126 | Is Mom Guilt Wrecking Your Summer—Or Setting You Free?

Join the Summer Confidence Mini Series and discover how Christian moms can break free from mom guilt when summer doesn't go according to plan! 

Hey Mama!

Is your summer filled with missed trips, cranky kids, and unexpected chaos? Or maybe you're constantly comparing your family's simple summer to the elaborate vacations you see on social media? This faith-centered episode offers compassionate encouragement and biblical perspective for the moments when summer doesn't go according to plan—giving you back the joy that mom guilt has been stealing.

In this episode, we explore how to find peace in the mess and create meaningful moments right where you are—even when plans fall apart or finances feel tight. Discover practical ways to enjoy summer with kids without the pressure of perfection, because summer joy isn't measured by perfect plans or expensive outings, but by faithful presence in the small, sacred moments.

Key takeaways:

• Transform disappointment into teachable moments that model faith and resilience
• Try the "$0 Fun Challenge" to create memorable summer experiences with kids. using only what you already have at home
• Let God redefine "summer success" and break free from mom guilt

Join our supportive community of moms who are choosing presence over perfection this summer season!

✨ Take the summer confidence challenge and share your outfit inside the free online community—linked in the show notes! ✨

Explore more from the Summer Confidence Mini Series:

• 124 | Feeling A Little Off This Summer? How To Beat Mom Guilt
• 125| Stressed About Summer Clothes? Here's How To Reclaim Your Confidence Today

More FREE Resources:

FREE Community: https://bit.ly/buildingconfidenceforchristianmoms

Become a Restored Mind Insider: https://restoredmindllc.myflodesk.com/insider

Email: Hello@restoredmindllc.com

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I'm excited to connect with you! Remember, you can do hard things!
"I can do all things through Him who strengthens me"- Philippians 4:13

Transcript

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maybe you had big hopes for the summer and it's just not turning out the way you pictured for missed trips to cranky kids and flat out chaos. You're wondering, did I mess up? And today's episode of the Summer Confidence Mini series where we stop the mom guilt and start showing up as the mom we want to be. We're talking about how to let go of that guilt find peace and the mess, and create meaningful moments right where you are. Hey, mama. Tired of the constant guilt and wondering if you're getting it right. You are not alone, and you don't have to stay stuck. It's time to show up. Ask the mom you want to be and not the mom who's always drained and snapping at her family. Welcome to the Restored Mind Podcast. I'm your host, Caroline Tao, and this is your safe space to trade, constant overwhelm for meaningful connection and guilt for the precious moments ahead. Ready? Let's do this. Are you loving the show or have a question you want answered on air? Well, this is your moment. Just tap the link at the top of the show notes because now you can send me a message and who knows? You might even hear it on air, or if you have a question that's going to also help shape the future of this podcast. The truth is I truly just love reading your messages and hearing from you because it seriously makes my day knowing that you're part of the restored Mind family. Now, I won't be able to reply to your text messages, so if it's something that you need a response to. Please email me at hello@restoredmindllc.com. That's HELL o@restoredmindllc.com. Either way, I can't wait to hear from you. If you caught the mini episode I released about two weeks ago, which would've been episode 124, you probably already know that our summer started off a little rocky. We had planned this great trip to Great Wolf Lodge to kick off the season with the kids, which is something that they've been looking forward to ever since our spring break trip to Yosemite. The plan was to go the very first week of summer to celebrate a wonderful school year and a start to the summer break. But then my husband had to travel for work, so he was gone for a full week, and when he got back, he had to work through the weekend. So while he was able to come home, it just felt like he was gone, and then by the time three weeks. Came around, we just realized we had not booked it, so we finally booked our overnight stay for Monday night. Everyone was honestly excited. Well, everyone but one person. I am not a huge fan of water parks, but I'll take one for the team. So as the day was nearing, the kids were getting more excited. We had also hyped up this trip, and that morning of my kids were so full of energy, especially from having a big breakfast. All of our bags were packed and we were loading up the car. Then we set off, and then around lunchtime we decided to go to Chick-fil-A. And guess what? Our car died right there in the drive-through as they handed us our food. And you know what? We brought the entire lunch line to a halt, which I felt bad about. Because I also know they probably have kids in the car and it was probably very frustrating. So if you were in that line, I'm so sorry that you got stuck behind us. Eventually though, we did get a car to the shop, but what we thought would take a couple of hours actually ended up taking all day. So we missed our check-in and our plan was completely derailed and the disappointment on our kids' faces. That was actually the hardest part. As we told them, we had to push our reservation to the next day. I felt this wave of guilt knowing that we had this planned as the first week of their summer vacation, and then thinking about how we should have already made this happen, and it just took us so long to get there. I felt bad. I had tried so hard to give them this awesome, fun start to the summer and now it felt like I let them down. But here's the thing. Even when we plan and prepare and hype things up, sometimes life just doesn't cooperate. And when it doesn't, it's easy to spiral into that mom guilt. So if you've ever felt that way when your plans fell apart, when maybe park dates got missed, or when screen time creeps in because you're a little bit busy and so they're on it a little bit longer, I think we've all been guilty of that. Or when someone's cranky and nothing just feels quote unquote awesome. It's just a messy day. I know that this episode is going to be so incredibly awesome for you. So. let's talk about that. Let's talk about when our plans fall apart, because the thing is you've planned this awesome trip, maybe to the beach, to the zoo, a fun day at an interactive museum, or even a family getaway trip. You've hyped it up and you've packed the snacks, the backs, and got everyone excited, and then someone gets sick or your husband has to work or you have car trouble, maybe someone missed their nap and the day just spirals away from you. So you start thinking all that effort. And for what? It's frustrating, it almost feels like all the pre-planning had become a waste of time, and now you're left holding that disappointment and the guilt, which those two things are absolutely understandable because you put in the effort and you wanted to do something fun for your family so that they can have an awesome summer a. One that is full of joy and wonderful memories that they can hold onto. You want to maximize the opportunity to create more memories with your family or even new traditions. So when things fall through, especially when they're out of your control, it can feel unfair. Like all your effort was wasted and suddenly you're wondering if you failed at giving your kids the summer that they deserve, that somehow you failed to create the summer that you have hoped for.'cause all you want to do is listen to the laughs that they give off when they're excited about something, or the joy in their voices when they're talking about this. Awesome memory that they've made. When we were stuck at the car shop? Besides the rising frustration and annoyance that came with planning and replanning according to what the progress of the car was. We could hear the agony and our kids' voices. It gave us a chance to talk with our kids about how sometimes, no matter how well we plan things, life doesn't go the way we expect because trust me, absolutely nobody wanted to be stuck at the car shop that day. But when we remember. That God is the one ultimately in control. It puts those interruptions into perspective. And let's think about this, because it doesn't feel good when we plan something and our expectations aren't met, but maybe that's because we're measuring good and bad days by our own standards, when in reality God who has created all of our days sees a bigger picture. So even the quote unquote bad days can carry purpose. And as Lamentations reminds us, his mercies are new every morning. So where can we find his mercies? Mama. It's when you give yourself permission to feel disappointed alongside your family too. Now, that doesn't mean that you are being ungrateful. It's in our human nature to feel disappointed when things don't go as planned. But remember, that moment does not define your entire summer. Also. Reframe your thoughts and think about what you can do instead. Sometimes it's those unexpected moments that become the sweetest memories for our little family. That day, it was an ice cream trip at a local shop after dinner, everyone got a little sweet treat with. Two toppings instead of the usual one choice of topping, which they were excited about and it didn't fix everything to be honest with you, but it did create a memory to smile about. It also served as a reminder that joy doesn't always come from the original plan. Now, I know that for some of you listening, even an ice cream stop might feel out of reach right now. Maybe money is tight And it's not just the unexpected setbacks, it's that constant tension of wanting to create something special for your kids, but feeling like you can't afford to. So let's talk about that for a minute, because honestly, you're not alone and you're not failing. Mama. Maybe money is tight this year for whatever reason, but you feel the need or have the desire to do something special, like take a beach trip or go to the waterpark. Even something like going out to grab some ice cream, but an unexpected bill came in. Maybe you lost your job, or your business is growing at a slower rate than you thought. Maybe something in the house broke and it needed fixing. Or perhaps it could be that your budget has already been maxed out. Now you're faced with saying no to something you wish you could say yes to, and the reality is you're not just disappointed, you feel helpless. You want to give your kids something to look forward to, for them to get excited about, and instead you feel like you're constantly coming up short. And the reason why you feel this way is because you love your kids. You want them to have fun and you want them to enjoy the little things that might make their day even sweeter. You want them to go on adventures, experience something new, and create new memories. And when you can't give them those experiences, even if their reasons are completely out of your control, it honestly hurts. That's when the lies creep in. Honestly, it's quite easy to internalize the idea that says, if I can't afford this, I'm letting them down, or worse, I am not doing enough. As a mom, and you might even be feeling sad because you are scrolling on social media, seeing other families out and about, and wondering if you are doing something wrong. But let me just say this loud and clear'cause I want you to truly understand and grasp this. What you're able to give financially does not measure the love that you give your family daily. Remind yourself that you are not a bad mom because you can't buy experiences. The most meaningful memories your kids will remember won't be about the price tags. It's going to be about the presence, not the presents, like the things that you unopen, but you being fully there and intentional with them. This is something that my husband and I do with our kids that actually helps bring awareness to the rising prices that everyone is experiencing right now. And that is, we're honest with them about why we can't do something. And we make it known that it's not that we don't want to, but it's just not in our budget right now. And it doesn't make sense financially to force this thing to happen if it's going to give us a setback in the future. And it could be also that we have a bill due, or the budget just doesn't stretch that far for this particular event. Once we have that conversation with our kids, we will suggest an alternative or plan further in advance to potentially accommodate, depending on what the event is, and you know what, mama? There are plenty of affordable alternatives. It just takes a little creativity. So maybe we can't go to the interactive museum, but we can have our own little science experiments at home. We can make our own bubble recipe and play with that or play around with water because that's their favorite thing to do in a way that sparks curiosity. If it's a craving that we're having, we'll probably look up a recipe and see if we have all of the ingredients to make it. And if we don't, we'll think about what we might be able to use that can substitute one ingredient for another, which always leads to something interesting. and in all of this, there are lots of learning opportunities in these moments and they almost always end up being a great time. One, because we don't have to share the space. And two, the kids can play with their creation for as long as they want. It's simple, but it matters. And honestly. This is where I want to encourage you that if you're feeling stuck or discouraged about not being able to quote, go and do. Just remember. You can create and connect. So I have this lighthearted little fun challenge for you this week, and I think it's going to bring some awesome joy back into your day. Today I'm calling it the$0 Fun Challenge because. That was the name that I could think of that actually encapsulated the idea for this challenge. So your mission is to create one fun or meaningful memory with your kids that cost nothing, which means you're going to use what you already have. So it could be that you are going to build a pillow fort with them or have a dance party in the living room. Or maybe you guys go on a nature scavenger hunt if your family loves to be outdoors. My daughters this summer have been making paper dolls from leftover birthday and Christmas wrapping paper and they look incredibly cute. And my son, he's been building obstacle courses out of our couch pillows and pillows in general and blankets. And that's also been really fun. And these are the kind of moments that stay with them. Not because they're fancy, but because everyone was present and interacting and building connection with one another. So once you've done your fun memory challenge, come share it. Inside my free community, we're all gathering ideas to keep summer light and connected and pressure free. And listen, if you're nervous about sharing, you're not alone. But your simple idea might be exactly what another mama needs to hear in this season. Because even if it doesn't feel the same as the trip that you had hoped for, it is still meaningful. Creativity, presence and laughter. Those are the things that build connection and lasting memories. And honestly, I believe that you've got this, mama. So don't be afraid to take on this$0 fun challenge. Now we've talked about what to do when plans fall apart. We've also talked about what to do when finances feel tight. But what about what's happening in your heart through all of this? What if success isn't measured by how much we spend or how much we do? What if God is using these quieter, slower, more simpler moments to shape something even more meaningful? Let's talk about that. Let's talk about what it means to let God redefine what a good summer or even a successful day actually looks like. Just because it didn't go as planned doesn't mean it wasn't memorable. There are many lessons you can draw from, even from the most unexpected and roughest of days that could simply mean slowing down. And returning your attention to the soft cooing of your baby, or listening to your kids run around while playing together as you take a deep breath to release the tension from the disappointment and guilt. You don't need to create magic for the best summer ever. It is helpful when you remember your creator and count it all. Joy, as James kindly reminds us in chapter one, verse two, to not give up when you meet trials of various kinds because you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness and mama God is present even in the detours of life. He works according to his will and those unplanned times. It helps build resilience in you as you model that for your kids. To honor God with the glory that he is. Even in the moments where life just seems so tough is what helps you break free from mom guilt. It creates space to forgive yourself, to feel the disappointment, but not stay stuck in it. It helps you refocus your attention on what matters most, Which is the family that you've been gifted with. Everything else is extra. Would it be great to have those things? Yeah, sure. But it doesn't dictate whether your summer is a success or a failure. You get to have this opportunity to be in conversation with your kids, to build something new and personal with them that will make a lasting impact in their life. You're partnering with God as you remain steadfast in him. So ask yourself, what has God been showing you in this slower and messier summer? I want you to remember that when plans fall apart, it's okay to feel disappointed, but that moment doesn't define your summer because God can still meet you where you're at and you can still make it meaningful. We also talked about. When money feels tight, which is what we're all experiencing at the moment, your presence truly matters more than any price tag. Joy can be created with what you already have. Creativity and connection go a long way, and when it feels like it's all messy, let God redefine success for you. Go back to him and remember him. He's not asking for a flawless summer for you to even show up as the mom who's always planning these big events and doing everything on the bucket list of everyone in your family. He's inviting you to stay faithful in the small, slow and sacred moments. So as you head into the rest of your day, don't forget, small simple moments really do matter. And hey, if you try the$0 Fund challenge, I would love to hear about it. Just pop into the free community and share your favorite moment. We're gathering ideas and encouraging one another. Alright, mama, you've got this. I know that it can be hard, but you can do hard things. Thank you so much for hanging out with me today, mama. I had a lot of fun. I'll see you next Wednesday, right here on the podcast, and my prayer is that you'll show up in all the spaces of your life ready to serve with a joyful heart and with confidence. Until then, go in peace.