118 | Can I Be A Good Mom And Build A Business? How To Let Go Of Guilt

Hey Mama!

Do you ever wonder if it’s wrong to want something beyond motherhood? Maybe you have a dream on your heart—a business idea, a creative passion, or a calling—and yet, you feel guilty for even thinking about it.

This episode is for the Christian mom who’s wrestling with the tension between being present at home and longing to pursue more. If you’ve ever searched “how to balance motherhood and calling”, “mom guilt”, or “can I be a good mom and still have dreams?”—you are not alone.

Key Takeaways:

• Why desiring more doesn’t make you ungrateful or less of a mom.
• How to let go of guilt and embrace biblical stewardship of your gifts.
• Simple habits to help you move forward with clarity and peace.

Plus: Get ready for the Grace Over Guilt Challenge kicking off June 9th! It's happening exclusively inside my FREE community. Click the link below to join us!

More FREE Resources:

FREE Community: https://bit.ly/buildingconfidenceforchristianmoms

Become a Restored Mind Insider: https://restoredmindllc.myflodesk.com/insider

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I'm excited to connect with you! Remember, you can do hard things!
"I can do all things through Him who strengthens me"- Philippians 4:13

Transcript

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You feel that nudge to start a small business, or maybe you already have one and your mind keeps telling you to do just one more thing. Then comes the guilt. When you try to slip away to finish that last task, you're torn because no matter what you choose, you second guess if you're honoring your role well, or if you are taking it for granted. If that's you, you are not alone. In this episode, we're talking about how to let go of guilt so you can move forward in faith, especially when you feel pulled between your big audacious dreams and your kids. Let's dive in..Hey mama. Are you tired of the constant mom guilt and wondering if you're really enough? You know God has called you for more, but peace feels like it's just out of reach. I'm Caroline Thao, host of the Restore Mind, and I'm so glad you're here. This is your safe space to trade, overwhelmed for confidence, guilt for grace, and step into the freedom God has for you. Ready? Let's do this. Today is such an exciting day because I get to officially invite you to something fun, simple, and powerful. To kick off this summer, I'm hosting the Grace over Guilt Challenge, a five day challenge happening inside my free online community starting June 9th. And I would love for you to join us As summer kicks off, I know you're craving more connection with your family, but also battling the pressure of all of the things like vacations to-do, lists your business dreams and the lingering mom guilt. That's why this challenge is here to help you. Let go of the overwhelm and choose grace over guilt. Every day for five days, you'll get a super simple but effective challenge, something that you can do on the go between popsicles and park days. These small steps will help you be more present with your family. Walk in confidence as a mom and faith-filled leader in your home. That sounds amazing, right? And even build a momentum in your business without the guilt, this is not just another thing on your plate. It's a breath of fresh air in the middle of your busy summer, or should I say the beginning of your busy summer. Mark your calendar for June 9th and go ahead and join the group now so that you can get settled in and meet the other amazing mamas that are joining us. So click on the link in the show notes to get you there, my friend. Let's kick off this summer with grace, presence, and purpose. I can't wait to see you there. As a little girl, I often heard the phrase, once you have a baby, your life is over. My parents said it to me more than once, and it was drilled into my mind. Now, they didn't mean that I would literally lose my life. They meant I would lose the freedom to go and do whatever I wanted when I wanted to be honest, it didn't really seem to bother me, so I wasn't worried about that phrase ever coming quote. Unquote true. I wanted to travel. I wanted to build a business, though I had no idea what kind I wanted to be established before even thinking about. Being a mom. to be honest with you, I never wanted to be a mom. I knew that I would eventually have this type of conversation with my future husband, but it was never really something that was on my list of things to do, but life did not go according to my plan. Yes, I did get married, but I became a mom way before I ever accomplished any of those dreams. And for a long time I struggled. I felt lost in my role. I didn't want to just be a stay at home mom. I had these big, audacious dreams, but I didn't know what they looked like, and I definitely didn't know how to make them happen. And the whole time there was this voice whispering, if you want more, are you being ungrateful? So let's talk about that question. Maybe no one has ever told you directly that you are ungrateful, but the guilt sure makes it feel that way, doesn't it? For a long time I believed the lie that if I wanted more, if I wanted to build a small business or pursue a dream, I wasn't a loving mom, that I was neglecting my kids, that I was being ungrateful for the gift of simply being able to stay at home with my children. But that belief came from honestly, nowhere specific. It was a lie that I internalized and I let it fester. I didn't talk about it with anyone. So it became a situation where it was me versus me, but here's what changed everything. I realized my desire to build something was not rebellion. It was actually an invitation. God gives us gifts, skills, talents, passions, and opportunities to partner with him using these things. Whether that looks like a small business or volunteering, you're not running away from your role as a mom. You're simply stepping into another role that he's equipped you for. The problem is the false sense of belief that motherhood should be your only source of or what you should only be focusing on. The reality is that you have these big dreams, you have these big passions that you want to pursue, and you're a mom. So don't let that hold you back. Your source of fulfillment comes from anchoring yourself in God and allowing that to be enough so that you can show up as a mom or as a small business owner, or even someone who volunteers with full confidence and joy without having mom guilt attached to you and friend, you and I both know we love our children deeply. We would not trade this role for anything, but that doesn't mean that it is the only way God wants to work through you or wants you to work for the kingdom of God. So if you're wondering, should I wait until my kids are older to start this dream? Let me encourage you. You don't have to choose one or the other. You can be a good mom and pursue this big audacious dream or this passion that you have instead of telling yourself, I'm selfish, or I'm not experienced enough, or I'm neglecting my kids and I'm wasting time if I don't focus on them while they're so young, I want you to start replacing those lies with truth, because you are a leader, you're a teacher, a student, and so much more. You're a leader because you're taking ownership and responsibility of all the good and bad that surrounds your small business or whatever passion it is that you're pursuing. You're a teacher because your kids are watching you navigate through these obstacles and challenges as you come up with solutions for them. You're letting them know that it is okay to mess up, and that teaches them to be confident in the way that they also navigate through their life, right? It teaches them that It's okay that we run into problems because we can always find a solution for it. We can always come up with something that is going to help us or. Maybe even teach us something along the way. And you are a student because you're constantly growing, learning and depending on God, which is amazing. You want to always be a student. At least that's just my personal opinion. You are showing your children how to pursue those purpose without giving up how to face struggles and keep going. So that's not neglect, that's actually discipleship. It is a wonderful way for you to serve as a mom and someone who is trying to grow a small business. It's not always easy, but as they're watching you, it's also teaching them. And as you do this, you're reframing what it means to steward both your family and your dreams. So let's talk about the word stewardship. Okay?'cause that word sometimes can get a little bit scary. But see, God has given you gifts, your time, talents, and even your challenges. Those are gifts as well. It's not always going to be wrapped up in a pretty bow and delivered to you on a beautiful bed of flowers. Sometimes it comes to you and lumps and you really don't know what to do with it except to try and work through it, right? See, stewardship simply means taking good care of what God has given you. I've used to think that success meant I would never fail, But God redefines success for me as faithfulness, showing up when things got hard, being consistent when I didn't want to do the mundane, everyday boring tasks when I was learning, growing, and learning to trust him instead of relying on my own strength. That includes the hard days. So the messy seasons that nobody wants to talk about, the very lonely seasons, the hard ones, the one that makes us cry in silent, the one that breaks our hearts, those are all included as well. And especially the times when you don't feel quote unquote qualified. Jesus is the perfect example of stewardship. He was present, purposeful, and obedient. He didn't rush to prove anything. And honestly we can follow his example. So here's something I wish I had known earlier. Are you ready for this? Mama? See, you don't have to earn the right to start or to pursue your big, audacious dream. God has given you the gifts and the desire to do these things, he's already entrusted you with the responsibility to use them. It's in how you are stewarding this opportunity. So let me ask you. What is stopping you? Are you waiting for the perfect moment when your house is quiet or when your to-do list finally becomes empty or when your confidence is high? Mama, if you do that, you're gonna be waiting forever. Perfection is not the goal. We are going for progress I have a friend who is in podcasting and I reached out to her expressing how I wanted to also start podcast. Now, keep in mind, she had already been podcasting for years before I ever jumped on and before I ever got a mic and decided to do this myself. So I shared with her how I was scared that I didn't have all the answers to what I was trying to do, and I was afraid that nobody would like me or that nobody would listen. I didn't want this to fail. So all of my fears came out in that conversation. And you know what she told me? She said, Caroline, things will get messy, but that's where growth happens. And then she reminded me that not everyone will agree with me, and that is okay, but if I was genuine and wanting to serve people well, I would eventually find my stride. So if you're scared, start small. Think about the vision that you want for your brand, or if you already have one, think about what you can do that is going to make the pressure of showing up in your small business. Less overwhelming. One of the things that I've learned was that I overthought everything. I can be an overthinker. I was thinking about what if I said this and then it offended someone? Or what if I titled my episode this particular way and it doesn't make sense to people? Well, all of that came true. So it's not that I purposely tried to confuse my audience or try to leave my family behind while I was trying to figure out my business life, right? It was all in the works and it got messy and it got scary because I didn't know what I was doing. And it was a learning moment for me. And I know that you're gonna have those too. So if you're scared, start small. And there was this phrase too, that I've heard one of my coaches say when I was working with her, I'd shared with her that I was. Scared to do this thing, which had a lot to do with fitness and absolutely nothing to do with starting a small business,. But it still is something that I think about even now. And she says, if you're scared to start, then start scared. And it encouraged me to not have everything figured out, to not try and aim for perfection or to overthink things, but to take it one baby step at a time. And it goes into what Solomon reminds us of in Ecclesiastes chapter nine, verse 10, which reads whatever your hands find to do, do it with your might. Where there is no work or thought or knowledge or wisdom in Sheol to which you are going, so whatever your hands find to do, do it with all your might, meaning all your effort, energy, and enthusiasm. I used to take offense to this verse, if I'm being completely honest with you.'cause I would read it thinking I'm just a mom. And that is such a cringey attitude to have, especially as someone who really wanted to be successful and pursue this big audacious dream that I had. But one day I was watching my kids stack blocks while we were in their toy room and they kept doing that over and over again. And no matter how many times the. Blocks fell. They still laughed and would say, let's do it again, until they had built the biggest tower with all of the blocks and then it hit me. They weren't discouraged by the fall of the blocks. They were determined to continue to build again and again. And you know what? The beautiful thing I witnessed that day was that as the tower got bigger, so did the goal.'cause it started off with just getting it up maybe three or four blocks. And then it was, well how much can we stack until the blocks fell? And then that went from, well, let's use all of the blocks and try to keep the blocks from falling. It was wonderful because eventually that happened that's when it hit me. Solomon was not trying to tell me to pick one or the other. He was saying, show up as a mom with enthusiasm, with energy, with intention. Show up as a small business owner with enthusiasm, with energy and intention. Do it with all your might. And you know what Admittingly I used to. Really not pay attention to the last portion of this verse, but it's also very important because it talks about how there is nothing, there is no work, no thoughts or knowledge or wisdom in Sheol to which you're going, which means that when you are no longer here on earth, the opportunity has passed, you don't get a second chance. To come back and try to redo the life that you want to have. And you know, if I'm being really honest with you, we don't think about that. We don't think about how it is such a message of urgency. So this verse helped me, and I hope that it helps you too. Not to discourage you that you have to be everywhere, all at once. But you are one person. You are a mom, you are a wife, you are someone who is. Purpose driven in a sense where you do want to start a small business and serve your local community, or maybe you are a working mom and you feel the guilt for always working and you feel like you're never home with your kids and you would love to spend that time with them. Take up every moment that you can and whatever your hands fine to do, do it with all of your might be intentional in all of the roles. You don't need a perfect plan to start. You just need to begin. So let go of the guilt, let go of perfection. Start where you are because you have been equipped and God has given you everything that you need for this particular season in your life and trust that God is with you in all of the roles that you are in. Your small business or your big passion. It is not a distraction from motherhood. It's a beautiful extension of how God wants to work through you in this season, so you're not being ungrateful. You are a steward. And you are doing better than you think. So as you navigate through this, as you are taking in what I'm saying, let's recap the conversation for today. We talked about how it's important that you change the narrative and replacing the lies with truth. Remember, you are not someone who is ungrateful. You are not someone who is selfish. You are a leader, a teacher, and a student. And feel free to add in whatever word. Relates to your situation right now. We also talked about how you are able to do both and still be a good mom. And then finally we talked about not aiming for perfection but stewardship and that is how well you take care of the gifts that God has given you. Don't waste the opportunity, mama. I know that it can be extremely hard when you're navigating through it, and maybe the lies have already rooted in your mind, so now you're trying to uproot them. It's going to take some time, and if you need help with that, I would love to help you. So reach out to me. I encourage you to check out my free online community where mama is just like you are moving forward and leaving mom guilt behind because we don't need that and our already stressful life. All right. I know it can be hard, but you can do hard things. Thank you so much for hanging out with me today. I had such a wonderful time. I cannot wait to meet you again next Wednesday. Right here on this podcast. Mamma. I hope that as you are inspired and uplifted, that you would show up at all the spaces and places ready to serve with a joyful heart. And yes, with confidence. Please take a moment to leave a review on apple podcasts. It would bring me so much joy hearing from you If you want to connect even more, join the insider's list. I would love to continue helping you as you journey on the link to join the insider's list is going to be posted in the show notes.. All right, my friend, this is where we part ways. I hope you have a wonderful day. Go in peace.