115 | Serving Your Family Or Just Surviving Motherhood? How To Shift From Complaints To Contentment

Hey Mama!

First, Happy Mother's Day! 💐 

Motherhood is full of repetitive tasks that can feel overwhelming and thankless—but what if your mindset could change everything? In this episode, we talk about how shifting from a complaining spirit to a grateful heart can transform your home, your mood, and your relationships. Ready to make that change? Let's do this!

3 Key Takeaways:

• How a complaining mindset can impact your home and heart
• The biblical purpose behind daily work and how to view it differently
• Practical ways to shift from frustration to gratitude in motherhood

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I'm excited to connect with you! Remember, you can do hard things!
"I can do all things through Him who strengthens me"- Philippians 4:13

Transcript

0:00

Do you ever find yourself snapping at your husband and your kids sighing and thinking, why am I the only one who sees this mess? You serve, you give and give, and underneath it all you're frustrated. Maybe even angry. And then comes the guilt. Today we're talking about the quiet struggle with constant complaining and the simple mindset shifts to make that lead to more peaceful, more joy and real freedom. If you're tired of resenting the work, you are not alone. Let's dive in. Hey mama. Are you tired of the constant mom guilt and wondering if you're really enough? You know God has called you for more, but peace feels like it's just out of reach. I'm Caroline Thao, host of the Restore Mind, and I'm so glad you're here. This is your safe space to trade, overwhelmed for confidence, guilt for grace, and step into the freedom God has for you. Ready? Let's do this. What if you didn't have to wrestle with mom guilt alone? Imagine a space where you can be real, grow deeper in your faith, laugh at the chaos of mom life and feel totally supported by other mamas who get it. Good news. You don't have to imagine it. It's already happening inside my free community. We're talking real conversations, fun challenges, lots of encouragement, and the kind of sisterhood that reminds you. You're never alone on this journey. These mamas are incredible and they're linking arms with God and other to walk in freedom, and there's a spot just for you. The link is waiting for you in the show notes. Come on. What are you waiting for? Grab your coffee or your cold leftover coffee. Trust me. No judgment here and come join us, Before we dive into this episode, I want to take a quick second to wish all of you mamas listening, a happy Mother's Day. I know it's only Wednesday and Mother's Day is a couple of days away, but I want to remind you right now that you are such an incredible mama and the love sacrifice and grace you pour out over your family every single day does not go unnoticed by your family or by God, even if it feels like it does. Now, I've shared this before on my podcast, but it feels especially fitting to say today, I never actually wanted to be a mom. I know if you're new here, it's probably a shock to you, but it's true. I never thought of myself as a mom growing up but thank goodness God doesn't always give us what we think we need because his way and his gifts. Far better than what we could ever imagine for ourselves, even when it doesn't feel like it at the time. See, motherhood has truly been one of the greatest gifts God has ever given me. But I'll be honest, I mean fully transparent. I didn't always see it that way. I used to view my role as a wife and mom through such a negative lens, and looking back, I find it a little ironic. Because as a little girl I dreamt about one day being married. You remember those days right, where you had your dollies or your stuffies lined up and everyone was present to this grand wedding that you had imagined? Well, when that finally happened for me, I had no idea how to sacrifice lovingly that mindset followed me into motherhood, and I complained a lot. At first, it was just internal, but eventually I got bolder and not in a good way. I began voicing my frustrations about cooking, about laundry, cleaning, and really everything in between. And let me tell you, complaining didn't make the workload any lighter. It made it heavier. Those honestly were not my best moments. But maybe you've been there too. Maybe you're in that space right now where the workload never ends and gratitude feels far away. You're tired and you're wondering if anyone really sees all that you do. If that's you, I want you to know I see you. Most importantly, God sees you. Let's talk about what happens when we let that complaining spirit take over, and how we can gently shift out of it and into something far more life giving. When I was in a complaining mindset, everything felt heavier and the task became longer. At first, it felt like a release, like I was venting out my frustrations and anger. But here's a couple of things it actually did. It made me. Resentful and bitter about what I was doing. It created tension in the household because I wasn't showing up with love or joy, and with the willingness to serve and nurture my family, I was showing up in frustration that made nobody in my house want to be around me. It was hard for my family to talk to me, and my kids would get nervous when they actually needed something from me. Imagine the feeling that washes over you. When you look at your kids and you know that they want something and when you ask them what it is that they're searching for, they're afraid to tell you because they're afraid they might make you upset. For me, that didn't feel good. I mean, being angry and complaining all the time didn't feel good, but then noticing that my family was nervous around me or. Scared to talk to me. That didn't feel good either. It actually made me feel incredibly bad and magnify the voice of mom guilt. It was hard. Complaining is a habit, and if you aren't mindful of where your thoughts go, when met with a task that you don't necessarily want to do, it can become a habit that repeats itself until it becomes a natural reaction. It will affect the atmosphere of your home, A complaining mindset will also start to trick you into thinking that you're the victim in your own life. And yes, that happens too. It's happened to me. It makes you think that you are a prisoner, chained to all of the chores, and you end up telling yourself something like, this is it. This is all I'm meant to do. And I don't have time for myself for anything ever. That probably sounds really familiar to you, and it leaves you feeling like you're being taken for granted or that you're trapped in whatever it is that you're feeling stuck in. So I challenge you to think about where your mindset is at when it comes to your daily tasks of motherhood. Think about where your thoughts go when you're working on your chores, serving your family and managing the home. Really think about all of it. If you are a stay at home mom, a work from home mom, or a working mom.'cause all of that plays a role in your heart posture and in your mind, which we'll talk about in just a second, because believe it or not, the way that you approach these tasks are going to set the tone and the pace for the entire household. So start paying attention to your internal dialogue, the things that you're really saying to yourself as you're met with these different tasks. Remember that God is in the midst of this messy moment. So go to him with gratitude. Be thankful that you get to do these things, even in the mundane tasks of your chores. See, complaining isn't just about dishes or endless laundry. It's a heart and mind issue. the attitude you have towards the work matters. When I was reflecting on my attitude towards my chores and duties as a wife and mom, I realized I wasn't seeing these gifts the way that God intended. I saw them as a burden, and yet I knew I wouldn't trade them for anything. Isn't that crazy? It's a little ironic, right? We love the gifts that we have, and yet we find ways to complain about them. And that's when it hit me. I was not taking into account my duties as a form of worship in a way to honor God, but as a burden. I saw work as punishment, and work was not meant to feel like a punishment. But that's how I felt when I was in a complaining mindset. If we go back to the beginning of the Bible, Adam was given work to do. In Genesis two 15, it says, the Lord God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and keep it. Now Let's take a moment to reflect on what work and keep means, because they play a role in how you and I as mamas can make this shift a more joy filled life in the duties that we have. Work as God intended is meant for us to prepare or tend to a task. Whereas keep means that we are to guard the work that has been assigned to us. So we are in charge of these things right in charge of the home that's been gifted to us no matter how big or small. So the question is, how well are you preparing or attending to the tasks in your home and how well are you guarding it? How are you guarding it? I think a great way to do that would be to not only. Pray over your family in your home, but to remember the task and to remember the Lord, and to do it in a more grateful attitude and fixing our heart posture and our mind towards the things that we do. it's in how we manage our routines and even our outlook on what we're doing. A great way to begin making the shift is by rethinking the way you view these mundane tasks that seems to never be finished. Think of them as an opportunity. If you're preparing dinner, for example, it is an opportunity for you to invite your children to come and help where conversations can spark and turn into a learning moment for them and for you. And instead of saying, I have to do this with a complaining mindset, replace that with an I get to do this attitude. We don't think about this often as mamas because we're bombarded with all of the things that we need to do, but this season of busyness won't last. And truth be told, you and I are going to miss it. Time is fleeting, so you can choose to spend that time stuck in frustration, complaining and grunting. Or you can begin to build habits that will imprint lasting positive and loving memories on your kids. The impact you make matters. Once you begin to make that shift, it's going to change everything and don't hear what I'm not saying. I'm not saying that you have to hold everything together and that you're not allowed to express how you're feeling or that you have to aim for perfection. Because that's not the answer either, mama. What I am suggesting is that you take a moment to reflect on how you can make changes and how you can begin to react that is going to create a more peaceful and welcoming atmosphere and environment for your family because there is absolutely a way that you can express how you're feeling without the tension and you can still be heard as well. once my heart posture and mindset changed, everything else began to shift. now the work didn't disappear, but the burden did, that feeling of being burdened by the workload absolutely disappeared. I was no longer wondering how much longer would I have to do these? Mundane, boring, never ending things. Instead, they simply became work that I was gladly doing because I knew it was serving my family. Now, did that make me want to always do the things? Absolutely not. I'm human too, and there are days where I just simply don't feel like starting a load of laundry or simply don't feel like cooking. Of course, those things still happen, but that looming. Heavy feeling that comes with the complaining mind when you don't want to do something that is not there anymore. So once you make the shift, the impact is going to help you see that you still have these tasks. They're not going to disappear, but it is going to feel a lot lighter. once you make that shift, the impact is going to help you see that you are no longer being ruled by overwhelm, anger, bitterness, or resentment. The grip that it has on you is going to loosen because you have invited God into the process by looking at your tasks as a gift from God. And like I mentioned earlier, gifts from God do not always come wrapped up in pretty packages, and that's okay because it's not about getting it all done, but about doing it with the willingness, comfort, and peace that the things you do provides for your family in a way that brings them comfort. A peaceful mindset. Leads to a more peaceful home. The atmosphere and tone within the family changes. And while it won't ever be perfect, you'll be glad you made the shift. You'll be more present with your family and more intentional in the moments that truly matter. And if we're being honest with each other, at the end of the day, that's truly all that we want. Now, I know I talked about a lot today. So to recap really quickly as you began to work on shifting that mindset, remember that the complaining spirit is only going to bring resentment and bitterness. We also talked about the shift that needs to happen in order for you to truly embrace the messy and mundane daily tasks. And then finally, we touched on how this would be such an incredible impact for you and your family. so this Mother's Day, if you're finding yourself constantly frustrated, and resentful towards your tasks, I hope this episode gave you new perspective that you can begin implementing into your life. It's hard to be positive all the time or to show up joyfully. Trust me, I get it. But. That doesn't mean that you can't be grateful and you are a wonderful mom who is absolutely doing her best. Your family might not always say thank you for the little things, but trust me, you are making a big difference in their life. So don't give up because you can do hard things. Thank you so much for hanging out with me today. I had such a wonderful time. I cannot wait to meet you again next Wednesday. Right here on this podcast. Mamma. I hope that as you are inspired and uplifted, that you would show up at all the spaces and places ready to serve with a joyful heart. And yes, with confidence. Please take a moment to leave a review on apple podcasts. It would bring me so much joy hearing from you on top of that. If you want to connect even more, join the insider's list. I would love to continue helping you as you journey on The link to join the insider's list is going to be posted in the show notes.. All right, my friend, this is where we part ways. I hope you have a wonderful day. Go in peace.