133 | Stop Competing with Your Past: Find Hope and Release Mom Guilt

Hey Mama!

Does back-to-school leave you feeling behind before you even start? You’re not alone, mama. On this final episode of Transition Mini Series, we’ll talk about how to release mom guilt, stop comparing yourself to a past version of motherhood, and embrace life transitions as a sacred space where God is preparing something new.

Through Scripture and practical encouragement, we’ll reframe the chaos, replace perfectionism with endurance, and take small, steady steps that build a peaceful rhythm for the school year and beyond.

Key Takeaways

• Why back-to-school transitions are not failures but opportunities for God to grow your character and resilience.
• How comparing yourself to your past self creates unnecessary guilt — and how to reframe that mindset through faith.
• Practical ways to embrace God’s new mercies daily so you can walk with confidence, patience, and freedom in this season of motherhood.

If you’re navigating new routines, shifting expectations, or fear of change, this episode will give you biblical encouragement and practical strategies to walk in fresh hope in Christ.

Explore More From The Transition Mini Series:

130 | The Hidden Struggle Moms Don't See Coming When Kids Start School

131 | Did I Do Enough? Escaping The Back-To School Mom Guilt Trap

132 | Overwhelmed By Back To School Chaos? How To Sprinkle Joy Throughout The Year

More FREE Resources:

FREE Community: Break Free From Mom Guilt

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Email: Hello@restoredmindllc.com

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It's time to become to the mom you want to be. Remember, you can do hard things!
"I can do all things through Him who strengthens me"- Philippians 4:13

Transcript

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Does back to school leave you wondering if you've already fallen behind. Maybe you're carrying guilt about what didn't happen this summer, or you're clinging to a past version of yourself that feels impossible to keep up with. Today we're talking about how to see transition, not as failure. But as a sacred space where God is preparing something new. If you've ever wrestled with guilt comparison, or even fear of change, this episode will help you release the pressure and walk into the school year and beyond with fresh hope in Christ. If you are ready to find hope in the chaos and let go of Mom guilt, come join my free online community. Break Free From Mom Guilt. It's a place where Christian moms gather for biblical encouragement to have fun and to receive reminders that every season of transition is a sacred. space where God grows us. So let's grow into the moms that we've always wanted to be. Click the link in the show notes to join. And you know what? I personally cannot wait to give you the biggest warm welcome ever. See you there. Hey Mama. Overwhelmed by Mom Guilt. I'm Caroline Tao, helping Christian moms trade perfectionism for freedom and rest. Welcome to the Restored Mind, where Biblical wisdom meets practical strategies for becoming the mom You've always wanted to be ready. Let's do this. Okay, so I recently went through what I felt like was a slow breakup with my fitness routine. Now, I know that exercise and nutrition is crucial for my health, but I struggled to keep up with it. I mean, I found myself honestly dreading every workout and I was. Consuming more sugar than normal. I mean, if you know me, you know that I have a huge sweet tooth or really sweet teeth. I panicked when I realized that I was falling outta love with my routine Because I thought losing my love for the fitness lifestyle that I built meant that I was losing myself. And I tried to force myself back into old routines thinking that I could control my way back to who I used to be. But what I initially saw was quote unquote falling behind or losing discipline. Which was actually really embarrassing for me to even admit to myself, but all of this was actually God creating space for something new. The discomfort that I was going through wasn't failure. It was my signal that I was ready to evolve, Or really rather, it was that I needed to evolve and instead of fighting to stay the same, I surrendered to the transition and discovered that I needed to let go of forcing myself to look like how I did four years ago. I mean, I was essentially competing with a version of myself that no longer existed. And here's the kicker. I had my own struggles back then too, but I had romanticized my past self and forgotten that my past self was also trying to figure things out.. so what I ended up doing to help me release that comparison mindset that led to guilt was to create a routine that would naturally fit into my everyday life. That meant if workouts around one to two hours long, no longer fit my daily life, then so be it. Let's make that 30 minutes count, or maybe even 40 minutes if I had a little bit of. Extra time. If running daily wasn't a love of mine anymore, then okay, let's cut that down to maybe two days a week, but still keep in the daily walks. It was the freedom that came after resisting this transition that really made a difference and Mama. If I was doing this to myself about fitness, how many of us are doing this as moms when it comes to transitions of any kind? And just like back to school transitions, I was trying to control what God wanted to transform. The quote unquote breakup was actually a sacred space where he was preparing something new and in the moment, I have to be honest, we don't see it as something that is good for us, as you can tell of my resistance to the story I just shared with you. So I wanna talk about that. I wanna talk about recognizing transition as a sacred space because it really is. I mean, instead of seeing the back to school transition as chaos, that you have to manage perfectly, because we know that's not possible. Let's shift our mindset to view it as a sacred space, a season where God is intentionally developing character and resilience in your family. And yes, even in you mama. So yes, the logistics are going to feel overwhelming. The extracurricular activities, the homework, and trying to figure out what's for dinner. It all can get overwhelming but what if those very challenges are actually his leading for growth? Sacred space doesn't necessarily mean that it's going to be easy. It means trusting that God is using the uncertainty and the overwhelm to strengthen you in ways comfort never could. And I have to say that in my experience, growth often requires. Us to step into discomfort on some level. And you know, mom guilt tells us that struggle equals failures. So when transition feels hard, We automatically assume we're doing something wrong, but scripture shows us again and again. That difficulty is often the very signal of growth. Now, lately, my mind has been resting in this verse. It comes from James Chapter one in its verse two and four, it reads, count it All Joy My brothers. When you meet trials of various kinds for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness and let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. There's so much to unpack here. Admittingly, I have not geeked out with you all when it comes to Bible versus in a while. So I'm gonna be doing that on this episode today, I have read this verse many times, but recently I've noticed that James doesn't say if you meet trials of various kinds, but rather when you meet trials of various kinds. And for me, that means that it is going to happen at some point, and we are to remain steadfast in these trials. now the King James version uses the word patience instead of steadfast. I have found that to be so interesting Because patience is a virtue that many of us fail to achieve. Even though we might pray for more patients and then we get tested on it, we'll find that we often find ourselves falling short of achieving a certain level of patience that we've been praying for. It's hard to obtain patience, especially when our natural instinct is to try and escape this uncomfortable moment. I have to say that I did dig into the word patience a little bit, and here's some things that I've learned about it. The ancient Greek word for patience is hupomeme Now, I hope I did not butcher that word up, but if I did, I am so sorry. However, it's so important because I discovered that. Hupomone means to be actively enduring and not actually passively waiting. So hupo means under and meno means to abide or to remain or stay. Essentially it is a cheerful or hopeful endurance, Which is so fitting for this conversation today, especially when we tie it back to James, where he says that your faith produces steadfastness and to let steadfastness have its full effect. So what does this mean for us moms? It means that when the back to school transition feels overwhelming with the schedules, the homework battles, the dinner chaos, or the guilt that you're not handling everything very well, it doesn't mean that you're failing. It means that you're in a very place where the Holy Spirit is leading you that is producing endurance in you. And this season isn't wasted, mama, I just wanna remind you of that, even though it might feel very. Overwhelming in the moment, but it's truly where faith and character are being built and redefined and continued to be refined over the seasons. So if we fight the discomfort instead of trusting the process, then we end up missing the lesson to be learned and the changes to be made. So instead of resisting change, take the pressure off. By just asking God, what new things are you preparing in me and in my family this season? Then intentionally observe the changes that is happening around you And look for ways to adapt with faith and trust rather than frustration. Now that we've reframed our minds to see the transition as a time of hope and endurance, let's talk about one of the biggest traps that can steal that hope, the comparison mindset. And I'm not talking about comparing yourself to other mamas, I'm talking about comparing yourself to your old self. When we look back at who we were, whether it's our routines, our energy levels, or even the way we managed our days previously, it's easy to feel like we are falling short now. I definitely felt that sting when I was losing my love for my fitness routine, reflecting on old habits or past accomplishments only brought stress and frustration. Now, I have to bring this up because I think it's so important. It's really not that looking back is a bad thing. Because the danger isn't reflecting on the past. It's getting stuck in it. Measuring today against yesterday instead of embracing the season that you're in now. And mama, the same thing can happen during the back to school transitions. You might remember the effortless mornings or the quote unquote perfect routines from last year, and it's tempting to feel like you're failing because this year looks different. There's different struggles even within your children, maybe they're growing and learning something new and they just don't quite understand it yet. So homework is taking a little bit longer, and you're probably getting frustrated. I know I'm guilty of this. Or maybe your schedule looks different because extracurricular activity times have changed, and that also affects everything else behind it, like dinnertime or even bathtime and sometimes bedtime. So there's a lot of struggles with new beginnings, but I have to say that it's tempting to feel like you're failing because the year looks different. But remember, this comparison steals your joy and blinds you to the growth that God is already doing in this season. So we can't dwell on what happened last year or rely on the once perfect routine, we have to make adjustments along the way, and every season it's going to have its unique challenges and blessings. So clinging onto the past just blinds us to the gift of now. When we reflect on our old selves, our minds naturally focus on all of the wins and the successes that we've had. While the struggles and the discomfort often fade away from memory. And this analogy actually came to me when I was trying to figure out my new fitness lifestyle. So it brought me back to think about childbirth. We remember the miracle and the joy of our babies, But we don't feel the pain of labor anymore. And in the same way, looking back at your past self can make it easy to forget the struggles that you overcame. And comparing today to a selective memory of yesterday's only steals your joy and the season that you're in now. So when you notice yourself comparing today to your past self or even your past routines, pause and reframe. I want you to ask God, what am I learning in this season that I couldn't have in the last one? Then focus on one small way to embrace the current season, whether it's adjusting your routines, celebrating a small win with your kids or giving yourself grace for what's different this year By intentionally redirecting your thoughts, you can stop competing with the past and start making changes for major wins in the present, and you're setting yourself up for the future as well. So that's a win-win. Another bonus win is that. When you do this, you'll start to feel like yourself again, even if your routine looks a little different Now that we have finally reset our minds to be present, let's. Talk about what's happening moving forward, okay? Because again, we are setting ourselves up for the future. I want you to remember that you don't need to carry guilt from summer into the school year. So walk. Not run into this new season with hope in Christ. Not everything needs to change right away, so remove that pressure. Start small, start slow, and be intentional. It doesn't have to be perfect or figure it out all in the first day or even on the first week. Give yourself grace and let this time. Be one of trial and error for both you and your family. God's mercies are new every morning, and you can find this reminder in Lamentations chapter three, verse 22 and 23. But for me, that means that no matter what yesterday looked like, the mistakes, the overwhelm, the moments where you wish had gone differently. It doesn't matter because today is a fresh start. His mercy gives you permission to begin again on a clean slate. So apply what worked yesterday, tweak what didn't, and move forward without carrying yesterday's guilt. Each small step is part of building the framework for your new normal, and I believe that God is faithful through every adjustment. At the start of each day this week, I want you to pause and ask God to show you one small thing that you can do differently, or one win to celebrate and then track it mentally. Or if you're a journaling person like I am, jot it down in a journal. It doesn't need to be perfect. It doesn't need to be neat, but it gives you something to reflect back on when you are. Thinking that quote unquote, nothing changed because you're so swamped with the frustration and the anger that comes from feeling like you've messed up so many times and you can't get something right. And so by leaning on his mercy daily, you create the space to step confidently into this season trusting him for the rest that is needed. Mama. I had so much fun with this transition mini series, and I hope that this episode encouraged you to be bold and embrace the changes that are ahead. I know that these episodes were geared towards back to school transitions and the chaos that came with it, but I truly believe that any one of these episodes could speak into all types of transitions in your life. So as we wrap up this final episode of the miniseries, I just want to quickly recap what we talked about today. So first we reframed. Back to school transitions as a sacred space, a season where God is growing, character and endurance in you and in your family. Then we talked about the trap of comparing yourself to your past self and how that steals your joy and creates unnecessary guilt. Instead, pause and reframe and embrace the season that you're in. Now and finally, we learned to walk into this new season with hope in Christ, leaning on his daily mercy and starting small, giving ourselves grace as we build this new normal. Now remember, transitions are not. Failures, even though it can feel like you failed, but they're God's way of preparing something new in you and in your family. I hope that you and your little ones have an awesome school year. And mama, remember you can do hard things. Thanks for hanging out with me today, mama. If this episode helped you in any way, would you do me a favor and please share it with a fellow mom that could also benefit from this episode. Until then, I'll see you next Wednesday, right here on this podcast. Go in peace.