Spiritual Awakening

This spiritual thang is not for the weak y’all. This universe has turned me every way but loose in the past to get me to learn needed lessons. In this episode, Tyi is back to talk about Spiritual Awakening and all the healing and heartache that can come with it. 

The Hot Girl’s Healing podcast is about healing in community and covers diverse topics, and how they relate to healing. 

Salenna Green (she/they)  is an organizer, creative, speaker, healer and leader. Salenna has a degree in Community Psychology and a background in nonprofit leadership and program development. Salenna is carving her own lane in the healing industry, promoting self love and relationship healing. 

The Hot Girl’s Healing podcast is one of the offerings through Salenna Green SPC (SGSPC) that promotes self love and relationship healing. This podcast is for everyone but centers Black, queer people as holding truly safe space for their community was a predominant motivator for creating this show. Salenna enjoys creating art, reading, leisure and travel in their free time. Follow them on social media to stay updated! @salennagreen #HotGirlsHealing

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:23

Um, which I'm really excited about. Four is like one of my favorite numbers. Um, I feel like it's just like the civility of four. Even though the triangle is the most like structurally sound shape or something like that. Anyway, Virgo things. Um, so today we're back with another episode of the Hot Girls Healing podcast. And I'm really excited because I love a return to guests. If you've ever been on the Hot Girls Healing podcast, hit me up if you want to come on again. Because, yes, you know I mean, I'm a yapper. I can yap. And me and Ty, when we talked last time, I knew we could have another conversation. You know what I mean? So, um, if you have not listened to the Hot Girls Healing Podcast before, this is your first episode. Welcome. Listen to this episode and then go back and listen to the episode called Seek Your Truth because Ty was also on that episode with me as well. Um, which is how I know her to be a speaker, to be an organizer. Really, I feel like someone who's a leader in our community, like someone who's doing that real shit. That's Tom. Um, but I'm gonna let her introduce herself to y'all real quick, let you know what you need to know about her before we get into this conversation, and then we talking about spiritual awakenings. So Ty, please introduce yourself to the people.

SPEAKER_05 1:46

Hey everyone, Selena, thank you so much for bringing me back on and congrats again to another season. Um, and I was one of the ones I reached out, I said, We need to get we need to get something going on because obviously healing is my jam. And last year, dang, I can't believe it's gone by so fast. But we were uh last year was definitely one of those um pivots, you know, those pivotal moments in my life, um, as I was going through another kind of phase of my healing journey. Um, but I am Tifla, as you said. I am an author, um, a producer. Um, I have T Flood Consulting, which is my multimedia marketing company. Um, we do a lot of things there. Um, I'm a project manager by trade. Um, actually, that's that's my main kind of that's my career project manager. Um, and I think it does go with just the fact of loving to be organized and loving to always loving to put things together. So um I've been doing a lot of things for for many years now, um, in the entertainment realm, in the media realm, um really enjoying uh just being a creative is what I like to say.

SPEAKER_00 3:08

Yeah, I honestly also I like to say artist, but when you say artist, everyone always assumes you paint.

SPEAKER_05 3:17

And I'm like Yes, you know, it's so artistry is like that's so funny you say that. So you do have to be specific, you know, and you do have to be specific. And it's funny you say that because I started to tap back back into my music artistry um last year as well during the time we were talking. Um, I have set a goal of what I wanted to do when I got back into music, and when I say music, that means singing, writing, like songwriting, performing. Um, and I set a goal the beginning of last year and just been rocking and rolling with that. So it's interesting you say that because I say artist or creative because I feel like creative just embodies everything that goes along, and that's with um I think any way that you express yourself.

SPEAKER_02 4:16

Yeah. Did I cut in my gun now?

SPEAKER_00 4:22

It actually told me it said it stopped recording due to an incoming call.

SPEAKER_05 4:29

Oh my god, how smart it is. I need to put my thing on do not disturb. I totally forgot to do that. Um that is so funny. Um but yeah, so I feel like you know, when you are able to being a creative is a wonderful thing because it allows your mind to escape reality a lot of times. Um, so I really love being being a creative. So that's really what I use.

SPEAKER_00 4:56

I use creative as well. I feel like it's more expansive. A couple of things I noticed is like one, they think you're a painter if you say artist, and then the other thing that I've noticed is they think you only do one art form. So if I say creative, then it's like, oh, they expect me to be a writer and an actress and a model and a producer and all the things that I do. Because I'm like, yeah, I have a lot of creative energy, and it's not only gonna come out in watercolor painting, which I also do actually enjoy. But I would say watercolor is like probably one of the least of my talents. I really just love I love I do love to watercolor, so maybe that's something that people will see more out of me eventually. But I'm like, nah, that's that's not the one.

SPEAKER_05 5:41

You know what? The part uh once again is about you know expressing yourself, you know. So that is a form of expression in in your watercoloring. And I love watercolor paintings actually. I I I love art. So so yeah, I I love that.

SPEAKER_00 5:58

It's been a chilling. Yes, that's what I was gonna say. It has been a huge part of my spiritual awakening has been. Um creative energy is God energy. Oh my gosh, yes, and the more you tap into it, I've been so I've been open, expanded, and I've grown not through pain, not through hardship, not through struggle, which were things that I was taught that that's how you become a better person by surviving it. And what art and creation showed me is that was just another lie that was taught to us by our oppressors to make us think that we have to struggle to be good people, struggle to learn or to you know be able to stand proud and say, you know, I'm here. No, art and creation has done all of that for me without pain, without I mean, a little bit of pain, a little bit of struggle, because art don't always go the way you want it to. I'm over here, like you know, I had to let go of perfectionism in this journey of creation of mine, and it's certainly in my spiritual awakening, I've let go a lot of perfection.

SPEAKER_05 7:13

Which is hard to do as a Virgo, I must say. And I'm a fellow Virgo, so I get it. So uh, you know, people always judge us, you know, for our perfection. We are, you know, you know, and it's funny you say how you've been able to let go of it during this journey because um I've I've I've pretty much I I feel the same way. Um it's it's I don't know what it is about tapping into that spiritual realm, but it's like you when you say, hey, I'm giving it all over, you know, I'm I'm letting it all go. Um, and things like that, you are literally because perfectionism is is a sense is a kind of control, it's a it's a sense of control, right? You want everything to be right. Um, you're giving up that control. You're like, look, I'm gonna let things flow the way it needs to flow, as I'm gonna let things be in alignment the way that it needs to be. I'm not going to, you know, jump in and nope, just let it, just let it flow, which is it's very challenging. And it's like perfectionist.

SPEAKER_00 8:20

It's a part of like honoring what is too, which is a really big part of my spiritual awakening, was honoring what was the sense of control that I thought was an illusion that I had was an illusion. That had me uh sliding down the wall, crying about that was never within your control, baby. You're crying because you can't control something that was never yours to control, which is what I had to learn. I'm like, when I honor what is, which is a very big part of my spiritual awakening journey, I'm able to honor what was meant for me to control. That thing that I couldn't control was never meant for me to control. But look what you did with what you could control.

SPEAKER_05 9:02

Yeah, I always um when I when I talk with others or coach others or or whatever, especially when it's speaking, you know, I'm really heavy into uh mental health. And um anxiety is a huge part of not being able to let go of control. Um, you know, anxiety, you know, a lot of us we get so much anxiety because things are just like, oh my gosh, I can't, I can't control this, I can't control that. And then your your your nervous system just starts rattling and shaking like things are just you feel out of control. Um and a lot of people they they deal with anxiety because they haven't yet found the way to breathe through it and to relinquish control just to hey, just to the universe. Like, listen, I can I always tell people you can only control yourself, like you can only control what you can. Things that are out of your control, like spending too much time on on that, wondering, oh my gosh, why didn't it do this? Why didn't it go this way? Um, why is this person acting this way? Or why they can't, you know, controlling people is a major thing that you just have to let go of because you can't control anyone else, how they treat you, how they treat others, how they treat themselves, right? Um, but you have to be able to know, okay, I can at least control how I react to those people, I can control um my next steps, you know. Um putting really coming to grips with knowing what you what's within your control and what's not within your control is so huge to your healing process and to your healing journey. It's so huge.

SPEAKER_00 10:51

And it's like it's these things that I used to think, and I was just talking about this with my husband because we were talking about confidence, and I talk a lot, or I used to anyway. I feel like maybe I think about it more now that I've shifted into this new place, but I used to think that confidence was a state of like hyperactivity. To be confident, I was thinking about a lot of things, I was analyzing a lot of things, I was constantly trying to I have a degree in community psychology, so I'm always thinking about how people are viewing me and how that is relating or how that's changing the dynamics in a situation. So I was doing a lot to be confident in house, and it was tied to anxiety, like like you already said, and this hyperactive state, my nervous system was all dysregulated, and through my spiritual awakening, I came to this point of realizing that confidence was not a hyperactive state at all. It was actually a very peaceful state, it was a balanced state, it was a calm nervous system. Yes, yes, instead of hyperactive, tense, very aware, turned on, like it real confidence wasn't any of that. I love that.

SPEAKER_05 12:06

I love that statement because it's it's it's absolutely true, you know, and it it's like when you start really feeling confident in your own skin, um, feeling confident in knowing like, hey, this is who I am, you know. Either people are gonna accept me or they're not, but I'm gonna still move how I move. I'm gonna still present myself the way that I know is most effective for me. I'm gonna be who I am. I think um I know for me, just a lot of my passions were pretty much knocked down a little bit. A lot of just, and I'm a pretty free-spirited person. So I I'm I'm all over Earth side. Like I'm very free-spirited. And um, and but sometimes with that, I I lacked a lot of confidence with certain things because I wanted to be, I guess, pretty much aligned to other people's expectations versus my own, if that makes sense. So it was like, you know, really trying to appease and you know, everybody else. And I'm like, but I'm totally different. I'm made this way for a purpose. Um and it was really about really that that confidence, that underlying confidence. Like, why are you questioning yourself? Why are you questioning your ability? Why why do you think that you have to act even latch on to these people or you know, keep these people around when they're you know, especially when people are like mistreating you or basically pretty much uh kind of shading you a little bit, you know? Yeah because maybe of their lack of confidence. Okay, so you know, you it's like that there's that clash there, but really, you know, questioning myself a lot, and that's the freedom that comes with basically owning up to your own shit and just doing who being who you are, not caring, like how it's being received, and and I mean, you know, you you care, but at the same time, it's like I said what I said, you know, like I said what I said, maybe I mean, you know, I maybe I've said it because one thing that I I've been working on and I was just talking about this with my fiance. I was like, you know, um, I am I realize that I can be direct, and I think it's just because I'm just like boom, boom, boom, get get this done. And to where it may come off to others as confrontational, or like if I want to, if I'm seeking answers, I'm like, I'm just direct. And sometimes that may come off a different, you know, a certain way. So I was like, I have to figure out it was so funny. So this is why I love chat GPT and all that, because like if I'm really, if I really have to put together a sentence and I'm like, proofread this for me just to make sure I'm not coming off like I'm about to like jump off, jump, jump in somebody's skin. Um, it's just a matter of okay, well, listen, maybe I said it this way. I didn't mean any harm, or you know, because people can take offense to things that you say um when you don't intentionally mean any harm by it. So, but that's really a part also of knowing yourself and being accountable for yourself. It's like I'm not gonna apologize for what I said, how I said it, yeah, I'll I'll give you that. I'll give you that. Maybe I said it the wrong way, but that's huge.

SPEAKER_00 15:46

Because it's like one part is intent versus impact, so we're being accountable, but the other part is like I'm not gonna spend too much time like thinking about who you think I could be or who you think I am, or why you think I said, or you know what I mean? Because some people don't give you the benefit of the doubt, they just don't, and they'll take whatever you said and they'll take it for the worst that they could possibly take that thing for you. And I know for me, upon reflection, people are doing that to me, and because I spent so much energy being like, Oh, well, I don't want them to think that I don't fucking care. Right.

SPEAKER_05 16:21

I know I tell you when I tell you so many people, and it's so funny, like there have been people that have came that have come up to me, and and the funny thing is not a lot of people know me, know me, you know, there's people that they've been around you, they they they've probably been around you for a few hours, whatever give or take, but they don't know you, you know, they don't know you. So there's people that, you know, I I remember a conversation with a young lady who she was like, when I first met you, I just you just seemed so mean and so like you didn't like me. And I'm like, did I tell you I didn't like you? Like, did I is that what I said? I like what did I say to you that made you feel that to make you feel that way? But it's so but I'm saying that to the point, like, and then and I actually I to I had to take a step back, honestly, and that would that to be real, like I had I was like, well, why would somebody just automatically assume I'm a certain way and they don't even they haven't really they don't know me like that or they they may see me in a certain capacity, like if we if we're talking business, yeah, I'm business focused, but that doesn't mean that I'm a mean person, it doesn't mean that you know I I'm like raising hell or what have you, no, and I really kind of took that to heart because I'm just like I didn't mistreat you in any kind of way, I didn't say anything wrong, I didn't do any of that, but I I came to the point where it's just like you know what, I can't control what other people think of me. Like, if that's you know, I can't, I'm not gonna dwell on it. I'll take I'll take what you said, and I'll be like, okay, maybe I'll smile a little more to make you feel comfortable. But if I don't feel like smiling, I'm not fucking smiling.

SPEAKER_00 18:10

Like I'm not mad, and it don't mean that any of that stuff.

SPEAKER_05 18:14

Right. I'm like, I'm like, and now sometimes I'll give people, you know, I'll I'll just if if I'm in a certain way, because I do know I do have boots, so I I'm very self-aware. So I do sometimes give people like, listen, excuse me, don't pay me no mind. I'm just going through whatever this moment is, it show pass. I do give people that because I do want people to feel safe around me, if that makes sense. No, it does. So I it's like I I had to try to change a little bit of that, but at the same token, I'm like, I'm not gonna change who I am. This is who I am. I'll give you, you know, I'll give you an alert, like, hey, this is this is this is that time today, like this is how we're coming, but I'm not gonna change who I yeah, who I am.

SPEAKER_00 19:06

Yeah, and strong knowledge of people who look, especially if you got multiple earth signs, like I just I've had people be like, oh, I found you so intimidating. I thought you oh my gosh, yeah. And it's like all this before you you ever spoke anything to my face, ever all this before I ever met you. It irks myself.

SPEAKER_05 19:28

It irks myself.

SPEAKER_00 19:31

Yeah, I I really had to work on the balance with that because as a former people pleaser, I was like, oh no, oh, why did you think that? What was I doing? What did I say? I would literally ask questions because I know they just had some evidence that this was based on, right? No, there was no evidence, it was no, it was nothing ever more than just a feeling that somebody had, and then that's what brought me, you know, it's that your feelings are valid, but your feelings are not reality. So, whatever it was that you thought about me, felt about me, got you none of that was reality, but it was all what you validly felt, and so I stopped taking responsibility for what other people felt about me because I spent time, energy, I made sure I showed people who I really was, showed up as my most authentic self. Like now they'll see me, now they'll know that I'm no, they still see you as what they wanted to see you as. And if you don't want to see you as you, they're not gonna see you as you, they're gonna see you as the version of you that is easy and comfortable for them.

SPEAKER_05 20:40

That is a huge point because you know that showing up authentically, um, yourself, you know, people they say that they welcome it, you know, they they want you to be transparent, they want you to be, you know, but a lot of people can't they can't take that, you know, they can't they can't handle it. And um that's their problem, it's not yours, you know. I and that's what it comes down to is like I'm showing up as myself, how you receive it, that's your problem. That's something you can work through. Um if if I am disrespecting you in a way, if I am like, you know, if you if I do offend you in a way, yeah, let me know. And that way I can, you know, correct or pretty much restate what I said in a in a better manner. But everything else, that's you. Your feelings are about you, it's not about me.

SPEAKER_00 21:32

Yeah. And my feelings be about me too. You know what I mean? I'm not exempt from that. So um, a lot of people, and it's weird too, because this is something that I've been hearing in like friendships a lot. Like, we I've had friends go through a lot of friendship. I've seen a lot of friends go through friendship breakups. I've experienced a few friendship breakups, even recent painful ones where I'm like, girl, how did this? I'm still so confused as to how. You will spill in all that, but pretend to be my best friend. People are crazy. But um, you know, it's it's it's all of this is a part of us taking control of our own destinies, right? Which is what we talked about um, you know, before recording. You have to take control of your own destiny, you have to decide what kind of people do I want in my life, what kind of person do I want to be, how do I want to show up in my relationships, how do I want people to show up in my relationships like for me? How do I want people to show up for me? How do I want people to tell me if I got them fucked up? You know what I mean? Because I have friends who like I was like, oh wow, we never really had a conflict. And then when we did the entire friendship in because what it was was we didn't mean that friend, we just weren't gonna be able to resolve conflicts. They weren't gonna be able to do, they weren't gonna be able to show up in a way that shows me that I can be safe in the friendship going forward, and I wasn't gonna take on responsibilities for other people's feelings because that's just not my responsibility. That is their responsibility to deal with. Beyond that, I can definitely be in here. You can tell me what you need from me, you know. I mean, but I can't figure out your feelings for you. I can't, that's not my place. So some friendships you can't resolve the conflict in, and that's just where that relationship has to end. It doesn't have to be like for me, I'm all about you know, self-love and relationship healing. I'm very clear on the fact that relationship healing doesn't mean that you and that person are best friends forever and you hold hands and go off into sunset together. Sometimes it's like we're not in alignment, and I don't need to wish you back, I don't need to talk bad about you in the streets, but we are not in alignment and we will not be continuing in each other's loss.

SPEAKER_05 23:51

Man, you know, I really you really kind of hit home when it comes to friendships. I've definitely um similar to you, I've lost a lot of friends. Friends that I thought that were, you know, I was like, okay, you know, we 20 20 plus years of friendship and it's no longer. And you know, obviously you go through that grieving process, but when you really sit down and you unpack some of those friendships, you kind of realize some things are surface level too. Like they're just like these are not friends that are these friends that you really could confide in, Ty? Are these friends that if you called them they had your back just like you would have their back? You know, there's a lot of you know, friendships that aren't reciprocal either. And it it'd be so funny to me, like the friend, the friends that will call themselves um feeling away or cutting me off, and I'm like, you're I'm not losing anything here necessarily. It's like because I'm like, I'm the one that you was calling on all the time to help you either to help you go someplace, to help you with something. I couldn't do the same thing with you. So honestly, who's really losing? You know, who's really who's really losing anything? Um, but it is heartbreaking to feel as though, you know, you you're you're loyal, you know, to a friendship and you're committed to a friendship that is just not is it's pretty much all an illusion. It's like it's not really real.

SPEAKER_00 25:28

It's like, so we're so we're actually associates, we're not really friends, like yeah, and like the whole time you were showing up authentically, so it's like, yeah, I'm like, but I was I was it was real on my end, like yeah, but when you see through reflection, it's like that's where the awakening comes because you weren't seeing what was happening, you weren't aware of the unbalanced nature of the relationship. That's very similar. What you're saying is very similar to the reflection that I had on the most recent friendship breakup that I experienced. I was like, Well, damn, I guess I'm really not missing much, but that's crazy.

SPEAKER_05 26:07

Like, yeah, it's it's heartbreaking too when you feel as though you are showing up, you know, you're you're being transparent, you're being, you know, unapologetically used, so to speak, right? And you're showing up this way, and now all of a sudden your friend doesn't like you in that way, too. So when we talk about us going through like those healing journeys and those spiritual awakening journeys, and the way that it it allows you to lose those friends, that they really don't, they really like you when you're down. They really like you at the low point. You know, they don't really like you, they don't they don't really like this person who's awake and who is going to call them out on their shit, or who's going to be that person that is always, you know, someone basically someone that they can't talk shit about anymore anymore behind behind their back. It's like, wait, that's not that's not her anymore. That's that's somebody totally different. I can't even justify anything that I may say negatively about this person because that's not them. And it it it's it's it's it's very it's it's crazy, you know. Like I said, it's it's a very it's very heartbreaking. It's a it's a grievance. I've grieved so many different friends that, like I said, I thought were going to be around, that I thought that I was going to be able to feel comfortable with sharing, you know, my life with them in that sense of being able to be myself around them, being comfortable. But if I have to be on guard with you, if I have to walk on eggshells with you, I automatically know you're not you're we we just have we can we can be cool, but there's some boundaries that you know we just need to establish because I know that I can't get but so so you know so close to you.

SPEAKER_00 28:00

Yeah, and that spiritual awareness muscle will get stronger, and you will stop and you'll start seeing the signs early, you're like, I nope, we ain't doing that.

SPEAKER_05 28:09

Yeah, it comes real quick, it comes real quick. I mean, it it it's like it you can you'll go to sleep, you know, it may come in your dream, and and you'll be like, you'll wake up, you'll be like, oh wow, okay, you know.

SPEAKER_00 28:29

The messaging that you will receive during a spiritual awakening, I know we had talked about this too uh before we started recording. We're talking about how there really is like this energy of awakening that's just kind of like growing across countries and different societies. We know now, especially with social media, we can really see, like we can now know what is actually happening in other places around the world. And I see it, I see the spiritual awakening growing, and people are wanting something more and something different than what is right in front of us. And I think that's a huge part of like if you were wondering, uh, healing community, whether you were experiencing a spiritual awakening, literally just being curious about what the world could be beyond what it is right now, that's you, baby. You on the path.

SPEAKER_05 29:20

That's the awakening. It starts with you, yeah. It definitely starts with you. Um it starts with you, and to your point, it it really for me, my spiritual journey started, and and and you know, there's a difference between being, you know, religious, you know, and being spiritual, right? Um, and so my spiritual awakening journey just came with that point of you know what I have to hold on to I have to I have to grab myself. I have to grab myself and and kind of just grab myself up and and really get my shit together. Like I don't want to repeat certain patterns that I know are they're like they're killing me, you know, that patterns that I know that I have control over, right? Because once again it goes back to I can't control other people, but I can control the fact that you know these group of people or these let's let's just talk about dating. I'll give a dating an example. It's like if you have this pattern of always dating the same per you know, the same person, it may it, and when I say the same person, it may be a different body and a different name, but it's the same kind of thing that you're attracted to and it's toxic as hell, you are you have a pattern that you you really need to sit down with yourself and say, I'm tired of going through this, because it's not gonna change, like it's not gonna get better. You you just want to find somebody else to replace that that last person that did pretty much the same thing and and and go through that same kind of heart heartache or heart or whatever, you have to really sit down and be like, I'm not doing this anymore. I'm setting myself up for failure if I continue to seek these men or these women who who um exhibit these toxic traits that I know is not healthy for me. I know that I can't be around these particul these kind of people, it's unhealthy for me.

SPEAKER_00 31:28

Um so the common denominator. That's the thing about it for me. I'm like, if I'm the common denominator and too many things, then I'm I'm starting to look inward. I'm like, no, no, no, no, no.

SPEAKER_05 31:40

And that's it's funny you say that because I use that all the time. With like if someone say, Oh, um, everyone always comes to me, you know, about X, Y, and Z, or I'm always getting, you know, cheated on, or I'm always like any kind of, and I don't want to, you know, any kind of story of something that continues to happen. I'm like, okay, you might you're the common denominator to this issue. Like, yes, these people may be the terrible, you know, to you, but when are you gonna start holding yourself accountable for allowing you know these things to happen to you?

SPEAKER_00 32:22

Yeah, there's there's this lady, uh, this white lady who is a dating coach, and I've been seeing her viral videos on social media. I forget her name, because I'm not good with names, but um, I'm giving her credit, y'all. It's uh it's this white woman, and she always has like videos where she like talks about she's like, does the body count matter? And she like debates people, like men, because like ultimately, no, it doesn't matter. But that lady, she says, When you're a good person, you're gonna attract all kind of people. It's about who you entertain. Yep, because you choose who you entertain, all these people are gonna be attracted to you. Yeah, of course. Yeah, I got energy, you're a giver, whoop-e-whoop. Who are you gonna choose to entertain? And that's that common denominator you be talking about because we gotta choose whether it's the friendships, whether it's the relationships, where we choose to work. I worked into real toxic dynamics where I was like, no, I'm gonna stay because of the no. Ultimately, all that space did was beat me down, and then I had to go somewhere else to build myself back up.

SPEAKER_05 33:27

Yeah, and then also, you know, it's funny because even even when we talk about like being in the work environment too, you can if you if you don't understand your specific boundaries, if you don't understand what's per what's best for you, you're gonna leave one toxic environment and go to another one. Like you are gonna literally, and and and a lot of times that is or that is orchestrated so that you can hopefully learn your lesson, right? It's like, okay, we'll we'll let you we'll let you go through this, but are you gonna learn this time or are you gonna continue to to to go through it again? Like and you only get so many chances. You really only get so many chances when when I sit and think about like the many times that I could have gotten gotten things right, the many times that things could have went another way, but because of you know those those toxic patterns that I was used to, or because of that because a lot of times patterns are comfort are comfort, you know, they're they're comfortable. Um when you when you when you realize okay, you're doing a lot of things because you're comfortable with with this, get out of your comfort zone and really step into what is truly meant for you, and then you'll realize these those little obstacles, those things that you were dealing with, you're not gonna deal with them again because you've realized, hey, um I I no longer want this in my life, I'm no longer I'm no longer seeking this. Um, and your whole everything will change after that. It's kind of like it's one of those effects. So it's you really have to be accountable for you. And you really have to take accountability for the part that you play in every relationship, you know, that you that you have, the part that you play in every kind of social dynamic, because that is what is that is pretty much how alignment begins. And just like how our algorithms, and I think I've I've always laughed because I'm like, I'll watch one little video. I can watch one video about pimple popping or something, and now all of a sudden my my whole feed is filled with all these, like, that's how you have to look at life. Like it's like a whole bowl of our algorithms. It's looks like okay, if you say if you go down this lane, this is this is everything that's gonna come to you. If you go down this way, this is everything that's gonna come to you. You gotta really look at it that way because that's really truly how that alignment works, it will align to whatever phase of life that you are in.

SPEAKER_00 36:11

Alignment and attraction for sure. And I love that you're encouraging people to like pay attention how you contributed to the good thing that happened too. Don't only check when it's bad and say, Oh, how did I get here? No, check when it's good and say, How did I get here? What did I do? Let me see how I can, you know, um, do this again and and do it again and again and again and tell my algorithm knows exactly what to bring me. Because sometimes our algorithms are stuck on bringing us bullshit. That's what we're used to, that's what we expect, that's what we're attracting to a certain extent, and it can take some time, you know, to question and to challenge what is comfortable and what is familiar.

SPEAKER_01 36:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 36:53

Because if you're if you're questioning what's comfortable and you're questioning what's familiar, and those questions aren't giving you answers of actual goodness and alignment, and um things are feeding into you, then you know where you got work to do.

SPEAKER_05 37:09

Yes, yes. You you have to, I think, I think the the the main point here is you have to really sit with yourself and sit and own up to your own stuff. You know, you have to, and that's really what spiritual awakening is really about. That's really what healing is about. You have to kind of grieve your own, your past, you know.

SPEAKER_00 37:36

Yeah, and take those lessons. Yeah, and take the lessons. You know, I love how you're saying that it's really it's a you thing. It's a you thing, it's a kne thing, it's a individu, you know, it starts with us. And when I was growing up, I was always taught that it started outside of me. It's like and and this is my experience with religion. So don't come bring this dye daddy to me. I'm good. But um when what I took from religion was always like, oh, you'll find whatever you're needing in this thing that's outside of you. Whatever you need, the confidence that you need, you'll find it outside of you. Things outside of you will affirm you, and that's how you know that you're good and valid and worthy. And what I had to put down on my spiritual awakening journey was that it that things were gonna come from outside of me to save me. If it never happened, and it was never going to happen, it was always gonna come from me. I'm I was I'm going to save me. I did save me, and I am continuing to do the best and right by myself on this path. But I did have to turn inward, I had to take the lessons, I had to learn about attachment styles, you know. We talked about that, yeah. We talked about how, um, and y'all feel free to look it up because it uh I get you know, I have a psychology degree, so a lot of things, the way that I think about them are, you know, in this way that's you know, it can be scientific or social. Um but yeah, attachment styles. I had a very anxious and disorganized attachment style. And once I realized that that was affecting my relationships, affecting my career, affecting how I show up in a room, how I show up in community, like you said. I had to be like, okay, how can I get myself from anxious and disorganized to secure? Because I I want security in my life, in all places of my life, and I felt so very insecure in religion. That was my experience. Mine, not yours.

SPEAKER_05 39:54

I'm talking to you. It's a funny thing, you know, and I I've strayed many times from, you know, even just growing up in a household, the church household as we like to call it, like growing up in church, um, and then being able to try to try to find it as I was finding myself getting, you know, as I was getting older and trying to find my own identity and trying to find like what are who can I go to to get the that that spiritual food that I need. Um I I've strayed a lot from many times just because I wasn't I didn't like how religion was communicated in different church environments from different religion, religious people. I was like, uh, I don't think like that. Like I don't I don't think like that. And I don't I don't believe in in those certain things. I don't believe that you're supposed to treat people this way because they're that. Because even though and you know, in the Bible, you know, you it says, you know, do unto others. A lot of people that were that were quoting these scriptures and things, they weren't doing that. They were like terrible people.

SPEAKER_00 41:09

Don't start asking no questions because what did you say? I was like, damn, I can ask a question.

SPEAKER_05 41:15

Right. It's like what it's like, what it really turned me off from the church, um, and and all of that for a very, you know, for a good deal of time. And I I was trying to fight fight my way back in because I love the spiritual part of it. Like I love, you know, but it was just I think it was really just the the people, and I had to disconnect my disconnect those things. I'm like, you're not going for these people, you know. You have to kind of take yourself out of it and really know exactly what you're going. So I totally get that. Like religion, I always tell people, like, I'm I'm religious, yes, but I'm more spiritual because I really believe in that holistic part as well, like that you know, internal type of part. And just kind of going back to the attachment styles, because the anxious attachment style is that's also something that I had dealt with too. And a lot of it, I always say a lot of you you you touched on like how it can kind of derive from insecurity. Um, it can also come from abandonment issues too, like feeling like, oh my gosh, if I do something wrong, if I do something wrong at work, if I do something wrong at home, somebody, you know, something's bad's gonna happen. Like I can't make any mistakes. I can't do that, you know. Um, or holding on, trying to hold on too tight. And sometimes eventually you self-sabotage, you know, with with a lot of that mentality. Um, and that that was one thing that I had to come to grips too. Like you're you're self-sabotaging because it was I had like a mix of anxious attachment style, and then um, oh my gosh, what's the other one? Uh list them for me, please. Avoidance, avoidance. Yeah, it was like a combination because as a defense mechanism, I will have the avoidance attachment style because I was trying to, you know, keep myself safe. And that was the one that was really like more sabotaging, I feel, than anything, because I wasn't truly understanding, like, why are you feeling this way? Why what why are you doing these things? Or certain things were in my mind with the anxiety part, it was like I'm overthinking certain things, and a lot of things it's in my head. It's not really, it's like this didn't happen yet. It may not even happen. Why are you thinking the worst? Get out of your head, you know. And it's funny because a lot of times now I'll talk to myself all the time, and I'll, you know, I'll pull myself like get it together, get out your head, Ty. your head like refocus just to remind myself like hey you're safe you're good you know this is don't don't don't stress on this don't allow this or that you know to to take you off focus of what you're what your goal is yes and I do feel like um being in organized religion settings can help can make you lose your focus sometimes uh that was certainly my experience I I love the connection to the divine the connection to the creator that was what felt so right and so good about that like one little part that they put in the religion and then it it seemed to come with a lot of other things I said well hold on like none of this really seems to benefit me and y'all are weird about virginity so that instantly turned me off too because how you want somebody to be a mother but they can't ever have sex like just stuff the math wasn't math in for me.

SPEAKER_00 45:05

And so I was like I'm gonna take this divine connection and I'm gonna go um but I will say there's a lot of healing to be found through my spiritual awakening and I think the healing and community and that like you know like yeah that I am that is what's drawing us together. That's what's that's that thing I think that we're all feeling and the the call to create a new world. The call to create society that benefits the most of us instead of exploiting the most of us for the benefit of the few. Like we never shift in that.

SPEAKER_05 45:46

Yeah and I know we you you you speak on community and I know we talk a lot about you know our you know kind of owning our own thing and and it being our our responsibility but you do also during this journey need a community as well. You can kind of be in hibernation mode and just kind of be to yourself but to really get the full effect of of it you really have to establish a community and sometimes it's really sometimes you may have to scrap that whole that that community that used to be there like whether it's the friends whether it's you know the the certain people that were around you that you're like I don't want to do what you're doing anymore. I don't want to you know those type of things or you have to really find that community that is right for you. For me it was one of my main things was okay how can I become aligned with other women who you know that I can look up to you know that I can say oh wow you guys have I've learned so much you know or or women that will pretty much change my mind about the you know friendships with women and and and creating healthy friendships with other women because a lot of times you know I've I've had so many experiences with you know so many bad experiences with with other females you know to be honest like and it was just it was to the point where I was like you know what I'm good I don't need any friends I don't need any you know I don't need any new new no new friends type of thing I don't need to meet and and it was just be it was because of that friend hurt you know just that hurt that came from the fact of wow you know I thought that we had a sisterhood I thought that we had and that's not it um so being able to find a community of I started to join communities to where I can really see with my own eyes of how you know different healed women healed women women excuse me um or women who are just going through the same journey that I'm going through like let's get together let's let's build each other up you know women who are able to put their ego aside put their pride aside secure women women confident women women who are not male centered women listen right like we're focused on goals we're focused on purpose we're focused on the same things like really making sure and that kind of goes back to aligning yourself with the right people you know um absolutely yeah so you definitely the amount of the amount of friendships that have ended between me and Mel Send girls it just is never gonna be a thing but um yeah I would say all of that all of that to what you just said you have to find the alignment you gotta find your village it's so important and especially through the spiritual awakening you have to find your village because this could be lonely work um learning to put down everything that you've ever learned before and unlearn it and learn something new can be very lonely radical work you have to find your village who is on that wavelength with you who can grow with you and I think that is my last word on this find your village find the people who are on your wavelength who are hearing the same thing as you who are waking up at the same time as you and then say well what would you be your last word what is if there's anything you haven't said or anything that you feel like needs to be said around spiritual awakening I definitely for spiritual awakening I would just say buckle your seatbelt you know you know buckle your seatbelt um don't be afraid to pretty much look yourself in the mirror and pretty much break your own walls down um it's really about owning owning your own mess um it's about really coming to terms with who you are so you have to be ready you have to be ready to face yourself it's it's it's very important um to get to that level too it's very important and once you do that oh my gosh you the way your life would just would just kind of change um it's almost like a new timeline of just just greatness so buckle your seatbo be be ready to fill fill all the fills it's going to be an emotional emotional journey you're gonna probably lose some people you but you you'll gain people too you'll gain the people that matter um so yeah buckle your seatbelt and do it and get it you know get it done do it for you don't do it because we're saying it do it do it do it for you for sure but yeah beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful and just know you're ready you know that's why you're here that's why you're listening to this episode is because you're ready to do what you gotta do. So if you're tired of and and to your point uh and I'll just say this last point if you are tired of dealing with the same outcomes in your life if you're tired of going through the those same kind of just sabotaging ways of living then it's it's time for you to sit down with yourself and start your own kind of healing journey advice Ty how can people hire you pay you put you on their platform put you home you can follow me at tie flood that's at sign t y I Flood F L O O D on all social media platforms um reach out to me on TIFD.net as well um you can just just reach out and I am I'm always open to new projects new uh new communities just new ways to uh show passion and purpose to the world so yes yes I love it oh my see this is the world I want to live in this is the world I want to live in it's all about it's all about turning pain to purpose you know passion is it and to your point like sometimes it comes from pain but once you turn into the purpose it's like wow this is great yeah like oh my god people oh one day I'm gonna tell y'all for real how much time and energy it took for me to be who I am today but also who I've always been right so it is a beautiful thing.

SPEAKER_00 52:58

I'm so grateful for all of the golden paths that I have intersected with in my own life and journey I am so grateful to everyone who listens to and supports this podcast. If again if this was your first episode welcome to the healing community um we bad bitches over here but um I look forward to seeing y'all out in the community please do use hashtag hot girlshealing to get into the conversations on social media definitely look out for me and my new reality TV pilot that's coming in 2027 if you see me out in Seattle say hi um what else y'all like we in here we four seasons V I have to come to Seattle yes you do come to come to DC whichever one comes first because I've never been to DC but I hear it's cute out there I hear there's like good restaurants so I like to eat it is it is but yeah so we gotta we gotta make some trips add some trips to your trips a real because we're getting out here we see in the world the world is gonna see us get used to being seen y'all uh somebody was saying that everything that you want is on the other side of visibility so don't be afraid to let your light shine and with that I will see you next time bye it's an oil it's a night of stress it's all about that we're doing it all way I don't know if we're doing it all the way I don't feel like