123 | The Lie Christian Moms Believe About Leadership That’s Keeping You Stuck

Hey Mama!

Have you ever felt like everything you do as a mom is invisible—but still wonder if it matters?

In this episode of The Restored Mind Podcast, we’re flipping the script on what leadership truly means from a biblical perspective. You’ll discover how your daily acts of faithfulness, service, and love are not only seen by God—but they’re shaping lives in the most impactful way.

Whether you feel invisible in your daily routine or you’ve downplayed your influence as “just a mom,” this episode will equip you with biblical truth, a powerful mindset shift, and encouragement to help you take on your leadership role every day with confidence!

✨ Key Takeaways:

• Why true leadership doesn’t require a title—just faithfulness
  (and how motherhood is one of the most powerful forms of stewardship)
• How Jesus redefined leadership through service
  and how that same heart posture can transform the way you show up in your home
• Why your influence matters more than you realize
  and how your presence, patience, and persistence are teaching your children what love really looks like

More FREE Resources:

FREE Community: https://bit.ly/buildingconfidenceforchristianmoms

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Email: Hello@restoredmindllc.com

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Ways You Can Give Back:

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I'm excited to connect with you! Remember, you can do hard things!
"I can do all things through Him who strengthens me"- Philippians 4:13

Transcript

0:01

What comes to mind when you hear the word leader? Is this someone who is giving a boardroom presentation or someone wiping boogers while their toddler is trying to dodge the tissue? What if I said, leadership is not what you've been taught to think it is in today's episode, we're talking about how looking at motherhood through the lens of quiet, powerful leadership matters more than you think. Let's dive in..Hey mama. Are you tired of the constant mom guilt and wondering if you're really enough? You know God has called you for more, but peace feels like it's just out of reach. I'm Caroline Thao, host of the Restore Mind, and I'm so glad you're here. This is your safe space to trade, overwhelmed for confidence, guilt for grace, and step into the freedom God has for you. Ready? Let's do this. Have you ever wanted to connect even more outside of the podcast? Where you can engage with me a little bit more and send me a message just to say hello or share your thoughts on a particular episode. Maybe you even want to leave a compliment or ask a question. Well, guess what? Now you can, I have this fun way for you to engage with me which is linked at the top of the show notes. So simply tap or click on that link and leave me a message, whether it be something fun or maybe a question that you have that I might be able to help you with and I might even read it on air. So this is gonna be really fun. I'm excited to have this new feature here on the podcast, and I hope to hear from you soon. The first note I've received is from Serena in Jacksonville, and she writes. I absolutely loved this episode. It really hit home talking about the never ending to-do list. I feel so inspired to do less because doing more doesn't seem to be working. Your podcast is exactly what I need to take a break and refocus my day being more intentional. Keep up the amazing work. You have a new listener for sure. Well, Serena, thank you for writing in and welcome to the Restored Mind family. I hope that as you journey on through with the restored mind, that you would be encouraged, inspired, and uplifted. So if any of you mamas listening out there, want to leave a quick note for me or even have a question that might be on a future episode, I would love to hear from you. Click on that link and send me a note. Okay. I have to admit, I never really saw myself as a leader in high school. I joined a club called FBLA, which is known as Future Business Leaders of America. And honestly, I'm not even sure if that club still exists, but if it does, let me know by either leaving a note or letting me know in my free online community because I joined FBLA so that I could learn how to lead, how to climb the corporate ladder and maybe even wear a powerful suit one day, giving an important board meeting When I was in high school, that was the vision I had for myself'cause it spoke power and authority and that's what I wanted to do. But that vision of leadership never panned out. I didn't finish college and I had my first baby at 24. Instead of giving a presentation in a boardroom, I was legitimately trying to figure out how food would end up in my baby's diaper, even when he was wearing a onesie, And it used to drive me insane. I was. Honestly amazed that even when my son was fully clothed, there was still food from his lunch in his diaper. Somehow. I don't know how it made it there, and I know you mamas can also relate to this. Well, FBLA, it did teach me a few things. I still remember learning about lunch etiquettes and what not to order during lunch interviews or how to greet someone with confidence by giving a firm handshake and making eye contact. But those moments. Were quickly traded for sleepless nights and learning how to lead a little human through tantrums, through patience and lots of singing. And for a long time I didn't think that that counted as leadership, but the truth is, it absolutely does. It's just placed in a different setting. Now, if I were to ask you to describe what comes to mind when you hear the word leader, what would you say? Most people imagine someone in an authoritative role, maybe a CEO or a team director or a polished professional who leads board meetings with confidence, always seems to have the right answers and wear such a powerful suit that they have authority even when they walk in the door without saying a word. And while that can be leadership, it's not the full for many of us, especially as moms, that image feels like miles away because you're not in a corner office most days. Your quote unquote uniform is comfy clothes and maybe a messy bun. You're not making company-wide decisions. You're trying to figure out how to make dinner before someone has a meltdown, or you're trying to manage your household routines when it comes to cleaning and everyone else's schedule. And sometimes and some days you don't feel like you're leading anything, you just feel like you're barely surviving. The house is a mess and you're overwhelmed and you wonder if what you're doing even matters. But here's the truth. The very fact that you're raising your children, managing daily tantrums, showing up for your family and being intentional in these small, unseen moments. That is leadership. So if you've ever downplayed your role as quote unquote just a mom, today is the day that you shift that mindset because we are going to remove the misconception of what leadership is because, yes. You are a mom, but you are also modeling what love looks like under pressure. You're teaching resilience to your kids. You are teaching and displaying responsibility. You're living out your faith and you're actively problem solving. All of this in real time. Your kids, they just don't see your struggles. They get to see your growth as well, and that is powerful. That mama is influence, and that's what leaders do. They influence the misconception that leadership only happens in board boardrooms, or in an important position, but when you believe that lie, you shrink the reality of the massive influence that you carry every single day in your home. Leadership isn't just about power, it's about your presence. It's about setting the tone and guiding hearts and showing up with grace even when you don't feel like you're quote unquote enough. You don't need a title to be a leader. You just need to recognize the position of influence God has already placed in you as a mom. I talked about how I never finished college. Right when I was in my early twenties. I thought that I was somehow failing because I didn't have a degree to back up my name or give me credential in something. And that thought spiraled me into wondering what I was doing with my life. I felt lost and I felt invalidated many days out of the week because I just didn't have that credential that I thought was going to somehow validate my. Thoughts and my actions and the way that I carried myself, it somehow reflected how I valued myself as well. And so I didn't see myself as a leader when I was a young girl. And I still didn't see myself as a leader when I was a young mom so let's remove the idea that leadership only belongs to corporate America, where it looks like wearing fancy suits, climbing the ladder, being in charge of others, and so many other things because that image might not be something that we as mamas can relate to, especially when we're wiping noses and stepping on Legos, which hurt really bad, by the way, if you know, you know, so what is leadership really? True leadership isn't about a title. It's about caring for what God has entrusted to you. It's also known as stewardship, and that is the best way that you can lead. So let's take a look at Jesus. In Luke 22, the disciples are arguing over who is the greatest among them, and Jesus asked a question, what were you guys discussing? But no one answers him. They would remain silent, however, Jesus still answers anyway, he says in Luke 22, starting at verse 25. And he said to them, the kings of Gentiles exercise lordship over them, and those in authority over them are called benefactors, but not so with you. Rather, let the greatest among you become as the youngest and the leader as one who serves for who is the greater one who reclines at the table or one who serves. Is it not the one who reclines at the table? But I am among you as the one who serves. And here you can see Jesus painting two very different worlds. He talks about the world and how we give titles of greatness to those whom we deem to have power or some type of major influence. But Jesus is saying that in his kingdom, the great one is the one who works. And to work means to serve. Because he asked the question later for who is the greater. One who reclines at the table or one who serves, is it not the one who reclines at the table? And then he goes on to say, but I am among you as the one who serves. Jesus flips the script and the world's eye. The leader is the one reclining at the table being served. But in God's kingdom, the greatest is the one doing the serving. And Jesus doesn't just say it, but he actually models it. In John 13, he takes on the role of the lowliest servant and washes his disciples feet. And then he says, if I then, if Lord and teacher have washed your feet. You also ought to wash one another's feet. I have given you an example that you should do, just as I have done to you. And also just a little side note in the Jewish culture, back in the days with Jesus, washing feet was a task performed by the lowliest servant. And for Jesus to take on that role as rabbi, as someone who is a leader, to do that, he is humbling himself and he's showing his disciples. The way to lead. Well, so it's not glamorous all the time, right? Even as a mom, our life is not glamorous. We don't always get what we want or even to do things when we say we're gonna do'em, it's not loud either. Meaning no one's really cheering us on from the sideline saying, go, mama. Go. Right? Even though that might be what we need from time to time, and often it goes unnoticed. and that can make us feel like we're just kind of disappearing into the background of our family's lives. But the truth is. When you stop doing them, they will notice. They'll notice the things that usually make their day run a lot smoother is not there. Or the little luxuries that they get, they don't get anymore. That's not to discourage you, but it is to let you know. That just speaks into how much of a powerful impact you make. So Mama's Kingdom leadership is happening every day. You are doing it every day.. And so I hope that that encourages you to continue to show up even if you're not constantly getting a thank you or hug as you are working through your day. When I was a little girl, I used to dread cleaning up. After dinner, I would cook, set the table, and while everyone else relaxed on the couch, I was stuck with the mess. I remember thinking, it must be nice to eat and then walk away, not have to worry about cleaning. But as I grew in my faith, I saw it differently. That small act of cleaning, even when I didn't want to, like clearing the plates, wiping the counters down, serving my family, in unseen ways, that is leadership. That is what Jesus did. And he said, I am among you as one who serves. And while in that season, I couldn't quite see it yet. When I look back on it, I'm so grateful, so incredibly grateful that I just stuck it through, because even though my family might not see it that way, I am glad and I feel honored that I got to serve him in that way. So no leadership doesn't require a job title. But it does require faithfulness. It is showing up with a servant's heart and stewarding what God has placed in your hands, and that is your family. So how does this tie in when it comes to leadership as a mom? The thing is, you're already doing it. Every time you wake up early. Pray for your kids, guide them through their emotions. Whenever you pack lunches, whenever you manage the routines, whenever you stop whatever it is that you're doing, and listen when they're having a rough day or when they have something exciting to share with you, that is all. Leadership, you're leading in those moments and everything in between. It's not only in what you're doing with them, but in how you're showing up. They see you and they're really great observers. So if you are constantly negatively speaking to yourself in a way that doesn't show love, they'll pick up on that. My kids and I used to play this game where we would take turns saying what we noticed or appreciated about the other person. I started hearing my kids repeat things that I didn't even realize. I said both sweet and not so sweet things, but that moment reminded me that they're always watching and how I lead, even in my tone of voice or my body language, it is shaping their understanding of love, grace, and of serving. So teach your kids through your presence, through your patience and your persistence, and wanting to show up and be better, Keep this in mind. Leadership and motherhood isn't about being perfect. It's about being faithful with what God has entrusted to you, your home, your children, and the influence that you have because your kids are watching. They're learning what love and service looks like through your tone of voice and your actions that are learning what faith looks like and how you handle those hard moments, and even in how you celebrate. So yes. Even the ones where you mess up and you ask for forgiveness, it's about displaying humility, showing them what that looks like, and it's all a learning moment for you and for them. All of this is leadership at its finest. And the best part, it's kingdom work and it's changing lives. So begin changing the way you view motherhood and start embracing the leader role in a different light. Walk humbly and invite the Holy Spirit to guide your steps. Keep in step with him. Remember, the goal isn't to be a perfect mom. It's about being a faithful one. So lead conversations that point back to God. Keeping your word to show intention and so much more. Because true leadership is shown through Jesus. It's in serving instead of reclining at the table, because in God's Kingdom, the leader isn't the one who's reclining at the table, but the one who serves. And Mama your home is the quote unquote table, and your leadership is shown in the serving. So that's through playtime, bedtime stories, cleaning up messes, and forgiving quickly and everything in between because you lead, when you lean into the messy, beautiful work of motherhood with a heart surrendered to God. So the next time that you step on all Lego piece, or you're cleaning a mess, you didn't intend to. Nor wanted to. Remember that leadership is not just you, quote unquote, constantly cleaning, but use this as an opportunity to be a servant leader and invite your child to help you clean. Teach them so that they can have the skillset later on to pick up after themself. Because it breeds into so many other things like learning how to take responsibility, and it points them back to the one who came not to be served, but to serve. So let's move past the misconception that leadership only exists in powerful suits and high positions, and start seeing it in the everyday work of motherhood because you're not just surviving, you are leading. Leadership is about faithful stewarding of what God's entrusted you with your home, your family skills, and your all of your talents, all of it. Lean into the messy times, and don't forget that when things get hard, mama, you can do hard things. Thank you so much for hanging out with me today. I had such a wonderful time. I cannot wait to meet you again next Wednesday. Right here on this podcast. Mamma. I hope that as you are inspired and uplifted, that you would show up at all the spaces and places ready to serve with a joyful heart. And yes, with confidence. Please take a moment to leave a review on apple podcasts. It would bring me so much joy hearing from you If you want to connect even more, join the insider's list. I would love to continue helping you as you journey on the link to join the insider's list is going to be posted in the show notes.. All right, my friend, this is where we part ways. I hope you have a wonderful day. Go in peace.