurities and whatever self-doubt that is looming over you. But my friend, I want you to thrive as a mom. So we're going to dive right in the first reason you need to have confidence is because you want to be the role model for your kids. Now. Listen, do I have permission to be Frank with you? Like be that friend That's sitting with you in your living room having a cup of coffee, or maybe we're drinking water. If you're not a coffee person. And we're having this hard conversation. Because this is going to be a mindset reset episode. And while I love a good encouragement, Sometimes the hard truth is the encouragement. Okay. I say this with so much love, but if you don't become the role model for your kids, someone else will be whether they do it intentionally or unintentionally. That is the hard truth. Is this a risk that you're willing to take? Because you won't be able to control what someone else does in a way that they teach or what they believe My friend, you want to be that first line of defense. Because. It is so imperative to their growth, especially if you want to grow them, to love God and to know God and to do things in fear of him to have a healthy fear of God. Right. We want our kids to have a healthy fear of God. you can't control what anyone else does, but you can control what you do and how you show up. You need confidence, so you can show up as a role model for your kids, because quite frankly, they depend on you for guidance and for security and yes, for nurturing as well. When you're calm, they're calm. When you're worried, they're become unsure. And when you're constantly angry or frustrated, They begin to think that they've done something wrong. when you're confident, when you show up with confidence, It assures them and honestly, they reflect what you display. Right? They are like sponges. They pick up. Words and actions that you portray. So how are you being a role model for your child today? Now I don't hear what I'm not saying. I'm not saying that in front of your kids, you have to fake it till you make it or pretend that there's nothing wrong with you. Being a role model for your kids does not mean that you need to be perfect. Okay. And if you're operating from that mindset, mama stop. Take a breather. Okay. Your child is not expecting perfection from you. I know that you want to give them your absolute best, but your best does not come from stress and frustration. A lot of moms think they're just a mom and that their influence on their kids is very minimal. But that is far from the truth. You are their first line of defense and how you show up as a role model is going to matter. So, how are you going to be a role model for your kids? Well, there's two things. The best way you can be a role model for your kids is by simply showing up. So be present and their life be present in the moment my friend show up. When you say you're going to show up and trust me, they are not expecting perfection, but your words, they do have value, but you get to decide how much value it has. What I mean by that is when you say you're going to show up to a school event, And you don't show up that is going to overtime, depreciate the value of your words. When you tell yourself you're going to show up and do something and your kids get to a phase in their life where they hear and understand what you're saying, but you don't show up. Your words, even though it has nothing to do with them and everything to do with your personal goals, your words are going to depreciate in value over time. And so it can lead to them not taking you seriously, or even you not taking yourself seriously. And we don't want that. Okay. We want your words to have weight to them. another great way to be a role model for your kids is to be willing to include them, communicate with them. My friend, whether it's working out growing your small business, or simply getting some house chores completed include them, it is so easy to want to keep your kids distracted while you go and work on a small task. so that they don't bother you or mess things up. It is also so easy to get caught up and the emotions of anger and frustration when they are with you trying to quote, help you. With the things that you are doing, because it might create more of a mess or prolong the time of you getting this task done. But when you include them, it honestly boosts their confidence. Because somewhere along the way, you're going to say, thank you for helping, or you're doing such a great job. And these praises are going to help them build that confidence that they would need to move forward in their life. Right. So it starts from a very young age and as moms, we all want more time with our kids. That is the number one thing. I hear so many moms telling me when I speak to them. They want more time with their kids? Well, I would encourage you. To include them because you get that time back by including them, even if laundry takes you maybe an hour to do, because you're constantly refolding what they're trying to fold or picking things up that they've now dragged across the floor. It's at the small moments where you get to recoup your time. So include your kid. It is going to be such a great way for you to be a role model to them because not only do they see you showing up, but they get to be a part of that as well. And the second reason that you need confidence is because it is going to help you be firm and your decision-making simply put yes. Means yes and no means no, you are setting boundaries on what is acceptable and what's not acceptable. This is not only for parenting, but also a great habit for you to start implementing in your daily routine or your goals. As I've been talking about all of this. What comes to mind is what Jesus says in Matthew. He says, let what you say be simply yes or no. Anything more than this comes from evil and the footnote on that particular verse says, or the evil one. I read from Matthew chapter five, verse 37, and I'm sharing this first with you because when I first read it, It hit me like a ton of bricks. It made me really reflect on the attitude that I had towards any promises that I made. I encourage you as you are journaling. I write down Matthew chapter five, verse 37, word for word and break it down so that you can have a better understanding of it. Not only that, but write out what sticks out to you and why. And if you have any questions, Write those questions down because it is going to encourage you to want to find the answer to them. Okay. Now when you're from and your decision-making, you start to eliminate the constant fear of thinking. That maybe you're making a mistake. It also eliminates you being stuck and the mindset cycle of second guessing yourself. I know you've done that before you have let the fear, thinking that you are making a mistake, stop you from doing something and, or you're stuck in the mindset cycle of second guessing yourself because you're unsure if this is the right thing to do. And it's stressful, but let's be honest. Nobody needs that added stress. But here is the truth for you. My friend, again, we are working on a mindset reset today, and this episode is packed full of hard truths you will eventually face a challenge that comes along with any decision that you make. No matter what it is, you will be challenged at some point. Sometimes it could be that it is very easy to fix. Other times it could be a challenge that is proving to be a little bit harder to get through. And that is okay. because that is why you go to God for these things. Being firm doesn't mean it protects you from realizing a mistake was made or that you're going to struggle. But it does give you the push that you need to move forward. And you're not going to let self-doubt stop you. Okay, mama, because we're going to be growing away from that We are working hard in 2000 to 25 to overcome self-doubt. And by the way, if you are someone who is new in your journey, you want to grow your faith, overcome self-doubt and how that sustainable. Confidence. I do have a free community for you to join. It's linked in the show notes. it is called building confidence through scripture for Christian moms. So if that sounds like something you want to be a part of. it's linked in the show notes for you, my friend. you can never really know when you'll be facing challenges that comes with the decision that you're making, but here's some tips that can help you be more firm in your decision making. And the first one is that you want to know what your values are. Okay. Be crystal clear in that you have to know what your values are in order for you to simply say yes or no. because when you do it is going to help you be firm in your decision making. And as you are about to say yes or no to something. Thinking about if, what you're about to do, aligns with what your values are, and also ask if it makes the most sense for this season in your life. Another thing you want to do is to follow through, you want to show up and complete the task that is needed over time. You realize you're going to start progressing and you're going to just start making strides towards a goal. And the last thing that I want to share with you is to know that nothing is perfect. This is for all of my mamas out here who are operating on the perfectionist mindset. Thinking that you have to have all your ducks in a row before you start something or that as you move towards a goal, that everything has to be perfect all the time. My friend, you must be willing to adjust accordingly as you continue to work through the challenges that follows with your decision every day, won't be the same. You'll have easier days and some days will be harder, but as long as you don't give up and you give intentional thoughts behind what you're doing and why you're doing it, I believe that you're going to start building these healthy habits that you're going to put in place. And that is going to help you thrive in 2025, as you work on overcoming self doubt. Now, I know we talked about a lot today. So. Remember that you want to be the role model for your kids. If you don't someone else, will your kids depend on you for guidance, security and nurturing. You're going to show up, be present with them. You're also going to include them and communicate with them so that you can. Build that loving relationship of communication and trust. You're also going to be firm and your decision-making. Okay. Be firm and your boundaries matter, Remember, as Jesus says, let what you say be simply yes or no. Anything more than this comes from evil. As you're working through being from your decision-making, you're going to eliminate the constant fear of thinking that you're making a mistake or get stuck in that mindset cycle of second guessing yourself. All right, you're going to do this by working on knowing what your values are. get crystal clear on that. Follow through with what you say you're going to do and be willing to adjust accordingly because remember life is not perfect. Nothing will be perfect. Having confidence does not be that you're showing off or that you're masking insecurities. Just be mindful of where your confidence comes from. The goal here is to overcome self-doubt and you only doubt yourself when you're lacking confidence in the unknown. And there is a lot of unknowns in life, right? Again, we don't know the future only God knows. And so we have to build our trust in him so that we can have that confidence that we need to move forward. So be comforted in knowing that God is above all things, my friend, and he knows all things. So while you might not know what is going to happen. You can trust God who says his words are true and trustworthy. And I know sometimes you can get in your own head and it can be hard, but my friend. You can do hard things. Hey girlfriend, if this episode encourages you to show up in confidence and finally start making moves to kick down to the curb, leave a five star written review on Apple podcast. It brings me so much joy hearing from you and allows the show to be seen by other mamas just like you. Thank you so much for being here today. I had a lot of fun. Sadly, this is where we part ways, but I look forward to seeing you again on Wednesday as we dive into another juicy topic. Go in peace.