Let's Talk Midlife
Let's Talk Midlife
02: How To Overcome The Fear of Starting Over In Midlife
Age is just a number not a limitation
It's never to late to start over!
It's usually your mindset that holds you back with fear of failing and what people think. This should not prevent you from going after that dream or passion you have.
I've been a midlifer for the last 20 years. I've started over countless times and I've been afraid more than I care to admit. Then I figured out how to manage fear.
You have on life to live. Be bold and do you!
In this episode, I share how you can overcome your fear of starting over as well as tips you can use to flourish.
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Connect with host, Natascha Hardee
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Welcome to Let's Talk Midlife. I'm your host, Natasha Harden. This is a show for midlife women who want to learn tips, tools, and strategies for navigating midlife transitions. Have you ever struggled with the fear of starting over? Well, you are in the right place. Press play and let's dive into today's episode. Did you know the fear of starting over in midlife can be daunting? Yes. a rewarding experience. It can be a time of self-reflection and growth, a time to prioritize your goals and create a plan to achieve and upgrade your lifestyle. It requires taking a step back and evaluating your mindset, circumstances, your strengths, weaknesses, and what frightens you, which enables you to discover what you really want out of this stage of life. It can be a time to look for new, make new connections, pursue new interests, and develop new skills. It can be a time to stop putting everyone else first and focus on you by embracing the present moment. Overall, it can be an exciting process of rediscovering, reinventing yourself, and ultimately it can lead to flourishing in your second season of life. Why are midlifers afraid to start over or start something new? I believe it's fear of failure, fear of what other people think, being messy and not getting it right. Midlife is the fact is we are constantly starting over every day, every week, every month, every year. And this comes with ease. And here's why it doesn't bother us because we're used to it. When starting over with something unfamiliar, it makes us nervous, afraid, or ashamed of what other people are going to think. Remember, by the time You are a midlifer. You have knowledge, wisdom, and expertise in a number of areas. Keep in mind, you start over with valuable assets from your life, not deficits. Let's talk about the definition of fear. We're going to break this down. Fear of midlife, right? Fear of starting over. So let's get into the definition of fear. As a noun, fear is... means an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain or threat. As a verb, fear is to be afraid of someone or something as likely to be dangerous, painful, or threatening. Starting over means making a new beginning. And beginning means the point in time or space at which something starts, okay? When you're a beginner, you're a person that's just starting to learn a skill or take part in a unfamiliar activity. Here's a really good one when we talk about shame. The definition of shame means a self-conscious emotion arising from the sense of something that is fundamentally wrong about oneself. And I feel that shame is introduced to us by what people think or say, criticize or judge. And so if you're starting something new or you're starting over, the thought of what other people may think about you or say is what creates that self-conscious emotion that makes you think that something is wrong when it's not true. So you cannot allow what other people think to stop you or to create the fear from you moving forward in what you want to do. And so now that you know starting over means to begin something new, which you do all the time, you start your day over, you start your week over, month, year, whatever, you start over regularly, you can see where we can minimize the fear. I have a few statistics for you here. According to the U.S. Department of Labor, the number of people age 40 and over, that means a midlifer, who are making career transitions has increased significantly in recent years. In particular, a survey conducted in 2019 found that nearly half of all career changes were made by people 40 or over. Additionally, Data from the U.S. Census Bureau showed that more than 2 million people age 40 and over, midlifers, started their own business in 2017 alone. Finally, a study from the Kauffman Foundation revealed that people age 40 and over are twice as likely as young adults to become entrepreneurs. I find that fascinating. How about you? I got some tips for you. Five tips. Five tips in overcoming your fear of starting over. Number one is to acknowledge what you are afraid of. Identify your fear by asking yourself questions. What am I afraid of? And the other question would be, what is the worst thing that could happen? Then allow yourself to feel the fear that comes up when you're exploring the worst case scenario. Feel it, experience it. So you can get it out the way. You'll know what you're afraid of. And so now that you're clear, you can move forward. Number two is get unstuck by taking time to reflect on what you want to accomplish. You can do this by visualization, meditation, or journaling. You can do all of the above if that works best for you. Number three is to create a plan and write out your action steps. When you fail to plan, you can plan to fail. So make sure you have a plan when you're starting over. Number four is use your wisdom, knowledge, and experience you have gained over the years. Number five, do it scared. Just because you do all this planning and preparing does not mean you won't be afraid. You're still going to be afraid because it's unfamiliar to you. So do it scared and make sure you have a support team in place. That's the bonus. Have a support person or people in place help you get through the process of starting over. As a 60-year-old, starting over at this time of life can be daunting, even difficult. I had the same experience starting this podcast. It was scary. It was difficult. And I did it scared. There is a lot of research that suggests that starting over at 60 is becoming increasingly common and can be a positive, rewarding experience. According to a 2018 survey by the Bureau of Labor and Statistics, the employment rate of individuals age 60 and over is at its highest since the early 2000s. Woo-hoo! 60 plusers go head on. You know, they're called sex generians. That survey found that individuals age 60 and above who are employed are likely to stay employed for longer than their younger counterparts with the median length of employment for individuals age 60 and above being 10.3 years. These figures suggest that individuals age 60 and above who are starting over have the potential to make a successful career transition. Now that is phenomenal. Hang in there 60 plus folks. Y'all got it going on. I want to thank everyone who took the time out of their day to listen to today's episode. Let's connect on Instagram and TikTok. I'm at heartylife. That's H-A-R-D-E-E, life, one word. And on LinkedIn, I'm under Natasha Hardy. That's N-A-T-A-S-C-H-A, Hardy, H-A-R-D-E-E. If you are loving this podcast, I'd be so honored if you go ahead and hit that subscribe button and leave me a review, please. Until next time, if nobody's told you that they love you today, let me be the first to tell you, I love you. And there's nothing you can do about it. Go be amazing. You know why? Because you are. Because you are. And don't let nobody tell you anything different.