Listen or Don't Podcast
A mostly weekly podcast featuring raw, uncut and unfiltered conversations between 2 midlife girlfriends sharing their life experiences. Listen or Don't, either way, we'll be fine.
Listen or Don't Podcast
31: Hey Girl, I missed you!
Ever wondered how a personalized skincare routine could be a game-changer for your overall well-being? Get ready to embark on a journey of self-discovery and self-care with us as we reveal our experiences and learnings from a French facialist and a friend who's a wizard with unique massage techniques. We'll delve into the holistic approach of our facialist, who taught us the importance of hydration and the miracles it can do for our skin. Nothing short of remarkable, we guarantee you'll learn a thing or two from our friend's massages that beautifully blend elements of kinesiology and chiropractic.
In the fast-paced world we live in, isn't it essential to be aware of our body and its needs? As we age, we've found practices like massage, acupuncture, and yoga to enhance our body consciousness, a topic we're excited to share with you. We also uncover the revelations from the books "The Body Keeps the Score" and "Metaphysical Anatomy," exploring the fascinating connection between our physical and emotional health. As we wrap up, we'll dive into healing methods like acupuncture and EMDR therapy, discuss the role of self-awareness and sobriety in our personal growth, and appreciate the value of body workers. We'll also lighten the mood with a fun chat on experimenting with new recipes - heads up for a delicious potato leek soup recipe!
Thanks friends for being part of the conversation. We hope you had a good time, if so, please leave us a review and share us with your friends.
This podcast is sponsored by Jill Dahler Coaching, here to guide you to discover and recover your authentic self. If you're ready to create and live a "Fuck Yeah" life, I'm here for you. Let's connect at jilldahler.com.
Until next time!
Yo, yo yo. What are you pouring?
Speaker 2:I do.
Speaker 1:I, what are you?
Speaker 2:pouring. Oh, I have made Hmm Interesting.
Speaker 1:Make a mocktail.
Speaker 2:I did. It's ginger sparkling water, mm, hmm, uh, a splash of Martinelli's orange juice, oh, mm, hmm and um, bitters, and so does by hella bitters. It's like a bitter spritz, yeah, um, and some ice, and it's delicious, oh so my friend um Jenny about it. I'm, yeah, I'm trying to stay as hydrated as possible. Yeah, one, because I'm always dry. Um, it's winter and then. I am recognizing like the dark circles under my eyes are directly related to the lack of hydration.
Speaker 1:Sure yeah, oh yeah, I did not know that.
Speaker 2:Oh my God, yeah Uh. Facialist lady, who I hate calling a facials, because she's much more than that she's sounds like it. Yeah, um, can tell right away. She can tell if I have eight spicy foods with, I'm eating more dairy than I use, that I need to or should be at all, and how hydrated I am, just by like shine that fucking light on my face and being like go to her. Oh God, it's, it's like awful because you're there's no hiding again.
Speaker 1:No, Exactly she's. You're fully exposed. You walk in and she's just like yeah, got the whole list.
Speaker 2:Oh, you eat those spicy foods. This is my French accent. You eat those spicy food. Oh, you see, you're not drinking any water, you some dairy, that's okay. I keep coming to me, I take your money. You don't listen, it's okay. Yeah, just can shades me the whole time.
Speaker 1:But she's got a French accent, so it's super cute. It's so cute.
Speaker 2:So cute and she's totally like just yeah, fucking with me the whole time Like it's fine, oh God, oh, we got just some extractions and then you know, proceed, stuff, just get in there with the extractions, which always it's painful, but it's also satisfying to know that she's taking all of the oil in the parts where the you can't see it until you have a microscope in her lens, essentially next to your face. Yeah, that's good.
Speaker 1:Yeah, if that does fascinate me like the. Does she wear like the little magnifying glass to? Oh, yeah, no, with the light.
Speaker 2:No, it's interesting, her studio, which is in oh, what is it? I guess it's considered River North it. There's two rooms and then of course, you know, like the front, you know reception area, and it's just her. She's sure, she's just her. She's just turned 70 to meet and she pulls you into this room. She gives you a little towel to put over and take your clothes off, she puts a little headband on you and you lay in this chair and it's kind of dark and she always has like soft jazz music playing of some sort.
Speaker 2:She's just a CD player, which I think is adorable, and there's these big fucking machines, you know, behind her and she sits down. How are you? Oh, let's see, let's see. And then she has this, you know, big light, you know that's right on your face, sure, and just looking, and she's like, oh, oh it just I can tell by the sound of her voice how bad it's going to be, you know. And every time I'm like I'm good, right, I'm like I'm good today, are you proud of me? I'm just looking for validation. And she's like, oh, I see. You know, let's say I see all the skin, you know, and then goes to town. But no, she doesn't wear anything like any blends, it's pure. I've been doing this for 50 fucking years, yeah.
Speaker 1:And.
Speaker 2:I transformed people's skin. There's not one like I don't go in and know what she's going to do, I just sit in her chair and she does whatever my skin needs, and she treats people like that. It's very much individual, it's not. You know, I'm going to give you pick from a menu.
Speaker 1:You don't get a menu at now, you get the chair.
Speaker 2:And she assesses, you know, what you need and she, you know, proceeds to get you the medicine you need, and it's always yeah, it's a trip.
Speaker 1:I wonder if it's a French thing.
Speaker 2:And I say that because Rajit our friend that's in Hawaii she's a masseuse.
Speaker 1:She's also studied kinesiology. She started a chiropractic. Like I forgot that she did chiropractic for a while when she cracked my neck the last time I was there and I was like, oh shit, she knows what she's doing, right, right.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:But regardless. Actually, if she didn't have her chiropractic, I still would fucking let her.
Speaker 2:do it because it's perjee. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:Like she puts you in poses that you're just like. Well, she makes you get naked, which is totally fine for massage, and then she covers you with a sarong and it's not the full body, sarongs.
Speaker 1:It's the sarong. That is basically a napkin, yeah. And then all of a sudden your knee is by your ear and she's pressing on some things and I'm like, oh god, I hope no one walks up the deck right now, Because they're gonna get a fucking show. It's just crazy, but there is no one that has ever given a massage the way Projie gives a massage.
Speaker 2:It's pure medicine. That's why I even like I don't know what she calls herself, but I can't, I know and I can't remember when I said like, oh, I go to a woman who's like a face. She's like no, no, no, I'm not the facialist. No, they just, you know, look at you, they give you something and that's it. You know, they give you the same thing. She's like she treats, she's like a doctor for the skin, but she's not a dermatologist. She's a healer of something. Yes, yes, it's different, it's very different.
Speaker 2:She's had tons of high profile clients all her life. I know she worked for Oprah for a while. She tells me once in a while a story or two about you know a couple of high profile people that have come in her past and how she gets a little extra fun with the extractions. They say some bullshit she doesn't want to take.
Speaker 1:Yeah, brigitte's the same. Her massage table has been signed by Bill Clinton.
Speaker 2:Oh, wow.
Speaker 1:Pierce Brosnan and a couple other people, and a few years ago, when we were there, she was getting a bid. She was pulling together a bid for somebody that was coming to the island and she, you know, had to sign an NDA or whatever, and she never told us who it was, because that's just who Brigitte is. But yeah, like the rock, is there all the time and I'm like, oh my God, if she's got her hands all over Dwayne Johnson and she's like and she's just like a body's a body.
Speaker 2:Yeah, doesn't matter whose it is. A body's a body, yeah.
Speaker 1:And I'm like, oh, all right. Well then, that makes me feel better the next time I'm in Child's Pose on your table with this little tiny towel, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:It's wrong. Just the body. It's just a body that she's trading, it's not. She's looking at you and judgment. She's looking at you and like, oh, this not, or whatever you know a masseuse does to make an assessment as to what it is that you need. Like a masseuse, like you said. I think it's. Some people are just more than that.
Speaker 1:Absolutely. I remember our friend Hunter when we introduced her to Brigitte. He's like all right, I'm going for one of these massages. So he's telling us the story afterwards and he's like, she tells me to get into Child's Pose and he's like first of all, I don't know what that is. And she shows me what it is and all of a sudden, here I am, staring my balls right, oh God.
Speaker 2:He backs me up. What did he say was the best massage he's ever had.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah. There has been nobody that has gotten off of her table that hasn't said that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's great. Yeah, I need to go just to visit her. Oh, yeah, you do.
Speaker 1:Yeah, my brother in law, kenny, when he goes he gets two when he goes there, because he's just like I don't go there often every year like you guys do he's like, so I got to take advantage of it. And then she does this whole cupping thing too. And he's like he goes. At one point it felt like there were eight different hands on me because she also like sits on, like kneels on you and like, uses her knees on the back of your, on your hamstrings or your for me.
Speaker 1:She does it on my glutes, which is spectacular, and then her arms and elbows are doing something else and he's like. At one point it felt like there were eight hands and I thought maybe Guillaume came in to help her out.
Speaker 2:He comes, her husband, and I was just like oh, yeah, that would be hilarious, but no, that would be great. That's just for.
Speaker 1:Jeets magic, she's like awesome.
Speaker 2:Oh, that's awesome. Yeah, I had a good massage last night. Actually, speaking of, yeah, my, I'm going to the same guy. Now it's almost a year. I guess I should probably take a look at my membership. But I do that. One of those memberships at Sure, I think it's local. I'm not sure if it's a local franchise, but sure it's not like massage envy or anything like that Not that I have any, you know whatever, but it's in the South Loop, really cute, and that's all they do is massage and it's at weird times it's like 50 minutes or 80 minutes, like you don't get nine.
Speaker 2:You know what I mean. Like the standard only part. That, yeah, bothers me. First time I went, there was a guy named Jesse and I just, you know, I don't know who I'm going to, I'm just going in, yeah, and it was like, oh, you know, like this he's, he knows what he's doing, yeah, and of course, now, because I go once a month, that's what the membership is and now he knows we've been doing this for so long where he knows my body and it's not like I. Even he has the same questions every time. First off, he's, he literally looks like he's high.
Speaker 2:Every single time I see him Like I don't think I've ever seen the color of his eyes, because they're shut you know, like that kind of high, Just like yeah, he's not in his mind. He also looks like a redheaded Jesus. He's a little tall, kind of thin, with a lot of puffy red hair and a beard, and he is very white, like very transparent white right. So, and it's nothing.
Speaker 1:It's fucking opie.
Speaker 2:I'm with this kind of but yeah, he looks like my first almost husband, like that's what's off.
Speaker 1:Say, I feel like there's a type here.
Speaker 2:He looks like Beyonce number one a little bit, except he was blonde with, you know, wild hair.
Speaker 1:This guy's still, yeah, yeah, like still the same gangly look, yeah, the same gangly.
Speaker 2:look, yeah again. Can't I look him in the eyes and he's not really looking at me? Or is he shutting his eyes so tight because he's can't look anyway? Yeah, as he's. The same questions, you know. Are you have any issues with Lavender? Do you have anything in particular you want me to work on and or focus on, and what kind of pressure do you like? Same questions I get the same answer this time. I hadn't seen him in two months because I went to someone else, since he was out of town and the guy sucked.
Speaker 2:So I see him and I'm like, hey, long time, no C. You know, this is the most we've ever talked to this point. Sure, it's like, hey, I could see you. Anything, any new issues? Nope, so anything you want me to focus on, I'm like all of it. He's like, OK, you still afraid of Lavender? Nope, nope, no issues. Go in. This man, literally with his hands, said to me hey, girl, I missed you, I love it. I love it. I mean, you do it. That's something new, that's a knot, let's get in there. Just like elbows and hands and arms. He does something where he rubs your back with just the amount of pressure, but like you would rub a baby. You know, sure, he burped like that. That is the I get. Like, I get goosebumps whenever he does it and I want to cry and I have, yeah, because I'm like there's something so magical about being touched. Touched, yes, but in a, but not in a sexual way.
Speaker 1:No right.
Speaker 2:Really Soothing, yes, oh.
Speaker 1:God, why do you? Why do you think babies want to be touched? Yes, swaddled.
Speaker 2:Rub your back.
Speaker 1:Yes, we were talking about that because I got a massage in Vancouver before I left. And we were talking about like what when we got, and I said well, I usually get the relaxing massages versus like a deep tissue because I'm a delicate flower. And sometimes it just gets a little too rough. But I can't quite take it Like I've literally the first time on Brigitte's table I had bruises.
Speaker 2:Oh, yeah, I wanted to fuck me up. Yeah, I was just like.
Speaker 1:I'm like, oh, I need a little bit of a chintler, yeah, and then when I go to Mexico, I'm like give me the relaxing massage, because I'm not mad about someone just petting my skin either.
Speaker 1:Yeah so there's just something about that. The guy that I had was like in the middle, but he did like more work on the upper body because my back was kind of fucking with me. And then he's like, well, do you want to? You know, do you mind? If I can, I do the buttocks and I'm like, oh God, yes, please. Because that's my favorite, like when my chiropractor does that, like I make it weird for him. Sometimes I'm like, oh, you're all dirty right, my chiropractor is just so flat.
Speaker 1:Like if he was an accountant. It's the same flat, high personality. So when I give him some shit like that, he's just like, oh, doesn't really know what to say to me, because I'm just like oh, my God, I feel so good.
Speaker 2:Oh God, yeah. I usually tell Jesse I love him when he asks me if he stops, you know, five minutes, or not, stops but five minutes. And he'll say you know, is the pressure okay, you like me changing anything? And I'm like I love you and he's like okay, and then he just keeps going, he keeps going.
Speaker 2:I get your phone number. That'd be great. Yeah, I like if I did. I breathe like he's just. I love the real, I love building a relationship with someone who is there for you know, you're like that part of my wellbeing.
Speaker 2:I never thought massage or any somatic work was as important as it is.
Speaker 2:And it's just talking to a friend about this too, this weekend who had acupuncture, and afterwards we were sharing, you know, through messages and such that there was a lot of other things that were coming up and I had to pause and just say you know, hey, reminder, you just had acupuncture.
Speaker 2:And I feel like the older I get, or the more aware, and like maybe self aware, that I've become with my physical body. Those types of practices acupuncture or massage, hell, yoga again practice all of those things, any of those somatic practices they have an impact and sometimes you don't even know what the impact is and I think when I was younger I wouldn't. People would say that like, oh, give me a salt, some water, eat some chocolate, get grounded, you know, and I would hear it and not even allow myself to let the practice resonate in some way. Right Now it doesn't have a choice and I think there's a part of that is like this is what it's like to be sober where you are, you are in it, you feel all of the things, including the impact of some of these somatic practices, and the way that the release I think that comes from it is so strong.
Speaker 1:Absolutely, I 100% agree, which is why I've always been fascinating with more Eastern medicine than Western medicine, because I think that so much can be learned from our body which, like when you were talking about with your facial leg, you walk in and she's just like oh, you haven't had any water, oh, you've been eating spicy food Totally.
Speaker 1:She doesn't know your fucking menu, but here, you can see it on you Right, and you're not given, you're not thinking twice about it, you're like never. Yeah, I think it's. It's fascinating how much we don't listen to our bodies and that we don't understand today.
Speaker 2:The impact?
Speaker 1:I don't think so. I just think it's a as I've gotten older and I think for me yoga opened this up for me. But I think I've done more work beyond that because for me my yoga training was all about the physical part of it and not about anything else. But as I've gone through and done different sort of healing work, different sort of somatic therapies and things like that, like I am much more aware of how all of this stuff shows up in your body. Honestly, I really think like when I read, your body keeps a score.
Speaker 1:Prior to that book I had heard you know different things and I think I just that like opened up the box for me and I was just like, All right, there's some shit here. And actually this when I was in Vancouver, there was a book there that Val had that's called Metaphysical Anatomy and it breaks down anything that's going on in your body like why, why, that would be there. And so I looked up an eel gland like what happens if some things are closed off in your Penel gland and I'm like, oh, that's fucking awesome. Here we go. And then I looked up I have high Cholesterol from a couple years ago when I went in for my physical after Covid and I'm like, well, I know what?
Speaker 1:Yeah, yes, I get why I probably have high cholesterol. Like I've been drinking beer, like it's going out of style and I've been eating whatever the fuck I want. So, yeah, I've been wait. Obviously my cholesterol go up, go up. But in the book for metaphysical it says lack of joy and I'm like, huh, Well, that's, that makes sense too great. Alright, then I'm super excited now to dive into this book and just be like, oh yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah shit in there and I think, like you said, like you have acupuncture and you're opening up all of these channels that have been Blocked in your body. It needs to go someplace.
Speaker 2:Yeah, totally, it has to. It doesn't? It's not just you poke yourself or you get poked and that's the end, same in all roles. You roll over and you know that's the end of. I mean sure, again, I feel like that's part of at least that's been my my experience with some of this work. Emdr is a lot like that. Yeah, and the same thing I was saying. It's almost like you when you would go and drop off film to get developed. That's what some of this, like EMDR, specifically feels like, that you go in.
Speaker 2:Process, a target, and then you know you leave and you're like right, oh you know, some shit got opened up there and in three days later, like I said, you're in a closet, crying a fetal position, and you're like oh, I don't know why I'm mad at the potato chips. Well, it's because of whatever it's like. That's the film. Like you drop it off. Yeah, the picture like is this what I took? Like I don't even remember this happening, or or?
Speaker 1:whatever.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and that I yeah, it's been. That has been a very interesting part of, like, I think, growing and healing and Becoming more self-aware, and that's also been a very interesting part of sobriety, because I'm no longer blocking my own self from myself right, right.
Speaker 1:That's fascinating. I like that a lot and I love the analogy with the EDMR, with the uh dropping off the film. That's Because it also feels like you're also digging back in that box a film that you fucking kept in your life.
Speaker 2:Oh shit, yeah.
Speaker 1:Oh man, I wore that. Oh, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I don't remember any of this, like they literally is three days, I mean it should hit you and you don't, you think you're okay and you are okay until yeah then pops up and then you're able to process it in a way that maybe you weren't open to, right, open to processing before. Yeah, ununcapable, yeah, yeah, they did something in locks. I love that. I do love that. I also feel like with you know. Back to to Jesse, my friend Jesse, in the massage. I um, you know I have some tort stories about my past and Massage therapists that come to your home.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I don't want to be.
Speaker 1:Leaving it there.
Speaker 2:I have some amends to me.
Speaker 2:We'll say that, and I feel like this is a living amends for me to be in a very professional yet Respectful relationship of, like, you know, receiving the gift and also being able to, you know, give the gift back, and of course, in the form of money.
Speaker 2:But you know, I fucking tip him 35, 40%, one, because it's that important and I want him to like, know, like this work isn't just like, and even though that shop kind of feels like a shop, you know you get one after the other and I can't imagine what his a day looks like. And so to have someone coming at the end of your day and you're still giving them, you know your best and you're still paying attention, I guess just wild how he Um Can pick. He got some people just have that neck for knowing, like I'm seeing, this person is not just a person but like a body that needs Attention. So it's nice to not it's an, it's nice to be in that kind of a relationship with someone and also respect the craft of body work in a way that isn't like you know. Take me down.
Speaker 1:Oh god, that's, that's real.
Speaker 2:That's real too. You need to get it down.
Speaker 1:Oh God, I'm not paying for that.
Speaker 2:That's a different service.
Speaker 1:That's a different service. That's a different service. That's a different number. Maybe maybe the building next door. I'm sorry for your father who may listen to this back. I don't think he does. Okay, I don't think he's figured it out yet. I've showed him several times, I just it's not on the radar, sorry.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:All right, anything else going on?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm just going to say I'm sorry for your father, I'm sorry for your father, I'm sorry for your father. Not really, today's been low key. I spent some time with a friend yesterday A coworker friend I don't even like calling our coworkers. I feel like that categorizes her as like someone I'm not vulnerable with and I really are. Like we have to come Close and, like I said, I got my massage. We've gone for a long walk today and yesterday.
Speaker 2:It's sunny here. I'm going to get ready for a little bit of a massage. I'm going to make some potato leek soup tonight and Chill out. Get ready, for you know I'm not going to get ready for work, I'm going to enjoy the rest of the evening that sounds great.
Speaker 1:That's sounds delightful.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm going to try something new. It's creamless, which basically means it's just a lot of celery, it's everything. Jeff hates a lot of celery, a lot of leeks.
Speaker 1:It's just a lot of celery, that's just a lot of celery. That's just a lot of celery, that's just a lot of celery, that's just a lot of celery Period.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah but.
Speaker 1:No, that sounds great. I do like potato soup.
Speaker 2:Me too. I bought some really good cheese from a farmer's market yesterday. I also got some lamb fennel sausage. I thought I could make a little baby lamb fennel sausage meatballs for that soup.
Speaker 1:Oh.
Speaker 2:Necessarily feel like doing that right now. So we'll see I'm going to try it.
Speaker 1:I like it All right. Well then, on that note, what's that?
Speaker 2:Are you flying back tonight?
Speaker 1:No, I just got here.
Speaker 2:Oh, I thought you were there for the weekend, but you're there, no, I just got here.
Speaker 1:I leave we leave on Thursday, so Jeff's here for a work trip. So I just came in to see him and spend some time in New Orleans, get some grits I'm so excited have some help.
Speaker 2:What's the weather like?
Speaker 1:80s. I know it's warm.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's cold as shit here. And I know what's called in Minnesota.
Speaker 1:So yeah, yeah, it was 40s when I left.
Speaker 2:It just like she we're in November. No, we are in.
Speaker 1:November, almost yeah, it was actually 37 would be when I left this morning, mm, hmm, it's winter coat season for y'all.
Speaker 2:All ready 36.
Speaker 1:Okay, 20s, 20s. I'll wear my winter coat. Oh my God, and it'll be that next week, exactly After I leave this.
Speaker 2:As soon as you leave 20s, damn, oh man. It just doesn't seem right. But I know we're here, so it's all right, me and San Diego on a Maybe 80 something days.
Speaker 1:So yeah, that's gonna be great yeah. All right, right on that note.
Speaker 2:Have a good time, Joe.
Speaker 1:I will. I will talk to you later. Bye.
