What if the reason you are exhausted is not because you have too much to do? Or what if you're exhausted because you have spent too much time showing up for everyone else while slowly disappearing from your own life? Welcome to Wellness to Success Podcast. I'm your host, Dr. Martine Canal. I am a nurse, self-care strategist, author, but most importantly, a woman who knows what it feels like to be strong for everyone else. Now, today I wanna talk to the woman who keeps saying, "I don't have time. I don't have time to rest. I don't have time to exercise. I don't have time to work on my dreams," or, "I don't have time to travel." But the worst is, "I don't have time to take care of myself." But somehow we find time to work for everyone else, and that is what I want to talk to you about, um, today. For many women, especially women over 40, being strong has become part of our identity, right? We're, we're the ones people call, we solve the problems, people rely on us. We remember the, the appointments. We take care of our families. We are part of the ge- uh, sandwich generation. We carry, you know, all the responsibilities at work. We manage crisis. And even when we're exhausted, we keep on going. But there's a cost to it. There's a hidden cost to always being the strong one, and that cost sometimes can make you start losing yourself, can make you be weak, can make you lose your strength, can make you lose your identity because you stop asking, "What do I want? What do I need? And what makes me feel great," or, "What makes me feel alive again?" You become so focused on surviving in your life that you forget how you're supposed to experience it. Now, I know that personally because when I was 16 years old, I watched my mother suffer a massive stroke. Now, her life changed Automatically, in an instant, overnight. Now years later, I found myself working, going to school, raising a family, and pushing myself constantly, just like my mom. Until one day my body started sending me s- warning signs, symptoms. That's when I had to face a difficult question. Am I building a successful life in order for that one to eventually break me? And that's when I took a step back, and that's when I started to change. I had a mindset shift because I didn't want it to break me. I didn't wanna end up like my mom. Now many of us say, "When I have more time, I'll take care of myself," like when the children are older, or when work slows down, or when I make more money. When everyone else is okay, that's when I'm gonna slow down. But the question is, is not when you will give yourself permission, the question is, when will you give yourself permission to take care of yourself? Permission to rest, permission to dream again, permission to change your mind, permission to say no, permission even to reinvent yourself to the person you wanna be, permission to want more than a life filled with obligation, permission to be happy, permission to laugh, permission to be free, permission to feel joy. When will you give yourself permission? Now, I want you to ask yourself three questions. Where am I constantly saying yes when I really want to say no? Okay, very important. Second question, what part of myself have I neglected while taking care of everyone else? Is it physical, mental, or even social part of myself? And the third question is, if I continue living exactly like this for the next five years, will I be happy with where I end up? Now sit with that last question because this is exactly, what made me change. Because I was so busy doing tasks and filling up with responsibilities that I lost myself. I was having symptoms like headaches. I was having pain in my abdomen. I was having abdominal, gastrointestinal symptoms. I was neglecting myself. And after I sat with that question and I answered it, that I was able to change my life and become the person that I am today, and really believe that we have to live our best life every day. 'Cause you do not want to have that wake-up call before it turns into crisis, before you break down. 'Cause that wake-up call is realizing that life, that the life that you're living no longer fits the woman that you're becoming. So here are three things that I want you to do this week. Number one, stop. You have got to create a space, a safe space for you. Maybe it could be 15 minutes with no phone, no TV, no work, no scrolling, and no one asking you for anything. You have to take the time for yourself. And you have to ask yourself, "What is my body, my mind, and my life trying to tell me right now?" So this is the important stop for you. Number two, I want you to choose one thing that belongs to you. Not to your children, not to your spouse, not to your employer or your business, but to you. What is it that you want to do? Is it walking, traveling, writing, dancing, even starting a business, or just sitting quietly with a cup of coffee in a park somewhere? Choose one thing that reminds you that you are a person, not just a list of, of responsibilities. And number three, put yourself on a calendar. Okay? Set boundaries. If it's not scheduled, the world will take that time from you. Schedule your rest, schedule your joy, schedule your dream, schedule your life, schedule your physical activity, schedule everything. Because once it's scheduled, you will do it. That time will be sacred, and you will create those boundaries so that you take that time for yourself. Now, I wanna leave you with this. You do not have to wait until you're burnt out to make a change. You have to prevent that. You do not have to wait until your body forces you to stop or go into a crisis. You do not have to earn rest by exhausting yourself first. You have got to schedule rest in between what you do. And you do not have to abandon the woman that you're becoming just to keep everyone else comfortable. You've got to be able to say no, or maybe not now. Your wellness is not separate from your success. Your wellness is the foundation of your success. So ask yourself, where have I been aban- abandoning myself, and what is one way for me to come back to me? Now, if this episode spoke to you, I want you to share it with another strong woman who needs this reminder, who needs to hear it. And remember, take care of yourself before life forces you to. My name is Dr. Martine Canal, and this is the Wellness to Success podcast. Please follow me on social media, and until next time, protect your peace, honor your needs, and keep becoming the woman you are created to be.