168 | Why Resting Feels Lazy (And Why It Isn't, Mama)

Hey Mama!

As a mom, you had your "top three," the things you had to finish to feel like the day actually counted. Then the laundry sat wet in the machine, someone got sick, nap time never happened, and by evening motherhood felt like one more thing you were failing at.

Underneath it is a quiet lie: that resting means you're lazy, that "good enough" is really just giving up.

So is "good enough" really okay? This episode pushes back, because "good enough" isn't a cop-out. It might be the most biblical thing you do all day. And it starts with a story you've probably heard a hundred times, Mary and Martha, seen through a lens that might catch you off guard.

Here's what you'll walk away with:

• What "good enough" actually means when you're limited in time, energy, and attention
• Why the question you've always asked about Mary and Martha might be the wrong one
• The one question that reveals whether you're serving from peace or from pressure

You were never meant to carry it all. And once that truly sinks in, the guilt you've been carrying starts to loosen its grip.

If you're realizing the real problem isn't your to-do list but the pressure to be perfect, take the free Breakthrough Mom Guilt Quiz and name the exact guilt pattern stealing your peace. Link is in the show notes.

More FREE Resources:

Take The Quiz: Break Through Mom Guilt Quiz

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FREE Community:  Break Free From Mom Guilt

Instagram: @_restoredmind

Email: carolinethao@restoredmindllc.com

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It's time to become to the mom you want to be. You can do hard things!
"I can do all things through Him who strengthens me"- Philippians 4:13

Transcript

0:00

Mama, if your to-do list leaves you feeling like your best is never enough, like resting means you're being lazy, I need you to hear this because good enough is not a cop-out. It might actually be the most biblical thing you do all day. Let me show you why Welcome to The Restored Mind, biblical wisdom for Christian moms who are tired of guilt, tension, and feeling divided. Here, we build a woven life with peace, growth, and connection. I'm Caroline Tau. Let's do this All right. Welcome back. I'm so excited to have you here today. Today's conversation is going to be such a good one, because I don't know about you, but I, for the longest time, had a top three list of things that I felt like if I could get those out of the way, then I would feel accomplished that something in my day got completed. And some days I did finish all three of those tasks, but a lot of the days, I actually did not. So for example, maybe laundry was number one. I would start that, and then I would plan to knock out smaller micro tasks while I waited for the laundry to dry. But what I didn't account for was the season that I was in. My kids were younger back then, and they were also home with me, so nap times didn't always happen, because maybe someone got sick that day, or they just simply didn't want to nap at their designated nap time. And then, of course, the laundry that I started earlier in the day just never got finished because the day got away from me. And when those top three things did not get done, I felt like I was not a good mom or a good wife. And to be honest with you, that led me to feel like I was disappointing myself, because being a good wife and mom are the two things that I absolutely wanted to become better at. But here's the thing. These are things that I genuinely do, and now I even enjoy. I like to think of myself as a detail-oriented person because I like thinking through all of the little pieces when I'm organizing or planning something. But it wasn't the tasks that were the problem. It was the expectation attached to them Which was I could not settle for good enough because I had to be excellent at all the things that I was doing. I had to be precise and driven. And so all of that led me to be incredibly annoyed at my husband because he would say something that just drove me absolutely bonkers. He would say, "Hey, you know what? Don't worry about it, babe. Just come sit next to me, and let's just hang out." And the reason why this bothered me so much was because I felt like he didn't fully understand how much more work needed to be done in order for me to hang out with him. And so I just thought, you know, how can you be this cool of a cucumber when there's still so much to do? So yes, it got on my nerves. And if you find yourself relating to this story, especially as a mom who just genuinely wants to show up as a mom that your kids will remember creating memories and being the best mom that you absolutely wanna be, but this is where you're stuck, I 1,000% believe that there is a way for you to break free from that guilt and to be able to live actively as the mom you want to be instead of being in this place of saying that you're just going to do better tomorrow. And so honestly, I never once looked at the situation that I just shared with you from a spiritual perspective. And it wasn't until I started thinking about Martha and Mary and how this relates to many aspects of my life, but especially motherhood, is when I ended up having a change of heart. Now, before we get into Mary and Martha, let's first address the lie that's underneath all of this pressure. Because the idea that good enough means that you're lazy or not putting in enough effort is honestly unbiblical, at least in my opinion. Because when you acknowledge that the work you've done for the day is good enough, it means that you also acknowledge where you fall short and trust that Jesus fills in that gap for you. Because you know, I'm gonna be honest and say that we are limited. We are incredibly limited with our time, our energy, and even our attention. So the work that you did today is good enough for today and when you operate in excellence as being never satisfied in the work that you're doing, or driving the standard that you uphold for yourself, that is not holiness. That is pressure, and that pressure is what ends up making you feel stuck. It makes you believe that you're not a good mom or that you're not fulfilling this leadership role that you have within your home. So for me, all of this meant that I needed to let go of my pride, and truth be told, I could not ask for help. It was so hard for me to reach out to someone and ask for help, and I also really couldn't accept help because deep down I thought I could handle everything on my own. Honestly, there was a very trying season in my life when my husband was deployed, and I ended up moving back to Georgia, where I grew up, to stay with family. And whenever I did ask for help, for them to just watch my kids for a couple of hours while I ran some errands, I always felt rushed to come back home and relieve them of having to watch my kids. And so most of the time I took my kids with me, and, in that season, it was actually my best friend who was the one that called it out. She was the one that was like, "Hey, you need to learn how to ask for help and how to accept it." And that's when it hit me because the pressure I was drowning in, that was because I was putting myself there. So yes, the lie underneath that pressure will have you believing that you're good enough means that you're, being lazy or you're not putting in enough effort. But honestly, that's not the case at all. So now that we've addressed the lie underneath the pressure, let's revisit Mary and Martha, because this is such good news for you and I. If you didn't know, the story of Mary and Martha is in Luke chapter 10. I'm just gonna summarize it for you today, but Jesus comes to visit them, and Mary sits at his feet. Martha is busy serving, and she gets frustrated, so she begins asking Jesus to make Mary help her. And Jesus responds by saying Mary has chosen the good portion. And you might have heard this story before, which is great, and I love referencing back to this story because it puts me in such a humbling place, especially when I tend to get ahead of myself or really get ahead of God in trying to be in control of things. But have you noticed that Jesus never scolded Martha for wanting to serve? See, the thing is Jesus is for serving. Serving is not a lesser tasks or a calling. At the Last Supper, Jesus got up, he wrapped a towel around his waist and washed his disciples' feet and then said, "I have given you an example that you should also do just as I have done to you." That comes from John 13:14 and 15. So when you pour yourself out to your family, that's not you falling short, that's you reflecting our Savior, Jesus Christ. And so the problem was never about serving, it was really the anxiety or the pressure underneath it. So the question we usually get asked is, which one am I, a Mary or a Martha? But I believe there's a better question, because Jesus saw good in both serving and resting. his gentle correction wasn't about Martha serving at all. It was about her being anxious and troubled about many things. So the problem was never the work, it was the panic underneath it And so the better question to ask yourself is, am I working for peace or panic? So I want you, when you get a chance this week, go read the story in Luke and, you know, read it slowly, be intentional with it, and then work from peace and not panic, going to Jesus for rest that's more than physical. It is a spiritual rest where you can serve without the fear that you'll never be, quote-unquote, complete So as you're listening to this episode and you're realizing that the real problem isn't your to-do list but the pressure to be perfect, I want you to go take the Mom Guilt Breakthrough Quiz, and it's going to help you name the exact guilt pattern that is stealing your peace and give you practical ways that you can begin to live in freedom with ample amount of peace. The link to that quiz is going to be in the show notes for you. All right, so we are wrapping up today's episode, and it was such a good one to think about Mary and Martha. But I know that this pressure that you feel is like a nagging feeling, that you'll just never quite get caught up on your list. But the shift is that there will always be more work to do. All right? So even sitting on the couch, your body is still working. Life is going to keep moving, so the truth is being done was never the goal. Faithfully stewarding your limited time and energy is. And so as you step into this next season, remember that you don't have to earn your rest. And so as you step into this week or get ready to have your kids go back to school and you're sending them off, this is going to be a new season for you and your family. The adjustments for some might be big. Some, it just might be going back into a routine that you're familiar with, and that's okay. Regardless, I want you to remember that you do not have to earn your rest. It's time for you to let go of that unspoken pressure that's keeping you stuck and become the mom that you've always wanted to be. And yes, I know it can be hard, but as I always say, you can do hard things Thanks for spending time with me today, mama. If this episode encouraged you, would you share it with another mom who needs it too? And don't forget to hit follow so the next time a new episode drops, it's waiting for you. Until next time, go in peace