99 | Stressed From Comparing Yourself To Other Moms? Find Peace Today With This Biblical Truth

Hey Girlfriend!

Let's talk about the stress that comes from comparing yourself to other moms—because, let's be honest, it's way too easy to get caught in that cycle! In today's episode, I  takes us on a deep dive into Matthew 6:19-24, offering a fresh, faith-based perspective that helps you shift your mindset and find true confidence in God. So, grab your Bible, journal, and something to write with—it's time to stop comparing and start thriving!

More FREE Resources:
Become a Restored Mind Insider: https://restoredmindllc.myflodesk.com/insider

FREE Community: https://bit.ly/buildingconfidenceforchristianmoms

Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/_therestoredmind

Work with me
Book your 1:1 call:- https://calendly.com/restoredmind

Ways You Can Give Back:

Leave A Review On Apple Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-restored-mind-faith-building-self-doubt/id1654768629


I'm excited to connect with you! Remember, you can do hard things!
"I can do all things through Him who strengthens me"- Philippians 4:13

Transcript

0:00

Today's conversation is going to be about comparison and how comparing yourself to other moms is actually driving up your stress level. That's right. It impacts how you show up as a mom. We're going to dive into scripture today to help flip our mindset so that we can have our eyes focused on God and have a changed heart. We're going to be at Matthew and I'm super excited to share with you some awesome encouragement as we dig into scripture together, it's going to help reset that mind and give you a different perspective to look at. So if you are stressing from. Comparing yourself to other moms feeling like you're not enough or don't have enough. This episode is for you. Hey mama. You're in the right place. If you're looking to overcome, self-doubt using scripture so that it can take root. In your mind and in your heart, it's time to finally have confidence that is going to last. Yes. Even through the hard times. My name is Caroline Thao. I am host of the restored mind and I'm also a Christian life and mindset coach. So grab your Bible, break out that journal and get something to write with because you are about to thrive. Ready? Let's go. Mom life can be so hard and it can be especially lonely at times. As a new mom, married to my best friend who just so happens to be married to his career. I was alone most of the time. And trust me, it didn't feel good, felt like, I didn't have anyone to talk to you or to grow with. But what I did learn in that season is that no matter what community is so incredibly important. And I just so happen to have a free community that I want to personally invite you to. It is easygoing. It has mamas, just like you who want to grow their faith to overcome. Self-doubt. They're searching for confidence and they're working hard at it. Come join us friend. It's called building confidence through scripture for Christian moms. I've linked it in the show notes for you and I can't wait to see you there. Mama. It's time for you to thrive in 2025. as you might already know, I didn't grow up in a Christian home and it might come as a surprise to some of you, especially if you're new here, but in my late teens and early twenties, I started really trying to get to know God more. I started going to church because I simply got curious about God. And honestly I wanted to know what more is there to life. You know, and. My husband and I dated. And when we finally got married, we were expecting our first and we decided that we would raise our children up to know God. Now that sounded like an awesome plan, but. The work is a lot harder than the plan itself because now we have to actually do the work. And for a long time, I had no idea where to start. So I ended up observing other mommas at church and in conversation. And the more that I saw their light shining, the more that I felt mine was diminishing. See, I didn't read the Bible as often. Nor did I know much about God in that season of my life. i was still very new in my faith and had no idea who he is or where to even start when it comes to raising our children up to know God, Then I found myself feeling all sorts of ways, but stressed was definitely one that stuck out to me, especially as I continued to compare myself to other moms who seem to just be thriving. I mean, they just knew what they were doing. At least it looks like that to me. And of course that brought on a cycle of negative thoughts. And before I knew it self-doubt has stuck again to putting me in a mindset spiral of negativity. As a matter of fact, one of our former pastors at a church that we used to attend. What tell us that we're doing a great job. but out of my own negative thoughts from comparing myself to other moms, I simply couldn't see it. see comparison breeds so much stress and negativity, especially when you use what other moms are doing to critique yourself. I think it's one thing to use comparison as motivation to help you with the next steps. But most moms are usually so overstimulated and so exhausted mentally. That they can easily fall prey to use a comparison to other moms as a way of putting themselves down. And they don't even realize it. I know I certainly didn't in that season of my life. Having this comparison mindset is when you constantly measure your own life, your achievements or qualities against others. So in regards to today's conversation, you're evaluating yourself based on how you measure up compared to other moms. The reason why you don't want to stay in that mindset is because it'll drift you further from God. At least it'll make you feel that way, because then you begin to decide what is good and what isn't, but it's actually, God's holy words like gives you the boundaries in which to operate. See, when I was comparing myself to other moms, I began to decide what was considered successful and what wasn't, It stopped being about raising my kids up to know God more. It became a competition between me and other moms and they didn't even know it. It became more about appearing to be put together as a family. In public and. Showing love and affection outside the home, more than inside the home. I had a conversation with a friend years ago and this conversation had absolutely nothing to do with my mothering journey. We were just talking about, ourself as wives when we were doing a Bible study together. she has shared with me that her husband asked her why her friends get the best of her. But he gets the worse and it made me stop and think about my own actions as well. I did end up asking myself the exact same question. Why does my kids and husband get the worst of me? While the world gets the best of me. I mean, if I were to truly show up confidently as a mom, I would need to reprioritize who I was serving. If I'm being really honest with you in the season, I was serving myself. I was serving the world. So, if I were to ask you right now, who you serve. what would you tell me? The world? Your family or God. This brings me to a passage in Matthew. I want to spend time reading with you and just diving deeper. Okay. The transformation is going to come from God. But I got you. If you're needing encouragement or just someone to read scripture with and just dig in a little bit deeper. I think this is going to be such an awesome session for us to spend time together and fellowship, especially with God at the center of this conversation. So it's going to be awesome. Also feel free to get that journal out and get something to write with. And as we are talking, just feel free to write down anything that comes to mind, write down the Bible verse that we're going to be in today. And write down any questions that you may have so that you can continue to explore it after today's conversation. Okay. Now if you are new and you feel overwhelmed when it comes to approaching the Bible, I have an episode just for you. Episode 93 is going to be where you want to start. So pause me if you have to go and take a listen to that episode and then come back, or if you want, you can just go ahead and listen to the rest of this episode and then go back and reference episode 93. Either way, it's going to be a good place for you to start. So I hope that you've had time to get your Bible and your journal along with something to write with, because we're about to get started. So, if you could turn to Matthew chapter six, we're going to start with verse 19. This is where Jesus talks about laying treasures in heaven. And the reason I brought your attention here is because it's going to be a great reminder of where your heart should be and highlight the importance of who you serve. So Matthew six, 19 to 24 reads do not lay up for yourselves, treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal for where your treasure is there. Your heart will be also, the eye is the lamp of the body. So if your eye is healthy, your whole body will be full of light. But if your eye is bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light in you is darkness. How great is the darkness. No one can serve two masters for either. He will hate one and love the other. Or he will be devoted to one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and money. And in the footnotes, on my version of the Bible that I'm reading, which is the English standard version, the footnote for money also says. In Greek mammon. Which is the word used in the king James version. So it says you can not serve God and mammon, and we're going to get into that as well. what I love about reading scripture is reflecting on it. So take a moment and write down anything that stuck out to you. As I was reading the passage, you can go ahead and pause me if you would like. There's so much to unpack here and I could probably sit down and dig into the meaning of the words and draw connections with you all day. I mean, honestly, This right here is what brings me so much joy. And I just feel like I'm getting fed as I continue to dig into God's. Holy words, and my friend. I hope it's the same for you that as you continue to just spend time with his word and spend time with God that you would be filled and it would satisfy you. Now I know we cant sit here all day and make connections and. Dig into words. Cause I know you've got other things to do. So, what I want to do is highlight a couple of things that are going to be in keeping with today's conversation. And the first thing I want to talk about is treasure. The word treasure is something that I think a lot of us can. Agree that when we think of treasure, we think of something that is valuable, right. Something that is worth a lot. And maybe even worth the hard work that you might be putting in to get this treasure. It can also mean that it is something that is coveted. And so when you think about what you want to achieve or you wish you had, when you comparing to other moms, what could that thing be? What is that thing that you're coveting. Is it her routine, her freedom, you know, is it. That she gets the help that you wish you had. Is it the confidence that she seemingly carries around with her? Maybe it could be the amount of friends she has surrounding her. Whatever it is. Those are things that could be coveted. And if I'm being really honest and vulnerable with you, my friend. All of these things I have at one point coveted seeing other moms. Thriving in these particular things as a mom, I desire to do have a constant routine. i was desire to have freedom so I could do other things. And then of course I felt bad for wanting to do other things, right. So it's a vicious cycle. So what is it that you wish that you had, or want to achieve as you're comparing yourself to other moms? And then think of that as a covet. And when you covet, it means to set the heart upon something. The word upon here is going to be used intensively or with passion. Like you really have a desire to have these things you desire earnestly. And I really like how Strong's concordance defines this as stresses the inward impulse rather than the object itself. Because if you think about it, what would happen if you got what that other mom has, what would happen? Would that be enough for you? Would you be satisfied for all of your days or would you eventually find yourself wanting more? I know. That most of you would say that you would eventually want more because I know that I would say I would eventually want more. The satisfaction that we get when we get something that we covered. It is so limiting. There is a shelf life to that, and it's not forever. And I think this is such a great opportunity to take a moment and write down self-reflecting questions. One of them being, what are some of the things that you are coveting right now that is not going to give you. A lasting satisfaction because the things that you desire earnestly or that you've covered the absolute most. When you get that. That lasting feel good, feeling the impulse of getting that is not going to bring you the steadfast joy and the confidence that you're searching for. And so it kind of flips the script on you, right? its like. Scriptures holding. A mirror to you. And encouraging you to choose God, to choose the word of God and to be in his presence, to choose him. So that being with him can transform your life in ways that you would never expect it. And so, yeah, I really like Strong's concordance definition and how it just brought out the idea or really the truth that we probably chase the impulse of getting something. Rather than truly appreciating. The reward at the end, even though our mind goes directly to the reward. Another reflection point that would make a really good journal prompt and just help you. Have a more intentional thought and gratitude towards what you have in front of you with your kids, the season that you're in and even with your spouse. Is to write down what you are grateful for. Not focusing on the things that you wish you had or the things that you want in your life and what you want to change. But rather, really, what are the things that you are grateful for? And it doesn't have to be anything that's really big and profound. It could be that you're going to find these wonderful treasures in your every day. Mundane routine. I really wanted to share that with you because it makes you think about. What you are coveting and it's also a really good encouragement for you to go back and, you know, really make a decision on what you consider as treasure. To lay for yourselves treasures in heaven, you have to let go of worldly mindedness. And that as it relates to today's conversation is the idea that you need more, that you're not enough because you're stuck in the comparison mindset. I mean, you're looking at this other mom and she just has herself together and you wonder. Dang. It must be nice to have that. And then you start to think about. What your life would be like in your mind, if you had that and it pulls you away from the reality of what is. And so when you look at your own reality, you kind of start to resent that, right? You start to think. Well, if I just had enough help, I could get this done. Or if my kids were just older. Then I wouldn't be in this stressful situation. And honestly, I'm speaking from experience because regrettably, I used to wish the years away with my kids. I used to say, I wish that they were at a such and such age because then I wouldn't have to be dealing with this and the messy things that I didn't want to deal with. Mamma. Those are the seasons that I absolutely miss the most. So I'm sharing this with you because I don't want you to be like me wishing and wasting time away when the true gift was right here this day, right. With your child. And so it left me feeling like I just wasn't enough or that I was always falling behind and looking at other moms. And it just, it was a very stressful situation. So let go of worldy mindedness, let go of the, of the idea that you think you'd need more of something or that you're not enough because you're doing a fantastic job. what are the treasures That God can give you that is going to transform your life because we're looking for this confidence that we want. Right. We want to show up with confidence, but the confidence that we typically find ourselves searching for. Is the confidence that's coming from the world, but when it comes from God. Our confidence. Is sustainable. It is constant. Why? Because God is constant. He stead fast. He doesn't change. And so when you start to build your confidence that comes from Christ, you know, that no matter what. You're going to be okay. And your confidence in that will not be shaken and the word service, Is another one that I want to highlight in today's conversation. I really like how Jesus says no one can serve two masters, And then he goes on to say, you can not serve God and money or as king James version. Like I said earlier, and the footnotes of the English standard version says mammon and mammon is a Syriac word that means gain. So you can not serve God and the worldly gains of whatever your mammon is because. It is whatever you desire. It is whatever you think is worth the gain. If you noticed and a couple verses above 25, Jesus talks about the eye being, the lamp of the body. Take note that the word eye is singular. not plural. He says the eye is the lamp of the body. This is said, very purposefully because it goes right into Jesus telling us that no one can serve two masters. It is an incredible reminder that to remove the comparison mindset, to start stepping away from that and not let it stress you out, not live in that mindset cycle of negativity of always comparing yourself and then putting yourself down. And the comparing yourself again, and then putting yourself down again. To step away from that. You have to stop and ask, what is it that is taking your attention away from God? Because he says that if your eye is healthy, your whole body will be full of light. And my friend. God is light. There is no darkness that can overcome him. Ever. So if your eye is healthy, then your body is full of light. And that light comes only from God and Jesus even tells the Pharisees later in Matthew 23, that the greatest commandment is to love the Lord. Your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. So. I think it's really. Awesome. How all of this is intertwined together. So as you work on removing the comparison mindset, keep in mind what you treasure and who you serve. I also encourage you to set your mind on things above start laying up treasures where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal you have everything you need. So take a deep breath. You're doing an awesome job, mama. Don't use what someone else is doing as a way to measure how well your doing. If anything, go to God first, open up the Bible and remember who you serve. Now, I know we talked about a lot today, so I just want you to recap and say that comparison is going to bring so much more stress into your life. And that is something that you don't need. Okay. I know you have a million other things going on as a mom of littles. As a mom navigating through different seasons as your kids are growing. So you don't need the added stress of comparison. All right. And we also looked at Matthew chapter six, verse 19 to 24. Where I highlighted the meaning of treasure and serve. So think about what you treasure and think about what you serve. And I know. That it can be so much harder to do in reality, especially with life going on, but trust me, it is so worth it. And as always, you can do hard things. Hi everybody if you liked this episode, leave my mommy. five star reveal on apple podcasts Thank you so much. have a nice day. All right. My friend, you heard her. Thank you so much for taking the time to leave that review on apple podcasts. It brings me so much joy hearing from you, sadly. This is where we part ways, but I can't wait to be back on Wednesday to have another wonderful conversation with you. My friend go in peace.