Listen or Don't Podcast
A mostly weekly podcast featuring raw, uncut and unfiltered conversations between 2 midlife girlfriends sharing their life experiences. Listen or Don't, either way, we'll be fine.
Listen or Don't Podcast
22: Cleanliness Chronicles
Ever wished you could bottle up the serenity of a vacation and bring it into your everyday life? We're unpacking our recent beach retreat in this enlightening episode. We share our love for the luxury of comfortable silence, the relaxation of daily massages, and the unexpected disruptions that punctuated our peaceful escape.
The conversation takes a deeper turn as we broach the subject of capitalism's role in shaping our habits and the steps we can take to safeguard ourselves from its influence.
Lastly, we get personal and bare our thoughts on cleanliness standards. Reliving our childhood Saturday mornings, we examine the chores that have shaped our relationship with cleanliness. We also delve into the impact our spaces have on our perspectives about cleanliness. Along the way, there's a bonus chat about the importance of body work and daily massages and a funny tale about a conversation that spiraled into a 15-minute organization task. Tune in, and let's embark on this journey of reflection and revelation together.
Thanks friends for being part of the conversation. We hope you had a good time, if so, please leave us a review and share us with your friends.
This podcast is sponsored by Jill Dahler Coaching, here to guide you to discover and recover your authentic self. If you're ready to create and live a "Fuck Yeah" life, I'm here for you. Let's connect at jilldahler.com.
Until next time!
Hello, hello Motherfucker.
Speaker 2:I can't see you. Oh, there you are Now. I can hear you and see you, you know Hi. Hi what was it going today?
Speaker 1:I connect my earphones here, which often don't like to be connected. Why? Why? We turn off my Bluetooth here. That always seems to make a little bit of a difference when I turn it off on my phone. This is so weird, so weird.
Speaker 2:Motherfuck. Oh wait, oh, maybe, maybe, maybe.
Speaker 1:Maybe it says it's connected Now it should be there you are. Yeah, hey girl, hey girl.
Speaker 2:How was your few days back from vacation?
Speaker 1:Oh man, good I had a you know jump right back into work on Thursday and Friday. Nothing really seemed to stress me out, which was good. I think mostly because of the daily massage why we were there.
Speaker 2:I was wondering if it was something that was unnecessary to have a daily massage but it is not, it is. I feel like it's now required in life. Yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I don't know why I ever thought there was a such thing as too much body work like daily. And then I heard some podcasts I don't know if it was maybe hot box and with Mike Tyson, which is a fantastic podcast. If you haven't listened to it. He just does interviews with celebrities and athletes and musicians. Like it's so random in some of the best interviews I've heard, or from people that you know whose music maybe I don't even like or whatever, but they've been so interesting. And one, I don't know why, I want to say Chris Paul, but I can't exactly remember. So there was this one who is a staff member from Barringer Hospital, who was just a job player, who was talking about how he would do, you know, his, basically his daily schedule for practice. So he'd wake up, he'd do a workout for three hours, then go to practice, then go to lunch, then go back to practice and then have like three hours worth of body work and a massage and this and that. That I'm like, jesus Christ. How is that even possible to maintain?
Speaker 2:I mean I get why Chris Paul if this is who the person was in the interview would have three hours because his job in his life is all about working out and playing basketball. Yeah, exactly, I mean, if he gets three hours, I feel like the average person should at least have 50 minutes Come on, beyonce can do it Shit, and I believe. I don't know if that's true and I believe the thing that you had said last was that you were in for an elevated experience because you're worse. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it was the highest point of my vacation relaxation career. I would say that was an excellent, excellent trip. I am so sorry my snoring disrupted your piece every day. We will get you know separate rooms next time, it's totally fine. The food was amazing, I think just like and we were talking about this like being alone together, like being on the beach taking naps. You're reading, don't have to talk, we want to, we do. It was. You're just such an easy vacation partner. I'd go anywhere with you.
Speaker 2:Well, thanks, thanks. I'm glad you enjoyed it, because I also enjoyed it, because I did. I agree, we had this conversation right before we left the beach on Wednesday was just that whole concept of we are so comfortable in each other's company that we can have that silence, and that's like that seems like that's the gold sometimes is just to know that you've got that other person with you and it's just like oh, but I don't have to say anything, I don't have to fill the void with anything or make sure she's doing okay.
Speaker 1:Yeah, check it in. Yeah, yeah yeah. There was only the moment I checked in with you when I was paying too much attention to you and not having my own experience, and I think it was the people that were next to us that were causing all the the shit. Or the Spotify guy? Oh well, that really wasn't even anything.
Speaker 2:I don't know why I was I know I don't know why I wasn't a tizzy about that, but I was just really fine. You know why? Because I think I was just really enjoying our last sort of like full day there and we were on the beach until like what seven o'clock I think and just like great Taking it in. Yeah yeah, it was just great. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I feel like just because nobody else, we kept ourselves away from all of the noise. Like you stated that we were down at the quiet pool. If we were doing anything at the pool, there wasn't really anybody on the beach. So we were having a quiet experience and I think they just kind of came in and they were having their good time.
Speaker 2:But it was unbeknownst to them, it was interrupting our good time, and so I think I was just annoyed at the fact that, hey, I'm cool if you've got music, but then enjoy the music and don't fucking have commercials on your Spotify. What does Spotify cost $5 a month? I don't know, like it's, maybe $50 a year, oh God.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that was funny. I'm annoyed with that and I think just because.
Speaker 2:I'm, overall, in general, annoyed with commercials. Like I get annoyed when Jeff watches regular television and there's we're sitting through commercials. I'm just like, really, oh, it's awful. I'm so annoyed by commercials Even on the radio. This is why I listen to the current, because there's never commercials. And if there's a DJ on the current that I don't like and I have to switch over to like a different radio station as soon as the commercial comes on, I'm clicking to something else. And because, also, generally, the commercials are all about like people that are trying to sell you some sort of weight loss thing, and there's this one thing about like fat bobs or something, and I'm like, well, this is just what, what? That's full? Yeah, it's like blatant, outright, like you don't have to be chubby anymore, dude. And I'm just like, what the fuck is this Like? This is, my God, commercial, yeah. So I think that's the reason I just get so fucking annoyed with commercials.
Speaker 1:It interrupts the flow.
Speaker 2:And this is what these people were doing they were interrupting my flow. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, I didn't really care for the karaoke style mix that they had going on, and you know I'm a music snob, so there's that. I never, I didn't know Well, so I don't have cable, you know. I do have multiple streaming services and you know there will be ads that come up. But I think commercials commercials for some reason feel like I am tuned in to what the rest of the world sees, for some reason.
Speaker 1:Yes, I don't know if that makes any sense, but like I was like, if I'm watching cable or like television at someone's place, or you know whatever, or when there is like in the ad that looks like it's advertising a new show, even on like a streaming service, it kind of catches my attention because I feel like, oh, this is what people are, this is what, you know, people are tuned into, or this is what's happening and I don't know pop culture, or this is what people are buying, or sure, oh, it just it feels like. It feels like I'm part of the crowd of people that get that information, which is so fucked up.
Speaker 2:Yeah, because I don't know if I'm reading you the right way on this, but to me it feels like propaganda of shit that you want me to believe and that you want me to buy and that you want to be a part of.
Speaker 1:I don't want to be a part of your bullshit.
Speaker 2:Yeah. I don't want to be a part of your fat phobia shaming of people. I don't want to be a part of. You know all of the politics of swinging me right way and telling me these people are bad or those people are bad. You can't trust these people. You can't trust those people. Like I don't want to be a part of it. So I think for me, like any sort of commercial does that and it just roses me out.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I guess I'm really I don't know why I think of it that way, I guess I just do. But the other thing, commercials I think they bring back a little bit of nostalgia when I was a kid. On Saturdays, there are certain moments on weekends like certain parts of my childhood. I remember that really felt like the picturesque, like sort of childhood that anyone who grew up, you know, was born in the 80s and sort of grew up in the late 80s, early 90s, may have or describe, and that is waking up on Saturdays For me going to add a math tutor for maybe like a year. I think I want to say it was like sixth or seventh grade, probably more like sixth fractions were being introduced and I needed them fractions, decimals and long division Like I just could not wrap my brain around. And my mom got me a tutor and I remember going to her place and we always used to pass a Mr Donut which was like the best donut place. It was small, not a chain.
Speaker 2:Oh.
Speaker 1:Mr Donut was delicious cake donuts, so we always go there we do the thing.
Speaker 1:You know she'd sit in her car or whatever for 45 minutes and then come out, we drive to Mr Donut, pick up a couple of donuts and I get home right at 10 and time for save by the bell, nice Watch, save by the bell, and then the rest of the day on that Saturday. I can't really tell you what I did. Maybe played outside, definitely practice, but I just I like that. And I guess, when I'm saying in the midst of all that commercials that were come on like the fun commercials.
Speaker 1:They were toys and they were oh yeah tunes and clothing like I was really fascinated by. I guess I was caught up in the capitalism is really what it boils down to. I want everything I saw, I want to you know.
Speaker 2:I don't disagree with that because it hasn't changed. It's still the capitalism and still trying to get people to want everything that they're seeing oh yeah, right, and provoke mom, dad, whoever, to buy this thing. My Saturdays are very different, okay, so my Saturdays included waking up early. I always woke up at like six o'clock and I had a couple of hours where I'd get to watch cartoons and I'd want to watch more cartoons because the Smurfs would come on at nine. I'd get to watch cartoons at 10. Oh God, jeff's gonna know what the schedule is. I don't remember what came on at 10, but I always wanted to watch the Smurfs. And then it had religion class at nine o'clock. That went until 11 o'clock.
Speaker 1:Damn.
Speaker 2:And then when I came home, I had to clean for a few hours, because on Saturdays we would clean for like six hours. Jesus and you'd clean everything. Like we would wipe out all the garbage cans, we'd mop the garage floor like we cleaned. And now, mind you, we cleaned every day of the week, as well. But like Saturday was the good cleaning day, yeah, so Saturdays were not that nostalgic for me.
Speaker 1:Yeah, no, I mean, I had my responsibility of cleaning my room and I also had like dish duty, but I didn't ever have to go. Well, I think the thing is my mom knew I was never going to go that deep. So my great grandmother because I lived most of my life with my great grandmother and my mom they were like buckets, mops on hands on floors. You, know that kind of you know, getting after it and I was just responsible for keeping my room together. Oh, but that's yeah, that's the easy life.
Speaker 2:You have the easy life, you weren't. You weren't raking your carpets, no, you didn't want to see the lines from the vacuum cleaner or have you forbid somebody go into that room after it's been cleaned and put footprints.
Speaker 1:Oh wow, A carpet. No, no, that was that. Yeah, I got lucky with that, because my mom is an absolute nut job when it comes to cleaning Sure Part of it. I think it is that she knew I was never going to do it as good as she could.
Speaker 2:Oh, correct it was. I mean this is this is this is part of worthy I'm not good enough comes from. I mean that was since I was never going to dust well enough. I'm actually quite surprised I'm not more neurotic than I actually am. Like there is a, there's a window when I could have gone way worse. I could definitely be much more than.
Speaker 1:I am. I got really dizzy when you said that.
Speaker 2:About me being more neurotic or were you like? You're both the right amount.
Speaker 1:Like the wind just kind of flew out of my body. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, oh God. So you're not neurotic, but you do have a standard and I used to tell you that whenever you would come over, it would make me nervous to the same extent it made my mom. Like it would make me nervous, my mom would come over which always made me feel bad.
Speaker 2:I'm sorry, I know, I know.
Speaker 1:I totally did and I don't. I don't think I recognize that I was making you feel bad by me projecting my own shit on you relative to my insecurity with you know, keeping house.
Speaker 2:Sure.
Speaker 1:And you know there are certain things that do feel good. I think from you and my mom I learned the value of a clean sink. Sure, like it does feel good to clean my sink. It feels great when there aren't any crumbs in my stove. It feels great when, like you know, the sheets are fresh and you know the like it just like being like the level of cleanliness that you and my mom both will put in effort to do is something I can only aspire to. I just don't want to do it.
Speaker 2:No, and I mean, there's an. I don't ever go into a place expecting it to look like my place. And now, granted, my place is not even as clean as what my mother's place was. Right, Because, there was no dust and I mean I'm OK with some dog hair, I'm OK with some dust, I just once a week. I don't dust every day. I like my floors clean, I have dogs, right. So I like to have like things vacuumed and I don't like when I can smell like the dogs.
Speaker 2:If I haven't vacuumed for a few days. I start to have that smell and that just kind of makes me crazy. But I also don't walk into somebody else's house with that expectation and turn my nose up and be like you know, yeah, yeah yeah, I'm not going to do that. I mean it's just not my deal, like, because I get that this is not everyone's jam and there's just a level that I enjoy for myself personally because I like to be, I'm in my space the most.
Speaker 2:So, in somebody else's space. This is your deal.
Speaker 1:Right, yeah, but like there are certain like home.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but there are certain places that I will not go. I'm not going to go into a port-a-potty either, you know no.
Speaker 1:Hey, you know how I feel about that, you know how. I will hold it until I absolutely burst and give myself a bladder infection before I step into a port-a-potty. I can't do it. I don't want to puke and I don't like the feeling like I'm going to gag. It always makes me cry, and I don't want to cry in a port-a-potty.
Speaker 2:No, no, no, I don't do anywhere, but not there. No, Not there.
Speaker 1:No, no, I do appreciate, though what like I can. I admire, I think, people who put a lot of effort into keeping their home as comfortable as they need it, but not just that, but keeping their home really clean. It's, yeah, like I want to go to clean plate. That was the thing about this resort we went to. It was spotless like. The bathroom was really clean. I never felt like I was stepping on anything. You're the whole place well dusted there, yeah, well kept, like it's a. It made me feel like it's a. It was a luxury experience, and I love feeling like I have a luxury experience in my home. It just it. You know, I live alone, so I don't feel like I need which is a good thing for me in that I don't feel this anxiety of kind of keeping my space a certain way with with someone else who may not right the same level, right well, who definitely don't have the same level of cleanliness that I have, and I felt a true, a lot of resentment, I guess you could say, towards yeah, it's difficult.
Speaker 1:Yeah, domesticated person that you've paired the burden of all of the fucking cleaning and laundry and yeah, clean your shit stains on a toilet like you can do it. You know it's just yeah.
Speaker 2:No, and it's funny that you say that Jeff and I are very similar in the things that we like, right, like, I think I'm a little bit more clean than he is but he's definitely organized in. Everything needs to be efficient Like it was.
Speaker 1:Friday night.
Speaker 2:I think, yeah, because I was going to bed early just because I was, you know, crashing from the week and so I wanted to go to bed early and I was getting ready to shut everything down and it was like eight o'clock or something. I was like, are we really going to bed this early? I'm like, dude, you totally don't have to go to bed with me, like I will by myself. And he's just like, oh, I just want to live with you. And I'm like I get it. I'm like, well, true, I'm like so are you feeling? He's? I'm like, so what sparked this? He's like it's just inefficient. So he takes up one of the drawers and he starts moving around the shelves and refrigerator. And I'm you know. Then we start having this 1015 minute conversation about, like moving things around the refrigerator. Where do we want the dog food? Maybe, if we raise this crisper, that we can put the eggs underneath there. And I'm like, oh, yeah, I like this. This works out really nice. And so now, this is really great.
Speaker 1:There's no way I would organize a crisper or put my ass to bed. He's going to love the fact that we're talking about him right now.
Speaker 1:That's a great feedback. My friend, a very good friend of mine, we were texting each other and I can't remember how it came out. Maybe she was asking me what my plans were with the weekend and I said recording. She's like recording, what's that? Oh, podcast? She's like wait, what, what do you mean? I was like, yeah, my friend Jill and I do, I agree, fucking kidding me, like you were just not going to say anything about it. So I ended up sending her a link to the podcast and she sent a really, really sweet text.
Speaker 1:The next day she went on a walk and listen to, I think, the last episode and said she couldn't stop smiling. She feels like she's part of the conversation and it was so f-ing good and I was so one relieved and two, it made me happy that she felt like she was just part of the conversation because I told him like there's no like topic, you know there's no, you know we don't come in with, I think, like a mutual intention of what it is that we're going to talk about. We started to do that, but it just, you know, it's not organic and I think that was the intention is to stay organic.
Speaker 2:And it's not our style.
Speaker 1:Oh, it's not, they're gonna feel sparse and it's like a job and all of that.
Speaker 2:Well, in thanks to your friend, because that's fantastic feedback, and I love that, because I think that that's when you and I were talking about doing this, or, more likely, when I, you know, persuaded you into doing this between your arm. It was that whole thing like I just wanted people to be a part of our conversations, because you and I have really great fun. Conversations like that take all sorts of twists and turns, and so that was a big part of it, but I feel like it's also like exactly what happened when we went on vacation, so we booked all of the nights where we're going to go to the restaurants and get all you know dressed up and do the thing.
Speaker 2:Then it's just like all of a sudden I'm like, well, I'm just canceling every fucking one of these because I want to go to the buffet. I don't really want to get dressed up Like I just want to do, absolutely don't want to worry about it. Maybe I just want to get room service.
Speaker 1:Yeah, which was great, because it was really good.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it was a good tour.
Speaker 1:I'm definitely going back, definitely definitely going back. I'm really focused on the whole day at a time. I like that approach with everything too. Like Sundays used to be like meal prep days, you know, and I probably worry or think about what I was going to eat for the rest of the week, all weekend. Yeah, and like, my intention was to shop and get it on all that.
Speaker 1:And I really, since working with this nutrition specialist, you know, and other other things, but mainly this nutrition specialist remind me how I can take the approach of one day at a time, even in meal prep. So, yeah, the questions would be what are you eating for breakfast, what are you going to have for lunch and do you have anything ready to go for dinner? And I can do that in you know 30 minutes, I can. I know what I'm going to eat for breakfast. It's usually the same thing.
Speaker 2:Oh, yeah, it doesn't change much.
Speaker 1:Nope, same thing. Couple boiled eggs and then whatever I eat, you know tonight for dinner will become lunch and maybe even dinner tomorrow. That's it, I don't have to freak out about so, thinking about that, really enjoying going to the gym first thing in the morning.
Speaker 2:I went and.
Speaker 1:I worked out this afternoon and there are a lot of key boys in this gym which I'm super excited about.
Speaker 2:Oh dude, yesterday this guy like I got busted. No, we went to a friend's house that lives down by the Guthrie, so I took our old path, which was all along the river road, so many people yesterday, because it was gorgeous in Minnesota. And so I'm at a stop sign and I'm supposed to be taking a right and all of a sudden this dude comes running by, no shirt on, he's got his hat down low, he's wearing headphones and shorts and I'm just like I just like stopped and I'm like, and I'm like looking out the window at him and he looks at me and I'm like, oh God, hey, I wouldn't say sorry.
Speaker 2:And Jeff's like, are you all right over there? And I'm like, is that a stop for a second? Or?
Speaker 1:Yeah, I love the summer. It's great. It is great and yeah, that's yeah, I feel good, I feel I have no, yeah, no complaints, no concerns. I feel inspired, I feel well rested. I've been watching the bear. Yeah, yeah, I realized the reason why I was put in an office because I don't want it to end, so I just don't watch it, you know yeah so good, tough deal.
Speaker 1:I love Kami Jesus, that short king motherfucker. I love that man so much. He just has like he's got you know he's got major BDE, he's got that I don't know, like the big puppy dog eyes and sure you know the slopey nose and sure and he looks. This all sounds horrible.
Speaker 2:It's like but I mean, he's got a presence to him, there's a type, and definitely we're talking about this. Actually, the other day we were talking about this the other day too, because we were just talking about, like, short guys, the energy that gets put off. And we're talking about, you know, a few of our friends that were shorter and he's just like, yeah, I don't even notice that on them and I'm like, yeah, that's because that's not how they lead. They have a different energy about them.
Speaker 2:Whereas some guys are just like well, yeah, he's only like five, five, because that's how he presents himself. Yeah, yes, your energy that he puts out and, like I said, the Jeff I go. I don't feel like I present myself as a five, three person. No, you do Like I present myself as I'm at least five eight, five nine 100%.
Speaker 1:You take the air out of a room, for sure, and I don't mean that in a bad way.
Speaker 2:I mean like it's automatically.
Speaker 1:You know your presence is very much felt and that's a really beautiful thing. Like it's you, I'm like making this gesture of like shoulders back and like upward energy sort of up. That's what it feels like. Jeff, of course, does that, but he also is like seven foot eight and I know he's not, but that's just the kind of energy that he brings into a room when he steps in. Yeah, carmi, definitely has like quiet, yet, like I see you, you can't stay in that corner by yourself. Love him, love the show. It's so Chicago Like the. I love Chicago Like the.
Speaker 1:I love seeing all the restaurants and beauty of the architecture and the layout of the city and I can feel the cold when they're. You know some of the winter scenes and smell it. I love all the tension. It's not quite sexual tension.
Speaker 2:You know right.
Speaker 1:It's just tension, like it's it's. Yeah, I love the way that it's a beautifully written show. It really is great. It's inspiring.
Speaker 2:It's inspiring to watch other people be inspired, you know, but what's their surroundings? And it's their, the creativity. I think that's the piece that is super inspiring is how their creative mind works and how that is being portrayed in each of these episodes. I think is really fascinating. Have you met the mom yet? Which mom? Carmi's mom? No, okay.
Speaker 1:Oh, I'm excited.
Speaker 2:I'm not going to spoil this for you, because it is a phenomenal performance. Okay, someone who has been in the field for a long time. Oh, I'm excited she does it well. Okay, does it really fucking well? And we were talking about this, I think, a couple episodes ago about like women who are in their fifties and sixties and probably don't really have much. She's one of these women. It's fun to see her back on the screen and it's a spectacular performance yeah.
Speaker 1:Oh yay.
Speaker 2:All right. Well, it's good seeing your face.
Speaker 1:You too, I love you, I love you too.
Speaker 2:Well, of course, it's our annual trip, for sure.
Speaker 1:I'm going to need another one next weekend.
Speaker 2:I can feel it next weekend, I mean, you know, I'm going to need something real soon.
Speaker 1:I did book my same Diego you know winter getaway this weekend. But yeah, I'm going to need something before January of next year, oh God yeah, don't be a savage. I know right, I love my life, All right.
Speaker 2:I love your life too. All right, until next time. My friends Love you Bye.
