Doing Life with Ken and Tabatha

What To Do When People Don’t Like You

• Ken Claytor and Tabatha Claytor

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In this episode of Doing Life with Ken & Tabatha, we talk about how to deal with rejection, criticism, and being misunderstood — especially when you’re trying to follow God and build something meaningful.

If you’ve ever wondered:

• Why don’t they like me?
• Why do people talk about you when you’re doing good?
• How do you keep your confidence when people criticize you?

This conversation is for you.

Pastor Ken and Tabatha unpack 10 real reasons people don’t like you, what the Bible says about persecution, and how to stay confident without becoming bitter or defensive.

You’ll learn how to:

• Handle rejection without losing confidence
• Stop living for people’s approval
• Protect your peace when people misunderstand you
• Set boundaries while still loving others
• Stay faithful to what God has called you to do

Sometimes criticism isn’t a sign you’re doing something wrong.

Sometimes it’s confirmation you’re moving in the right direction.

Because real confidence isn’t everyone liking you.

Real confidence is liking who God made you.


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i...

Watch The Fruit Of My Life

Ken Claytor

So, okay, y'all don't like me. When people don't like me, I'm like, okay, watch. Okay, watch, watch the fruit of my life. You don't like my doctrine. Okay, watch what it produces in the earth. You don't like my hair? I don't care. You don't like this about me. Watch me have a marriage for 27 years. You thought I shouldn't even have got married. Watch me win.

Tabatha Claytor

There is an enemy that does not like you, and there will always be opposition. So let's just consider this normal. If you're doing something good, you're gonna have opposition.

Why Approval Can’t Run You

Ken Claytor

I can't live my life on the opinions of other people because people don't have a heaven or a hell to put me in. And I'm gonna live my life for the audience of one. And as long as God be for me, then who can be against me? Hey, what's up, everybody? Welcome to another edition of Doing Life with Ken and Tabitha. We are pumped to have you guys join us on today. We feel like we got a good one for you today. We really do. Um, if you're new to our podcast, please take a moment very quickly and just hit the subscribe button. If you're watching on YouTube, hit the alert icon. We want you to be the first to get the content whenever it's released. And we release a new episode every Thursday at 3 p.m. And we're just honored and happy to have you join us. However, you found us, we don't believe it's an accident. And we want to do life with you and we want to grow together. And so, sweetheart, I want to jump into today. Today we're going to be talking about what to do when people don't like you. And specifically without losing confidence, because that can kind of be challenging. You know, what I found is um the more platform you have, the more successful you become. Even when you step out, let's say that you grew up in a small town, but you decide to go to a big town, or you grew up um living a certain way and you just decide to do something different, even the people that love you might not understand you. And so I see it in the life of Joseph. I see it in the life of many believers today. And many people don't understand that that's just a part of life and they don't know what to do with it. But I don't know, just what is your thoughts about that? Have you ever struggled with people not liking you? Or, you know, what's your thought?

Tabatha Claytor

I feel like, you know, my first thought is I do not care.

Ken Claytor

Yeah, you don't care. I care more that you don't care.

Tabatha Claytor

Why do you care if people like you? And I think it's because, not that I've haven't had the challenges, but I think it's because I grew up in a family where we voice our opinion, you know, like we, I mean, you're, you know, I feel like my mom didn't like me. I feel like, you know, my brother didn't like you, my sister didn't like me. Like, who cares? Like we would get into arguments like, what are you doing? I mean, just yell at each other, scream at each other. I'm not saying that it was right, but it was just like, who cares? You know, that kind of tough love kind of thing. And so I just carried that with me.

When Growth Triggers Pushback

Ken Claytor

And it's a good, a great makeup. And I noticed that about you, and I admire that about you, that you really don't give a care about what other people think about. I care about other people about you, but not what they think about you. And so I'm not there yet. It's always something that I'm growing in. And maybe we'll talk about people approval a little bit, but I feel like this is a big deal, and this is not like elementary what we're talking about today. This is collegiate level. This is not like I'm on the playground and a kid took my lollipop. Right. Um, they don't like me. No, this is more like I have real people who come up against me. I have critics. Yeah. Um, I have people that I work with that don't like me for any reason. I have a family member for some reason that they just oppose me all of the time. Or the people who feel like I'm doing so much good for other people, but it's like I'm always getting this backlash. I want to help you today. Um matter of fact, you got to stick with us to the end of today because we're gonna give you some practical keys of how to overcome that feeling. But I think like, you know, I'm always like, let's normalize that a little bit and maybe we'll look to the scripture. Um, but you know, for you, I don't know. I feel like you're like one of the most liked people on the planet. So it's a little bit unfair. You know, even sometimes I see in the comments, oh, Pastor Tapitha, your hair, oh my God, your makeup. It's just like I'm chopped liver, just sitting over here beside you. I'm just this dude that's hanging out with people. I'm a girl. Okay. Yeah.

Tabatha Claytor

And that's how we communicate. No, I think that um this is so important. It's such an important topic because I talk to so many people who um are hindered in life because they are afraid to step out and do something because their parents don't approve, or their best friend doesn't approve, their friend group, maybe someone, you know, on their job, like that that people don't approve of them or people wouldn't like them if they decided to do this. How many people um do we talk to in church that say, hey, I'm the only person in my family that's saved? Um, and it's bringing some, you know, kind of persecution, yes.

Ken Claytor

Um, yeah, all that.

Tabatha Claytor

Yeah. And and and so they're feeling, you know, like, oh my gosh, I don't know if I want to continue going to church. They're calling me a holy roller. They're saying, Well, who do you think you are? They're making fun of me because I'm praying or um because I have a Bible. And some people turn away. It stops them in their tracks or it delays them um from doing what they're supposed to be doing, what they desire to do. And that's what I don't want people to experience. So in my life, I feel like there are several times. So I was born and raised in the projects, um, I lived in a home with alcohol addiction, domestic violence, all types of craziness going on in my house and where I lived. If you can think about it, it was going on in my community. And so when I started to, let's say, even like go to college, like thoughts of going to college. I remember even before I got saved, I was the first one in my family to go to college. But when I went to college, I remember coming back feeling a little like, well, who do you think you are? So you, you know, so what, you're smart now because you, you know, you went away and you're like, Were people saying that, or that was just the vibe? It was like a vibe that I had. And it could be something that I took in myself, but then there were comments that were made, you know. And so it was almost like I wasn't welcome anymore. Or there would be side conversations that when I try to get into the side conversation, I was dismissed.

Ken Claytor

You know what's funny is the people who are like, Well, you just it just seems like you're changing.

Tabatha Claytor

Yeah.

Ken Claytor

Exactly. That's exactly what I'm doing.

Tabatha Claytor

I'm growing.

Ken Claytor

Because change equals growth. And so I don't know, I'd almost submit if you don't have somebody who's saying, it just seems like you're changing, you're probably not growing. I don't know. Everybody should have somebody in their life who's like upset that you're not who you used to be. I'm not who I used to be because I'm evolving into who God's called me to be. So let's just like right now. So where you are in life right now, do you feel like you have a lot of people who don't like you?

Tabatha Claytor

If I I would say obviously yes, because people don't like the gospel that I preach. People don't like, you know, yeah, I don't know. I I I'm gonna say yes, but I don't come in contact with these people every day. So in my bubble, in my personal world, in my personal space, no, there's not a lot of people that don't like me.

Ken Claytor

Do you insulate yourself from that, like on purpose, like not care about what people think, or do you just naturally like I mean, you know?

Tabatha Claytor

That's a good question. I wouldn't say that I'm gonna intentionally put myself in environments that I know.

Ken Claytor

I well, I guess I say that because one of my friends, uh-huh, I'm saying friends, but he is a friend uh a little bit, but he's also like someone that everyone knows, so it's not a name drop, but Joel Osteen, um he always says, um, like when you're around him, he'll always say something like, I don't even know people have a problem with me.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah. Yeah.

Ken Claytor

He's such a good natured, loving guy, and you know, and he's like people love to attack for no reason.

Tabatha Claytor

Well, people don't like you right now because you just said his name.

Ken Claytor

Yeah, I don't care. Um, people don't like him, but because he's just a good-natured guy. He's always talking about hope and what God's gonna do and everything so positive. And people will just attack him for that, but they don't know that's actually who he is. Yeah, he's just a good-natured, good-hearted dude. But if you ask him, like I think, I don't know, maybe I was at some leadership conference and there was a round table and we were asking, well, how do you deal with the persecution and people not liking you? He was like, People don't like me. You know, and it was a joke. Yeah, I can't live my life on the opinions of other people.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

Ken Claytor

Because people don't have a heaven or a hell to put me in. And I'm gonna live my life for the audience of one. And as long as God be for me, then who can be against me? And I just remember him saying that as a person who, of course, has one of the biggest churches in America.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

Ken Claytor

And I just thought, okay, let me tuck that away for a time um later on. This is probably 10 years ago, but it just it it speaks to something where you can live life to where I kind of shut out the noise and I live my life for God. I just think there's something powerful to that.

Tabatha Claytor

Well, it's you focus on what is good, lovely, pure, of a good rapport. You know, that's the scripture. So you choose to focus on the good things, the God things. Everything else doesn't even matter.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

Tabatha Claytor

But I think, yeah, I I I'm not gonna intentionally surround myself with haters or people that don't believe what I believe. That's how you get into people not liking you. But I really I feel like people are people. Everyone's a person, whether you are a billionaire or you have nothing, we are all people and none of us are perfect. Right. And so I feel like just being comfortable in my own skin, um, that okay, I'm good at a lot of things and a lot of things I'm not good at.

SPEAKER_02

Okay.

Tabatha Claytor

And I'm not expecting myself to be perfect. And so if someone else looks at me and they don't like me for my imperfections, or some people don't like me for my perfections, right? It's just we just disagree. I'm okay with that. I don't like you. You don't like me, I don't like you. For the same reason you don't like me, I don't like you.

Ken Claytor

But I love you, but I don't that don't mean I gotta like you.

Tabatha Claytor

Because I've been commanded to love.

Ken Claytor

Yeah, but not to like. I don't like your decisions, I don't like your style, I don't like the way you do stuff, but that doesn't devalue who you are, and it doesn't mean you don't deserve love. It just means that I'm not gonna live my life thinking about what everybody's thinking about me. That's just tiring.

Tabatha Claytor

It's too much.

Ken Claytor

So can you give me like practical keys of what you've done or what you've seen that work to kind of insulate yourself, or not insulate yourself, but just keep yourself from really caring too much about what people think.

Tabatha Claytor

I think I um I look at people as people before their titles, before everything else. And that's not too, I'm I'm I'm high on honor. I honor people, but at the same time, I honor the person, you know, picking up my groceries. I honor, you know, everyone. Anyway, I I try to look at people as people and to know that. So if I have, let's say, a boss who, you know, I they trained me, um, I respect them, I honor them, I appreciate them. But then I found out, find out that my boss doesn't like me for the way I dress, for my religion, for they just don't like my style, like whatever. There's a reason if they don't like me. That could crush me. And I could be like, oh my gosh, I don't know what to do. Now I don't have this relationship. I'm questioning where I go in my career. Do I need to change jobs? Do I need to start my own business? What do I do? Because this person that I hold so high doesn't like me for some reason. You can go that route, or you can say, hey, this person is human. And I like this person for their success and everything they poured into my life. But you know what? I don't like that part about them.

SPEAKER_02

Right.

Tabatha Claytor

I don't like it that they don't like that about me. And it's okay. I'm just gonna sit that aside and I'm gonna focus on the good things, and I can still continue that relationship, even though they might not like me for a certain thing. Does that make sense?

Ken Claytor

I mean, what I heard out of it was like, it's okay. You know, it's like um, I remember um hearing one of my mentors years ago say that your problem with with me is not my problem. We were headed for divorce, but today we're best friends. We're Ken and Tabitha. We've been married for 26 years, and honestly, it's been the best 24 years of my life. You do the math. The first two years was absolutely horrible, but now Tabitha, she got herself together and things are much better.

The Real Reasons People Dislike You

Tabatha Claytor

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Ken Claytor

If you love rom-coms, romance novels, you'll love this book. Butterfly Love is easy. Keeping the butterflies, not so much. We want to help you fall in love, stay in love, and grow in love. This book right here, this is for you. Get your copy today. Like your problem with me is not my problem. That's your problem, and I'm not gonna make it my problem. So I just feel like there's somebody who's watching who you're making people's problem with you your problem, and it's not your problem, it's their problem. And so there's no need for you to carry it like it's your problem because it's not your problem. So if you have a problem with me, it's just not my problem. I got a lot of problems, but your problems ain't my problem. You know, I don't know if you have any examples. I got a couple. I remember there was a time when I was in college and I was pledging a business fraternity. And actually at the time we were already married, and I really didn't really want to be a part of the fraternity. I was just doing it to put it on my resume. Yeah. It wasn't one of those fraternities like Haze You Real Bad. It was a business fraternity. It was in business school. But the one thing that they did is that they took everyone who was pledging and they automatically said, We're gonna drop one person. So we're gonna let those of you all who are pledging drop one person. And I was just thinking to myself, there's no way they're gonna drop me. But after the vote came out, um, for whatever reason, I was the one that was dropped. And I had friends on there. And I was like, hey, you guys, y'all voted to drop me. And then they the response was like, Oh, we didn't think anybody else would not vote for you to drop. So I just voted for you. It was all bananas. You know, it was all but yeah, so I ended up not and you know what I did with that, with that? I said, I'm gonna graduate business school and I'm gonna start a business that's gonna be more successful than all of you guys, and y'all gonna be working for me. And that's exactly what I did. And there were people that I went to business school with that actually work for me. Because if you're gonna reject me from um from your little click that you have, I'm not gonna feel like rejected and like I'm less than. So, okay, y'all don't like me, or whatever it is. You thought this, you thought that. I don't know what's lies or true, but watch me win. And I just think that there's an attitude. Like when people don't like me, I'm like, okay, watch. Okay, watch, watch the fruit of my life. You don't like my doctrine? Okay, watch what it produces in the earth. That's it. Watch how many people get saved, watch how many people get healed. You don't like my hair? I don't care. Why, you know what I'm saying? It's just you don't like this about me. Watch me have a marriage for 26, 27 years. You thought I shouldn't even have got married. Watch me win. So it's almost like I'm one of those people. You ever heard people say with football, there's a running back who runs with like uh um, they run with an attitude. It's almost like they hit the hole and they just they they run it over everybody. Like I have a down low attitude to haters. Like haters make me greater. It's like, okay, watch, watch this. Exactly. Uh-huh.

Tabatha Claytor

I think sometimes um people can get into fear about, oh, like, because this person doesn't like you, they're gonna stop you from doing something.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, that's the key.

Tabatha Claytor

You know, and it's like if God be for you, no one can be against you. And so back to your fraternity sort story, there was one person in that fraternity that did not like you. Um, and they this that's why they just went in there, spread rumors, did what they did to get you not in that fraternity, okay, without giving other information. There was one person. That's the person who this person um got you excluded from the fraternity. So what you did, and and this is what happens in life. There's like people are trying to get a job, they're trying to get into this group, they're trying to do so many different things in whatever industry that you're a part of. And you can feel like when opposition arises because somebody doesn't like you, you think that that one person has the power to shut you down, to ruin everything that you're trying to do. That is a lie, just like you said. Your haters make you greater. If God be for you, no one can be against you. This should be ammunition. Oh, you don't like me? That's good. Watch me win.

Mentorship Invite For Leaders

Ken Claytor

That's like I remember one time um I was in real estate and I was I had someone else um who was in real estate at the same time, and we both went to the same church. And I was always just, it always just was weird. You know how someone, it's like, I don't know why we're not on the same page. Um, I know that I have a real estate business and you have a real estate business, but what I decided to do with this just weird relationship and like, do you really like me? Are you against me? I decided just to try to bless this person all the time. And I think that's a key as well. If you have somebody who's just made yourself an enemy, I'm not gonna make you an enemy because you've made me an enemy. Yeah. So what I tried to do is just bless that person, speak well of that person, send that person clients, um, build what they wanted to build, team up with what they wanted to do. And at the end, I mean, um, we we we actually became friends. It kind of dyed the competition and the contention down a little bit. It was never a perfect relationship, but to me, the the scripture says overcome evil with good. Yes. So I'm not your enemy just because you want to make me an enemy. That don't mean you're my enemy.

Tabatha Claytor

Yeah.

Ken Claytor

You know?

Tabatha Claytor

Um, I'm not gonna get upset with you. Like, you know, some people don't like you. It could be jealousy, it could be you got promoted and they didn't. It could be all kinds of things. And so when when you walk in the room, you see them, you know they don't like you. They know that they you know that they don't like you. And they're sitting there with a sour disposition. What am I gonna do? Jump in and be sour with you? No, I will not. I'll walk in the room. How you doing? Bless you today. Good to see you. Today's a great day today. And mean it from with all of my heart, like, hey, God is good.

Ken Claytor

Well, I think that has to do with a disposition of trust in God and faith in every you can either get in the flesh or stay in the spirit. And you gotta just uh try to get stay in the spirit. Don't let people pull you into the flesh. And so today's episode is really about how to deal with rejection and criticism, how to deal with being misunderstood, people talking about you behind your back, um, being excluded from things not included, um, people having an attitude toward you for no reason, um, and also dealing with persecution. And I kind of want to talk about persecution um very quickly. Um, how would you define that persecution, that word?

Tabatha Claytor

I would say uh negativity. I would define it as like negativity toward you. Um persecution could come in the form of physical persecution.

Ken Claytor

In the Bible, they were persecuted because they were crucified or stoned and beaten. Um persecution can also be a verbal, you know, um character assassination. You know, there's a scripture that comes to mind and it's so powerful in Luke 6 26. Tell me what you think about this. It says, Woe to all, um, woe to you when all people speak well of you. For so their fathers did also to the false prophets. It says, Woe to you when all people speak well of you. Uh anything stick out?

Watch Me Win And Keep Going

Tabatha Claytor

You would think that people would speak well of you when you're doing good. That's what I think. That's what that's the common thing for people to think, well, I'm doing so much good, and I do this and I do that, but they hate me anyway, and people try to still go do more good and more stuff, and it's like, no, there is an enemy. Right. There is an enemy that does not like you, right? Um, and there will always be opposition. So let's just consider this normal. If you're doing something good, yeah, you're gonna have opposite opposition.

Practical Steps To Stay Confident

Ken Claytor

Yeah. Woe to you when all people speak well of you. To me, it means that if you're a person who doesn't have any critics, any haters, or any people um trying to tear you down, you're not you're not in the will of God and you're not building nothing. You're not moving, you're not going anywhere. And so actually, for those of you all who do have people that are critics and people that don't like you, instead of you feeling bad about it, you should actually look at it and say, Wow, I'm in the will of God. It should actually be like confirmation to your spirit that you're going Godward. Because if you do not have that kind of opposition, it says, you know, you're not in the will of God, basically is what I take from that. Yeah. So to me, um, I want to normalize people not disliking me. And I'm okay with it, you know, because it's like I said, as long as God is for me. And so I think it it also has to do with being a people pleaser. You know, I now have you ever considered yourself a people pleaser at all?

Tabatha Claytor

Not really.

Ken Claytor

Yeah. Do you do you think I like to please people, but do you would you look at me as a people pleaser?

Tabatha Claytor

I don't think so.

Ken Claytor

You're taking a long time to think about it.

Tabatha Claytor

I was gonna my thought was I think that you might be more of a people pleaser than what I would be.

Ken Claytor

It depends on how you define people pleaser. Like I'm I like I want people to be happy with me.

Tabatha Claytor

Yeah.

Ken Claytor

But I will break it down, and I have all kinds of people who aren't happy with me, and it does not change my behavior. I am willing to have difficult conversations, I'm willing to love you from a distance. I wish I didn't have to. I think that's what you're speaking to more about. Yes. Because you see the pain of my heart when any relationship falls apart and I wish so much that I could do something, but at the end of the day, I'm still gonna trade it. Right.

Tabatha Claytor

You know, I I view a people pleaser as someone who they care what other people think and they will alter their behavior and their actions based on what other people think. You care more than I care, is what I mean. You care a lot, but you will not alter your actions or behavior. You will stand on truth. Yes.

Ken Claytor

You can say whatever, you can talk bad about me, you can lie about me, you can slander me, you can start a a YouTube page about me, but I'm not changing my position. Absolutely. Um and that's important because but you don't care. And so I'm that so when in the beginning of the show, I'm like, I want to get there to where I don't care. I think you don't care because you don't know. Like, I'm more like into my peripherals. Like, I can feel and I'm more like I'm the kind of person like if I'm in a restaurant, I notice everyone who's there. If you're in a restaurant, you see the menu. Nobody else. You know what I'm saying? And that's just a different kind of personality.

Tabatha Claytor

I think no, I I choose. I see everything and I feel everything. And sometimes the world can be so noisy, but I choose to be like, nope, I'm gonna go in here and look at this menu right now.

Ken Claytor

Okay.

Prayer, Next Steps, And Closing

Tabatha Claytor

Like I have a tremendous gift to block people out. I love it. I will block you out.

Ken Claytor

You block me out. Like any of our team will tell you. I don't know. They call me to try to get in touch with you. I'm not sure. Pastor Tab is not texting. Yeah, she's not, she's not doing that. I block out my text. It is so annoying to work with this woman. She is so gifted.

Tabatha Claytor

I know how people just list respond to every text. You're just looking at your phone. Like, how do you concentrate on the phone?

Ken Claytor

I'll be like, give me a special ring tone. Give me anything to get in touch with you. It'll be like two days. Oh, did you read that text? What text? I text you two days ago, like, oh my goodness.

Tabatha Claytor

And I do want to be better, you know. Yeah.

Ken Claytor

But and so why is this so important, guys? This is so important because if you don't process it correctly, it will change who you are.

unknown

Yeah.

Ken Claytor

It will shrink who you are, it can lead you into bitterness, it can cause you to isolate yourself, it can make you overthink everything what people think about you. It can make you feel like even something's wrong with you because other people are telling you that it is.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

Ken Claytor

And it can make you also self-sabotage your success, and we don't want that for you. And so here's 10 reasons that I kind of jotted down that people might not like you. And um uh you know, I'll go over them and you can jump in anytime you want, just interrupt me.

unknown

Okay.

Ken Claytor

Number one, sometimes people don't like you because of misunderstanding. They interpreted your tone wrong. It's not you, they just misunderstood you. Number two, they don't know you. They don't like the version that they created in their head of you. Matter of fact, anybody who is judging somebody, even like my friend Joel Osteen, if you don't know him, you can't judge him like you know his motives. It's amazing that we live in a society where people actually create websites and YouTubes about people that they've never met.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

Ken Claytor

Because they act like they know you, but you don't know me because of a 35-minute message. You don't know my motives, you don't know my wiring, you don't know my calling. You know? Number three, you remind them of somebody else. Past pain gets projected onto other people. All men are dogs. And so now you have this disdain towards a whole gender of people simply because of your experience with a few. Um, we have jealousy and insecurity. Your growth exposes what they won't deal with. And so I've had people not like me just because I outgrew them. You know, I remember coming to church and I was just hungry to grow, but then I outgrew those who used to be my mentors.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

Ken Claytor

And it's amazing to me that sometimes people can just get upset with you because you outgrew them.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

Ken Claytor

All right. Um, number five would be your boundaries often offend their access. Um, they like you when you are easier to be around. But watch this: the more successful you become, the more responsibility to have, the less access you have. And so I can't show up to every family reunion. I can't come to every wedding. I can't show up at every meeting. I can't call you back. I got 3,000 phone calls right now. And a lot of people get offended because they just don't understand the level that God has brought you. I'm preaching better than they saying, Amen, baby. Um, number six, they only heard one side of the story. People judge you off of somebody else's opinion. Like I thank God for the church because we are a community and people come to church because somebody invited them, but they also leave because they got offended about something that they don't even know. You got to come to the place where you don't allow somebody else's offense to become your offense. And you start judging somebody by something you heard somebody else say, you know. Number seven is you're confident, and they read it as pride. You know, the scripture says don't cast away your confidence, for it has great recompensive reward. You got to come to the place where you differentiate pride from confidence, and we need confidence. Number eight, you corrected them or they didn't agree with them. And this is a lot, especially as an employer or senior leader. Um, there are some people, and some of this is not because people are evil, they just have lowly developed esteem. And I've met people that they need so much affirmation. Please tell me I'm doing good, please give me a pat on the back. So if you try to correct them at all, they take it like you have stabbed them with 25 knives. And actually, the scripture says that the father loves who he corrects. The father loves who he corrects. So correction is not a beat you up, correction is to pull you up and bring you up. Number nine is you're becoming who God called you to be. And this convicts them. And number 10 is that sometimes it's just spiritual, and the enemy would love you to just shrink back or hide. And so sometimes it's just the warfare that the enemy is able to use somebody else's inconsistencies and inmaturity to don't like you to try to stop what he's doing in you.

Tabatha Claytor

All of those things were so good. But all of those point things point to just um faith.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

Tabatha Claytor

You know, and our growth as believers, right? So as we grow, we're going from one level of glory to another, from one level of wisdom, from one level of understanding. We're understanding ourselves, we're understanding God, the world around us, we're understanding the word of God, the spirit realm, we're understanding the gifts of the spirit. All of these things produce growth on the inside of us. And there are people around us who they will look at that growth and um lean into it. They will follow us as we follow Christ, they will celebrate us. Let's do life with those people. But then there are some people, and there's always gonna be those people that they're gonna be intimidated by that growth. They are going to judge, they're gonna, you're gonna walk in the room and they're gonna say, oh man, they think that because I cussed or because I did this or I did that, they're judging me. And really, you're not even you don't even care about them. Right. It's your the holiness that's the oil that's flowing from your life, the light that is shining from you will actually um produce just an anxiousness in them. It will make them uncomfortable. So, anyway, we can't do anything about that.

unknown

Yeah.

Tabatha Claytor

We cannot do anything about the fact that somebody doesn't like us. So why even care about it?

Ken Claytor

Yes, indeedy. Are you a senior leader, a second chair leader, or simply someone who's thinking about launching a church? If that's you, I want to personally invite you to be a part of the Global Pastors and Leaders Network. You know, I've been in ministry now 18, 19 years. We started with six people in the rec center, but on today, we have five locations in four cities in two different nations. We see over 4,000 people in regular attendance every single Sunday. And we want to pay it forward. People are asking me, Pastor Ken, how are you guys doing what you're doing at a live church? A lot of people want a shortcut to success. The only shortcut is mentorship. And so I'm starting a new thing called mentorship Mondays with Pastor Ken and Friends. We're launching a monthly Zoom call where I'm building real life ministry questions. I'm bringing some of our team along with us, we're opening up our playbook to really share with you what we do at a live church and how we're doing it. My team and I will be hosting this call every third Monday. If this resonates with you, and if you're hungry, humble, and know that God's just calling you to war, join us for the next call. We'll see you there. Um, here's a few scriptures. John 15, 18, it says, If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first. Galatians chapter 1, verse 10 says, Am I not trying to win the approval of human beings or of God? And at some point you gotta say, um Do I want to please God or please man? Psalm 27, 10 says, Though my father and mother forsake me, the Lord will receive me. And I remember one scripture says that a man's enemies will be that of his own household. And that's the thing, the people that should be helping you are now hurting you. And I think that's what happened to Joseph.

Tabatha Claytor

That's when it hurts the most.

Ken Claytor

Yeah. His own brothers was the ones that betrayed him. Proverbs 29, 25 says that the fear of man lays a snare. So my prayer for you in the name of Jesus is that you get free from the fear of man so you can be everything God's called you to be.

Tabatha Claytor

Absolutely. Now, I I want to tell this story very um quickly. You know it, but you said this. You said, watch me win. And this is just an attitude that I have. And I don't know where it came from. It's a gift that God's given me. But I have a story, you know, when I I ran track in high school, and um I uh it was my senior year, the last race of our season, and we were competing for the just the section champions. It was the championship, and we are neck and neck tied. And I am going to run the 200, um, the 200 yard dash. So anyway, it's all on me because and the 200 isn't my best race. I I was a 400 runner. And so I'm running the 200. And if I I need to come in first place or else we're going to lose. Okay. Um, I get to the starting blocks and my friend, this is my friend, okay. We've been friends for a while. We're at the starting block. And um, right before we go to race, she's like, Hey, you know, how are you doing? And I'm like, good, good. I'm about to win this. I'm gonna win it. Cause, you know, like I'm psyching myself up. I'm like, we got this. She's like, well, you guys know you're tired, you're tied. You have to win this one, or else we don't win. And I'm like, yeah, yeah. We're going in this conversation. And she says, Well, you know, that other girl, she's fast. And she begins to tell me that that other girl, like, about how she won her races and tell me this other girl's record. And I was just like, oh my goodness. And the girl was right there with my friend from my school of my team telling me.

Ken Claytor

I had friends like that too.

Tabatha Claytor

Oh my goodness.

Ken Claytor

Yeah, always hyping somebody else up.

Tabatha Claytor

It's like, are you serious? You're patting her on the back right now.

Ken Claytor

Yeah.

Tabatha Claytor

And I didn't say anything. And I just kind of went in, I got ready. And right before we left, I mean, right before um the gun ran off, um, the official said, runners to your marks. And he said, set. And I think that I probably shouldn't even said anything at that time. You're not supposed to leave. But I looked back at her name was Kelly. I looked back at Kelly and I said, Kelly, watch me win. And I, and I said it loud enough because the girl right next to me, I wanted her to know, like, I was just, I was just like, I can't believe this is going on. I was offended. Anyway, I won that race first place. That girl was fast too. She had me the whole time. And it was maybe in the last, you know, few seconds I passed her up because I had grit and I didn't want to quit. But I say that story because you're always gonna have haters in life. They might be your best friends, they might be your family members. But as long as you believe in yourself, I mean, as long as you believe that you can do all things through Christ, right? Don't quit. Don't give up. You can say this to your enemies, you can say this to the devil, watch me win.

Ken Claytor

Yeah.

Tabatha Claytor

Get up and do what you gotta do.

Ken Claytor

We should have titled this podcast, Watch Me Win. I dare you to put that in the comments. Get a tattoo of that. Watch me win. That's a different attitude. I love it. I love it. Um persecution is not necessarily a bad thing. And so if we normalize it for a minute, because persecution in the hands of God it tests and refines faith. 1 Peter chapter 1. It produces endurance and maturity, James chapter 1, 2 through 4. And it also can advance the gospel, Philippians chapter 1, verse 12. Um, I think sometimes even with the end of the age stuff that's happening, some people get scared of what they see. But through history, we see that the persecuted church is typically the more powerful church. Um, the smug, lukewarm church, we don't advance much. So I would encourage you that even though there's persecutions and there's people changing laws and government, um, even when the church is persecuted, we actually become more powerful and more on fire. And so, in closing, here's just a few things that I jotted down of what to do when people don't like you. Are you ready? Number one, don't assume. Ask yourself, what do you actually know? Don't build your emotion off of vibes. You know, vibes alone. This person don't like me. Well, do you know that? Number two, check your heart before you check their motive. Okay, did I become offended? Did I get insecure? Number three, own your part if you've contributed. If you were wrong, be strong enough to admit it. All right. Number four, don't chase people who require you to perform. You must be fake to be accepted. It's not your place. Alright. Number five, let people misunderstand you if God understands you. Clarity is great, but peace is better. Alright? Don't gossip to feel better. You'll never heal spreading poison about other people. Okay, you'll never heal that way. You don't want to be that person. Stay kind without staying close. I believe in distance, and I really believe I can love people from a distance. You know, some people they're there they don't have the the um integrity to be your in in your inner circle. They don't they they're they're they can become a Judas or an Absalom in your inner circle. So sometimes you need to love people from a distance. And that brings me to the next point. Make your circle smaller but healthier. Get around people that celebrate you, not just tolerate you. All right. Here's the next one. Keep showing up as the real you. Don't shrink, don't hide, don't self-doubt. Authenticity is so powerful. Don't let anybody take your authenticity away. That's the one thing that I think people like about our podcast is that we're just being real. We don't have a lot of edits, we don't have a lot of um plans of where we're gonna go. This is a conversation, and we're not scared to make mistakes, mess up stuff. It's just two people talking, and we're gonna share with you our good and our bad, our ups and our downs, and hopes that God can use it in a way where you can grow. And last but not least, you gotta get your confidence back. Don't let the haters of this day steal your confidence in God. And so I don't know, I feel like just maybe prophesying and praying. I just feel like there's somebody who might be watching this and you kind of feel like you've been feeling beat down. You've been feeling isolated or you've been feeling alone, especially those of you all who are now newly saved, and maybe you were Muslim or maybe you were Hindu and your family doesn't understand you. And it would almost seem like the people that you grew up with, friends, and people that should be caring for you, family, should be the ones who've been celebrating you, but sometimes they're the ones that's actually throwing the spirit at you. And so I just pray in the name of Jesus that you have a boldness that comes over you right now to be everything that God's called you to be. I pray that God will remove the wrong people from your inner circle and replace them with the right people in your inner circle. And I pray that you have um kind of like an anointing that she has to where, yeah, I know it, but I don't care. I pray that we all have that kind of um, not to where like I can never get on social media and I'm living my life in a bubble so that I don't hear what people are saying about me. But no, I'm living my life with freedom and I don't care what you think about me. So we release confidence over you in Jesus' name.

Tabatha Claytor

Amen. So good.

Ken Claytor

And so we're out of time for today, everybody. Um, hope you enjoyed today's podcast. Of course, if you're new to our show, please make sure you hit the subscribe button or the alert icon that's there on YouTube if you're watching via podcasts, Spotify, or Apple Music. Um, hit whatever you got to hit to make sure that you are part of getting the content as soon as it's released. Um, we would love to hear from you. Um, in the show notes, there's an email address. Share your testimony with us. Um, you know, the best thing that you could do is just share this podcast with other people. We know this this is an area where a lot of people are being hurt and they're afraid to be themselves, especially as followers of Jesus. So sharing is caring and caring is sharing. And if you're ever in Florida, stop by one of our campuses. We would love to worship with you. At a live church, we have a campus in Orlando, in Tampa, and Gainesville. And of course, if you're ever in Brazil, we have campus in Brazil. And I don't know, we might have a campus coming your way one day. And come worship with us, come to the conference. You can also visit our website at KenonTabitha.com. There we have marriage boot camps, we have marriage books, we have marriage masterclasses, we got all kinds of things to help you grow in your walk with God. And so until next Thursday, we love you guys, and we'll see you soon. Peace.

Contributor

Ken Claytor

Host
Head Shot

Tabatha Claytor

Host