PepTalk
Everybody needs a cheerleader...somebody in their corner hyping them up to perform their best. That's me. Everybody also needs a Coach...somebody in their corner giving them tips to tap into all of their potential so that they can make the most of their life! That's also me! This podcast is where those two elements converge and I speak to you about ways to work hard, pray harder, believe better, and live life to the fullest in every single way on every single day! It's time to level up, elevate, and slay the day! Have you had your pep talk yet?
PepTalk
What Do You Do When You Just Want To Quit?
Have you ever stood at a crossroads, the weight of decisions pressing against your chest? That's where I found myself, the mic cold in my hand and a heart full of doubt. This week's episode strips back the curtain on the inner turmoil that haunts even the most dedicated podcast hosts and people, period. As I wrestled with the thoughts of hanging up the mic after 60 episodes, I bring you along on my raw and turbulent journey, sharing the trials of fluctuating listener numbers and the sting of comparison that plague even the most inspiring voices.
The path ahead may be cloaked in shadow, but together we search for the light, hunting down the lost sparks of motivation and fanning them back to life. I confront the siren call of quitting, dissecting its many faces—burnout, impostor syndrome, and the murky waters of self-doubt. It's a conversation that bridges the gap between host and listener, as we face down adversity and rekindle the flames of passion and purpose.
Packed with wisdom about perseverance, motivation, and the search for joy in the process, this episode is a raw look at the realities behind the microphone. What inspires YOU to stay the course when you feel like quitting? Your feedback is more than welcome; it's desired. So, dive into this episode, and share your thoughts!
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On this episode of the pep talk podcast. We're talking about quitting, specifically me quitting. But before we get to that, I have a question for you. Have you had your dose of pep today? No, don't worry, I've got you. Now let's get into it.
Speaker 1:Welcome to the pep talk podcast, the podcast that cheers you on and coaches you up. We believe that you're great, we believe that you are destined for greatness. You are living a life of purpose, on purpose, with purpose. But as great as you are, there's still another level that you can aspire to. There's still more within you to dig into and to pull out. That's why we say that our mission is to cheer you on, because everybody needs a cheerleader, but we also want to coach you up, because everybody needs a coach, someone who can come in with a different perspective, someone who can speak with an unbiased viewpoint on the way that things are going in our lives, and different perspectives that can help us achieve the greatness that sometimes lies dormant within us. And that's what we try to do every Monday and the last two weeks, also on Wednesdays, I've given some bonus episodes the last two Wednesdays, which have just been some things that have been percolating on my mind, and I call them pet bites, and they will be intermittent. Let's say that they won't be regular by any means, but as long as I have something midweek that's burning in me, then I definitely want to keep dropping those episodes. So, please, let me know how you like them. Continue, please, leaving your ratings and your reviews. Listen, if you leave a review on the podcast, I will give you a shout out on the subsequent podcast episode. I will give you a shout out. I will read your review verbatim as a thank you. And so, hey, just subscribe, tell your friends, tell your family to subscribe, because we really do believe in the mission of this podcast and the vision behind it.
Speaker 1:But even with all of that said, even with all of the belief in the mission and in the vision that I have in this podcast, I I felt the need to be honest with all of you listeners out there. And I'm going to be honest not because I want to win brownie points or, you know, empathy or sympathy, because none, none, none of that. But I do believe. I do believe that I never want to come across as somebody who has it all together, even though I come on to this podcast week by week and I'm offering solutions for all kinds of things. The last few weeks we've been talking to men about choosing intentional manhood and I'm almost done with that series. But I felt like this, this message needed to take precedent, because I need to speak to both my brothers and my sisters and I need to use myself as the backdrop, as the canvas, because, man, this week, maybe the last two weeks, it's been really, really, really hard maintaining the motivation and the pep that's necessary to be consistent with this podcast. Y'all. I thought about quitting, I really thought about quitting and, at the very least, I thought about and I'm thinking about maybe it's time to wrap up season two and take a little break to prepare and revamp for season three. And I'm going to be honest, because I feel like it can help someone, that Even being 60 episodes in this is going to be episode 61 overall.
Speaker 1:There were 28 episodes in season one. There have been 32 episodes in season two so far. So this will be episode 33 and overall episode 61, 61 episodes. And we have seen highs, we've seen lows.
Speaker 1:We started out with a listenership of I remember the teaser that I posted got 50 listens. The first episode got 100 listens and then, you know, as things started happening, we would alternate between 20, 25, 30 listeners. Then, toward the end of last year, something happened. We had a spike where we went from 35 listeners to 70 listeners, to 80, to 90, to 100 listeners I think. We had a high of 120 listeners on a single episode. And then the number started to dwindle back down.
Speaker 1:And I know I say all the time, I say all the time that it's not about the downloads, it's not about the listens, it's about the one person who needs to hear the message. And then that is still the case. But again, being a human being, the human that I am, and continually watching the analytics, tell me that something is not hitting right with the audience. And you know being in spaces where podcasters who were just starting out are hitting massive numbers and are getting all types of engagement and interaction with the comment that comes off of their podcasts. I know it doesn't matter, but in the part of me who does this because I want to change lives, it does matter and I can admit that, even as I tell you, even as I tell you that doing this podcast is some of the most meaningful work that I think I do in my life and because it's so meaningful to me, I believe that I can come on here and I can tell you that I really thought about quitting because I didn't realize I didn't, I didn't fully count the cost when I came in to doing this.
Speaker 1:I just knew that I had a message. I just knew that there were people who needed to hear this message and that I felt responsible for using my voice right and to build a platform, because nobody's going to give me a platform. So I said let me build myself a platform out of duct tape and cardboard, right. Let's get this Yeti snowball mic that is not well thought of in the podcasting community. Let me get me some inexpensive headphones off of Amazon and let's press play and see what happens. And even in the midst of all of that the excitement, the motivational aspect of it, the mindset work, with me getting on talking about the things that I've done to correct some mindset things that I had going on, the shifts that I've had to make to get to this point in my life, y'all I'm sitting with myself and I'm like maybe this podcast does not need to continue. That's tough, because I can stand by a statement that I made earlier on this season that this will be a ranked podcast. It's going to be a recommended podcast on Apple. I still believe that.
Speaker 1:But there are these pockets of moments in the midst of the process and in the midst of the progress, no matter what we're doing, no matter how we're working, where, when we're not seeing the results that we think that we should be seeing, then we really begin to wonder. The thoughts begin to set in is anybody actually listening or are they just bots? So and so has a community of supporters who are supporting them on Patreon, and they're making bonus episodes and giving them to only subscribers. And on one hand, I'm clapping like you go, you go, but on the other hand, I'm like I don't want to charge anybody for this. I just want to know that people are listening and that it's helping. And again, I'm being completely honest, the human part of me this week I even talked to my wife about it was just about the fact of do I really want to keep doing this? And it's not because it's hard work. No, it's not because you know it takes me 40 hours per week to prepare the content. No, it's none of that. It doesn't take me 40 hours per week. I read up on stuff. I don't jot down notes, I just come on and I record what's on my heart. I pray before each episode and I just hit record and then whatever comes out is what I believe needs to come out to help the one person out there who needs to hear the message, or the two people who need to hear the message.
Speaker 1:But sometimes quitting becomes a very attractive option when you're not seeing the results that you want to see. I mean, let's talk about it. Beginning of the year resolutions I want to lose weight, let's go to the gym. Okay, let's go to the gym After one day. I don't see any. I don't see any evidence, but I'm just sore, it hurts. So instead of going every day now, I'm going to go every other day and then after two weeks I still don't see any progress.
Speaker 1:Quitting becomes an option. Right when I start that new diet oh my gosh, I'm not losing weight and I'm hungry all the time. What in the world? Quitting becomes an option. It becomes really, really attractive in relationships when you know there's somebody that you like and they don't like you back. And you keep pouring, you know you keep trying with the flowers and they hey, let's go hang out, nothing's happening. Quitting becomes an attractive option and we get to a point where, if we're honest, if we're honest and here's the thing that I don't often hear talked about in the motivational videos what do you do when your belief in yourself has been extinguished and you no longer have that inner drive, that inner fuel to continue pressing forward toward that mark, toward that purpose, toward that goal?
Speaker 1:Because as much as I podcast for the impact and as much as I podcast for the people that I want the message to reach, there's a part of me, there's a part of me that also podcasts because he wants to see growth in the podcast. And I don't believe that's wrong and I don't think that those two things are mutually exclusive. Yes, you can podcast to reach people, but you also want, you want it to grow because you want to. You want to meet more people, you want to reach more people. And so I started thinking.
Speaker 1:I came home after church and I didn't podcast on Saturday, like I normally do on purpose. I just needed to. I just I didn't want to think about the podcast. I came home from church and I was thinking about what can you know? I had some things that I could talk about for the men. But I said I don't just want to talk to the men today, I want to talk to everybody, everybody out there who has not seen the growth, who has not seen the progress, who feels like they're stuck in the process, they feel like there are nothing is happening, nothing is making moves, nothing is working. And I just want to talk just really quickly about what do you do when you want to quit. What do you do when you want to quit Like I want it to quit?
Speaker 1:And I started thinking about some reasons why we feel like quitting. So there are any number of reasons and this isn't an exhaustive list, but it's harder than expected. You get into something and like, oh crap, this is building muscle is going to be really, really hard. Building a loyal, engaged, follow up group, community of listeners and engages is going to be. It's going to be hard. People are oh, what do you mean to tell me? People aren't just going to come and flock to it because it's me, what, as I clutch my metaphorical pearls. It's harder than expected. So we want to quit. Oh, we don't have a clear why, purpose or goal. When you don't have clarity, you don't have anything.
Speaker 1:I've said that before Life gets busy and you don't have time, I think sometimes it's a cop out and a myth, but it can also be a reason. Bobby want to quit. Priorities are a values change. Okay, you're experiencing what they call shiny object syndrome, where you know you're doing something for a while, then something better happened. You're like, oh, let me jump onto this trend. Now, let me jump onto this trend. You're like squirrel and we're going looking all around for the next big thing instead of staying in our lane and working with the thing that we're working with for the long haul. We also want to quit because what we're doing it's not what we expected. We expect one thing and the outcomes and the analytics tell us that it's completely something else. Personal circumstances change. There's burnout and fatigue and for all of my teacher friends out there so many of us it's not just teachers, but you know my tick tock is filled with teachers who are at the burnout phase the burnout and fatigue are real. So we want to quit.
Speaker 1:It feels like no one believes in you. You feel like you have no support, but even more than that, you quit believing in you and y'all. If I'm honest, I hit a moment where I quit believing in me and in the mission. I felt like so much of a hypocrite because every week I come on and I tell you that if nobody else believes in you, you have to. If everybody else is saying that you should quit, you can't afford to join the mob with their pitchforks in there and their fire stand. You should quit. If nobody else believes in you, you have to believe in you. And I felt like such a hypocrite this week because I quit believing in me, even though I had support from my wife and from my family and other people who I know. Listen. I quit believing in me. And let me tell you this it doesn't matter how many other people believe in you. If you quit believing in you, you have to believe in yourself. Then all of your motivation will disappear because you can't. It's not enough fuel for everybody else to be there saying go, go, go, go go. It has. There has to be something on the inside of us that says, no, you can do this, you got this, you can do it.
Speaker 1:Impostor syndrome is another reason why we want to quit. We don't feel like we deserve to be where we are. We don't believe like that. We deserve to have the success that we're having, or to be in the room where we find ourselves, or we're too busy comparing ourselves to everybody else to see that what we have inside of us is more than enough. And it may not look like what anybody else's looks like, but when we're authentic to who we are and listen, I'm talking to myself and I'm being honest and I'm pouring myself out. I'm putting my business out in these streets, but I'm also speaking to you out there who also struggle with imposter syndrome.
Speaker 1:At times. It, it, it hits and for some of us it's never going to go away. But we have to learn how to manage it. We have to learn to to recognize the signs. And this week, y'all, I didn't recognize the signs. I haven't recognized the signs that I've spent too much time looking at everybody else's success story, that I started to minimize my own 60 episodes. I posted I use threads sometimes to engage in the podcast and community there. It's thriving. So many podcasters, so many, it's really really cool.
Speaker 1:And I posted that I was thinking about taking a break, that I'd gone 60 episodes in and the, the, the passion wasn't there. The, the, the, some something was missing and I don't I don't remember who it was. I said 60 episodes. I'm only at episode five and I'm realizing how hard this is. 60 episodes is massive.
Speaker 1:And I took a step back and that slapped me across the face and my first thought was dude, how can you think about quitting? How? And I'm going to tell you and I'm going to shift to you know why we feel like quitting. And now I want to talk about. I want to talk about what to do when you feel like quitting, because I promise it's going to happen. I watched my wife in her chiropractic program. She she hit several points where she felt like quitting, where she wanted to quit, and I wouldn't let her. I just was like no, you're called to this, you're chosen for this, but I want to talk about what to do when you feel like quitting. Some solutions and you take what you need. You throw the rest out. You know you throw the rest out, but, but, but, but there's something in here that you need, there's something in here that I needed. Now, talk about what I needed. Okay, because the first thing when, when you feel like quitting, you need to reexamine your wife.
Speaker 1:I told you all in several podcasts that I used to have a podcast called the Y cast and it was centered around answering the question what's your why? But not just that how are you using your why to leverage impact in your community? I love that podcast because everything for me has always come back to why. And Simon Sinek, he's big on the power of why. But when you feel like quitting circle back around to your why, why are you doing it for me? For me, I do this podcast primarily because I want to impact people's lives. I did. I do this podcast because I believe that there is something that God has placed within me that if I'm not in a pulpit speaking out, I don't have to be in a pulpit. I can just pull up a mic, I can pull up my phone and I can encourage people. That's my why, because I believe that God has called me to do this. He's called me, you know, to preach. He's called me to teach. He's called me to be an encourager of mankind. So that's my why.
Speaker 1:And when I lose sight of my wife and all of a sudden, the analytics begin to begin to matter more, the success is that other people have begins to matter more, and that's why clarity is king. If you don't have clarity, you don't have anything because when you were clear on your why, it is a consistent and constant fuel, so long as you continually take time to remind yourself of that why. So you can't say one time, this is my wife and then believe that that's going to sustain you for the rest of your life. There are going to have to be moments, at regular intervals. I'm finding and I found, where you're going to have to sit down with yourself and reexamine that why and see if that why has changed. Because if the why has changed, awesome, take that new why, uh, build around it and keep it moving. But if your why has not changed, you still need to make sure that that why is planted dead center of what you're trying to do, because everything around you is going to become a distraction. Your thoughts of what's going right, your thoughts of what's going wrong, your thoughts of how you can improve all of those things are going to be swirling. People are going to say they love it. People are going to say they hate it. But when you have your why and you are in a process of continually reminding you what your why is, your why will continue to push you forward and keep your mind on keeping the main thing, the main thing. So when you want to quit, you've got to focus on your why, and I've been thinking about my why a lot this week.
Speaker 1:Is this podcast so that I can become famous? No, Would it be cool if this podcast became globally known? Yeah, but based on where listenership is happening. The pep talk podcast has gone global at different intervals. Yeah, I can't get distracted by all this other stuff. I have to zoom in on my why, and my why is all of you who are listening and all of you who have even yet to listen. There are people are going to listen to this podcast and what I say is going to be perfect for them, but I also have to be okay understanding that some people are going to listen to this podcast and say, nope, this guy's a hack. He has no idea what he's talking about. He can't help me. Somebody's going to listen to this episode and say, why should I ever listen to coach Jay again, he wanted to quit, but he tells us not to quit. That's fair. I'm being transparent and I'm being vulnerable and that's going to turn some people off, and you know what? That's totally fine, because I take power in my weakness and in my ability to be honest and straightforward and transparent about what I'm going through and hopes that it helps somebody else to not go through that thing. So when you feel like quitting, step back and reexamine your why.
Speaker 1:I ran across this second reason on a blog called jqcom and I'm going to link it in the show notes so that you can go back and see it. But it says do it for the plot, do it for the plot. I think I'm going to adopt that. Do it for your plot. What it means is doing something for your personal storyline, as if your life was a movie, or for a book. And boy, that's interesting.
Speaker 1:I don't know who would play me in the coach Jay story. Okay, I know, not Morgan Freeman, because I don't talk like Morgan Freeman. I know that was bad, I'm sorry, but what it causes me to think about as an English teacher is that in every plot there is a conflict, because a story is nothing more than a conflict that needs to be explored and resolved. Think any story that you've read like I'm listening again to the way of King series by Brandon Sanderson Bra is whoa. Sanderson is a goat. He is a goat, but his stories Explore these conflicts. One of the primary ones is between dark eyes and light eyes in this world. In this world.
Speaker 1:But when you say do it for the plot, in my mind what that basically means is in the story of my life. Is this inner conflict that I'm having right now? Does it make or break my character, like at the end of my story? If somebody going to read the story of my life or watch the movie when they get the next you know handsome up and coming actor to play, coach Jay, will this inner turmoil, this inner conflict, will someone look at the story of my life or read the book of my life and say he allowed this to break him? Or what do I want the plot, the storyline of my life to be? What do I want the conflict arc to be? What do I want the resolution to be? And whatever I want that to be, do it for that plot, do it for it. Think about your story, think about the movie of your life, whoever's going to play you, and understand that the obstacles, the conflicts, the struggles, the setbacks are all necessary, coach Jay, they're all necessary.
Speaker 1:So this moment where you're having doubts about the future of the podcast and continuing the podcast and whether you can do this, whether people are listening, whether you are inspiring or encouraging anyone. Those thoughts are necessary and how you choose to respond to them will determine the arc of your story and the development of your character, and I need you to pull from that what you will do it for the plot and understand that the obstacles and setbacks have to be. But you have to determine I have to determine how much power we give them to shape us or to shove us down. I don't want mine to shove me down, but I am exploring them because I want them to shape me, to make me better, to make me stronger, and I want yours to shape you and to make you better and to make you stronger and to help build the type of character that will sustain the success that is eventually coming if you don't quit. I'm also going to give another another, another reason or another thing to do when you feel like you'd want to quit.
Speaker 1:Take perspective, look at what you are going through through the eyes of someone else, and that could be going to someone that you trust and talking to them about what's going on and getting their thoughts about it. That could be. That could look any number of ways, but sometimes I have found that my I have such tunnel vision and I tend I tend to not be patient. I always thought that I was patient, but I'm not patient. I'm not patient at all. It's like the HG Wentworth commercials it's my money and I want it now. It's my success and I want it now. It's my this and I want it now. I don't want to wait for it.
Speaker 1:But when you have people that you can bounce ideas off of and you can get different perspectives and you allow people to tell you about yourself cause we need people, we need to get people permission to do that then those additional perspectives can help shift our own, because it's not always about you. Sometimes we will go through things for other people and other perspectives can help us to see that, because it allows us to zoom out and to quit being so micro focused and get more of a macro view. Zoom out Okay, it's okay to zoom out and get more of a vision or an image of what's actually happening and how it's shaping you and what it's doing on the inside of you. So, when you want to quit, get a different perspective and also and also, when you want to quit, get back to the fun. Just have fun, have fun, have fun, have fun. Find a reason to smile in what you're doing. Find a reason, like I think, about my kids when they get bored. Sometimes they just start making up silly songs, they make up silly dances, they put on shows like our oldest, they used to just put on shows like oh, I wish I could show y'all some of the videos of my three oldest, kayla, caleb and Kanan. They used to put on shows for us. Kayla would be the lead singer or the preacher, caleb would be like the backup dancer, kanan, when he came along, would play the drums with perfect rhythm and they just had fun with what they were doing.
Speaker 1:And I think about that sometimes, especially with regards to this podcast. In the beginning it was fun and I've got to get back to the fun of it. That's something that I told myself this week. It's got to go back to being fun and it's got to go back to being light and it's got to go back to just being me putting my voice out there and whether people listen or not, whether people co-sign or not, it doesn't really matter. Yeah, in the end, I want listeners, I want downloads, I want a community of people that I'm a part of, that we are vibing off of one another, that we're building one another, that we're cheering one another on and we're coaching one another up. That's what I want ultimately. That's what I want this to be. But if it never happens, can I look back and say that I had fun doing it? You bet I'ma have fun. I'ma have fun.
Speaker 1:So when you want to quit, go back to the fun. So again, maybe you're out there when you're listening to this and you're in that spot and you want to quit and you don't want to keep doing what you're doing, even though you know it's what you should be doing right now. But you don't see the payoff, you don't see the reason behind it. It just feels dumb, it feels like you're wasting your time, it feels like it's never gonna pop off. People are never gonna know you. Okay, check your why, do it for the plot, get a different perspective and then just have fun. Just have fun.
Speaker 1:And I think that doing those four things will help you get past the quitting, and not saying that the road after that is gonna be any harder, I mean any easier. It may be just as hard, it may be just as fraught. You may feel like every day that you want to quit, and maybe quitting is necessary in your case, but in mine it's not. And I'm willing to bet that if you really sit back and take stock, you will see that these obstacles, these bouts of inner turmoil, these storms, these desires to quit, they're not here to ruin you. They're here to make you better. So let them. So let them and listen. This podcast isn't going anywhere. We're not quitting. Season two is coming to a close, so there will be a break after that, during which we're probably gonna do some rebranding. Yeah, we're gonna do some rebranding, nothing too big, but I think it's gonna be necessary for the life, the life cycle of the podcast. It's always good to reinvent, it's always good to rebrand, it's always good to keep things fresh. But I just want you all to know that I love you and, if you're listening, I appreciate you rocking and rolling with us every episode.
Speaker 1:I hope that my expose expose I guess I don't know what you call this honest episode. I hope my honesty has helped someone who has been in this spot, who feels like they're in this spot or feel, or will be going into this spot at some point, of wanting to just lay it all aside and just leave it all behind. There is a way forward. There is absolutely a way forward, and I believe in you. I also believe in me, justin. I believe in you. Dude, you're doing good work with this. Sometimes you got to tell yourself out loud I dare you to do that with yourself and to keep going because, believe it or not, whether they will ever tell you, there's somebody out there who is impacted by what you are doing that you feel like nobody sees. Okay, now I'm going to ask you to do me a favor. If anything that I've said, if it helps you, if it has spoken to you, if it has given you some clarity, leave a review, leave a rating, leave a review and, even more importantly, share it with someone who comes to your mind as you listen to this episode. Don't just keep it to yourself. Share it with somebody else and in doing so, you will help spread pep and spread encouragement, which is the primary mission and goal on my heart. I thank you all for rocking with us on this episode, episode 33 for season two, episode 61 overall, and I'm celebrating that. If you want to quit, celebrate the small things too. Celebrate the small things. Celebrate the 61 episodes across not even a year and a half. Y'all, I'm celebrating that, pat on my back, and thank you God, and thank you everybody who continues listening and rocking with us.
Speaker 1:This has been the Pep Talk podcast. Y'all know who it is. This is Coach Jay, life Coach in DFW and one of your biggest fans. But y'all know how we end the podcast Keep it love, keep it light and keep it peppy. Y'all, keep it peppy, stay encouraged, stay motivated and come back next week when we will close out the Choosing, intentional Manhood series. It's going to be great. It's going to be great, but y'all be blessed and peace out. Alright, y'all, it's over. Good job.