64 | Breaking the Silence on Mental Health with | Charlotte Jones-Morgan

Mental health deserves the same routine care we give our teeth and heart, and today’s conversation shows how to make that real. We sit down with Charlotte, a clinical therapist who serves at one of Alabama’s largest psychiatric hospitals and leads community initiatives to bring mental health education into the church. She breaks down the biggest myths holding people back, the early signs to watch for, and why anxiety spiked in recent years, from pandemic uncertainty to constant social comparison and financial strain.

Together we unpack the power of cognitive behavioral therapy and how a single thought can shape emotions, behavior, and outcomes. You’ll hear clear, practical tools: thought-challenging that asks “Where’s the evidence?”, grounding exercises that calm panic, journaling routines that contain racing thoughts, and short movement breaks that reset the nervous system. We also turn to family life, teaching kids to name feelings, share, and self-soothe, through Charlotte’s children’s book packed with real coping skills like bubble breathing and simple DBT-inspired techniques. For adults, we connect suppressed emotions to workplace behaviors and offer daily emotional check-ins, boundaries, and self-care strategies that actually fit a busy life.

Access is a central theme. Charlotte shares how to find help even without insurance, including pro bono options and sliding-scale platforms, and spotlights the 988 mental health lifeline. We also explore community programs like Hats Brunch and Mental, where grief, trauma, psychosis, and addiction specialists demystify care and restore hope. If you’re considering becoming a therapist, Charlotte maps the path and explains why doing your own grief and trauma work is essential for sustainable, compassionate practice.

If this conversation resonates, subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who needs a reminder that help is real, hope is practical, and healing starts with one brave step.

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Transcript

Welcome & Charlotte’s Mission

Intro/Outro 0:01

You're listening to the Off Balance Podcast, where faith, family, and business collide. Hosted by Brooks Deming, Doctor of Business Administration, Business Coach, and Resilience Expert. Each episode features real-life conversations to help entrepreneurs like you build resilience and lead with confidence.

Brooks 0:35

So many people are struggling with mental health, but the stigma and lack of understanding keep them from getting the help that they need. Today's guest has dedicated more than 20 years to changing that. And she also serves full-time at one of Alabama's largest psychiatric hospitals. With her background in counseling, criminal justice, and cognitive behavior therapy, she's known for meeting people right where they are and helping them take the next step towards healing. So, Charlotte, please welcome to October.

Charlotte 1:06

Thank you so much for having me, Dr. Brooks. I really do appreciate it.

Brooks 1:14

It is such a pleasure, and always, you know, that you are a friend of the show. So before we dive into our conversation, can you introduce yourself to listeners and tell them what it is that you do?

Charlotte 1:25

Yes, I am a mental health clinical therapist, like she was saying, at one of the largest mental health hospitals in the state of Alabama. I do have one of the largest units, which is like a 24-bed hall. Also, I am the owner of Cultivating Minds Counseling Group, which is a mental health agency. Also, I started mental health, I don't know what to call in the church. I started mental health auxiliary in the church. So we now have incorporated mental health in our church. So that's basically what I do. I just became an author this year in June. I wrote my first children's book. So I can talk about that later on.

Brooks 2:04

But yes, so that's basically what I do every day. Listen, mental health is so important. There's such a stigma behind mental health. So it's good to hear that you brought it into the church. What led your decision to do that?

Bringing Mental Health into the Church

Charlotte 2:17

What led my decision to do that is exactly what you said. It's the stigma. And I figure what better place than the church going around to the community, educating the community. That's what we do. That's on the mental health. I don't want to say board or we don't like to use those terms, but everybody that's that's involved with the mental health in the church. We also host once a year a hat's brunch in mental health where we bring in different the DA was there last year, commissioner uh was there this year. Bring in different areas, different areas that people may can elaborate and talk to the community about or is mental health. We just try to make it normal, normalize it. And just like people order a cheeseburger, you need to be able to say, hey, I got some issues going on as well. So, yes, so that's what we do in the church. And we got an event coming up called the holiday blues. We're getting ready to put that on to do that. So we got a lot of different therapies, grief therapies, because if you don't know, that is one of the highest times that people will die by suicide, is around the holidays. They'll get to their mind, their thoughts, get the missing their loved ones, and there you go. And it goes, it's just a it's a cycle. So we're doing the holiday blues, and it's gonna be the first Saturday in November. That is awesome. Is that open to the public? Yes, it's at Baker Zion Church. It is in Asheville, Alabama, off of Pleasant Valley Road. If anybody needs the directions, please let me know. But yes, it is open to the public. We want to educate the community on mental health so we can break that negative stigma that's related to it.

Brooks 4:07

Yeah, I would definitely have that information in the show notes so that if anybody's in the area and you're interested, that would definitely be something that you can do with you and your family. So one thing that I heard you say was it's the stigma, it's a misconception. So, with over 20 years in the mental health arena, what is one misconception that you see that people tend to have as it relates to mental health?

Misconceptions and Warning Signs

Charlotte 4:29

The misconception. When I hear like some core beliefs, people say, Oh, it's nothing wrong with them. They just putting on. They just uh ain't nothing wrong. They just be bad, they just that. Let a professional let's see what is going on. You never know. Mental health is just as simple as you going to the doctor for your health, going to the dentist for your teeth, going to the ophthalmologist for your eyes. We got to do the same thing for our brain because it can become overstimulated, it can become stressed, too stressed, and sometimes people are overwhelmed with sadness. So just don't say it's nothing wrong with them. Please just let someone talk with them and talk with a professional just to see what is going on where somebody's having some physical or something physical going on, don't nobody say nothing wrong with them. They just in pain. No, they take them to the doctor to see about that pain. So, yeah, that's a misconception.

Brooks 5:32

So if someone is listening and they have been feeling weird, but they can't quite put their hand on it, what are some of the symptoms if a person is maybe depressed or starting to experience anxiety? Okay.

Charlotte 5:44

And that is a really good question. So, for instance, anything that is interfering with your day, if it's an interference with your day where you can't complete your daily activities, you can't go to work, that is an issue. And if you're feeling weird and you just don't know, awkward, you just don't know what exactly is going on, once again, call you a psychiatrist, a therapist, someone, and do an assessment to see what could be the issue. If you're feeling hopeless, isolating, you feel like you're having a heart attack. A lot of time people mix that up with panic attacks. So you feel like you're having a panic attack or just negative thoughts running through your head over and over, feeling worthless. And sometimes people could people feel suicidal. So those are some things that's going on with you. Please contact a mental health professional. Now in the field of mental health, I know everybody has the 911 number. Mental health has their own number, 988. Please feel free to contact that number. Because, yeah, and it's nothing wrong with that. Even if it is nothing wrong, and you feel go ahead and just better safe than sorry.

Brooks 7:06

I'm so glad you shared that number. I had no idea that mental health had its own number. That's good information. So I am noticing that there have been a rise in anxiety. So, from your perspective, why do you think we're seeing such a significant rise?

Why Anxiety Is Rising

Charlotte 7:21

I really do think the rise in anxiety really stemmed from COVID. They didn't know what was going on medically, and people were just passing. And if you got sick, it went through your head. I wonder if I don't am I gonna make it? So I think it stemmed from that, and then it stemmed from when the kids came out of school and had to go back to school. They were scared. Teachers had to go back and teach. They were scared, principals. And I really do think that's where a lot of that is stemmed from. Then we was turned a lot to the internet, and the internet plays a lot into the anxiety. Whether people know it or not, they own that just for, okay, I have a seat, my friend, and this long, about my family member. Then all of a sudden you see Susie from high school, and Susie driving a Bentley, and Susie on this fantastic trip, and you're like, nah, I know I was smarter than Susie. How is she? So we find ourselves comparing. That runs up our anxiety, that comparison. And then a lot of the thoughts, you have to just pay attention. Over-exaggerating could be a part of your anxiety, overthinking could be a part of anxiety, catastrophizing. Then you hear old people say, You just make a mountain out of a mohip. So things like that, and I just think the internet has a big play. And I think that's where it's coming from. And then with prices, let's just be real, economics. How everything is going up, and people wondering, hey, is this AI? Is this gonna get rid of my job? Am I gonna be able to support my family? So that runs up anxiety as well. So and I it's just the way of the world. And that's why anxiety is on the rise.

Brooks 9:13

Wow, that is so interesting because most of the time when we hear about anxiety, we think of fear and that anxiousness. But I didn't think that it was other like over-exaggerating and all of that. That's very interesting. So if someone is listening and they may be dealing with anxiety, what would be a first step that you would recommend they take?

First Steps: Therapy and Thought Challenging

Charlotte 10:20

Once again, I hate to keep just knocking this, but my first step would be to see a therapist. But I always like to tell people act as if you're going to court and you're going in front of a judge when you're over-exaggerating or you just got all these things, what they say, the mind reading or overthinking, I'm not good enough, or this or that. Where is the evidence beyond a shadow of a doubt? Preponderance of evidence. Where is it at that you're not good enough? Where's the evidence that your girlfriend has not called you in an hour and you're thinking she's with someone else? Where is the evidence? So that thought challenging. So doing some thought challenging as well, while you're waiting on your appointment with a therapist and going from there. So, yeah, I think just challenging those thoughts, reframing those thoughts, replacing the negative with the positive.

Brooks 11:19

Let's sit there for a moment. So, rechallenging our thoughts. What is one practice that we can do?

Charlotte 11:25

One thing we can do, like I said, is the thought challenging. Where's the evidence? They're showing whatever you're thinking, where's that evidence? Also, to practicing grounding techniques, journaling, just journaling. Giving your if you're having racing thoughts, set your mind and appointment every morning at 9 a.m. That's when I'm gonna sit there and just write all my thoughts. Write all of my thoughts. If you want to make it to 9:10, 9:15, 9:30, that's up to you. So I just say 9:15. So 9:15 come around, you're done. So 12 o'clock, you're busy and you start seeing them thoughts racing again. Talk to them thoughts. No, you come back at 9.15 tomorrow. That's your appointment. So those are some things too to help you to reframe. So we got the journaling, we got the thought challenging, then exercise, going out for if it's just a 10-minute walk, just get that adrenaline form flowing, that dopamine, get it going. You're taking deep breaths, sending that air to sending that air to the brain, the oxygen to the brain to think clearer. It's so many things. Gardening is another one to get rid of those negative or racing thoughts, just to reframe and affirmations, saying positive affirmations, reaffirm, reaffirming. Because those negative thoughts just didn't come. Something had to happen in life, whether it was trauma or whether it was abandonment, something happened. The reason you feel nothing good can happen to me. So that's where the self-sabotage is gonna come in at. But nothing good is gonna happen to me. So for one, when you see a therapist, that's what's gonna connect your dots. And I love the CBT part where we go all the way back to childhood and then come all the way forward to the adult stage.

Brooks 13:28

And that leads perfectly into my next question because in mental health there are so many specialties, but you chose carbonative behavior therapy. But what led you into that field specifically?

Grounding, Journaling, and Movement

Charlotte 13:38

What led me to that field, cognitive behavior therapy, is because that's what I see a lot of. Even with anxiety, you can use that. Even with depression, you can use that, but not everything. If it's someone with a borderline personality, you may want to use DBT, dialectical behavior therapy. CBT is not gonna, it's just a preference to use dbt with that. So it is so much of the world suffers from depression and anxiety that's recorded. So just imagine the ones that's not talking about it because of what family members say or friends, what someone may think of me. So that right there, and that's what made me choose the CBT. Because I feel if we could just reframe my thoughts, we would be able to see the see life in a whole different perspective. The past that happened to us, that's what has shaped our world. And that's why we see things negatively, and it's your thoughts is what gets you. Everything starts with a thought. When a person becomes depressed, it started with a thought. When a person having a panic attack, it started with a thought. Okay, or anxiety, depression, it started with a thought. And that's how our brain is like a triangle. Everything starts with a thought, then you start feeling these emotions, and then you have the behavior. And that's just how our brain works. Thoughts, emotions, behavior.

Brooks 15:10

That's interesting. So that's why that's interesting because I grew up in a home to where we were taught to quickly move on, right? So we didn't really have an opportunity to process what situations or circumstances, how it made us feel. So looking forward as an adult, I can see how that was not healthy. So, can you kind of walk us through how suppressing our emotions can impact us as oh we grow size?

Why CBT: Thoughts, Emotions, Behavior

Charlotte 15:40

And that is a really good question. So, when we are told, and I was told the same thing, me, I didn't wasn't raised no different. Children are to be seen and not heard, shut your mouth, you don't pay any bills, sit down, be quiet, don't you talk back? A parent don't know what is going on with their child, but you have told them to be quiet, sit down, be shut up. It's not be quiet, it's shut up, that's what it is, shut up. And then so you teach them to stuff their emotions, not to say anything. You're not thinking this, but this is what happens in the long run. Then when someone they get on a job or they go to college and they have a friend that's walking all over them, they doing everything for this person, the friend walking up against, and they just keep going. They do not have a voice because you shut them up a long time ago. Then you may wonder why your son hasn't got married. Because you told him to shut up, he don't know how to communicate. And a woman likes communication because that is one of the keys to a healthy relationship. But he's not thinking that way. He's on a job, she's on a job. She got the same credentials as everybody, if not more. But everybody else getting a raise, they are not. And they know how it felt when the mother or the father told them, shut up, get in the room, their little heart just dropped because they hurt. They was trying to say something. So instead of experiencing that again, even on the job, they were not going to ask for a raise because they remember that emotion. They remember how their heart hit the floor. They're not used to being hurt. What they got, what they're saying, it's not relevant, it's not important. That is what we silently teach our children when we don't listen to their emotions. You never know. I'm thinking about a single mom. She's tired. I get it. Probably having enduring all type of things on her job. The child comes home trying to tell her about a bully. Get in there, be quiet. I don't want to hear it. I'm tired. And then this child going through some things, being bullied, how can they focus on work? How you know, and next thing the inevitable happens because nobody listened. Nobody would even hear them. So these kids are learning so much from this internet, too, and how to do these things. So we gotta listen to these kids. We got to listen to these kids. This is I don't know if you heard about the little boy that went on the field trip. No, I haven't. Went on the field trip, took a G U E into school, and you know what he did in front of everybody? You gotta listen. It's you don't hurt. Even if you type, you can fall asleep and they're talking. At least they got it out. At least they got it out.

Brooks 18:55

But so if you have a parent that's listening and they're like, I'm only mimicking what I was taught as a child, and that's my parenting style, what strategies can you share with us to help us to be better parents and to facilitate those conversations with our children?

The Cost of Suppressed Emotions

Charlotte 19:12

And believe me, I'm not saying I'm almost the best parent in the world. If I had a chance to do it all over again, I would raise mine differently because when you know better, you do better. So my thing would be listen to them, have dinner time with them, breakfast time with them. How was your day? What was the highlight of your day? What was the best part of your day? Why was that part so good? Why was that part of the day so what was the hardest part? What was the meanest part? And why? What made that a mean part? What happened? Who's your favorite teacher? What makes her him your favorite teacher? And just learning that child, that's conversation. Taking the child out. If you got more than one, take each one out. Have that one-on-one time with each one. Even if, hey, I'm taking Johnny to the movies on Tuesday, I'm taking Susie to the movie on Thursday. That's my one-on-one time with my kids. Then ask them about the movie. Seeing how much on top of that, you are conversing with your child, nurturing them, and then they becoming smarter because they get to repeat back what they seen, what they heard. And that is conversation. So that would be my thing, is just making sure we're spending time with the child, even if they want to be on the video game on their phone. No, this is our time. And they got to respect that because that's important. If you don't think it's important, they're not going to think it's important. They're going to think it's okay to come to the dinner table with their phone. You really should be eating and focusing on that. That's another mindfulness technique is mindfulness eating. You really should be focusing on that, and you've been with that phone all day long.

Brooks 21:00

And that's simple, but so impactful, just having those conversations and being inquisitive, because I like when my husband comes home and he'll say, How was your day? That just something that just warms my heart. And so I can imagine as a child, for your parents to say, How was your day? What did you like? What did you not like? My daughter used to say, I would say, How was your day? She'll say good, and then I would say, What was good about it? I would make her have to like really explain what was good about it. And so that is really great advice. And so you mentioned earlier that you wrote a book. Can you tell us about your book?

Charlotte 21:35

I'm gonna grab the book because I'm gonna just read the back, what the back says. It's Khalil and his meme. I actually wrote this book about six or seven years ago, and it was the time I have twin grandbabies. It was the time the PlayStation 5 or something like that had come out. Santa Claus brought the PlayStation, but he only brought one controller, and that was her. We talking about twins that used to have in everything, two of everything, two car seats, two potties, two. So we didn't realize it, but they didn't know how to share because they always had their own. So this is teaching about sharing, but I'll just read the back up here. It says Khalil and his Mimi. Khalil and Caleb are twin brothers who always have two had two of everything, like I was saying. But things began to get tricky when Santa brings a new PlayStation that doesn't want to let Caleb have turns, lead, and it leads to an argument. And I wrote this in a way that kids will understand it. Okay. Kids will understand it. Then their wise grandmother, which is me, uh uh, excuse me, teaches them the value of sharing, being fair, showing gratitude, regulating emotions, helping children to regulate emotions and to navigate through those difficult emotions, even when they are upset. What are you gonna do about it? So it's teaching them, and it's got coping skills in here, down to, and a lot of people don't know this, but this is one of the pages like blowing bubbles really does, even in adults, decrease anxiety. So we got real life coping skills in here. This pretty neat book, and this is one of my favorite pages. My Santa Claus.

Brooks 23:27

The illustrations are nice. So, how where can they purchase your book?

Charlotte 23:32

You could purchase this book, Walmart.com, Amazon, Barnes and Noble, Book The Million. You can also go to cultivatingmindshop.com. That's my website, and purchase the book. This is a paperback. We do have it in in the heartback. And just wherever you can buy a book, you'll find Khalil and his Mimi.

Brooks 23:55

Yeah, and I would definitely have that in the show notes as well. So, what made you write the book?

Parenting for Emotional Literacy

Charlotte 24:02

I had to get myself together because I was about to do something to those children. They mother was in at work and I was babysitting that day. And I actually just wrote the book like it may be, and I have changed some words and things around over time, but within one or two days, I was done because it was I had to show talk in here. I talk about self-soothing techniques. That's a DBT skill. And it got Khalil to come down to just feel your skin, feel your hand. How does that feel? And so when I was rubbing my hand over him, he got to laughing. He said, That tickles Mimi. It's all about diverting your child's attention to something else, teaching them to ground themselves. These teachers, they don't have to put the kid out of school tomorrow. They can get this book. It is a whirlwind of techniques in there. It's therapists, parents. So that's what made me write it. It was that them and that game. And how he thought he did not supposed to let Caleb play the game at all. He sat there on it for two or three hours. And Caleb, he said, he like me, he just sits there by me. I say Khalil, and Khalil all woof up. He just always been the mean one. He's always been the mean twin. So yeah. So that's what happened.

Brooks 25:24

So prior to the PlayStation situation, how did they play with other children?

Charlotte 25:30

Are you didn't pay attention? Look, they didn't. Because we either we kept them or now Khalil didn't, but Kalo enjoyed playing with other kids. Like when they went to their other grandparents' house and they had other children, other grandchildren, he enjoyed it. Khalil thought the whole world, he was in that egocentric state. Everything is me, everything revolves around me. So he had to learn that compassion to share, take turns, get in the line. You don't go first. So basic things that you may think a child may know, no, we Khalil just had to, and Caleb just always been like the follower. And Khalil would do something and he just followed. So yeah, so that's how that went.

Brooks 26:20

So if you have a parent that's listening and they have children and they notice that their child or their children don't like to share or don't like to be in spaces with other children, what are some things that they can do to help them get out of that stage sooner than later?

Charlotte 26:37

Teaching them about emotions, empathy. And when children are familiar with their emotions, they are better equipped to effectively communicate what their needs are, what their wants are. So I would say please teach them, even if you just have to go on the internet, emotions. I keep missing emotions around because you never know when you have to refer to them. And it's 137 emotions, and people don't realize that. They just familiar with the basic ones. But just that and teaching them empathy, empathy is in that book. How do you think this child feels? Asking those questions. How would you feel if someone did you like that? How would you feel if you were standing in the line to get on a sliding board outside on the playground and someone jumped in front of you? How would you feel? That child feels the same way. So just teaching them that compassion, that empathy, and they're and about emotions.

Brooks 27:39

Yeah, that's really good because I know some adults. I have worked with some adults that have not learned to regulate their emotions. They have little tantrums on the job. And a tantrum in an adult is not kicking and all over the floor and stuff, but it is uh passive aggression that's in emails. It's walking around trying to get everybody else to gang up on that person. And so it shows up in the workplace as well. So if you have an adult that's listening and they have not mastered regulating their emotions, what are some strategies that we can do as adults?

The Children’s Book and Coping Skills

Charlotte 28:12

How we need to regulate our emotions. Once again, I'm gonna go to the journaling. And it journaling helps us to regulate our emotions because so we start to see things, a pattern, like what is going on? What could I have done better? What could I do? Everything starts with self. Self-awareness is gonna help you to regulate your emotions. Are you sure you know yourself the way you think you know yourself? So I would say self-awareness, journaling, becoming familiar with your emotions. How does your body feel when this emotion occurs? What triggers this emotion? So when we know what triggers us, we know what to stay away from, or if we're not in that mood that day, we know what to go to and what not to. So that's where a lot of the self-awareness, self-awareness is gonna come from. And just being emotionally intelligent. And that's where those that's where those emotions gotta, we gotta get familiar with ourselves. I tell, and to help you regulate your emotions, check in with your emotions at least three times a day. When you wake up, how do you feel? Around lunch, what's your emotion? Before you go to bed, what's your emotion? I guarantee you they probably change all three times. So what happens? What made me feel tired? What made me angry? What made me frustrated? What made me feel embarrassed when I did this today? No, just checking in with those emotions, and that way it's gonna help you to regulate those emotions. And of course, grounding techniques, just looking around nature, five things you can see, four things you can hear, three things you can touch, things like that. So just becoming in tune with yourself and using grounding techniques, deep breathing skills, muscle relaxation, eating. Eating healthy is another one. Sugar. I don't know if a lot of people do know, but just in case, just like I found out, sugar is another reason that people can become depressed. And sometimes when you're feeling sad and depressed, you can't regulate that emotion as well. But knowing your triggers and knowing your being self aware.

Brooks 30:28

Yeah, I think self awareness is very important. And so not only are you on a mission to break the stigma around mental health, but your husband has also joined you. And so you guys have this event that you have. It's called Hats Brunch and Mental. Can you tell us about that event? And what prompted you to start it?

Teaching Sharing, Empathy, and Play

Charlotte 30:47

So, what prompted me to start, I'm going back, is that stigma. We got to change that stigma. And that just means all the time, we got to change that stigma because it's people suffering in silence, depressed in silence. And this is where you get when people take their life. It's because they feel somebody's going to judge them. They couldn't even reach out and get that help that they really rightfully deserved and needed because they were so afraid someone was going to talk about them, call them crazy. What is crazy? Please define the definition. And a lot of people can't. So, yeah, so he does. So we tea together and we're doing this hats brunch in mental health every year. And we had at the church, we've had it at a civic center gymnasium before. The next year will be our fourth year. This is our third year. And like I said, we get people from different disciplines. Like I had an EMDR therapist to speak, a grief therapist that spoke, one that deals solely with psychotic behaviors. And so they speak and they're helping people that maybe have seen these signs and symptoms in their families, and the families knows what to do. A lot of times the families don't know what to do, but we're educating. We also had like different organizations called Raw's. It's a recovery center because we're doing substance abuse as well. And that's a part of mental health. Just don't drink and do drugs for no reason. Something happened in their life that caused them to, hey, I need to take a break. Let me get out of this environment, this get out of this reality right now. And that's what leads them to the compulsive behavior, the drinking, the drugs, the gambling, the sexing, things of that nature. And we like to hit on that. And sometimes people don't know why. But when they hear one of the speakers speak, they be like, okay, that's the aha moment for them. And it's connecting the dots. Okay, this is when I was hearing my stepfather come up the stairs. And so now, and I would cringe. So now when I cringe, I go get me some gin, I don't know, some fucking bossier. I don't know. Just to take me out because guess what? The body keeps the score. So when you feel that cringe, it's gonna take you back to that little seven-year-old girl that was running from the stepfather. Okay. So the body keeps the score. So you may suppress or repress your some memories, but the body's gonna always remember them. And that is one of the best books I tell anybody. And I get no money for this, and you don't either. But we are helping somebody. The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel Bandekal. That is one of the best books you can ever read in your life, besides the Bible. And he teaches, he tells you about that. He even hit the veterans with the PTSD, the complex PTSD. So, yes, please, if y'all you all can, please get that book, The Body Keeps the Score. And that's what happens. That's what drives people to wanting to drink drugs. And that's the part of the substance abuse we have there. And it's a free brunch. I have it catered every year. So it is free. Now in the end, we will take up a donation. This year we had a speaker came from Is it uh Clarks, Clarksdale, Tennessee? Clarksdale, okay. Clark, okay. And she spoke, she was so powerful. She had been in prisons, she was a three, three, four-time felon. But in the end, now she works for the same people that sent her to prison. So, and it was, yeah, so we just try to get speakers like that just to give somebody some hope. It is people out there that's gonna help you, just so they would know we are here to help in any way we can. And my husband does, he's a veteran. So a lot of times when people call him, he gets them in the VA. He'll drive them down to two or three hours away. He's driven them down there to recovery, to rehab. So he goes to the bat too.

Brooks 35:08

That's really good. So, how do you hope that sharing your gift and sharing that passion for mental health, how do you hope that will impact your community?

Charlotte 35:17

That would be make me so happy just for people to accept it and just start saying, okay, yes, it's normal. It's just like any other medical, anything medical going on. Oh wow. Oh, that would be oh, fantastic. I usually say if I help one person in a year, I'm satisfied. But the numbers are moving. The numbers are moving. More people are in therapy now. I'm not sure whether it's because of the telecounseling, the telehealth. More people are in therapy, however, you get it. And some counseling agencies, they just text. That's not for me, but some people probably can deal with that. That's not, I can't do the texting. So I have to be telehealth in person. So they offering it different ways, but if that was the case, I would love that. That I would absolutely love that. I know that's my calling, that's my mission. So I'm doing what God wants me to do. And if you look at Exodus 31 and 3, when you are in your calling, no matter what's going on, he's gonna give you that power to fulfill that calling. And so it's all it's all for the edification and the glorification of God.

Adult Emotional Regulation at Work

Brooks 36:44

So wherever it goes, listen, he definitely has given you the capacity to take on all that you have taken on. Because if for those of you that are listening, so Charlotte did an episode with me on my YouTube where we talked about self-sabotage, and that is one of my popular downloaded shows. When I tell you, are you serious? Look at God. Yes. The people always reach out about that episode and just about thank you so much for sharing and just thank her so much for coming on the show. Wow. So you are definitely moving in the space that God has gifted you to move in. And so that's why I'm excited for you. I'm so happy that you have tapped down to the children's arena to be able to share strategies for parents to help deal with their children. Because sometimes when our children act out, or sometimes when our children are not complying with us, we result so we're bigger than them versus really trying to have strategies to help them to process their thoughts and to help them to learn how to communicate. And then when we meet other adults that don't know how to communicate or that don't know how to regulate their emotions, we're upset, but we don't recognize that we're raising little children that will eventually turn into adults that will do the exact same thing. So I'm so glad that you wrote your book. So you talked about so much here on today. So as we prepare to wrap up, what's one message or a piece of advice that you can leave with our listeners that may be navigating their own mental health struggles?

Charlotte 38:24

Give up. It is really good. I hear a lot of people talk about, I know we didn't touch on this. A lot of people say, I can't go because I don't have insurance. I can't get this because I don't have the money. They're not gonna see me for free. Do you know how many people I've seen for free? Especially when it's something serious going on. But let me say this it is therapist out there, it is psychiatrist out there that does pro bono work. It's a thing called taxes. Let me write that off because I'm sick of paying these taxes. So it's a lot of people doing pro bono work. I say that never just don't give up because you don't have the money or you don't have the insurance. It's and I don't want to just call out some names, but it is platforms out there that will help you. Open path, psychology today, black therapist rock, girls rock. It is a lot. You just got to get out there and just put in that, put in it for that platform and see who is offering what. Call them. Sometimes just talking. That's how I end up seeing somebody for free. They call me. And I listening to the story, I'm like, I can't just let these people go. And guess what? It was no skin off my back. I it really didn't even matter to me. It's not gonna make or break me, but what I do know, I help somebody, and that's what gives me the satisfaction and uh the gratification of knowing I have helped somebody. Yeah, don't give up. Mr. Places are here to help you.

Hats Brunch, Trauma, and Substance Use

Brooks 40:01

Yeah, that is so important not to give up and not to let anything that you think is a barrier or a challenge stop you from seeking the help that you need. And it's so interesting because while you were talking, something wants me to ask you this. If somebody is listening and they want to go into this field, but they're thinking that it may be too much for their mental health. As a therapist, what strategies do you use to make sure that you are good mentally?

Charlotte 40:27

Whoa, you know, what I do to make sure I'm good mentally is like I'm gonna go back to my church. I'm gonna foster me a good social support. Mentally, I'm gonna, I have gotten up, start getting up every morning, exercising. I feel so much better. Working on eating habits, because all that's gonna intertwine. That's gonna work together for your mental health. You and saying no boundaries, you can't say yes to everything. Because after a while, you'll realize you cannot pour from an empty cup. You gotta replenish. So self-care is very important. I always thought self-care was good once a week, but I hear so many people say no, five days, six days. That's wonderful. I can never get it in like that. But self-care, doing something for yourself at least once a week. Twice a week. If you can do five, that is excellent. But just saying no and knowing that it's okay. That's okay. My plate is full right now. Check with me in about three or four more weeks, and let's see where I'm at. So in three or four more weeks, guess what? That person done solved that situation. And you fancy free again. So, yeah, I think just boundaries, prioritizing yourself, the eating habits, exercise and balance. What helps me with balance and is the time management, me writing everything down from importance for the throughout the day. But if something throws a curve in that day, I will forget the whole thing. It is, yeah, so yeah. So balance is very important.

Brooks 42:07

Yeah, that's really good advice because someone is listening and they like, Miss Charlotte, you have been in this field for over 22 years. So, you know, what to expect? You know what you're doing. But for those that are, they're like, I want to go to school and I want to be a therapist. What is one thing that you learned down the road that you wish you would have learned faster?

Access, Pro Bono, and Don’t Give Up

Charlotte 42:28

That I needed grief counseling for myself. That was part of one of my traumas. One day I was in a group. In group, I was doing group and it hit me. And you learn so much, too, that's gonna help yourself. But a lot of things you wouldn't need a therapist for. It is so fulfilling. I would tell anybody, please do it. If that's what you want to do it, it's a your undergrad degree, then you go on with your master's, then you got to do 3,000 hours of clinical time. They're gonna put you in different settings and getting you 3,000 hours in your supervision. And next thing you know, bored taking your test, you're gonna take your exit test as well, but then you'll take your board exam. Yeah. So I would tell anybody, please do it. Really helps your mental health, and it's it helps you with understanding, compassion, empathy of other people, especially like one time I seen someone say, Oh, you know what? But there were kids laughing at a man, he was talking to himself. I had to go do, oh, y'all know. Let me say this. Why do you think he's talking to himself? And then I told him, I said, but did you all ever have an Uncle Johnny in the basement? And everybody wants to hide Uncle Johnny, and they was like, Yes, ma'am, we'll go from there. I said, So this is okay. He said, if he is talking to himself, he could just maybe need his medication. And guess what? I found out a lot of times people come off their medications because they can't afford it. I'm like, oh my goodness. So it's still a lot of work to do in the mental health field. That's why I said, please, by all means, become a therapist. We need more. I had my little 13-year-old client tell me, Miss Charlotte, if everybody had a therapist, this world would be a better place. I just got my therapist this year for the first time in May that I've been seeing my therapist. Because when you, if you haven't gotten over, and this was my situation, grief, like a trauma. That was a trauma for me because that was my mom. She was killed by a drunk driver. And I was in the car. I'm gonna have, I'm gonna have, and I had things that, oh, if I would have did this, if I would have did this, conflict, feeling guilt. And that just helped me. I could say that just that really is helping me to deal with that. And then after that, my sister passed. But guess what? I didn't even hear from this grief. Now I got grief on top of grief. So I'm not a soldier. What I am, I'm worn down with a lot of things on in my head, on my body that's causing stress. Yeah, so it's things like that's gonna help you to become self-aware of your own misconceptions, things that you might overlook because you're so focused on someone else.

Brooks 45:33

Yeah, thank you so much for sharing that. Because I think sometimes when people go into specialty fields or fields where they have to help people, they think they have to answer it perfectly when actually all they have to do is do the same work that they're asking their clients to do. Yeah. So thank you for sharing that. So for anyone that is listening, I will have Charlotte's information in the show notes so that you guys can reach out to her, whether it's for therapy, whether it's to purchase her book, attend any of her events that she has coming up. I will make sure that I have all of that information. So again, Charlotte, thank you so much for joining. You are always welcome on this show because we just love you so much here and we love all that you stand for.

Charlotte 46:13

I think the world of you, Dr. Brooks, the world, she has it together. And she was one, you I'm sure you know, my one of my inspirations. You inspired me so you inspired me to get my stuff together, write it down, time management, put it together. So I'm so much better. Thanks to you. Oh thank you. Thank you so much. So you never know what part you're playing in somebody's life. Always be on your best.

Brooks 46:42

That is so true. So y'all heard it here. So make sure that you are showing empathy, make sure that you are seeing people. Sometimes a person just wants to be validated by someone seeing them. So all it takes is a smile and a simple hello to change someone's day. So again, guys, thank you so much for listening. Until next time, be resilient.

Intro/Outro 47:03

Thanks for listening. Please rate this episode and share it with your family and friends. To learn more about your host or to book a coaching session, visit www.brooksdeming.com. Until next time, rise.