167 | Mom Guilt That Won't Quit Even After You Pray

Hey Mama!

It's 10 PM. The kids are finally asleep, and you're lying there replaying the moment you snapped at bedtime, the look on their face, the way your voice got sharp. You already apologized. You already prayed about it. So why does your brain keep running it back?

If I really believed God forgave me, this wouldn't still feel so heavy.

If that's the thought keeping you up, this short episode is for you. We're talking about self-forgiveness and the lie hiding underneath the replay loop that keeps so many moms stuck in "I'm such a bad mom."

Here's the truth we unpack: guilt coming back doesn't mean grace didn't work. It usually just means your feelings haven't caught up to what God's Word already says is true.

In this episode we'll talk about:

• Why bedtime guilt circles back and what it's actually telling you
• The difference between punishing yourself into "better tomorrow" and walking in grace
• 3 simple things to do the next time guilt hits at 10 PM (anchored in Psalm 51:10)

If you keep replaying your hardest mom moments, the Discover Your Mom Guilt Quiz will help you name exactly what's going click below to take the quiz.

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Take The Quiz: Break Through Mom Guilt Quiz

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FREE Community:  Break Free From Mom Guilt

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Email: carolinethao@restoredmindllc.com

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It's time to become to the mom you want to be. You can do hard things!
"I can do all things through Him who strengthens me"- Philippians 4:13

Transcript

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It's 10:00 PM and the kids are finally asleep. You already apologized for how you snapped at bedtime or maybe even earlier in the day, and you already prayed about it, so why is your brain still playing it back like a really bad reality TV show that you can't seem to turn off? If God forgave you the first time you asked, why does it feel like you can't seem to forgive yourself? Listen in because there is something you need to hear Welcome to The Restored Mind, biblical wisdom for Christian moms who are tired of guilt, tension, and feeling divided. Here, we build a woven life with peace, growth, and connection. I'm Caroline Tau. Let's do this The struggle is real, especially for the past dweller mom. and if you don't know whether or not you're a past dweller mom, go take the Discover Your Mom Guilt quiz. It's linked to the show notes for you Hello and welcome back. My hope is that you are encouraged by today's episode. So today's short episode highlights the topic of self-forgiveness, and this is something so many of the moms that I work with struggle with. And it's usually not about the small things like, "Oh, I forgot to put away the shoes or fold the laundry." It's more so on an emotional scale. It's usually after a really long, hard day when you end up snapping at your kids, and then you see the immediate reaction on their face. And you know that moment stays with you. So bedtime is where the replay loop actually happens. It's also where mom guilt seems to scream the absolute loudest so I wanna talk about the lie that is hidden behind the replay loop when we're reflecting on our day. Because it's not that you didn't apologize or that you didn't pray, because you know you did these things already. But the lie underneath it is this, "If I really believed God forgave me, this wouldn't feel so heavy." And when we say that to ourselves, we think that there's this instant relief that we're going to feel, like one prayer should erase the weight But there's a grieving period that we have to allow ourselves to walk through. You have to give yourself time to decompress and recognize that was not my best moment. And we know that sometimes we just react out of being overstimulated, exhausted, or frustrated from repeating ourselves several times. Recognizing the truth is incredibly important because guilt coming back doesn't mean grace didn't work. It just means your feelings haven't caught up to the words God already says is true. This is especially loud for the past dweller mom, the one who replays the moment and names herself by it. So she's saying something like, "I'm such a bad mom," or, "I'm always the yelling mom." And secretly, she wants to be the fun mom. Perfectionist moms and comparison moms definitely go through this too. And the thing is, when the past dweller mom is going through this, she quietly punishes herself into being better tomorrow. And then it begins to feel like she's never going to get there because the desperation to try and be better tomorrow is exactly what's keeping her stuck. There's a pivotal moment from episode 122, where I shared my experience with this. I talked about how I believed in grace emotionally, but I still thought I had to prove myself mentally. And the more I anchored myself in scripture and truth, the more my mind began to catch up. Because real transformation doesn't start with feelings. It starts with renewing our minds with the word of God. So the gap between what God's word says is true and what your feelings keep replaying, that is not a faith problem. That is a renewing problem. Scripture even says the heart is deceitful above all things, so we have to lead with God's word even when our feelings are slow to catch up. Anchoring in Psalms 51:10 is a beautiful reminder of what David says, because he says, "Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me." Now notice David didn't say erase. He says renew. And renewal, mama, is something that is ongoing. So you don't renew once and then you're fixed. You have to continuously go back to the one who feeds you daily and gives you this renewal, the spiritual renewal, the mind renewal. So the next time guilt comes back at 10:00 PM right before bed, do these three things. First, I want you to pause. Don't argue with the thought you're having, and don't try to work your way out of it. Just pause and think. And then I want you to remind yourself of the gospel because God's grace is sufficient for the day. And then finally, I want you to ask yourself, am I responding to guilt by labeling myself as a bad mom or the yelling mom? Or am I walking in grace knowing that, yes, there's still work that needs to be done, but that doesn't mean that I'm starting all over again. And mama, the guilt coming back again does not mean that you have failed. It just means you get another chance to choose grace, and that is not weakness. That is your obedience to the Lord and how you are being discipled. So if you want to know the full story behind this, including the morning I forgot to feed my own kids breakfast, yes, that really happened, go take a listen to episode 122. I'll link that in the show notes for you. All right, so that wraps up today's short episode. I know that you're striving and working hard to become the mom that you want to be, and yes, it can be hard, but as I always say, you can do hard things Thanks for spending time with me today, mama. If this episode encouraged you, would you share it with another mom who needs it too? And don't forget to hit follow so the next time a new episode drops, it's waiting for you. Until next time, go in peace