Ashley Opliger, Bridget’s Mom & Founder of Bridget’s Cradles

In this heartfelt conversation, Ashley Opliger shares her journey of grief after the stillbirth of her daughter, Bridget, and how it led to the creation of Bridget's Cradles, a ministry that provides cradles for families experiencing loss. Ashley discusses the emotional, physical, and spiritual aspects of grief, the importance of communication in relationships, and how grief evolves over time. She emphasizes the significance of honoring our children, navigating holidays, and the impact of loss on parenting. Through her experiences, Ashley offers hope and encouragement to others, highlighting the importance of remembering and talking about loss, as well as the comfort and hope found in Jesus Christ and the promise of heaven.

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Transcript

Speaker: 1:36

, . Hi, and welcome back. I'm Greg Buffkin, and on this episode, you'll be hearing a conversation I had with Ashley Opliger, who is the founder and executive director of Bridget's Cradles. Ashley is the author of a newly published book entitled Cradled and Hope, and is the host of the Cradled in Hope podcast. She and her husband Matt live in Wichita, Kansas, along with their three beautiful boys. This is a story that began with deep loss and suffering after the tragic death of her precious daughter Bridget to Stillbirth, as well as her dad's death in 2024. We'll talk about her grief journey and how our God of all hope began restoring Ashley and calling her to a ministry of hope and encouragement for other grieving moms. And now here's my conversation with Ashley.

Speaker 1: 2:52

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Speaker: 2:57

Well, Ashley, welcome to our podcast today. It is so great to have you with us.

Speaker 1: 3:04

Thank you so much for having me, Greg.

Speaker: 3:06

Yeah, absolutely. Ashley, why don't you take a minute or two and just tell our listeners a little bit about you? I I actually introduced you in before you hopped on. But if there's anything that you would like to add on a personal note, just the audience is yours.

Speaker 1: 3:26

Thank you. So my name is Ashley Oppliger, and I live in Wichita, Kansas, with my husband Matt, and our two boys who are eight and four years old. And we have a daughter in heaven named Bridget, and that's, I'm assuming we'll be, you know, sharing more of her story in a little bit and the ministry that came from her life, which is called Bridget's Cradles. So I used to be a speech language pathologist. That's my master's degree, but I resigned from my career to do ministry full-time. And so now I am the founder and executive director of Bridget's Cradles. And I spend most of my days doing ministry and motherhood and being a wife, and in my spare time trying to learn how to play the drums and some other interesting hobbies I have. But that's a little bit about me.

Speaker: 4:16

Wow. You said spare time. I don't know how you could possibly have any of that based on what you just shared.

Speaker 1: 4:24

I don't have a lot, but I have found that it's helpful for me to carve out time because obviously, ministry and motherhood, it's a lot of pouring yourself out for other people. And I've really found over time that that can be really heavy and hard. And so I do carve out time to go on walks and to exercise and to pursue some hobbies that are life-giving and fill up my cup.

Speaker: 4:51

That's very wise. You've learned something very, very wise at a young age. So as you're pouring out, yep. If you're not filling it back up, then you know you start running on empty, and that just we all know that doesn't work out very well usually. So glad that you're doing that.

Speaker 1: 5:12

I agree. I agree. And same thing spiritually. You know, if in the ministry, so much of it is leading other women to Christ and to sharing the hope of heaven and sharing biblical truth through the podcast and my book and support groups. And I think it's so important when you are in a leadership role like that, that you are also being spiritually filled through the word of God, through your church, through I go to women's events and conferences and retreats because I feel like it is so easy to just be pouring out, but not also being filled and to be having that personal relationship with Jesus. So that is something that's very important to me as well.

Speaker: 5:53

So well said, and such good advice to anybody who's listening. Let's circle back to something that you said just a few moments ago. Your ministry was started in honor of your sweet daughter, Bridget. So I know that you never really got to meet her like so many parents get to meet their children and have a relationship with her. But why don't you just take a few minutes, Ashley, and tell us your story of Bridget and the impact that her life, as brief as it was, has had on you and your family?

Speaker 1: 6:38

Yeah. So my husband and I, we got married in May of 2014. And shortly thereafter, we were expecting, and we were so excited to be growing our family. And we both wanted to have children and to grow our family, and so very excited and overwhelmed with just this miracle and this gift of life that we were given. And so about 13 weeks into my pregnancy, I was at work as a speech pathologist and was toward the end of my day. And I just started having very heavy bleeding. And one of my coworkers drove me to the emergency room because I was unsure of what was going on. I assumed that I was miscarrying. And obviously, that was just very scary as a first-time mom. And so went to the emergency room. They were able to find Bridget's heartbeat. At the time, we didn't know she was a girl because it was uh 13 weeks, but found our baby's heartbeat and they had found that I had a subcryonic hemorrhage. And they said, you know, this can resolve on its own, but it also can cause miscarriage. And so the best thing you can do is go on bed rest, go on medical leave from work and stay at home and just take it very easy. And so that's what I did for 11 weeks. And around 24 weeks is when I the hemorrhage basically turned into a placental abruption because the hemorrhage was behind the placenta. And I went into labor. And by the time that she was born, she was already in the arms of Jesus. She was still born, no heartbeat, no, no breathing. And even though we knew that was a very possible outcome because we had been going through all these complications and seeing all these doctors throughout my pregnancy, it still was just so shocking. We we were not prepared for that. And so in the middle of all this grief, and we have this little precious daughter, and we did meet her in the sense of we met her body. We did not get to meet meet her and make memories with her soul and everything, but we did get 24 hours to hold her body in a little cradle that my mom had knit. And that cradle is really what birthed the ministry because my mom had been trying to make a little blanket for Bridget in the case that she would be born early. And when she made this little blanket, she wondered how she would swaddle such a tiny baby in it. And God really gave her the idea to knit the sides up and turn it into this little cradle. And we were able to place Bridget in. She was only 13 ounces, so she wasn't even a pound. She was very small, but very perfect. She had fingernails and peach fuzz and eyelashes. And she was tiny, but just perfect. And so we placed her in the cradle, and it was perfect to hold her in in a very functional way, but also in a very dignifying way. And both Matt and I got to hold her for a day. And my my family and his family came and everybody got to hold her and we got pictures with her. And so, in the midst of this tragedy and this heartbreak, we had this cradle that was providing so much comfort, but also the peace of the Holy Spirit with us in that room and reminding us that she, even though her soul was not in her body any longer, that we would one day get to meet her in heaven and that one day Jesus would resurrect her body and give her a glorified body. And I think that was just what I had to cling to in that moment is knowing that even though death, there was the sting of death in that moment, that that sting would not last forever, that one day I would see her again. So that's how the ministry was born through the cradle and having this way to hold and love on her, just a very sacred, sacred way to hold her. And so from that, we started making more for other families at that local hospital. Um, my mom did, I should say, because I I don't know how to knit. I should preface that. Um, my mom started making more cradles and I started working on a website and a blog. And six months after the local news station wanted to do a story to tell the story of what we were doing and in Bridget's life and how we were helping other families at the hospital. And that story ended up airing nationwide on all these other TV stations across the country. And some news sites online picked it up and it went viral. And we were having all these hospitals across the country saying we actually really could use something like this to hold babies that are in the second trimester. So we, I mean, it was shortly after that that I resigned from my job and went into ministry full time and we became a 501c3 nonprofit. So that's how it all got started, and God has just been doing amazing things ever since then.

Speaker: 11:19

Wow, what an incredible story. And, you know, you said a few moments ago that you when it happened, you guys were totally unprepared. I mean, what parent ever is prepared for something like that? We don't we don't get an instruction booklet that includes the death of a child. And most of us don't grow up having conversations with other people or with from the church or really any other place of input about how we handle things like that in life that are so traumatic and that are so painful. And so when it happens, you know, you're just you're trying to to figure out how to wade through it when you feel like you're drowning and it's i it's incredibly messy, it's incredibly difficult. I mean, and that's an understatement, as you well know. And it affects different people in different ways, as as we both know. And there are people that are listening today, Ashley, that may be in that early season of grief and they're trying to figure out what happened to them because they don't feel they don't feel normal anymore. They have some of them probably have the grief brain that we all know about. And they may be having physical symptoms, and they're not sure if they're sick, if they've got some disorder. Is it the grief? What is wrong with me? Can you talk a little bit about how the grief and how that pain manifested itself in in your life, not just not just emotionally, but physically and mentally and spiritually as well?

Speaker 1: 13:11

Yeah. And I think it's so important to talk about this because when I shared my story earlier, it's easy to think, oh, she experienced the loss of a baby and then a ministry was born. And throughout that whole process, we're skipping over the grief and the journey that the Lord walked me through. And there were some very hard and dark days in the midst of that. And even 10 years later, and I'm walking through a different grief journey now, but you know, there's still really hard, dark days. And the Lord has shown me, you know, that he's going to be faithful and he's going to be with me in the midst of them. But it is very true, as you said, that grief affects you emotionally, spiritually, physically. And that's why at the beginning of my book, I talk about survival mode, which is how I view it as like there's a season where you truly feel like you're just trying to survive the grief. You feel like, I mean, for me, it was I couldn't eat. I didn't want to sleep, you know, or I should say it backwards. I couldn't sleep and I didn't want to eat. And it was just hard to navigate just the basic life functions and getting through the day and running through the motions and having, I mean, with for with when I experienced the loss of Bridget, I didn't have any other living children at the time. But now going through the grief of losing my dad, I do have children. And so it's been hard because there are other people who need me and I can't just lay in bed all day and and be sad, even though that's what I feel like doing a lot of days. And so it's very hard when you have to go to work. You have other people to take care of, and you have obligations that are pressing. And it's like, I it just feels so heavy. Like, how am I going to do all of these things when I just feel like my world has stopped and I don't even know how I'm going to get through the next hours, let alone all of these things? And so I share some practical ideas on that of just giving yourself grace and trying to ease the load of walking through that. And, you know, like for example, with food, it's like it's so hard and it's like to cook, have the energy to cook a whole meal. And so it's can you rely on other people to bring some meals, to have a meal train for a while or getting takeout more than you usually do? I mean, I know that's not something you want to be doing long term for your budget or for your health, but if it's something that you do a little more frequently during your grieving season just to lighten the load of not needing to be cooking all of these meals, I also give the example. This this kind of is a silly one. It seems silly to me, but I did this and I found it to be very helpful. Like I had such a hard time with dishes. And it was like, you know, at the end of the day, you've been grieving all day, you're just emotionally wiped. And then it's like to spend all this time doing dishes. And so we just got a bunch of paper plates. You know, it's like five dollars to get a huge pack of paper plates. And we would just use paper plates for a little while to be able to throw away. Yes, that's not the most resourceful. It's not something you want to do long term, but in a short amount of time, that it was like, this is going to significantly help me just lessen the burden of everyday life because grief is so overwhelming to me. That's a very practical idea, but there's obviously so many things to talk about spiritually too, when you're in the midst of this overwhelming, how am I going to get through the day?

Speaker: 16:43

Yeah. Absolutely. There's so many aspects of grief that doesn't meet the eye to the average person who's never experienced it. And, you know, while we don't want to minimize any form of grief, you've lost a parent now. We all eventually lose friends, we lose grandparents, but you know, when you lose a child, the intensity of that grief, I believe, from my experience and and in talking with others, has uh has a much deeper impact on on those who are left behind. And you know, you you said something a a moment ago that just you know that made me stop and think. So I know how this you shared how it affected you, Ashley. How did it affect your relationship with Matt? Because you know, men and women grieve differently. You know, we all do, but men and women grieve differently as well. So what did that look like for you know for the two of y'all and how did how did you process through that? How are you processing through it today?

Speaker 1: 18:03

Yeah. Well, going back to with Bridget, we were newly married. I mean, by the time she was a honeymoon baby. And so by the time that we found out that we were expecting, we had not merged our bank accounts yet. We had not gotten our wedding pictures back. And so we were very young in our marriage to be going through such a difficult loss. And I'm thankful that the Lord used her life and the grief to bring us closer together. But there were obvious, that was obviously very hard to walk through something like that in your first year of marriage. And for Matt and I, we really had to communicate our needs and how we we express our grief and what what we're needing in that moment and support each other in that. So just to give some examples, for me, I I really wanted to do a lot of things like in memory of Bridget to honor her. And, you know, whether it was planting a tree or doing a balloon release, something like that. And those weren't necessarily things that Matt felt like he needed in his grief, but he was very supportive and very engaged with me and being a part of those things. I mean, he dug the hole and, you know, for the tree and just helped me pick it out and was very much a part of it. But it was, it was more so something he was doing to support me in my grief than it was of something that he felt like he needed. And so I really appreciated that about him is that he was supportive. And then likewise for him, it was he grieved very different. And, you know, one of the things that I remember about that is we were working on finishing our basement in order to have her nursery be upstairs at our old house when this was all happening. And with her being born at 24 weeks, she, the, the nursery wasn't finished, and also the basement wasn't finished. And and so my husband really like poured himself into finishing the basement. And that was like something that was like, I don't know, something he could control or something he could just put his hands to as he was thinking and grieving and processing and everything. And that was helpful to him. And he a lot of times would deal with his grief more privately. Like he would just, we kind of had a bookshelf with some of the memories that we had from the hospital and some of the things that we had bought, Bridget. And he would just spend time just kind of sitting there and thinking and praying. And, you know, it wasn't anything, you know, some grand gesture or something like very outwardly that other people could see. And I I was kind of doing more of that type of grief, just very expressive with it. And so I think it for us, it was honoring how each person was grieving and not seeing them as, oh, well, you're not grieving because you're not grieving like me, or you don't care about my about our daughter because you're grieving this way. I think that was really helpful for us to just have grace for each other and also try to communicate what we were needing or what was important to us.

Speaker: 21:09

Yeah, that's well said, Ashley. It it is so important to be able to communicate, to have that kind of relationship where you can and and choose to communicate with each other because sometimes because we are so different, we don't automatically know what our mate, how our mate is processing something or how it's impacting them unless we can talk about it. There's only some So much we can observe. And that's and that's the outward manifestation of what we're actually feeling and thinking and processing. So I appreciate you sharing that. And the other, of course, is yep, we have to give grace to each other. And we have to do that every day. And and and I also hear you saying, don't expect your mate to grieve like you do. They may, but they may not. And neither one is right or wrong. It's just the way that each individual grieves. Yes.

Speaker 1: 22:07

And I would say also not making assumptions about what you think they are feeling or thinking, because the example I gave you about him just sitting around with her items, memorial items, and thinking and praying and just reflecting on her life, that situation came up on a Father's Day where I was expecting that he would want to go to her grave and be there. And so when he didn't go to her grave or ask us to go together to her grave, I felt like, oh, he didn't think about her, remember her that day. And and I made that assumption, not realizing he had already had that private moment himself. And so that was eye-opening for me, was that I had made assumptions that he should do this because this is what I would do on Mother's Day. And so that was helpful for me to say, well, that's not what he needed in that moment. And he can grieve differently than me, and doesn't make his grief any less or different than mine.

Speaker: 23:13

Right. Just it's just different. You know, the the that you brought up Father's Day. It's another reminder that for you know when you lose a child, people don't people I guess people often miss that for an entire year we're experiencing new firsts all along the way. You know, it's first Christmas without our child, first Thanksgiving, first birthday, first Father's Day, Mother's Day, and the you know the list just seems to go on and on and on. And sometimes those things are hard to navigate because it's so tender and it you still want to do something to remember and to honor your child. And it's also a way that you can sometimes draw other people into that with you because you don't want them to forget either. And that's one of a parent's greatest fears is that other people will forget. Where there's some how do you guys handle holidays, Ashley? Because, you know, sometimes people are people are are a little uncomfortable around us because they're afraid they're gonna say or do something that's gonna open up a a wound again, or they're gonna say something that'll hurt. So, you know, a lot of times it's us having to give grace, right? Mm-hmm. Trying to figure out how to tiptoe around all of that. So what would you say to that?

Speaker 1: 24:42

Yeah, first of all, personally, I'm very grateful to have a very supportive family myself and then my husband's family. But I have walked with many moms through our support groups that have not had the same situation and it can be very awkward on holidays, and their baby or their child is not brought up in conversation and there's like no traditions that they're included in, and so it can be very hurtful. So I do want to preface that by saying even though I've had um I've been very blessed with supportive family, and we have a lot of traditions that we do, and I'll share some of those. But um, I also know the hurt that can be associated with situations where you don't feel like your baby is remembered or brought up in in those milestones. And so that's something that we actually have an ebook for on our website on bridgett'scradles.com. We have one is for milestones about due dates and holidays and heaven day on different things that you can do. And I actually sh have pictures and description of some of the things that we've done. And it's not meant to be a checklist of like, okay, here's all the things you have to do. It's just here are some ideas. If they speak and resonate with you, then maybe that's something that you can incorporate. So that is a resource. If you want to dive deeper, it's it's a free download on our website and it just has a lot of different ideas on how to honor your baby or child on those milestones and holidays.

Speaker: 26:14

But that's great.

Speaker 1: 26:15

But also in my book, I talk about how to communicate with family and family and friends for those kinds of situations, because it can be kind of awkward going into, let's say, Thanksgiving or Christmas, and you're wondering, are they going to remember? Are they going to bring it up? And then if you don't say anything and then that day comes and passes, and they truly have not acknowledged that so hurtful and painful to walk through that. So I have some ideas and even give example text on like what you could say to someone, just saying, you know, I would really love for you to include our baby's name on a stocking or on an ornament or whatever it is that you would find meaningful. I think sometimes communication can really help clear up some of these things because maybe the family would be willing to do it and they would want to do it, but they're maybe hesitant because they're like, well, if I bring it up, is that going to make them more sad? And they just don't know how to support someone. And so that's actually another ebook that we have is for family and friends looking for ways to support a loved one who's lost a baby. It has all of these different ideas and even gift ideas on what you could give to someone if you're wanting to support them through their grief.

Speaker: 27:33

Well, those are some great resources. Listeners will take advantage of that. And I'll I'll have links within your episode description that that that the listeners can click on to take advantage of these resources. Ashley, you're you guys are what, almost 11 years out, right?

Speaker 1: 27:54

Yes.

Speaker: 27:55

We talked a little bit about what grief looked like in that early season. What are some things that that you particularly struggled with in that early season, but that over time, because we know that that grief changes over time, it never goes away, it just changes over time. What compared to what it looked like in 2014, what does that look like today and how and and how it manifests in your life and how you how it pops up sometimes when when you when you least expect it? And when it does, what it how do you handle it now compared to a few years back?

Speaker 1: 28:42

Yeah. Well, I think in the early days of grief, there were a lot of triggers that would remind me of Bridget, remind me that I had lost a baby and would kind of overtake my brain and you know, the amygdala hijack that I talk about in my book and just cause kind of emotional chaos inside of me. And those examples would be, you know, being out in public and seeing a pregnant woman and realizing, well, I'm not pregnant anymore, and I should have been pregnant or seeing a baby, and thinking, well, that baby would have been about the same age that Bridget would have been if she would have survived up to her due date and been born at that time. And so I think in those early days, there were a lot of reminders of the fact that I, you know, was no longer pregnant and did not have a baby come home with me. And those triggers were very overwhelming. And, you know, just anytime I would be at a store and see baby stuff, you know, in the baby aisle, and it was very fresh in my mind. And I think what the Lord has done over time is like a lot of those things do not bother me anymore. I do not feel that like overwhelming sense of just like flooding emotion coming over me when I see that. And that has been a combination of time and the Lord's healing because I talk about how I don't think time alone can heal grief or heal our wounds. It it, if we are not healing with the Lord and we're just stuffing our pain down, those things are going to continue to come up. But I think it it has been a combination of time and just the Lord healing my heart and bringing joy back to my life. It doesn't mean that I I don't still miss her. I'm not, I'm still very much grieving her and missing her and longing for the day that I'll see her again. But I don't feel the freshness of those waves of grief like coming over me where it feels like, how am I gonna get through this? You know, and my perspective has shifted from instead of thinking about how many days or how many years really it's been since I've seen her or since she was born, to focusing on, well, now every day is one day closer. And the older I'm getting, I'm about to have a birthday coming up soon. It's like, okay, I'm another year closer to heaven. Not that I'm wanting to have my life go fast or go to heaven right away, but it's just this understanding that I'm progressing, progressively getting closer to my ultimate destination, which is heaven for believers. And I think it is a very biblical way to feel to be homesick for our heavenly home. So that that's how that's what I would say is just over time some of those triggers have lessened and things that used to bother me, insensitive comments that people would make. Um, I've really learned to just give grace to them and not not take those with so much offense. Um, because still to this day, people will say, you know, oh, you have two children or you ha you're a boy mom. And it's it, you know, that could overwhelm me and trigger me to be like, well, no, I have three children and I have a daughter too, and allow that to really cause a lot of emotional distress. But now it's like I hear those things and I just give them grace. I know they're not intending to hurt me. And I just feel better equipped to navigate some of those harder parts of the grief journey.

Speaker: 32:12

Yeah. What I'm hearing is is a journey of healing alongside your journey of grief and how God has been restoring you so that now you can you can actually offer grace to other people and can understand a little better about the awkwardness that they feel as well. And sometimes that takes a while. I know it did for us, but eventually, with his help, you can get to that place and the and your focus in life becomes more about life and about being reunited with your child one day. And I think just being able to really embrace life at a different level than we did before. I mean, there's a lot of lessons that you know that you can learn along the way after going through that kind of of suffering and trauma. And you know, another area that gets impacted by grief for parents who have other children is how grief affects the parenting of your living children. Because sometimes it changes dynamics because it changes us. How do you do you think that that it's made you a better parent in some ways for for your two boys? And what does that look like?

Speaker 1: 33:41

I think having a daughter in heaven, especially a daughter that came before them and they didn't get to meet, they've grown up their whole lives hearing about their sister in heaven. And we've talked about her. We have a birthday party on her Heaven Day every year. We visit her grave often. And it's interesting because I did not go to cemeteries as a child. And so I wasn't really exposed to death and talking about these kinds of things, even though it's like death is a part of life. And I think it just kind of was avoided in my childhood. I didn't know many people who had passed away except for grandparents. And so I think for our children to be raised in a home where we are talking about heaven and about the gospel and the fact that, you know, Bridget's in heaven and we're gonna see her again. And I think it's made heaven that much more real to them and also just given us all this, even for me, a sense of my own mortality that one day I'm gonna be in the same cemetery as her if Jesus doesn't come back before then. And so I think having that understanding, honestly, like you said, it helps you live with a greater urgency. And for me, it has given me a more fulfilling life because it's like, well, I want to make my days count. I don't know how many days I get. And I'm going to see them. And I'm saying them, I'm talking about Bridget and my dad. I'm gonna see them again. And so I want to use the days that I have between now and whatever day that is to grow God's kingdom and to just live with urgency for the gospel and to love God and to love people well. And so certainly for our children, I think it's been an example of the gospel and it's given them just a deeper understanding of life and death and God and heaven and all these things that are really, you know, heavy topics, but are really important and uh it's given them a greater theology of God because of the conversations that we have in our house. And I think it also makes them look forward to heaven more because they know there's people there that or family that they're gonna see and they're gonna spend forever with. So it has definitely been a blessing, even though that's a weird thing to say. It's been a blessing.

Speaker: 36:11

No, I understand that. And I I think a lot of people who will be listening to this understand that. It it's amazing how when you lose a child, as a believer, it just kind of awakens your heart in a whole different way to heaven, doesn't it? You think about it in a way that you didn't before, you think about it more often than you did before. And it's like you, it's like you crave learning everything you can about heaven, doesn't it?

Speaker 1: 36:41

Mm-hmm.

Speaker: 36:42

Yeah.

Speaker 1: 36:43

Yeah, it's made me so much more excited about it. I think learning more about the biblical truth of what heaven is. I mean, I I had growing up just my own thoughts about what it was. And then when I really studied it more in the Word, and then also Randy Alcorn's book, Heaven, it was really insightful for me. Just understanding, you know, there's the current heaven that exists now, which is a temporary heaven. And then, and that's where our babies and our children's souls and believers' souls that die, they go to the temporal, current heaven. But then one day there'll be the new heaven and the new earth. And the more that I've studied that and really think about the fact that we will be on an earth, it won't be this earth because this earth is going to be burned by fire. But to know that one day we will be in glorified bodies, immortal bodies that won't die and are not corrupted by sin. And we will be there with our loved ones forever and ever. We'll never be separated from them again in a familiar place like Earth, but it will be a much better earth because it won't be corrupted by sin. And so you can't even imagine how beautiful that's going to be, because even the prettiest places we've seen on this earth will just not even compare. And so I I have a whole chapter about heaven in my book, and it's in the middle of the book, but then there's another chapter at the very end about our future forever, just talking about what's to come. And I think that's been so helpful for me is to focus on our hope-filled future in heaven, because that's where we're going to spend eternity. Our little lives on earth are like such a little blip compared to where we'll be forever.

Speaker: 38:25

How true. How true. And, you know, we're we're coming to an end of our time because I want to respect your time. I think you have another meeting after this. And so two last things I just want to ask you about. One, and this is kind of a it's a rhetorical question for two parents who have lost children, but for people that are listening who maybe it's not you who's who's lost a child, but maybe a loved one, maybe a friend. And you hesitate to talk about their child. Ashley, do you do you love to hear somebody use your child's name in the course of conversation? Or does that does that does that make you feel sad again?

Speaker 1: 39:15

No, it of course it comforts me. And I think most parents that I've talked to, they want their baby and their child's name to be brought up in conversation.

Speaker: 39:25

A hundred percent.

Speaker 1: 39:26

No, as you said, it's not going to remind you that you're sad. You're already thinking about your baby and your child. So I think that it is very helpful to have conversations and to ask people about their child and to ask them how they're doing in their grief and be willing to go into some hard conversations. I think it takes a great talent, I guess. It's a skill for people to really know how to be present in people's suffering because it's so uncomfortable for people. But there is such a ministry and presence and being willing to have these conversations and to talk to people about their their baby and about their grief journey and where they're at. And it is such a gift for grieving parents to have, to have someone that's willing to go there and to have those conversations.

Speaker: 40:17

That is so true. And yeah, it is it is a little awkward and uncomfortable, but you'll discover that once you once you try it and just think about them, don't think about yourself. Because believe me, if you think it's uncomfortable for you and awkward for you, just try to imagine how awkward and uncomfortable it is to be sitting in their place, having lost a child. So it's about giving grace to each other. And I love what you said about presence, Ashley. Sometimes the very best thing you can do for a grieving parent is to offer the gift of presence. It's very simple, doesn't cost a penny, and it doesn't take, it doesn't take an awful lot of anything, just be there. The last thing that I want to give you an opportunity to talk about, Ashley, before we go, is just a little more about your ministry. I mean, you have th we've threaded it through the entire conversation, but you know, you do a podcast, you do a blog, you have an annual event that's called Wave of Light. So you're you're doing an awful lot. It's amazing to me. What you're what you guys are doing. So tell us about any of that that you would like to spend some time on and how our listeners can either find out more about that or can get in touch with you guys.

Speaker 1: 41:52

Yeah. Well, I think you covered most everything. We, our primary ministry, are the cradles that we send to hospitals across the country. So we are now in over 1,600 hospitals in all 50 states. We send out around 30,000 cradles and keepsakes a year. And those are sent to hospitals for families to hold their baby in the cradle in the moment that they're born, after right after they're born. And families can choose to bury their baby baby in the cradle or they can keep it as a keepsake. But that's kind of our core ministry. And then from there, we have our support resources. So we do online and in-person support groups. So we're in Wichita, Kansas. So our support groups are at our headquarters, but we have an online one that's on Zoom and it meets every single month. And then we also have our podcast, Cradled in Hope. And we do monthly episodes. Although right now we're doing a book club, we're going through a chapter, an episode for my book. And so we're doing three episodes a month through the end of the year. And then as you mentioned, we have Wave of Light, which is our event on October 15th, which is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. And that's an event in Wichita. It's a candlelight vigil and water lantern release. But families all across the country can participate by sponsoring lights. And we have these 10-foot-tall light clusters. You'd have to go to our website to see pictures and videos of them. But they can sponsor their baby or child's name on the sign and we put their name on there and light it up. And even if they don't live here, we send pictures and we put their baby's name in a program and send the program to them afterwards. So there's still ways to be involved. But really, through all the different things we do, we do a Mother's Day event and a grandmother's event. Every single thing that we do is centered on sharing the hope of the gospel that we will see our babies again and that Jesus is going to heal our hearts as he holds our babies in heaven, which is the, you know, subtitle of my book. And so I think ultimately all the different resources and things that you'll find on our website are hopefully pointing you to Jesus and to finding hope in the middle of your grief.

Speaker: 44:09

Yeah, I agree. And I have I've visited your website and it it's it's an incredibly well done website, and yet and it does everywhere you look on that website, in some way, shape, or form, it points people to Jesus. And Ashley, I just so appreciate what you're doing for other grieving parents to offer them the hope that we have in Jesus, to offer them encouragement and such an incredible range of resources. So keep up the good work. And we look forward to hearing more incredible things about your ministry. Take advantage and click on the link that will be provided and order Ashley's book and listen to her podcast when you have the opportunity to. Ashley, thank you so much for joining us today. It has been such a treat to have you with us.

Speaker 1: 45:07

Thank you so much, Greg, for having me.

Speaker: 45:10

Absolutely. Thank you guys for listening today. If you have any questions or comments that you would like to make about the episode today, you'll find a link on the podcast episode description. And we would love to hear from you. Otherwise, we look forward to seeing you back in a couple of weeks.