120 | Still Chasing That Never-Ending To-Do List? Try This One Surprising Hack To Win Back Your Summer

Hey Mama!

Feeling overwhelmed by your to-do list and mom guilt creeping in this summer? You’re not alone! This episode is here to help you break free from the pressure of perfection and embrace a more peaceful, intentional season. 

Inside this episode, we’re talking about why doing less might just be your secret weapon to doing more—especially when it comes to being present with your family and building your small business (or pursuing your passions).

We’re diving into the biblical truth behind letting go of the unrealistic expectations we place on ourselves and how choosing peace over performance can transform your summer.

 3 Takeaways You’ll Love:

1. Perfectionism keeps you stuck – Learn how it fuels burnout and guilt, and what to do instead.
2. Choosing presence that leads to peace – Discover the power of leaving one thing undone (yes, on purpose!😬) to make space for what truly matters.
3. Small shifts that build lasting impact – Find out how one small mindset shift can help you enjoy your family, steward your business, and create more balance this summer.

**This episode is part of the “Grace Over Guilt” Challenge happening now inside our free community! Come join us for 5 days of simple, life-giving habits to kick off a summer filled with intention, joy, and presence—without the guilt.

 Tap the link in the show notes to join the challenge and let’s make this your most peaceful, purposeful summer yet!

Related Episodes:

118 | Can I Be A Good Mom And Build A Business? How To Let Go Of Guilt

113 | Feel Like You’re Failing as a Mom? You’re Not—Here’s What You Need to Hear

108 | Stuck And Stressed From Aiming For Perfection? What To Do Instead

More FREE Resources:

FREE Community: https://bit.ly/buildingconfidenceforchristianmoms

Become a Restored Mind Insider: https://restoredmindllc.myflodesk.com/insider

Work with me
Book your 1:1 call:- https://calendly.com/restoredmind

Ways You Can Give Back:

Leave A Review On Apple Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-restored-mind-faith-building-self-doubt/id1654768629


I'm excited to connect with you! Remember, you can do hard things!
"I can do all things through Him who strengthens me"- Philippians 4:13

Transcript

0:00

You're doing everything you can, keeping up with laundry, planning intentional time with your kids to make the most out of this summer. Maybe you're even squeezing in a little bit of time to work on your small business, and yet you still feel like there's a never ending to-do list. Sound familiar, that constant chasing for more time will leave you burnt out and disconnected from the things that matter most to you. I'm running a five day Grace over guilt challenge in my free online community that's happening right now, and today's episode gives you a behind the scenes look at day two of the challenge. So if you're ready to trade perfection for presence, and finally show up with peace while you're with your family and in your small business. This one is for you. Let's dive in..Hey mama. Are you tired of the constant mom guilt and wondering if you're really enough? You know God has called you for more, but peace feels like it's just out of reach. I'm Caroline Thao, host of the Restore Mind, and I'm so glad you're here. This is your safe space to trade, overwhelmed for confidence, guilt for grace, and step into the freedom God has for you. Ready? Let's do this. The Grace Over Guilt Challenge is happening right now exclusively in my free online community, and it's not too late for you to join us if you're tired of constantly second guessing yourself on if you're doing enough or wondering where your time should be spent and feeling guilty when you're doing it all. Or struggling to be present with your kids and in your small business. This challenge was made for you. Each day gives you one simple but effective way to help you ditch the overwhelm and move forward with peace. Whether you're with your family or working, you still have time to join us, and you can do that by clicking the link in the show notes to jump on in with myself and the incredible mamas in there. This is going to be the best summer yet, and I can't wait to do it alongside you. See you there. I used to believe that a good mom was someone who did it all without letting anything slip through the crack. I thought she had her home tidy. I mean, I think Pinterest worthy clean homemade meals, which, okay, I think I have that one checked off my list because I tend to enjoy cooking. So most of our meals are homemade. So I got that checked off my list, but then I thought she was crushing her goals, whether it was in fitness or in business, whatever she was doing, she was rocking it out with no flaws. Everything was perfect. So I chased those things and what actually ended up happening was. I became short tempered, resentful, and completely disconnected from the things that mattered most, which is the complete opposite of what I thought a good mom was. So there was a day where I realized I was actually missing out on the little moments with my kids because I honestly. Had just flipped out on them. I was yelling for some reason. I can't remember why, but I do remember myself feeling very guilty for the way that I acted in front of my kids. It was over something small, I'm sure, but that also made me realize that the more I would keep doing this, the less and less my kids would want me involved and their activities. Whether it was in drawing, coloring, reading, or playing with them, and I didn't want that because I wanted to be a mom that was present with them only. Everything that I was chasing after was producing the exact opposite effect of what I wanted. So I knew something had to change because I was exhausted. So I did the unthinkable. Well, at least to me, it felt like it was the unthinkable. I decided to leave one thing undone on purpose. I know you're thinking, what are you doing, lady? you're thinking that probably sounds insane because if you're just like me who has a list of things to do that seems to be never ending, seems like procrastination. Or maybe you automatically think you're gonna fall behind on your routine, right? It was actually a lot harder than I thought because the fear of failing or falling behind was eating away at me. That small act helped me realize that I wasn't failing or falling behind. I was actually creating space for what mattered most. So today I'll share three life-changing things. It's taught me that I wish I had known sooner. Starting with this, and that is perfectionism is going to keep you stuck. See, perfectionism tells you that if it's not all done perfectly, you're failing. It puts an immense amount of pressure on you to finish your to-do list. But let's face it, that's a lie that mom get whispers. It makes you think that it all has to get done or you're falling behind. When you continue to let the perfectionist mindset control your actions, it leads to burnout, to stress, and it keeps you disconnected from your family and the work that matters most to you. So let's talk about work.'cause I used to have such a horrible attitude when it came to work. I used to look at everything as an annoyance or honestly like an inconvenience to me. But if you really think about it, work is something that you do. Every single day. You can't escape it. Work is when you're washing the dishes, when you're cleaning, when you're organizing, even when you're spending time with your kids, that is still work. Now, that might be more enjoyable than say, doing the dishes, but at the end of the day, it's all work. So think about the kind of work that is going to be the most productive and what matters most to you. Then begin shifting your mindset around that perspective. Because no matter the season, there's always work to do, but the most important work isn't about finishing what's on your list. It's actually about being faithful and present in what matters most today. This is exactly what we dug into on day two of the Grace Over Guilt Challenge, letting go of the need to finish it all and learning to choose what matters with peace. So remember that aiming for perfection is going to lead to burnout. I mean, you want to aim for progress. I said this before on my podcast and I'll keep saying it again because it serves as a reminder for me and maybe for you as well. But aiming for perfection leads to burnout and adds more stress into your life, which we all know nobody wants, right? But. Aiming for progress is the goal because that is going to help you create these small wins. So I want you to try this. Choose one thing today to leave undone on purpose, and instead redirect that time to be fully present with your family or in your business this shift is going to help you become more intentional in your actions and remind you of what matters most. You actually get to focus on these things instead of other stuff that isn't as urgent in the moment. And I'll give you an example. There was a time where I was a beauty content creator and I was obsessed with lipsticks and nail polish, and to keep myself from doing the work that actually matters in the moment. I would go and reorganize my nail polish colors from anything that I can think of, whether it be by color, gradation, or the finishes of the polish. It was really something that. Didn't really need my attention because they were already on the shelf organized, and yet I still found time to go in there and mess with it and ignore the actual urgent tasks to be fully present. And then I would wonder where my time went. Right? So this challenge is a simple step that we're taking in day two of the Grace Over Guilt Challenge. And honestly, it's a game changer. Embracing imperfection is going to create presence for you, intentional presence. As a matter of fact, when you choose to leave one chore undone, you're actually making space for something better, which is peace and. Being intentionally present with your family or in your business. I mean, think about the piece that comes over you when you finally get to a place where if you know that something on your to-do list is incomplete, that you're gonna be okay, that the day is so gonna move on, and you realize that you actually spent more time with your family than you. Thought you would be able to. So that's amazing, right? Whether that's snuggling on the couch with your kids or slowing down for dinner. Maybe it's inviting your kids to join you in making dinner. And when my daughter's joining me, it's such a wonderful time because they are so curious about my childhood. They ask 1,000,001 questions about the dish that I'm making. And it sparks a conversation between us that I get to share a part of my history with them. Sometimes it's things that I've learned in the kitchen with my mom. Other times it's just me experimenting with ingredients just to see how a dish turns out and it. Sparks creativity in them as well. And it helps them learn how to navigate through the kitchen safely. So that's always fun. And it reminds me so much of a story in scripture that hits home for many mamas like us. And that story is of Martha and Mary. And I love how both Martha and Mary are so incredibly relatable to us mamas in their own way. And what I especially love is the reminder that we receive when reading this because it talks about what truly matters. This takes place in Luke chapter 10, verse 38 to 42. And yes, I'm going to read it with you. So mama, if you are able, pull out your Bible And turn to Luke chapter 10, verse 38. Or if you have the Bible on your phone you can pull that up too and just follow along with any version of the Bible that you have. I will be reading from the English standard version. So he starts off and says, now, as they went on their way, Jesus entered a village and a woman named Martha welcomed him into her house. And she had a sister called Mary who sat at the Lord's feet and listened to his teaching. But Martha was distracted with much serving and she went up to him and said, Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Tell her then to help me, but the Lord answered her. Martha. Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her. Now as I've read that, how many of you thought yourself to be more like Martha? Or maybe Mary, or maybe both and now you can see me, but I'm raising my hand for both because I'm a little bit of both right now in this season, to be completely honest with you. As I'm thinking about this and how it relates to me, that I really need to go back and be more like Mary instead of like Martha constantly on the go or trying to do something that is serving. I mean, our intentions are good, but sometimes we miss the point. But I wanna bring your attention to verse 42, which reads, but one thing is necessary because there's a footnote there that I wanna focus on. It says, some manuscripts says few things are necessary, or only one thing is necessary. And as I went back to read through that, I thought about how only one thing is necessary is actually sticking out to me. Because what that means to me is that there is only one, there's nothing else. Only one thing is necessary. And it reminded me that when you set out to do something, as Solomon says, do it with all your might. We talked about that in the previous episode, which I'll link in the show notes for you in case you missed it. It also reminded me not to forget our creator and the process of it, and the process of us serving, the process of us listening and being at the Lord's feet for us to remember God in all of it. See, the work that you're doing is not just busy work, though it can be if it becomes a distraction, even when the work feels like it's mundane or inconvenient, It's meant to bring us closer to God. I'm reminded how these inconvenient times should bring us back to the Lord with gratitude as part of our mindset and our attitude, there was a time where my oldest two were toddlers and they get ahold of Crayola markers. I found them in the bathtub and they were drawing all over it. It made me so mad because I was in the middle of making them lunch. Then I found this mess that I had to clean up, which I never thought that I would have to. I thought we had an understanding. That marker only goes on paper, but that didn't happen. And the mess that I cleaned up was not something that I ever planned to clean up or even had plans in that day to clean up. I thought we had an understanding, but you know, their kids and the understanding was short-lived. So I had that to clean up and it really frustrated me. But. It made me realize that I missed an opportunity for this to be a learning moment, meaning reiterating what we don't do and also teaching them how to clean up messes that are made. Right. But I didn't do that in my younger mind. I was. Probably in my early to mid twenties when this happened. Very short tempered. Again, chasing that good mom idea, that perfectionist mom mindset. So yes, your to-do list might feel like it's never ending, and you might find yourself constantly on the go so that you can finally get to the end of that list. But as I hinted earlier on in this episode, the truth is that the list doesn't end. I mean, we are mamas. The work doesn't end, and that's not to overwhelm you with that thought, but truly to bring you back to the Lord and remembrance of him that. The work doesn't end, and that is a blessing. Even though we have seasons as moms, the seasons are short-lived. Time goes by so fast with our kids, so now it's a matter of learning how you work through that without feeling the overwhelm. And I just have to say very quickly that leaving something undone does not mean that you're being lazy. You're procrastinating or falling behind. It means that you're being intentional and yes, it's going to stretch you, it's going to challenge you and your mind, but this is where growth happens. So I always suggest starting small with something that feels manageable. So I wouldn't suggest something that is urgent and pressing that needs your attention right away. So maybe this small, manageable thing is letting the dishes sit in the sink until after movie night. If your family has movie night or maybe. It's starting your morning a little bit later so that you can get more snuggles in. I mean, if you think about it,, the older that they get, how many times have we said as moms that we wish we held our babies a little bit longer? This would be the perfect moment to do that. When you stop chasing for more time to do all the things on your to-do list, your day, essentially it feels lighter, it feels more complete. You start to enjoy the work that you're doing. So these mundane things, everyday daily tasks, you start to find joy in them and they're not as. Hard or as daunting as they may seem. So that could be in how you are parenting or maybe in your business. But the reason why that happens is because now finally, your heart is in the work. Your mind is also present, and you're not just going through the motions or doing the tasks with frustration and anger, but you're intentionally putting time into it. So here's what I want you to try. Pick one non-essential task to skip today, and if the entire day is really daunting, think about putting it off for a little while longer. Maybe that's something like folding the laundry, maybe it's wiping the counters down, unless that needs your urgent attention right away. But just start small And instead refocus your attention. Maybe read a book with your child or go on a walk with your kids. There's a couple of games that we used to play on our walks. We used to play, I Spy on our walks and we would laugh about the silliest things or even look for the silliest things, like maybe our neighbor had a funky mailbox color or a certain decoration on it. Maybe it was giant inflatables during the holiday season or in the summertime when our neighbors had their summer decorations up. We would spy those things and talk about the colors. So maybe it was a. Giant pink flamingo. We would say, I spy something pink, or I spy a flamingo. My daughter loves animals. She would always spy birds. Or squirrels or maybe even bunnies if we walked early enough in the morning where they were out and eating the grass on the lawn. But it was so fun because it made our walks a lot shorter, and it was a great conversation for us to have. We also play Follow the Leader where the kids got to go at their own pace in any direction that they wanted. Of course, with safety in mind. Luckily we were in a neighborhood where the drivers were very, very careful and would look out for kids as they're driving But still, it was just really fun. I mean, my kids would go in all sorts of directions. They went fast and zigzags slow in circles or just hopping like a bunny. And we would just hop along with them And it actually gave them a chance to test their leadership skills. They had the opportunity to go really fast and leave everyone behind or to slow down until everyone caught up. And they cheered each other on. So it was really cool to see that happen as well. And honestly, this was a great way to spark conversation about what makes a great leader or, talk about what their limitations were and how we can improve and all of the things. It was just really fun and intentional. Which is what this is all about, right? It's about being intentional with that pocket of time that you have. And here's what's amazing. When you stop trying to overcompensate and instead focus on those small present moments, you start to build something even better. And that's what led to the final mindset shift that I wanna share with you and that is taking the small step towards being more present and intentional. It builds habits of peace and clarity. So it's about being present, not perfect. It gives you a sense of balance that is going to help you feel more productive in your day. It helps with the mindset shift that it's not always about being on the go or chasing the list of chores that you have on your never ending to-do list. It's about finally believing and knowing that your rest, the time that you have, especially now that it's summer and progress that you're making are a form of success. Imagine the summer being filled with intentional moments where you get to make memories with your kids. And still carve out time to work on your small business. You are making progress and you're winning at it because you're not burnt out. You're not worried that you're failing or falling behind. You're not relying on the quote unquote perfect moment to do something. Instead, you're living and doing life. You're rolling with the punches with your family while serving others and your small business. so celebrate the small wins that you get because these small wins are going to shape your summer and make it the best one yet. All right. So I know we talked about a lot today, mama, and I'm just gonna recap really quickly, but. as you began to take on this challenge of letting one thing go undone for the day or maybe a couple of hours. But letting go of perfection does not mean that you are giving up excellence because first of all, you're doing the best that you can and it means. You're actually choosing to be intentional over the pressure that you put on yourself. And leaving one thing undone gives you space for what matters, right? We're talking about being, intentionally present and not focusing on the actual performance of trying to get everything done perfectly. Now, don't forget those small wins. We did talk about them, and I want you to celebrate those small wins because in actuality, they're not small at all. They're shaping your summer and you're getting the peace that you've been searching for, which is amazing, All right, mama. So if this episode spoke into you and you are interested in joining the Grace Over Guilt Challenge, it is still happening inside my free online community. So if you wanna jump in, it's not too late. It's going to continue from today through June 13th to join me and The Incredible Mamas. Simply click the link in the show notes to join us. Let's create the most memorable summer. Yet without the frustration, without the overwhelm, we can do it together. One simple but effective habit change at a time. I know it's hard, but you can do hard things. Thank you so much for hanging out with me today. I had such a wonderful time. I cannot wait to meet you again next Wednesday. Right here on this podcast. Mamma. I hope that as you are inspired and uplifted, that you would show up at all the spaces and places ready to serve with a joyful heart. And yes, with confidence. Please take a moment to leave a review on apple podcasts. It would bring me so much joy hearing from you If you want to connect even more, join the insider's list. I would love to continue helping you as you journey on the link to join the insider's list is going to be posted in the show notes.. All right, my friend, this is where we part ways. I hope you have a wonderful day. Go in peace.