Dumpster Diving with Janice & Jane Podcast
Dumpster Diving with Janice & Jane Podcast
Stories of Resilience and Mental Health Awareness
Is it possible that the pressures of daily life are silently impacting your mental health? Join us on a heartfelt journey as we return from our hiatus, sharing personal stories and insights into mental health challenges that often go unnoticed. From unexpected relationship losses to the overwhelming duties falling upon middle-aged women, we candidly share our struggles and wins. We aim to change the narrative around mental health by highlighting the importance of seeking professional help and recognizing the nuances of mental health conditions like depression, anxiety, PTSD, and ADHD.
Throughout this episode, we explore the intricacies of living with ADHD, especially compounded by other conditions, and the humor we find in recognizing our own ADHD traits. We discuss the challenges of navigating mental health treatment and the empowerment found in proper diagnoses. By sharing our experiences, we hope to inspire a sense of direction and the courage to reevaluate situations that could be impacting mental health. Our conversation touches on the importance of self-care and self-discovery, especially in the context of demanding work environments and societal expectations.
We encourage listeners to prioritize mental health awareness and engage in meaningful dialogue. Stay tuned for our next episode, where we'll continue these important conversations and address parenting challenges in our popular Reddit roulette segment.
Be sure to LIKE, SUBSCRIBE, and FOLLOW
Got a story or question to pose for adice? Email us at dumpsterdivejj@gmail.com
PLEASE READ CAREFULLY
These Terms and Conditions apply to your use of Dumpster Diving with Janice and Jane Podcast. Your use of the Podcast is governed by these Terms and Conditions. If you do not agree with these Terms and Conditions, please do not access the Podcast.
See FULL Terms and Conditions Here.
see, okay, you're listening to dumpster diving with janice and jane and to our um audience. We are so sorry you know how I feel, about apologizing I well, I'm going to apologize because one. Um well, hold on, let me just play this song. Um well, hold on, let me just play this song. I had to. I love it. It's perfect, I had to y'all. I had it all queued up to the chorus because, um, I've missed you, Janice.
Speaker 2:I've missed you too. It's been a freaking month since we talked to each other, let alone bother to record anything. So, yes, on some level we're low key here. No, no, I found the sweet spot. We're sorry, Rose, Rose, we're sorry Everybody else. You're welcome because we're back.
Speaker 1:So yeah.
Speaker 2:Rose is the only one that missed us. Maybe John is the only one that missed us. Maybe Jaws Rose was the only one who missed us.
Speaker 1:No, we have Jaws out there, and Jaws is one of my good friends, you're right, okay, jaws, sorry. Sorry to you, and he's actually been diligently listening and watching our videos. I love it, and I apologized to him first and then said keep watching and we'll have some more episodes for you.
Speaker 2:We're back, we're back, we're back. You guys, this is, this is real life, right, this is like we don't have resources, we don't have producers, we don't have it's us so. So sometimes the us can't do it right, like very quickly. And we're going to we'll elaborate on these things more in the next episode, but, like I was with my grandbaby for two weeks in Orlando, we had a wedding, One of our daughters just got married, blah, blah, blah Plus oh, by the way, I have a day job. You same thing. So much stuff going on.
Speaker 2:And so what we decided was we're just coming off of September, which, of course, is Suicide Prevention Month, and we really value the opportunity to weigh in on the conversation around mental health. So I think what we're going to do is like put a pause on some of the other million other things we want to talk about, right, and we're going to focus on that for this episode and kind of cover the gamut of of, you know, from a parenting lens, from a, you know, personal lens, et cetera, and then we'll pick up, right with some of the other stuff next week. But for now, right, what we're going to do, sister, is focus on you, because you are in real time, really modeling what it looks like to be somebody who tells everybody else to take care of their mental health and perhaps not take their own advice.
Speaker 1:I don't know about that.
Speaker 2:Now, okay, you're right? No, you do, but you took a bigger step of life because there's some stuff going on. So I want to, you know, let's make the bigger step of life because there's some stuff going on. So I want to, you know, let's make the space for you to tell that story to some extent, because I feel like our listeners, many of them, who are women, middle-aged women, just like us who are?
Speaker 2:carrying all the things, and it's really easy to convince ourselves that we are the problem because we just can't dot dot dot live up to what everybody else needs, whatever it is, and so I love that we're going to change that narrative a little bit today, starting with you, friend, definitely definitely, because I am definitely a woman that's I do everything you know and that's kind of just you know we've.
Speaker 1:There's so many of us that do everything. There's so many of us that came from childhoods that you know even the perfect ones, we come away with something. You know, some type of little trauma or some type of little thing. Or I don't know one person that's like I had the perfect childhood and young adulthood and everything has gone perfect for me every moment of my life. That just doesn't happen, and if it is, somebody is in the background taking care of a lot of stuff for you, so you're oblivious to what's really going on Like no amount of money, no amount of love or anything is going to protect you from just being in the world.
Speaker 1:You know I mean well and honestly, if it does an outcome that's not great. Like to get to to partly what you're saying Jane.
Speaker 2:It does an outcome that's not great. Like to get to to partly what you're saying Jane is, then usually you have a lack of resiliency, right. Like the first time something comes that does trip you up, you don't have the skills to deal with it because you've never had to.
Speaker 1:Yeah, right, exactly, and, and, yeah, and then it's, and then it's paralysis, you know, in in that aspect. But what I'm getting at is that you know, we're all, we're all human, we're all. We all have our flaws, we all have our experiences and stuff like that, and none of us are the same.
Speaker 1:And so this, this, since January I have to honestly say since January like I've been really struggling because I've gone through like some crazy losses this year, not like death but, like what I thought a relationship was with family members, what I thought was a relationship with, you know, people that I work with, what I thought what I believed to be isn't, and so for that, that for me is is a hard loss, almost worse than losing somebody, because you still have to be with them and talk to them and have that relationship with them, but know that their intentions aren't the same anymore. Fine, but at the end of the day, like the person that's making sure everything is fine and is the one that's suffering, you know, and beating ourselves up and doing all of those things. But over the last several months it's become very apparent to me that I needed more. You know, I needed more to to help me, because I found myself feeling depressed. I've never felt depressed before.
Speaker 1:I, um, I've never felt that before and and the anxiety that I have had over the last year and a half has like elevated to crazy levels, you know. So now I'm having panic attacks. Never had panic attacks before, you know. And so, like, all of this stuff has been like compiling and finally, you know, after doing a lot of thinking and and a lot doing, a lot of nothing, you know, like some of those times where it's just like I don't have the energy to do anything, and this is so foreign to me because I've never, ever, experienced depression before, any of that. So it was like scary, because I was like what's wrong with me? You know, why don't I want to do anything, like literally nothing.
Speaker 2:So well, and let me push a pause right there just to say what a classic symptom of depression I feel like it's probably the symptom that is most socialized, like, people are most aware of and yet, knowing everything you know, it's not like the first time you felt that you were like, oh, depression, I should do something about this Right. First time you beat yourself up Like what is my problem? Why am I? I didn't recognize it.
Speaker 1:I didn't recognize it until months into it. Yeah, I didn't realize me not doing the normal things I would normally do is depression. I was just like, ah, I don't feel like doing it today. I don't feel like doing this. I mean even to the point where I was maybe cooking once a week, when I used to cook almost every night, like for the kids and stuff like that. Like just really and and and.
Speaker 1:With all of that I had some stuff going on at work, you know, and obviously I can't talk about it, but that was like now I'm starting to feel sick when I go to work. Now I'm starting to feel like, like hopeless and my, my responses are getting more like reactions and and like I'm changing as a person because of something. Yeah, what is that something? And so I just decided I was going to take a big jump. I'm like you know what, Jane? You're an adult. You know that there's a ton of mental health issues in your family. You know that some of your children suffer from some mental health issues. Like, why haven't you gone to see if maybe, just maybe, there's something that can be, you know, worked on? You know what is it Right? Like what's at the core of it right now. Why do you have? You know what's going on, and so I'm here to just share my story about I went and made an appointment with a psychiatrist.
Speaker 1:I was like, look, I'm going for the big guns. I'm not going to just go to my primary care physician and tell them about my problems and have them throw some medicine at me and hope that it works. I went to the source Like I was just like I'm not going to play around with this. We know that my mom has mental health issues bad, you know, our dad obviously did. He had, I mean, bipolar is probably one of the main ones with him with the impulse and everything else. But I'm not a doctor, right, so I'm like I need to, I need to do this, I need to feel better. I'm tired of feeling like this. I'm tired of feeling, you know, like I could see where people would commit suicide. You know, I mean I never I didn't think about that, but I was just like I could see where people would do this if they kept this going.
Speaker 2:How it could spiral from where you are to boom. Yeah.
Speaker 1:So bad and it's so. It's like this 30, 30 foot pit that you're in trying to crawl like, claw your way out of it. And um, so I did. I went to the appointment and you know the uh well, it was virtual, but he was very nice and shout out to Dr Niles Um, but he was very nice. But what I learned about myself during that one hour interview was you know, I have compounded PTSD. We've talked about that. He's like it's active, meaning active means that you're triggered by things You've been triggered.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you've been triggered. He goes it's active right now. He just by what you're telling me and stuff like that, it's active. On top of that, you have severe depression.
Speaker 2:At that moment I still didn't think I was depressed until he told me and I was like no, I don't.
Speaker 1:I was like, no, no, I don't. But then, as soon as we got off the phone, I'm starting to think. You know, we start thinking and I'm like, oh my God, I am totally depressed. But anyways, anxiety, which we already knew. You know like I and anxiety is new to me within the last year and a half.
Speaker 1:But then the topper, the kicker, the icing on the cake was ADHD. And I'm like are you fucking kidding me right now? That too. And he was like you have pretty severe ADHD. He goes. It's less about the attention deficit, but it's more about the hyperactivity he's like not sleeping, you know, talking a million miles a minute. You know, just, he goes. I can tell just by talking to you you have ADHD. He was like you're like you know, and I'm like, well, that makes sense. So I'm 45 years old, being diagnosed with what we see as a kid thing, you know, and as we go on, we're learning more and more about ADHD and the small percentage of adults that it lingers in, because it's usually something kids grow out of, right, but my brothers had ADD, not me. I was never diagnosed with it Because you're a girl we're way quicker to diagnose boys than we are girls.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and so I've gone 45 years of my life having an issue that definitely affects me day to day and in my adult life and not knowing it, and so I wasn't like mad, but I was just like, oh okay, well, now I have something to go research, now I have something to go look at, now I have something to understand me better.
Speaker 2:Now I have something to get hyperactive about. Huh, now I have something to get hyperactive about. Now I have something to focus on.
Speaker 1:No, focused on that no, um no. But what it did was like opened up my, my mind to, okay, like what you know? All right, let's look at this. So I started doing research and I jumped down the adhd rabbit hole and, oh, my god, I have adhd. So bad, you guys. Oh god, some of the symptoms. Multiple marriages I'm like you know what I? That one killed me. I started laughing my ass off multiple marriages and that's adhd in women and I'm like, oh, that's so interesting. Yes, it's so interesting. So, of course, I'm looking at all of this stuff now, but I'm saying all of this, so for future reference.
Speaker 2:You are not allowed to engage in any kind of marital relationship unless I have approved it.
Speaker 1:No, we're not.
Speaker 2:Because I can check your ADHD status at that time. Hold on, girl. Is this your heart or?
Speaker 1:is it? I am not getting married again.
Speaker 2:Let's just paint that. Well, we've kind of both agreed, right Like yeah at this point in your life, not not even just you.
Speaker 1:I mean, you know I'm in a loving relationship. I don't FT ending, but but Joe and I have actually both joked about this Like this. Is it Like if we're? If this doesn't work, nothing will ever work, so just leave that button alone was just laughing out loud when I was reading through the different symptoms of ADHD in adults and women and when I saw multiple marriages I was like see, it's not me, yeah that's right.
Speaker 2:It's not my fault, everybody. It's not my fault, in fact, they don't count anymore. We're erasing them, that's how that goes, they never happened. No, let me ask you this though I'm curious, and maybe this is for a future conversation Maybe you haven't gotten this far because, literally, this is all still relatively new information for you. Yeah, a couple of weeks ago. I'm curious about, like what happens at the intersection of ADHD and anxiety and severe depression, the post-traumatic being triggered. Like what happens?
Speaker 1:So we talked about that and so you know he's like what medications are you on. He was like, and so you know he's like what medications are you on. And a year and a half ago my primary care physician gave me Lexapro.
Speaker 2:I remember.
Speaker 1:Yeah Right, so I'm on Lexapro and he was like what's the milligrams? And I was like it was five, now it's 10, I think. And he was like, okay, he goes. What are you taking for anxiety? I said that's what I am taking for anxiety. He goes no, that's an antidepressant.
Speaker 1:Yep, I'm familiar with that one, yeah, and I was like, okay, and he goes, that's not helping with anxiety, and I go, well, that's why I'm here. Well, no shit, Because primary care physicians, granted, they're great doctors and all that stuff, but they don't specialize in mental health issues. And the thing about a psychiatrist is in mental health issues. And the thing about a psychiatrist is is that they know all of the chemical balances in the body. They're chemists, and so their job is to adjust and do all the medications for whatever you have going on. And they work with you. Like when you first start seeing one, you see them every two weeks so they can make tweaks to your medication, find out how you're feeling blah, blah, blah, you know. And so like we an appointment next week because we need to follow up and see how I'm feeling, stuff like that, and I'm feeling a lot better, like I've noticed. I'm, you know, okay, let's, let's do this and let's do that, so it is working. But he was like we need to bump that up. So he bumped that up and he goes. Now here's an anxiety medication. He goes.
Speaker 1:I want you on this for the next couple of weeks and then, when we meet, then we'll start tackling the ADHD, because what's happening in my brain and in my body is the environment that I'm in currently my my work environment is is interesting, I'll just say interesting right now and so it's very triggering to me because it is. There's some PTSD in there that's getting triggered. So my reaction to it is anxiety instantly in my body and and I'm really freaking focused on the aspect of I feel like my body is addicted to trauma and because as soon as and there's a book written about it, I have to, I'll have to look it up, but like I've been really like paying attention and our bodies are trauma, and so it's like I feel like my, my brain goes to, I feel like I'm trapped in this body that only reacts to these, the friction, and I can't get my normal self out because all of that noise is going on. And then the ADHD loses track and it's like oh wait, you were doing this, but let's go do this and this feels better. So go do that.
Speaker 1:And and then, being in an environment where you get pulled in 10 different directions, it's anxiety ridden, because now you're like what was I doing? How am I doing it? Where am I going? What are we doing? So it's, it's a compilation of all things and he did tell me he was like and I'm going to be straight up Like. He was like sounds like you know, if this stuff doesn't help, we need to talk about that job, because that doesn't sound like a good environment for you anymore. And I said, no, it doesn't, you know. So he was like we got to talk about that too. So you know it's, I did it because I wanted to, like you know, feel better.
Speaker 2:Yeah, of course.
Speaker 1:And see where I could. You know cause I I need to work on me at all Always, you know, we always do. But also if you're in an environment where the people aren't willing to work on themselves or the environment, it's not you, you know. So I'm kind of stuck in between a rock and a hard place right now and I'm trying to figure that out. But doing this and taking care of my mental health has definitely helped me with navigating that. It was bad. I was crying, I was having meltdowns at home. You know stuff like that and I didn't know why.
Speaker 1:Now that I have the help, and you know he was like your antidepressant is like for a 12 year old. He was like you need, we're bumping that up, we're doing this, we're doing that. So within a week I was already starting to feel better. So you know, and getting the medication, the right dosages and stuff like that. So that's been really great. And um, and next we'll tackle the ADHD and then we'll tackle environments, but a lot of things come into factor for that and so the mental health and the and the suicide prevention and stuff like that. You know, I just kind of wanted to trauma dump but also like talk about it a little bit, because it's like your environment can alter how you feel about yourself. Um, you know all of that and I have a fun fireside chat for October. I actually had an experience with a lady in the bank and it was crazy Okay, not crazy, but it was really cool, but it's kind of spooky. So you know, I want to keep it for.
Speaker 2:Oh, I love that We'll do, because last year we did that fireside chat for spooky stuff yeah.
Speaker 1:So it's not spooky, but it's more spiritual. But it was really cool and it was exactly what I needed to hear that in that moment and so it was like a really cool moment.
Speaker 2:So I just you know what our audience is thinking right now they're thinking. The spookiest thing about that is that you had an interaction in a bank. Who the hell goes to a bank anymore?
Speaker 1:Look, I needed to get a cashier's check, so you know, that's going to be the scariest part of that story.
Speaker 2:People are going to be like what the fuck? Yeah, what? Why did you go in there? What did it look like? What did it look like? Did they say lollipops? What happened they?
Speaker 1:had lollipops, it was great.
Speaker 2:That is a good reason to go to a bank, by the way, everybody. That is a good reason to go to a bank, by the way.
Speaker 1:Everybody, everybody needs to go to your bank and get a lollipop Get a freaking lollipop man.
Speaker 2:Yeah, well, okay. So, first off, proud of you for taking care of yourself and for seeking answers outside of yourself. Because the scary part is, I feel like we both know so many people who get into that space that you were in and they can't even see Like, they can't even think rationally enough to think I need to go see somebody, right? So the fact that you did that is is so significant, right, and I think that you know, what I hope our listeners take away from that is like, if any of the things that you've described, any of the feelings, any of the experiences, feel familiar at all, there is literally no downside to just going one time to a psych-out, one time, right, and then you can decide if it was helpful and you know if you need to go any further. You don't have to commit to a lifetime of therapy by going one time.
Speaker 1:Right, and he does talk therapy, which is really great. You know he's a younger guy, he's probably in his late twenties. You know he's old enough to be my kid, or he's young enough to be my kid, but he was very sweet and he just had like this very you know, he would just had a very neutral demeanor and but he was funny too. Like he was like do you ever cut people off when you're talking? I'm like what do you mean?
Speaker 2:Well, and you're. I mean again all of those like indicators, if you will right, of the different things that you're experiencing. I think I'm going to speak to the our women listeners out there especially. It's not just women, but oftentimes women people who are in the primary caretaker role, whatever your gender, right, but um we. There's such a culture right now around. You're supposed to feel tired. That's normal. You're supposed to feel this.
Speaker 1:That's normal.
Speaker 2:I saw a great post recently about like how about we change the wine culture around momming right now, because so much of it is about oh, mama, you've done such a good job, you've had such a hard week. Have some wine and like what? What if we didn't say alcohol was a reward? Yeah, go get a massage. What if we? Well, but also the deeper thing about it was what if we actually changed the system? That is, putting all of this on mothers right.
Speaker 1:What if?
Speaker 2:we actually changed how we operate so that mothers aren't the ones who constantly walk around feeling that way and and assume it's either normal, so I'm just going to power through, or I must suck because I'm not doing it all, and have a smile on my face and feel great and feel you know what I mean Like are putting on that perfect exterior, if you will. So I just I think that you know, I think especially you know, if you're in that primary caretaker role like you and I both have been for our whole lives, from as young as we can remember. Yeah, this is how I'm supposed to feel, right, and don't get me wrong. Yes, in some cases, if it's a bad day, then maybe you just had a bad day and you're tired, but it's the recurring pattern, you being able to look back over months and go. I've literally only been cooking dinner once a week. I love to cook. What is that?
Speaker 1:Literally like patterns changed and I didn't even realize. Like Saturday and Sunday was like boom, we're recording, we're doing this, we're doing that, and like your travel schedule and everything else, and then you know, just trying to get other things done, like my capacity level was just nil. You know, like physically, like I mean what I mean I'm still like struggling with it. A little bit. Like yesterday, I spent all day in bed but I was exhausted, like I had a really busy week. I've been doing physical labor at work all week and stuff. So I was like I'm not doing shit today. But today, you know, I'm getting up at a normal time and everything.
Speaker 1:But a month ago I'd still be in bed, you know, like literally, and then like okay, like let's go record or whatever, but like I'm actually like excited about stuff again. I wasn't excited about anything. I wasn't excited about anything, like just nothing. But I also felt hopeless. You know from the environment that I was in, the things that I was dealing with, the things I'm still dealing with, like I'm trying to figure all of that out.
Speaker 1:But what I do know now is that I have some things that I need to manage, yeah, and, and if they're not managed, nothing else is going to happen, and so I have to focus on that, and that's my main focus right now. So if it doesn't feel good to me, if it doesn't, if I'm being pushed too far, boundaries are set, and that's and that's a bigger thing. So now I'm dealing with new boundaries that I've never had before because I've always just been that yes person, and that's another symptom of ADHD. We just want to say, yes, I'll do it, you know I'll do it and I'm really good at doing it, you know I'm really good at getting it, whatever done, yeah. And the depressions in there, and ADHD is still saying yes, yes, yes, but then the depressions like bitch, please, you are not gonna do this.
Speaker 1:You think you're gonna do it, but you're not. I am keeping you right bed. You are going to have zero motivation. You're just going to want to watch the voice or something. That's what I know, what you're going to want to do, and so then I have this internal struggle, you know. So all of that being said is take care of yourselves, Be curious about you. That was my. I lead with curiosity and that's kind of just the energy I live in.
Speaker 1:I know that when I was depressed, I wasn't feeling like a victim or anything. I never went to that mentality. I didn't understand why my, why my oomph was gone. But after finding out those things, I have a whole new, like almost lease on life in the aspect of like so many of the things that I've been through or how I handled certain things and stuff like that. I now have answers to that, because I thought that it was just like I don't know why I did that, but it just. You know it turned out, however, but now I understand.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so having a deeper understanding of yourself and how you move and how your brain functions is so empowering. That's right. In the aspect of now, I know I'm not crazy because I literally had a couple of moments where I'm like I feel like I'm going crazy. Yeah, Like literally, I feel like that, Like what the ever living fuck you know. And so to know that I'm not crazy we're all a little crazy Crazy is relative, Crazy is relative but like to know that that was just a symptom of some of something that I needed to handle was just so empowering Cause I'm like, thank God, because this was crazy. You know, feeling that way, Absolutely yeah. So take care of yourselves and find out what's going on.
Speaker 2:Figure it out. Like you said, right, it doesn't. There's no downside to talking to somebody at least one time. I will say this as you were talking about, you know the the kind of like adhd was making you do this, but depression was like bitch, please, etc. Okay, what popped in my head was the movie inside out oh my god, yeah. And the more recent one that introduces the teen emotions. Right, because I was watching parts of that with the kids while they were all here, and so I think there needs to be an adult version of that. Disney, pixar. Pay attention, and if you make this movie, we need credit when it's that, right, it's in that head of like, oh and how, because it's like, it's just so real, right, how they interact with each other in your head Anyway so inside out the adult edition.
Speaker 1:Right. No, we should probably do the adult edition. We should just um make out we can have jaw, hey jaw. This is a shout out to you. We need an animated series of adult inside out that would be great if we could just get on that, that'd be great.
Speaker 2:Thank you now I want to take a few minutes before we wrap up and extend, because we we've done this before and so I'll just add it in here that you know, if you're experiencing it yourself, everything Jane just said is so pertinent to you. If you're not, but you recognize it in someone else, whether it's a friend, whether it's a family member, whether it's your own child, those are really hard conversations to embark on. But being the person in somebody's world who just says I am literally just checking in on you, right, because this is what I see and I know that this is a shift in you, right, you don't have to describe it, it's not good, it's not bad, it's not, it's just a change. I see this change in you and I'm checking in on you, right, and I it's so important, right, because sometimes, excuse me, it's that that will make somebody usually in the moment we're going to be like no, no, I'm fine, I'm good, I'm good, I'm.
Speaker 2:When we talked about kind of the big, the way the world has changed for young people, and this is a kid who you know by most measures has had so much success, he's a national semi or semi-final merit semi-finalist, like all the things. And he said the biggest thing plaguing myself and my friends right now is mental health. And he said and I know we're talking a lot about it and that's really great, but I'm saying it out loud in this space to just say we can't talk enough about it. So, and that's you started with, like you know, sometimes you, everything seems fine, everything's fine, right, same thing.
Speaker 2:Like you would look at this kid and think to yourself he's got it all going on, he must be fine, but underneath it right, is issues with perfectionism, probably some ADHD, like there's different stuff going on. And so I think that teens are at such high risk, because you know, when you're parenting teens, you're almost always doing it for the first time, right, and so you just know the general kind of ideas out there around teens in terms of they sleep all the time, they have hormonal, emotional you know waves of emotion, and those things are true, but sometimes they're also indicators of something that's more serious and deeper, and so, paying attention to it and having that same conversation, I've seen these changes. Yeah, what's that for of it? Should we talk to somebody just to check in?
Speaker 1:you know those things and your approach is 100%, you know, because I had the experience of. I mean, the reason why that I pushed it is that, you know, somebody that I work closely with was just like you know, you, you're, I'm more prickly, you know, or whatever, and or I don't. I don't want to see negative reactions, because there were reactions to, and it's that PTSD trigger for sure, because it's like everything that that and those emotions and stuff like that are all attached to it, so it brings it back up. You know, and that was the point to me, like even before, because I was feeling a certain way. I was just like, you know, I'm making this appointment, and in that conversation I was like, look, I'm doing things for me to make sure that I'm being the best version of myself, but I can't be the only one making changes. And that's a big factor too, because whether it's a relationship, home, romantic work, whatever, we can't take on all of as women, you know, adult men you know too, because we all go through the same stuff. And I wish that we would just really start looking at the world as humans, because all humans, we all have these emotions and all of these things and you know, if we're not taking responsibility for ourselves, because I just needed to know.
Speaker 1:Episode is is that I work. I work in South LA, I work in, you know, mainly, I mean most of my coworkers are either black or brown people of color. I am one of very few white people that work at my business and in the black and brown culture, mental health is like we don't have a problem, you know it's, and they'll openly say oh no, we don't do that, you know we don't, we don't go and see, we don't get therapy, we don't talk to a psychologist, we don't talk to a psychiatrist, we don't do that stuff because we're fine, you know. But that's the culture.
Speaker 1:And I went to lunch with one of my good friends and colleagues on Friday and we were talking about that and she's Hispanic and and or or Latin X, you know, and um, and she was like but Jane, we don't do that and I go, I know, I know she goes, she goes, I do, she goes, but in our culture and I go, I know, and we need to change that. So because, just using me as an example, like, look, I'm a 45 year old white woman that has, has been successful and done all the things that I need to do and and been courageous and everything else, but I still need that, too, you know that's exactly right, and so so, if this serves as anything, it's to talk to our audience, and most of our audience is black and brown.
Speaker 2:That's very true.
Speaker 1:Which I love. I love too.
Speaker 1:So, I love it. But here's to you guys. You know like we're allies and friends and humans too, and we're just saying like, please take care of yourselves. If anything, just find out and then and then research online. That's what I did. I got off that appointment and I was like ADHD and middle-aged women. I was like, oh my God, wow, oh my God, yeah, you know, and you know.
Speaker 1:The funny thing is is that when we were kids, I remember going to like therapy, like occupational therapy, with my older and younger brother because they had dyslexia. I had it too, but they never put me through any of this stuff, you know, and like, like so there was things that they just skipped over me to get help Cause I have dyslexia. Bad Like. I like math was always really hard for me because everything was backwards or upside down. You know so, but like so it's just weird. So let's take control of that. Now, you know. Let's say you know we're adults, we can do what we want.
Speaker 1:We have insurance for a reason and most of the mental health stuff you guys is free. It's now free. If you go into your insurance stuff, most of it is free. They're like here we're going to happily send you somewhere. You know like we'll do it, so use your resources. I mean, I'm going to start posting articles about this stuff and even doing short videos about it, just because I'm learning so much about it, and just get it out there. The ADHD part, for sure, but also the depression and the anxiety, that stuff. It comes out of nowhere and I actually coach people at work through anxiety. Now I have young interns that come into a work environment. That's just balls to the wall and stuff comes up, you know. So, anyways, well, and I, I love that.
Speaker 2:And I love that you're extending and I think that you know, you've given everybody a lot to think about and you know, I think that I really appreciate you lifting up the idea that in a lot of spaces now these services are free because, from a community slash, societal perspective right, it is in our best interest to take care of the mental health of the people in our communities because it makes such a huge difference. Right, it can either be a huge financial drain because we don't get ahead of it, or it can be a huge asset overall because we did get ahead of it. Right, and for a lot of people, a diagnosis of severe depression doesn't last forever. Right, for a lot of people, you take that medication, you get treatment for a while, et cetera, and eventually you don't need those things forever.
Speaker 2:Right and if you do, that's fine. Yeah, but it doesn't make it. It doesn't mean that you will, but it doesn't make it. It doesn't mean that you will. Well, I'll leave it at that.
Speaker 1:You know, sometimes, yeah, the dependency may be there, right? So you know, like I've been on antidepressants for a year and a half now, obviously the wrong dosage. So, yeah, I'm going to continue to take them. Because I'll tell you something, you guys, over the summer, my very baby dose of Lexapro, I was broke. I'm going way deep. I was broke so I couldn't afford to pick up my prescription. That was the worst idea fucking ever. Yeah, I didn't take it for three weeks and I, at that third week, my brain was like bitch, if you don't get that medication, you're going to lose it. I had a complete meltdown at home, crying like a baby because I couldn't find something Like. I was like complete meltdown and I'm like what the fuck is going on? Oh, I haven't taken that medication for three.
Speaker 2:I will fucking never again.
Speaker 1:Yeah, no, never again. Like it was just one of those survival things, like it's like okay, I, you know it's as important as food, right, it's not like so. So to your point of maybe one day you could be off of it. Some medications you just have to take forever because your body is on it.
Speaker 2:So absolutely, absolutely it was definitely a dependency thing.
Speaker 1:My body was like, oh, our happy pill is gone. It's very little, but our happy pill is gone, so anyways because at the core of that is a chemical imbalance. Yes, yes.
Speaker 2:Right, and for some people it can be adjusted, but for a lot of people, no, you just take it forever because it's a chemical imbalance.
Speaker 1:Here's what I'll say to that, because I've learned a lot about this over and, mind you, being in a relationship with somebody that has mental health issues, you learn a lot about them, and so a lot of that that I learned from my past relationships. I was like, okay, like this would have annoyed the shit out of me why you know, okay, I'm seeing it now, right, I mean how that works, yeah, but I will say this like going and I'm going to, I'm going to this will be the flag that I wave. Going to an actual psychiatrist is your best bet. They're not there to diagnose you with everything in the world. They really don't want to diagnose you with anything. They want to make sure you know, they're making sure you're okay, but they're also helping you understand yourself.
Speaker 1:That's right. And they are very good. Again, they're chemists. They're very good at making adjustments. So a lot of people, when they have bigger issues than me, like bipolar or whatever, they feel good and then they go. Well, I'm going to go off the medication because I feel good now and then they go and that's like the worst thing to do.
Speaker 1:So, you know, I'm just embracing it. I'm like, okay, look, I'm going to be on this $5 medication for the rest of my life Maybe. Okay, great, you know, but once I get the ADHD figured out and stuff like that, I may not need that anymore. You know so, but I'm letting him tell me what I need. When it comes to that, I'm not the doctor, so that's.
Speaker 1:Another big thing is like let go to a real psychiatrist that can really do these things for you and really make the adjustments that you need. And the crazy thing is is like you can call them and go. I'm feeling this way and it's been like a week and they'll go let me adjust something, go pick it up later today and within a week or so you're feeling better. That's their job and that's their expertise. So go to a real psychiatrist, go to somebody that's going to really understand the medications they're putting you on and the dosages and how your body's reacting to them, cause it's really about the relationship your body has with the medication to be able to move forward. That's right.
Speaker 2:Well, I think that's all like yeah, I love all of that and I love the idea of understanding that it's a process. It does not a magic wand. It's a process for time and that's why that relationship with the professional is so important. Um, so, yeah, thank you.
Speaker 1:But I feel like I have somebody that understands me now too. You know, I've never had like. I've been to therapy before, tested it out, and I never felt like they truly could help me. You know, because it was like one lady was trying to diagnose me with everything in her book because she was a new student. I'm like bitch, please, like we're not doing this here and so. And then another one. I went and I saw her for about six things. She's like you're fine, blah, blah, blah, you don't need me. And and right, I'm a coach, I know how to get through things, but when it came to the chemical aspect, I needed that help, and so talking to him is like and he does talk therapy too. So I'm like I feel actually really comfortable talking to you about that too, cause you understand what's going on here Absolutely.
Speaker 2:Now we're good All in one place. I can see that. So all right, folks, that's it right, like it's, it's it's. You know we've just finished, or wrapped up, suicide prevention month. We know that it's something we have to attend to all the time and at the core of that is really attending to our mental health. So thank you so much, sister, for sharing all of that with all of us and, as always, like, share, subscribe, do all the things, you guys.
Speaker 1:We can't talk about mental health enough for all ages, and we will continue.
Speaker 2:And especially at our ages, because I just don't think we focus on it at all.
Speaker 1:We don't, we really don't.
Speaker 2:So be sure to share, share, share especially, and next episode we're going to return to our Reddit roulette, but we're going to focus on early childhood, because we did have a reader, a listener, write in about some guidance for parenting of newborns and younger ones, and so we're going to pick up on that next time. All right, bye.
