119 | Does Mom Guilt Ever Go Away? Honest Truth And A Biblical Way Foward

Hey Mama!

If you’ve ever wondered “Will I always feel this guilty as a mom?” — you’re not alone. In this episode we’re tackling the real, raw question every Christian mom asks at some point: Does mom guilt ever truly go away? From the newborn stage to launching a small business or simply trying to survive the dinner hour—guilt has a sneaky way of creeping in. But here’s the good news: while mom guilt might not disappear overnight, you don’t have to stay stuck in it.

Together, we’ll explore how God’s grace gives you permission to release unrealistic expectations, respond with gentleness, and finally experience the freedom you’ve been longing for.

Whether you're juggling motherhood, business, or just trying to be more present in your day, this episode is your invitation to trade guilt for God’s peace.

Key Takeaways:

•  Biblical mindset shift to help you respond to guilt with grace instead of frustration
•  Practical tools to help you be slow to anger and stay anchored when you’re feeling overwhelmed
•  A powerful reminder that your identity is not in your performance, but in Christ

If you’re a Christian mom navigating mom guilt, mental load, or mindset struggles—this episode will encourage your heart and mind to help you move forward with confidence.

🎧 Listen now for faith-filled encouragement, real-life strategies, and biblical truth to restore your mind and lighten the weight of mom guilt.

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I'm excited to connect with you! Remember, you can do hard things!
"I can do all things through Him who strengthens me"- Philippians 4:13

Transcript

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Does mom guilt ever go away? It's a question you've probably asked maybe in those quiet moments after snapping at your kids out of frustration, or when you're wrestling with whether or not you're doing a good enough job at pointing them to Jesus or when you feel torn between showing up fully for your family and your business. If you ever asked yourself this question and felt like no one's really talking about it, honestly, today is for you. We're talking about the guilt, the pressure, and that deep desire to get it all, quote unquote, right. Let's dive in..Hey mama. Are you tired of the constant mom guilt and wondering if you're really enough? You know God has called you for more, but peace feels like it's just out of reach. I'm Caroline Thao, host of the Restore Mind, and I'm so glad you're here. This is your safe space to trade, overwhelmed for confidence, guilt for grace, and step into the freedom God has for you. Ready? Let's do this. I have something fun, simple and powerful for you, mama To kick off Summer, I'm hosting the Grace Over Guilt Challenge, a five day challenge happening exclusively inside my free online community starting June 9th. And I would love for you to join us each day. You'll get one simple on the go Challenge designed to help you be more present with your family, lead with confidence and faith. And build momentum in your business without the guilt. Amazing, right? This isn't just another to-do list. It's a breath of fresh air as you kick off summer with your family. Mark a calendar for June 9th and click the link in the show notes to join the group and get settled in. Let's kick off summer with fun times and leave mom guilt behind. So if you're craving more grace and less pressure this summer, I want you to come join us. See you there. I was talking with a friend recently and we started sharing our experiences with mom, guilt, especially the kind that shows up when someone would say something like, you're doing such a great job, or You're such a great mom. Now we both admitted that while those words are encouraging, they often hit us at our quote unquote best moments. You know, the ones where people see from the outside. But deep down we both knew that that is not always the case or the full picture because, and I'm sure you've had days like this too, where we've had. Days where we lost control and dropped the ball, or we just didn't show up the way that we wanted to. At one point in the conversation she asked, does mom guilt ever go away? That question stuck with me because that conversation made me realize how many of us are silently carrying the same weight that mom guilt brings to us. It might not be always in the same thing,. But the overall weight that it bears down on us is really, really heavy. So let's walk through this together because while mom guilt might not disappear overnight, there are some things that you can do to loosen its grip.. So get ready to walk away with more peace and freedom. Now, you might be in the newborn stage as a mom, and if you're not, take yourself back to those days where you were wondering if you'll ever sleep again, or just trying to finish a sentence without a toddler interrupting. And also. Little side note here, the older that my kids got, the more I realized that the interrupting doesn't stop. So it is something that we are working on, That hasn't happened yet, but maybe one day it will. And maybe that's your life right now too. Where there is constant interruption, you can't really finish a sentence or even have a conversation without someone interrupting you. And you know what? It's just part of life right now and yet, so somehow you feel like you should be doing more in the midst of all of this. Guilt will form itself from one season to another. Making you think whatever you're doing is not enough. Especially if you're finally making the move to start your small business, but feeling guilty for not being fully present with your kids and family. Guilt can also make you feel like you're falling behind It all makes you feel like you're not good enough or you're not doing enough. It's hard to move forward with guilt constantly and silently nagging at you. Maybe you've tried suppressing that guilt, which led to you lashing out at your kids or even your husband. Maybe it's overcompensating, which led to you feeling overwhelmed and stressed At the end of the day, and example that I can give with overcompensating is that when I am trying to work on a project, I will let my kids just. Plug themselves in front of the iPad for a couple of hours. And then when I finished my project, I realized how much time has passed and how inactive my kids were. So now I feel like I have to do something fun and exciting. Maybe it's playing a game with them outside or taking them outta the house to get them moving. And by the time I come back, I'm just exhausted and I feel overwhelmed to the point where I don't really want to make dinner, and now I find myself struggling to figure out what is the quickest meal I can make in the shortest amount of time. These are very prominent, especially when I did not plan accordingly and found myself struggling to figure out what's for dinner, because we've had a long day of being on the iPad, so that was mentally draining. And now physically we've just got done playing a game outside, went to the park or went somewhere and. Everyone's hungry and tired. So those are some things that can happen, especially with guilt silently nagging at you. It comes in when you're working and when you are overcompensating. At least for me, overcompensating on doing something really big and physically draining that that also leads to guilt because then I'm thinking, well, I should have planned better. I should have had dinner. Ready to go. There's all of these things, right? All of these should haves and could haves, but I actually didn't do them. But here's something that I want to offer you as a mindset challenge. Suppressing the guilt and overcompensating are, while two examples that I've given you, there are other ways that guilt makes itself known into your life. And so this mindset challenge that I'm going to offer you is going to help you extend the grace that is needed when you are working on moving away from guilt so that you can begin living with peace. It comes from Romans one, eight, excuse me, I said that backwards. Romans. Eight one, which reads, there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. Condemnation means being judged and guilty and deserving of punishment, which here it does talk about the overall punishment of being eternally separated from God on Judgment Day. But this is actually incredibly encouraging because it points you back to Jesus and actually helps you break it down on a more micro level that relates to your daily life meaning he's already fulfilled the role of being perfect. So you don't have to do that. You don't need to be perfect. You get the chance to progress in your work or in motherhood or in your business or wherever else you're showing up. So in actuality, it's nothing that you've done but everything that Jesus has done and reminds you to give yourself more grace, Meaning guilt may show up, but it doesn't have to stay. There is a difference between conviction that leads to growth and how you lead and the transformation that happens in your life, and guilt that leads to shame, frustration, confusion and doubt, and so many other things, Picture mom guilt as an umbrella, and then all of the things that I just named are what falls underneath the umbrella of mom guilt. And one of the sneakiest ways that guilt shows up is actually after you've already reacted, you know the moment I'm talking about right? When you're overwhelmed, frustrated, and something just sets you off, you raise your voice, you sigh, or you snap at your kids and your husband, and then it just gets quiet because nobody really knows what to say anymore. That's when the guilt creeps in. You start to replay what you just said and how things played out, and now you're not only frustrated, but you're also disappointed in how you showed up in that moment. Maybe there's that instant thought of, I shouldn't have said what I said, or you feel bad, for the reaction that happened because you saw the look on your kid's face and. They're afraid to talk to you because you just snapped. I think as moms, we've all might have had that moment. I know I've had that moment plenty of times, and those were not my brightest moments. I did not feel my absolute best when those things happen. That's why one of the most powerful ways to fight guilt with grace is this be slow to frustration. Or as James chapter one, verse 19 and 20, reminds us to be quick to hear, slow to speak. Slow to anger for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God. I know it's easier said than done, right? When we're talking about being slow to anger. Especially when your to-do list is overflowing or when you're stretched thin and then something interrupts your flow for the day or even your week. But here's the thing, when you react in frustration or anger, you often miss the opportunity to connect or to teach or to even ask for help. And I can tell you right now, I have been there and I remember trying to squeeze a workout in when Aria, my oldest daughter, was just an infant, and she woke up from her nap to nurse. The thing is, I had planned my workouts around her nap time so that I could at least get an hour to stretch, warm up workout, and cool down. But there had been many days where these naps did not always last an hour, and she would wake up at times that I hadn't planned for. So that was a trigger for me to get upset in the middle of my workout whenever she would wake up to nurse So it brought on so much frustration and anger that I remember I was angry, texting my husband, venting to him about my frustrations of having to stop a workout to nurse my daughter and all of the things that I felt, I mean, I remember being. So angry that I felt guilty for being angry because she was just an infant. She had no control over what her body wanted, and she had no idea that I was working out either, it's not like she timed her nap to say, oh, mom is working out from this time to that time, so I should probably stay asleep Until then, that is not something that happened realistically. So. The guilt that washed over me just kept telling me how much of a selfish person I was and how much of a bad mom I was for having felt the anger and the frustration in those moments, and also my reaction and my attitude in that time too. Was built based off of me leading by my emotions of anger and frustration. But see, when I look back, that moment reminds me that being slow to frustration and anger doesn't mean that I shouldn't ever get upset because that's unrealistic too. It means slowing my response down long enough for grace to speak first. Remember, the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God, and I will tell you in those moments, I did not produce the righteousness of God because of how my attitude and my mindset was at the time. And honestly, those are not my brightest moments. I've had plenty of those that I will share with you as you get to know me on this podcast. So all of this leads me to the most important piece of this conversation today, which is if we want to walk in peace instead of guilt, we have to move according to something stronger than our feelings. We have to move according to. God's words and sometimes we as mamas, we can set unrealistic expectations for ourselves. We are either living up to what we see on social media or stuck in a comparison mindset that makes us think that we are constantly behind the curve. For some reason, when you create these unrealistic expectations or fall into the ones that the world has set around you, you end up chasing these impossible goals. The guilt will always follow afterwards as well. But when you follow God's truth, you can move forward in peace. When the day gets messy or when you miss the mark, it gives you the peace in knowing that you can still make changes right now that makes a difference in how mom guilt will affect you, and that's really powerful. It's so powerful that you can start this today. You can start. Making these changes in your life, building simple, small, easy habits that is going to remove the grip that mom guilt has on you so that you can finally move forward with peace and freedom, and knowing that wherever you show up, you're gonna show up with intention and it's no longer gonna take root in your mind. That is amazing, right?, One of the best ways I learned to love better was to understand love from the perspective of how God loves, not what I think it should be, or what I think it is, and that same method can be applied to how you learn. To give yourself grace during this season as you are working on extending yourself grace, instead of letting mom guilt take root in your mind and heart. A great way to do that is to build a relationship with God by knowing who he is through reading His word. Also, as you're reading his word, I would encourage you to be slow to anger and or offense whenever you come across a verse that speaks to you and makes you feel offended.'cause. I've done that. I've been there. I know what that's like when you read something and you just don't fully understand the context of it. So you take it at face value and sometimes it can bring a fence because it questions your behavior and challenges you to think about your mindset towards a certain something. When we take offense to frustration, it is an opportunity for you to sit and really think about why it is offending you. Maybe perhaps you'll realize that you didn't fully understand the context of what it's saying or. It's challenging you to think about your mindset towards what you already believe is to be true, and I think these are really good ways for you to also get to know God even though it doesn't feel good in the moments to be led to conviction or offense. As you're reading scripture, it is not meant to. Offend you constantly. I think it's such a great way for you to evaluate and grow. So take a moment to see him and linger at the attributes when you find it. I remember reading the beginning of Genesis with my kids a couple summers ago and my eyes were open to new attributes every time we would read together. It help me see more of the goodness of God rather than agreeing with what someone else was saying about God. Not that what they're saying is false or untrue in any way, but it was just a great way for me to personally witness who he is, especially when I lingered at his words, and I know the same is true for you. So when you linger at his words, it is such a great way for you to bear witness to who he is as well. So let's recap this conversation because there was so much that was said in it. The overall answer to, does mom guilt ever go away? Is that no mom guilt does not totally go away because every season will bring new challenges, but that doesn't mean that you're failing because we also talked about how you can learn to respond with gentleness and care about being slow to frustration or anger before the guilt takes over. And then finally, we touched on. How it is so important to move according to God's words because it moves you towards peace from mom guilt rather than being a prisoner of it. And I know that it can be incredibly hard to. Start quieting the voice of mom guilt as you're working through trying to let it go, right? Because when you fail, it just feels like you're never going to make the progress. But I promise you, mama, and I know that and believe that if you put your mind to it and you show up consistently to build these small habits and just make these small mindset shifts, that you are going to be able to finally quiet the voice of mom guilt and move forward in peace. I know it's hard. But you can do hard things. Thank you so much for hanging out with me today. I had such a wonderful time. I cannot wait to meet you again next Wednesday. Right here on this podcast. Mamma. I hope that as you are inspired and uplifted, that you would show up at all the spaces and places ready to serve with a joyful heart. And yes, with confidence. Please take a moment to leave a review on apple podcasts. It would bring me so much joy hearing from you If you want to connect even more, join the insider's list. I would love to continue helping you as you journey on the link to join the insider's list is going to be posted in the show notes.. All right, my friend, this is where we part ways. I hope you have a wonderful day. Go in peace.