#112: Find Out What Motivates People with This Simple Phrase

Have you ever been in a situation where you're trying to convince someone of something, and no matter what you say, it just doesn't work? If only there were one thing you could say one phrase you could utter, that would be simple, elegant and effective.

Well, it turns out there is one phrase, you already know it. And it's probably one that's been used on you. And I'm going to share it with you today.

In today's show, I continue looking at the Phil M. Jones book, "Exactly What To Say: The Magic Words for Influence and Impact. This is my third episode exploring this book.  Last week in episode number 105, I looked at how we can use the phrase, "What do you know about..." as a way to open up the other person to considering another point of view.

Today's set of magic words? "How would you feel if?"

I explore how you can use this phrase to explore what motivates people by asking them to imagine a future scenario in which their actions play out.

As you can tell, I love Phil M. Jones' book, as there is so much actionable information that's easy to use in a wide variety of contexts.

As always, thanks for listening!

All episodes in the series
#091 - "I'm not sure if it's for you but"
#098 - "How open minded are you?"
#105 - "What do you know?"
#112 - "How would you feel if"
#119 - "Just imagine"

"Exactly What To Say" by Phil M. Jones on Amazon
https://a.co/d/9MKpt40

You can find me here:

WEBSITE:  https://www.thorchallgren.com
IG: https://www.instagram.com/thorchallgren

You can find me here:

WEBSITE: https://www.thorchallgren.com
IG: https://www.instagram.com/thorchallgren

Transcript

Have you ever been in a situation where you're trying to convince someone of something, and no matter what you say, it just doesn't work? If only there were one thing you could say one simple phrase you could utter, that would be simple, elegant and effective. Well, it turns out there is one phrase, you already know it. And it's probably one that's been used on you. And I'm going to share it with you today. 

Welcome to Every Day A New Thought. I'm Thor Challgren. Today, I'm looking at the Phil M. Jones book, "Exactly What To Say: The Magic Words for Influence and Impact. This is my third episode exploring this book.  Last week in episode number 105, I looked at how we can use the phrase, "What do you know about..." as a way to open up the other person to considering another point of view.

Today's set of magic words? "How would you feel if?"

In his book, Jones talks about the main value of this phrase, and he says it's this: when you're trying to convince someone of something, you're looking for a reason for them to move forward or reason for them to do something? As he says, and I'm quoting here, "Would it be fair to say that, if the reason were big enough, you could get just about anybody to do just about anything?" 

So what he's talking about is finding the motivation for that person, and how do you motivate them? You get them to think for themselves of what the outcome would be like if they do or don't do something. So you need to find big reasons and the phrase, how would you feel if is one you can use to start that process? 

Basically, you're asking for people to imagine the scenario in the future. And by putting them in that position, you're getting them to feel what that outcome looks like. 

As Jones says the outcome can either be positive or negative. So here are a couple examples, you might say, How would you feel if this decision led to your promotion? So you can see that's a positive scenario, that's a gain for that person. Another example? How would you feel if you failed? Because you didn't prepare? So that gets them to imagine a fear of loss? Something they don't want? Another example? How would you feel if you turned this around? Again, positive, you're imagining you're getting them to imagine what possible success looks like? And the last one, how would you feel if you lost everything? Again, obviously, fear of loss, right?

So you can see what you're doing is you're getting them to imagine either a positive outcome or a negative outcome. But by putting them in that position, you get them to feel what it's like, so that they're really getting leveraged, they're getting motivation on themselves. 

So the key points in this for me, get people excited, give them a reason to move a reason to take action. The second, the bigger the contrast, the more likely they are to take action. 

So think about one area in your life where you might be able to use the phrase, how would you feel if maybe if it's in your business, maybe in a sales pitch, think about your product, your service, whatever you provide, and think of a way that you can position that as either something that benefits the person or something that takes away pain for them. So think about how you could use the phrase, how would you feel if... 

That's my episode for today, if you liked the show, please hit like if you're watching on YouTube. If you're listening to the podcast, please subscribe or follow the show on your favorite podcast app. Until tomorrow. Thanks for listening.