100 | Stop Searching For A Confidence Boost And Rewire Your Thoughts

Hey Mama!

In this episode, I’m excited to chat about the challenges of building lasting confidence. Today, is the day that we are making the change from self-confidence—where we often rely on our own skills and accomplishments—to a Christ-centered confidence that’s rooted in the steady, unshakable foundation of God's love. After all, He is our provider and sustainer -so why not lean into that? Let's get it! 

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"I can do all things through Him who strengthens me"- Philippians 4:13

Transcript

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If you're wondering why nothing is working for you after you've tried, what feels like everything to have the kind of confidence that just seems to stand out. This episode is for you because you were going to be talking about self-confidence and godly confidence. You're going to love it because it's going to be what you need to finally stop searching in Pinterest and Google for ways to get a confidence boost. It's time to stop all the chaos and start diving into the heart of what godly confidence is. Because once you rewire your thoughts around confidence, you're going to find that all the things you've Googled on how to get more confidence are really little embellishments on your self-care routine, but they aren't what makes up the foundation of your confidence, which is amazing because now you can finally breathe and say goodbye to endless scrolling and saving, and then feeling like you don't have the time that you're not enough or that you don't have enough. We're diving into all of that in more in today's episode. Hey mama. You're in the right place. If you're ready to stop with the endless cycle of feeling like you're not enough, you're ready to get the kind of confidence that is going to shine through all the seasons of what mom life looks like. and yes. It can get pretty messy. It's time to stop searching for confidence, boosters that are pretty much like knock off. Band-aids that doesn't stick. I know, you know what I'm talking about. My name is Caroline Tao. I'm host of the restored mind, and I'm also a Christian life. And my set coach. So grab your Bible, break out that journal and get something to write with because you are about to thrive. Connect with me even more. My friend, when you become a restored mind insider, it's going to benefit you so much. You get weekly newsletters for me, and I promise there's going to be no spamming ever. I know you dislike them because I dislike them. This newsletter is going to connect us even more because you're going to get to know me through my newsletters. You're going to get tips on how to build Christ centered confidence, which sounds amazing. Doesn't it. And whenever there's a special offer, you'll be the first to know it's like you have exclusive insider access. So head on over to bit dot ly forward slash restored mind insider. That's B I T dot L Y forward slash restored mind insider. I know as a mom, I can only imagine how busy you are. So to make it easier in case you aren't able to get to that link. Right? This instant, I have linked it in the show notes for you. No worries, girl. I got you. What do you think of when you hear the word confidence? What comes to mind? For me, it was the presence of wanting to show that I am strong. Bold and courageous. I wanted to exude the essence of confidence. Mainly so that I can hide the fact that I was insecure. I know it sounds silly. To say that I want to confidence to hide insecurity, but it was a true thing. Internally. I didn't have a lot of confidence and I doubted myself majority of the time and really anything that I did. I compared myself to others from a very young age and whenever, I thought that I got over it. I found myself struggling again. Whenever life threw curve balls at me, I realized that I would struggle with self doubt, which includes comparison. Fear. Identity not knowing who I am in Christ and what my purpose is along with so many other things that fall within the umbrella of self-doubt. So, as you can imagine when things were good, they were good. And then I found out I was going to be a mom and that threw a curve ball in my life, which put me in a spiral. I was probably one of the vainest person. Out there because my physical looks, it meant everything to me. My confidence came from myself. It was definitely placed in my looks. And yes, I know it sounds like such a vain thing to say, but this is the honest truth. So over the many years I got stuck in self-doubt and I kept trying to find ways to give myself a confidence booster only to find that nothing really worked. I tried everything and yet deep down, I still struggled. I was still dealing with self-doubt on many, many levels. And what I learned is that I needed something more and that's something more is God. See self-confidence is not sustainable. It doesn't sustain long-term. self-confidence is where you rely on your skills, your talents, and even your looks. That is going to give you a sense of empowerment to get you through these challenges. It's how you perceive yourself in certain skills and achievements. Now don't get me wrong. I'm not talking about arrogance, where you have a sense of inflation when it comes to self-importance. But self-confidence and itself. Is where you know, what your strengths are and what your limitations are. And most of the time you play to your strengths. So for example, if you are strong in finance, you know, you have no problem talking about finance Then you would be confident when someone comes to you with. Finance question, but if your limitation is in cooking, then you're probably not going to be volunteering, cooking lessons for someone that may be talking about how they want to improve a recipe, The reason why it doesn't sustain long-term is because there comes a point where you're going to come face to face with your limitations. Most people's initial instinct is to step away from that and say that it's not for them. But what do you do if you can't necessarily step away from your limitations? Say, for example, you're a new mom, right? You just found out that you're pregnant, you're expecting soon. And which, if that is you, congratulations by the way. And so excited for you. But yeah, if you are. You know, stepping into your limitations because you can't necessarily. Step away from it. What do you do? Because as a new mom, you don't really know what to expect. Or how you're going to prepare to adjust your life, to take care of your child. and yes, these skills are learned. I am sure as seasoned moms that are listening, all of you would agree with me that you learn as you go, because there is no manuscript that is going to tell you. How to do life as a mom, because life itself is so unexpected. However, there are many times that I know many of you are feeling alone in your journey as you go through these trial and errors of trying to adjust to the season that you are in. There could be times where you just feel like you're failing and it's exhausting. So when you rely on yourself for confidence, especially as you're navigating limitations. It. Becomes stressful. And this is where self doubt can root itself into your life. This is where you began to second, guess yourself, where you have imposter syndrome. And you begin to wonder if you're enough, or if you're doing enough. This is where mom guilt falls into place. And there's so much more that comes with it. It all stems from facing these challenges. Again, you can definitely work all these things and get better over time. But even as you're working through these things, you find yourself running into challenges. So, what do you do in this time? Well, the answer isn't to continue searching on Google or Pinterest for this confidence boost, because while they might feel good in the moment or help you find clarity on temporary things. It's not going to give you something that is sustainable. And this is where you want to rewire your thoughts on confidence What you want to do instead is build a God center, confidence or Christ centered confidence. Having Christ centered confidence means that you know who you are in him. You are not relying on your achievements, your skills, or anything else that comes from you to sustain you. That doesn't mean that you can't work towards improving these things, but you know, that doesn't make up who you are. Because, you know, who's, you are. You know, who you belong to. This is going to help you as you navigate your purpose in life as well. When you build Christ centered confidence, you are essentially recognizing that your worth is not based on what you achieve or how others may see you. And the reason why you want to build. Christ centered confidence is because you want to draw from a place that is constant. that way, when life throws curve balls at you, you're not going to be flying off the shelf with it. You'll have a sense of peace with that storm comes, which reminds me of a certain passage and the Bible. And if you're new here, I love to dig into scripture with you and bring out certain things that will hopefully give you new perspective. On your journey. Let's take a look at the Bible together. Specifically chapter eight and Matthew verse 23 to 27. I know I said that weird. So Matthew chapter eight, verse 23 to 27. And this is where Jesus calms the storm. It reads. and when he got into the boat, his disciples followed him and behold there rose a great storm on the sea. So that the boat was being swamped by the waves, but he was asleep and they went and woke him saying, save us, Lord. We are perishing. And he said to them, why are you afraid? Oh, you of little faith. Then he arose and rebuked the winds and the sea. And there was a great calm and the men marveled saying, what sort of man is this, that even winds and sea obey him? So, what I want you to do is take a few moments to write down what stuck out to you in these verses. If you want. Write down these verses. pause me. If you have to. Okay. So there are a few things I want to unpack here, but for the sake of time, I'm going to highlight one profound thing That is going to help you build a Christ centered confidence. So, what I really wanted to highlight is the fact that Jesus is asking his disciples. Why are you afraid of you have a little faith? So by this point, the storm has happened. The disciples are crying out, they're saying, Lord, save us. We are perishing. His response when he wakes up is why are you afraid? Oh, you of little faith. He doesn't even question their reason for waking him up, but. He questions them. About their fear and their lack of faith. And so it makes me think about how as moms, we can often do things or not do things out of fear and out of the self doubt that we have. See when you are faced with challenges, it is easy to get lost in your worries and your fears. And you can end up stressing yourself with these things that only is going to cause you poor stress. And oftentimes the cycle happens when you end up looking to yourself for the assurance or the confidence. That you can overcome these troubles. And that's not to say that you can't do it because you can't for certain overcome the troubles and the challenges that you have. But I believe that you need to have a sustainer who is going to calm the storm. And so you have to decide, you know, are you going to be that sustainer or are you going to be building confidence in Christ? That is going to be the one that sustains you. I really like Jesus's question. Why are you afraid of you? A little faith. fear has overcome them to the point where their faith is weakened. And it makes me think about how often as moms do we go through that, that we are so overcome by these thoughts of self doubt and worry and fear and stress that our faith has now become weakened. When he asked that question, it kind of makes you question yourself, you know, why am I afraid? And why do I have little faith, When you're searching for a confidence boost, the daily devotionals or these feel-good things that you do, it doesn't sustain you. Long-term because it's not going to help build up the weakned faith that you may be having, or the fear that may have overcome you, or the doubt that is now taking root in your life. So what I'm saying is that you want to build your faith. Okay. You want to build up your faith to the point that it is not going to be shaken. You want to build your trust and God and build your relationship with God so that you can have that Christ centered confidence. And I'm telling you, it's going to make a world of a difference when you start to do that. To do this. You can get to know him more, right. You can learn about God's character by reading the Bible, the number one way to know his good and trust by the word. And to get to know him is by reading the Bible. Whenever you read a verse, ask the question, what is this telling me about who God is? Don't focus on what he's doing, but who he is, what are the attributes that you see? What are the character traits that has been revealed to you? Those are going to be some really good. Things for you to look into and as you're writing it down, don't forget to write down what verse so that you could go back and reference it later, as you go back and look at your notes. Another way is to be consistent in prayer. Not only when you are troubled, but in times of celebration and in gratitude. Include God and all of it and all aspects of your life during your celebrations. When you are feeling grateful when you are grieving, when you're troubled. All of these things are such a wonderful gift because it highlights just how good God is in your life. That when you are troubled, you can still go to him. Or when there's joy and celebration, you can celebrate with him. These are amazing and beautiful things. And then finally, another way that you can continue to build your relationship with God and have this Christ centered confidence is to simply remove yourself from the pedestal. I know that sounds kind of silly, but. You want to start removing yourself and start replacing that with Jesus as the one that you go to and you know that he's going to sustain you. He is the living water. He is the bread of life, as we began to wrap up here, just want to give you a quick recap, We're moving away from self-confidence. Because it is not sustainable. This is where you rely on your skills and your talents to give you the sense of empowerment through all of the challenges that you're going to face. And the reason why you don't want to rely on self confidence, because there's going to come a point where you come face to face with your limitations that you just simply can't run away from. Instead you want to build your confidence in Christ. You want to have a Christ centered confidence. This means that you know who you are in him. You're not relying on your achievements. Your skills or anything else that comes from you to sustain you. You want to draw from a place that it's constant. Remember my friend, Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today and forever. You can find God's character in the verses that you've read through prayer and you can always go to him. I know that it can be so hard in the midst of you trying to rewire your thoughts to find. Godly confidence But my friend, I know that as you work through it, you're going to make so much progress. I know it's hard, but you can do hard things. Hi everybody if you liked this episode, leave my mommy. five star reveal on apple podcasts Thank you so much. have a nice day. All right. My friend, you heard her. Thank you so much for taking the time to leave that review on apple podcasts. It brings me so much joy hearing from you, sadly. This is where we part ways, but I can't wait to be back on Wednesday to have another wonderful conversation with you. My friend go in peace.