The Restored Mind | Mom Guilt, Self Doubt, Biblical Encouragement, Self Worth, Positive Mindset, Motherhood

128 | Stop Feeling Behind! A Busy Mom's Guide To A Guilt-Free Summer

• Caroline Thao

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This episode is part of the Summer Confidence Mini Series, designed to guide Christian moms out of survival mode and into intentional leadership. Learn how to turn chaotic summer days into meaningful memories.

Hey Mama!

If you've been feeling like you're constantly playing catch-up this summer—torn between keeping your home in order and being present with your kids—you're not alone. In this episode, we’ll explore why summer feels so overwhelming for moms and how to shift from frustration to intentional leadership, right where you are. Discover how to manage the mess, reclaim peace in your home, and focus on what truly matters without sacrificing your sanity or joy.

Key takeaways:

  • Identify your non-negotiable spaces (just 1-2 areas) instead of trying to keep your entire home perfect, which allows you to maintain sanity while still making summer memories.
  • Challenge the pressure-inducing thoughts with God's truth, especially Philippians 4:8-9, practicing "thoughtful rest" to redirect your attention to what holds eternal value.
  • Lead through the chaos by involving your kids in solutions, creating simple bonding activities like card games, and learning to "read the room" to balance productivity with your family's needs.


✨ Join the "Catch-Up Power Hour" challenge this week and win your time back so you can have more family time—linked in the show notes! ✨

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I'm excited to connect with you! Remember, you can do hard things!
"I can do all things through Him who strengthens me"- Philippians 4:13


Feeling like you can't keep up this summer with kids home. The house is messier than ever. And that to-do list, well, it's growing by the minute. And this episode of the Summer Confidence miniseries, discover Why you feel so behind and get actionable steps to finally catch up in the midst of the summer. Chaos, all without sacrificing what matters most. Hey mama. Tired of the constant guilt and wondering if you're getting it right. You are not alone, and you don't have to stay stuck. It's time to show up as the mom you want to be and not the mom who's always drained and snapping at her family. Welcome to The Restored Mind Podcast. I'm your host, Caroline Tao, and this is your safe space to trade constant. Overwhelm for meaningful connection and guilt for the precious moments ahead. Ready? Let's do this. Hey mama. I would love to hear your heart and maybe even feature your voice on the podcast. Have a question about motherhood, faith, or just want to share how an episode touched you. Just tap the link at the top of the show notes. It opens up like you're texting a friend. Your stories and questions are what make this community so incredibly special, and who knows your message might inspire a future episode or encourage another mom who's walking a similar path. Either way, I can't wait to hear from you. When my family and I moved to California last year, I had this vision of a smooth transition. I thought we would quickly unpack boxes, have our furniture perfectly arranged. And still have plenty of time to explore our new community. But the reality was that it was absolute chaos. For weeks, we were living in a maze of half empty boxes, and whenever I needed something simple like bath towels, it would turn into a 20 minute treasure hunt, So what I ended up doing was I made a target trip, which by the way, I'm not upset about. But here's what really frustrated me. I caught myself between two important things. First is I wanted our home to feel settled and organized, but. I also wanted to give my kids a great summer before school started. I mean, we had just traveled across country and they were in a new community, so I wanted us to at least make the best of what was left of our summer. And that meant we would take time to go to local beaches, explore hiking trails, all while making these new memories. But every day I would look around at the mess and think. I am so behind that feeling of constantly playing catch up was exhausting to say the least. I would make progress in one area, only to fall behind in another. So Mama, if that sounds familiar, you're not alone. That constant feeling of I can't keep up. Is exactly what we're talking about today. So let's talk about why you feel so behind in the first place and why that summer chaos feels so overwhelming when you are trying to juggle it all. The reality of summer with kids at home is that there is going to be constant messes, so we're going to be dealing with endless dishes, laundry piles, and toys. Everywhere. It feels like when you clean one area of your home, you'll turn around and see that another area needs some TLC as well. Summer activities also create a certain kind of mess as well, especially with my daughters. There are scrap papers everywhere, marker tops left on the counter and on the floor. Other times. It's from making their favorite breakfast items, which are pancakes. Now, don't get me wrong, it's one of my favorite ways that I get to bond with my daughters. So while they are measuring and mixing all of the ingredients together, I'm usually heating up the pan and preparing the proteins. But with them mixing and measuring, that also means that there's going to be spilled flowers and eggs on the counter and possibly the floor. And there's definitely going to be batter that ends up on the stove from them pouring it into the pan. Since we're on the topic of food, I've also noticed that. They snack throughout the day and will leave the wrappers or crumbs everywhere. My son is growing. He's 10 years old and his appetite has shot up So after his meals, he's always snacking or looking for something to eat, and all of this just contributes to the mess and the amount of dishes that needs to be washed throughout the day. My two girls are also going through a stage where they change frequently. If you are a girl mom, you can probably relate to this, but they change about three to four times a day, so I'm finding it harder this summer to keep up with laundry because of that. All of these things that I have mentioned, are the reason why the cleaning cycle feels like it's never ending. It makes you feel like you're struggling to keep up with the demands inside your home. Now, you might be wondering why this feels overwhelming and it's because. You're essentially trying to balance cleaning with memory making, and it can be an impossible standard if you are setting unrealistic expectations.. See, during the school year, I have found that my dishes are quite minimal because everyone is on a routine. Most mornings I'll have breakfast with my kids before we go to school, and then when I come back from dropping them off, I'll clean the dishes and then I'm off for my morning walk or run, depending on the day. And then once I get back, I'll focus on my podcast or any work that needs to be done for my small business. The house is quieter so that means distractions are minimal and it's easier for me to focus and get through the day. And so my routine during the summertime has not looked anything like that. Even though my intentions were to stick to my routine, it just isn't happening. And if I'm being honest, it's because summer changes my role It also changes your role as a part-time cleaner and mom to full-time everything. Now, let me clarify. We all know that our role as a mom doesn't change no matter where our kids are at, But the amount of attention that we need to focus on with our kids is definitely different when they're at school. Because during the school year, your active mom duties might be concentrated in the mornings and maybe in the late afternoons into the evenings, but during the summer, you're on full-time all day Mom duties with little to no breaks, and if you have. Kids that are not yet in school, you're on mom duty 100% of the time and it can get stressful as well. So how do we break free from this frustrating cycle of feeling constantly behind? Well, it starts first with our mindset. We have to acknowledge that for this brief moment, you're in a different season. The routine that worked while they were in school is no longer a working routine. And once you've acknowledged that your season has changed, the next step is identifying your non-negotiables. These non-negotiables are things that absolutely cannot go unintended. Now? You might be thinking that your whole house is non-negotiable. That's a big goal. Right? But the reality is that we can't have everything be a non-negotiable because then everything becomes a priority. And when everything becomes a priority, it builds frustration and it keeps you stuck in the cycle of feeling like you're always behind. So I encourage you to pick just one to two places in your home to start with. For me, it's my kitchen. I love that it needs to stay tidy for easy meal planning and prepping. It makes cooking go faster, and it's much less of a hassle to clean up afterwards, which I'm all for so why am I asking you to pick one or two spaces? It's because you still have to factor in your daily life. The goal here is to break free from constantly feeling behind without sacrificing what matters. And so if your whole house is your non-negotiable, It doesn't leave you with a lot of time and energy to focus on your family and make these memories, which is what matters most to you at the end of the day. Now, once you've mastered your non-negotiable areas, then you can move into other spaces as time fits. That could be during the day or throughout the week, depending on how you plan out your week. So I would encourage you, for example, to have a designated day specifically for laundry, and then as a daily routine before bedtime, have your kids go through the high traffic places inside your home and tidy those areas. It might not be magazine perfect or Pinterest worthy, but it will make your summer more enjoyable Because you're gonna be spending less time cleaning up in the evening and more time being able to do the things that you enjoy. And it also gives an opportunity for your family to take part in the roles and responsibilities of tidying up the house By focusing on just these key areas, you'll start to feel less behind and more in control, even when the rest of the house reflects the reality of. Summer with kids, Now we put a lot of pressure on ourselves as mom to keep our house together, naturally, we want to create a home that is welcoming, peaceful, and safe for our family. But beyond the physical mess, there's this inner dialogue that keeps telling you, you should be doing better. Or you should be doing more and that you should have a handle on keeping your home tidy because after all, it is your home. You see other moms maybe on social media or even in your immediate circle who seems to manage the chaos of summer and all its festivities just fine. So you begin to compare yourself to them and you're thinking maybe you're not doing something right. You look at your home, which is a home that is, may I remind you, well loved and lived in, versus a home that is magazine worthy. So when you compare your life to another mama's life, guilt creeps in and it adds pressure for you to not drop the ball on your quote unquote normal routine while you're trying to enjoy summer with your family. This comparison mindset is so damaging because it's not based on the reality that you are in. What you are seeing, especially on social media, is someone taking the time to tell a portion of their day to show you a small part of their life. What you're not seeing are the behind the scenes where she gets frustrated. Maybe she snaps at her kids or she begins to angry clean. Right. I think we all have done that at some point as a mom, because we're frustrated that we're doing everything. But. That's the part, the real raw part of motherhood that's not being portrayed as you are looking through these short videos on say, Instagram or Facebook. Comparison isn't just mentally exhausting. It creates practical challenges too. Challenges like pressure that builds up because you're carrying two roles that you want to do perfectly which is the fun summer mom and then the mom who can maintain a clean and organized home. But the truth is, these two roles are eventually going to compete for your limited time and energy. And when you can't do both perfectly, it feels like a failure. This mindset makes the physical chaos feel more like a personal failure rather than a simple, normal season of life with your kids at home. You begin to feel like you're falling behind when the reality is that you are a mom with limited time and energy, and all moms are like that. All moms operate on limited time and energy, but in our mind, especially with Mom guilt and pressure creeping in, we can feel like it's just us who's dropping the ball, So how can you make the most out of what is limited, which is your time and energy while breaking free from these comparisons? I would encourage you to start by identifying the specific thought patterns that make you feel like you're behind the stories you tell yourself. Internally shape what you believe about your capabilities as a mom. So you have to examine your thoughts and make sure that they are rooted in truth rather than an unrealistic expectation. And once you named those thoughts, challenge them with God's truth because this is where his word becomes our anchor in the chaos. Now, remember, God does not measure your worth by how clean your home looks or how many items you've checked off your to-do list in these moments. When your house feels outta control, I encourage you to turn and remember what Paul says in Philippians four eight. He writes, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence. If there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. And Paul doesn't just tell us what to think about. He also tells us what to do with these thoughts. In the very next verse, he says, what you have learned and received, and heard and seen in me. Practice these things and the God of peace will be with you. Now, one way I have found to put this into practice is what I like to call thoughtful rest, Taking in of moments to rest, not just my body, but my mind when I feel overwhelmed, and here's what that looks like in my life. It's pausing briefly to first, thank God for this busy, messy house that can feel out of control at times because it reminds me that he is in control Then it's genuinely asking God to help me with perspective to see that this season is temporary, but also incredibly precious because the moment is. Fleeting. And this type of reflection just redirects my attention to what holds eternal value without dismissing my natural desire for order in my home. Because let's face it, as moms, we want our house to be tidy and neat and organized. So now that we've addressed our mindset, let's talk about how we can lead effectively even in the midst of the chaos, because the goal is not trying to survive motherhood but thoroughly live it with intention and purpose. True leadership isn't about perfect control. It's about internal guidance through imperfect seasons. When your house feels chaotic and you feel behind, that is exactly when your leadership matters most. Motherhood isn't about controlling everything but about the influence that you have on your children because let's be honest, they're watching how you speak, how you react when things go wrong, and how you manage your emotions and stressful moments. Now, for years, I never thought of myself as a leader because I didn't fit the image in my head. I wasn't running board meetings or wearing power suits. Many days. My uniform was just pajama pants, a nursing bra and a t-shirt with my hair thrown in Some kind of a messy bun. And so I would think, how could that possibly be the presence of a leader when you shift from trying to. Catch up to leading through the mess you model for your children. How to navigate challenges with grace The messy summer days are truly prime opportunities to demonstrate what it means to adapt, prioritize, and to find joy in all the imperfections. Remember, in God's kingdom, leadership is shown through serving. You can see that in how Jesus serves, and it's not about having everything under control or completed perfectly. Summer feels like it's really long, but it goes by really fast. So don't miss out on this time with your kids. You only get one summer with them at the age that they are at now. Things will look different next year, and I don't want you to look back and wish that you had spent more time with them.. I want you to look back and think that that was an awesome summer, and I want you to be excited for the one that's coming. And truthfully, your kids are not going to remember the messy house. They're going to remember the time that you were present with them, that is worth more in its value than a spotless home. So how can you lead through the mess without giving up what matters most? There are plenty of ways to do this, but I wanna share with you three ways that has helped me, and they don't require a lot of work and energy. So the first one is to involve your kids in the solution. That might mean everyone gets to vote on an activity or they all get specific cleaning responsibilities that way task gets completed in less time and there's more time with each other. So that is going to be a win-win for you mama. The second way to show a servant leadership, and it's one of my favorite ways, is to play card games with them. Now, it doesn't require a perfect environment, which means you don't have to tidy up a huge area of your home in order to do this. And when you're playing these card games, it allows opportunity for conversations while you're having fun. For example, right now in our family. Uno, no. Mercy and speed have been favorites this summer. So that has been incredibly fun to do on a random hour during the week. And if I'm being honest with you, as I've worked through my small business throughout the summer, it has been awesome Just to step away and refresh my mind while enjoying a couple of rounds of Uno, no mercy or speed. And then the last way that I wanna share with you is to recognize that leading is not always about keeping busy. I love this TV show called Shark Tank. I was obsessed with it at one point, and if you're not familiar with it, it is a TV show where entrepreneurs pitch their business to the sharks who then could potentially invest in their business. There was an episode where Mark Cuban gave this wonderful advice that stuck with me His advice was learn to read the room. And so as that's continued to stick with me and bled into how I mother my kids. I would wonder if I was reading the room well. For example, there are times where I want to be on the go and spend the day running errands so that I can relax later, but my kids are absolutely dreading it. They don't want to run the errands. They would rather be at home, and so that's usually the time while I have to assess if the errands that I'm wanting to run are a pressing matter. Is this something that needs to be done today? And if it's not, then maybe I can put it off for a few more hours or just reschedule entirely for another day. Now if it is a pressing matter, I will vocalize that to my kids and let them know that they have to come with me because we have to get something done that day. Now, these are just a few leadership habits that you can start implementing as you navigate through the summer chaos that is going to make you feel less behind and more present As you're in the thick of summer break with this Summer Confidence mini series, with each episode that I've released, there's been a fun challenge to go along with it. And so this week's is called the Catchup Power Hour, and here's how it works. First, you're going to set a timer for exactly 20 minutes. Have everyone in the family pick one area to clean. Maybe that's the living room, the kitchen, or perhaps the bedroom. And then you're going to play and upbeat music, playlist and race against the clock. Now, here's the important part. When that timer goes off, everyone stops what they're doing immediately, no matter what. Then you're gonna spend the next 40 minutes doing something together that is going to be fun and you're gonna do it together as a family. Maybe that's ice cream card games, or even playing video games together. We love Mario Party at our house, so that's a really good pastime for us., And I'm so excited about this challenge because it shows your family that progress matters more than perfection, and it taps into the competitive side of your family as well as it gets everyone involved in both work and fun. And so I'll be doing this right alongside you. I would love for you to share your experience in my free online community, break free from Mom Guilt. I have it linked in the show notes for you, mama. And I can't wait to hear about your wins because this is gonna be so much fun. As we wrap up today, remember to first acknowledge that summer definitely brings a different season with its own rhythms, and then challenge the pressure inducing thoughts with God's truth. Then finally, lead through the chaos by involving your kids and creating meaningful moments. Even when everything feels behind schedule, And don't forget about the catch up power Hour challenge, mama. I know that it can be hard, especially if you are balancing keeping your house in order and summer activities, but you can do hard things. Thank you so much for hanging out with me today, mama. I had a lot of fun. I'll see you next Wednesday, right here on the podcast, and my prayer is that you'll show up in all the spaces of your life ready to serve with a joyful heart and with confidence. Until then, go in peace.