A Nightmare On Elm Street (2010) / Everything That's Happening is Confusing (Guest: Matthew Fosket)

Sommelier (aka Grape Gawd)/Musician/and theme titan Matthew Fosket is back in the role of the man of our dreams to talk about "A Nightmare on Elm Street" (2010 Dir. Samuel Bayer) Starring - Rooney Mara, Jackie Earle Haley, and Kyle Gallner.  Get ready to spin some old compact laser discs on the highway to upset feelings and trauma related to, and not related to the emo wave. Like, the severe lack of Wes Craven, legitimate scares, and ya know....stakes? Hands down, it's The Ghost of a Good Thing. We Fight the Good Fight, With a Burning Heart For You To Notice. It's a Rapid Hope Loss...as Again I Go Unnoticed. We sink our claws into this, Screaming Infidelities, and much much more, in this special Director's Cut (cuts so deep) Reboot Remake Special Edition of the Review Review Spooky Season 

More Matt Fosket:

Demolition Man / Those Are Balls

Plot:  The spectre of a disfigured man haunts the children of the parents who murdered him, stalking and killing them in their dreams.

Recorded 10/23
1hr 46mins

Transcript

Wait. Welcome back to the review review. Shitty season. Stupid season. This is putrid Paul.

I'm here with Bitch Ben, masochist Matt. We watched Nightmare on Elm Street from 2010. Ben, take over because this one's in the bag. Review Review.

Spooky season! Spooky. Spooky. Spooky. We welcome all of it.

You had 3 sips of wine. I did. Yeah. Yeah. And that's what happened.

Yeah. Absolutely. Matthew Foskett's here. Hello. He's back.

He's back. How many recurring, guests are you? You've been reanimated. Well, Keiko Green. Like, Keiko Green.

So Keiko Green came back, but that's because her episode got erased. And then Sanjiv has actually been back. He's he's a 3 timer. 3 times total. You are our second second timer, I believe, if you don't count Keiko.

And then Audrey Oh, and Audrey. Twice as well. So they're They're fine. Not that special. Nope.

Nah. Totally fine. Nope. Not special. Pretty fine.

You didn't really set me up like you were special. I just assumed that. I mean, we're just a bunch of mediocre white dudes. Right? I I don't know.

It's pretty expensive. Tell us about the wine you brought in. That's exceptional. Remind the kind remind the kind listeners why they like you. Because I'm exceptional.

Are you unlimited? Don't you do that. Oh, sorry. Yeah. That's awful.

I said Can you cut it out? Terrible. He might. We'll see. He's cut it out.

Cut it. They couldn't see what Matt did. Ben communicated it beautifully. But hey, everybody. Welcome.

Matt's back. And the movie we watched for spooky season, this was my choice. It was. We did watch The Nightmare on Elm Street remake. From the year 2010.

Yes. Question. There's a hand raised. Why was it your choice? I am a massive fan of the franchise.

I'm a huge fan of the original. I guess you could say 7 or 8 if we include Freddy versus Jason. This is a movie that I had sat down and watched one time before this in its entirety. How many times have you seen the other ones? Oh, man.

Over and over and over? I don't know. Yeah. No clue. Before we get too far into it though Exactly.

I wanted to pump the brakes there. I want you to pump it. Pump it up. Pump it up. Remember our box?

I want I want I want Matt Foskett to tell everyone remind everyone, because they all have amnesia, who you are and what wine you brought us. Sorry. So my name is Matt Foskett. I am the wine director at a restaurant in downtown Los Angeles called Redbird, and I also play music sometimes. I have a Hell, musician.

Called Yonder House. You might remember him from such songs as What Are We Watching? And the spooky season director's cut. Which we haven't heard yet. We haven't.

I'm excited to hear it. Of What Are We Watching? What Are We Watching? W as we call it. Which is fairly similar to the original version.

I'm almost But different. But different. Yeah. Yeah. Well, you know, we have our spooky season intro and outro, and we have our spoopy season when we're watching.

Or all the way in. I feel like last time I was here, I was kinda dogging on really long movies and long podcast, director's cut sorts of things. So I thought I would also do a director's cut of What Are We Watching. It's 35 minutes long. Tongue in cheek there.

Yeah. I see what you got. You're just like a regular old Zack Snyder. I am not that that going. Forward?

Always in the place. You don't take that many steroids? That's no, I do. Alright. Look at him.

Are you kidding? He's jacked. So, I brought a wine called Agnes Paquet is the winemaker. We just actually went to France for vacation and we went and visited her. Oh, wow.

Yeah. And it is a Aligote from Burgundy and it is That's the varietal. Aligote is the varietal. Okay. Yes.

So, in Burgundy, there's Chardonnay which is what nearly everything is planted to and then there's a tiny amount of aligotay, which used to be planted a lot and most of it's been ripped up because you can charge a lot of money for Chardonnay. A little bit amount of money for alagote. I'm really enjoying it. It's very subtle. So smooth.

Yeah. So when you have a really good winemaker, they'll make a really great alagote, but won't be as expensive as their chardonnay. So you're getting the quality to price is is really, really high, because they're making the wine with the same level of knowledge and quality. Sure. Everyone always asks for Chardonnay though, I feel like.

Because they know it. It's common. At least when I was a server. Sure. But ask them what Chardonnay is.

Right. Well, they're like But they always were like, I want a big California Chardonnay. Yeah. Mhmm. Yeah.

And that's when you get a new job. I want a woody I'd like a woody chard, please. You're like, okay. And I'll sell this to you for $9 a glass. No problem.

Yeah. Easy money. Not anymore. Oh, inflation. Sorry.

Is there anywhere you can go to drink a $9 glass of wine? Thanks and tell me where it is. I lost my serving job in 2020. So Oh, no. Never went back.

Oh, yay. Yeah. Okay. Copy story. Oh, oh, yay.

How are you, Paul? I am doing all You look like you root for sports. I do enjoy sports. I made sure to wear my, gentleman from Oklahoma sportsman jersey, mister Steve Largent, little throwback. As we just watched the Seahawks prevail on Monday Night Football, the other thing, you'd almost swear Freddie got me.

But it was, Maggie, Margaret as it were, the cat. Your kitty. She had to go to the vet. She's gonna get her, tooth that she has removed, needs to go. Her singular tooth?

She in the front, she's got one other than her canines. Why did you get her a metal like glovey Oh, good question. Cloth thing. Great question. You would expect Great question.

Yeah. You would expect that I wouldn't, but I'm really into the season. I'm invested in the podcast. I'm invested in all aspects of Felines have canines? Canine teeth.

Oh, that's confusing. Yeah. Isn't it? Yeah. Like, look at mine.

Oh, I yeah. But you're not. But those are just teeth. I know. Alright.

But aren't they still called the canines? I'm not a cap. No. Get off my wife. If you have like these ones that are long, you're not a vampire.

Oh, I'm not? No. They're just cute. Fucking Christ. I've been living my life for crazy the wrong life.

We've been trying to tell you that. So I I'm not okay. You don't identify as a vampire. Eye is not a thing. Not okay.

You know what? I'm gonna say no. Take note of my favorite song in the world, I am not okay. What song is that exactly? Is it good if you're that in?

I don't care. Just tell us. Don't worry. I can't remember. Favorite song.

We're gonna cut it. Favorite song. It's gonna be best emo band. We'll cut that for you. Matt, how are you doing?

Oh, it's okay. Yeah. It's fine. No. That's good.

I'm doing so good. A little better now. So good. Yeah? So good.

Good. Yeah. Yeah. Excellent. Yeah.

Well, Ben, how are you? Oh, thank you for asking. That's something I gotta do. Gotta move this fucking train along. Yeah.

Exactly. I'm doing well. I'm sandwiched here between 2 jack wads but I didn't know. Mike, when I was a small small kid, I had a doll, Steve Largent. Oh, nice.

80 Jersey. Yeah. 1st, like, sports thing I remember having. Yeah. Yeah.

Like a stuffed animal that was Steve Largent. I had a, Animal stuffed person. Stuff yeah. I had a sidebar. I had one of those Hulk Hogan, like Yeah.

Wrestle buddies. Yeah. Buddies. Yeah. Wrestle buddies.

Beat them buddies. Beat it Buddies. That's different. Beat it Buddies is a different thing. No?

Is it? How do you do with that? Beat it, buddy. That's when, you know, it's Beat it, Hadoop. That's when Fred Krueger's like, will you be my Beat it Buddy?

Oh, yeah. They did release one of those. Will you come to my cave and be my Beat it party? There are no dead poets there. I'll show you.

Oh, 2 movies with a cave. Yeah. Different kind of cave. A little bit. Nudity.

No. Cut that out. Are you gonna play us our new What Are We Watching? Well, I was curious if Are we there yet? Is there something that either of you have been watching?

Well, we need to we have to hear the theme first. Okay. Let's do it. Strap in. I'm gonna press play.

And everybody's still here. We actually just gained 900 listeners. Wow. Wow. Incredible.

That can't be true. You tag director's cut and they the they code the promo droves. Wow. How did you accomplish that? That was amazing actually.

It really was. Thank you so much. You're welcome. Yeah. The what did you say was the vocoder when I was watching?

The vocoder, magic vocoder. Oh, wonderful. Spoopy, got me into the the spoopy feeling in the season. Well, it's like you take something that already existed that people like It made it longer. Expand on it, make it different, make the experience different.

You don't just retread the fucking tire. Right? Yeah. You make something different. Goddamn it.

Can we one second. I'm fine. No. No. No.

No. You'll probably cut this. No. Not right down the street. No.

I know. But you'll probably cut this. But we're gonna use that theme in our other spooky episodes. I may cut a shorter version for some. But I think the director's cut.

Did I not send you the contract first? I think no. Yeah. It can't be edited. In this one and the end of the month, I wanna keep the full one.

But I would love to get a shorter one for a few of the others. So we're gonna have a fight? Yeah. So you're saying No. No.

No. No. Quickly, if you wanna have a fight No. No. You're saying that the people listening to this will listen to 3 and a half hours of a podcast, but they won't listen to a minute and 40 second long song?

Five stars. Sold. That's an argument, folks. That's an argument. I feel like I'm Sold.

I've got whiplash. Put in the blood, sweat, and tears. So alien or aliens? I've never seen either. And speaking of End of podcast.

No. As we're as we're talking about, what we're watching Yeah. Go ahead. That's not true. I've seen Alien.

Oh, okay. So you pick Alien by default. Default. Default. Pretty cool.

What are you watching? Winning Time Go ahead. On HBO suddenly just fucking ended. It just pulls the rug out from under you and it's really unpleasant. And I just wanna warn people.

Sometimes you wanna kinda get people ready for something that might not be pleasant. It's just good to give them that cushion. Is it supposed to be Put a glove on before you lay the hair. Did it get canceled or did it just end? So apparently, the viewership wasn't great.

They had dealt with various issues because of the strike and, expensive contracts, etcetera. And the show just wraps up in a really fucking abrupt way. So yeah. They probably had, like, 1 episode or some 2 episodes to they they got the notice, like, alright. That's it.

Yeah. They just had to try to do the best they could. That's what it felt like. And then they basically just give you a bunch of title cards at the end, like, so this is what happened for the next, like, 7 or 8 years. And you're, like Wow.

Oh, shit. Okay. Yeah. Okay. Alright.

I'll eat this shit. I don't care. That's just kinda where I am. Matt, where I'd like to go, what do what do you I don't know if you know this segment but we do a little segment called what are we watching? The funny thing is I never connected the dots.

Like, I just wrote the song. Yeah. Sure. Didn't really know what it was for. True or false, after the song plays, you do turn off the podcast.

Correct? I can't confirm or deny. I I feel like that is a confirmation. It has been mentioned on this podcast. Matt, it'll be interesting I did listen to that part.

It'll be interesting if you ever go back through the episodes and see if anything was ever said about you or that. Post the song. Like, how much, like, someone's, like, I listen to his other music and I love it so much. Yeah. And, like, I would love to pay him so much money to, like, do something and, like but I wasn't listening, so I wouldn't know.

Nope. There you go. Tough titties, said the kitty when the milk was all gone. Truly they are though, like, literally. Yeah.

Ben What? Hold on. He didn't tell us what he's been watching. Oh, I was gonna ask you. We watched Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency.

How is that? So when it came out, I was a huge Douglas Adams guy. I haven't watched it as a kid. Years. Not even a kid, like early twenties.

Loved Hitchhikers. Loved Dirt Gently. Loved So Long, Thanks for All the Fish. Pretty much anything I could find. Didn't love Hitchhikers, the movie.

Same. Tried to watch it again like Rockwell slaps in that movie though. Oh, he is a really good actor like we're saying. So is Mostev. It should work.

Yeah. And it just doesn't. Yeah. It's not a I I feel like it's kind of unadaptable. Wasn't it?

Yeah. It's an impossible feat. Yeah. It's unfortunately. Yeah.

The BBC I don't know if you ever did you ever listen to the BBC audio drama of it? No. It's actually pretty good. It's a but it's verbatim. Okay.

Well, yeah. Sure. Just the sound effects added and stuff in the background and shit? Yeah. Like, they have a new But Douglas Adams was actively doing it.

I believe so. Yeah. Oh, cool. So and and I think he was very hesitant for a movie to be made. I can imagine why.

I think he was for years too. I think for years it was like no no no no no. And then finally it and it was just I tried to watch it like maybe 3 months ago and it was just disappointing. But like, well, I'd watched it when it came out. Yeah.

It wasn't great and I was like maybe it was me more than it was the movie. Hey, that's the myth that's our podcast. And it just wasn't. Dirk Gently, I think when it first came out, Rachel and I tried to watch an episode or 2 and was kind of like what just never got back to it. It's really really good.

The storytelling is great. The acting is great. It's still really hard with special effects to capture that genius. Sure. But the story is so good that it works.

And by the end, you're like, I'm really bummed out this is over. When where where did that stream? Or where is it? Where's Hulu? I think it's on Hulu or Amazon Prime.

Okay. Yeah. Garth Merengue, which I champion on this all the time, is on Amazon Prime. And I feel like they have a tendency to get a good amount of BBC stuff. I think it probably is.

Yeah. Yeah. I Feel like maybe I've seen it on Prime? I think it was Prime. And it popped up and it was like, we'd finished watching something probably Columbo because that's what we watch all the time.

One more thing. Sorry. It's okay. Sorry. What?

I hit this. It popped up and I was like, let's just give it a try. And probably a week and a half later, we just watched all of it. It's really really good. Okay.

Yeah. I I haven't watched it in many years. Yeah. No. Get back into it.

I mean, honestly, like, 4 and a half, 5 stars. Like, it would be really, really good. My turn. Ben, what are you watch? I have one more episode left of Ahsoka.

I have one more episode left. Oh. Sorry. I had to pee. Sorry.

I couldn't wait. Goddamn it. Same joke. I'm one episode away on, Only Murders in the Building. Yeah.

And because apparently the whole BBC realized we needed it, British Bake Off just started. It sure did. So that's come back into my life and brought me some joy. Yeah. Yeah.

Oh, I rewatched the movie Moon, just because our alien aliens episode, which will air at some point. Shut up. It it's just so good. Just like I said, Sam Rockwell is just a generational talent, and he is phenomenal in that movie. I don't think that movie succeeds without him.

If if anybody was gonna be Zaphod Biblbrox and pull it off that I could think of, and I mean, I guess at times he does, but I agree with what y'all are saying about Hitchhikers. But that I gotta go back to Moon again. I feel like it's been like 4 or 5 months. Yeah. I wasn't sure.

It just feels like too long. It's been so long. Yeah. Such a great movie. When did it come out?

2009? Yeah. Something like that. I guess before that. Maybe even before.

Yeah. I know it's Sony Pictures classics. Duncan Jones directed. But I haven't seen it since then. Yeah?

Like, since it came out. Oh, go back to it, buddy. Yeah. Do yourself a favor. Ben is correct.

You are correct, sir. You are correct, sir. So I have a question. Yeah. What are we watching?

Well, we did go over that. But now I can put in now I can put in a little stinger, like, beneath this of just an excerpt of the full director's cut. Yes. Looking pretty good. So in terms of history with this film, love Freddie for a really long time.

Reboot was coming out, was stoked, knew who some of these actors were, had an idea who some of the writers were, some of the people involved or whatnot. I was like, okay, cool. And went to the theater opening night and I did not have a good time. I really did not have a good time. Oh, interesting.

That movie was a one and a half star movie for me. Wow. Yeah. Really not a Didn't enjoy it. Not a big fan of it.

You didn't even let Matt choose you one. You just dove right in. I did. Just in 2 lisp. I talked a little bit about my background and I'm just like, I'm Your background as a child molester and murderer.

And now I've been caught and So it's too close to home. Too close to home. This doesn't Everything happened to me except I didn't get burned at the end. This does not properly represent me. Now I still have to hide in plain sight with this hilarious nose.

Face off. Yeah. I feel like this time I normally have a full head of hair, guys. I do this strategically. Your face looks great, Oh, thanks.

Who would you like to go next, Paul? Can I ask a follow-up question before? I apologize. What is the original? Number 1, what's your what's the rating of the original?

Oh, yeah. OG. 5, like, a soft 5. Out of 5. Yeah.

It's real good. An a minus, not an a plus. Yeah. Yeah. It's one of those things where it's like it doesn't get the 100 but it's it's sneaking.

It's sniffing at it. Yeah. Yeah. Matt? No, please.

Me? Yeah. I mean, I did pick the movie. No. Totally.

You can pick the movies. You can pick your friends. You can't pick your friends' movies. But your nose? My nose is totally on limits.

Okay. Good. Why did no no number says on limits? Totally with limits, but on limits. But on limits.

I feel like one person says on limits. And we don't like to say his name. Was his name Harley Weinstein? Yeah. It was orange skin.

Oh. Did he say on limits? I feel like he does. I don't know. That guy, he always says on limits.

Yeah. I remember seeing the trailer for this back in 2010 and not not having such a a precious connection to the franchise like like Paul does. I've, of course, seen the original and seen some of the sequels. I I can't necessarily pick them out individually. But I remember seeing the trailer and being like, oh, Jackie Earle Haley.

That is an interesting choice. What clarification. What year was the Zack Snyder's Watchmen? Previous year. Okay.

So did not care for that movie. Love the casting of Jackie Earle Haley as Rorschach. I think he's phenomenal in that part. So I was like, oh, interesting choice. But I had not seen it.

I did not see the movie. That's who plays Freddie. Freddie. Freddie. Okay.

Yeah. I hadn't seen this movie until 2 days ago when I watched it. Wow. Okay. First experience.

First experience. Yeah. Matt? My experience is 10 hours old. Woah.

I just old enough for Booyah. Booyah. So much editing. Got him. Nailed it.

Busted. The FYI is here. Busted. Is that Gronk? Gronk.

Yeah. Yeah. Busted. What a good actor. Top 5.

This is not the sort of movie I watch on a regular basis. Interesting. Not a little spooky. It's not I don't hate them. I just they I'm they don't really appeal to me too much.

I like some old ones. I liked it. The Tim Curry one? The remake. The remake I liked a lot.

I like the original. I like the first part of the remake. I thought it was really good. Yeah. With the kid.

Which to be honest, watching the second of the old one reminded me more of that. Yeah. In terms of, like, being pulled into this. It feels yeah. But it feels like you're transplanted into something.

Yeah. But that's probably a different discussion. I don't watch movies during the day ever. Oh. You're like a dad.

Woah. Woah. Woah. Excuse you. Sorry.

I'm not like Paul. Yeah. I'm the dad here. You know, dads, they will they'll just stand while someone's watching a movie. Hands on it.

They will I am the patron. They're gonna come out to sitting down. Have been. But to watch the whole thing. To watch the whole thing.

Yeah. You can sit. They might I'm good. They might put the dishes away, but they're still watching. They're still watching.

Yeah. Wait. Wait. Run that back. What'd she say?

Wait. What happened? No. Go no. Little you went too far.

Goddamn it. You ruined it. Thing. It's a DVD. It keeps going too far.

They can't sit down though because then they're, like, not productive. Right. Yeah. Correct. They're lazy.

Gotta gotta yeah. And the lawn needs mowed. It's it does. Who the fuck else is gonna do it? Not the kids.

Yeah. No shit. No. Lazy generation. Not my fault.

No. Not at all. It felt like a little vacation. Yeah. Because I don't watch movies during the day.

I work at night. You'd be, like, playing hook And I do stuff. So close the curtains, turned it up really loud. Got the lotion. Make sure nobody can see you.

No lotion. Not the Kleenex. Sat next to Rachel while she got up and down and up and down and went to the bathroom for no reason, but just did not be looking at the TV every once in a while. Yes. Smart.

Yep. So it was real fun. I don't know. 2, maybe. Woah.

That's Matt's current rating. Ben's holding it close to the vest. Did you want me to share? No. I think you should.

Wait until later. Of course. Okay. What number is bad? 2 is bad.

Okay. Great. 2. 2 out of 5 is not good. For me, it's 2 out of 5 is a d.

You know what? I'd say 2 and a 2 and a half. It picks up some d. It's like an average maybe. It gets a little fun for a minute there and a bit.

You're a d plus. Yeah. Okay. That's average. Something like that.

For because a d is average. A 3 would be c. D plus is average for certain school districts. 2 and a half is c and a 5, if we're doing a 5. No.

F I can't. D c Yeah. B a. Yeah. Wait.

Are we still in pairs here? Sorry. This is a nom. I please. I was just gonna be really mean for a second.

I was a b ever student. I was just gonna Say, I was a b average student. I was just gonna say that in Vancouver, probably a d plus is average. I was a almost an average student, guys. I was so close.

I grew up in Alaska. I'm allowed to say things like that. But it's like for me, this was one and a half. I can't I had a funny thing earlier. Hopefully, it'll come back to me.

We'll get there. On that note, let's talk about some things. Let's do it. The movie we all watch is a movie called A A Nightmare on Elm Street. No.

Not that one. The other one from New Line Cinema, Warner Brothers, and Platinum Dunes, the best production company, from 2010. It is rated r, and and it is a brisk hour 35 minutes. Yeah. Budget of this movie is 35,000,000 adjusted for inflation, thanks Biden, is 49,300,000.

Opening weekend, April 30, 2000 10, it made 32,900,000. Almost made its money back. 46,300,000. Final gross, North America, 63.1. Adjusted, that is 88.88888.

It's what? It's what now? 8888. Okay. Go ahead.

Final gross, world war sorry. Worldwide, a 115.7. That's a 163,000,000 adjusted. Other releases this weekend. Harry Brown, Furry Vengeance, Fish 3 d, Please Give.

You gotta give. Catherine Keener. Was this the worst week for film ever? Apparently. A lot of people give.

Got it. Lot of people give. He gives. He gives. Don't project that on me.

Apparently, they had it. Catherine Keener, Oliver Platt, Rebecca Hall. I've never heard of it. Weekend top 5, this. How to Train Your Dragon, enjoy the movie.

Date Night, The Backup Plan, and Furry what the fuck is Furry Vengeance? I wish I looked it up, but I Is it a Jim Henson thing? I don't I think it's CG. I think it's a is that oh, is that the one where they're, like, squirrels? Yeah.

I think you're thinking about Very Internet. I am. I don't know. Squirrels versus volcano. No.

That's Freddy versus volcano. You said it. I was like, yeah. The one where Freddy kills Meg Ryan. That was it.

Freddy v Batman. RTV Dawn of volcano. RTV, when I turn off our PlayStation, has, like, these weird TV channels that it connects to. Right? And yeah.

And there's this channel that's just bad, like, bad, bad, bad, bad sort of horror movies. But there's this movie called Airplane versus Volcano. It's real. Is I have a question. It's like No.

I know. But if you were to look at the producer, is it Asylum? Because Asylum made Sharknado. Yeah. I know.

They still use a check or a tattoo. It's a different person. No. No. It's a different person.

I looked it up. The whole it's just those movies. Like like, so many of them. Something versus something. Volcano versus asshole.

Like, there's just some guy Taco Bell versus asshole. Which is gonna win? I have an answer for you. It's a Taco Bell. Brought to you by shitty season.

Taco Bell. Yeah. Brought to you by Baja sauce. Bring back the cheesy gordita crunch, please. Top 5 films from this year, domestic abuse.

No. Domestically. Toy Story 3 Love it. Which makes me cry. Good movie.

Alice in Wonderland. Love it. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows part 1. I do love that movie. Inception also love that movie.

Shrek Ever After. I've never seen Shrek Ever After. They're making another one, I think. That will know. Thank god.

I'm a believer. I really liked Puss in Boots, The Last Wish. I hear it's amazing. So if they make it in the It's so good. Have you seen it?

No. It's it I no bullshit. One of the best movies from last year. Apparently, it's incredible. I highly recommend that movie.

And the animation styles. Films are note from this year, 1010, if you didn't remember. It's Clash of the Titans, the remake is bad. Prince of the Persia Prince of Persia, Sands of Time, also bad. Resident Evil Afterlife, bad.

Paranormal Activity 2, I don't remember that one. Vampires suck, Predators, which is not terrible, but not great. It's it's not bad. That's the Adrien Brody one. Yeah.

It's pretty solid. Shane Black what did you do? Is that Shane Black? No. Shane Black did the next one.

Predator. Right. Legion, which is a Paul Bettany. Yeah. The Legend of the Guardians, the Owls of Kahul by Zack Snyder.

Have you heard the story? Godfrey's in mind. Have you heard the story that I I read this somewhere where some theater in Texas, everyone went to go see Guardians of the Galaxy, and they started Legends of the Guardians of the Galaxy, apologized, paused it, restarted, and re and played again the Legends of the Guardians 3 times. Three times people were sitting there waiting for Guardians of the Galaxy to start. How did they still have that print or disc or chip or whatever?

My my next question was, Paul, was that you? Yeah. That's an excellent question. Troll. It's a legit question.

Letterbox average is 4.8? 4.8. Wow. That's Oh, wait. It's not it's not minus 0.2 from the Oh, it's So it's actually just That's just 2.

It's just 2. Letterbox average is 2. Okay. You can follow point 8 seemed high. It is.

It does. Right? My my Letterbox where you'll find out my rating on this after you listen to this episode, is at paulaxbadly. And on that run bmc? Have we convinced you yet?

Are you on Letterboxed? No. Good. Good. That's fair.

I work like 60 hours a week. I don't even wanna be here, man. I just wanted you to listen to my song. I'm not even supposed to be here. I'm here for promotion.

Roger Ebert at the beginning. Goddamn director's cut. Give it one star. An excerpt from the article. Are we supposed to be scared?

Answer your question. The list is a digital guide to arts and entertainment in the United Kingdom. Yes. Supposed to be scared. I am now.

Well, if you didn't hear that, Alexa is haunting us. Oh, shit. I said earlier. I mean, Bezos. Just the best from Bezos.

I think I have to go. Because, yeah, he's gonna call off the robot overlords after Ben appeased them just now. We're okay. Roger Hebert of the movies. One star.

An excerpt from the article. Are we supposed to be scared? Is the sudden clanging cord supposed to evoke a fearful Pavlovian response? For Rufus, maybe, but not for me. Here, boy.

Oh. Paul, I'm gonna throw it to you to talk about all these great individuals. So and that's the thing. Matt, you're raising a finger? I just have something to add really quick.

Please. So I rented the movie on Voodoo. Oh. And then I scrolled down. I'm gonna actually give you an invoice later.

Sure. Please. Yeah. Ratings and more info on Voodoo. And there's these little I thought I'd just go over this.

Wait. What is this? Violence, 5 out of 5. And it's kind of a violent thing? 3.

Positive role models and representation, 1. Okay. Language, 5. K. Consumerism, 1.

I don't know. There's a lot of people. Not enough consumerism? Well, I don't the goal is not to get to 5 necessarily. This is for parents to tell their kids if they can watch it or not.

Drinking, drugs, and smoking. 2. Oh, that's not right. Positive messaging. Not present.

It's not. It's not. So I turned it off. This is like if the lead singer of AFI was like, I'm gonna make a horror movie. Oh, yeah.

I gave this one and a half, tubes of mascara. Was my original score. Sure. Lash plumpers. I didn't say anything to Rachel, but in that first, like, 5, 10 minutes, whatever, the emo haircut is un like, it's like it's so funny.

All of them. It's so funny. Oh, shit. What did you say? All these great individuals.

Yes. He's thrown into you for these great individuals. What Ben has said a couple times now is totally true. There are a lot of insanely talented, creative, wonderful, smart individuals here, and I'm gonna say the names and titles of a lot of things. And then you will have watched this movie or you will watch this movie, and you'll be confounded and upset like I was.

So the director was Samuel Baer, who has directed hundreds of music videos including like smells like teen spirit and all sorts of iconic videos from like Bowie and Garbage. This was the movie that he has made. The only one? This is it. Yes.

This is it. It makes a lot of sense. Yeah. Writers were Wesley Strick who wrote the 1991 Kate Fear, Wolf with Jack Nicholson Good news. And The Saint with, Vin Kilmer or Val Diesel?

Diesel. Val Diesel. The the saint starring Val Diesel. Come on. Eric Kiserer, who wrote Final Destination 5, Lights Out, and a movie called Arrival.

Oh, yeah. Is that good? Yeah. I I That's Final Destination. It's been a while since it was good.

It's been a while. But Finalization 5, which one is that? It's the one where they were, like, they're gonna die. They're, like, maybe they die. What's the premise?

Is it the roller coaster? I I would say the premise is some sort of death trap that they have to do with the thing. I think it's the the tanning bed. I No. Tanning bed comes later.

Come on. I don't know. Sorry. I can't keep up. But I have not seen Arrival to be a 100% honest.

And apparently, that movie is Oh. One of the greatest movies ever. It's been a while since I've seen it. Like, actually good? Yeah.

Again, it came out around the same time as Contact. So I think it kinda got Many years after Contact. Was it? Yeah. Because Contact was 97 or 98 in Arrival.

You're thinking of the Charlie Sheen arrival. You've got Sheen on the brain. I'm not thinking of that arrival. You were great in Wall Street. You're talking about the villain.

You were great in Wall Street. Yeah. Villeneuve. You're talking about don't you point me at me? Villeneuve.

Got it. I loved you in Wall Street. It is a good movie. But the Sheen Arrival, I'm wondering if that holds up. I don't remember.

I watched it a few years ago. Probably problematic. I'm gonna guess. What? Well, their legs turned backwards, so you're right.

Thank you. There you go. Tells you everything you need to know. Backward legs, no thank you. There was someone named Wes Craven, r I p Never.

Who came up with these characters. He was the director of the first four Scream films, as well as a movie called Red Eye, and a movie called Music of the Heart starring Meryl Streep. Director of photography was, Satan. Beelzeb but woah. Jeff Cutter that morphed before my eyes.

Prey 10 Cloverfield Lane and Playing It Cool. Music was Steve Jablonski, transformers, transformers, and transformers age of extinction. Hey, Jablonski. You see the bats game? You know what?

What's the fucking bats, bro? You know what? What's the fucking bats, bro? Oh, alright. Alright.

Producers were Brad Fuller and Andrew Form. They did the Texas chainsaw remake, the Amityville remake, and the Friday 13th remake. Big remake, guys. Big big remake, guys. Yeah.

We're really we're really making the remake world? But also What if there is a movie, but we made it again? Like, for money. But, like, we made money. What if we Hey, did you guys see the mighty ducks?

What if I made it and I made some fucking money Oh, wait. It's already been made? Uh-oh. Fucking patch, bro. Again.

Go patch. Go patch, bro. That's that Friday 13th remake from 2009, kinda solid. Who directed that? I wish I could remember off the top.

Marcus Nispel? I haven't seen that one in a But I haven't seen that one. But That movie, like, oh, what if Jason, instead of doing, like, the thing that Michael and Jason did in the eighties, like, these spiritual, like, tortured souls, like, there's some sort of Trauma? But, like, supernatural. Supernatural thing that's going on and it's, like, but why?

It doesn't need to. Yeah. Like, it was such a good idea to just put Jason in the woods and make him, like, run underground and hate people that are on his, like, land and whatever like an animal. And be, like, traumatized by his mom. Right?

Yeah. To or or by the situation anyway. Being abandoned essentially. Didn't go that route with this movie. And Michael Bay who produced transformers.

He's my favorite. Transformers. Anything Michael Bay does. Sure. It's just right up my alley.

Couldn't you are a bad boy. You know, you must Too bad boys. Sorry. He's awful. This movie loves alleys too.

Like, tight, narrow passageways. Yeah. So many. Yeah. It's just like Michael Bay.

Classic Bay. Oh, I gotta cut that out. Jackie Earle Haley, Freddy Krueger. He was in Little Children. He was nominated for an Oscar for that film.

Great performance. Watchmen, which is what got him this movie. And the bad news bears the original film starring Walter Matthau and Tatum O'Neil. He's a good actor. I'm gonna say the names of a lot of really good actors, and then we're gonna talk about the movie.

Kyle Gollner as Quentin, red state, scream 5 and Smile. Oh, he's in red state. Rooney Mara as Nancy Holbrook for whatever reason, instead of Thompson like in the original. The Social Network, The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo, and Carol. Thomas Decker as Jesse.

Star Trek Generation's Village of the Damned, the John Carpenter remake. And a movie called Kaboom. If we had called Keith from Parks and Rec, could he have Kaboomed this problem? I'm Duke Kaboom. Or could we have gotten Keanu Reeves to Duke Kaboom us through this thing?

Yes. I Canada. I know Keanu. You didn't ask. I should have.

And I know that you know him. You know Keanu personally? I sat in a restaurant in an alleyway and he was, 2 tables over. Kind of like a tight alleyway. Yeah.

It was a small alley. Yeah. Were there a lot of pipes? A lot of steamy That boiler room. There was a lot of steam.

Yeah. Real steamy. I'm not sure why we got a boiler room because there wasn't a boiler never mind. Yep. We're not there yet.

Yeah. I know. Katie Cassidy played Chris, When A Stranger Calls, the remake. Black Christmas, the remake. And click, Connie Britton.

Quick question. I've heard that Black Christmas, the original, is typically heralded as the original slasher. I don't know what year that came out. I don't know, ultimately, if, like, House on the Left and certain movies are considered quote unquote slashers. But Black Christmas is a fucking good movie.

Yeah. The original. I haven't seen the remake. I haven't either. Not at Matt's Alley's.

He's like, guys, come on. Don't know what you're talking about. Too spookies. But I'm so happy to be here. We're so happy to have you.

Happy to have you. As well as, yay, Connie Britton as doctor Gwen Holbrook, American Ultra bombshell, and a movie called Breaking. And Friday Night Lights. And Clancy Brown returns. Clancy Brown.

As Alan, the principal. He's not a principal. He's a principal. Look, I don't wanna be your principal. I wanna be your principal.

Of pal. That's exactly what he did. He turns the chair around backwards. He can talk to me anytime. That's like freaks and geeks.

Does don't you think so? Yeah. It's it's been a while. It's been a while. I've Too long.

I watched that movie I watched that show recently again and it's so good. It's so good. Clancy Brown was the Kurgan. In Highlander, he was in Starship Troopers and the Shawshank Redemption. Awards and nominations, in 2011, it was the dipshit's choice award for favorite horror film or choice award.

Wait, seriously? Interchangeable. I was wondering what was gonna happen when you said awards. It was the highest grossing horror film of 2010 and I think that tells you why it probably won that dumb fucking award. Wow, Paul.

Fun facts. Are they fun? I'm trying to can I have fun time? This is fun. It's fun.

Are you having fun yet? Are you having a good time? Oh, you are my dad. I am your We're at Disneyland trying to have a good attitude. No.

We're driving back from the kingdom. We're stuck in traffic. We just lost. We just we just got You're driving back to your house in Bothell? Yeah.

You only had to go on Little Mermaid 9 times. We're gonna go to It's A Small World, and then we'll go home. This is my day. I've had too much coffee and not enough beer. This is my special day.

Jackie Rohele was always the producer's and studio's preference to play Freddy Krueger, but also Steve Buscemi and Billy Bob Thornton were in mind. Buscemi. Woah. Robert England, the original actor to play Freddy, approved of the casting and said the torch has been well passed. Mhmm.

He has been quoted as not being a fan of the movie in the end. Fair. Heather Langenkamp, the original actress to play the original Nancy in the original film, was approached for a cameo but declined. John Saxon, Nancy's father in the original film and the original, she her dad and mom were divorced but were both, you know, co parenting. They were trying as their kid was being attacked by, this monster.

It's, it was a good little element of tension that wasn't in this movie. True. For they copied everything else. There's a lot of good element. I mean, tension and stakes weren't really involved.

This is more about negligent parenting. That everyone's like a single parent that's like But also like we'll figure it out. The team is here. Also just lying to your children. For like no real reason.

Yeah. Well, they it's like they I'm gonna try to stay away from talking about franchise lore or whatever. They seem to, like, have this understanding if they don't talk about the trauma or the thing that the kids went through, that it doesn't exist. It was 2010. We didn't know better.

We hadn't come this far. Come on. John Saxon, who played Nancy's father in the in the original, was also approached but claimed to have a scheduling conflict. What that was, no one was entirely sure. Great.

The original cold open of the film showed Freddie passing by succumbing to his burns in a hospital bed, and there was a story line with Freddie truly being innocent of the crimes he was accused of by the children. Ben's looking at me, like, confused and upset. You look like Daniel Jones right now. It's wild. Oh, God bless you.

These these elements as well as others were changed. The ball. How are they winning? 11 snakes? I can't can't I don't understand.

I turned the ball forward. Original storyline was that Freddie was innocent. This chain these changes that happened to elements of the film happened during shooting in limited reshoots and via editing. Great. I hope that makes a lot of things apparent.

In the original movie, he's innocent? No. In in the original Draft? Idea, the original I think it was written in the original. No.

This one. Shot. He there was a version that existed at some point in time where Freddy Krueger was innocent. And it was the principal or whatever or someone that was doing this stuff. Yeah.

That Freddy was essentially just, like, a vengeful spirit, not some sort of collective shared trauma that like, they don't even try to say he could be supernatural. In in this one? In this one. They try to basically say, like, no. You all went through this trauma and the way it's manifested itself is Let's not get okay.

Lord. If yeah. Let's not get Thank you. I appreciate you, Ben, so much, buddy. I wanna hug you right now.

Okay. You give me a Christian side hug. Jackie Earl Haley was contractually obligated for 2 sequels. Yes. Rooney Mara was obligated for one sequel.

The first of these was moving ahead as planned for the 1st few months post this film's released before everything was scrapped and people were released. Because it made so much money, they would have just done it. The critical and fan crowd related response was overwhelmingly negative. Wow. Right.

But money. Sure. But also That's never stopped people before. I would not have come back to see a movie with the I need time. This is gonna take time.

You were traumatized. Of healing. You would dream about you would have nightmares about this. There's a level of PTSD involved. There is a level.

Rooney Mara nearly quit acting as a result of being cast in and working on this film. A direct quote, if this is what my opportunities will look like, I'm not interested in this. Good lord. Wes Craven, the writer creator of the Nightmare on Elm Street films was never approached about this movie in any capacity. Oh, I know.

In an interview with IGN, Craven, when asked about the remake said, it's really painful to think about it. The film of mine I probably love the most. I'm just sad. Writer Eric Heisserer said he saw very little of his contribution in the film to the estimated 4, possibly 5 script hybrid that was made. Samuel Bayer turned down directing this film twice as well as most of the other Platinum Dune reboots at different times.

Michael Bay wrote him a personal letter that ended up winning him over. There are many homages and Easter eggs in this film to the original series including not limited to, there's a character named Jesse in Nightmare on Elm Street 2. Matt, as you probably know. Chris, the character refers to, Tina or Christina from 1 or Chris from 3 and 4. Chris' jersey number 10 matches Johnny Depp's in part 1.

Chris' death scene in the room that so met the pool scene is from 5. There are so many things that are just lifted from the original series. There's just yeah. So if I were to ask the 2 of you working as a team Mhmm. What is the log line to this movie?

Working as a team. You can work as a team. Okay. Yeah. Good.

Good. Good. I like it. They're not doing anything. Yeah.

Well, they can hear that. Okay. So I'm cure I I do wonder though. Do you have an hour and 36 minutes to kill? They don't mention There's space in the theater.

They don't mention it's a reboot in the log line, I would imagine. So No. It would say something along the lines of, like, Freddy Krueger or let's see. So, like, it would be, like, kids are sharing a collective traumatic dream That's catchy so far. Of a of a of a monster with a burnt face by the name of Freddy Krueger Who was, accused of Sure.

Of being, naughty towards the kids when they were younger. Naughty. But we don't know for sure yet if it's true. I mean, that's basically it. Like, only to discover that Freddie is killing them kill killing them in their dreams.

Yeah. I mean, let me put a little bow around it. I'm gonna step in. I'm gonna step in. Was that Alright.

Was that probably longer? Pretty close. It's pretty close. A little bit longer than A tiny bit. Word or 2.

Give it to us, dad. The specter of a disfigured man haunts the children of the parents who murdered him stalking and killing them in their dreams. Alright, Todd. You are so close. I was supposed to be groundskeeper, Willy, there.

Oh, because he's so a groundskeeper. That is literally one of the best one of the best tree house of horrors. It is really, really, really good. Is it really good? Maybe you'll be reincarnated to someone who could stay awake for 5 seconds.

5 minutes, I think Lisa says, but that's okay. This episode is brought to you all month long. Spoo. Spooky season. We're gonna come back with everybody's ratings post current viewing.

We know what Matt's is. We don't know mine. We don't know Ben's. And now that Matt's read some facts, I saw some faces. Wait.

I wanna get another current rating from you. God. Don't worry. You passed. You got f plus.

I knew what happened was confusing, so I was reex Everything that has happened is confusing. That's have you ever hung out with Tom? Well, that is now Nope. Subtitle of this episode. I don't know.

I'm confused. Everything that's happening is confusing. We'll be right back. Will we? I'm confused.

Whoopie. This episode is brought to you by the review review debate debate, which is brought to you by the review review spooky season, which is brought to you by The Review Review. In the singular corner, Ben and returning guest Sanji from our Atlantis The Lost Empire episode. In the plural corner, Paul and returning guest, Andre Marlene, from our mystery men episode. Which of these duos can convince the other that their xenomorph is the moistest?

Ckmoisttowellets presents Alien v Aliens. This October, the debate debate is on for the review review spooky season. In space, no one will hear you laugh. You will though. Please laugh.

Favorite Christmas movie? What the fuck? It's way up there. What the fuck? Eyes Wide Shut is great.

I love, like, the the Christmas holiday? I mean, yeah. The look of it, the lights, the the fragility of Fucking humanity. You wake up early in the morning and excitement. And how, like, the holidays just, like, amplifies all that shit.

It's a fucking intense ass movie. I like that story. Scrooge has so much going for it, but the best element? Oh, almost always. I agree.

And I think we get 1 or both of the Murray brothers. I think we could Do we get all 3 or do we get just the younger? No. I Do we get Brian? I think we're just 2.

Yeah. I don't think we get Brian. Definitely get do we get 2 or 3 in in Groundhog Day? Groundhog Day, we might get all of them. Welcome back to the Murray podcast, everybody.

We're talking about broken flowers today. My situation anyway, fucking broken flowers anyway. Here we are. Yeah. We're back.

Wild sentence, you know what I said. Yeah. Thank you to spoopy season for sponsoring this episode. Thank you so much, spoopy season. I'm sorry to make it shitty season.

Paul did make it shitty. I made it stupid season, and I apologize. Well, actually, you don't know my rankings. I know I know, but I know what mine is, and I know what I saw, and I know what happened. I'm sorry.

Wow. That's where you are. I'm assuming that's where you went. Pretty close. Wouldn't that be wild?

Somewhere close. You're like, there's a dumpster fire. In the multiverse, somewhere in time, Paul, you love this movie. Almost assuredly. I was so sad for so long.

I mean, but now I feel brand new. So you just watched this movie? Yeah. I'm taking back Sunday. It was a bad Sunday, but I'm ready to take it down.

I was love that movie. What was your ranking after? Woah. Yellow card. It's time for my ranking.

I'm just naming emo bands as much as I can. Could everyone just be really good, Charlotte? Is there any chance we can save the day? Your guys' brains work like Ataris. Let's just move on.

You're right. No. So what you wanna know mine first? Oh, wait. Hold on.

Since I pick the movie? Oh, sorry. I thought that was the postal service. I thought the postal service was here. Okay.

You win. We're done. Oh, sorry. That's it. We're in LA.

It wasn't the snow patrol. I knew that. Alright. We're leaving it alone. Done.

You're done, Matt? I was just gonna talk about Chris Graba for a second. What do you have to confess to me? What do you confess to me? You came over once and your hair is everywhere.

The drain doesn't work, you shitbag. Hate you. And then we screamed. You'll never be vindicated at the in this house. Never.

Now you get out. The audio track is screaming at us. That's my fault. I'm a very loud human. I need to work on that.

So in terms of this I saw them in Hollywood on Halloween when I was in, like, 9th grade. Dashboard? Yeah. I saw Dashboard too in Seattle at Bumper Shoot at, like, 10 AM. Yeah.

Oh, that's a weird time to cry. I don't know if you remember Bumper Shoot, but they used to do headliners in the morning. They did. Both they do headliners in the morning and headliners at night. You just have to pull people in in the morning.

Yeah. And I was one of those 24 year old kids that was, like Crying at 10 AM. Yeah. I was like, high off of Percocet and Adderall, you know. Woah.

What a ride. You know? And coffee almost assuredly. Yeah. That's legal though.

Meeting random people. Fun. Making out with randos. Fun. Yeah.

Sounds like a good time. Good old 20 something year old Ben. Paul, tell me about this movie. I got I did pick the movie. I will go first.

The I'm only gonna have enough mascara in the plumper to do to just do one round this time. It's a one star film after my most recent viewing. I don't I don't like the way it's put together. Way it looks. In some of what I've said about some other films, I'll say about this film.

Like, I go over some of the names and I just feel like the sum of the parts. I I personally think the final product should be, something much more than what it feels to me on the surface pre this conversation. I feel like, I have, again, no not as much of a connection to the original franchise. And going into it, I had such low, low, low, low expectations. I was like, this is gonna be garbage.

I did too. And you know what? It was really bad. It's really, really bad. I was hoping that's what you were doing just now.

Keep going. Be fucking with me. I actually thought about fucking with you longer, but I I don't think I could do it. I just it felt like a CW show. Yeah.

But, like, but, like, rated r for no reason. The first 20 minutes, you're like, who the fuck wrote the script? Who the fuck wrote the script also? Like, how are these so bad. How are these 27, 28 year olds high schoolers?

Like, I have so many questions about I mean, again, I think from every point of view, I felt like this was a failure. And I would give it it's not 5 claws. It's not 4 claws. It's not 3. It's not even 2 claws.

It is just 1. It's not 2. It's just 1 single claw scraping along the Which claw is it? Is it making sparks at least? It's that claw, Matt.

It's just one middle claw. That claw. Leading to you. My favorite line in the movie is the back and forth when they're sitting and, like before the first character dies. And he goes, my dreams are real.

And she goes, your dreams aren't real. My dreams are real. Back and forth. These dreams I'm having, they're real. These dreams You're having are real.

Are real. Now, I could have stopped the movie there. And to be fair, I do think No. You cut it, Dax. It gets a little bit better.

I do think that it picks up a little steam. I actually thought there were a couple okay parts of this movie. Yeah. We will get to that. There's some pretty bad parts.

And I think there are some maybe some positive things that happened because of the movie maybe. Like, hey, did it make any more of them? Did it make any more of them? Yeah. The Kraven estate is holding the rights very precious.

Rachel made an interesting point. She goes because I like, after that I started kind of laughing at it. She was like, this these are the movies though that kind of start careers They can. In some ways. You get on board and you go, oh, this is the remake of the thing thing and this is gonna be a big deal.

And it might be really horrible, but often it turns What had like the next thing to murder Mara Den before this? Not much of anything. And Dragon Tattoo was the next year. Well, I'm like, she is the movie is not well Lit? She's shot?

The movie is not accurate, though. She's good in it. Yeah. Everyone's doing trying to do good work in a shit script. The the main problem Can't even there's always so much you can do.

I mean, Jackie Earle Haley is doing the best, but but he can't he can't he can't step up to the plate. It's so the film is so unevenly edited. It's so clear that there were multiple versions or multiple story lines and they just used takes that were from other Yeah. Approaches or thoughts. Where are you landing in your ranking?

1.75. So you're gonna fall already just like Yeah. I mean just already here. Yeah. I had a really fun time watching the movie.

Well, it's okay to like a bad movie. Yeah. But I did not have a fun time. I had a pretty bad time. Did you have a wife who was jumping up and down and running around trying not to watch it while you were trying to watch it?

Because that's pretty fun. Now, see, what my wife does is exactly what she did when you came over to watch football which is she flexed on I'm fucking out of here. Yeah. I mean, our our setup doesn't really work like that. Like, she'd be, like She's just there.

Like, what are you doing in this room? Like, nothing. I'm just sitting here. You're not in our wine room. Alright.

Well, you can't come in here because I'm watching a scary movie, so you just stay in there. But you stay in there. You didn't have, like you didn't love the movie, but you had a good enough time. Like, you liked it better than us. Yeah.

But I have no attachment to it. Right. Which helps. Like, I just wanna press And I was having a little vacation watching a movie in the middle of the day. Wait.

You're a you're a little Ferris Bueller. I might as well pitch a little tent in the living room. That's what you get when you have a That's what you get when you have a boner. Yeah. That's Friday 13th.

I don't know what you're talking about. Pitch a tent. When you're when you're foul I'm there in a real tent. You never heard that But hold on. But hold on.

You've never heard that phrase? Yeah. I have. But that's not what I was talking about. Well, it sounded like that.

Sorry. I could have pitched a tent in the living room. Ben, well, that's true when you watch a horror movie cuddled up next to your lady. Wait. A horror or a Stop making this horny.

I'm warning you. Now, I need you to tell me the sign of the big thing. Drink water. Are you talking about a phallus engorged with blood? Is that what you're talking about, Ben?

I'll cut off your dick, bitch. God. He also, like, never says bitch in this movie. I just get a text, Rachel. I apologize for that now.

Real quick, I wanna mention that Matt, part of the we had discussed this a little bit. And part of the reason why I felt like Matt was such a kind of great litmus test for this is he has no attachment to the original movies at all. And I want you to understand that, listener, like, if you're coming into this completely green, not only should you be listening to Matt, because you're gonna have a better time. But, also, if this is, like, a new thing to you, this was a first time journey for Matt. I also think maybe we should start doing this.

But if you do wanna watch this movie, I don't know why you do. But if you do, it is streaming on Max. So maybe we should start sharing just for people to be like How you can watch it. How you can watch it. We were able to watch it on Max.

Matt watched it. I was able to pay for it on Vudu, but invoices can always go to review, review. Wait. Hold on. Our Instagram is review x 2 podcast.

That's where your invoice is. That's where your invoice can go. Sorry. That's where your invoice can go. Sorry.

Message me at big time bopper. I will give you Paul's actual address where you can send invoices. So you can send him asbestos. No professional is sending So you can send him an invoice to an Instagram account. 2.

So this this movie starts with New Line Cinema. Did you go to a Bad School? Bad School. Bad School. Bad School.

That's the first like, it's like the New Line logo. And we see this creepy school. And it says literally bad school in sequence and I'm like bad movies. I don't think I quite started paying attention yet. That's all I'm saying.

It's doing like what Sinister does with like the it's trying to like 7. Trying to be creepy and it's fine, I guess. Is it? For an intro. It's not, but it's It's long as shit.

It's the most cliche. It's the longest part of the movie. And it's and it and it's not interesting. It's just it's doing again, like, I think we'll get back to this exact same topic again and again, but it's just cliche. You almost have a feeling that if you watch the intro, it's gonna ruin it's gonna, like, spill the beans a little bit.

Yeah. See, the so that first very, very first scene is we're coming into the diner. It's all, like, green and red. So much of this movie, they make it so clear you're in the dream world. Oh, yeah.

And that's some of the beauty of some of the older ones is you truly don't know until it's kind of happening. And it kinda removes some of the fun. I do like that Kellan Lutz, I guess, decided to stay up for the better part of 3 days for this little part he had as Dean, which he's fine in. It's not Kellen Lutz as Kellen Lutz in 30 Rock, Lutz' nephew Lutz. That's his best work.

I mean, I would like to say to him, try acting, my boy. I mean Matt loves it. Literally. What are you doing, dude? Just fucking He's pretty terrible.

I mean, it's Also, like, you don't you don't need to stay up for 3 days to pretend like you haven't slept. I wanna make it very clear. It's not his fault. He couldn't act. He'd been up for 3 days.

He just went on 3 Twilight sets. That's true. He was on Twilight. I can't remember the words. I'm so tired.

It's a real dream. His best role is when he's playing a caricature of himself on a comedy show. In this movie, it's literally like the dialogue doesn't help, but like good shit. Like, oh, man. Meet him and he's clearly, like, not sleeping, and then we see we meet Rudy Mara.

She's a fifties waitress at this Twin Peaks diner, and Yeah. She is serving these other 4 the fucking Good Charlotte band, whoever's sitting at the sitting there with their eyeliner and their beanies. Also, that is how I dressed in high school. Yeah. Fallout.

In case anyone's curious, I did wear eyeliner and black beanies. Fallout was a I never did eyeliner, but appreciate it. Yeah. Yeah. I definitely had black beanie.

Nice. You know, you meet they do the similar thing to the original movie, but, like, you meet the all the main characters here are are 4 main players. Question for you. Are their names the same as they are in the original? So Nancy's first name is the same.

There is no Jesse is a character named Rod in the original, and Chris is Tina in the original, which Chris could be Christina. Is Quentin the one the the the final boy? The final guy? He's Kyle Gollner. Yeah.

He's the like, the quote unquote boy friend. Which becomes her boyfriend because they kiss once? Immediately. Yeah. Yeah.

You know, like, we're gonna get to it. I'm gonna hold on to that nugget. Don't let me forget. But they they introduce all the main players and they make you feel or, you know, Nancy and Quintin or it feels like it's gonna be Nancy and Quintin, but it also feels like Jesse and Chris. And the tone already feels, like, rough.

It feels like a CW show. Like, right from the beginning. Like the stupid Superman show. Which which one? Superman?

Which one? On CW. Smallville? Smallville. Yeah.

No. I mean, every CW show feels the same. They largely do. Even the camera moves, a lot of the time in this movie, like, feel like a game show or a Canadian, like, hour long while lumping those together. But, like, they do feel similar in some of the camera movies.

Because Drew Carey's Canadian. But Drew Carey's lots of luxuries. A saint though. Sorry. A saint.

No. You're fine. No. I shouldn't have said that. No.

He has a name at all. He has a name. But truly, that guy spent, like, over a half a $1,000,000 on Facebook. And it could have been more than that, to be honest. Did you see what he said when they when they asked him why?

Why not? And he was, like, if it wasn't for all the writers on my show, I wouldn't have all those 1,000,000 to spend. Yeah. Good. I told Rachel when she was telling me about it, I was like, I feel like if there's someone who appreciates the writers, it has to be him.

Like, of any actor. Like, I'm sure there's a lot of people who do, but he like, for what he does Yeah. It is about the writing a 100%. And it and he has so much money. Because he's also an improviser by heart.

So, like yeah. Like, he just like, it makes so much sense. Yeah. So this dude died. He kills himself.

He Does he? Well, he goes in the train. Does he? We meet we we don't fully see Freddy until he, like the kills aren't even good in this movie. No.

I mean, Dean, like That's the thing. It's like the kills should be bad ass. The sound effect of, like, Dean, like, driving the knife through his throat where you can hear it, like, cutting bone or whatever is, like, kind of effective. It's kinda rough. It's visceral.

Wasn't scared. Also, it's like, this is dumb. And for me, part of it is, like, why, who, how, what was the thought of proving of of of approving Freddie's look? The look does not work. Very clearly to me reads as attempt to be grounded more in sort of like a in sort of an attempt to be grounded more in like, oh, but this isn't what a burn victim looks like.

This is what a burn victim looks like. That they actually did work from actual photos and renders and stuff of actual burn that doesn't If you tried to tone it down But that but that to me doesn't read as monster. Do you know what I mean? No. Like, you're you're you're basically taking as a victim.

But you're taking the wrong thing away from the source material, in my opinion. You're removing the fantasy element, and you're make you're trying to be, like, but what if we just ground it Agree if it's real. Yeah. That's exactly so a huge part of the inspiration for this movie is The Dark Knight. Sure.

It is referenced a 1000 times in the production notes, and they even took some of the CG artists to face. I was gonna reference Nolan in that because he does do that with the bat, but he does it successfully. Yes. And he does it because he's a good because he's working off a good script. Like Well, and he understands the spirit of what he's supposed to be doing.

Exactly. And it's an he's doing an adaptation of a comic book. Right? Like, this is an adaptation of a preexisting movie. Well, and this is the thing about, like let's talk about, like, these Titan slasher films or whatever.

Right? Like, so Freddie, Michael, Jason. So Michael and Jason, like, both, as far as we know, through the first several movies, maybe never have died or what have you. And then this weird spiritual supernatural element starts to come through as they're affected kind of by Nightmare on Elm Street. I feel that's also by necessity because if the franchises are gonna continue, they need to they need to justify in some way why these characters are still impossible to kill.

That's kind of the beauty of the Friday from 2009 as well as the more recent Halloween reboots is that it's like, no, these are just like evil or angry or these are fucked up people and the in the nightmare element, like, no, make it supernatural. This doesn't make any logical sense. Let it be silly. Yeah. Like This this is a story about people getting killed in their dreams.

You have to make it supernatural. By the way, like, I was pretty confused most of the time between how is he going back back and forth. That again, we're gonna get bogged down by logic in this movie because it rough. Because it does not it doesn't set the soft it doesn't stop set the boundaries at all. No soft science even at all, like, nothing?

No attempt. And the the it's even, like, weird. We go to a funeral for Dean and everybody's there, even, like, the minor players are kind of their parents and stuff like that. And Chris sees some photos of, like, oh, we all knew each other when we were herself as she sees herself as a child there. And she's like, is she sleeping I don't know.

In that moment? But, like Is she daydreaming? Like, what is happening at a funeral? Who hasn't fallen asleep at a funeral? I never have weird things.

What? Just kidding. I never have. What emo song what emo song is about a funeral? Now I'm Oh, fighting for a funeral, death at a funeral?

So I don't know. That's a movie. Fighting for a funeral. I said that. It'll come to me.

Is it Wedding and a Funeral? Panic of the Disc? No. Probably. Well, there's a band with Funeral in it.

That's what I'm trying to think of is the name of the band. Like Flight of the Funeral. I don't know. That's not it. But they it's even at the yeah.

At the funeral, when Clancy Brown is like, let's talk about That's the name of the Save the Day song. Yeah. At your funeral. There oh, good. We got one.

Will become the anthem of No. That's no. No. That song is called the anthem. Oh, well.

Anthem. Anyways Yeah. No. I at the funeral I could sing the rest of the song if you wanted. Okay.

Hold on. Let me pause the recording. Nope. Let it record. No.

But even Clancy Brown is like, let's go talk to him. Hey, what's going on? Hey, good to see you. We got yeah. We gotta go there.

They never let anything breathe. Nothing in terms of the dialogue No. It's like nothing. Nothing lands. Oh, blah blah.

The the this is clearly this is clearly a script that has just been, like, stripped of any sort of nuance. Scripts? Yeah. Yeah. Sometimes it's shocking.

Yeah. It's like scene over, next and here it's like, what does it It's so jarring. Yeah. Yeah. The what this was just to deliver information.

That scene literally was just about information. It wasn't about anything else. It was just like, here's some information. And you're like, okay. These people know each other and that, like, they have a history.

Okay. So we're at the funeral. She sees herself as a child and she learns is it is it her that learns? She's she's because what happens is we start going into each person who connects with the person who died is starting to have Freddie in their dream, and, like, it keeps, like it's like a domino effect. And Right.

Right? So she's the next one to die. Right? Her his his girlfriend quote unquote? So yeah.

The yeah. The Chris ends up, like, dreaming several times, like, through this because we're on this journey with Chris for, like, a little while. Nancy has told Chris at the funeral as well as Jesse. That whole interaction at the end of the funeral Yeah. Is so confusing and discombobulate like, so quick.

It's just like, what just happened? Because both of the boys basically wanna be naysayers through the movie. Like, fuck this. This isn't happening. It's not possible.

But also, like, they it keeps being presented to them and they know you're experiencing the same thing, but they wanna keep denying it. Yeah. Right? Yeah. And that's what's happening at the Which is that?

Is that what's supposed to happen? Because he only comes through if you actually believe him. Believe. Yes. Like, that's what the movie posits.

Yeah. The movie posits that you have to be afraid of him and believe that it's real in his in your dream. Right? Yeah. I think so.

And that's something that the original does, but also, like, that doesn't really seem to work. It also okay. So I feel like this movie But it it it rests so He really threw up. He he vomited. It's blood.

Oh. He's now flying around the room. Paul is dead. Paul's dead. Take me away, Billy, you bitch.

Now we will continue on in your name. I'm here. Billy Zane's here. Billy Zane's here. I'm a cool guy.

Do you play the drums? Do you want to? I forgot what I was about to say. No. No.

I think I was gonna say I feel like the movie rests so horribly on its laurels to the point where it's not even trying to do anything new or tell or or, like, you know, it's it's it's really depending on you have seen the original for you to, like, actually know what's happening. Well, and that's the thing. It's, like, I almost feel like part of the reason why, Matt, you were talking about, like, I enjoy this as a bad movie or obviously enjoyed it more, is part part of the issue with me, Ben, as you're saying, is it just repeats a lot of beats and imagery and things, like, really fucking crappily. And in in, like, the 80 we transitioned to, you know, Nancy's at home and she's, like, falling asleep and we get CG of Freddy's, like, silhouette coming through a wall and it looks That looks so bad. Garbage.

That was like And in the original movie Mummy Mummy Returns level It's awful CG. Right. Awful. And in the original, which was made in the eighties, they did that with a piece of spandex and it looks incredible. It's really unsettling.

Effects over It's lit in a way that you're like, holy shit. How did they what did they oh my god. And they even kind of repeat a lot of the beats where Chris is kind of Tina like in the original. Chris is kind of the main character and at some point, you know, her boyfriend shows up while her mom's out of town. Her single mom is like, gotta go.

I guess single mom? But Maybe the dad works long term out of town and she only most Never sleeps. Out of town. Maybe. Maybe she's a whore.

Maybe. She works for the airlines. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Good.

God. Sorry. He's a stew. Oh, sorry. Sex worker.

Sorry. My bad. For Alaska Airlines. Skyhorn. Skyhorn.

Excuse me, sir. Skyhorn. Skyhorn. Men can be Skyhorn too. Sir, excuse me.

Would you like to join the Mile High Club, miss? Mile High Club? Oh, do I fill that out for you? Would you like to come both of you? Also never drink the water out of the bathroom in an airplane.

No. They don't drink the blue water. Has anyone ever done that? They've definitely brushed their teeth in there. Oh, god.

That's horrifying for a lot of reasons. If you just spit, you don't you know. But you still you put it in your mouth. No. It's it's even in Oh.

And they bring a bottle Yeah. Yeah. You Bring a bottle. Yeah. Good.

Don't don't do it. That's disgusting. Yeah. That's poop water. Brought to you by Poop water.

Sanitary season here on the review review. Don't call Shannon. Be sanitary. I truly did. No.

But Chris is having all these dreams and we're mostly on the journey with her. Right? And we finally, like, fully meet Freddie, and she even this thing, it's like she's at home. Mom's out of town. She's with, old boy Jesse, and it's a noise that she wakes up in her dream and has to go check it out and Freddy kills a dog.

And that's immediately where you're like, well, I'm not on board with this guy. Yeah. Like, don't don't try to get me on board with this guy. Kill a dog and kill you. This guy.

Yeah. And then they repeat a thing repeat a thing again from the original movie where they built a set that they could spin around, like, physical, actual, like, human people In her In 84. Yeah. No. But this is happening in her, a house?

Yeah. And in and in this in the current one, they both happened in her house. But in 84, the way they achieved the effect where she's getting thrown around the room and bleeding and screaming Uh-huh. It's all achieved practically and it's really impressive still, like, to this day. Is the dog in the original?

There is a noise that gets her up to go outside. It's not They just chose the dog. Because the dog automatically just breaks the whole concept. Yeah. How does the dog really dies.

How does he kill the dog? Is the dog dead? Or is They never explained. Or is that a dream? Or is she dreaming the dog's dead?

Well, like, but if the dog is dead in the dream anyway, like, isn't it dead in real life? What if it's the dream within the dream? Oh, god. And that's the thing is she wakes up and washes her face off and goes to bed. Jesse is now Freddie, and she gets killed.

And Jesse is immediately, of course, because he was there and watched it happen, suspected for Well, he does he does the best thing possible, which is just run away. Run and scream covered in blood. Covered in blood. I've done that Went everyone so many times. Matt, go on, Ben.

Don't sneak for a bit. Okay. Yeah. Great. So what I do every single time that I am covered in blood, I run as fast as I can.

But for some reason, this kid is really out of shape. He is huffing and puffing Yeah. Half of a block down the road. It's true. Also consider what he just went through.

He's also defending him. I've gone through that three times. I can run 6 miles. Emo kids are not very adrenaline. Emo kids are not very athletic.

That's a good point. So So either way, they grabbed Donnie Darko like 5 feet away from the house. Like, no problem. I like it. Wait a minute.

Stop. I like that someone just yells like, I see you. I'm calling the party. It's so good. It's like one of the better I went I literally ducks behind the tree.

I go I remember going, because, like, you're you didn't even choose to hide your you just ran down the sidewalk and then sat No. On the sidewalk. And so I was, like, I can see you. I am going to call the police. Because I know what happened.

Yeah. But, also, like, you're covered in blood. You're running from a police car to a farm door. Someone's house. Like Jumps into the window.

Nancy's house. Out the window But then goes back to his motorcycle. He's like, oh, no. The police are here. Yeah.

But, like, when he What did you think was gonna happen? He breaks into Nancy's house and she's like, oh my god. Jesse, what are you doing here? And he's like, shut up. Be quiet, you stupid bitch.

And you're like, you're the like, you're freaking yelling. I do have to mention because because I'm a huge I'm a huge I'm a huge Stranger Things fan because I'm under It's fun. But I really like this last season of Stranger Things, and it takes a lot from, Nightmare on Elm Street. Sure. Vecna in particular is very much a Freddy Krueger and and Robert Englund makes a cameo.

Awesome. I I love Robert Englund. Yeah. I think, man, it's so hard to Now that you've said that, 5 stars. Great movie.

Oh, shit. Woah. I didn't realize Okay. We're gonna keep talking. We're gonna bring this down.

This is my mission Yeah. In this one. It is fun, the concept, of the micronaps. Like, Jesse is in prison. He's in holding, and he has been awake for so long, he kind of starts to fall asleep or fully finally does and Freddy gets him pregnant.

I will I will say there was a time earlier this summer that I was having issues with sleeping. Yeah. I was experiencing insomnia. And so it was you do it's almost like you enter another another dimension. It's really wild.

It's a it it it's yeah. I mean, it's like you're on a substance. It's like something is wrong something is happening. I'm gonna ask a personal question. Sure.

Did you start getting hallucinations or visions or things in your peripheral? Because that's the thing that it did to me that really fucked with me. I started having lapse of memory. Yeah. Like, like, complete lapses of memory where so, like, I would leave a place and then I would say something to Jess, and she'd be like, well, we just did that.

We just said that. You and I'd be like, we did what? That lasted for maybe, like, a month. That's still a long time. Yeah.

It was not fun. Yeah. No. I was like watching this movie over and over and over and over and over. There are times that movies explain too much where you're like, why are you explaining this?

We know this. Yeah. I didn't actually mind that part. When they're reading about sleep deprivation Oh, yeah. Maybe it's Kinda how they got to it was a little weird, but I didn't actually mind it.

I think the real problem that I have with sort of, like, the the the, attempt to make this more of, like, a mystery at times where they're, like Right. Investigating a mystery is that we already know if you've You've done what? You already kinda know what's coming. Well, and and, like, this is, like, the thing that, like, you keep thinking it's really weird that this movie kind of floats that it's like it's safer if you don't know. Like it's better if you just don't know.

Like ignorance is bliss. Like this this trauma, if you don't deal with it Yeah. You don't have to let it, like, destroy or murder you. Wait. Is this are you saying this as nineties dad?

Which a 100%, that's what you're supposed to do. Then yes, I am. Push it down, son. Push it down. Don't tell your mother about this.

Yeah. Exactly. The kid. Have a beer, 8 year old. Nancy Nancy and fucking doctor Nguyen.

Fucking football. From the goddamn throw it over those goddamn mountains. They play connections and, like, it's like, no, Freddie was bad. He Wait. Connects?

They play connections Oh. Where it's like, oh, no. You were a little kid. That's how you knew a lot of these people when you were in preschool with them. And there was a gardener named Freddie and he was a bad guy.

Fred. Fred Krueger. Yep. But here's the question that I had, and I and I feel like it's incredibly problematic, which is that they jumped to this conclusion that they were kids and they lied. The the kids jumped to that own conclusion themselves.

Right. The parents jumped to the conclusion that the that the kids are telling the truth. 100% because they are. But, like Which one is yeah. But but to me, I'm like, why why did these kids immediately think we were lying?

You know what I think it was? It feels very victim blame y in a strange way. I think the producers and or the director which way they were gonna go. We're like, okay. Look, we already kinda shot this one way, and now we're going another way.

And we think, like, this mystery or, like, the twist that we're adding here is really good. The the twist is not the twist. The twist is not it's not the twist. But the twist is that twist. He is evil.

And that's the thing is, like, I but, yeah, he killed a dog and, like, I'm already the only they try to kinda get you on board with Freddie when he's being chased by the parents in the vision Yeah. That Quentin has. As someone who doesn't know the story, I was believing it. That he was like, leave me alone. I did not do this.

Yeah. I was like I was like, oh, he He's good. I was like, oh, this is a tragic story. Yes. So the question though so we watch yeah.

We're in Quentin's dream and he's watching somehow watching I wish I don't understand that part. Yes. Because Freddie is guiding it, but I I thought it was always supposed to be their dream. And that's the thing I don't get. It's like he's he falls asleep in a pool and goes through it just like in number 5.

Wait. Have we skipped suddenly Oh, we haven't skipped that yet. Okay. No. We'll get to we she was she was in the bathtub like she was early in the original one and that we skipped that.

Why well, this is what I'm talking why do you why do you why do you why why are you gonna sleep in a bathtub? I know you have to have in a horror movie, you have to have a scene with a woman. You know, tell offer, with her knees on? Yeah. And then you have to.

I'm usually to see this contract I have. It's from 1996 and it clearly states, if you look at article 69420, that you do have to have a lady in a bathtub. Is that did the guy who write that, the guy who gets put his hand up between Rooney Mara's legs? Yes. And that's the thing is Like it was supposed to be CGI.

He's like, no, this is the one thing that's gonna be real. Yeah. Yeah. Dude, and in the first one, it's so fucking unsettling. I know.

I remember that. It's very it's very iconic. Yeah. And in the in the current one, it does just feel like it's like you just did this because it was there to do again. Yeah.

There's there's no there's no creative license taken at all. No. The one the couple things that they do is they get rid of Nancy's dad. And instead of Freddie getting off on a technicality, in court, and it's confirmed that he did it for sure Yeah. They just chase him down and Matt and poor folks who've never seen these movies before are left to believe by a very good Jackie O'Haley performance, like, I didn't do it.

I didn't do it. Leave me alone. But also, like, the justification Which that person would potentially do. What else is he gonna do? Go to the police is not why why why?

Well, they said that they didn't want to drag the kids back into court to talk about it in front of all these people and embarrass them again. Right. He didn't want they didn't want the kids to relive it, which which, like, truly, it's like I'm pretty sure the kids wouldn't be brought into court. Most likely. I will say, like, if any of us who have They would have been interviewed in private.

Probably. Yeah. There would be statements that would be read or who knows? Yeah. I don't know what the what how the courts in Ohio work.

I stopped working there. I thought you were a Back in 70 I thought you were a bailiff. I was in 74 through 70 Mary, you worked for Judge Judy on the TV show? Lord. And Yeah.

No. I don't remember working for Judge Judith Sheindlin and picking up her dry cleaning. Wait. The bailiff picks up the dry cleaning? I do whatever she asks.

Wow. He wasn't sure. Not okay. Loves hand massage. He was the errand boy.

Her gavel hand is, man. Assistant to the bailiff. God, Judith. I'm the I mean, miss Sheinland. Don't get in trouble.

Hand. Are you dreaming right now? Wake up, Paul. No. You're having that Judy.

Your reality is you work for Judge Joe Brown. That's just a that was a Reno 911 record. Kenny Ryan. Again. As these kids, these junior sleuths are like on the hunt of like, is Freddie bad?

We have to uncover the mystery of if this guy is bad or not. And they start connecting it. I just don't think that's a mystery. He's like, no. But they try to make it.

But we've already seen him murder people. But that's the thing is, like, is he a vengeful spirit that's murdering people because it's justified? Was he unjustifiably killed? We don't find that out until, like, the end of the movie. It's just And why?

Okay. And why why does he wear a hat? He doesn't he doesn't die. Because in the second original one, he goes, you have the body and I have the brain. It's true.

And then he peels his scalp back and he sees his brain. What's that about? And so now it's been 26 years or whatever. And now he's got a pat on because his brain stickiness. Movie though, we see him, like, the whole thing of him, like, taking off the coat.

He's got the sweater on when he's gardening. Sure. But the hat? Yeah. I don't know where the hat comes from other than he wears it while he gardens.

They do establish that in a couple parts of the movie. But like claws supposed to be a gardening tool? Yeah. No. He remember, he has the, the 3 tong Ben always wants to justify because this is they do try to make this the dark night of Freddy movies.

But he has You have to challenge how they justify But he has the gardening hoe, the the 3 pronged hoe that he's doing this with. Well, and also I think that's what it becomes. At the end of the movie, when they go down to his room, they find claws and he is using those or like I don't think they're really claws. I think they're shears for To guard it. Yeah.

But he's also cutting kids or molesting kids? Yeah. I I I'm gonna go back to okay. All these kids are connected because they went to preschool together and their parents murdered this guy justifiably or unjustifiably. At this point as an audience, we don't know.

Fair. But part of the way that they find out, like, continue on the trail is that Rooney Mara is like, I found a blog post of the guy from Friday 13th last year, who's also in this movie, as I guess, obviously a different character. But in this blog post, he goes flying into the camera and is dead. And that blog post is still there. Is that Johnny Depp's character in the original?

No. It's I forget the name of the character, but maybe it's Glenn. I'm not sure. But he goes flying at the camera and like dies. And it's like, why why is it unavailable online?

Like, was it auto uploaded? And it's, again, it's like challenging the logic, but like, one of the better and the movie does, like, pick up steam at a couple points in the second act, like, where they challenge Clancy Brown a little bit. Yeah. And he has a line where he says, I hope you never find out what it's like when you have your own kids and you completely and utterly fail to protect them. Like, that complete, like, impotence that he must feel as, like, a father or whatever.

Like, that inability. Mhmm. Like, where it's, like, I cannot do the very basic thing of just, like, protecting my my offspring. Is that how you feel as a father? I do.

Sometimes. I had to take I mean, you saw I gave Maggy a claw for a reason. I gave Maggy a claw for a reason. Shall we also talk about the Roman Empire for a little? I don't wanna You gave Maggy a claw or a white claw?

Both. She parties, bro. She does have a party. And then they and then, like, the 2, so Rooney Mara and I don't know. Fucking Good Charlotte.

What was that? I'll call her? They Quentin? They Benji. They decide it's cute.

The lead singer of Good Charlotte is Benji. Benji. Thank you. They hook up or, like, kiss and be like whatever. They're, like, connected now for some reason.

Well, yeah. I mean, like, they go through this whole thing of they have to go to a hospital after Nancy has a dream in a pharmacy. That's one of the better scenes in the movie of, like, I need pills, bro. I need pills. And the pharmacist says no.

There's actually a realness there too. It's nice. Yeah. And she comes in If you're in ADHD or whatever, I feel like you you you can get Adderall pretty much. But I mean he's out of scrippy's for I mean, maybe And he's acting crazy.

Coincidence. Sure. And he's acting nuts. But her coming into the pharmacy, she's having the micronaps and the dream and everything coming off the shelves and shit, that's effective. Like, the visuals there And the cross editing of, Freddie, like, there's like steam from the pipes and Yeah.

And like not It's actually pretty solid. Baby powder. It's very good. Like, there's stuff like that Well, they and they do the logical thing, like, let's get you to the fucking hospital. You're cut.

This is bad. Yeah. We gotta go. And the mom is there, and then fucking April O'Neil shows up as the doctor who's helping. And you know the turtles are there watching.

That is April O'Neil. I was wondering why Probably should've hung out there because the turtles would totally kick his ass. Turtles in a hash out. Turtle power. For a hot second, I thought you meant Megan Fox.

I mean, Michael Bay, Megan Fox. But the the stealing of all the adrenaline too, again, it makes sense. Like, a lot of these moves are logical. He's like, I'm gonna jab myself It does. Adrenaline.

I feel like though you I do not know logical. He's, like, I'm gonna jab myself It does. Adrenaline. I feel like the I don't know how he ended up in that room looking for pills. Oh, I don't remember that.

Wait. Like, he kinda was just there. Is this, like, the fall? Oh, he's in the hallway of the hospital Yeah. And he goes into a nurse's cart and just like jacks adrenaline in a bunch of shit.

No. I remember it. I just it kinda seemed like a like a little bit weird of like It almost seems a little too convenient. Yeah. Like a little bit like, oh, how nice.

Good. Adrenaline. I was falling asleep. Thank God. Yeah.

Like, they normally carry the specific things I need on this nurses' cart. They're a little warm. Every time I'm here, it's specific. Though, because do they think that they can just keep staying awake and not eventually die? I I are they trying to buy time to come up with the plan or what they're gonna do in terms because at this point, they figured out, like, she has gotten a piece of his sweater, a Freddie sweater.

It's like, I can get him out of the dream. Are they buying time to make a plan? Is that the logic? I don't think The movie has nothing. The movie has none.

No. I think there is no logic. I think there is if I fall asleep, I die. If I don't fall asleep, I won't die right this second. I'm not sure there was more logic.

The movie proposes and I'm skipping ahead here, but they go to the cave We're toward the end. Okay. They go to the cave and they're very they're very sleepy babies. And they need to sleep, eventually. Yep.

And well and and by the way, he's fucking real. And they discover he's real and Nobody could find his room. The cave is a and also, did they just, like, decide to close they were, like, oh, no. These these kids aren't going to this preschool anymore. We should just close it.

Yeah. They said gardener disappeared. We should close the next Nobody yeah. Nobody investigated. And it's just like a chalkboard in front of, like, an old It's not very well known.

Dorm. No. It's not. It's a pedo cave. Yeah.

And and, like, that's how we find out he did all that shit because, like, they're looking through his room and the boy, mascara boy finds Naked. One of the everybody. Naked photos of her and he's like, there are pictures of you and she's like, oh shit. And he's like, wanna make out? And she's like, do you wanna make out?

And she's like, yeah. But she says, let me see them and she he like says no. And I'm like, bro, they are her. Yeah. And she's a child at the But it might be I know he's trying to be it might be very awful.

He's trying to be decent But but also so but this this this then starts to propose that they had a somewhat of a plan, which was to pull Freddie into their reality somehow. And I guess, like, doing it from the preschool is the move for some reason? Well, they kept saying that he is trying to get us to go here. Right. And they thought that it was going to Here's what the movie's really about.

They thought that it was going to prove that he was innocent. And he knew that they were gonna find out he was guilty and then eventually remember everything. Because Freddy says to you while he has her captive, you remember everything now, don't you? But I feel like the what the movie Yeah. I mean, the movie lacks a lot.

But one of the things the movie lacks, which I think could have added some, like, fun and suspense is, like, going back to Stranger Things. In the first Stranger Things, Eleven knows she's the one like, they they use Eleven as bait to bring the, the Vecna? No. This is the 1st season. Oh, shit.

I can't remember the the Demogorgon. Demogorgon. And they know that they and so, like, I feel like what they could have done is been, like, she want she she he wants me. So I'm going to I'm going to go to sleep. You're you need to stay overwatched with the adrenaline, and you need to know at the time to do this, to bring, like, a plan.

Some kind of plan. Something. Right? See, that's sort of what it was. Freddie takes him out.

He falls asleep. Right. Yeah. And Freddie takes him out and he's like, why won't you die? Just like Freddie says in Freddie versus Jason, it pulls so and it never feels like an homage.

It feels fucking lazy. It's a facsimile. It of a facsimile of a facsimile of yeah. It's a copy of a copy, Steve. It's even the bloody hallway.

Is it a hat on a hat? It's a hat on a hat. Is it a hat on a hat if the hat been copied from someone else's hat? The hat was on a cat? The hat does play though.

Well, the hat The fedora does play. It does play. Whether it's necessary or not, it plays. I really gotta find a way to make money off this. It's just too good.

The idea is simply too good. Yeah. We're at the end of this movie. With the claws too, I fucking it's it gets so annoying. But the blood hallway mimicking the Oh, yeah.

With the marshmallow stairs and falling through it. I think generally there's a lack That's just for a wet dream. There's a lack of form. There's a lack of creativity. There's a lack of practical effects.

There's a lack of cool of practical effects. There's a lack of cool depths. There's a lack of, like, feeling you're being pulled into an act to a dream that is, like, like, reality starts to fall apart. You never feel like, welcome to my world, bitch. Which again, Freddy versus Jason.

There's a lack Fuck. Fucking fuck. There's just a lack and a lack and a lack. And at the end of the movie, just like in the first one, we think everything's fine. She's still in the dream or her mom dies?

But she's actually still in the dream and the mom gets fucking eyeballed. Is she still in the dream or is is her mom killed because Or is it some sort of PTSD related thing? Cut to cut to cut to the end of the movie. That's it. And it and it goes like that into Linkin Park.

Dream dream dream. Oh, I thought it was Linkin Park. No. That's later. No.

That wasn't Linkin Park. I stopped I just turned it off immediately. I didn't realize it. You were just like boop off. I'm surprised you gave this a 2 and a half in the beginning.

Like, where you're like, wait, this isn't good but I do like it. You know what it was? I don't Because he didn't have to work. Yeah. True.

Daytime movie. And I had closed the blinds. We got there. You told us that. Close the blinds.

I had a sweatshirt on. You got to spend time with your wife. Yeah. Yeah. Because I don't watch movies like this very often Good.

I don't usually watch terrible movies. No. That's not what I'm saying. You're not like you're not like Paul. No.

I love the first season of Stranger Things and it, like, the the first remake of it. Yeah. Do such a, like, a great it exports you into a place. Yeah. And it's an adventure and you're watching these kids trying to figure this thing out.

Mhmm. And it it's scary, but it also kind of feels wonderful. And fun. Like you're just like, oh, this is this is really great. Yeah.

Even though I'm like, don't know what's going on. I'm scared or whatever. It still feels really like There's the It feels nostalgic. You feel like a kid again. But you feel like you're drawing them in.

Yeah. It's kind of got that Goonies feel. Yeah. We're we're part of a group. And there are these little pieces in this movie that you go, oh, is that that feeling?

Mhmm. And you almost get there and like, that sucks. And they're all too like fragmented. They dislike each other or the situation too much. Yeah.

They're not all together trying to Yeah. And even like, oh, hey, Sherry died or whoever like like, oh, I'll It never brings them tighter, really. It feels like a facsimile of, like, it it feels like what Scream does and then tries to take it did you ever see the remake of Point Break? No. No.

So it's similar to that to me. A a remake of Point Break was Fast and Furious, basically. Right? The first one. Mhmm.

And so, like, the Point Break remake is basically a remake of Fast and it's like doing what Fast furious did but calling itself point break, but you're, like, taking a copy on top of a copy on top of a copy and it just becomes nothing. And to your point, no man's land that I've mentioned on here, a little Charlie Sheen joint to Ben's mind frame, But no man's land is a better version of Fast and the Furious, which, like, point break to me was the thing that happened in the middle of those 2, the where it hits, like, the highest Apex Echelon and then moves back down for Fast and the Furious. And, man, this sometimes remakes, they feel like or whatever, sequels, they feel like they're they missed what was actually special about Yes. The movie. They hit all these weird points They're just and you go like, but that's not what I loved about it.

Right. Yeah. I love IP. Yeah. At that point.

And that's all this was was like it just felt like an IP grab. Yeah. More than anything, which is, like, kind of a bummer again because I see so many of the names involved with this minus the fact that, like, nobody apparently gave a shit to talk to Wes Craven, which is so disappointing. Let's let's, let's re rank this shit and get it Take this bitch off. Get the fuck out of here, bitch.

Bitch. They say bitch a lot in the movie. I think it's probably the reference to why they keep saying that. Well, right. It's really offensive and I'm about to leave but Alright.

And that's halfway over the door. Yeah. We're in the bag. You wanna tell us your new ranking, Matt? Yeah.

How would you like this to go? Who goes first? Oh. Why don't you go first? I was at a one claw.

I might be at a half claw. Shit. I I I have no recommendation to watch this movie. That there's not there's nothing perform I mean, performances are doing their best, but otherwise, I'm like, there's better just do something better with your day. Yeah, Matt.

I'll go next. I would watch this movie again. Wow. I rented it on Voodoo. Yeah.

You told us for $4. I'm trying to get payback from Voodoo also. Sponsorship maybe. I rented this on Voodoo. Dispute the charge, bro.

Dispute the charge. I would never watch that shit. I rented this on Voodoo and I can watch it again for 24 hours. Nice. If I went home tonight and the Internet was down, everything was down.

The only thing I could watch was this movie. It's downloaded off the cloud? Yeah. Like, if if it like was possible and then also like for some reason my controller was broken so I couldn't play Madden. I would watch part of it before I tried to fall asleep again.

Let's go to Matt's place tonight. How much Night Right Elm Street? I'm I'm gonna pass. Weird. One one point Here's your half claw.

I'll give it 1.2 White Claws. Okay. Nice. You like to party. I like to party.

You're down to party. And that only point too is because I feel like maybe some good things happen for some of the actors afterwards. Yeah. So maybe there was Couple 1 or 2. What else did Jack Hero Haley have to do after this?

Oh, boy. I'm really only gonna have to give a girl the dragon tattoo. There are several. There are several. I feel like some of these really shitty movies might be a jumping off point for some other things.

That's Of course. So there's a little I'll give a little credit for that just being a platform. I gave him half a fucking claw. Otherwise, there's 4 of the claw. I am nearly with Ben with the half a claw thing.

I think I'm gonna stick with a single mascara, one lash plumper because I feel so thankful for the originals. So thankful. This is one of those things that truly can't exist without the others. Truly, it cannot. Yeah.

There are so many sequels that can exist without the original. Sure. This one cannot. And the originals are amazing. Also, we talked about some of the cool visual ideas, some of the great things that happened for people that have worked on this movie before and after for various reasons.

And it does have, like, a lot of people really trying their best. I don't think the music is terrible. It's just a lot of it is, like, jump scares and, like, like, you know, that are music driven that don't work for me. But we could take my new director's cut theme song to release. Anyone can do that.

Yeah. We're not just gonna do that. Not anyone. Well, you would have to be a genius. Yeah.

Exactly. Thank you. Speaking of, we wanna thank Genius, Matt Foskett, figuring out what are we watching? Mhmm. Our Scooby book.

Mhmm. Both of them. Anytime. Yeah. And thank you so much for being here.

Yeah. If you have a few months, which is Christmas over here. Oh, nice. I got a lot of time on my hands. You can be followed at is it big time bopper?

The big time bopper. Yeah. If they wanna find you. On Instagram or Yonder House is my music on Instagram and on Apple Music and Spotify and all the things. Or if you want a vinyl record, you can reach out to me or Paul and I can get it to you.

I can, reach out to me and I will give you Paul's physical address. Physical address. Correct. Yeah. Thank you, Gabriel.

For God's sake. Jamie Henwood does our, intro and our outro theme. Accurate. Yeah. Ben can be followed on letterboxed at runvmc.

As well as Instagram. I can be followed on letterboxed. Only letterboxed at paulaxbadly. That's the only way. Review x two podcast is our Instagram.

Don't hesitate to get in the DMs, y'all. Thank you so much, Matt, for watching this movie. What a chore. It was pretty much the least I could do and the most I could do. And from all of us here at reviews, it's like all you can say about that movie.

Have the most least fun this Halloween season. No. The best part of the movie, it's an hour 36. Including the bad Real tight. Including the bad intro.

Don't fall asleep.