The Restored Mind | Mom Guilt, Self Doubt, Biblical Encouragement, Self Forgiveness, Positive Mindset, Motherhood
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Do you constantly feel like you’re falling short—no matter how hard you try?
Are you stuck in a cycle of guilt, frustration, and wishing the hard moments away?
What if the breakthrough isn’t a new routine… but a new way to see yourself—through forgiveness?
Welcome to The Restored Mind Podcast—a peaceful space for Christian moms who want to be the best mom they can be, end guilt, and start a journey of self-forgiveness. If you’re tired of wondering whether you’re doing enough—or feeling like you’re falling short in every area—you’re not alone. Each week, you'll learn small but impactful habit changes that will help you lead your children to know and love God- while growing your own faith along the way.
Hi, I’m Caroline Thao—Jesus follower, wife, and mom who knows what it’s like to feel overwhelmed by expectations that stem from a perfectionist mindset. It led me to try to control everything—and when I failed, I felt the heavy weight of mom guilt. For years, I second-guessed everything: my parenting, my faith, my dreams. I felt torn between being fully present with my kids and pursuing the passions God placed on my heart. Worst of all, I believed the lie that I had to choose one or the other—until I learned to forgive myself so I could finally show up as the mom I wanted to be.
And here’s the good news: you don’t have to live stuck in guilt or strive to be a “perfect” mom.
Through scripture, intentional habits, and faith-filled mindset shifts, I discovered how to let go of guilt and live like the mom God created me to be—not the one guilt kept me stuck as. And now, I want to help you do the same.
Each episode will give you biblical encouragement, simple steps, and easy, attainable habits so you can::
- Break free from mom guilt and the perfectionist mindset that leaves you feeling stuck.
- Walk in confidence in all the roles God has entrusted you without needing to do it all perfectly.
- Lead your children with grace, love, and patience—not pressure.
- Finally becoming the mom you’ve always envisioned yourself to be.
So if you’re ready to stop running on empty and start thriving in your motherhood journey, you’re in the right place. Grab your Bible, invite the Holy Spirit in, and let’s walk this journey together—one peaceful step at a time.
The Restored Mind | Mom Guilt, Self Doubt, Biblical Encouragement, Self Forgiveness, Positive Mindset, Motherhood
141 | Feeling Exhausted By The Holiday Pressure? A Grace‑Led Way To Be Fully Present
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Hey Mama!
Do you ever feel like you can't truly enjoy time with your family because there's always something else you "should" be doing? As a Christian mom, that invisible to-do list can rob you of the very moments you're working so hard to create.
In this episode, we're exploring why joy isn't a luxury you earn after everything's done—it's actually biblical obedience and the source of your strength.You'll discover how the lie that "you can relax once everything is done" keeps you from experiencing God's gift of presence with your family.
Key Takeaways:
- True joy rooted in God gives you strength to keep going, even when life feels overwhelming
- Being present with your family honors God just as much as serving does
- You don't have to do everything in one day or by yourself
Ready to give yourself permission to be fully present this season? Listen to the full episode and follow The Restored Mind for more biblical encouragement.
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It's time to become to the mom you want to be. Remember, you can do hard things!
"I can do all things through Him who strengthens me"- Philippians 4:13
Lately you've been telling yourself you're relaxed once everything is done. But what if joy isn't something that you earn? It's something God is inviting you into right now today. Discover why delighting in the moment honors God just as much as serving does, and what's really keeping you from it. Hey Mama. Overwhelmed by Mom Guilt. I'm Caroline Tao, helping Christian moms trade perfectionism for freedom and rest. Welcome to the Restored Mind, where Biblical wisdom meets practical strategies for becoming the mom You've always wanted to be ready. Let's do this. The Discover Your Mom Guild type quiz has officially launched, and it is a great tool for you to begin understanding your specific guilt type because when you know what is driving that guilt, you can start showing up as the mom you truly want to be. And I am so excited for you to take this quiz. It's super short and very easy to complete. So go and take the mom guilt quiz and start breaking free from Mom Guilt today. The link is in the show notes. Mama. Hello and welcome back. Happy December and welcome back to the Restored Mind. it is so good to be here with you today, mamas. I'm so excited to be back with these biweekly episode releases. It's been a great break, but I've also missed chatting with you every week, and as December is starting, I know that the excitement, the anticipation for Christmas has been building up, or maybe you've already had your Christmas tree up since November. I don't know. Are you that Mama? If you are, let me know in our small community. I will link that in the show notes for you. But I have a question that I want to ask you. have you ever been half in the moment and half in your to-do list? I remember being just like this, um, as I'm thinking about Christmas morning, many years back. I was in the kitchen, washing dishes, cleaning up, or doing something else while everyone else was in the living room opening presents. Now, at the time, my little family and I were living in an apartment, and from the kitchen you could see out into the living room area, but in our family. We opened presents after breakfast. So as the kids rushed to open the presents, I was cleaning up and I thought I was always a part of the gift opening. But there were times where I caught myself wondering if I was really part of that moment. Now, this thought was just a thought in passing, so I didn't think too much of it because essentially I was there when my kids would raise up their gift and say, mom, look. Look what I got. I would respond with excitement, and say something like, wow, that's so cool. So I felt like I was there, but it wasn't until a few years ago when my youngest asked why I was always getting up to go to the kitchen whenever something exciting was about to happen and it just so happened to be Christmas morning again when she had asked me this and it got me wondering, is that what she's going to remember? Everyone enjoying their gifts while I'm serving my family, serving guests, and taking care of other things. That was the moment I realized that I was not intentionally removing myself, but that I felt I could serve better somewhere else. And if you're like me, maybe you've caught yourself in those same moments, too half present, half thinking about the next thing that needs to get done. And here's what I've realized, that pull to serve is not wrong, but when it becomes the reason that we can't fully enter the joy right in front of us, that's when we're missing something God actually invites us into. Because somewhere along the way, many of us mamas have believed the lie that joy has to be earned, that we can relax and be fully present once everything is handled. But what if joy isn't something that we earn? What if delighting in the moment with your family honors God as much as serving them? Does? So today I wanna talk about a truth that can shift how you show up this season, not just as doing all the things, but as the mom who's allowed to enjoy them. So take this episode as your permission to allow you to enjoy these moments with your family. And I know we're only in the beginning of December, but Christmas is going to be fastly approaching us, and we can get lost in the hustle and bustle of the holidays. So if nothing else sticks to you today. I want you to just fully immerse yourself in the moment with your family and give yourself that permission. So the shift that I ended up making this mindset shift that helped me release myself from all of the to-do lists during important moments is to understand that joy is obedience and not a luxury that I earn. So let's talk about what joy actually means, because sometimes we confuse it with happiness or excitement, and joy has this meaning It's a Greek word cara that derives from Caris, which is the Greek word for grace of God. And by the way, I have to disclose that there is a very good chance I am mispronouncing these Greek words. So please extend me the grace and I ask for your forgiveness is as, uh, you are listening to this and you're probably like, that's not how you say it. I promise you I'm not doing it on purpose. And I really just want you to understand the true meaning of joy because it's not just an emotion that comes and goes with our circumstances. Galatians 5 22 says, but the fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. And so as you can see, true joy is the food of the spirit. Deeper than happiness. It's rooted in God's grace and it's not just an emotion that comes and goes with our circumstances. I used to wonder how people would have this composure about them whenever life would just kind of turn, take a turn for the worse or they would be challenged by life's circumstances. And it never really dawned on me that they could potentially have had this true joy that is rooted in God. And it comes from knowing and understanding who he is. And that to me is such a powerful thing to have, to have true joy that's rooted in God, so that we don't think of it as this. Luxury. We think of it as an obedience to honor God when we are present with our family. So we see Nehemiah eight where the people were weeping when they heard God's words, feeling the weight of their failure. And as a mom, I know we have all felt that at some point maybe we didn't understand why our kids were so incredibly clingy to us not wanting anyone else or why they cried so much. Maybe we missed certain events in their life. And maybe we felt guilty. And so that can make us think that we are not a good mom,, but we see in this story too, that instead of God leaving them in guilt, God redirects them towards his joy and his gracious favor and restoration. And that's why Nehemiah chapter eight, verse 10 says. The joy of the Lord is their strength, so he's not simply telling them to cheer up. He's telling them to receive his gracious joy as the source of their strength. So when you enjoy time with your family or you delight in the moment, mama, you are not falling behind or taking quote unquote unnecessary breaks. Not at all. What is happening is that you are experiencing a gift from God that is meant to strengthen you. It gives you the rest that is needed as you continue to serve joyfully and the weight of us feeling like we have failed our family at some point. That gets redirected in our life as we receive that joy, And so when you have true joy, it does not overshadow your shortcomings at all. It actually magnifies the glory and the wonderful awesomeness that is our Lord. And here's what I really want you to hear. Joy is not something you need to earn. Joy is actually nourishment for your soul. It sets your mind and your heart towards Jesus. So to enjoy or to take delight in this moment is nourishment for those things, for your mind and your heart, because you get to experience the joy that is present with you as a gift from God. Oftentimes, we think that these gifts from God need to be something super extravagant, but seeing these little moments as a gift from God. There is just something so beautiful about it that makes you want to cherish it and makes you want to honor it by remembering him and by being grateful that you get to witness and be a part of this moment. Because if I'm honest, that moment won't last long. Being with your family in the time of celebration is just a moment. It's very fleeting. Just as your everyday life. We fight all year round to be with our family and to enjoy the moment and just to sit and relax, and we have all of these things going on in our minds throughout the year that when it comes down to the holidays, we fight really hard to try to spend this time with them. And so let's not take that fight for granted. Let's use the best of what we've got so that we can be in the moment with our family. I am going to share something with you that is probably going to be incredibly relatable, but as a perfectionist. You've probably been living with an invisible rule book with all of these unwritten standards for how your meals should look, how your house should be kept, and how your day should go. It's like you have these boundaries for the plan that is ahead of you, and then when the plan slips or when something unexpected happens, you start to feel like you're falling behind. So. For example, if your child is home sick, you might start to feel like you're falling behind'cause you're not able to complete the tasks that you had already thought up of in your mind the day before or as you sit and. Plan out your week if you are a planner, and you're probably worried about the future as well, especially if you're a mom who's always time traveling, trying to get ahead of yourself in the anticipation of how things might go wrong. So you are making a backup plan for your backup plan and that backup plan. Has a backup plan. You've been hustling to control things that are out of your control by trying to do more today at the expense of your tiredness or the gift of being fully present with your family. And the common lie that most mom believe is that you can relax and enjoy the moment once everything is done. Once it's done, you can just sit and relax and not be bothered by anything else, but the truth is you'll never be done. There will always be something else that you have to do. Now, it's true. There are a lot of things that are on our to-do list, but mama, you don't have to do it all in one day, and you don't have to do it all by yourself. So take the moment and enjoy the time with your family. When you tie your permission to experience joy, to your productivity, or your ability to prevent future problems, whatever it may be, you're missing what God's inviting you into right now in this moment. Sometimes I don't wanna have to get up from my desk to go and see what my daughter created, but I also know that the more times I reject her and saying, I'm busy right now, the less time she'll come and ask me to go see this great thing that she created. And it's very similar. The more times that you end up slipping away, the more your kids are going to notice and. When my daughter asked me why I always have to get up whenever there's something eventful that's happening with the family, that was an eyeopener for me, and I would hope that you don't get to that point because it really does hurt and it really does make you wonder, is this something that my kids going to remember? Because truth is I don't want them to remember me that way. I want them to remember the version of me that was involved in their lives, that was present in the moments, even if they're not always talking to me. It's the presence of us being there that truly matters to them. So how do we live out this God-given joy first, I would challenge you to let other things wait while you are in the moment with your family as they gather this season. What can wait? What is clueing you in for what your family needs right now and what you need right now? Do you absolutely need to wash the dishes? Probably not. Do you absolutely need to go and tidy up somewhere? Probably not. No one is going to notice that the table is still messy, that the dishes are in the sink. They're going to be in the moment, and you're going to miss it if you are not there with them. So just be conscious of the decisions that you are making. Where are you choosing to put your time? Because that moment is fleeting and you don't wanna miss out. All right, mama. As we are wrapping up, here's what I want you to remember. Joy isn't a luxury that you earn after everything's done, okay? It is actually obedience because it is the fruit of the spirit, and you get that joy through obedience this week. Give yourself permission to sit on the floor or on the couch with your kids and just be fully present with them delighting in the moment that honors God just as much as serving does. And that joy that I've been talking about, it's actually what gives you the strength to keep going. So if this episode encouraged you, make sure to follow the show so you don't miss future episodes, especially since the restored mind is slowing down through the rest of the year with biweekly episode releases. I know that it can be hard to have the joy of the Lord as a strength and to be present, especially with the hustle and bustle of all of the holiday chaos. But just know and remember that you can be the mom you want to be. And yes, it gets hard, but you can do hard things. Thanks for hanging out with me today, mama. If this episode blessed you in any way, would you share it with another mom who you think might need this message today? I can't wait to be back with you soon. Go in peace..