131 | Did I Do Enough? Escaping The Back-To School Mom Guilt Trap

Hey Mama!

As summer ends and a new school year begins, many Christian moms find themselves asking, “Did I do enough?” In this second episode of our Transition Mini Series, I unpack the pressure of mom guilt, why we focus on what we didn’t do instead of what we did, and how to reframe our thoughts with biblical truth and gratitude.

If you’ve ever felt like you fell short as a mom at the end of summer—or if your kids’ “I wish we did more” comments made you question everything you worked so hard to do—this episode will help you release guilt, embrace gratitude, and step into the new season with freedom.

Key Takeaways:

• Why mom guilt intensifies during transitions like back-to-school.
• How mindfulness and gratitude can shift your perspective away from guilt and toward freedom in Christ.
• How to reframe your children’s “I wish” comments into opportunities for joy and future connection.

Explore more from the Transition Mini Series:

130 | The Hidden Struggle Moms Don't See Coming When Kids Start School

More FREE Resources:

FREE Community: Break Free From Mom Guilt

Become a Restored Mind Family Member: Sign Up Here

Email: Hello@restoredmindllc.com

Ways You Can Give Back:

Leave A Review On Apple Podcast


It's time to become to the mom you want to be. Remember, you can do hard things!
"I can do all things through Him who strengthens me"- Philippians 4:13

Transcript

0:00

Welcome to the second episode of our transition miniseries. I am so excited to talk about this topic today because as summer ends and school begins, many of us mamas, find ourselves wondering. Did we do enough? Today we're tackling mom guilt head on and discovering how to celebrate what you did accomplish while releasing the weight of what you didn't. It's time to move forward with freedom. Are you feeling the weight of mom guilt? The truth is, there are so many mamas out there, including myself, that walk this journey alone, and the worst part is we think we're alone. But the good news is that, one, you are not alone. And two, because I used to struggle with this too and was so desperate for a community that combined practical strategies with faith-based encouragement. I created that community myself, and so I want to invite you into this free online community, break free for Mom Guilt, where Christian moms celebrate wins no matter how small, share biblical truth and support each other through guilt-free motherhood. The link to join is in the show notes and I personally cannot wait to welcome you Mama. See you there. Hey Mama. Overwhelmed by Mom Guilt. I'm Caroline Tao, helping Christian moms trade perfectionism for freedom and rest. Welcome to the Restored Mind, where Biblical wisdom meets practical strategies for becoming the mom You've always wanted to be ready. Let's do this. Do you remember the end of summer gathering challenge that we did last week? If you're not familiar with it, or if this is your first time with us at the Restored mind, which by the way, welcome to the Restored Mind family that. Summer Challenge was one where I encouraged you to gather your family around the dinner table or the campfire, and share one favorite summer memory with each other. Well, this challenge is one that we do every year right before school starts, but this was the first year my kids also volunteered information. Like what they wish they could have done more of. And that one caught me off guard because let me tell you, I was not ready for that. It honestly left me wondering if maybe we should have planned more outings or maybe we should have done more. And then that's when I caught myself, that familiar mom guilt just creeping in and trying to settle into my mind. It was erasing all the good memories that we had created. So what struck me was how quickly I moved from celebrating our summer highlights to questioning everything I had done.'cause it wasn't like they just gave me their I wishes, for things that they. Wanted to do more of. I mean, we talked about all the awesome things we did over the summer as well. And it just struck me how one simple comment and suddenly the beach trips, the water balloon fights. We had the movie nights, the endless ice cream nights, they didn't seem like they were quote unquote enough anymore.'cause I feel like I fell short. But then. I remembered Romans eight, one. There is no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus. So what if instead of condemning myself or what didn't happen? I celebrated what did, what if I saw my children's wishes, not as accusations, but as dreams that we could talk about for maybe next summer. That's when I realized this pattern of quote unquote, not enough, doesn't just steal our summers end and actually steals our confidence as we enter into a new season. And that is exactly what we're tackling today. But first we're going to explore why we focus on what we didn't do. See, as moms, we have a mental list that seems like it just gets longer and longer with each passing day. It's filled with things that we need to do, things we need to plan out, and it even triggers gaps that we've missed. So the transition of summer with Back to School puts your mind in a mental state of review where you categorize what you meant to do, but didn't get around to doing. When this happens, mom guilt intensifies and we become distracted from appreciating what we actually did accomplish over the summer, and when your mind becomes distracted, you're focusing on the negatives. It essentially robs you of joy and freedom as you enter into this new season. Transition itself is not at all a bad thing, and while it may be difficult to adjust, it shows that life is ever changing. Focusing on the negative prevents you from seeing God's hand all through summer. It creates anxiety about the upcoming school year, and if you're expressing it outwardly, it can also reflect how your little one is taking in this new transition for them as they start school. So let's not do that to them. Let's not make it harder for you either, one way you can begin to shift your focus is to notice when your mind goes to that quote unquote, not enough mentality. Similar to how I felt when my kids expressed what they wish they could have done more. I mean, that was like a shot in the heart because I really tried to keep them active and engaged all summer long. We learned new skills, took daily walks. We worked out daily and had many game times. We even joined their dad on a random day for lunch in his office throughout summer, so that was something they really enjoyed and looked forward to. So I actually thought that we were pretty busy, but I guess they had other ideas. Which by the way, it doesn't mean that they had a horrible summer by any means. It just meant that they had ideas that wasn't either expressed by them or that we just didn't get to. So as you become more mindful of your thought pattern, it becomes easier to pull yourself out of that negative mindset. The mindfulness isn't another task to perfect. It's a pathway to freedom and just remember, you are not a bad mom. You're a mom who is doing her best with the resources and energy you have. So don't be so hard on yourself, mama. And then the next step is after noticing these thought patterns, it's to challenge them. Challenge those not enough thoughts with evidence of what you did do, and then remind yourself of how that brought joy to your kids and what cool and fun things came out of it. Don't let this not enough mindset. Minimize all the awesome things you did over the summer. And you know what those, I wish comments from your kids can be turned into activities that you jot down for later in the year or next summer, if they are summer specific by any means. Some of the things that my kids named were things that we could do any time of the year, like trips to the trampoline park or going to the beach more often. We are about 40 minutes to an hour away from the beach. So it is more accessible to us. And basically what I'm getting at by sharing this with you is that. I want you to be encouraged to keep in mind what your kids are saying, because those can be part of a birthday celebration or on a random Saturday when you all have free time. And I'll talk more about how to do this in a fun way later on in this episode. So now that we've identified why we tend to focus on what we didn't do and how to become aware of these thought patterns, let's explore the powerful antidote to this negative focus, which is gratitude. While awareness is the first step, gratitude is the practice that actively shifts our perspective away from guilt and towards freedom, which is where we want to go. Using intentional gratitude is a spiritual discipline to counter guilt based thinking, and it's not just about thinking positively. It's more than that. It's acknowledging God's provision, knowing that he is in control, and remembering that he is good. So. If he is good, then even when we have the worst days, it's still a good day because God makes all of our days right. See, intentional gratitude requires consistent practice. This work does not come easy when guilt rises up and it begins to feel more natural to maybe even hunker back into old patterns and behaviors. So while it's hard, it's not impossible. And the reason you want to start practicing gratitude is because it's going to help transform your perspective and align you with biblical truth. Romans eight one reminds us that there is, therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. Some Bible verses. Also expand this with who walk, not according to the flesh, but according to the spirit, which beautifully emphasizes how this freedom connects to our daily choices. Gratitude pulls you away from leaning on your own understanding where you can end up judging yourself harshly or become confused or even filled with guilt, and instead it invites you to walk and trust. And surrender. It also creates joy no matter the circumstances. When you practice gratitude, you are being a leader for your children. I mean, they get to witness you acknowledging the disappointment, but still exuding the peace that would only come from God. See, I have to admit that. There have been times where I've leaned on myself, my own understanding to wrap my mind around something, and I have found that I have probably become more frazzled, more frustrated, and even more confused, which has led me to snap at my kids and say things that I didn't mean or to even behave in a way that I was not proud of, And that was not a feel good feeling, but when your kids get to witness you having that peace that only comes from God, it honestly changes So how do we practice gratitude when guilt feels natural to us? There are so many ways that you can practice gratitude. One of my favorites, is to start out by journaling. Just one thing that you are grateful for. Honestly, this was so extremely helpful As someone who was an incredibly negative person, and I was just honestly trying to figure out how to not be so overwhelmed by guilt, so it was so simple and it honestly didn't take a lot of my time. What actually made this practice sustainable for me was removing the pressure to sound spiritual. I stopped forcing myself to write down things that sounded quote unquote. Christian, like, you know what I mean? Right. When you feel like your gratitude needs to sound super spiritual for it to count. I know that I've done that many times, and when I started removing that pressure, it made me realize that I can be grateful for God and still enjoy a matcha latte. Now, eventually I began to say why I was grateful for these things,. And then it got to the point where I would write down how this points me back to God. But it was gradual and it was slow. So don't think that you. Need to get to that point right away. If you're not already there. I encourage you if you're starting out, to just take it slow, keep it simple, and enjoy the process., And then do you remember when we were talking earlier on in this episode about the I wish comments that your kids were making about, Things they wish they could have done more this summer. Well, this is that time because other ways that you can practice gratitude is by keeping a little jar of I wishes, where you have them write down the things they wish they could have done more of over the summer. And then when you have a free weekend, shake it up and draw from the jar. Now who gets to draw from that jar is going to be completely up to you if you have more than one kid. You are gonna wanna get creative with this. For me, I have three awesome kids, so I am most likely going to do rock, paper, scissor.'cause that's always something fun that we do and it honestly settles a lot. And then maybe it might be based off of. Performance that week of maybe someone who had really good behavior at school or just did something that was out of their comfort zone and showed a little bit of initiative So that all is gonna get factored into it. And it's really fun. It's really fun because. Meant to be an easy way to hype up an adventure for you and your family. This not only honors their wishes, but it also transforms what could be guilt triggers into opportunities for gratitude, and it builds connection with you and your family, which is the ultimate goal that we're going for here. As we wrap up today's second episode of the transition miniseries, let's remember these key truths that will help you move forward with freedom. Because truth be told, this isn't just for back to school seasons. These topics go far beyond that. So as these truths sink in, I want to encourage you as you enter this back to school season, that our minds naturally review what we missed rather than what we accomplished, especially during transitions. This negative focus robs us of joy and creates unnecessary guilt By becoming mindful of these not enough thoughts, we can challenge them with evidence of what we actually did accomplish. Remember, you are not a bad mom. You're a mom doing her best with the resources and energy you have. And don't forget to practice gratitude to combat the guilt, because gratitude is a powerful spiritual discipline that transforms our perspective. So start small with just one grateful thought daily, and don't pressure yourself to sound, quote, unquote spiritual. Whether it's appreciating a simple matcha latte or turning your children's quote, I wish statements into future opportunities. Gratitude creates space for joy in any circumstance. I truly hope this episode helped you release that unspoken pressure and gets you excited for what is ahead. It's hard to not define yourself by what you didn't do, but. I know that you have the strength to reframe those thoughts and embrace gratitude. Instead, if you would like extra help, don't forget to join my free online community that's linked in the show notes for you, and I would be so honored to walk alongside your journey with you. Alright, mamas, it's time to show up as the mom you want to be and remember, you can do hard things. Thanks for hanging out with me today, mama. If this episode helped you in any way, would you do me a favor and please share it with a fellow mom that could also benefit from this episode. Until then, I'll see you next Wednesday, right here on this podcast. Go in peace.