117 | What If You Love Your Body This Summer? Reclaim Your Confidence Through Faith

Hey Mama!

Do you ever feel guilty for caring about how you look—or frustrated by how your body has changed since becoming a mom? You’re not shallow. You’re not vain. You’re a mom navigating real changes with real emotions—and God sees you.

In this grace-filled episode, we’re having an honest conversation about body image, wardrobe stress, and identity for Christian moms. If you’ve ever stood in your closet feeling overwhelmed or looked in the mirror and felt discouraged, this episode is for you.

Key Takeaways:

• A biblical perspective on body image and why your worth isn’t tied to your reflection.
•  Encouragement for managing wardrobe struggles without shame.
•  Practical truth to help you trade mom guilt for confidence rooted in Christ.

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FREE Community: https://bit.ly/buildingconfidenceforchristianmoms

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I'm excited to connect with you! Remember, you can do hard things!
"I can do all things through Him who strengthens me"- Philippians 4:13

Transcript

0:01

The weather is warming up, and if you found yourself standing in front of your closet lately, overwhelmed by clothes that don't fit quite right or wondering when your body stopped feeling like yours, this episode is for you. We're talking about wardrobe struggles, and how to walk in confidence. Again, not by changing your size, but by anchoring your heart and mind in God's truth. Let's dive in..Hey mama. Are you tired of the constant mom guilt and wondering if you're really enough? You know God has called you for more, but peace feels like it's just out of reach. I'm Caroline Thao, host of the Restore Mind, and I'm so glad you're here. This is your safe space to trade, overwhelmed for confidence, guilt for grace, and step into the freedom God has for you. Ready? Let's do this. Looking for a place to grow your faith, build real friendships and be yourself without the pressure to be perfect. Yeah, me too. That's why I stopped searching and created it myself. Come join my free community. It's for Christian moms who are tired of the overwhelm it ready to trade pressure for peace if you're craving deeper faith, authentic connection, and practical encouragement for your motherhood journey. This is your space. You don't have to do this alone, mama. So let's grow together. The link to join is in the show notes. See you there. Before I had kids, I used to be confident in my appearance. I mean, I planned my outfits the night before and made sure I had matching shoes and accessories. Some days that meant taking everything out of the closet to find the perfect pairing of items to create the perfect outfit. Now, some would say that's a little excessive, and when I look back on those days, I can't help but think. Why? Why did I spend so much of my time pairing together items and wondering what my next outfit would be? Because I had this silly rule that I lived by, which was not to wear the same things the following week Because there had to be two weeks in between those outfits for me to wear it again. Yes. I know it's ridiculous. Right. But it was a rule that I just somehow lived by. On top of that, I wouldn't have dared to leave my place without makeup on, or at least popping my false lashes on. I was so addicted to false lashes that I had backups for my backups. Also, spring and summer were my favorite seasons because maxi dresses, sandals, and tank tops were some of my favorite pieces to wear. As you can probably tell, I had a lot of pride and confidence in this particular season of my life, but that all changed and flipped upside down after I had my first baby. And then more down the road, I started to feel like a complete stranger in my own body clothes that I once loved didn't fit right. I didn't have the time to create the perfect outfits anymore,, and my feet literally changed in size. I mean, I went from a size six to a seven, and I thought my feet was pretty narrow, But by that time I had my third child, my feet got a little bit wider, and so that was a whole journey on its own. In this season, I didn't know how to adjust. I didn't know this new version of me or even how to dress myself up in that time, and I thought that I had lost a piece of myself and there went my confidence. I also struggled to know God in this season because everything that once made me feel put together no longer worked. And in the absence of those things, I didn't know where my confidence came from anymore. I had wrapped so much of my identity and how I looked that when that changed. I felt un anchored. It wasn't until I started reframing my body image through the lens of faith that everything began to shift. So let's talk about the pressure that builds up around our bodies as mamas, pressure from society, from ourselves, and even sometimes from the people that are closest to us. I still remember the sting that I felt when a relative made a comment on my weight just three months postpartum after having my first child. I don't think that this person meant to hurt my feelings, but she also wasn't aware that I was going through so much hormonal changes. My body was trying to quote, bounce back, and ultimately her comment added more pressure for me to try and get back to my pre-pregnancy size.'cause I was actually searching for validation that I was doing something right in my physical appearance. So it wasn't her fault, Because it's not like I was shouting from the rooftop that I'm struggling and losing confidence in my physical appearance. So there is grace to be given there, And I'm sharing this portion of my story with you because these types of pressure, if you are not mindful and you end up anchoring yourself around the comments that are made, it is going to bring you a lot of stress. It leads to you believing that your worth is tied to how you look, the weight. That's on the scale and the size of your clothes that you once were compared to what you are now. It also breeds the comparison mindset where you begin to compare yourself to someone else making you feel even worse. But here is the truth, and I want you to hear me loud and clear when I say this. Your worth is not determined by what season you are in when it comes to your physical appearance. Your body will fluctuate and change over the years. Your worth is set by God, not by your physical appearance. A great way to begin releasing this pressure you might be feeling is by recognizing where it's coming from. So is it coming from a comparison mindset where you're mindlessly scrolling on social media and you're only paying attention to the mamas who look like they are their fittest? Is it a lie that you started believing? Is it the resistance of wanting to go up a size when you're shopping, whatever it is? When you begin to take into account where the pressure stems from, it can begin to make mindset shifts and also habit changes that will positively change your outlook. These habits, by the way, are not a miracle worker, so it's not gonna happen overnight, and I don't want you to go into making these habit changes. With that in mind, you want to be consistent in making these habit changes, whatever they look like. If it's not yet doing anything physical, it might be that you are going to start to remove the negative things that you say about yourself in your mind. Put something in the place of that as you're working on building these habits, that is going to help give you a more positive outlook. In the season. Again, this habit that you're working on, it is not an overnight fix, but there are plenty of grace to be given during this time because it is a process and it's going to take time to rewire your mind and make connections that will push you towards a more peaceful mind. And speaking of pressure, where is the first place this pressure shows up? I think most mamas can agree with me that it is our closet, right? How many of you have gone to your closet and stared at it thinking you don't have anything to wear, or you dread going to your closet? Because it reminds you of how much things have changed in the last couple of months. Maybe you're thinking nothing fits and it brings on this frustration that you have internally. Thoughts like this can be incredibly overwhelming and it ruins the will to get dressed for an event or even to run errands in whatever that looks like for you. I have been there and I know what that feels like, where you would rather just grab something that is comfortable and you're trying to hide. Yourself in these clothings but the desire, the want is to still feel put together. And even when you put something on that is comfortable and baggy or whatever that looks like for you, it still doesn't quite make you feel a hundred percent. But I want you to think about it like this. See, you are not the same woman you were before becoming a mom, Your body went through something amazing So give it time and be patient with the process of you trying to quote, bounce back from whatever pressures you're under. Also on top of that, your priorities have changed. Maybe you were able to spend a little bit more time putting yourself together and thinking about outfits, but you have littles now and your priorities have changed. It went from focusing on you to focusing onto your family. And you know what? That's okay. There is balance in all of this. And a little truth bomb here is that you might not 100% bounce back, and that is okay. Your body is going through changes and some of these changes can be permanent. Your closet does not define you. It also should not be where you. Anchor your confidence in, but I also understand the need and want to feel confident and comfortable in what you're wearing because it'll give you that boost of confidence or that pep in your step that you're looking for. You want to feel pulled together and put together. You wanna feel pretty. And beautiful, right? A good way to do that is by making space for what actually fits you right now, one of the biggest downfall for me was not knowing how to let go of old pieces. That doesn't serve me anymore. I kept thinking I needed to save it for when I go back to my pre-pregnancy size or for when I lose weight. And truth be told, when I did lose the weight, some of my old pieces still did not fit me, and here's why. As you have a baby, the baby sits in your belly right on top of your pelvis, and for me, my hips actually extended, and I was not able to fit into these clothes anymore. So it was very disheartening for me because I didn't know how to let these things go, but the reality was that I wasn't doing anything that would actually get me to where I wanted to be because I had an On again, off again fitness journey. I also had, changes within my body that didn't quite go back to my pre-pregnancy size, and that left me feeling even worse when months or years would go by, and these same pieces were still in my closet staring back at me every time I opened the door. It was always a looming thought in my mind that. I had when I would look at these pieces, and, you know, memories did appear in my mind of me wearing certain outfits and how I felt in them, and the thought of how I felt in them at the time would always come back and I would think I would never feel like this again. And that wasn't doing me any favors. And also, guess what? That created. It created a closet that was overly crowded, gave me pressure that I didn't want, and a false sense of reality, letting go of pieces that are not serving you in this moment. It is such a breath of fresh air, I'm telling you right now. 100%. It's a breath of fresh air. It creates space for newer items, removes the pressure of going back. To a certain size. And a little side note here, if you are working out or you might be trying to lose weight or whatever it is, your body might actually get bigger due to muscle growth. So that also might play a factor into why some of these old pieces that you're holding onto. Might not fit anymore. So let go of these pieces. Don't create more stress holding onto them that isn't working for you. You can save them if you want to. Like some of the pieces that maybe have a little bit more give to them, you can definitely save those. But you have to be the one to decide what pieces you're letting go of in your closet. Okay? But yes, when you let go of pieces that are not serving you anymore, just think of it as a weight that's been lifted off your shoulder. It is such a wonderful thing. Which brings me to the last point that I wanna talk about. I know I shared with you a tip on how to reframe your mind when it comes to your closet to give you more. Peace instead of panic. But I want you to remember to go back to your creator because true confidence doesn't come from a perfect body or perfect outfits. It comes from a changed heart and mind that knows she belongs to our father in heaven. So I want you to know without a shadow of a doubt that you belong to your father in heaven, and that is where your confidence should be anchored in. As a Christian mom, the goal is not to idolize your appearance or to ignore it because. That's not gonna help either, right? You want to steward well by anchoring your identity in Christ. I talked a little bit about stewarding in last week's episode, so I'll link that in the show notes for you in case you missed it. But when you put your confidence in the world or in your own flesh or your own body, it can shift depending on the season that you are in. And I can tell you from experience that when I was at my fittest, I had the utmost. True confidence. At least I thought it was true confidence, like my confidence meter was skyrocketing. And then after seeing my body and how it looked After having my babies, that was not the best feeling in the world. And my confidence shook. So even if you're not putting your confidence in the world and you're placing it on your physical appearance, it will shift depending on the season that your body is in, in that time. But when confidence is rooted in God, it's unshakeable. God does not ask you and I to be flawless. Right. We've already talked about this a couple of times on the podcast, and I will continue to drill it into your mind, and you're probably tired of me saying it, you do not need to be flawless and you do not need to be perfect. He actually tells us that we ought to be faithful and love him above all else. I think it's fitting to recognize, again, that feeling put together plays a role in your confidence. So it's not about being totally stuck on your appearance or completely ignoring it, because again, that's not helpful either. But Jesus tells us what the greatest commandment is, which is in Matthew 22. Jesus said, you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul, and with all your mind. So love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, and mind. And do you know how hard that is because you're wrestling with yourself chasing the perfect body. Chasing confidence that you want to have so badly that our mind and our heart is pulled one way and yet our soul is pulled another. It's. So mind blowing how we can be like this as moms and you know what, it's okay. It's normal. I think the challenge is that we're working through it and it's not going to be perfect. Right? But it does propose a challenge for you to check your heart and your mind and see where it's at. So this is the greatest in first commandment and then he goes on to say, this is the greatest in first commandment. And a second is like it. You shall love your neighbor as yourself. So how can you love God, your neighbor and yourself? Well first it hopes when you begin to understand the love of God, and you do this by spending time with him in His word, through gratitude and not only saying, Lord, thank you. I'm so grateful for my food today, but really putting a name to that right. Lord, thank you for this food. You are a wonderful provider. Thank you that you sustained me. He's a sustainer or provider. He's wonderful. Use these words to help you build a connection with God through learning about the attributes of him. What characters do you see in God as you are going back to gratitude. His love is different from ours Because he loves us beyond our physical appearance and our mistakes or flaws. We have a hard time loving ourselves at times because we get caught up in all of the things I talked about today and more. When you begin to shift and learn how to love out of his outpouring, it changes everything, including how you view yourself, especially when you begin to have intrusive thoughts surrounding your body image, When your appearance becomes an idol, that's when it consumes your thoughts or becomes a measure of your value. This is where things can get slippery because you'll fall into the comparison mindset and. Struggle with forgiving yourself for not quote, bouncing back as quickly as someone else might have. So yes, take care of yourself. Your body will change with different seasons, and that's okay. You don't have to go out and repurchase a whole new wardrobe or use workout as a way to punish yourself. I've been there too, but you can find ways to support yourself with grace. You can build your closet slowly as needed, and you can allow your body the grace to be in progress and not perfection. It's okay if your styles evolve or if some of the pieces no longer fit like they used to. That doesn't mean that you've failed. Do not let mom guilt or any type of doubt and guilt make you think otherwise. It just means that you're growing and yes, we can physically be growing. Mentally. You're growing as well, Which is amazing. And just like your faith, your journey, and your relationship with your body, it's going to take time. Patience and love as well. As you begin to learn to love yourself from a place of understanding God's love, you'll stop dressing to impress and start dressing from a place of peace. And I said earlier, we are to love God, our neighbor and ourself. I have found that most mamas can love. Neighbors well, but don't really know how to reciprocate that love to themself. And my challenge is, how would you love your neighbor better if you don't know how to love yourself? Because it's only from the outpouring of God's love that you would know how to love yourself. Therefore, because your cup is filled, you would then pour that out over someone. At least that's just my thinking, but it's something to give you, something to think about. Now, I know that we talked about a lot today, so let's take a moment to breathe and bring it all together because whether you're standing in front of your closet, unsure of what fits, feeling disconnected from your body, or just longing to feel like you again, I want you to remember this. Recognize the pressure and where it's coming from. Your worth is not in your weight or your wardrobe. Reframe your closet as a place of peace and not of panic. So let go of what no longer fits and make room for grace and newer items when needed or when necessary, and finally, come back to your creator. True confidence starts in your heart and in your mind. That's the transformation that is going to happen when you anchor yourself to him. It is not in the mirror or in your closet. It can be hard to love yourself and be at peace when you're thinking about your body image and how it's changed and it's so easy to pick at all of the flaws that you see. It's a lot harder to learn to love yourself in the way that God loves you, but I know and believe that you can do hard things. Thank you so much for hanging out with me today. I had such a wonderful time. I cannot wait to meet you again next Wednesday. Right here on this podcast. Mamma. I hope that as you are inspired and uplifted, that you would show up at all the spaces and places ready to serve with a joyful heart. And yes, with confidence. Please take a moment to leave a review on apple podcasts. It would bring me so much joy hearing from you If you want to connect even more, join the insider's list. I would love to continue helping you as you journey on the link to join the insider's list is going to be posted in the show notes.. All right, my friend, this is where we part ways. I hope you have a wonderful day. Go in peace.