102 | The #1 Belief Stopping You From More Family Time

Hey Mama!

In today’s episode, we’re exploring the #1 belief that may be keeping you from spending more quality time with your family. I’ll share some simple mindset shifts to help you overcome this and build deeper, more meaningful connections with your loved ones, no matter the day of the week. Ready? Let's go!

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Transcript

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Today, we are going to be talking about the number one belief that is stopping you. From having more time with your family. I hear you say it all the time. If there was something that you can have more of, it would be more time with your kids more time with your husband generally, just more time. So today I've got to help you rewire your mind when it comes to spending more time with your family. That way you can have more time with them. Gone are the days where you're waiting for Thanksgiving and Christmas to spend this quality time with them. You, my friend are going to be able to have that any day of the week. So, if that sounds like something that you want right now. And you want that time back sooner than you think you could get it, keep listening because we're diving into all of that and more on today's episode. Hey mama. You're in the right place. If you're ready to get God sets her confidence and let go of doubt. It is time for you to shine through all the seasons at that mom life brings. And we know it brings a lot. Having unshakable confidence comes from an unshakable. God. So I invite you to come with me as we get to know him together. My name is Caroline Thao, your host for the restored mind. I'm also a Christian life and mindset. Coach my friend, grab your Bible. Breakout that journal and get something to write with because you are about to thrive. Ready? Let's go. Join the answers lists with the restored mine today. My friend. Yes. Today you get awesome perks like weekly newsletters tips on how to get more Christ centered confidence and to be the first to get exclusive access to special offers. I would love to help you grow even more in your faith journey as you learn how to build lasting confidence so that you can let go of whatever doubt is stopping you from moving forward. And to start living the life that you've always imagined. I promise mama. There's going to be no spamming ever coming from me. So you can be rest assured that when you joined the insider's list, you're getting all of the good stuff. I can't wait to connect with you even more to sign up today. Go to bit dot ly forward slash restored mind at, to sign up today to become an insider. That's B I T dot L Y forward slash restored mind. I've also linked it. And the. show notes for you for ease of access a case, you could get all of that or you could get to it right away because you have littles running around and your hands are full. Don't worry. I got you, mama. I think it's safe to say that weekends are days that many families look forward to because it's just the time where you gather. And you spend time with one another. This is where you are together, right? You go on adventures and whatever that looks like for you and your family. Let me know. Connect with me even more go and join my free community. Building confidence through scripture for Christian moms. I've linked it in the show notes for you. Let me know what you like to do. As a family on the weekend together, personally, for us, we love to go hiking. We love going to the park. We love being active as a family. Now there are days where we do like to have a lazy day where we just watch movies and graze on snacks and really just unwind. But most of the time you can catch my family and I outside doing something. Whether it's yard work going on high, going to the park, anything that gets our bodies moving. We're up for it. Now at what point I was a working mom and I've also had the privilege to be a stay at home mom, all of these years. And I truly believe that no matter where you are as a mom, you still have that desire to want to spend time with your family. And I'll give you an example. See as a working mom, I really did not like what I was doing because there was absolutely no work-life balance. I was working all of these. Mandatory over time and that eventually bled into what would have been my evening with my family. So there were many nights where I did come home and I wanted to spend time with my kids, but. They were getting ready for bed. So time with them was really short and the conversation, or at least the intentional conversation between my husband and I, that was also very limited because while we did speak. We both were also busy prepping for the following day. At just unwinding because we both had long days as well. And then as a stay at home, mom. I looked forward to the weekend because I knew that my husband was going to be home, that I could have a little bit more time to myself and decompress. And also I love being around my husband. I love that we are together as a family. It just makes the days together, feel more complete. And my home felt more homey I was thinking about this desire that we all have collectively to want more time with our family and it hit me. That there's this one belief that really stops all of us from having more time with our family. And the more that I thought about it and reflected back on the mindset and the attitude that I had in the seasons of my life as a working mom and a mom with toddlers, it really. Dawned on me that if I had made these mindset shifts, then I believe I would have been more satisfied or felt more satisfied in that season. So I'm going to share three things I would have done differently that would have given me the time back with my family. These mindset shifts will work for you. So whether you're a stay home mom or a working mom, I believe it's going to help you because it really is all about perspective and how you approach the situation. The false belief first and foremost is that you have to wait until the weekend to enjoy time with your family. This is the belief or really the subconscious thought that you have the quote freedom to make the most out of the weekend. And the reason why I say freedom is because usually the weekend is where your routine is more relaxed. It doesn't require you to get up by a certain time or go to bed by a certain time. Everything just feels more. At peace, it feels more calm. It's maybe not as rushed or as crazy now. Get it. Sometimes we do have to get up early. We do have to be on a routine on the weekend, but for most of us, the weekend is where we have the most freedom. And also the weekend is where most families are going to be spending time with one another, maybe, they'll go on a day trip or they'll take a weekend away And just create more memories. Essentially during the week it feels like you just don't have the same amount of time that you do on the weekend, which is kind of true, but here's some considerations for you to rewire in your mind so that you can begin to maximize time with your family. And it can be done as soon as today. So as long as you are willing to commit and willing to work on these mindset shifts, it's definitely going to be helping you because these three things are the things that I wish I would have done in the season of my life, where I really had this longing and this deep desire to have more time with my family. And the first. Point I'm going to make is to make the most out of the time that you have, you want to be intentional in the moment it's going to help you be fully present despite the day that you're having. So whether you're stressed out from work or you're just so frustrated, stay at home mom, because it really is just. One of those days. When you intentionally bring yourself to be in the moment, it changes your mood. And I get it. Frustration is part of any emotion that is in the moment, but it does not have to dictate how the rest of your night is going to go. but what you can do is pause, take a deep breath and think about. What you're about to say and what you're about to do, which I know in the moment of us being frustrated, it's hard to do that because you're just reacting to emotions. And I'm not telling you to bottle up your frustration, but I do think that. There is another way that we can outlet that. And that is to go to God. So if you have to take a deep breath before you walked through that door, after a long day of work, or if your house is messy, you. You know, let it stay messy for just a little while longer and just appreciate the people that are in your life. And here's the kicker. The day does not wait for you to be ready. It starts and stops as God commands it. So, how are you going to make the most out of the time that you have left with your family at the end of the day? I would say, be very intentional with the kind of conversations that you're having with your family. Something that I love to do with my kids is to ask them how their day was. Because it really does bring you into their world. And it really does open up multiple opportunities for you to have. Conversations that are going to be life-giving. They get a chance to express any frustrations that they may have at school with you. And that's always going to be a good thing because. You're building trust. You are building a bigger connection. See, I believe that when you say you want more time with your family, You're essentially saying you want a deeper, more meaningful connection with them. So yes. Have the conversation with your kids. Be very intentional as you're also speaking to your husband, it's very easy for us to write off the people that's important in our lives. To kind of halfway listen to them because they're always with us, but the way that you would get your time back to build this connection that you want. So you can have more time with your family. Is by being intentional and making the most out of the time that you have The second mindset shift is to stop complaining. About what needs to be done, and the reason why I say complaining is because when we gripe about the things that we have to do, it essentially sets us into a negative mindset and that automatically shows in our body language, but how we might be slouching over. Huffing and puffing or rolling our eyes back because we just simply don't want to do the task. So it essentially adds more stress that is already there. It creates a resisting mindset that it's going to make it harder for you to do the task. and I'm saying task as in like the work that actually needs to be done. And it's also going to keep you from being fully present with your family. Now it is so easy that as we are in this complaining mindset to kind of write everybody off, right. To be annoyed and ask why there's a mess there. And say out loud, like I'm always the one that's cleaning or doing the dishes, or nobody understands me because they're not the one doing this routine every single day. And yes, it does become hard. Sometimes it does become. Maybe in annoyance, But I want to remind you my friend, that the more that you complain, the more resentment is going to build, and it's going to feed the frustration that you have that can lead to anger. And it festers into this big ball of negativity, which is. The complete opposite of what we want. So if you catch yourself complaining, don't feel bad. Don't beat yourself up over it. There are many moms out there, including myself that has been in this place many times before. When you take a moment to pause, which is what I would urge you to do when you're finding yourself with this complaining mindset or this complaining heart is to go to the God and to bring it to him, present it to him as is. You are not hiding anything from him that he doesn't already know. So if you already in a complaining mindset, go to him first and thank him for who he is. Thank him for being your comfort and ask him to help remove that from you by replacing it with his peace, for his comfort and his love. Every good thing in your life has been given to you by God. Every good thing. These good things are not always easy, right? They do come with challenges. For example, your kids are such a wonderful gift from God, but they don't make life easy all the time. Some days are hard and that's okay. Because it really is part of the blessing. We ask for these gifts that God gives us. And when he does, sometimes it's packaged in a very pretty bow. And as soon as we unwrap it and we spend time with it, we realized, dang, this is a lot harder than I expected. I don't like these challenges and it makes it so easy for us to take this gift for granted. Other times when it's not packaged in a pretty bow, we're also reluctant to accept it. So we have to kind of take a moment to take a look at our heart posture. I know that's just an example with our kids, but it's really with everything with your home, with your husband, with your career, if you are a working mom, whatever it is, all of these things have been given to you by God. So I think that reflecting question here would be to ask, are you stewarding it well, When you refrain from complaining my friend, you'll be able to make the most out of the time that you have with your family. Because it keeps you from distancing yourself from them or from writing them off as someone who is creating a mess. But this reminds me also of Paul, as I'm thinking about it and how he asked God to remove the thorn from his side. This is in two Corinthians chapter 12. And I really like how God responds. He says. My grace is sufficient for you for my power is made perfect in weakness. And we know that when we are weak, God's power is going to come over us. and so the thought process might be. Well, does that mean that I'm always weak, you know, and the answer it would be. Yeah, because I can't do anything without him. And I think that that's true for all of us. We think that we want to be very stoic and strong in our situation, but without God, apart from him, we can do nothing. And so, I just think that it was such a beautiful reminder that when we stop complaining and we just accept. The thorn on that is at our side. It's such a beautiful thing because we know that God's grace is sufficient for us. it is enough for us to have this peace and calm. And it's such a beautiful reminder that. As we refrain, like I was saying earlier from complaining, then you get the most out of the time that you have with your family. The last mindset shift that I want to share with you is to really think about how it honestly is about quality over quantity. If time is short, my friend, you want to make the best of it. That's what I talked about at the first point of this conversation. The quality of conversation and the intention leaves a lasting and more satisfying fulfillment in your heart. Over a bunch of conversations or activities where you are absent-minded. Think about it. Have you ever had a conversation with your spouse or your kids where you were halfway listening because you were distracted with something else? And ever said that was the most satisfying conversation I have with this person. Probably not right. As you think about the kind of conversations you have that were very good, comes from when you are not distracted, it comes from when you are fully engulfed in that conversation or fully engulfed in that activity with someone, right. But when you stop to pay attention to be intentional with the conversation, Distraction-free or mostly distraction-free. And the reason why I say mostly is because if you are a parent, you know, that there's never really going to be a chance for you to have a conversation. That's 100% distraction-free. So. Mostly distraction-free I think is a more realistic way of putting that. The fulfillment that comes from the quality of the conversation, though, it does give you that. Satisfaction that you have more time with your family. So this, again, all of this can be practiced on any day of the week. It doesn't have to be on the weekend. Remember it is about building a connection. wanting more time with your family? But not creating the space for the quality conversation is actually going to defeat the purpose and it'll leave you feeling like you didn't have enough time with them. A great way to have a distraction free or mostly distraction free conversation or time with someone is to make it harder to get distracted. I know, it sounds kind of silly, but. If you make it harder to get distracted, then you are having to put effort to push that person aside or to push the moment aside. An example, that's coming to mind right now is your cell phone. It is the number one distraction. I personally believe. Anyway, it is the number one distraction that keeps us from being fully present, because there are so many things you can do while there. And so if you leave your phone in the kitchen, as you're having a conversation with your husband or your kids, you have to literally get up and walk away from them to get your phone, which they'll going to ask you yet. Your kids are going to ask you, like, where are you going? What are you doing? And it's going to automatically stop you in your tracks because now you have to make a decision. Are you going to continue to go to your phone? Or are you going to pause and divert your attention back onto this conversation or the activity that they want to do? And then say, for example, if your family is watching a movie, just put your phone in a different room so that you're not constantly checking it. When you get notifications that way you can be in the moment, enjoying the movie with your family. And it just makes for a great conversation later, too. When you talk about the movie. So as we wrap up today's conversation, I just want to recap, because I think that we've talked about a lot of good points today. About the number one belief of thinking that you have to wait until the weekend to enjoy your family because you absolutely do not. All of these things can be implemented any day of the week, you want to make the most out of the time that you have meaning you want to be intentional in the moment. It is going to help you be fully present and you can start it by starting your day with God being present in conversations, engaging in conversations. And then the second point that we talked about was to stop complaining about what needs to be done. I'm not saying this to be mean or about saying this to call you out or anything. I truly do believe that all of us find ourselves. In a complaining mindset and in a complaining heart, which only adds to the stress that is already existing. It creates a resisting mindset that is going to make it harder for you to take on a task or be fully present with your family. And that is defeating the purpose of wanting to spend more time with your family. So pause, take a deep breath. If you have to. And then the last thing we talked about is to really think about the quality over quantity. If your time is short, you really honestly want to make the best of it. Quality conversation and attention that leaves a lasting, more satisfying fulfillment in your heart. All right. My friends. I know that it can be hard, especially when you're in The thick of your routine during the week, but I know that as you make these mindset shift, it is going to change the way you look at how you spend time with your family. I know it can be hard on my friend, but you can do hard things. Hi everybody if you liked this episode, leave my mommy. five star reveal on apple podcasts Thank you so much. have a nice day. All right. My friend, you heard her. Thank you so much for taking the time to leave that review on apple podcasts. It brings me so much joy hearing from you, sadly. This is where we part ways, but I can't wait to be back on Wednesday to have another wonderful conversation with you. My friend go in peace.