Healing a Broken Heart with Ken & Tabatha Claytor

Some wounds don’t just hurt—they rearrange your world. We open up about betrayal in its many forms—breakups, family fractures, church hurt, even the quiet feeling that God didn’t show up—and we offer a path forward that’s both honest and hopeful. Without glossing over pain, we lay out five keys for healing: tell the truth about the wound, anchor your identity in God, choose forgiveness even if trust must be rebuilt, set boundaries that protect your heart, and invite God to redeem what was lost. Along the way, we share a vivid vision of broken glass becoming a mosaic, a reminder that your story can be remade into something stronger, rarer, and more beautiful.

You’ll hear how unhealed betrayal distorts identity, sabotages new relationships through projection and defensiveness, and traps us in loops of replayed pain. We talk about people-pleasing and why you don’t need universal approval to follow God’s call, especially when the resistance comes from your inner circle. We show how to love wisely at different levels of access—crowd, twelve, and three—without guilt or bitterness. With scriptures that speak to the brokenhearted and practical tools like journaling, counseling, and short daily prayers for those who hurt us, we move from theory to action.

We close with a guided prayer for healing, words of encouragement for men and women navigating fresh heartbreak, and a gentle challenge to share what resonated most. If you’re ready to release bitterness, rebuild trust wisely, and step into a redeemed season, press play and journey with us. If this helped you, subscribe, share it with a friend who needs it, and leave a review to help others find hope too.

GET THE BETTER MARRIAGE BOOTCAMP HERE:

Better Marriage Bootcamp (kenandtabatha.com)

Better Marriage 90-Day Devotional:
90 Day Better Marriage Devotional - Ken and Tabatha (square.site)

DOWNLOAD THE FAMILY MEETING OUTLINE HERE ⬇️
https://www.kenandtabatha.com/pl/2148103888

📍 Join us in Florida at Alive Church — with campuses in Orlando, Tampa & Gainesville.

🎟 And don’t miss Alive Conference coming soon — 3 days that can change the next 30 years of your life!

https://redeemedevents.com/event-details/1875

Support Our Ministry: 
https://myalivechurch.org/give


Connect with us:

- Website:

https://www.kenclaytor.com
https://www.tabathaclaytor.com
https://www.myalivechurch.org

- Socials:

Instagram -

https://www.instagram.com/kenclaytor/
https://www.instagram.com/tabathaclaytor/
https://www.instagram.com/myalivechurch/

TikTok-

@Ken_Claytor
@Tabathaclaytor
@myalivechurch

Facebook-

https://www.facebook.com/PastorKenClaytor
https://www.facebook.com/pastortabathaclaytor
https://www.facebook.com/myalivechurch

- Ask us questions: 

i...

Transcript

From People-Pleasing to God-Pleasing

SPEAKER_03 0:00

I just feel like there's somebody who just feels like they gotta be okay with everybody. People approval.

SPEAKER_02 0:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 0:05

And one way that you can get free from just like, man, did I mess up? Man, did I mess up? Man, did I mess up? Man, I gotta jump through this hoop for this relative and that person is that you gotta be okay with people not being okay with you.

SPEAKER_02 0:16

Right.

SPEAKER_03 0:16

Like years ago, I realized that just because people have a problem with me, it's not my problem. I think so many times we feel like, well, they got a problem with me. That's not my problem.

SPEAKER_01 0:26

Right.

SPEAKER_03 0:26

You having a problem with me is not my problem. I don't have problems. I don't care how cash cares. That's easier said than done, but I think it's it's an important place to come through because the Bible says that if you live godly, you're gonna have people who don't like you. Matter of fact, the person who has everybody speaking well of them is not in a good place. So if you're gonna live fully for God, there's gonna be some people in your life that just don't like you because you represent light. And maybe they got a little bit of darkness in it.

SPEAKER_00 0:54

You have to allow God to lead your life. You know, we're seeking God for answers. We're not seeking our parents, our friends, our congregation, any we're not seeking anyone but God for answers. Other people can help us find the voice of God, but ultimately we're gonna follow God, right?

SPEAKER_03 1:14

Hey, what's up? Welcome everybody to Doing Life with Ken and Tabitha. We are so pumped to have you guys joining us for another episode. We don't believe that you're here by an accident. Um, we believe that a righteous person's footsteps are ordered by the Lord. And so we got a good one for you today. We're excited about it. You're gonna have to stay on here to the end. We got some extra content at the end that I know you're gonna enjoy. Today's episode is entitled Five Keys to Overcome Betrayal. And I really like the subtitle, sweetheart. It's called Healing the Broken Heart. And for those of you all who've ever been through a breakup, um, maybe there's a relationship that went sour. Maybe there has been betrayal in your life by somebody that you've trusted. This one is for you. I believe with all of my heart God's going to use this podcast to reach people and he's gonna heal the brokenhearted. Amen. I believe that with all of my heart. And so, sweetheart, how would you how would you define betrayal from your perspective?

SPEAKER_00 2:08

I would say it is um a broken trust.

SPEAKER_03 2:13

Has there been times where you've been betrayed?

SPEAKER_00 2:16

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 2:17

Um can you ad live on any that comes to mind?

Defining Betrayal and Lived Examples

SPEAKER_00 2:20

Um I have been betrayed when, you know, people broke the trust that I had, like maybe people lying on me, um maybe people misrepresenting me. I know I've been um betrayed in, you know, family members who are supposed to protect me and you know, keep me as a child, um, keep me safe when they didn't keep me safe when they hurt me instead of helping me. Um I think all of those things have been betrayal for me.

SPEAKER_03 2:54

You know the crazy thing about what those examples that you just gave is I don't know why anybody would want to hurt you or betray you. You know, I've known you a quarter of a century. Um, sweet, nice, kind, due for others. And I guess I'm highlighting that just to say that we don't get to hide from betrayal.

SPEAKER_02 3:13

Right.

SPEAKER_03 3:14

You know, if you're a human being, you're probably gonna be betrayed by somebody, hurt by somebody, right, persecuted in some kind of way, misunderstood by people, taken advantage of. And I think what is our response to the betrayal is actually um the biggest thing for us to figure out how are we gonna come back from this betrayal? And so if I was to define it, I would define it as this the violation of trust through disloyalty, deception, or abandonment by someone who you believed was committed to your well-being. I've been betrayed before. Um you know, you you we have the dating betrayal where there's been breakups. Yes. But then we also have the friendship betrayal. Then we have in a spiritual context, we have people that you are walking and doing life with, or even as a spiritual father to those that you cover, as a pastor to those who you you minister to. There can be levels of betrayal there. For some people, it's they were betrayed by somebody in spiritual authority. And those are betrayals, they they hurt really, really bad. And so one thing that I've had to do is to make sure that betrayal doesn't fester in my heart to where bus bitterness and resentment sticks in. That's been a whole journey to there's there's so there's so many examples of betrayal.

SPEAKER_00 4:37

There's betrayal in the workplace, you know, bosses, co-workers, things that happen. Um, I think that some people experience a sense of betrayal, even though it would be incorrect, with God.

SPEAKER_01 4:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 4:52

Where they feel like they believed God for something or they trusted God in this area and he didn't come through for them.

SPEAKER_01 4:58

Okay.

When Pain Targets Faith in God

SPEAKER_00 4:59

Um, I I remember when I had cancer and I was fighting for cancer, and one of the things that I had to talk to God about was, Lord, I can probably quote unquote what I said. It's like, Lord, I trusted you that I wouldn't get cancer.

SPEAKER_03 5:14

And you let me down. You let me down. I feel like you let me down.

SPEAKER_00 5:18

I feel like that.

SPEAKER_03 5:19

Whether it's true or not.

SPEAKER_00 5:20

Yes. Yeah. Now I wasn't right, but it's how I felt.

SPEAKER_03 5:24

Um, I would think that maybe even some of that felt justifiable a little bit. Exactly. The truth is that it was an attack of the enemy. And we live in a fallen world, and bad things happen to good people. And thankfully, by the stripes of Jesus, you're healed, and now you've been healed over four years, cancer free. But the journey was not pretty.

SPEAKER_02 5:42

Right.

SPEAKER_03 5:42

And I think that there's a lot of people who are in a battle or in a storm or in a valley, and the battle's not pretty. And so, yeah, they can feel like they've been betrayed by God.

SPEAKER_00 5:51

Right.

SPEAKER_03 5:51

But the truth is that he'll never leave us or forsake us.

SPEAKER_00 5:54

And the truth is he didn't let me down.

SPEAKER_03 5:56

He didn't let you down. He was carrying you through the whole thing. Absolutely. Yeah. But I want to talk about betrayal. So can you give me what would be maybe your top um thing that's happened in your life where you felt betrayed by someone? You just, if you don't mind, just unpacking that if you can remember.

Consequences of Unhealed Betrayal

SPEAKER_00 6:13

Um, there's actually so many. I don't know. Uh, you know, early on in life, you know, in childhood, I had a lot of um things, a lot of betrayals. So um, you know, I I'll pick one. Um, I will pick uh, ooh, I'll pick, you know, just being molested as a child. Okay. Um, the betrayal there was I was a kid and I trusted that my tribe, my family, I trusted that, you know, nothing bad was gonna happen to me. I didn't know what this was. I didn't know anything. And um, the person who did it, I didn't even know who they were. It was a stranger, but I felt betrayed by that person once I became to know them, but then also my family who didn't keep me safe.

SPEAKER_01 7:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 7:04

Um, and that was a very big, very big mark on my life.

SPEAKER_03 7:09

Yeah, yeah. You know, it's funny because I know a lot of your story, and I feel like there are people who've betrayed you that because you're still trying to cover them, you wouldn't even put that into betrayal. And that's funny, man. Like you, you know, when you love somebody, and actually they should be loving you and covering you, but they don't. But you're still loving them and covering them, even though they've never loved you or covered you. And betrayal can run so deep. And so we just want to get healed from it all. Um, we can't make it all go away, you know. And so this is what will happen if you, you know, don't deal with betrayal. Bitterness takes root, okay? Unhealed betrayal often turns into pain and resentment, first toward the betrayer, then toward another, and even towards God. That's what you just talked about. Uh, number two, your future relationships suffer. Without healing, you may carry suspicion and defensiveness into a relationship. You might withhold trust, affection, or vulnerability, punishing innocent people for somebody else's betrayal. Psychology calls it transference, projecting past hurts on new people. You know, as a pastor, I feel like I take a lot of abuse, not like physical abuse, but people um they project their hurts upon whoever's been caring for them and loving them. And because I'm like a spiritual father or even a representative of God, if they get mad at if they have father wounds or there's something they don't like it in their life, sometimes they'll transfer that. And it's so unfair and unfortunate. Um, jump in, whatever. Number three is your identity gets distorted. Betrayal can make you believe lies like I'm not worthy of loving, I'm not enough, without replacing those lies with God's truth, they'll become a filter through which you see yourself. Number four is you live in a prison of the past. You replay the event in your mind, reliving the pain over and over. This mental loop keeps you anchored to a season you were meant to move through, not live in. The offense starts to define you more than your calling does. And number five is you miss a God redemption story. You know, um Romans 8 28 says that all things work together for the good of those who love God and been called according to his purposes. And what I've realized about betrayal is that whenever I'm betrayed, I'm actually being identified with Jesus who was betrayed. And um, I get the opportunity to grow through that betrayal into greater compassion, into greater dimensions of the anointing and the power of God. If I don't get bitter, I get better.

SPEAKER_00 9:33

Right. I think betrayal, if you don't let it in all of those things that you j just listed, it will form your personality, it will form your mannerisms, you will become protective, you won't allow yourself to be in certain relationships, or you will only go so far in relationships to protect yourself from being betrayed. Um, so we have to be very careful not to hold on to it, but to let it go.

Practical Steps: Forgiveness and Letting Go

SPEAKER_03 10:00

Yeah, yeah. What would be your advice to someone who's listening and watching right now and they know that they deal with bitterness from betrayal and they're guarded? They're guarded. They don't trust people, they don't really want to get involved in group settings, they don't really want to deal with church, they don't really want to deal with people that they work with, they just kind of want to be left alone, they have a hard time loving again. Was there be any like advice off top by the spirit that you would give them?

SPEAKER_00 10:27

I would say that you have to deal with it. Okay. You have to look yourself face to face in the mirror and you have to deal with this. No one can do it for you. God can't do it for you. It's very much like forgiveness, and it has to be with forgiveness. You have to forgive the person who has betrayed you. And forgiveness is an unforgiveness. When you don't forgive the person who betrayed you, it's like you being locked in a jail cell and you have the key in your pocket. That key to let you out of jail is forgiveness. So you have to forgive. You have to forgive yourself, you have to forgive God, you have to forgive everyone involved.

SPEAKER_03 11:09

Wow. I'll give you guys just one little key because this is an area that I'm always working on. See, the thing about being a pastor is you you deal with thousands of people, possibly, depending upon the size of your church. And what people don't know about a pastor is that you can be betrayed hundreds of times a year, if not thousands of times. People say this, then do that. People say this, then do that. Um, one thing that I've been working on in my own soul, in my private time, is I'm giving up my right to be right. What I mean by that is that many times when you're by yourself, you can almost defend. I can't believe that person did that. I can't believe they abandoned me. I can't believe they sinned that way. I can't believe they said this in my face and did that behind my back. And it's almost like you can make a defense because you're right and they're wrong. But if you really want to release forgiveness and release that person and walk free from betrayal, you just gotta give up your right to be right.

SPEAKER_02 12:06

Right.

Choosing Vulnerability After Hurt

SPEAKER_03 12:06

Meaning that it doesn't matter that I'm right. You know what I'm saying? Lord forgive them, for they know not what they do. God bless them, God help them. You know, might not, I'm I'm working on my trust. I might not trust them, and that's fine because you don't have to. You know, but you got to come to the place where that betrayal is not. I guess another thing that I'm doing is I'm making up my mind that I will not project what's happened to me in the past on the new people. Yes. And that's a big one, especially in ministry, because when you've loved people unconditionally and you've given them platforms of opportunity, the natural propensity is to say, well, I can't trust that way no more. You got to be around me five or ten years and you got to do this and you got to do that, and make more hoops for people to jump through, and then you're being God. And so what I'm doing instead is making less hoops for people to jump through, intentionally embracing people that I do not know, giving them the benefit of the doubt, and letting people hurt me. I'm actually in a season where I'm inviting hurt because I feel like it's gonna make me stronger, because it's gonna teach me to turn the other cheek, it's gonna help me overcome evil with good. So I'm literally saying I'm okay with being hurt. And really, the only way to get free and to really love, because love has no fear. You can't love a person and be fearful that they're gonna hurt you. I have to give up my right to be right. And I also have to give up my responsibility, my protection of myself to be hurt. I'm okay with being hurt, but I'm going to love people. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 13:33

I think one of the reasons why betrayal hurts so much, you know, it's like traumatizing, um, is because you wouldn't be betrayed. Um, you wouldn't feel betrayed if you didn't trust the person, if you didn't like the person. You know, like it hurts so bad because man, I like this person. We used to hang out together, you have great memories together, or like no, even the little bit of even if it was a day that you knew each other, you and then the next day they betrayed you. The betrayal is betrayal because you trusted them, you liked them, you believed in them. My enemy love them.

SPEAKER_03 14:07

My enemy can't betray me because I'm already, they're already my enemy. I know where you are. Right. But the the the wounds come from afraid.

SPEAKER_00 14:13

But here's what I've learned in betrayal because you had that moment, and and we talk about this a lot. I do when it comes to being a pastor and being a leader in church. There's some people who have come to church and they love me, and then they've said, well, they decided that they don't believe what I believe, and now they don't like me anymore. And I'm like, oh my gosh, that hurts. But I I loved you, but I I did this for you and that for you. And and I I really liked you in the time we spent together. So what I've learned to say is like, okay, God, I thank you. I'm grateful for the time that they allowed me to lead them, that they allowed me to be a voice of God, that they allowed me to play a role in their lives.

SPEAKER_03 14:51

Even if they don't know it, I was able to benefit their life. God used me. I thought it was going to be a 10-year season. It was a 10-minute season.

SPEAKER_00 15:00

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 15:00

But at least I had the 10 minutes of influence.

SPEAKER_00 15:02

And that's where you got to be grateful.

SPEAKER_03 15:04

That's hard to do, though.

SPEAKER_00 15:05

But even when you you asked me a moment ago about like the greatest hurt in my life. The person that caused the greatest betrayal in my life is the person that allowed me to in the greatest way be like Jesus. So Jesus forgave. Like he forgave. And he was he was sinless. He did nothing. Now I can never be like Jesus. Do you know what I mean? But the person who hurt me the most gave me the greatest opportunity to forgive like Jesus forgave, to love like Jesus loved, to turn the other cheek, to say, Father, forgive them for they know not what they do, to pray for them in spite of what they did to me. That's a different perspective.

SPEAKER_03 15:53

This ain't easy, people. That's what I want you to hear. Because I listen, this is a podcast, and we can easily just say these things, but I'm honestly telling you, we work this stuff. And it's hard. It's hard. Let's just call it what it is. It's hard, but there's nothing too hard for the Lord. Yeah. So with the empowerment of the Holy Spirit, we just refuse to give in to bitterness. You can't. You just can't. You can't.

SPEAKER_00 16:18

And seeing the world from a kingdom perspective, I just had this like in my mind, like, okay, so the person who've but who's betrayed you, the person who betrayed you and I, and there's many people, but how about we focus on that person and pray for that person, thanksgiving for that person, right? Imagine the day when we are all in heaven. Imagine the day that we're all with Jesus in my heart. I hope that it's true. I hope that it comes true. I don't know. But I would pray that when I'm in heaven, I'm going to be looking for that person that betrayed me the most. I'm going to be looking, God, did they make it? God did the praise that I prayed. Did they do anything? God, you know, did they make it there? And what a day of rejoicing it will be because there's more than one person. Somebody's going to be up there. And it will just be, I don't know. I think it will give God glory.

Vision: Broken Glass to Mosaic

Scriptures for the Brokenhearted

SPEAKER_03 17:12

Yeah. Yeah. Well, the Lord, uh the reason that I wanted to talk about this today is that the Lord showed me a vision. And it was the vision of someone who had a broken heart. And I saw glass that was around them, just like shattered glass all around them. And um, then I saw the power of the Holy Spirit bringing the glass back together and making them into a beautiful mosaic. And it was a word specifically for those of you all who've had a broken heart and you feel like your life has been shattered into a million pieces all over the place. I believe you're coming into a season where the power of the Holy Spirit's going to put your heart back together. And you as a beautiful mosaic, you're you're about to be stronger than you were before. Mosaics are more unique, um, they're worth more, they're more valuable, they're one of a kind. And so the same thing that actually came to break you is what God's going to use to make you. And if that's for you, I just want you to know that God's called you to be a mosaic, and he's also near to the brokenhearted. And so I wanted to share a few scriptures to kind of go behind that today, and we can just kind of go over a few scriptures and you can tell me what you think. Psalms 34, 18 says that the Lord, the Lord is close to the brokenhearted, and he saves those who are crushed in spirit.

SPEAKER_00 18:23

That's a good reminder because when your heart is broken, sometimes it can feel like God's far away. In our mind, we think if God was close, I wouldn't feel like that.

SPEAKER_03 18:32

Right.

SPEAKER_00 18:32

But that's not true.

SPEAKER_03 18:34

Yeah, yeah. So good. Isaiah 61 and 1 says, He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom to the captives and the release from darkness of the prisoners. Of course, this was a prophetic word of the coming Messiah that was in Isaiah, but Jesus was that one who came to heal up the broken heart. Anything stick out to you from that?

SPEAKER_00 18:52

Yeah, that if you're brokenhearted, Jesus has come to set you free. One of his assignments to mend your broken heart, yes. That's why he came.

SPEAKER_03 19:00

To help the broken hearted. It's good news to know that God doesn't want me to walk around brokenhearted.

SPEAKER_00 19:05

It's like if you um get in an accident, thank God there's an emergency room.

SPEAKER_03 19:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 19:10

There's somebody to go to and they'll mend you up and get you all together. That's what Jesus is to the broken heart.

SPEAKER_03 19:16

Come on. Joel 2 and 25 says, I'll repay you for the years that the locusts um have eaten. And so the locusts, of course, represent anything that would devour, steal your time, steal your identity, steal your innocency. And I believe that this is a prophetic word for the right now generation, that God will repay those years. And I've had some years that's been lost by family members that did not understand me. So they persecuted me, church members that did not understand leadership decisions. Um, and I was just obeying God and they persecuted me. Um, people that talked about me um didn't stand with me. Um, and all of those people, God forgive them for they know not what they do.

SPEAKER_00 20:01

Amen.

Five Keys to Overcome Betrayal

SPEAKER_03 20:02

But the hours that I spent, uh, whether it was crying, whether it was thinking, man, could I have done something different? Where did I go wrong? God promises that he will repay those those hours. So the person who just went through a divorce, or the person who was in a serious relationship and you thought and you had to give the engagement ring back, or maybe there was a breakup and you just feel broken on the inside. I want you to know that God's going to repay the years that's been stolen, the time that's been stolen, and your latter shall be greater than the glory of your former. And it's important for us to have faith in God. It doesn't make sense, but it makes faith. And that faith don't make sense.

SPEAKER_00 20:40

No time wasted.

SPEAKER_03 20:41

And so here's five keys to overcome betrayal in a close relationship. Uh, number one is that you have to face the wound honestly. You can't heal what you don't reveal. That's a very important principle. Suppressing pain keeps it festering. Name what happened, how it hurt, and why it broke trust. Here's a practical tip: journaling or talking with a safe, godly friend or counselor can help you process honestly before God. So face the wound honestly. Number two would be anchor your identity in God, not the offense. What they did to you is not who you are. It doesn't define you, only God does. Betrayal often attacks your sense of self-worth, rooting your value in God's love, protects you from living out of rejection. A tip for you would be daily affirmations from scripture about your identity, identity that's in Christ.

SPEAKER_00 21:33

I think um it was said well, you cannot allow betrayal to define who you are, but allow um, you know, how you respond to betrayal. Allow your journey to overcome. Um, only God defines who you are.

SPEAKER_03 21:48

Right. Number three would be choose forgiveness, even if it, even if trust has to be rebuilt. Forgiveness is not, forgiveness is given, trust is rebuilt. Forgiveness releases you from bitterness. Rebuilding trust is a separate process that takes time and evidence. Here's a practical tip: say I release them to God's justice, even if emotions lag behind that decision. Gotta choose forgiveness.

SPEAKER_00 22:13

Forgive and live.

SPEAKER_03 22:14

Number four would be set boundaries that protect your heart. Forgiveness has no loopholes, but boundaries has no apologies. Proverbs 423 says, guard your heart, for it determines the course of your life. Boundaries prevent further damage and create the safety needed for trust to grow again. Uh, here's a practical tip. Clearly communicate what is needed for trust to be rebuilt. Time, counseling, change of behaviors. I like this one a lot because, especially in the Christian community, we're quick to forgive. But just because I forgive you or I release you doesn't mean that I trust you. Those are two different things. And just because I forgive you and I love you doesn't mean that we're going to be super close right away or even again. I mean, honestly, I know people from my past that I'm okay with loving from a distance. Like I forgive them, but I don't have anything in my heart where I desire a close relationship with them.

SPEAKER_00 23:10

Well, because you know that you can't trust them. And if there's no trust, there's no relationship.

SPEAKER_03 23:14

100%. Not only that, I also feel like every relationship is for a season, a reason, or a lifetime. And I think sometimes we have relationships that should have been a seasonal relationship and we're trying to make it a lifetime. And then sometimes we have a lifetime covenant relationship and we mistake it for a seasonal relationship. And there are some people that I know I was just in their life for a reason, in a season. I am not trying to drag it into a lifetime. I don't have the grace for it. And I actually owe God and other people stewardship of my time to give that time to somebody else. I gave it to you in that season. And I love you, you love me, but we don't have to be as close as we were. And I think that some people they struggle with that. They feel like because it was, it always needs to be.

Boundaries, Trust, and Relational Circles

SPEAKER_00 24:00

I just don't feel like because there it there's a person I can hear like a voice saying, Oh, but we used to be tight. Oh, but we used to be like this. And what's wrong with you? You don't want to hang out with me anymore. You too good for me. Now you, you know, now you think you know something. Now you go to church and stuff. Like, so those are the pressures that we feel. Like when I know, no, none of that. Like, no, I know that we were in relationship for a season and a reason, and that season's over. We don't have to be, we can't be together all day, every day after a a family and kids.

SPEAKER_03 24:32

Like, well, especially if you have people in your past that are leeches or just they just pull on you. And I've had relationships where people look at me as God instead of going to God. Yeah, I can't enter back into that relationship. That would be um, that would be a misstep getting back into a relationship in front of God.

SPEAKER_01 24:51

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 24:52

Like I'm I'm I did my part, I'm okay. We're okay, we'll see each other in heaven. I think that's very mature talk, though. A lot of people don't look at it that way, but I think it's important. There was something else that came to mind that I thought was good to add to that perspective. Um, so for me, that doesn't mean I don't love you. That don't mean that I won't be there for you if you hate me. That doesn't mean I don't pray for you, but it just means that I I'm okay with loving people from a distance. Right. And I'm okay also stewarding my time. And you have an inner circle and you have a little bit uh outer circle, and then you got a big circle. Jesus had the same, he had 70 people that as soon as he said something they didn't understand, they all deserted him. He looked to the 12, he's like, Are y'all gonna go away as well? So he's looking through circles. He got the crowd, they're gonna leave as soon as they don't like something. Then he got 12 that are like they're a little shaky, but then he got three. And those three he brought in to intimate places with them. And I think it's very important for everybody to understand who's your three, who's your 12, who's your 70.

SPEAKER_00 25:47

That's so good.

SPEAKER_03 25:47

Yeah. And so number five is this invite God to redeem the broken season. So if you want to overcome betrayal, God wastes nothing, not even betrayal. That's right. Joel 225 talks about how God restores the years that the locusts have eaten. Betrayal can become a turning point where God grows your strength, wisdom, and dependence on Him. And here's a practical tip: ask God daily, show me where you're working good from my pain. Show me where you're working. I think many times we pray God take the pain away. And um, sometimes he doesn't. Right. Sometimes he does, but many times he allows pain and um he uses it as a tool to develop something on the inside of us. And so if you're a person that's been a broken-hearted person and you've been betrayed, God, how can you use this pain for your glory?

SPEAKER_00 26:35

Yeah. It's if I'm experiencing pain, God help me find the purpose in this pain.

SPEAKER_03 26:41

Um, is there any other practical tips that you've used over the years to overcome betrayal?

SPEAKER_00 26:46

I think probably simple things like praying for people. Okay. I mean, you you you think that that's simple, but if if you keep praying for someone, your heart's gonna change toward them. If you're going before the presence of God with this person on your mouth and lifting them up, your heart's gonna change toward them. Um, and it just makes it easy to forgive.

Growing Apart Without Bitterness

SPEAKER_03 27:08

On a whole different page, I mean, like we're just giving practical advice. I just feel like there's somebody who just feels like they gotta be okay with everybody. People approval.

SPEAKER_00 27:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 27:18

And one way that you can get free from just like, man, did I mess up, man? Did I mess up? Man, did I mess up? Man, I gotta jump through this hoop for this relative and that person, is that you gotta be okay with people not being okay with you.

SPEAKER_02 27:29

Right.

SPEAKER_03 27:30

Like years ago, I realized that just because people have a problem with me, it's not my problem. I think so many times we feel like, well, they got a problem with me. That's not my problem. Right. You having a problem with me is not my problem. I don't have problems. I don't care how cash cares. And so I, you know, that's easier said than done, but I think it's it's an important place to come through because the Bible says that if you live godly, you're gonna have people who don't like you. Matter of fact, the person who has everybody speaking well of them is not in a good place. So if you're gonna live fully for God, there's gonna be some people in your life that just don't like you because you represent light. And maybe they got a little bit of darkness in them.

SPEAKER_00 28:09

You have to allow God to lead your life. You know, we're seeking God for answers. We're not seeking our parents, our friends, our congregation, any we're not seeking anyone but God for answers. Other people can help us find the voice of God, but ultimately we're gonna follow God, right? So if we listen to other people, we wouldn't live where we live.

SPEAKER_03 28:30

No, no, no.

SPEAKER_00 28:31

We would live in a different state. No, we would probably be paying other people's bills, we wouldn't have the job that we have, we wouldn't be pastors because people wouldn't like us going to church and reading the word, and that's too much. Like our whole lives would be different if we did what other people wanted us to do. You just can't do that. So if you're going to do what God says to do, people aren't going to like it. And you have to be okay with that, or else you have to do what people say and not what God says.

Prayer for Healing and Restoration

SPEAKER_03 29:00

You know where I think people really struggle with that? They like that at face value because they think it's going to come from people on the outer skirts. They don't think it's going to come from the three. Um, Judas was very close to Jesus.

SPEAKER_02 29:12

Yes, sir.

SPEAKER_03 29:12

And so you have to come to the place where you can handle being misunderstood by family members, friends, people that you thought would be there for you, ride and die. And you'll know you're really growing when those people have a problem with you and you ain't do nothing to them at all. Yes. You gave them opportunity, you blessed them, you helped them, but for some reason they got a problem with you. Then you'll know you're really walking in something and got to use the pain to really produce something on the inside of you. You know, many times it's not even that, I'll just say this for people who have relational pain. It's not even that the people are necessarily evil. And God knows it's not that you're evil, it's just that you outgrew them.

SPEAKER_02 29:49

Right.

SPEAKER_03 29:50

And if you keep on growing, there's some people that's in your life today that you're not, they're not gonna be in your life in 10 years. Not because you're bad and they're bad. Bless you. It's really just because you outgrew them. You just outgrew them.

SPEAKER_00 30:04

Even if they're your coach. And you didn't even mean to, but you just outgrown them better than you, your mentors. How many mentors have we outgrown? Not that they're bad people. They're lovely. I will I love them, you know, still, but I just went to another level with Jesus.

SPEAKER_03 30:20

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they were still on the other level. And I mean, I I love you, but I'm just not there. I just I don't relate. So that sweet communion that we had when I was on that level, it's no longer like it used to be. And I'm not a person that tries to bring what was back in the day into every day of my life.

SPEAKER_00 30:40

Right. And we can't. The only way for it to be the same is if we go and and go back down to a level that we came from. Why would we do that?

SPEAKER_02 30:48

Right.

SPEAKER_00 30:49

All we can do is say, hey, come up here. It's good up here where we are.

SPEAKER_03 30:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 30:53

And that's up to them whether they want to choose to do that or not.

Words of Knowledge: For Him and Her

SPEAKER_03 30:56

That's it. Man, I hope this has been a blessing for somebody. You know, I didn't really expect this um conversation to go that way, but I'm glad that it did. Um I have a prayer that I want to pray for those of you all who would love to repeat this prayer after us. It's going to be a prayer where you um ask God to heal your heart of betrayal and a broken heart. And um, if that's you, just say this after me.

SPEAKER_00 31:16

Say, Lord Jesus, Lord Jesus, I come to you today. I come to you today.

SPEAKER_03 31:20

I bring you my pain. I bring you my pain, my disappointment, my disappointment, and my broken heart, and my broken heart. I choose to lay down, I choose to lay down hurt and bitterness, hurt and bitterness. I forgive those. I forgive those who betrayed me who betrayed me.

SPEAKER_00 31:34

I release them, I release them into your hands, into your hands.

SPEAKER_03 31:37

Heal the places, heal the places in me, in me that's been wounded, that's been wounded, restore my trust, restore my trust in you and others, in you and others, fill my heart with your peace, with your peace, and your love, and your love. I believe.

SPEAKER_00 31:51

I believe you can make me whole again, you can make me whole again, and I receive it, and I receive it.

SPEAKER_03 31:55

Your healing right now in Jesus' name. In Jesus' name, amen. And so we believe by faith that God is healing your broken heart, and your best days are truly out in front of you. Um we're out of time for today, but man, we've enjoyed this. If you enjoyed this, you have anything you wanted to say? I feel like you have one.

Community Chat and Sharing

SPEAKER_00 32:14

I just um had a vision of a man, um, a man sitting at the table. It's like you have on a collared shirt. You look like maybe you're studying, business professional, something like that. And it's like you have the Bible open and you're taking notes and you have experienced a betrayal, um, someone that you wanted to marry, someone that you thought was going to be your wife, and you feel like your heart is broken and you don't know how you're going to overcome this. And I just want to speak the words of God, that God says that there's something better for you, there's something greater for you, but a let just let it go. I just sense that you should just let it go. Don't be afraid. You don't have to run back and beg to get her back. You don't have to jump through hoops. But God says that you are unique, that you are smart, you are successful. I even see your business succeeding. I see you being a successful man with a wife and a family that the community will look up to. And so I just want to encourage you with that, that Jesus will mend your broken heart.

Visit, Conference, and New Book

Conference Trailer & Registration

SPEAKER_03 33:15

Yeah, and I see uh a woman who's gone through um uh just a lot of heartbreak, and I see you crying tears almost like on your knees or bent over, and it's just been so painful. Um, the tears that you've been crying, and I just feel like God's gonna replace tears of sorrow with tears of joy. And I just feel like um you're a beautiful mosaic that God's been creating, and um the pain of your past doesn't equal to the pleasure of your tomorrow, and God's best for you is still out in front of you. And so um, as you pick yourself up, I believe God's gonna give you that joy and you're gonna find someone. Um, I also saw there be like labels. It's almost like you were in a relationship, and there were words that were used by the person that seemingly loved you to wound you and to label you as a misfit or not this enough or not that enough. And we send all those words back to hell where they came from because only the word of the Lord over you is true, that you're beautiful, fearfully, and wonderfully made, virtuous in the eyes of God, and you deserve somebody who would love you how you've been designed to be loved. And so just believe that that person is on the way. And uh I believe you'll find it first in God. And so we pray that those things bless you. If that spoke to you, um, leave some comments very quickly in the chat. Let's create a conversation. Um, very quickly, give us your top one, two, or three points in the chat and the comment that you took from today. We believe that sharing is caring and caring is sharing. And so if this has been good, stop right now. Share this with other people who've experienced betrayal, even people who haven't experienced betrayal, to kind of put some guardrails so that they can fight towards those things that might come in the future, you know. And um uh we hope that you do that, all right? If you're ever in Florida, come worship with us at a live church. We would love to have you any Sunday. If you're in Orlando, Tampa, Gainesville, Florida, we would love to be with you. We have a live conference, as you can see by my hat. It's coming up in less than a month. Now, I don't know who you are or where you live, but I'm telling you what, if you can get here, get on a plane, train, bus, get a bike if you have to. There's just something about the atmosphere that's filled with faith. Three days could change the next 30 years of your life. And so tickets are going fast. Get yours on today. The the link is in the show notes. And of course, oh, I got something good for you guys here at the end. We are about to launch our new book. All right, it's called Butterfly Love, and this is a modern day love story. And so if you are a reader, or even if you're not a reader, but you just love a good love story, and you want to hear the story of 25 plus years of our love and how we almost didn't make it, but God turned our hearts around. We had butterflies in the beginning of our love, and then those butterflies went away, which we call infatuation. But you can get the butterflies back again in this book, I think, from a very non-fictional way. Some people like fiction. This is like nonfiction because it's our story. But inside of our story, the Holy Spirit has weaved principles that we believe is going to help your relationship. So whether you're single or whether you're married, get your pre-order today. This book launches in the beginning of November, and we think it'll be a blessing to you. Check out the website and the show notes. And uh, we hope to see you next Thursday. All right, we'll drop a new episode Thursday at 3 p.m. Eastern Standard Time. We love you. We're praying for you. We'll see you then. Peace. A live conference 2025 is a three-day encounter designed to activate your calling, stir your faith, and connect you with something bigger than yourself. Get ready for an atmosphere full of encounters, powerful worship, anointed messages, and master classes designed to strengthen you spiritually, personally, and in your leadership. This conference creates a space for believers who want to encounter God and see their spiritual gifts. No matter where you find yourself, this is your moment. November 6th of the 8th, here in Orlando, Florida. What happens in these three days can shape the next 30 years of your life. Revival is here. Head toLaughconference.org to register now. Come ready, come hungry, leave transformed.