143 | How To Stop Feeling Guilty As A Mom And Be Present This New Year

*This episode is part of the Grace Over Guilt Mini Series

Hey Mama!

Feeling the weight of New Year's pressure as a Christian mom? You're not alone. Whether you're a perfectionist setting goals, a comparison mom measuring yourself against others, a past-dweller replaying old mistakes, or a future-worrier anxious about what's ahead—this episode is for you⁠⁠.

Key Takeaways

• How to prioritize presence over perfection this New Year⁠⁠
• Grace-based goal setting that fits your actual season and capacity⁠⁠
• Why inviting God into your goals changes everything⁠⁠

Mama, your worth isn't tied to productivity or achievement—it comes from being chosen by God⁠⁠. This episode offers biblical encouragement to release mom guilt and step into 2026 with faith, peace, and grace.

Ready to break free from New Year's pressure? Listen now, and if you want to understand your specific guilt patterns better, take the Discover Your Mom Guilt Type Quiz.

More FREE Resources:

Take The Quiz: Discover Your Mom Guilt Type

Become a Restored Mind Mama: Sign Up Here

FREE Community:  Break Free From Mom Guilt

Instagram: @_restoredmind

Email: carolinethao@restoredmindllc.com

Leave A Review On Apple Podcast

It's time to become to the mom you want to be. Remember, you can do hard things!
"I can do all things through Him who strengthens me"- Philippians 4:13

Transcript

0:00

What if the pressure to do it all perfectly is stealing the peace You already have this New Year's Eve. You don't need a longer to-do list. You need permission to be present, but how do you actually let go when everything feels urgent? Find out in today's episode. Welcome to the Restored Mind. Biblical wisdom, simple steps. No more mom guilt. I'm Caroline Tao. Let's do this. take the Discover Your Mom Guild quiz, and here is why. Knowing your specific mom guilt type is like having a personalized roadmap to freedom. Instead of guessing why you feel stuck or overwhelmed, you'll finally understand. The patterns that are holding you back, and more importantly, how to break free from them. This is your first step towards becoming the mom you truly want to be. The link to the quiz is in the show notes. Welcome back to the Mind. and happy New Year's Eve. I'm so excited that you're here, but I have a question to ask because can we for a moment talk about pressure for just a second? This time of year used to get under my skin because I felt. Pressured and push to set a new year resolution or really multiple New year resolutions. And then the guilt would hit me when I couldn't keep up with the goals that I've set for myself. For example, one year I said I would grow my faith, and then another year I said I would eat healthier and be a better wife and a better mom, and so on and so forth. This was a cycle I found myself in year after year, and when I tried harder to be able to meet these goals. I felt even worse. Eventually, I had to stop setting these big goals and reflected on how it actually made me feel, and then it finally clicked. I did not need a longer list. I needed to be intentional with what was already in front of me. So whether you are a future warrior mom, a perfectionist, a comparison mom, or a past dweller, if you have no idea what I'm talking about, I am referring to the mom guilt types. And if you are interested and knowing what guilt type you fall under, go and take that quiz that's linked in the show notes for you. But tonight, I want you to take this episode as permission for you to release the pressure and be present with your family this is the last full day of 2025 and I don't want you to miss out on your family as you close out this chapter and walk into the new one in just a few hours. How crazy is that? I mean, I feel like this year flew by and a blink of an eye and it really sped up right after September for me anyway. But I hope that as you are taking the time today to. Spend time with your family that you start Trading the idea of proving yourself for the presence of your family and to notice that God has been with you all along. Yes, even through the hard days throughout the year, because I can almost guarantee that not every single day. Was a good day, and I'm only speaking from experience here anyway. So tonight, let's start with presence. Let any goals for 2026 grow from there. Small, simple, and sustainable. Now let's talk about how we can actually make that happen, because really. You wanna focus on presence over production, And what I mean by that is that your worth and peace comes from God, not your performance. And when I speak of performance, I really mean the goals that you set for yourself or the tasks that seems like it's never ending. Those actionable things are not what sets the standard for how much you're worth, nor does it. Give you any type of peace, all of that comes from God. So it's really not in anything that you are doing because God was with you both in the good and the hard times this year. And I wanna take a moment to talk about Isaiah for a second. Isaiah 41, verse 10 is what I'm going to read. But before I do that, I wanna bring this up and preface it because God chose those whom he chooses. He talks about that in a couple verses before verse 10. And he calls Jacob his servant, He says, Jacob, whom I have chosen the offspring of Abraham, my friend, you know, and we are. Essentially the offspring of Abram because God made a promise to him that he would be a father of many nations. And so anyway, he goes and he talks to Jacob and he says, you are my servant. I have chosen you and not cast you off. So we are. His servants.. And the reason why I bring this up is because our goals don't get to be our masters. They are not who or what we serve presence with God comes first. Goals are just simply tools that can help you walk with him in whatever season you are in. So verse 10 says, fear not for I am with you. Be not dismayed for I am your God. I will strengthen you. I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. And he actually says this, he's talking to Jacob about Israel. And I don't wanna get too much into the theology of it because this episode is actually meant to be a shorter episode since it is New Year's Eve and it's launching on New Year's Eve. I really just want you to understand that this is meant for encouragement to remove the pressure, to do it all perfectly, to remove the pressure, not to fail or to have struggles, because essentially we're gonna run into them or to not even worry about the past, it means to stop comparing your results to someone else's and focus on him while working through the goals, which are essentially just habit changes. Because the truth is we have to change our habits in order to keep the goals that we've set for ourselves. And a lot of times we can feel like we're falling behind because we think that we need to be at a certain milestone marker by a certain time. But the reality is that because the key to reaching your goals are habit changes, sometimes it takes us a little bit longer to make these changes become something that is more natural to us. So with that being said, when goals become the masters. Of our life, pressure builds up and mom guilt shows up like this, so if you are a perfectionist mom, you probably say something like, if it isn't perfect, if I don't get it just right, then I've failed. Or if you're a future warrior mom, you might say something like, well, what if I can't keep this up? What if I set this goal and I just can't keep up you know, you start worrying about all the little things, and if you're a comparison mom, you might say something like, I can't believe she's ahead. I should have started a long time ago. I'm falling behind and I don't even know if it's worth it to start now. A past dweller mom might say something like, man, I always blow. It doesn't matter how many goals I've set, I've always failed and I'm gonna fail again. It's almost like she is already using her past experience to condemn her for what she's capable of here and now. And so when you practice the intentional act of being present in the moment, focusing your eyes on God, focusing on your family, it interrupts that cycle so you can receive grace and actually enjoy time with your family. And so the question is how do we do this? So I wanna start off by saying that goals are not a bad thing because It's a great tool to help you, but it is not something that controls you. When you set your goals from a place of grace, there is this immense amount of calm and peace that washes over you. I don't know about you, but I used to have a list of goals. I'm talking about seven to 10 things that I really wanted to do in the year that was coming, and I eventually would finish absolutely none of'em because they were. Exhausting to do, and I just did it from a perfectionist perspective versus from a place of grace Keeping goals as a tool is such a helpful way to better yourself, to grow yourself and to challenge yourself. It's not something that controls you. So when I talk about grace based goal setting, it's such an important thing for us to do as moms because it helps us build trust with ourself and it builds the momentum that we want to keep going throughout the year without triggering any guilt spirals. They fit into your season of life and your capacity. So the bandwidth that you have to make the habit changes that are needed, because remember, goal setting. Is essentially habit changes that need to happen in order for you to meet these goals. So when you do it from a place of grace, you're taking into account what your time looks like, what you're truly willing to commit to, and if it's the right fit for the season that you're in right now. So how does this work? I would encourage you that when you are ready to plan, maybe that's tomorrow or later this week, you don't have to rush yourself into this. Write out one to three goals max, and then run them through these three questions, and I really want you to think through them. The first one is, is this realistically doable in my season? The next question is, can I truly commit to this? Is this something that I am willing to make these different habit changes and decisions in order for me to meet these goals? So if you're just talking to your girlfriends and everyone's saying, I should eat healthier for 2026, and you're jumping on that bandwagon, but without having the intentional time to think through it. You might find that by February you're gonna go right back to whatever was comfortable for you before. And so I'm not saying that none of these things are. Possible. All I'm saying is that the intentionality you've put behind setting the goals makes the biggest difference. And then the last question that I want you to ask is, will I invite God into this space? And I have to be honest with you, but when I had my fitness journey, and I'm only referencing fitness because it's. Usually the number one thing that people have this New Year's resolution over. And so I'm thinking maybe it might relate, but if not, there's something in the story that I think you can take with you. If I told you the ugly truth, it would've been that I did not truly invite God into that space, into my fitness journey. And what happened was I became very self engulfed with myself. My intention behind working out was for vanity purposes. I wanted to look like a very, very attractive mom. But I became my own worst enemy by picking apart everything about my body and when it did not progress in the times. That I gave it, I became even meaner to myself. I was not a kind person to myself. And so all of that changed when I finally truly invited God into my fitness journey, realizing that this is not something that was gonna happen, and maybe even a year or two, the goal that I had set for myself was so big that I needed to start taking. Bite-size pieces out of that. And so whatever your goals look like, I encourage you to invite God into it you might find yourself feeling lost at times. Becoming frustrated to the point where you want to give up. Now, I'm not saying that that didn't happen to me, but I do know that there is a steadfastness. There is a consistency that I have found when I invited God into the spaces that. I wanted to grow, in, and he continues to be a part of that. And you know, I truly believe that it bleeds into everything that we do. And so those are the three questions that I would encourage you to ask yourself and really sit through and think through. And then as you get started in making these changes towards a goal, whatever it may be, Just think about what is one tiny habit that you can do. It does not need to be an overhaul of your entire life. It just needs to be one small, grace-filled bite-sized habit that you can continuously do and build from there. So it doesn't have to be complicated. It doesn't have to be something that is a sprint, right? We're talking about simple, small, and sustainable here. So remember. Presence comes first and then your goals come second. All right, mama. So as we are nearing the end of this episode, remember to keep God first. Be present in the moment. Your worth is not given to you by what you can do or how much you have done. It is given to you because God chooses you. Goals are your tools, so don't let the hype around New Year's resolution pressure you into setting disingenuous goals. Be intentional with it, and hey, if you end up setting a goal months later in 2026, that's fine too. It's never too late to start whatever you do. Be intentional, be present, and continue to invite God into your life. Alright mama. Let's become the mom that we want to be. And I know it can be hard, but you can do hard things. Thanks for hanging out with me today, mama. If this episode helped you in any way, would you do me a favor and please share it with a fellow mom that could also benefit from this episode. Until then, I'll see you next Wednesday, right here on this podcast. Go in peace.