146 | God's Grace For The Mom Who Feels Behind

*This episode is part of the Grace Over Guilt: Reset & Refocus mini series

Hey Mama!

Do you feel like you're constantly falling behind—like no matter how hard you try, you're stuck replaying the ways you didn't measure up?

You're mentally replaying moments and conversations to find what you "should've" done differently⁠⁠, and you keep comparing yourself to the mom you used to be before everything felt so hard⁠. That weight is exhausting, mama.

In this episode, you'll discover:

• How to redefine "good enough" through grace
• Why God's work in you is ongoing
• 3 practical steps to stop competing with your past self

This is biblical encouragement for the Christian mom who needs to hear: progress over perfection, faith over fear, and grace over guilt in motherhood.

Listen now, or take the Discover Your Mom Guilt Type Quiz to find personalized freedom strategies.

Grace Over Guilt: Reset & Refocus Playlist:

144 | Why Mom Guilt Makes You Wait For The Perfect Moment To Start

145 | What to Do When Your New Year Goals Start To Feel Boring

More FREE Resources:

Take The Quiz: Discover Your Mom Guilt Type

FREE Community: Break Free From Mom Guilt

Become a Restored Mind Family Member: Sign Up Here

Instagram: @_restoredmind

Email: Hello@restoredmindllc.com

Leave A Review On Apple Podcast

It's time to become to the mom you want to be. Remember, you can do hard things!
"I can do all things through Him who strengthens me"- Philippians 4:13

Transcript

0:00

You keep competing with your past self thinking. I used to be better at this, but what if that comparison is the very thing keeping you stuck? Here's the shift that changes everything. Welcome to the Restored Mind. Biblical wisdom, simple steps. No more mom guilt. I'm Caroline Tao. Let's do this. Ready to discover what's really driving your mom guilt. Take the Discover Your Mom Guilt quiz. It's the first step to understanding your unique guilt patterns so you can finally start breaking free. When you know your type, you'll stop spinning your wheels and start making real progress towards becoming the mom you want to be. The link is in the show notes. Mama. Alright. Welcome back. We are going to continue diving into the Grace Over Guild miniseries, where I'm helping you release the pressure that stems from setting a New Year's resolution and when I say New Year's resolution, I mean goals, the goals that you've set and intended on keeping. But life happens and sometimes we either meet these goals or we don't, and when we don't, guilt can creep in on US mamas and begin to make us think, or at least second guess ourselves about all the things that we have done. And even if we do meet these goals, sometimes the guilt stems from what you sacrifice to get to where you're at. So maybe you sacrifice time with your family, you put that on hold so that you can achieve something else. Now, last week we talked about what to do when motivation dies, and in today's episode, we are going to shift the perspective on the fact that good enough maybe isn't so bad after all. So let's break free from it by jumping right back into this Grace Over Guilt mini series. See, the thing is, I'm a perfectionist by nature. And those of you who know me in real life know that I'm a visionary. Usually when I am planning a party or there's like a theme of something that's going on, I am usually the one to. Pinterest a bunch of inspiration, and then in my head, I want it executed perfectly. So when I plan things or when I set out to do things, I do it with a perfectionist mindset. Now, becoming a mom was honestly a rude awakening for me'cause that was the wake up call that made me realize not everything is in my control. Well, let me clarify here. I knew that I couldn't control a lot of things, but living it out as a mom in real time was a completely different ball game. There are countless times where I can recall my husband telling me, Hey, it's okay when something doesn't go as planned, or when he saw that I was extremely overwhelmed and overstimulated. He would pat his hand on the couch and he would tell me to come sit next to him. Now, honestly, I certainly did not heed to those gestures, even though looking back, I should have taken him up on his offer. And the reason why is because when I ignored. That kind gesture to just take a moment and sit down. I found myself hitting a wall over and over and over again because out of my perfectionist mindset, I couldn't rest until things were done perfectly. And so I hit many walls before I realized that progress is better than perfection. And you know, maybe you've hit a few walls too. Maybe you're stuck in that same cycle, replaying moments where you think that you didn't measure up or you're beating yourself up over resolutions that didn't quite stick this past year. Now here's what I have learned. God is not asking us to be perfect. He's asking us to be willing. In Philippians one, six reminds us that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion. And I'm gonna dive into that later on in this episode. But I just wanna say that that means that you are someone who is. Very much so loved. Okay. You are a work in progress, and that's exactly where God meets you. So today I wanna walk you through how to choose quote unquote, good enough without the guilt and how to stop competing with your past self. Because the truth is you don't have to be who you were last year or even last week to move forward. So let's talk about what that actually looks like because it's time Mama, for you to move away from beating yourself up to Grace defined good enough. And now this is where you release all the should haves and could have thoughts where you begin to tell yourself. If you did something different, you could have reached your goals. The thing is, you cannot embrace the good enough mindset while carrying the weight of what you're naming as failure. So if that's you, if you are continuing to carry the weight of whatever it is you're naming as a failure, I want you to think about this, okay. You can either look at good enough through a flesh lens, which means you believe the words good enough means you're missing something that could take you to the next level. Like you could have done more and because you didn't, you reap the repercussions of that Or you can look at it from a faith lens that says, you know that you're going to fall short at times. Or maybe every day, but it's also resting in the peace that Jesus fills that gap for you. I highly recommend looking at it from a grace defined perspective because it removes the pressure of doing everything perfectly and from feeling like you are somehow falling behind. See, God does not measure your worth based off of your works. He doesn't expect perfection. And remember I brought up Philippians one six earlier. As a reminder, Paul says, I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ. Now, before I move on, I have to contextually explain what's happening here. Because I don't want you to get confused,, and I definitely don't want to be misleading. So contextually, Paul is grateful for his friendship and the support that he's receiving from the Philippians who helped him spread the gospel. Now, this particular verse, Paul expresses is his belief and his confidence that God will complete the gospel work that he set out to do. But here's this beautiful reminder that we can draw from this. God finishes what he starts. So whether it's the work of the gospel going out into the world or the work of transformation that he's doing in you as a mom, he is not going to abandon his work. Charles Spurgeon is someone who I enjoy listening to. I enjoy listening to his old sermons and he asked a question in one of his sermons titled The Perseverance of the Saints, and that question is. Where is there an instance of God beginning any work and leaving it incomplete? Now, I don't know about you, mama, but I cannot think of one. So when you look at your life and you see all the ways that you're still growing, you're still learning and still falling short because yes, that happens. It's part of life. This is all evident that you are not failing or falling behind. You are a work in progress The same God who is faithful to complete the gospel work is faithful to complete the work of transforming you into the mom you want to be. And yes, it takes time. It does take effort and work on your part. Yeah, but he's still working in you patiently and lovingly caring for you. Now, my hope is that once you reach that ideal transformation of becoming the mom that you want to be, whatever that looks like for you, that you would not stop there, and that you would continue to want to grow even more as you get to these different phases in your motherhood journey and I say that because I believe that God's work is very transformative, but it's also continuous. And when we continue to grow and continue to transform and abide in him, there's just so much blessing that happens. And the way that you love is different. The way that you view life is different and there's just so much peace within all of it. So I have three steps to share with you on how you can get started today. Yes, mama. You can get started on making this change today. The first one is to name the failure and release it. Whatever you're labeling as a failure, I want you to think about. In that moment, what was the lesson learned? This could be anything. You know, maybe it was you realize that you can't do it all, which is great because now you can take that lesson and move forward, making adjustments along the way. The second step is to redefine the standard from which you are operating in that lesson that you learn is going to be a part of this redefined standard. You already realize, okay, me trying to do everything, it doesn't work. So let's see what is the most important thing that I wanna focus on? And then we'll go out from there. And that would be redefining the standard. And the last one is to live it out. You have to be able to live it out to see this transformation happen. So give yourself permission to do what fits this season, not what was possible last season. Many of us mamas tend to live in the past and compete with our past selves. We think about when we used to be able to do something without the challenge of what we're facing today, and that's what hinders you from the growth that you want to see happen. It's very interesting. I've noticed this about myself too, but I would think about how I used to be able to do something and what immediately comes to my mind as to why I can't do it. Today is because of my current challenges and I bring my past and it clashes with what is in front of me today, and then I continue to live in that past. Now, I have to say that it is also a good thing for you to celebrate that past season because it was a good season and it makes sense why you would wanna go back there, but. It is time to look ahead and move forward with what is happening now. So practice saying, this is good enough, and remember it from a grace defined perspective. The words good enough is not necessarily a bad thing, it's in how you are looking at it. And again, I highly recommend looking at it from a faith lens. Now I know that you've been carrying the weight of what could have been and replaying all the ways you think you didn't measure up, but here's the shift that I want you to walk away with today. You are not a failure. You are a work in progress and. God is actively working on you even when you think he is not okay, mama. You don't have to compete with your past self anymore. You can be the mom You want to be right here, right now in this season. All right? You can do hard things. Thanks for hanging out with me today, mama. If this episode helped you in any way, would you do me a favor and please share it with a fellow mom that could also benefit from this episode. Until then, I'll see you next Wednesday, right here on this podcast. Go in peace.