The Freedom Of Letting Go with Erin Wilkins

Letting go sounds simple until you’re staring at the thing you swore you “needed” to keep. We get real about that moment when caretaking, collecting, or coping crosses the line and starts costing you your peace. From rehoming animals to downsizing daily obligations, we unpack the emotional attachment behind clutter and the quiet fear that says nobody else will do it right, so you have to carry it all.

We also dig into practical self-awareness tools you can use right now: time tracking, journaling, and a brutally honest question to test attachment. If someone took this away, how would you react? That one prompt can reveal addiction substitution, avoidance, and the habits that keep your nervous system stuck in survival mode. We connect the dots between holistic healing and personal agency, including why some people resist change even when the “fix” seems obvious.

Then we go deeper into body-based insight, including muscle testing and the idea that your body responds to thoughts, words, and environment even when your mind tries to rationalize everything away. We close with a perspective that cuts through perfectionism: healing doesn’t always come before love. Sometimes love, done well, is part of what heals you.

If you want a lighter life, a clearer mind, and healthier patterns, press play. Subscribe, share this with a friend who’s carrying too much, and leave a review with the one thing you’re ready to release.

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Welcome And The Theme Of Purging

SPEAKER_00 0:12

Well, hello and welcome to the Healthy Living Podcast. I'm your host, Joe Grumbine, and today we've got back with us a very special guest. We have Aaron Wilkins. Well, Erin, welcome to the show. It's always great to have you back.

SPEAKER_01 0:26

Thank you so much for welcoming me back again.

SPEAKER_00 0:30

Well, last time we sat, we talked about energy, and we were just talking about this Lionsgate portal and all of these things. And we were we were having a little conversation before we got started, and I had asked you, you know, how's things going? You started telling me about

Downsizing An Animal Sanctuary

SPEAKER_00 0:51

your downsizing, removing some things from your life. And I thought, you know, that's a that's a great topic because we go through life collecting things. You know, every day somehow you you gather more things than you let go of, generally speaking. And whether it's energy or stuff or bills or money or whatever it is that you're collecting, you're gaining you. We we usually get more things than we let go of. And sometimes it not only feels good, but it is good for everything involved when you start to purge or let go or or re-home or however you want to call it. What are your thoughts on all that?

SPEAKER_01 1:37

Yeah, absolutely. And I think, yeah, we do. We we gather, we collect. And I mean, in my instance, I was renting an animal, animal sanctuary. And so I think after a while, I just realized I was collecting animals. I was scared for them to be rehomed because I'm like, what if that person doesn't take care of them? What if something bad happens to them? And I realized that in that fear, I was just compiling and I was, it was so much on me. Whereas every morning and every night, I've got, you know, an hour plus of animal duties. And my animals weren't getting enough one-on-one with me, the one, you know, and so I was like, it's time to find new homes. And so it's been extremely hard, but extremely liberating. I just re-homed a whole bunch of animals today, millipedes and a scorpion, and just knowing that they're gonna be loved and taken care of, and yet I have such a lightness knowing that there's one less thing that I have to do.

SPEAKER_00 2:40

Yeah, you know, I I really enjoy our conversations because there are so few people in life that I could have a conversation where millipede, scorpion, and being loved are in the same sentence.

SPEAKER_01 2:58

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 3:01

So you obviously have a pretty wide spectrum of animals. How is it that you find a home for millipedes and a scorpion?

SPEAKER_01 3:11

That was just a Facebook advertisement, and I had three people hit me up probably within 10 minutes. So I had my choice of people.

SPEAKER_00 3:21

Wow. Yeah. Now, when it comes to animals, it's a it's a great example, and it's also analogous in so many ways to other forms of collecting or holding on to. But with animals, I've always used the analogy of you know, feeding straight cats. You can put a bowl of milk out figuratively or you know, literally, and the cats will come figuratively or literally. And you know, when you have a shelter, you're you're creating a space, you're putting out a light, a beacon that says, Hey, I'm here to help those in need. But it's hard sometimes because there are limitations to what we can do, even the you know, the SPCA shelters, the all the you know, the fully funded, staffed, you know, dog shelters and animal shelters, they get full. And they come a spot where like we can't take anymore. Unfortunately, they end up having to do terrible things to keep their numbers down, but it doesn't always have to be that way. I know there's horse shelters, horse rescues, and every kind of animal rescue that you can imagine. But knowing where that line is, you know, it's one thing, like I guess if you have beds or cages or kennels or whatever, you have so many to fill, and when they're filled, they're filled. But when you don't operate that

Finding Homes And Knowing Limits

SPEAKER_00 5:00

way, how is it that you can tell? Like, what was the signal that said, hey, I got too much going on?

SPEAKER_01 5:11

Yeah, I I was I was feeling very overwhelmed and I wasn't loving it like I had. So it wasn't like it felt more like a task than just an enjoyment. And I realized that while very needed, after about three years ago going through a super narcissistic abusive relationship, but that relationship ending that in my healing process, I was bringing in animals because they're not gonna yell at me and they're not gonna be mean to me, and they need me. And so I was able to, I almost created like a a pseudo-spouse with all of these animals. And I think I needed it at the time, um, but now I've got an amazing man in my life that loves me and treats me well, and I don't I don't need those animals any longer. And I realized that it just became a task to take care of them. Um, because now I have a partner, so I didn't need my pseudo millions of animals.

SPEAKER_00 6:15

Right, right. No, that's that's a fantastic point that you made. So a lot of times I think we uh collect things, whether, you know, like I said, whatever it is. Maybe it's maybe it's old cars, maybe it's relationships, maybe it's you know, whatever it is that you find yourself collecting or holding on to sometimes there's a reason behind it that is either something that's missing or something that you have an abundance of, or whatever it is that causes you to maybe substitute, just like you know, the the old Alcoholics Anonymous, you know, you you got these guys that are they're not drinking anymore, but boy, they're smoking and drinking coffee like went out of style. They sub yeah substitute their you know, their their problem one for another one. And it's probably healthier to smoke and drink coffee than to be drunk all the time, but it's certainly not necessarily a good answer, and then you can overdo it. What would you say is a good you know, it's interesting. I just interviewed a guy who's who wrote a book, and he was a quote unquote successful guy, and one day he realized he was totally miserable, and he had something trigger him, a conversation with a friend, a question that was posed that made him say, you know, I hate my life. What is it that you think somebody could do to identify that maybe you're holding on to something or some things, or you know, even it could be just be an idea, you know, you're obsessing over people obsessed over, you know, their social media presence or whatever it is that you're you you're doing too much of. What would you say would be a way that you could kind of check yourself and keep that from becoming more of a problem?

SPEAKER_01 8:30

Yeah, absolutely. Well, look where your time is. Like if you were to, you know, take a time clock, draw out your hours, and put it into like some sort of a graph, how much time are you allocating for these different things? And are you substituting one, you know, one addiction or one drawback

When Collecting Turns Into Coping

SPEAKER_01 8:51

for another, similar to, oh, well, yeah, I don't drink anymore, but I smoke? Well, you're not healing, you're just substituting one for another. So there's that that self-reflection of why am I doing this and asking those questions and being willing to look at the answers of why do I feel like I need this? If if someone were to say, I'm gonna take this away from you, what would your response be? Would you have this violent response of like, no, you can't, I can't live without it? Well, no, you can't live it without food, water, air. But if you were to take your car, what's the hangout? What what's the why is it such an issue? And so getting to that stage of, you know, and I used to do that with my animals. You've got too many. Don't say that. I do not. I'm, you know, and I was very, I was very defensive. And then I started looking at going, like, why? You know, let's let's stop and look at not only my mental health, but the health of these animals. And am I spending an adequate amount of time with them? No, I'm not. I have too many. And so it's taking that back and down. So, you know, where is your time going? And if you were to ever be challenged, if you lost this, what would you do? I mean, those can be some really good indicators to really self-evaluate.

SPEAKER_00 10:10

Absolutely. I think something like journaling can be really important because you can, like you said, if you start tracking your time, like people say, Oh, yeah, that's I really don't do that that much. And then I I that's always like when I consult people or whatever people are asking me about, you know, solving a problem. I generally go to, well, start writing down what you're doing and be honest and track track your time, whether you're figuring out how much sleep you're getting or what you're eating, or how much time you're spending doing any given task. You know, even like your your computer or your phone nowadays will tell you how much screen time you're using as a you know, maybe a wake-up call. Yep. These are all things to kind of give you a visual on where you're at on the map. Maybe that, maybe that's helpful. I know I think it was you that way back years ago when we were talking about you were talking about muscle testing. Yes. Tell us a little bit about that.

SPEAKER_01 11:19

Um, yeah, so a lot of chiropractors and nature pass will do muscle testing where you hold an item by your heart chakra, stick your, you know, your right arm out and they'll push. If you're allergic to whatever that is you're holding, your muscles do go weak. Your muscles also retain a memory of everything you've eaten or been exposed to, as well as the positive and negative energy. So I made some rods that I use in muscle testing that open and shut to the degree of allergy to a food if I'm doing nutrition work, or if it's a positive or negative energy, or if you're just trying to find water, they do water witching too. But yeah, so I I'll use those. I employ them a lot if people are trying to get off of traditional pharmaceuticals and they need me to make them a medication out of herbs to treat anxiety or depression or allergies, and then I'll muscle test them on the oils so I know exactly how much to put in. So it's a very pretty exact, and it the muscle testing will reveal it's personal. So it's not just like, oh, here you've got allergies, take this, but it's this is what your body has said that it needs at this time to support itself. So it's letting the body speak through the rods.

SPEAKER_00 12:35

Yeah, yeah. And that's kind of where I was getting at. It's kind of like it's a direct communication to your body or maybe even your subconscious, your spirit, because like we don't always talk. Like a lot of times people will bury things and they're just not, they don't want to hear about it, they don't want to see it, or you know, they they don't want to acknowledge a certain thing. And sometimes if you were to do that and and ask yourself, is this good for me, or whatever it is that you're doing to get a bearing a little bit more, I think that is possible to be a good little tool.

SPEAKER_01 13:13

Yeah, absolutely. And I've I've used them even when I've showed the power of words and the power of thought that you don't even have

Time Tracking And Journaling For Clarity

SPEAKER_01 13:20

to speak something, but when you're thinking it and you're holding that within your body, what it does, and I'll have, you know, I'll point the rods at their head and I'll say, Hey, think of something positive to you, think of something negative, and the rods will fly open and shut. And so it's a very in-your-face object lesson to see like this is what these words are doing to me. If you're creating this negative energy inside your brain and inside your body all the time.

SPEAKER_00 13:54

Yeah, but it's like I forget the guy's first name, but the the Japanese guy Imoto, who did all the work with water, yep, and water photographed crystals, water being frozen after certain words were said or music was played. And variation of these crystals was so telling that when something was beautiful or positive, the crystals were like what you would visualize a snowflake to be perfect and unique and special. But when negativity was put forth, the the it was actually very dystopian and weird and twisted and dark, and you're like, whoa, and then you think, oh, wait a minute, we're made of water. Yep. Maybe, maybe that's important, you know, to to to focus on good things and and keep your words positive instead of you know complaining and and saying negative things all the time. I I I think it's important. Like we're kind of bouncing around a little bit, but it seems to be a thread that holds all this together. Um we were I was sharing with you a little bit about a medicine that I've sat with called combo, and it's all about a medicine that's derived from a frog. It's actually a poison, a venom that the frog uses to protect himself and keep from being eaten. And if you put it into your body in a particular setting, it'll go through your body and you feel it going around, like literally going from your head, zipping around your head, and then it'll go down your arms and up through your chest and down into your legs, and you're like, you feel this, like almost like a little, I don't know, like a little Pac-Man energy just zipping around, and it'll stop in a certain spot, like where you maybe have a problem, or maybe where an energy is being held up, you know, maybe it's on a chakra or some energy spot that you have, maybe it's a meridian or whatever you call these, you know, these places in your body where things gather, and then afterward, you you throw up or you you you purge yourself in some way, and then after that, your whole mental outlook changes. And the first time I did it, when I I did it, you know, a cycle of three uh

Muscle Testing And Personalized Healing

SPEAKER_00 16:30

sessions, and when I was done, I felt so driven to remove certain things from my life, and this was right at the time I got diagnosed with cancer, so I needed to make some big changes, and I literally I I got rid of my employees, uh got rid of my office and warehouse, moved my business back home, I composted 200 pounds of cannabis or more. I disconnected from 98% of the relationships in my life and cleared a path for amazing things to happen. What's your thoughts on like the negative side of holding on to too many things and then the the converse of that?

SPEAKER_01 18:14

Yeah, it it hurts you. And I I think a good analogy, this is what I try to think of when I feel like I'm grabbing something too tightly. If you were just to take your hand and make a fist and push your nails into your hand and keep squeezing and squeezing, eventually your nails are gonna cut you, they're gonna grow through your hand, you're gonna be injured, and then you lose the loss of that hand. But when we open and just be willing to let go or hold things, let things come and go as they will, there's just a freedom in that, but it also benefits us in that we're not becoming hurt, so it accelerates and helps that healing process.

SPEAKER_00 18:54

Yeah, absolutely. You know, you work with your kind of a unique practitioner or healer or facilitator, whatever you call yourself. I don't know, all you guys have different titles and terms, and I'm not real into that, but you're a person that helps people.

SPEAKER_02 19:12

Yep.

SPEAKER_00 19:13

That's that's kind of the way I break it down. You you have so many different modalities that you work with more than most of the people that I know that help people. How often do you think in some way that holding on to something or things, whether they're physical, spiritual, emotional, whatever, is involved in the source of a problem. And the reason I say that is because you know, we talk about Western medicine, and generally it's very symptomatic and allopathic and linear, and it it says if this, then that, and we're gonna get to stop this problem, maybe cause a bunch more problems, but that's okay. Where a holistic approach is more, well, let's get to the source of the problem and maybe make a change that will cause that problem to not be there anymore. Yeah, and I know that's the way that you approach a problem when you when somebody comes to you. How how often do you think that in some way the cause of the problem has to do with holding on to things?

SPEAKER_01 20:33

Usually most of it is.

SPEAKER_00 20:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 20:36

You know, especially with like the adults that you know, that I a lot of times with kids, they're just having a reaction to something going on around them or that their parents are doing. But yeah, with adults, it it usually is, and it's also very hard for them to let things go. And, you know, healing never really happens. I mean, I've had I even had one guy that came to me for weight loss, and I said, Well, we got to get, you know, you got to be eating right because weight loss is a definitely holding on to some stuff. Yeah, literally. But he wasn't willing to let go of things, and so he called me after one week, said, Well, I lost nine pounds. And I said, Well, there you go. You're eating better, so you're losing weight as a byproduct. And he's like, I can't do it anymore. I need my fried pig. And I'm like, Okay, well, there you go. But he wasn't willing to let that go

Thoughts Words And Water Memory

SPEAKER_01 21:27

for the the ultimate, which was I'm feeling better and I'm losing weight. And people I find are they don't like change, they don't like considering things that are maybe outside the box from what they've been taught. And it's almost like this imprint on their brain where they do, they struggle to let go. Most of the people that are the worst clients that I've had that aren't willing to let go and be healed are all in the medical field.

SPEAKER_00 21:57

Really?

SPEAKER_01 21:58

And they've been programmed and you know, like, oh yeah, I take five allergy pills, I've got all these allergies. I'm like, well, don't you think it would be best to eat good and support your immune system? Oh, no, no, that's too hard. So I just take all these pills. I'm like, but you're making yourself sick.

SPEAKER_00 22:15

So you're so right. My dad, when he was alive, was like that. He had a medicine cabinet. I was like, what the hell, dad? You know, and and he ended up dying a very early age, and it was so preventable. And all those things, you know, these habits and things like that could have easily prevented it.

SPEAKER_01 22:37

Yep, absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 22:39

So when obviously it comes down to choices and and what's important, and I guess that's what makes kind of going to uh Western medicine so easy, because they just kind of say, well, do this and then that's it. Can follow your doctor's orders and do what they say, and if it doesn't work out, well, it's the doctor's fault, you know, it's never gonna be your fault. You don't a lot of people don't take agency and and kind of own their own choices that way. But would you say I mean I I I suspect that everybody is probably holding on to something that they too much, you know, maybe maybe there's a healthy amount of something that we hold on to, and we feel better when we do it, so we start doing it more and more, and eventually it crosses that line from being a good thing for you to maybe being a little too much. And I talk about this a lot on the on the podcast in that anything in excess can be unhealthy, even water, even oxygen, you can get too much, and at one point you can have a toxicity to it. So would you say that there's a way or a practice or a tool or something that people could try or execute or use to help them first know if maybe there's something that you're hanging on to too much, or to help to say, well, oh that's too much, I'm gonna I'm gonna let it go. And one of the tools that I use is I call it the big scale. And I I when I'm being honest with myself about you know whatever it is, or even just in general living, and I take the time to do it, it's just like a mindfulness exercise of, you know, what are you doing right now, and

Kambo Purge And Big Life Changes

SPEAKER_00 24:57

being aware of that and acknowledging it, taking an action or an activity or whatever it is, a thing, and putting it on the scale and saying, is this helping me get towards my goals? Is this helping me be happier? Whatever it is I'm trying to do or not, and there isn't any middle ground, it's either helping you or it's hurting you. Um and if you're honest about that, that generally will answer all your questions for you, not for anybody else, but for you, because your goals and your actions are unique. Can you think of another tool or a way that people could help themselves to first avoid the problem as much as possible, or second help to correct the problem if if if you already have it?

SPEAKER_01 25:51

Yeah, I mean, I think sitting back and being honest is the first step. We we tend to not like to just sit with ourselves and look in a mirror and feel like, oh my gosh, I'm gonna see something that's ugly and awful. And so we tend to really try to coat that.

SPEAKER_00 26:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 26:08

But yeah, the scale's good, or you know, just drawing out if this was to be taken from me, would I be okay? And monitor your response. I know that, you know, for a while I was even coming back from work every day and having a glass of wine. Well, you know, my rationale was it's fine, it's one glass, I'm not getting drunk. Yeah, um, you know, I need it, and then I started being like, well, I need it, I deserve it. And then it's like, but why? You know, because yeah, red wine is good for you, but is it good every single day? No, it's not.

SPEAKER_00 26:46

Right.

SPEAKER_01 26:47

And I realized that I was more importantly, the why.

SPEAKER_00 26:50

Like, why am I taking it taking it for my health, or am I taking it because it helps me feel better and not deal with something I want to do, I don't want to deal with?

SPEAKER_01 27:00

Absolutely. And I think that's where it was going with me was like, oh, back home from work now, and so I just don't want to think about anything. So I'm gonna relax. I'm like, but why do I need that wine to relax? I should be able to just relax on my own. And so being able to be like, I don't like my why anymore, and so I'm gonna take that away.

SPEAKER_00 27:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 27:22

And you know, and then as I took it away, I was like, I don't like this, I want this, I deserve it. And then it's like, okay, then I've made the right decision.

SPEAKER_00 27:31

Right, exactly. Yeah, one of my markers in life is if it's difficult and I don't really want to do it, it's probably the thing I need to do.

SPEAKER_01 27:41

Absolutely, yep.

SPEAKER_00 27:42

And I don't know why we're programmed that way, but we we tend to kick and scream away from the thing that's most important that we spend our time with. Well, Aaron, uh it brings me great joy to hear that you've got a fulfilling relationship, and I I can foresee a lot of happiness and joy in your future as a result. I hope that it grows and gets better and better. Do you have a thought that you'd like to leave our listeners with today?

SPEAKER_01 28:17

I think we talked a little bit about something that's been very much on my heart lately is that you know, we always feel like to get involved

The Scale Test And Daily Letting Go

SPEAKER_01 28:27

in a relationship, we need to be healed 100%. And I found that when we go into a relationship with true love of each other and wanting the best for that other person, that in itself does the healing. And so you're healed through the love, not the other way around. Like I'm gonna love myself until I heal and then I can have a relationship. And you know, if there's anyone that's struggling with like I have to be healed first, realize that when you do find that love in whatever form, that's what does the healing.

SPEAKER_00 29:02

I love that. Love is the answer.

SPEAKER_01 29:05

Love is the answer, absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 29:07

That's beautiful. Well, I like I I really love that. And I I think that you know, the the perfection of humanity is our imperfection. And I think if we can embrace that and and keep our focus on doing better and and keeping our our hearts in that love, I think you stay on that on that path. So it's always a treat having a conversation with you. I I'm very happy to hear about your progress and where you're going, and looking forward to continuing.

SPEAKER_01 29:45

Sounds good. Thank you.

SPEAKER_00 29:47

Beautiful. Well, this has been another episode of the Healthy Living Podcast. I'm your host, Joe Grumba. I want to thank all of our listeners for making this show possible, and we will see you next time.