144 | Why Mom Guilt Makes You Wait For The Perfect Moment To Start

*This episode is part of the Grace Over Guilt: Reset & Refocus Mini Series

Hey Mama!

Are you waiting for the perfect conditions before you finally start becoming the mom you want to be? What about meeting any of goals you've been meaning to get around to?

We're kicking off the Grace Over Mom Guilt mini series with this episode. If you're a perfectionist mom holding yourself to impossible standards or a future worrier paralyzed by "what ifs," you know the trap: waiting for the right moment when the kids aren't sick, when you're not exhausted, when everything finally aligns⁠⁠. But that perfect moment is what keeps you stuck, always feeling behind, always feeling like you've already blown it⁠⁠.

In this episode, you'll discover how God's mercies are new every single morning—not just on January 1st⁠⁠. 

Key Takeaways:

• One small, faithful step today matters more than waiting on idea circumstances
• God's faithfulness makes transformation possible.

Ready to break free? Listen now, or take the Discover Your Mom Guilt Type Quiz to understand the specific patterns keeping you stuck.

Mentioned Episode(s):

142 | Finding Peace When Christmas Feels Overwhelming

More FREE Resources:

Take The Quiz: Discover Your Mom Guilt Type

FREE Community: Break Free From Mom Guilt

Become a Restored Mind Family Member: Sign Up Here

Instagram: @_restoredmind

Email: Hello@restoredmindllc.com

Leave A Review On Apple Podcast

It's time to become to the mom you want to be. Remember, you can do hard things!
"I can do all things through Him who strengthens me"- Philippians 4:13

Transcript

0:00

Are you feeling behind before you even start, like you've already missed your chance for a fresh beginning. What if the pressure to get it all right is actually keeping you stuck? That's right. Let's talk about it Welcome to the Restored Mind. Biblical wisdom, simple steps. No more mom guilt. I'm Caroline Tao. Let's do this. I want you to do something that could totally change the game for you. I want you to take the Discover Your Mom Guilt quiz, and here's why. When you finally understand your specific mom guilt pattern, you stop spinning your wheels, trying every solution out. There and start focusing on what actually works for you. It's like having a roadmap instead of wandering in the dark, which is going to save you a lot of time because mama, it's time to break free from mom guilt. Take the quiz today. The link is in the show notes. All right. Welcome back mamas. I'm so glad to have you here with me today. It is officially 2026. Did your holiday break fly by? Because I know that mine did, but I'm so happy to also be back because we are now. On our weekly release schedule again, which means no more biweekly episodes, but I do wanna thank you for giving me the grace to be able to do the biweekly releases during the holiday break. It was such a good time. For me to be intentional with my kids and their school activities and us just being at home and enjoying time together, and I hope that you are able to spend time with your family as well. And you're ready to kickstart the new year because I am bringing back the Grace Over Guilt mini series. I did do one over the summer. Now, I had such a fun time doing that, that I wanted to bring it back. Only this time I wanna highlight on something else. And for this mini series, we are going to be talking about what resetting and refocusing means. Because this time of year, many of us mamas feel the pressure to set a New Year's resolution and to meet it. And then when we don't, the guilt spirals. So have you ever seen. Or heard of those memes that would say something like, I've made my New Year's resolution and I've already failed, and it's like the second week of January, or something along those lines. I always found those memes to be so incredibly funny because that used to be me. I used to be that girl that would set a New Year's resolution. And then by the second week or third week of January, I'm falling off track so there was a year when my husband and I got sick, new Year's Eve, and it carried us well into January. We were that couple that would discussions and try to set goals at the end of December for our New Year's resolution, and we would set it and just. See how long we could keep aiming towards that particular goal that we've set throughout the year. Well, this particular time I remember feeling behind because the list was not yet created. We were so sick we didn't even talk about what we wanted to do in the new year. So the list was not yet created. We didn't even prepare for anything like mentally preparing ourselves for the habit changes or gearing ourselves up for the goals that we wanted to meet. And so the longer that we stayed sick, the more I felt like. I was just feeling more behind. I felt like the time gap would start to get further and further away, and so the pressure was building up. I remember feeling rushed to get started, even though I had absolutely no idea what I wanted to do. But see, here's what I did not understand at the time. It was that I was waiting for the perfect moment to start fresh, meaning I was waiting for my body to recover. I was waiting for that clean, slated feeling where I'm feeling motivated and just ready to get started, and I was waiting. For the right day on the calendar, which for me was January 1st, because I thought a fresh start only came once a year, and if I missed it, well then I would have to wait until next January because I've already fallen behind. It was honestly this all or nothing mentality that held me back and kept me stuck. But Mama, what if I told you that fresh starts don't work that way? What if the pressure you're feeling to get it all right, right now is actually robbing you of the daily grace and mercy that God is already giving You see, God offers you a fresh start every single morning, not just on January 1st. Lamentations chapter three, verse 22 and 23 says, the steadfast love of God never. Ceases. His mercies never come to an end. They are new every morning. Great. Is your faithfulness. And I was reading from the English standard version, by the way, in case you were wondering. And I have to also point out that the footnote here for the words ceases says, because of the steadfast love of the Lord, we are not cut off. And so I wanna pause and talk about steadfast love and mercy for just a moment because they are a whole game changer. I mean, trust me, I am still wrapping my mind around this, so it's so amazing to me how mighty God is, and I have to be honest and admit that sometimes I put him in a box so that I can try to comprehend him. But I have. Realize that he cannot be contained. And so steadfast love is the Hebrew word hesed, which I know I am not saying it right, and it's not to be disrespectful to the language, but it's hard for me to say these words, so please give me the grace and mercy, but the meaning of steadfast love in the Hebrew word, it is not. Just God is being nice to you. It is a covenant kind of love. It's the kind of love that says, I'm committed to you. Even when you blow it, even when you start strong in January and fizzle out by February, even when you snap at your kids or you forget to meal plan or you feel like you're failing, for whatever reason, God is still here. Which also brings me back to our Christmas episode where I highlight the meaning of Emmanuel God with us. Like it's so amazing. None of this is by mistake, and so his steadfast love, it is a covenant kind of love. One that. He does not break because as Jeremiah writes here in verse 23, great is your faithfulness. And the word mercies is rahim, and it comes from the word womb, which is God's tender compassion towards you. Just like you as a mom, when you had your baby in your womb, there was this compassionate love that you had for your child and you hadn't even held them yet. But as they grow and as you hold them for the first time. There's this unspeakable kind of love that it's hard to describe. My youngest daughter, she's always asking me if I love her, and the answer's always yes. And then she'll ask me, how much do you love me? And it's hard to explain even when I say so much. That doesn't even begin to cover just how much I love her. And so God's mercies, his covenant love and his steadfastness is much, much more than that, and it's such a beautiful thing to have his mercy and his steadfast love over us because he looks at us not with tolerance or disappointment, but every single morning with fresh compassion. And so, mama, I have to ask you, how many times do you genuinely look at yourself in the mirror with fresh compassion? I mean, how hard is it to do that? I know for me that's incredibly hard because I can pick apart all of my flaws. Even when I do something that I would be proud of, I can still pick it apart and think maybe I could've done something more, or maybe I could have changed something that would've given me a quote unquote, better result. Right? I mean, I don't always look at myself with fresh compassion in the way that God does and how we look at our kids every morning when we greet them with gentleness and kindness and we're just so filled with this joy to be with them, to greet them in the morning. That's how God greets us. And the sad thing is I don't think a lot of us are greeting ourselves with that fresh compassion. so that right there in of itself. Should highlight how wonderful and compassionate our father in heaven is. So when this verse says His mercies are new every morning, it means God isn't withholding his mercy until you get it right. He's not waiting for you to prove yourself before he pours out his compassion. Every morning. He's giving you his steadfast, loyal love and his tender mercy and that. Is where your fresh start comes from. Not from your perfect plans, but from his faithfulness. And let's be real. Sometimes when we plan things perfectly, it doesn't always go like that, And here's why this matters so much for you, mama. If you're a perfectionist mom, you've already got that in internal scorecard going, you're thinking, well, I didn't start on January 1st, so I've already messed up. Or if you're a future warrior mom, you're spiraling and you're asking yourself, well, what if I can't keep up with this? What if I fail again like I did last year? And again, if you're unsure of which mom guilt type you are, go take that quiz that I've set up for you. It is in the show notes. It's completely free and super easy and simple to get through. And then there's this pressure that begins to paralyze you. It makes you feel like you're stuck waiting for that perfect moment, for example, when the kids aren't sick or when you're not exhausted, when everything finally aligns somehow, that's when you'll get started. But that perfect moment again is what's keeping you stuck, and when you're waiting for that. You're missing out on what God's already given you right now. He's not saying, Hey, get your act together. Then come to me. His mercies are new this morning, today. So come as you are and start where you are. But don't stay as you are, be changed. Be willing to take that first step and we'll talk about that in a little bit. But when you keep waiting for the perfect conditions, you're actually rejecting the mercy that God is offering you, and that is what's keeping you stuck in this cycle of guilt, always feeling behind, always feeling like you've already blown it, always feeling like you're waiting for the perfect. Weather, the perfect condition, the perfect whatever it may be. You're just always going to be waiting. And before you know it, you start to feel like you never got started. And then when you do get started, you find yourself rushing through everything. So here's what I want you to do to slow things down, to remember God's mercies every morning What I want you to do is tomorrow morning, before you even get out of bed, I want you to thank God for his mercies that are new today. That's it. Just one grateful sentence. And the reason why I want you to do this is because I want you to start your day with a renewed mind and heart, and have your eyes set on him instead of letting the voice of guilt tear you down at the start of your day. And then once you do that. Ask yourself, what is one small faithful step that I can take today? And it does not need to be a perfect step. It doesn't even need to be Pinterest worthy because what I want this faithful step to do for you is to make sense for what is in your life. Pinterest cannot. Tell you what your life looks like right now. Only you can evaluate what that looks like and how you can move forward. It's just gonna give you ideas, but if the ideas that it's giving you seem impractical in a moment, then it's not the right one. So if you need to use it as a tool, then by all means go for it. But really the point of this exercise is for you to evaluate without any social media influence. What do you need to do today to get you to become the mom that you want to be? And so if that looks like opening the Bible for maybe five minutes and reading, or choosing to speak kindly to yourself when you've messed up and you're picking yourself apart. Maybe it's texting a friend that you trust to ask for prayer instead of pretending that you have it all together. I know that that can be really hard to do because it puts us in a vulnerable place, but if you have a friend that you can reach out to I would encourage you to reach out to them because it's not only about asking for prayer, but now it's about accountability. So maybe you do need to take accountability, and that would be a great way for you to check in with each other, maybe once a week to see how you're doing. And finally, maybe it's taking that 10 minute walk and enjoying and noticing God's creation instead of mentally rehearsing your to-do list. Because if you keep yourself inside the four walls that you live in, you could get a little stir crazy. Trust me, I've been there, done that. It's not fun. You start to feel like your home gets a little bit more cramped, but stepping outside, breathing in that fresh air, being outside with God's creation. It gives you a mental break. It also. resets your mind and your mood and. It just feels good overall, so I would encourage you to take that 10 minute walk. Now, remember, you don't have to do everything that I've listed today. I would encourage you to pick one to two things and let that be. The start of your day, or at least at some point in your day to do that. Because the whole point of this is to remember that his mercies are new every morning. It's not just on January 1st or when you finally get it right, but it's really about building these intentional habits that become more like muscle memory. Maybe you've already had something going on in the previous year and you just want to improve. That can be a goal too. Fresh starts can happen anytime. God's mercies are brand new every single morning, which means today is your chance to begin again. You don't need perfect conditions or a flawless plan to step into the mom that you want to be. His faithfulness is what makes it possible, not what you can do. Not that you should diminish what you can do, but just know that. Out of his faithfulness, you can be transformed into who you would like to be. So tomorrow morning, remind yourself his mercies are new today. Take one small faithful step, whatever that may be.. And I know that it can be hard, but you can do hard things. Thanks for hanging out with me today, mama. If this episode helped you in any way, would you do me a favor and please share it with a fellow mom that could also benefit from this episode. Until then, I'll see you next Wednesday, right here on this podcast. Go in peace.