103 | Setting Boundaries As A Mom With Biblical Confidence

Hey Mama!

In this episode, we dive into the powerful practice of setting healthy boundaries as a mom, and how it can help you grow in biblical confidence. If you're tired of feeling overwhelmed and stretched too thin, this episode is for you! I share personal insights and practical tips on how to say no without guilt, prioritize your time, and avoid burnout—while still honoring God and your family. Learn how setting boundaries can bring peace to your life, help you serve joyfully, and allow you to show up where you’re truly needed. Whether you're struggling with people-pleasing or simply want to be more intentional in your mom life, this episode will encourage you to take control of your time and embrace your role with confidence. Take a listen.

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Transcript

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In today's episode. We are going to be talking about setting boundaries. Yes, Mama, you have to set healthy boundaries. If you want to grow your faith and to be more intentional as a mom, you're going to absolutely love this episode because it's going to help you gain biblical confidence. And you're going to learn to let go of the guilt that comes with saying no, all of that and biblical on today's episode. Hey mama. You're in the right place. If you're ready to get God-centered confidence, it's time for you to shine through all the seasons that mom life brings. Having unshakeable confidence comes from an unshakeable. God, so let's get to know him together. My friend, my name is Caroline Thao. I am host for the restored mind. I am also a biblical confidence coach where I teach you how to get confidence through scripture. Let's start building that framework for you so that you can begin to thrive. Are you ready? Grab your Bible break out that journal and get something to write with. Let's go. I want to personally invite you. Yes. You into my free community. It's growing it filled with mamas, just like you who want to build confidence that last. Come and connect with me beyond the podcast and make new friends along the way. By free community is one of the ways that I help you grow God, centered confidence, because there are daily posts in that group that keeps you focused and challenges that are going to stretch you. So don't do this alone because you're not meant to. Come and join us at building confidence through scripture for Christian moms. I've linked it in the show notes for you for ease of access, friend, I can't wait to see you there. I don't know about you, but I used to be a people pleaser, someone who always said yes, because. I didn't want to disappoint anybody. And I also didn't want to disappoint myself. So I got stuck in the cycle of saying yes all the time. One are the places where I struggled to set boundaries was volunteering at church. I know it sounds so bad, but honestly that is where a lot of my saying yes or people pleasing happened. There were so many places outside of church where I struggled to say no. But church was definitely a learning curve for me, because there were so many things involved in that I struggled to say no with volunteering because I had mentioned it that I didn't want to disappoint anyone earlier, but. There was a, another layer to that. And it was the inner guilt, the inside guilt that I had, Which stemmed from the thought that if I didn't serve in the church I was going to somehow disappoint. God. I said it. I know it sounds silly, but that is truly what happened in my mind. It's so every time someone asked me if I could cover a weekend or spend extra time somewhere, I would just say yes, even if I knew that was going to set me back on the day that I had planned outside of what was already pre-planned. I had no idea how much that was actually going to affect me later on. You could say that I have little to no boundaries. And because of that, I got burned out. And then I didn't know how to voice that. So it was kind of a double-edged sword got burnt-out, I, didn't know how to voice it. And so it just continued to fester. Let me just clarify before I continue that I do believe that as someone who has a home church, there are certain responsibilities. To be proactive in the community, but I also think that there needs to be a healthy boundary or healthy balance so that you don't get burnt out and began to resent the people that you're serving or to simply lose the want and the excitement to be there and serve the community that you're in. So with that out of the way. Yes. I had absolutely no boundaries when it came to serving in the church. That was a mix of me not wanting to disappoint the people that I served with, but also it stemmed from the thought process that if I didn't show up, I was going to somehow disappoint God Now, with experience., I knew that serving was going to feel good afterwards and that people were going to benefit from that. In a way that was going to help them, however, When I did that, it actually cut into my schedule and all of the things that were already on my plate. Which made me feel extremely overwhelmed by all the other things that I had to do. Now you might not struggle setting boundaries when it comes to volunteering at a church like I did. But I still believe this episode is going to be incredibly helpful for you. in other areas of your life, where you're having trouble setting boundaries, especially as a mom. The more that I talked to. My mamas was the more I realized that they love serving and helping others just as much as they love. Nurturing their family and be there for their family. And so what often happens is they say yes to so many things and then they get stretched out. way too thin and it just feel like there's too much happening around them. But once you have these boundaries up and your firm on these boundaries, it is going to be so much easier for you to be in the places and the spaces that you want to be in that you would joyfully serve in. I'm going to share with you three very good reasons. why you should be setting boundaries. So consider them your mindset breakthrough. And the first one is that. when you set healthy boundaries, it is going to help you create a positive space for you to decompress. Everybody needs to decompress. It gives you time to withdraw. And decompressing is a really good thing because it keeps you from feeling overwhelmed from lashing, out on other people for being frustrated and just overstimulated. It's also going to. Relieve you of getting burnt out your mindset and attitude towards the thing that you're saying yes to is eventually going to become filled with resentment. If you do not set up healthy boundaries and it's going to ultimately feel like a chore, which we don't want to do, especially. When we want to serve with a joyful heart Creating a healthy boundary means you have to say no at times. Or at least respect the schedules that your family has. So a great way to do this is before you say yes. Think about what's coming up in your week. It's so easy to say yes. When someone comes up to you in person to ask if you're available to fill in for someone on a certain day, or if you're able to help them with something or be somewhere But before you say yes. Think about what's coming up in the week, Consider your family schedule. And the reason why I'm suggesting this is because it's going to help you pause for a moment and really think about where you want to show up and serve joyfully. I think that it's also a really good time for you to learn how to navigate through a conversation that might be. Intimidating in a way where you feel like you're being forced to say yes, because they're right there in front of you asking if you're able to help them. But., what I personally like to do is to let them know that I'm going to check in with my husband first. So. I can't give them an answer right away, but I would reach back out later in the day to let them know if I'm available or not. That way, it gives me time to think about where I want to show up that week. And the really cool thing about this is that when you do this, when you put this into practice, you are. Setting authority over your time. And you're letting the people know that your time is a valuable and precious and you want to protect it and use it with wisdom by serving God first, your family, and then other things afterwards. So yes, you want to make time for God. You want to make time to be there for your family. And then whatever's left over that. You're able to spare without getting burnt out. You are more than welcome. To put it wherever you want. Jesus has such a great example to look at because he is a wonderful leader in Matthew chapter 14, 23, Jesus dismisses the crowd after he's taught them. And he went up to the mountain to pray. We also see in Luke. That he went away by himself at night to pray. And it's just a wonderful example that it is such a good idea for us to set boundaries so that we can decompress and be silent with God. And be in his presence so that we don't become overwhelmed, but all the worldly things. The second reason to be setting boundaries is because it'll help you prioritize your time. Well, meaning it's going to teach you how to steward your time. That means you are in control of where you choose to show up? for the most part anyway, because life sometimes happens. I mean, it's happening all the time. I guess what I'm trying to say here is that life throws lemons at you and you might not be able to control. Where you're at in the day. And that's okay, because we are going to take it at face value for what it is and make the best of it. Maybe your child got sick and you're not able to go And be where you originally wanted to be. But let's also not forget that these things happen and it teaches us to slow down. And to love better. which we are going to touch on. in just a couple of minutes here. When you learn to say no and set these healthy boundaries, you are staying focused on the task that has been given you, you are stewarding your time. Well, everything that you do. Think of it as you going to work for God. So whether that's you're nurturing your kids at home. Discipling them working in your marriage, serving your family, volunteering, going to work, everything that you do, you're going to work for God. And that alone just levels up the sense of responsibility that has been given to you. So my friend steward your time. Well, by being intentional, when you're thinking about where you want to show up and work. It is so imperative. And I'm going to keep repeating myself in this episode that you set healthy boundaries The last point is probably my favorite one, because it was the biggest lesson I learned, which is it is going to teach you to love others. Well, Yes. I know it doesn't feel like it in the moment when you're setting boundaries. And you're saying no to the things that you don't quite want to commit yourself to because you want to show up in other places. It doesn't feel like you're loving them. Right. It feels like you've let them down that you've probably disappointed them. You're probably disappointing yourself as well. But my friend loving others well, does not always mean that you do everything for them. Even though that is how we want to show our love to them. We just simply cannot do everything for them or with them. This is a great opportunity to plug in a little side note. And that is just because you tell someone no. It doesn't mean you love them any less or that it's a no forever. Sometimes it just means a no for now, but like I said earlier, You have to steward your time. Well, and that comes with setting boundaries. When you set boundaries, you're telling the other person and even yourself, what your limits are. You are acknowledging what is okay. And what isn't. You are not being selfish. You're not being mean. You are simply prioritizing. You're keeping a healthy boundary so that you can show love. In a loving way without feeling overwhelmed and burned out, loving each other is often taken out of context in a way that means that we have to give, give, give, but let's change that. Let's change that mindset and make it a habit to be okay with saying no from time to time, as you are setting healthy boundaries. Because as a mom, it is in your nature to want to nurture your kids. it is your nature to want to build a home. That is comfortable and welcoming and inviting. And peaceful for your family. so as you are setting these boundaries and making these healthy habits become a thing for you. You're not loving anybody any less. As a matter of fact, you're actually protecting your peace of mind. You're protecting your kids because you're going to be there when you say you're going to be there. This is the perfect opportunity for me to inject some encouragement for you, mama. As you're setting up these boundaries, don't be afraid to say no. Yes. You might get some pushback from others who might be used to you say yes all of the time. But remember that when you start to say no, it is going to feel a little bit awkward at first, but it is also going to be such a game changer for you. I hope that you hear me. When I say this, you can still honor God. When you set boundaries, lasting confidence, doesn't come from what you can do. That is why it's so important for you to get out of the mindset or think that if you say no, you're letting others down. As a matter of fact, when you don't set boundaries at allows more distractions to come into your life and take up the space that you have in the day. And that is not the goal. All right. So to recap this episode, when you set boundaries, You get, God centered a confidence by creating positive space for you to decompress. It's going to give you time to withdraw and decompress, which is a good thing. Creating a healthy boundary means. You have to say no at times where respect the schedule that your family has, and yes, even you. A great way to do this is before you say yes. Think about what's coming up in your week and consider, saying no in that moment, even though you really want to say yes, I consider saying no, let them know that you'll check back in with them. If you can make that time commitment to be there. We also talked about how it was gonna help you prioritize. and steward your time. Well, you are in control when you choose to show up most of the time. When you learn to say no, and set healthy boundaries, you are staying focused on the task that has been given you and you steward your time. Well, by being intentional, when you're thinking about where you want to show up and where you want to work. and lastly, we touched on how it's going to teach you to love others. Well, loving others. Well, doesn't always mean that you do everything for them, right? It's not being selfish. You're not selfish when you say no, you're not being mean. You are simply prioritizing. Remember? No is not a no forever. It just means no for now. And so make it a habit to be okay with saying no from time to time. I know my friend. It can be hard, especially when you are a yes person, but my friend, you can do hard things. Hi everybody if you liked this episode, leave my mommy. a five star review on apple podcasts Thank you so much. have a nice day. All right. My friend, you heard her. Thank you so much for taking the time to leave that review on apple podcasts. It brings me so much joy hearing from you, sadly. This is where we part ways, but I can't wait to be back on Wednesday to have another wonderful conversation with you. My friend go in peace.