166 | Doing Everything Right but Still Can't Rest, Mama?

Hey Mama!

You're doing all the right things. Keeping it together, working through the never-ending to-do list, showing up for everyone who needs you, and somehow you still feel tense, rushed, and a little behind.

And underneath it all is that quiet thought: I can't slow down right now. If I let any of this go, it's all going to fall apart.

Maybe you've even caught yourself believing everyone else seems to be handling this so much better than you. But mama, that pressure isn't proof you're failing. It's a signal worth listening to.

In this episode, we gently look at what happens when good intentions quietly start running on pressure instead of peace, and how to feel the difference before it steals your rest.

Here's what you'll walk away with:

• How to catch the moment your "keeping it together" turns from peace into pressure
• Why your self-worth was never something you had to earn by doing more
• A simple, in-the-moment way to come back to who God already says you are

Anchored in 2 Corinthians 12:9, this is a soft, honest reminder that you're not auditioning for your worth. It's already yours.

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It's time to become to the mom you want to be. You can do hard things!
"I can do all things through Him who strengthens me"- Philippians 4:13

Transcript

0:00

Have you ever had a day where you're doing all the right things, like showing up, staying consistent, keeping it together, but inside you still feel tense? You feel rushed, and somehow you feel behind. What if the problem isn't what you're doing, but what you're trying to prove while you do it? Stay with me because we're diving into that right now Welcome to The Restored Mind, biblical wisdom for Christian moms who are tired of guilt, tension, and feeling divided. Here, we build a woven life with peace, growth, and connection. I'm Caroline Tau. Let's do this Here's what I want you to do. If today's episode perked your ears up and you started agreeing with what I said, then that is your cue to go take the Discover Your Mom Guilt quiz because it's going to help you name exactly what is fueling it. You'll see your pattern, whether you're the perfectionist, comparison, or past dweller mom. And once you can name it, then you can begin to interrupt it. Hello, hello. Welcome back, mamas. I'm so excited to have you here today. If you're new, It is a pleasure to have you in this space today of The Restored Mind. So today's episode is gonna be so fun because we are going to be diving into the conversation of living for your identity versus from it. And I know that this is something I struggled with in many areas of my life, especially motherhood, because there's this pressure to try and, quote unquote, "do all the things." And even though the intentions are good, sometimes it gets lost in the purpose behind why we are doing it. So I thought this is gonna be the perfect place to start, because like I said, you could be doing genuinely good things, keeping the routines or showing up for your kids, maybe it's getting the work done, or even serving at church. And somewhere on the inside, there is still this tension that it's that feeling of, I can't stop or I can't slow down, because if I let any of this go, then it's all gonna fall apart. And honestly, I think a lot of moms can relate to this because I've lived through it too. And if I've done it, I know that many of you also have lived through it. So from the outside, my life mostly looked like I was doing all the right things. But on the inside, there was this constant pressure that just wouldn't let me rest. And I wanna be clear about this because I don't want you to hear what I'm saying and then you walk away thinking that something is wrong with you. But that feeling is not proof that you are failing or that you're a bad mom. It's actually a signal. And even the most beautiful goals that you have, whether it be to grow in your faithfulness or to work from excellence or just being consistent or, like many of my moms, being the mom that they've always wanted to be, all of that can quickly and quietly start operating from the wrong place without us even realizing it. And the thing is, we don't usually catch it until someone reflects it back to us or until we slow down long enough to sit with ourselves and ask the harder question. Because the question isn't, am I doing enough? The better question is, what is actually driving me right now? Is it peace or is it pressure? Pressure is actually a sign that somewhere along the way, we just stopped operating from rest and started operating from a place of trying to prove ourselves, and we didn't even realize that it was happening when it started happening. So, what does living from your identity look like versus living for it? And I think that this is where we can get a little bit more practical, because your identity is simply what God says you are before you do a single thing today. And when we live from that place, it really does change the way that we move through our day. Because when you're living from your identity, it can look like a steadier pace. It looks like peace even when the day is busy. It looks like boundaries that you can actually hold without panicking, And it looks like obedience without all of that over-functioning that so many of us carry. You can still do a lot. For example, being a mom is a lot. Running a business is a lot. Serving in your community is a lot as well, and there's so many more examples, but I'll stop at those three. But mainly what I'm trying to say is you're not fighting to earn your worth in the middle of the things that you are doing. But when you're living for your identity, it sounds completely different. It sounds like, "If I don't do this right, I'm gonna let everyone down," or, "I can't slow down right now," or even, "Everyone else seems to be handling this so much better than me." And honestly, I've said those things to myself before too, and that is performing. That's a way of trying to work out of control. That is you bracing yourself for the possibility of disappointing someone. And what's interesting is that it shows up in the most ordinary moments. So in the morning routines that you have, the chores, your Bible time, the way that you're working, Even the way you're responding when your kids are having a hard moment. The action on the outside might look the exact same, but on the inside it's completely different. So here is a self-check that I want to encourage you to sit with, and honestly, I don't want you to rush to answer it. And so the question I'm gonna ask you today as a reflection question is, am I being faithful right now, or am I performing? Because in 2 Corinthians 12:9, Paul writes, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." And yes, Paul is writing this, but he's also saying that this is what God told him when he was asking God to remove the thorn from his side. So those are God's words. He says, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." And the picture there is that grace already meets us in the places where we feel like we're not enough, or where we feel like we have this thorn on our side. So truth is, we're not auditioning for our worth. It's already been given to us, and we get to move through our day from that place instead of for it and I hope that as I'm going through this episode, that you're finding so much pressure being lifted off of your shoulder. Because the next question that I have is, what do you do when the pressure rises? 'Cause I'm talking about all these things, it's more so reflection, but now we're going into the topic of in the moment. That is usually the hardest part for my mamas to try and navigate through. They're so good at telling me things that have happened in the past and then how they fixed it, but the struggle has always been, what do I do in the moment? So I know that up to this point, it can feel like it is a lot to take in. So I just wanna give you something practical, something simple that you can actually do in the moment when you start to feel that pressure rising, and it doesn't take a full minute to do this. So the first thing I want you to do is just notice it. That's right. I want you to just pause for a second and ask yourself, "What am I feeling right now? Where is this coming from?" Because honestly, we miss this so often when we're just on autopilot, moving from one thing to the next and trying to get to the end of our never-ending list. And then I want you to name it. And I know that that can get uncomfortable, but just being honest with yourself in that moment is incredibly huge Maybe it sounds like, "Okay, I'm trying to prove something." Or maybe it's, "I'm trying to control this because I'm tired, and I'm scared that if I don't, everything's gonna fall apart." And that is understandable. I've been there, too. And then from there, I want you to anchor yourself in truth. Remind yourself that you don't have to earn your peace for today, that is something that honestly a lot of moms forget because we are so busy just trying to keep it moving. And then the very last step is to take the next step. I know, it probably sounds like, well, what's the next step? I want you to ask yourself, what does faithfulness look like in this moment without urgency? That's the key here. And maybe it's still making dinner. Maybe it's still responding to the email or finishing that load of laundry. The difference is you're doing it from a completely different place now, and that's really it. You're not adding one more thing to your already very long list. You're just simply shifting what is underneath the things that you're already doing. And that small shift is where the change actually begins. So mama, if there's anything that I want you to walk away with today, it's really just this: you don't have to earn what's already been given to you. You really don't. You get to keep being that same mom doing the same good thing that you've been doing. And I know that becoming the mom that you want to be can be incredibly hard at times, but as I always say, you can do hard things Thanks for spending time with me today, mama. If this episode encouraged you, would you share it with another mom who needs it too? And don't forget to hit follow so the next time a new episode drops, it's waiting for you. Until next time, go in peace