You didn't choose the things that broke you. You didn't sign up for the moment Your world cracked open. You didn't ask mum and dad to dismiss your needs. You didn't ask to be bullied at school for looking a little different. You didn't raise your hand and ask for. The pain, the sense of rejection, the addiction, and the shame. However, however, those moments they made you. I have been through my own hell and back and. I know it's very movie moment, um, but hand on heart, how could I ever even consider changing a thing? All of it led me to this podcast right now. My little girl, Jess Louie, um, that's your origin story. It is just about whether you can stick with it long enough to see a decent ending. It's not the the polished version you you're gonna post in 10 years time. I'm talking about the version with blood under your fingernails, the version where you were on your knees, literally, or emotionally. And something in you said, get the fuck up. Not because you were ready, but because not getting up would've meant staying buried. Now we all love a good comeback story, don't we? You know the glow up the, the before and after the highlight reel. But the real story, the, the origin of your strength that happened in the dark, um, like Bain for fellow Batman fans, um, in the chaos, like Bain implies in the movie, you can't, um, you can't teach that. You can't. That's why it will become your superpower. In the moment, you lost everything that made you feel safe and somehow just kept going. You know, and this is the thing that most people don't want to say out loud, which is that version of you, the one that crawled through Hal. She's the one that's been keeping your head above water. The weight that you've put on over the years that you hate, that's been your survival. The people pleasing the saying yes to things that you should be saying no to. These are just her way, um, ways of just trying to help. And I know some of you listening still feel. Ashamed of all, of, all of those really low chapters. You hide them, you minimize them, you, you downplay them. But that's where your entire transformation actually lives. And again, I think a lot of you listening to this Will, will, will probably know that or hope for it intellectually. But we've gotta get you to a point where you actually believe it. And I think sometimes that takes, um, having somebody else believe in you a little. That was the case for me. Right. Um, I'm quite open about this point. A lot of so-called influences. They all talk a big game about, about. How hard they worked to find sobriety. And I did. Of course I did. Like it was hell. But if I hadn't met Jess when I met her, not only would you and I not be having this conversation right now, um, I'd probably be in the ground. People, people massively downplay timing. Like the, a lot of look is involved in this and that's why it's so important that when you feel any hint of a spark, any hint of inspiration, I know that there will be years underneath all of that, which will say, yeah, but it didn't work before, did it? You've gotta try. You've gotta listen to that because that little spark can change everything. I was going on a date with Jess. Um. We hadn't met yet. Um, it was, we just met online and, uh, I could have just said, well, I can't be bothered. You know, I could have like legitimately not through laziness necessarily, just like, oh, well my dinner's ready soon. Like how different things would've been. So when something comes along, whether it's this podcast, whether it's, uh, romance, whether it's anything I. You've, uh, you've got to listen to it. You don't become emotionally strong by reading a book. You become emotionally strong by surviving yourself. You are your biggest test. You have survived yourself up until this point, right? So healing is easy than surviving. It's just that with the surviving business, you've just gotten used to it because it's all you've ever done by facing things you didn't feel ready for. That's where the magic is by learning to self-regulate when no one is consciously coming to save you. That's where the magic is. That's the real inner work. It's not always gonna be convenient. And, and actually I will go as far to say it never will be, at least at the start. So that's where your voice, your boundaries, your leadership, all of it was actually born. It's already born. It's already started. Yeah, you just haven't been willing to acknowledge the bravery through all of it yet. So look, you might not have chosen what happened to you. By the way, if there's banging and stuff in the background, um, you do have to empathize. I still live in a house, uh, of children getting ready for school. Uh, Thea will be, um. It should be getting ready for nursery right about now. It's 8:00 AM on a Monday. Um, so vie, hey, we keep it, we keep it real. Um, where were we? So with all of the, the shit that's happened to you Yeah. You didn't choose it. Um, and a lot of people don't like it when I say this, but you do get to choose how you carry it. You just do. You, you just do, you do get a choice. And that's not coming from this, this quote unquote successful guy sitting in his ivory tower that doesn't get it. Like I've literally sat in the seat that you are currently sitting in. Like, I get it. And you do have a choice. It just doesn't feel like it. Some people carry their story like a wound. Mm-hmm. Others, they carry it like a weapon. Not a weapon to her's, others, but a weapon to lead to, to speak truth, to walk into rooms with a deeper level of power. Because, because they've already been through worse than judgment, worse than failure. The, the whole point of your origin story isn't to make you a victim. It's to remind you that you're already a warrior. You've already survived yourself. You've already done the hard work. Make it easier on yourself. So for me, that moment was outside that AA meeting for the first time that we talked about last week. Uh, but let me tell you what I didn't say, which is that moment wasn't about getting sober. It was about letting an old version of me die. When you allow yourself to feel the truth in that. Not only is it exciting, it's heartbreaking as well. This version of me that was only trying to help, I had to let it go. The version that thought I could think my way out of addiction, the version that believed I just had to be strong alone forever. The version that used performance and independence to avoid vulnerability. That version of me had to go. He served a purpose, he got me through, but the version of me who wanted peace, he could only be built after the breakdown. And, and that's the part that no one tells you. That's the part that your fucking self-development books don't talk to you about. They're all trying to sell you on advice, and it's not about information, it's about bravery. Your origin story is also your grief story because it involves letting go of identities you've clung to for dear life. So here's what I want you to, to ask yourself right now. Not in some, um, fluffy. Journal about it later, kinda way, like right now as you're listening to this. And as always, you know, if you're driving, be careful. Don't be a dickhead. Uh, as you're listening to this, the first thing I want you to ask yourself is, what moment in your life forced you to become someone new? What moments in your life forced you to become someone new? Question two, have you fully owned that version of yourself yet or are you still hiding her powerful, right? Have you fully owned that version of yourself yet, or are you still hiding her? Question three. If that woman spoken to your life today, what would she think of you? Would she think you're being a victim or would she say that you are moving forward? And bonus question number four, what would she tell you? You are still avoiding let that land. Take your time because that's the version of you that this podcast speaks to. It not the one who wants to be better, the one who has already survived how hell, and is still questioning is she strong enough? Because you are, you've already proven it. You're just making life more difficult. That's why we call it comfort of chaos. Hey, you don't need affirmations. You don't need, uh, another soft development book You. You don't need to wait until your healing is wrapped up in a, in a box with a fucking pink bow around it. What you'd need is to stop pretending you didn't already earn your power. You're not at the start of your journey. You've been walking through fire for years and you're still here. And I wouldn't, I wouldn't. Call yourself broken. I'd say you are battle tested and I know there's still pain, there is still not enoughness, there is still stuckness, uh, still patterns that feel louder than your progress. But hear me on this. You are not starting from scratch. You are starting from survival. Is there a more powerful place that you can start from? You know, like if I am, let's say if I'm hiring somebody into, into body nutrition, who do you think I'm gonna bring into the business? Right? Somebody who's had everything handed to them on a platter, or the person that's been through hell and back and is still fighting no matter. Whether it's romantically, professionally, personally, nobody wants a, uh, a silver spoon liquor, right? We don't wanna watch a film about it. We don't wanna read a book about it, and we don't want it in our life. We want the person that we know can handle hell, and you've already proven that you can, so why not make something of it? So if this, if this episode, uh, inspired you or cracked something open, remember what I said, even if it's something small, sometimes it's the smallest of moments or ideas or inspiration that can change the trajectory of everything, just like it did for me and the example I gave you about meeting Jess. We've gotta take the bull by the horns. So if it, if you feel anything from this inspiration, there will be a little voice, you know, angel and devil on the shoulder. There will be a devil on your shoulder saying, yeah, but every time you felt this way in the past, it's not gone to anything. Just this one time. Ignore it. You don't have to rationalize it. Right. How, how, how, how has rationalizing helped you so far? Exactly. So let's do something different this time. So it means that you are ready to start playing down this past and you're ready to start owning what it is already built in you. You don't need to hide your origin story. You need to honor it. So if you're ready to explore what that version of you might sound like, what she might say. What she might lead with. Go over to Instagram right now and message me the word podcast. We'll have a real conversation. No service level bullshit. Just a moment to acknowledge the woman who's already been leading. You just haven't, um, you just haven't given her a chance yet. That's all. She's there, right? Isn't that a great way to, to picture it? What I like to say to ladies that I bring into the program is we're not here to make you lovable, right? We're not here to, to make you enough to add, uh, strings to your bow. You already are. All of those things, you just don't know how to see it yet. All of the things that you will have in 12 months, 24 months, 36 months, and four and onwards. If you do choose the path that I'm talking about, all the stuff that you eventually get to was already there. There was just lots of shit in the way, you know, so this is, it was never about the food. It's about the layers underneath. The protection, the pain, the patterns that once kept you safe, but are now keeping you stuck. So let's rewrite the story one episode at a time. I'll see you next week.