You Won’t Think Your Way to a Breakthrough

You can’t think your way to a breakthrough ... but that won’t stop you from trying.

In this episode of It Was Never About The Food, Rob shares how a spontaneous trip to London gave him more clarity in 4 days than a year of “scheduled” self-reflection. No journaling. No routine. No pressure to perform. Just space, and the permission to not figure it all out.

Inside this episode:

• Why most breakthroughs don’t come from effort, they come from space
• How overthinking clogs your nervous system and blocks real insight
• Why you can’t “CEO-time-block” your way to creativity or clarity
• The power of stillness, boredom, and emotional detachment
• How to finally let go of the pressure to fix, heal, or force outcomes

This one isn’t about food. It’s about what it means to be human, and why answers often show up when you stop searching.

📲 DM Rob the word PODCAST on Instagram or FaceBook if this one gave you permission to breathe.

Transcript

0:00

So I went to London last week and I didn't have an agenda. Um, what I did, I had a little project that I wanna work on again. It's coming soon. I'll, I'll let the cat out the bag eventually. Um, but I didn't have any intention to find any other answers. And I got more than what I had been trying for consciously for like the last 12 months at home. So that's the mad part. I found more clarity in those four days than I have in the last year of trying to carve out time for it. So that's what I wanna talk about today. I don't wanna talk about food, I don't wanna talk about healing necessarily. I don't want to talk about trauma, I don't think. Just like this human condition that we have. Um, the way that we try to chase clarity, the way that we try to force answers. Wish this guy outside, piss off. The way that we try to intellectualize pain when really the thing that changes us is almost never gonna be changed in the way that we intended it to be. Um, so that's that. The second thing is the, I'm recording from my office today. Like my office away from home, so I don't have my fancy mic or anything like that. Um, so if there's like you just found, um, dickheads speaking too loud on the phone, smashing doors and what have you in the building, that's why. Um, cool. Let's go. You are listening to. It was never about the food, the podcast where we go deeper than diets discipline or self-help fluff. I'm Rob, and I'm not here to tell you what to eat. I'm here to help you understand why you became who you became, why you were trying to survive, because underneath every binge, every spiral, every breakdown is a story, and I want to help you rewrite it because the truth is, it was never about the food. Cool. So annoying doors, banging aside, uh, the illusion of productivity. So I think typical, not all the time, but typically who we work with, they. Have got everything else sued out in life, right? So if we're doing the right thing with videos and, and what have you in my messaging and how I'm talking, um, chances are that's you. And what we try to do is we try to almost schedule breakthroughs, which on the surface when I say it like that. Fucking ridiculous, isn't it? So there's a time and a place, right? Um, to a certain degree we need structure. Um, and we all have different minds. You know, some of us, like myself, we have a DHD, so there are certain necessities, like we need that shit. Um, so we build morning routines. The CEO calendars. Time blocked creativity hours, but the bigger answers, the answers that are normally trying to kick you right between the teeth, um, are more often than not, absolutely nothing to do with strategy. And that's with anything. By the way, this isn't just me speaking as a business owner. Um, this is me speaking as, as a parent, as a human, as a friend, as a partner, romantically, and we're so hell bent on finding solutions. Because they're logical, but I truly believe that logic, logical always sits within emotion. Always. You can never out strategize trauma, for example, you know, imagine saying to somebody, oh, you were sexually abused as a child. Um. Don't overthink it. It's already happened. It's in the past now, theoretically. Sound advice emotionally, right? Obscene. And it's the same with anything. Um, the real answers that we're looking for to, let's say breakthrough, they don't arrive when you are trying to like grip them. Uh, they, they arrive when. You committed yourself a bit of space when you're actually living, and this is something that I already knew, but when you are so stuck in whatever, uh, whatever the thing is, you know, whether it's business or whether it's food management, or whether it's your relationship, your profession, whenever we're stuck in it. It's very difficult to step outside and really look down on it because, you know, if we were to do that well then we're irresponsible. So the insight that you are looking for, like the breakthrough for whatever it is that you're trying to breakthrough, that's normally a byproduct. It's not. Um. It is not something you can really plan for. And if I dare do you bring it back to something like, uh, food and nutrition and, and stuff. It's like focusing on weight loss. How's that worked out for you? Fucking awfully, right? Because it needs to be a byproduct. What we want to do instead is we wanna understand, well, why is our relationship with food the way it is? What can we control of that little experiment? What's actually within our grasp? Because weight loss, that fluctuates regardless of what we're doing overall. Yes, we can point it in the right direction overall, but on a day-to-day basis, that scale is gonna go up and down. How much water you drink, uh, glycogen retention, um, how much food you've bloody eaten. Right. So you have no control over that, even if, quote unquote, you're doing the right thing, nutritionally speaking. And it's the same with this. So if I bring it back to my trip in London, um, I wasn't, first of all, it did come with guilt. So rest assured, even with the likes of myself, that guilt will be there. Um, I'm fortunate enough to have enough kind of awareness of myself to know that that will pass. I understand what that guilt means. I understand where it comes from, so I'm able to kind of give it the middle finger if I want to. So I wasn't trying to get answers. Um, so I actually. You know, I'm speaking to big game here as they're like, I just went there to be, I didn't, I went there for a project, right. That I'm, that I'm working on. And then I found all of this other stuff when I was sat at breakfast, when I was overhearing conversation to eat side of me, um, staring into space in this beautiful building that I was in. And I, I can't explain it really. There was just this, this space, this reset that allowed the creativity to come through. So it was a complete fucking accident. I was, I was just being, but I didn't even have the intention to go and say, well, this is your, this is your space to be. Created and think of some bigger picture things because who knows, maybe if that was the case, none of this would've happened, right? So by being in this new motion, uh, new spaces being completely anonymous, right? I wasn't there to speak with anyone. Nobody was relying on me. Um. That, that lack of responsibility and that, um, that anonymity, let's say, it was almost like, almost like a drug, you know, it was like being alive. I didn't go seeking clarity. I didn't go seeking a high. So all of this stuff found me when I stopped micromanaging myself. So I created space and then everything else, it did it on its own. The answers filled it. And I think a big part of that, and this is where you do come into it, I believe, is that you then have to be in a place of curiosity. Because I think those answers when they come to you, you know, it's not as though they come to you word for word in your mind and then you can just like take them, take them out and put them down on paper. Word for word. It doesn't really work that way. There's a level of trust that has to, you have to let through as well. You have to really, you really, you really have to have a level of intentionality. When you are permitting yourself this space, I believe, because stillness isn't as, let's say, passive as, as so-called productive, people like to see it as. Stillness is a fucking portal. It's where everything that you are actually looking for is sat. So most people hear the word space and they, they'll, they'll think laziness, avoidance, procrastination, wasted time, right? Because that's the world that we live in. And if you're a business owner, if you're a so-called successful person, that will ring true. But if you look at all of the, um, whether it's your Steve Jobs or your Walt Disney, um, almost every time they have a right hand man or woman who actually does all of the. Let's say the hard work, the graft and get fuck all recognition for it, at least as much as your Steve Jobs, for example. Um, and you Wal Disney's. So these guys are, there's a reason that we call them visionaries because they see things in a way that other people can't, and. There are very few people on this planet that can have a brain that can do both at the same time. Uh, let me look at myself, for example. I am great with systems, with processes, with KPIs, with designing them with root cause analysis. It's, it's, it's how our business works. Like we're brutal with data and, and things like that behind the scenes. It's not just video content, right? Um. But it boils the fuck outta me. And not just that it's, um, it's not good for me, like mental health wise, like if I get too stuck in that. What it ends up doing is it scratches this itch of not enoughness because you can always do more. You can always go deeper. Um, so no matter what the outcome, no matter how good grand, um, no matter how many clients you helped, no matter how many SOPs that you generate to simplify things for your coaching team or whatever it might be. If you are like myself, it's, it can be a never ending cycle, and that's dangerous. So for someone like myself, if I had a choice, I would always sit in that other space where I could just sit and give myself permission to be childlike. Um, so-called irresponsible and sit in that space. So I think for a lot of. Because allowing yourself that space, just the, just the permission of it is hard enough. But when you get there, stillness is, um, it's not laziness. And if you wanted to really put a good reframe on it for yourself, it's active receptivity. It's a way that you can actively receive. Everything that your deadlines and your, uh, task lists are blocking you from, if you allow yourself that space, the noise dies. The noise dies down enough for the truth to rise up because. When you are stuck, let me put it this way, if you have never done this, like deeper work, but you find yourself just fucking switched on all the time, just go, go, go, go, go, go, go. It's, it's performative. You know? You are, you are having to be switched on. By very definition, if you are performative, if you are performing, you are acting. You are not yourself. You are not being your true self. Your true authenticity is not coming out. It can't. You are just being productive because you want to be worth something. That's a conversation for a different day, but chances are that's what's underneath all of that. So if you are performing, if you are acting, it is false, by very definition, the truth cannot rise. In that case, if you are constantly thinking you are, you are too full to receive anything. It's not possible. You can't, you cannot do both things at once. You, you can't have it both ways, man. You can't. And okay, there's a time and a place. We live in the real world. We have to go through our graft and we have to do our right. We have to get shit done. I get that, but that's not gonna be the case for you because you are probably always getting shit done. You cannot give yourself that space. But this is me telling you what's in that space. It's not just, it's not just rest, you know, it's where. If whether you're looking for promotion or whether you're looking for weight loss, or whether you're looking for whatever, if you are stuck thinking your way to the next step, that's all you're gonna get The next step. What I'm talking about here is 10 x where you are. It's the ideas that your self-limiting beliefs. Would typically block you from, and a way that self-limiting beliefs block you from that stuff is through the procrastination of productivity, self-limiting beliefs will manifest through productivity. That's how it, that's how it will sell itself to you. That's, that's the sabotage. And then it's even more attractive because guess what? The Western worlds look, the Western world loves productive people. So you'll get paid more, you'll get promoted. It's stroking your ego. Everyone sees you as a problem solver, and you'll just keep going and going and going and going. So now it feels safer than ever, which is bullshit. It's just an illusion, again, time and a place. But if you are always in that space, you are just too full to receive what you actually need to receive. To get to what your actual potential is. Sometimes the most powerful shift is found when you finally do absolutely nothing. Okay? You can't force what you are not ready to hear. We all know that one. It's like a romantic relationship. Um. Whenever you are actively looking for the right partner, what happens? You come across as desperate. Um, they can see it, that desperation projects, it's offputting, it's needy, and it doesn't work out right, or we were so fucking desperate and lonely, we just latch onto anyone that will bloody habits, right? That ends well, doesn't it? It is the same with this. There are some things in life that you just can't force. You cannot force what you're not ready to hear. The answers you're looking for. Don't show up when you beg for them. Just like the person that you're looking for doesn't show up when you, for them, they'll run in exactly the opposite direction. Um, speaking from experience, of course. The right, um, the answers that you're looking for, they'll arrive when you are safe enough to receive them. Would you believe it? They've just started construction outside as well. We're having a good day, aren't we here when it comes to the privacy of podcasting? So where was I? Yes. They arrive when you, you are ready, when you feel safe enough, and that safety is often found outside of your head. I get it. It's weird, right? It's not logical. It sounds wooey. It's true, man. It's just true. Have you ever like gotten into a flow state with something before? Like that great state where time almost stops. Um, everything that was once stressful all of a sudden is no longer really a burden. It can wait. You're not even thinking about it. I think this is really what I'm trying to get at here. If there's something that I can try to help you relate this to you, you simply cannot out journal a nervous system that doesn't feel safe to relax. You can't do it. So let go of the timeline. Just let it go. Let in that truth. Clarity does not follow deadlines. It's, it's clarity doesn't give a fuck about your, uh, your social construct of deadlines. It just doesn't care. Sometimes what you need is a walk, a trip, a bath, a nap when you stop forcing outcomes. You start creating new conditions then, and that's where clarity thrives. It doesn't thrive in pressure. It thrives in these, these new, uh, these new conditions that you are creating with permission. So if you are, if you're stuck in that place where you're trying to figure it all out. Right. You're journaling, you are thinking, you're overanalyzing, you are obsessing. I wanna leave you with this along with the loudest machine on planet Earth outside, you're not broken because the answers haven't come. The answers are there. You are just too full to receive them. They are literally, you are on the brink, but you're not allowing them. Let it be boring. Let it be quiet. Let yourself not know for a little bit, and then trust. The clarity isn't found when you force it. It's found when you actually surrender to the moment. That's already here. It's already here. It's right there. It's right in front of you. It's with you now. It's just your head is somewhere else. So if this one landed, if you've been gripping a bit too tight and this gave you a little bit of excitement, a little bit of inspiration, a little bit of hope, a little bit of breathing room, DM me the word podcast on Instagram or Facebook that will mark the shift. That'll mark the letting go. We can have a chat if you need. Okay. So. I shall speak to you guys next week.