Doing Life with Ken and Tabatha

Submission & Faithfulness: God’s Path to Promotion

• Ken Claytor and Tabatha Claytor

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What if the real path to promotion looks nothing like hustle culture promises? We take on two charged words—submission and faithfulness—and show how they form a powerful, practical way of life that advances marriages, teams, and callings. This isn’t about losing your voice. It’s about choosing God’s order, serving with strength, and becoming the kind of person heaven can trust.

We start by reframing submission as a voluntary, faith-filled posture that prioritizes mission over ego. In marriage, we talk equal dignity with distinct roles: a wife’s trust-filled submission and a husband’s call to love like Christ—protective, sacrificial, and servant-hearted. We address the hard cases too: when to appeal, when to say no, and how to honor while obeying God above man. Then we move beyond the home into work, church, and community, where mature people bring strong ideas, align after decisions, and stop the whispering that fractures teams.

From there we dig into faithfulness—commitment and consistency over time. We unpack why God promotes finishers who steward small assignments well, why “be found faithful” is a leadership superpower, and how to make diligence visible through clarity and follow-through. Expect concrete markers of a submitted heart (teachability, tone, peacemaking) and five next steps to grow: re-surrender daily, practice honor with honest appeal, master the small things, close the loop with cadence, and keep a clean, offense-proof heart.

If you’re ready to trade striving for strength and hype for substance, this conversation will meet you with courage and clarity. Subscribe, share with a friend who leads or serves, and leave a review with the one area you’ll choose to be found faithful this week.

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i...

Setting The Theme: Heart Posture

Ken Claytor

When you say you submit to me as a husband, that's because of your maturity and your strength. It's not because I'm the best leader. It's because you're strong enough to submit as unto the Lord. So what submission does is that it shows maturity. And that's why it's hard for some people to submit because they're just not mature enough to do it. It takes faith. Hey, what's up, everybody?

Tabatha Claytor

Hey, everyone.

Submission In A Backwards Kingdom

Ken Claytor

So good to have you guys joining us again for another episode of Doing Life with Ken and Tabitha. We're pumped that you found us. And however you found us, we don't believe it's by accident. We believe it's by the will of God. You know, we pray all the time and say, God, let the people who need our podcast find our podcast. And so we're going to share with you our ups, our downs in the hope that you'll learn from our successes, but more importantly, our failures. And we've had quite a few of those to help you navigate through. But welcome. All right. If you're new to our podcast, make sure you subscribe. Hit the icon if you're on YouTube. If you're somewhere else, just hit the follow button so you can be the first to get the content when it is released. I'm excited about today's sweetheart. Yeah. Because it's a position of the heart that we want to speak to. You know, the scripture says in Proverbs 4, to guard your heart above all else, for out of it flows the issues of life.

SPEAKER_03

Yes.

Ken Claytor

And we live in a day and time where this is the information age, and so much information that we get, it's really after our heart. There is warfare. It really is. There's warfare after our heart, and sometimes we don't know it. So we got to guard our heart. And I want to talk to you, talk to our audience today about submission and faithfulness. Yes. God's path to promotion. All right. Now, years ago, I heard it said that the that we're in a backwards kingdom. So the kingdom of God is not like the kingdoms of the world. The kingdoms of this world they operate a certain way. The kingdoms of our God, the way up is down. And the way to get is actually to give. It's backwards. So when I say the way up is down, what is that? What are you getting?

Tabatha Claytor

It's more scripture. The first shall be last and the last shall be first.

Ken Claytor

Okay.

Tabatha Claytor

The servant shall be the greatest. You know, all of that. I think it is that, you know, when it comes to God, God says He doesn't just love, but He is love. And so love has an object of affection. It's other people. God loves other people. For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son. Yeah. Right. So Jesus died on a cross. He took our sins on himself so that we wouldn't have to pay the price, right? And so I think that when it comes to other people and submission to other people, it's all about love. When you have a love for people and a love for someone, it's easy to submit when you need to submit, you know? And I think that we submit in all areas of our lives. We submit to rules all day, every day. We submit to laws, you know. Um, you we we submit to uh traffic rules, we submit to rules when we go to school, we submit to rules whenever we enter into a public place. Okay. There's rules everywhere. So we're submitting all day, every day. Um, and so I I don't know. I I personally like submission.

SPEAKER_04

Okay.

Tabatha Claytor

I think submission again is like you said, the heart issue. Um it's something that I do as unto the Lord.

Redefining Wives Submitting To Husbands

Ken Claytor

Okay. And how would you define submission then?

Tabatha Claytor

Submission is um I want to say like um being willing to be in second place, being willing to bow the knee, okay, uh, being willing willing to say, okay, um, we'll do it your way.

Ken Claytor

Okay.

Tabatha Claytor

Or okay, you first, I'll go second.

Ken Claytor

Okay. Um, why do you feel like this is that's a hot topic word? Like when people hear submission, they don't hear it like warm and fuzzy. They don't hear like, yeah, that's something that I want. That's something that I need. I want to submit. It's almost more like, oh like not not like here we go, but what's the tone? When people hear submission, what do you think the most popular tone is?

Tabatha Claytor

It's almost like I think it is it's a tone directed toward women, you know, that women should submit to men, oh a wife should submit to a husband, um, and that has been taken negatively. Um, I personally don't have that view and never did, but I I do understand that that has been something that people don't like. Um, I think that if you are a prideful person, if you don't believe in God and you know uh that that yeah, you probably don't like submission, period.

Ken Claytor

Well, the whole comment you made about bowing the knee, I'm not bowing to nobody.

Tabatha Claytor

Right.

Ken Claytor

Um, you know, submission is like they hear slavery when I hear bravery. Um, so I think it's been misdefined and misconstrued. But I'm saying that it's a God's path to promotion because when I look at the scripture, I look at it as a way, the way up is down, so to say. And I think I started off saying that that the way up is down. Yeah, that means that the servant is the greatest, and if you want to go high, you got to get low. This is a backward kingdom. And when I say the way you get is you give, meaning that that's not our motive. I'm not giving just to get. My motive is love, but there is a harvest that's attached to the seed. So it's a backwards kingdom. I think submission is one of those biblical principles that seem like it's putting me back, but it's actually moving you ahead. But you you in your own admission, you just said you don't look at submission that way. Like when it comes to wife submit to your husband, how do you look at it then?

Tabatha Claytor

Um I I I don't look at it in a negative light.

Ken Claytor

Okay.

Tabatha Claytor

Um, I think that submission is in order for someone to submit, in order for me to submit to you, that means that we're two equals. Like when when like if I had a dog, right? I want a dog, I don't have one right now. But if I had a dog, that dog would submit to me, you know, basically no, I'm I'm higher than the dog. There's no argument here, right? So, but between man and woman, we're two equals, you know, so there's no argument here. It's it's not an argument like that you're better than me, that you're more holy than me, you know, like anything like that. It's just that, hey, we're two equals, and you have a God-given assignment as the head of this family to be my husband and to cover me. And my assignment is to submit to that, is just to, and that's all. That's all.

Ken Claytor

Yeah, I I think that's interesting. So your submission doesn't have to do with value or worth, it has to do with assignment and maybe even office. That's like what I hear.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

Ken Claytor

Think of it this way. So if you're on a team and you have a head coach, yeah, it's not like the coach is better than the player in value. Like they're both human beings, right? They both have a lot of worth. But the assignment says that as a player, I need to submit to the instructions of my coach. Same as it is with a general. You got a general in the army. It's not like he's better in value than the soldiers.

SPEAKER_02

Right.

Ken Claytor

But when it comes to the the hierarchy or the order that's been set, you need to submit to your to who's, you know, there. So let's talk about that husband and wife submission piece for a second, because I feel like that's a sticking point for some women. And I want to get more out of you, of your perspective of what that means to you. Because I feel like now we know the Bible talks about mutual submission.

SPEAKER_02

Yes.

Ken Claytor

It talks about submitting one to another. Yes. But then when it comes to the order of the husband and wife, it does say wives submit to your husbands. Um, what does that mean to you? Like, what does that mean to you? Like, what is your feel of it? How have you processed that? And what would you want other um wives to know about that assignment to submit to your husbands? And do you even believe that? Or do you believe that, you know, something different?

Order, Roles, And Servant Leadership

Tabatha Claytor

Yeah. Um, I do believe it. I I believe um as a wife, I believe in submitting to my husband. Um, I look at it from the perspective of God created male and female. Um, he created the man and the woman. Um, and as husband and wife, you know, we're united together as one, and he gave a structure for the family unit. He created the man with different uh you the man is uniquely designed to protect and to cover and to provide for the family. That's how he made you, that's your assignment. And God also uniquely made the woman to be a wife, to support and to give birth to, right? To nurture. And that's my unique gift. And so I embrace that. I understand that's how we've been created as husband and wife, man and woman. And so when I now, when the Bible tells me that you are the head, meaning that you are the covering for the family, you're going to be my umbrella, you know, out in the rain and the elements, meaning that you're going to protect me from the rain. You're going, as long as I'm under your covering, I'm going to be safe. I like that. I found, I find that comforting. I trust you that you're going to hear from God and you're going to keep me safe in my family. As a woman, I understand that you are even physically the stronger vessel. Please keep me safe. I don't want to be out here fighting men. I don't want to be out here in the elements getting rained on. Thank you for your umbrella of safety and protection. So for me, I love it because I understand how God created us, you know, and and I'm like, okay, yeah, I'm gonna play my role.

Ken Claytor

So you don't look at, so when you hear submission, you don't hear it from a negative spin.

Tabatha Claytor

I'm not threatened by it as a positive spin. It's safety for me.

Ken Claytor

And why do some hear hear it from a negative spin, you think?

Tabatha Claytor

I think that they may not understand who they are in Christ. They don't understand how God created them and how God created the family to function. Or if they don't understand it, they don't just don't agree with it and don't like it.

Ken Claytor

And I I do think that some men um use it as a badge of domination.

Tabatha Claytor

Domineering, yeah.

Ken Claytor

Or being domineering, and it's almost like, well, I'm the man, like I'm the head. I'm meaning that I'm the dictator, what I say goes. And I don't look at your submitting to me that way. So when the Bible tells me that I'm the head, my perspective is that I am the biggest servant leader.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

Ken Claytor

So my job is to make your dreams come to pass, to cover you, and to love you like Christ loved the church. So to me, the the call for a husband to love his wife like Christ loved the church is higher than the call to submit to your husband, because it is me submitting to you. Like Jesus submitted his life to us all when he put himself on a cross and he died a sinner's death and rose on the third day. So if I'm to love you that way, included in that love is submission, respect, honor, covering. And so to me, if we if we uh are gonna get one new car, you're gonna get it first. If we're gonna um buy a house, we're probably gonna lean towards which one you want over what I want. I'm gonna try to make what you want. And that's to me is great servant leadership. So I think it's been misdefined on both ways. So it I don't know, my my my encouragement for wives to be is when you hear submit to your husband, you don't hear slavery. You hear protection, you hear or the order of God, you hear something that actually brings life and value to you. That's actually a good thing, not a bad thing.

Tabatha Claytor

Yeah, I love it. And I mean, I love you. I trust you, I respect you. I know that you have my best interest at heart. If I'm gonna submit to anyone, it would be you.

Ken Claytor

Yeah, yeah. So uh so I guess we can conclude that submission has benefits.

Tabatha Claytor

Yes.

Ken Claytor

Um, any of them come off top of your head? What are the what are the benefits of submission? And watch this. Let's let's let's because I I want to talk to everybody who's listening, not just husband and wife, because you need to submit in the workplace, there's gonna be submission. Yes. In the house of God, in the church, there's gonna be submission. When it comes to those who are in authority, whether it be political, whether it be um police officers, there's gonna be need to be submission. As it relates to children in the home and other parents, it's gonna need to be submission. As it relates to just living life with people in general, we're gonna have to submit one to another. Yes. So what's the benefit? Anything come to mind of submission?

Benefits Of Submission Beyond Marriage

Tabatha Claytor

Um, you know, I'm reminded what we just talked about is, you know, when when you it's humility, when you bring yourself low, um, then God will promote you, then then you will be exalted. It's like the servant shall be the greatest, the first shall be last. It's I think when you submit to other people, it's a way of lifting them up, it's a way of supporting them. It's and I think it's just honorable. I don't know what the benefit would be.

Ken Claytor

I think you're more like Christ when you live that way. Yeah. When I look at the life of Jesus, um, I see someone who would wash the feet of his disciples and then turn around and say, What I've done to you, go do to others.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

Ken Claytor

Now, he's the Lord of all, Emmanuel, God with us, but he's white washing his disciples' feet. So it's like his um what he exemplified to us was actually doing the the little things, um, lifting up others. Submission. That's basically what it is. There's a scripture that comes to mind and it says, Who is greater? The one who sits at the table, the one who serves table.

SPEAKER_01

Right.

Ken Claytor

And most people say, well, the one who's sitting at the table eating the steak dinner. No, but Jesus says the one who serves the table is greater than the one who sits at the table. Meaning that the kingdom of our God is diametrically opposed to the kingdom of this world. It makes no sense. It's the opposite. So you would think that it's better to have your feet up and people serve you, but Jesus says, No, it's better that you take care of people and you humble yourself. Right. And you submit and you serve them. So I guess my best answer to that would be it's just Christ-likeness in us. Yeah. You know what I mean?

Tabatha Claytor

Yeah. I was reminded in the Bible, two of Jesus' disciples were fighting with each other, saying, Hey, Jesus, who's going to be the greatest in the kingdom of heaven? You know? And they each wanted to sit by his side. Um, and it that that was the wrong way of going about things. It was just like the servant is the greatest. How do you you know that being the greatest isn't the one who's going to preach the best or be, you know, uh up here, you know, with Jesus all the time. The greatest one is the one who is serving.

Ken Claytor

Yeah. So to me, the benefits of submission is this um it is a pathway to promotion, godly promotion.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

Ken Claytor

Um, you become more like Christ. You're more like Jesus when you're submitted, you're more like the devil when you're rebellious, when you're rebellious. Um, anything else benefits?

Tabatha Claytor

Wow. No, but it did make me think, well, what's the opposite of submission?

Ken Claytor

Because well, let me define it very quickly, and then we'll be able to So submission, biblical submission is voluntary. It's the voluntary, faith-filled posture of the heart where a believer yields to God's order and to the people he places in rightful roads of care and oversight for the sake of love, unity, and mission. It's not passive or demeaning, it's an act of choice to honor, cooperate, and serve under God's authority so that his will can flourish. Okay. I like to define it this way: sub under mission. Sub that that pre prefix. Is it prefix? Whatever, sub. I don't know. Yeah, submission. Let's call sub. So it is under mission. It's you're coming under another person's mission. Okay. And so when you look at submission that way, um, so when you work in an organization, it's not about your vision. It's about you submitting to the vision.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

Ken Claytor

It's not about your mission, it's about you submitting to the mission. And the people who do not do well on an organizational level or a church level really are the people who have no clue how just to bow the knee.

SPEAKER_02

Right.

Ken Claytor

Matter of fact, that seems weird. That terminology seems weird. That is a very biblical terminology that all the time there's times when you're right and I have to bow the knee. That just means that, okay, you have your way. Right. And there's times that you have to bow the knee. Right. To me, that's the posture of submission.

What Submission Is And Isn’t

Tabatha Claytor

And I think that sometimes you submit even when you are right, but you're under leadership, you're under authority. Yeah. You know, so even on a job, um, you know, I've worked, you know, in different jobs before, and maybe I was right and I didn't agree with the way that they're doing things. And I know, you know, one of the worst things is, I mean, even being in college, I remember being put on like a group assignment and the person leading the group, nobody wanted to lead the group. And then the person leading the group, they just, they just suck. They're just not good. It's like, oh my gosh. I remember just taking over, like, okay, just here, I'll do it. I'll do everything.

Ken Claytor

I remember that happened even in church before. Yeah. You'd be like, the team leader is really not that good. It's like, oh my God. How do I keep a submitted heart is unto the Lord?

Tabatha Claytor

Right.

Ken Claytor

That is the trick for every second chair leader. And most people are not first chair. You don't even want the weight of first chair. Right. That's what I want to, I would say that to wives. If you have a husband who is the head, you don't want the weight of the head. You don't want the warfare, the persecution, the pain, or the problems that come with the first chair. And so, like, if you're under a leader, like just be the so easy to lead and be and breathe fresh winds, so to say, on the first chair. Right. You know what I'm saying? But as a second chair leader, which most people are, you got to figure out how to submit as unto the Lord, even when you don't agree or you see something different. Yeah. You know, me, I've always tried to hire strong people. That's I just I want to hire people that can think independently. I want to hire people that are strong. But if they're strong and not submit it, they don't last long. I can't use them. Right. You have to be strong, but you have to know how, okay, you've been heard. We heard what you said, but we don't want to do that. Right. And you got to act like the decision that we made, you made it yourself. Because if you go out and start talking to other people, now you're a real part of the problem. Right. We call it whispering. We call it dissension. We call it seeds of discord. And that's why a lot of people don't know that they get fired so easy. It's not because you don't see things, it's because you don't know how to submit.

Tabatha Claytor

Yeah.

Ken Claytor

This submission piece is really important.

Tabatha Claytor

It is. I think people feel like, oh, yeah, well, I got fired from that job because of, you know, my manager, da da da da da, and this person, da da da da. And it's always the excuse on someone else. And the thing is, is that you could be right. They could be whatever, but it wasn't your job to judge them. It was your job to do what they told you to do. That's why we pay you.

Ken Claytor

It was your job to make them shine. Yes. I look for people to make them shine. I remember being under bad leadership, and I'm going to try to do everything I can to make you look better. Yes. That's when you that's when, and God will kind almost like David moment where he'll come get you and promote you in the right time.

Tabatha Claytor

That's how you get promoted.

Ken Claytor

This is what I learned about submission. Submission is not a position of weakness, but a position of strength. Yes. It takes two equals to submit. You already said that. Oh, yes. Number two, submission is not slavery, it's bravery. When people hear submission, they hear slavery, but it's not slavery. It takes a mature person to submit as unto the Lord. It's not what I have to do, it's what I get to do. And this is what I've learned. Number three, submission is not a is not submission until you're asked to do something you don't want to do. Let me make sure I'm clear. Submission is not submission until you're asked to do something that you don't want to do. As long as you're asked to do it and you want to do it, no submission is needed. So for example, if you say, hey man, um, I really feel like I'm called to be a worship leader, and we let you be a worship leader, there was no submission that was needed. But if you come and say, hey, Pastor, I'm called to be a worship leader, and we say, Praise God, can you serve in the parking lot? That's when submission is needed. Submission is not submission until you are asked to do something that you don't want to do. And there's a lot of people getting thrown out of marriage, you're getting thrown out of businesses, you're getting thrown out of success, you're getting thrown out of the anointing. You have no favor on your life because you just don't know how to submit. It is not about you all the time. Right. And I think like anybody who's a part of an organization or a church, you got to realize that that vision is so much bigger than you. Like the vision right now of our church, it's bigger than you, and it's even bigger than me. Yes. Like what God's doing in a live church, if I want to sin and mess up, God will probably just raise up somebody else and keep it going because it is so much bigger than me. Right. And it's amazing the people who almost think like she thought the whole plane was supposed to do like what the man, he got. And it was in first class. Like he probably paid a lot of money for the seat. You know, what you want me to do? Take my hat off? Like, it's just such a weird, prodful.

Tabatha Claytor

Yeah. I think it's in every area of life, you know, their submission. And anyone that you see that is successful in any arena of life, athletes, music, Hollywood, businesses, CEOs, I mean, whatever it is.

Ken Claytor

Whatever it is.

Tabatha Claytor

They have submitted. They might be on top right now, but they have submitted.

Submitting Under Imperfect Leadership

Ken Claytor

Or they had a coach. Even sports that have like, it's like you against the other person, tennis, uh, golf, boxing. Oh, you better submit to your coach in your in your corner, right? And your trainers. Right. You know, you can go out there, get your block knocked off if you don't submit. You know what I'm saying? Like, you I think every person, especially in the Christian world, you need somebody that'll be in your face and say, drop and give me 10.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah.

Ken Claytor

Well, who you think you are? I thought I was your coach. I thought I was your coach and leader. So what a coach does is pushes you beyond the place you thought you were going to give up. And then we got, you know, people get so offended. Like you can't never even stretch yourself. You can never grow because it's just got to be your world. Submission is just one of those things. So what is submission? First and foremost, all submission begins with God. You can't submit to people if you're not first submitted to God. So we submit to God in His Word, first and foremost. Then it's mutual among believers. We submit one to another out of reverence for Christ, humility, teachability, all of those things. Then it's an order of relationship. So you got submission when it comes to marriage, church leadership, you have elders, you have mentors, uh, you got civic work life. Uh it's not about superiority, it's about roles.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

Ken Claytor

Um, and then you have active obedience and willing cooperation. It looks like listening, honoring, follow agreed direction, giving the benefit of the doubt, offering solutions. Uh that's what submission is. Anything else come to mind with that? Um, what submission isn't, it's not blind compliance to sin or abuse.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

Ken Claytor

You you we never submit to what violates scripture or consciousness. Uh you know, you got to report abuse, flee from it. Um, submission is not silence. Biblical submission includes honest appeal and respectful disagreement. Submission is not um worthlessness. The submitted person bears God's image and shares equal value and dignity. Uh submission isn't um uh it's not enabling irresponsibility. It partners with responsible leadership and calls it higher when needed. And so that's just a little bit about like what submission is and what it isn't.

Tabatha Claytor

I think submission isn't weak. It doesn't mean that you're foolish, it doesn't mean that you can't think for yourself or speak for yourself.

Ken Claytor

When you say you submit to me as a husband, that's because of your maturity and your strength. It's not because I'm the best leader, it's because you're strong enough to submit as unto the Lord. So what submission does is that it shows maturity. And that's why it's hard for some people to submit because they're just not mature enough to do it. It takes faith.

Tabatha Claytor

And I think honestly, when you talk, when we talk about submission, what are we talking about here? It's not submitting to anything crazy. Like when we talk about me submitting to you as my husband, what am I submitting to? Us, you know, having a good life, I'm gonna submit to that. Us, you know, uh living in a certain place or doing a certain thing, I'm gonna submit to that.

Ken Claytor

Well, uh what that does bear a question then, like what if you are a wife and your husband isn't a good husband? Are you to submit to him then?

Tabatha Claytor

What does that mean? What is he asking you to do?

Ken Claytor

Um, all right, let's just throw out some stuff. What if he's like, I don't want you going to church?

Tabatha Claytor

I probably wouldn't submit to that.

Ken Claytor

Why is that?

Tabatha Claytor

I would ask the Lord, you know. First I would pray. I would ask some, I would, I would call a pastor or two and say, hey, my husband feels like this. What do you think I should do? And um I would have much conversation with my husband. Hey, if you know, what can let me, you know, I would I would have I would negotiate and negotiate. And I personally feel like I um know how to finesse my husband enough and care for you enough enough, and I know how to persuade you enough that I could get you to say yes and let me go to church.

Ken Claytor

I mean, at first when you're answering it, I'm thinking like this is a lot of words, just to say no, you do whatever the word tells you to do. However, what I think you're saying is that I'm going through it in my mind, like completely. You're trying to work him over to where it doesn't cause a beef.

SPEAKER_04

Yes.

Marks Of A Submitted Heart

Ken Claytor

So what you're doing is you're going to obey God, but the way in which I go about obeying God is trying to include him as much as you possibly can so that he will actually say, Okay, baby, whatever, you just go to church. You know what I'm saying? But I think that's important. I mean, what if the guy is like, he's just not a good person? You know, I'm just thinking about the person who's married, and maybe it's both ways, but let's just say they're married to someone and they're a bum. They're a bum. And uh, well, you probably shouldn't have married a bum, but now that you are, his grace is sufficient for you. So you're gonna have to figure this one out. Yeah. So but let's just say that they are just they're not leading at all. I'm just trying to say, I don't know, maybe in the comments somebody can help us because I'm just trying to figure out what is the everydays person, what are they dealing with in their house? So they they're married to a husband, and he just he's not together that much. He's not a leader. He's he's at the pool hall, he's just hanging out a little bit, he's he's not responsible. How does a wife submit to that?

Tabatha Claytor

Um I I think you just submit to whatever level that you can get on. Um there's he's probably not doing a whole lot to submit to, and he doesn't care whether she submits or not. If he's not working the principles of God, he don't even know enough about this to know what submission is. He just knows that he comes home and he has food to eat and he got a clean house and that, and you know, probably sex at the end of the night, that's all he cares about. I don't know. Um, and so for me, what I would say is, okay, I'm gonna go to church and I'm gonna pray. I'm gonna do all those things. I'm gonna believe the word that my that you know, my my lifestyle will win him over. And if the best that he ever does is, you know.

Ken Claytor

Yeah, I think we can go through a big rabbit hole. I'm I'm thinking about like real life situations. You know, a husband wants to leave and go to another church, the wife knows that that's not the will of God. Does she follow him? Um, husband doesn't want to tithe. He comes to church, but he doesn't want to give. Does she tithe? So I think it all of it goes back to what does the word say? How do you live life with wisdom? Yeah. What is the Holy Spirit directing you to do? Yeah. Get multitude of counsel because everything has a little bit of gray to it.

Defining Faithfulness: Commitment And Consistency

Tabatha Claytor

There's no one way. Yeah.

Ken Claytor

But I think submission, once again, is a position of the heart, even more so than the action. Like your heart can be submitted, and I'm submitted to you, but I don't agree with how you're how you're leading this. And just you just tell, hey, I want to go with the word of God, okay? Now, count this one on me, but I want to I want to obey God. Most, most, 95% of people are gonna be like, okay, well, just do what you feel convicted to do, even if they're not that.

Tabatha Claytor

And if they're not that, there's other issues that are greater than that submission thing that need to be dealt with.

Ken Claytor

I wouldn't tell a woman or a wife just to follow your husband into a place that you know is gonna hurt the family, hurt him, hurt you.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

Ken Claytor

That's that's just like, okay, just hold on. You got a little bit more juice than that. Because if you ever stand up and like, sweetheart, I just don't see it that way. I'm listening. Even if I'm fighting, I'm kind of listening. You know, I'm saying, baby, I'm not with that, you know. And so I think that there's there's a balance there.

Tabatha Claytor

Yeah, I just find that, you know, as a wife, you you you always come through the door of honor. Baby, I I honor what you're saying. I honor you, I respect you. I just disagree.

Ken Claytor

Right.

Tabatha Claytor

Can we talk about this some more?

Ken Claytor

That's so good. That's so good. And so, anyway, here's the marks of a submitted heart. Okay, humility and teachability. We need it. Yeah, quick to less and slow to speak. Honor in tone and words, even honor towards people that aren't honorable. Okay, no, no contempt, no gossip. How about this one? Responsibility and excellence, doing your part well. That that's that's the marks of a submitted heart. Peacemaking, seeking unity without sacrificing truth, courage to appeal, speaks up respectfully and with clarity.

Tabatha Claytor

Right.

Ken Claytor

Being easy to lead. You know, as a leader, I'm looking for people that are easy to lead. Yeah. Okay. Doesn't mean you're a chump. It just means that at the end of the day, you're easy. We don't have to fight you to have a meeting or or make a decision. And I'm looking for people that are faithful.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

Ken Claytor

And I want to talk about the faithfulness part because we call this submission and faithfulness. Talk to me. What is faithfulness to you?

Tabatha Claytor

Faithfulness, it's just, I would describe it as never giving up. It's not giving up on people, um, believing in people, believing the best, having a good attitude. You know, I know that's not technically faithfulness, but it's just believing for the best and not giving up.

Ken Claytor

I would look at that as love, but I mean that's part of I mean faithfulness. I don't know. Faithfulness to me is showing up doing the same things the same way. I heard it said this way before. It's when you are doing what you were last asked to do with consistency. I don't know. Isn't there a scripture in the Bible where it was like, I think it was about the ten talents, like one got five talents and then went and made another five, one got two and went and made another two, one went and hit his Lord's money, and he came back and said, Oh, you faithful, faithless servant. Basically, I entrusted something to your care and you didn't increase it. Like when I came back, you didn't make it better. I just think that there's something about faithfulness. It's like I'm gonna steward this like it's mine. It's almost like the scripture says to be faithful over the little.

SPEAKER_01

That's good.

Ken Claytor

God will make you ruler over the much. One scripture says to be faithful over that which belongs to another man's like it's your own.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

Ken Claytor

And I just feel like, especially when you are an employee, why don't you do your job like you the owner of the company? Be faithful like it's your own. Be faithful over the little. A lot of people like to be faithful over the big things. But the question is, can you be faithful over the little things? So before we were pastors, we cleaned the church. I mopped the church, I painted, I shoveled snow, I did a bunch of little things that nobody ever gave me an applause for, but God saw it. I did it as unto the Lord. So I don't know. Faithfulness to me, and here's here's just like a working definition, is steady, loyal obedience to God over time. It's keeping your word, fulfilling your assignments, sorting what God entrusts to you because He's faithful. Yes. It's consistency rooted in covenant, not convenience. That faithfulness of God then spills out into faithfulness to others. Simply put, it's found in two words commitment and consistency. Commitment and consistency. Commitment and consistency. That's how I would kind of define faithfulness. Why do you think that's so important for believers, this faithful piece?

Tabatha Claytor

Wow. I mean, that's life. Yeah. You know, it we every single day, every 24 hours, we're going to repeat a process. Yeah. And so every 24 hours, we want to be found faithful and consistent doing what Jesus told us to do.

Ken Claytor

It's found faithful. Because that's what faithfulness is. You have to be found faithful. So if I say, Hey, can you can you steward the kids' area? And if I go away for 10 months and I come back and you don't even go to our church any longer, you wasn't found faithful. Right. But when I go away and come back in 10 months and we got more kids than ever, and all of the kids' staff is more healthy than ever, I find you faithful.

SPEAKER_02

Right.

Ken Claytor

And when you find a faithful person, you want to promote them. It's like a faithful man who can find. Wow. And a faithful person, the scripture says, will abound with the blessing. And I just feel like I've seen, like we just celebrated the Geistweights, who are Pastor Melanie, she's been with our church almost 19 years now, and she's about to retire this year. She's a person who's been found faithful. So what I'm thinking in my mind is, how can we bless her?

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

Promotion Comes To The Faithful

Ken Claytor

I mean, just like because a faithful person shall abound with the blessing. And as a person who's been doing life with a faithful person, I've seen people come, I've seen people go. All I'm thinking about is like, how can we bless her? Yeah. And I believe that when we're faithful, God looks at us and says, How can I bless them? Right. Because a faithful person will abound with the blessing. Why is faithfulness so important, like in the church context?

Tabatha Claytor

Um, why is it so important? I don't know. I think you don't be it's important because you don't want to be found unfaithful. You don't want to be faithful. I don't think we would get anything done. You know, we're serving the kingdom, we're building the kingdom of God, we're healing the sick and and and praying for people. Um, so if we aren't faithful, that stuff doesn't get done. If we aren't faithful to do what the Bible commands us to do, if we aren't faithful to go to church on Sunday and not forsake the assembly together of our people, if we're not faithful to read the word and study the word and live a holy lifestyle, to fast and pray, um, to do all of those things, if we're not faithful, nothing gets done.

Ken Claytor

You know what's funny is that I think a lot of people now, this hasn't been for a long time, they look at our ministry and they say, Wow, how how much have they grown? What kind of impact? Wow. Multiple campuses and multiple cities and even different nations. Um, but we're really not that good. It's not like we're the best preachers, the best podcasters, the best leaders. I think we're just faithful.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah.

Ken Claytor

To be honest with you. I think we're just faithful. And if there's anything that I want a person to learn from my life, it's that.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah.

Ken Claytor

Just be faithful. We've just shown up in our marriage day after day, month after month. We've shown up for our kids day after day, month after month. We've shown up in our church day after day, month after month. I've seen people leave our church, come back ten years later with tears in their eyes and say, I just didn't get it.

Tabatha Claytor

Yeah.

Ken Claytor

But we're still doing the same thing, saying the same things.

Tabatha Claytor

Still here, 26 years of marriage.

Five Ways To Grow Stronger

Ken Claytor

Anything that I want people to learn from my life is just keep doing the same things God's way, day after day, even in pain, even when nobody's applauding you, even when nobody sees you, because a faithful person will abound with the blessing. God's looking for faithful people, man. And I know it's important in marriage because if you're married to somebody who's unfaithful, you don't have a relationship. Because you're cheating on me with somebody else, you're flirting with somebody else, you got one phone over here, one phone I don't know about, because you have not developed a faithfulness. So before you say I do, you want to ask yourself, do I trust that this person's going to be faithful? Faithfulness is a fruit of the spirit that has to be developed, and it's so important. And so, in closing, here's five ways to grow in submission and faithfulness. Number one, re-surrender daily. Submission starts with Jesus, not people. Number two, is practice honor plus honest appeal. Biblical submission includes respectful feedback, it's not silence. Okay. Number three is master the small things, faithfulness in the little. God promotes finishers who steward small assignments well. Number four, close the loop. Clarity, cadence, consistency. Remember those three C's. Faithfulness is visible, clear expectations, follow through, build trust. Okay. And number five, keep a clean heart. You got to offense-proof your spirit. Offense and hidden sin corrode submission and faithfulness. And um offense is a stumbling block that wants to trip up every believer. And at some place you got to overcome and pass the test of offense to pass go and collect$200. We're out of time for today. I hope you guys enjoyed our podcast today because we enjoy sharing the word with you. Um, we'd love to hear from you, man. Could you write us, just share with us your testimony, your life change story about how this podcast has been making a difference in your marriage and also in your personal life. This is first and foremost a marriage podcast, but it's also a personal growth podcast. We got hundreds of episodes. Um take a take a moment to binge watch at some point. I believe you'll be glad that you did. If you're ever in Florida, come worship with us at a live church. You can also join us if you don't have a church home to connect with right now. In between churches, you can join us online every Sunday at 9 45 Eastern Standard Time. And we would love to worship with you. Okay. We'll see you next Thursday. We love you. Peace.

Contributor

Ken Claytor

Host
Head Shot

Tabatha Claytor

Host