Breaking Ungodly Soul Ties | How to Break Soul Ties & Be FREE!

We name the difference between healthy and unhealthy soul ties, then get honest about why certain relationships keep pulling us back even when they hurt. We walk through spiritual and practical steps to break ungodly connections and close with a renouncing prayer for healing and freedom. 

• defining soul ties as emotional, mental, and will-level bonding 
• healthy soul ties in marriage, family, mentorship, and godly friendship 
• unhealthy soul ties formed through manipulation, trauma bonding, and emotional dependence 
• Tabatha’s testimony of breaking ties with words and obedience 
• how trauma and sexual abuse can create lingering attachment and shame 
• why sexual purity matters and how sexual sin creates bondage 
• how unbroken past connections can affect dating and marriage 
• signs you may have an unhealthy soul tie including comparison, guilt, confusion, and stalking social media 
• why people stay in toxic relationships and how self-worth gets targeted 
• safety, community, and practical help for leaving abusive relationships 
• a step-by-step framework to acknowledge, repent, forgive, cut access, renounce, and renew your mind 
• a guided renouncing prayer and declarations for peace, healing, and a clear path forward 

I want you to just take a moment, comment in the section below. Let us know the soul ties that you’ve had, how you’ve overcome them, what you need prayer for, and share this with other people. 
If you’re new to our podcast, make sure you hit the subscribe button or the alert icon. 
You can get your tickets right now. And the website is in the show notes. 

GET THE BETTER MARRIAGE BOOTCAMP HERE:

Better Marriage Bootcamp (kenandtabatha.com)

Better Marriage 90-Day Devotional:
90 Day Better Marriage Devotional - Ken and Tabatha (square.site)

DOWNLOAD THE FAMILY MEETING OUTLINE HERE ⬇️
https://www.kenandtabatha.com/pl/2148103888

📍 Join us in Florida at Alive Church — with campuses in Orlando, Tampa & Gainesville.

🎟 And don’t miss Alive Conference coming soon — 3 days that can change the next 30 years of your life!

https://redeemedevents.com/event-details/1875

Support Our Ministry: 
https://myalivechurch.org/give


Connect with us:

- Website:

https://www.kenclaytor.com
https://www.tabathaclaytor.com
https://www.myalivechurch.org

- Socials:

Instagram -

https://www.instagram.com/kenclaytor/
https://www.instagram.com/tabathaclaytor/
https://www.instagram.com/myalivechurch/

TikTok-

@Ken_Claytor
@Tabathaclaytor
@myalivechurch

Facebook-

https://www.facebook.com/PastorKenClaytor
https://www.facebook.com/pastortabathaclaytor
https://www.facebook.com/myalivechurch

- Ask us questions: 

i...

Transcript

Ken Claytor 0:00

So there's a difference between healthy and unhealthy soul ties. Emotionally dependent friendships, manipulative relationships, trauma-bonded connections, sexual relationships outside the covenant of marriage, and these produce confusion, obsession, comparison, compromise, emotional instability, and the list goes on.

Tabatha Claytor 0:20

There were soul ties that I had, like, oh my gosh, I'm trying to get away from them, but I keep going back. But in my alone time with God, I renounced the soul tie that I have with this person. I broke that soul tie with my words first. I broke the covenant. And that's what you do. You you speak it and then you do it.

Why Soul Ties Keep Pulling You Back

Ken Claytor 0:44

Hey, what's up, everybody?

Tabatha Claytor 0:46

Hey everyone.

Ken Claytor 0:46

So glad to have you for another episode of Doing Life with Ken and Tabitha. We're excited about today because today we want to help some of you all get free. And listen, you got to hang out with us to the very end because we're going to pray over you. We're going to renounce some soul ties. I believe some of you all have just been stuck thinking about someone who's long gone because of soul ties. And whenever we talk about soul ties, people get set free and delivered. I'm excited about today. Um, we want to talk about what are soul ties and how to break them for good. Um, what comes to mind with this topic, sweetheart?

Tabatha Claytor 1:17

Yeah, I think um a lot of us get in, I I I think about relationships, um, boyfriend, girlfriend relationships, you know, uh, people who you've been in a relationship and you break up and it's so hard. You know, you can't get over this person. I think about relationships that are unhealthy. Um, you know, uh, I think about women in relationships with men who are abusive.

Ken Claytor 1:37

Yeah. And why are you staying around? Yeah, why are you staying around? There's a soul tie there.

Tabatha Claytor 1:42

Um, and then, you know, best friends. Some of you have, you know, uh, there's a guy who has this is his best friend, but your best friend is just not right. Right. He's he's not good to you. Um, you, uh a girl, your best friend is not good to you. She talks about you behind your back. Why do you keep being in a friendship or a relationship with this person? There may be a soul tie there, an unhealthy soul tie that you need to break.

Ken Claytor 2:03

Well, today is for those of you all who are asking, why can't I move on? Why does this still affect me? Why does this keep pulling me back, this relationship? Why do I still feel connected to someone who's not even in my life any longer, maybe doesn't even want to be in my life any longer. We want to help you with

What A Soul Tie Really Is

Ken Claytor 2:19

that today. Uh, let's start by definitions. Uh, how would you define a soul tie?

Tabatha Claytor 2:24

I would say uh an unhealthy uh connection, yeah. Uh emotional connection with another person.

Ken Claytor 2:32

Okay.

Tabatha Claytor 2:32

Or not even unhealthy.

Ken Claytor 2:34

Well, the reason I say that is because there are some good soul ties. Right. Like me and you have a soul tie. Right. And that's a good soul tie. It's a soul tie that's been created by God. Well, God is brought together, let no man put asunder. But I think what we're going to really talk about today is the unhealthy soul tie. Right. Okay. And so to me, it's not a spirit tie, it's a soul tie. So 1 Thessalonians says that we're three part in makeup. We are spirit. We have a soul. We live in a body. And I typically define soul having three major components: your mind, your will, your emotion, your emotions, your thinker, your filler, and your chooser. And so when we're talking about a soul tie, we're talking about somebody that you are tied together emotionally. You are tied together mentally, you are tied together in the way that you feel and think. And soul ties many times are definitely developed by sexual encounter. And that's a big one today, even though they can kind of vary in different things. And so what about you? Have you have you felt like you've ever had a soul tie before?

Tabatha Claytor 3:35

Yes.

Ken Claytor 3:36

Can you tell us a little bit about that? And how did you break it? How

Tabatha’s Story Of Breaking Free

Ken Claytor 3:39

did you break it?

Tabatha Claytor 3:39

Yeah, healthy soul ties and unhealthy soul ties. And so let's talk about um, you know, healthy soul ties, like the relationship between you and I, the relationship between me and me and our my children, you know, those are those are healthy. Um, but then there's unhealthy soul ties, which don't benefit your soul. They they bring you down. It's it's not good for you. So I've had um relationships, I had sex before we got married, and um, there were soul ties that I had with um a boyfriend, you know, or whoever that sexual partner was. And um, of course, I didn't know about it at the time, but that was that like, oh my gosh, I'm trying to get away from them. I know that they're not right for me. I want to break up with this person, but I keep going back. I, you know, they keep persuading me to stay because that it's almost like they had this emotional pull on me, like I was their puppet. They could just tell me one thing and I would be gullible and believe it, even though I know that their track record is wrong. They've proven that their track record is wrong. They've proven that I can't trust them, but it was like there was this emotional tie, this string that they would pull and I'd say yes and take them back every time. That was an unhealthy soul tie. Another unhealthy, unhealthy soul ties were maybe um, let's just say a family member that you should have a healthy soul tie with, but the family member is not good for you, not good for themselves. They may be controlling, they may be manipulative, they may be abusive. I have had family members where I have to say, okay, this is an unhealthy soul tie. I cannot be played like a puppet. I cannot have my life go into emotional turmoil every other week because their life is going into emotional turmoil because of the decisions that they make, the unholy, ungodly, or the whatever cycles that they're in in their life, I had to break those soul ties, even though it's like, oh, this is my family. Oh, but I should love this person. They should be healthy, but they're not. They're ungodly. And so I have to cut those.

Ken Claytor 5:40

Right, right. Wow. Um, can you give us what did you do to get out some of those soul ties?

Tabatha Claytor 5:46

Mm-hmm.

Ken Claytor 5:46

Or break some of those ungodly soul ties.

Tabatha Claytor 5:48

First of all, recognizing this is unhealthy.

Ken Claytor 5:51

Okay.

Tabatha Claytor 5:52

Um, that recognizing that there's something wrong here. Uh, this relationship isn't good for me, number one. And then number two, going to the word of God.

SPEAKER_03 6:00

Yeah.

Tabatha Claytor 6:01

Here's what I did not do. I didn't go to the person and say, hey, I'm breaking this unhealthy, ungodly soul tie that I have with you. Don't speak to me again. Don't even look my direction. In the name of Jesus, I rebuke you. Like that's what I didn't do. This is probably not going to do anything but get you into trouble. But in my alone time with God, I uh in the name of Jesus, I renounce the soul tie that I have with this person. Lord, forgive me for the ungodly things that I've did, done. Forgive me for putting them before you. Forgive me for obeying them before I would obey you. All of those things, I broke that soul tie with my words first. I broke the covenant. Right. I broke all of that with my words. And then secondly, I just asked the Holy Spirit to lead me and guide me in this relationship. And that's what you do. You you speak it and then you do it.

Soul Ties From Trauma And Abuse

Ken Claytor 6:52

Let's take it a little bit deeper. Um, do you feel like you can have an ungodly soul tie with someone that abused you, whether it be molestation or whether it be rape or something like that?

Tabatha Claytor 7:02

Yes.

Ken Claytor 7:03

You do? Can you can you why you say that? Um, because of the It's not even something you you you chose.

Tabatha Claytor 7:10

Right.

Ken Claytor 7:11

And that and there might be somebody who's listening right now that they have a soul tie. They're being, they have nightmares of what has been done to them. They feel less than, they feel dirty, they feel guilty, and they were actually a victim. And today might be the blessing that they needed, that it's just an unhealthy soul tie. You know, that that encounter that you did not ask for has now affected your emotions and your mind and your will in a way that it needs to be broken today.

Tabatha Claytor 7:35

Yeah, absolutely. I I think that that can happen. I I would say that, and you know, I've kind of been there myself in life, um, to where you feel like, you know, I feel so depressed. I I forgive this person, you know, all of these things. I don't know why I just can't seem to get over this. Sometimes, well, it's not a natural thing, it's a spiritual thing. And um, so even when in the case of rape um and sexual, you know, soul ties, the maybe you can speak on this, um, that when the husband and wife, the two become one.

SPEAKER_03 8:08

Right.

Tabatha Claytor 8:08

Um, and so we are tied together in in our soul.

SPEAKER_03 8:13

Right.

Tabatha Claytor 8:14

And so whatever I connect to uh with you, right, as as my husband, I connect to the good and the bad. Um, and so in the case of rape or sexual abuse, assault, and all of those things, we become connected with this other person. Um and it doesn't have to be a lifelong sentence. It's not like, oh my gosh, you know, you for the rest of your life you've been tainted and you're contaminated. No, right. It just means that there is a spirit realm. There are spiritual things that, you know, we're spirit beings, like you said. Right. We are spirit, we have a soul, we live in a body. And it is when we become aware of these things now, we can say, Oh, in the name of Jesus, I break that soul tie.

Ken Claytor 8:57

Yeah, use your authority to break it. Yes. And invite the Holy Spirit into it. Yes. And I guess the reason that I ask that is not to be insensitive, but to actually be truthful because those are things that you've had to do. Yeah. To overcome molestation, date rape, different things that's happened in your life. And I know that's for someone who's watching as well. And so there's a difference between healthy and unhealthy soul ties, like we talked about. Marriage, Genesis chapter 2, verse 24, God talks about the two becoming one flesh. Then you have godly relationships. The scripture says in 1 Samuel 18:1 that um David and Jonathan's soul were knit together. That was a soul tie. It was a friendship, but they loved each other so deeply that it affected them emotionally, mentally. And so you can see that in mentorship, family bonds, and they produce growth and peace, accountability, encouragement, alignment with God. But then there's unhealthy soul ties, emotionally dependent friendships, manipulative relationships, trauma-bonded connections, on again, off again relationships, relationships rooted in insecurity, fear, and control, um, sexual relationships outside the covenant of marriage. And these produce confusion, obsession, comparison. They produce compromise, emotional instability, difficulty moving on, and the list goes on.

Tabatha Claytor 10:15

The good news with those soul ties, I mean, it they're not good, unhealthy soul ties. It's not good for you. But the good news is just as easy as you get them, you can break

Sexual Sin And Spiritual Bondage

Tabatha Claytor 10:24

them.

Ken Claytor 10:24

Yeah. I'm reminded of a scripture in 1 Corinthians 6, 12. And this one is specifically talking about sexual, all right. So when it comes to sexual purity, it's very important that we keep our bodies for the Lord, and the Lord is for our body. So marriage is God's idea, and sex is God's idea. And sex is God's idea for three major reasons. Number one, to be fruitful and replenish the earth. So procreation. Number two, for intimacy between a husband and a wife. And number three, just for enjoyment between a husband and a wife. And so inside of that context, sex is holy and it's pure and it should be enjoyed and it's great. But outside of that context, like a married man and a married woman who's in the covenant of marriage, sex is considered a sin. And wherever there is sin, there's also bondage. So sexual sin creates sexual bondage. And so sex before marriage is sin. Um, same sex, sex is sin. Um, sex with anything outside of the context of a married man, a man born a man, and a woman born a woman, outside of that context, it's sin. And so that's where ungodly soul ties lie. And it reminds me of this scripture in 1 Corinthians chapter 6, verse 12. It says, I have the right to do anything you say, but not everything is beneficial. I have the right to do anything, but I won't be mastered by anything. You say food for the stomach and stomach for the food, and God will destroy them both. The body, however, is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord and the Lord for the body. And by his power, God raised the Lord from the dead, and he'll raise us up also. Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ Himself? Shall I then take the members of Christ and unite them with the prostitute? And it says, never with an exclamation point. Do you not know that he who unites himself with the prostitute is one body with her? For it said, the two will become one flesh, but whoever is united with the Lord is one in spirit with him. And the charge is flea sexual and morality. All of the sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually sins against their own body. And don't you know your bodies are the temples of the Holy Spirit who is in you, who you receive from God, and you are not your own. You were bought with a price. Therefore, honor God with your bodies. Wow. That's a mouthful, but it's so powerful.

Tabatha Claytor 12:41

It's so powerful. Number one, you know, sex outside of marriage. What I mean, this is why, this is why we say you don't have sex before marriage. This is why we don't have sex for before marriage. That's the biblical scripture for it. Now, um, I will say the thing that I think stands out the most to me about that is when um he's saying that you wouldn't, if a man goes out and defiles his body or unites his body with the prostitute, that you shouldn't do that. And I think that was a great picture. So he's using a prostitute to say that you would be you become one with that prostitute, but it doesn't matter. If it's not your husband or wife, whoever that person is, you become one with them and you've united yourself. And so that's the that's the whole thing. That's what we're talking about.

Ken Claytor 13:24

I mean, I really encourage you all, check out 1 Corinthians chapter 6 when you get a chance. You know, one thing that really stuck out to me from this passage is it says that you are not your own. Your body is for the Lord, and the Lord is for your body. In a day of time where we talk about my body, my choice, um, that might be what the world says, but that ain't what the believer says. The believer says, not my body, not my choice, God's bodies, God's choice. And I think that if you can finally surrender to that, then everything else in the will of God will begin to fall in place. You know, because we're not dogs in heat. Yeah. You know, your sexual drive has to be um, there needs to be temperance and self-control on your sex drive. Even man of God, you are not a dog. You are not in heat. Okay. So I know a lot of men that are living a sexually pure life until they wait to get married. Yep. This is not a teenage thing, an old people thing. Um, it's not even a single people thing. This is a married people thing because I got to control my body to where I'm not having sex with someone who is not my wife. I am not out at the grocery store flirting with other women, sneaking around the hotels. So, yes, I, you know, I get to have sex inside of this covenant, but I can't have sex. So I still have to have temperance. I still have to have a level of discipline, the same way that you would as a single person. So if you are dating somebody right now that cannot have any discipline in their sex drive, why would you think they're gonna have discipline in their sex drive when they say I do? If you can't control yourself now, you're probably not gonna control yourself later. But the revelation is that my body, our bodies, is not our bodies, not as believers. They they belong to the Lord. And you want to be very careful about who you become one with.

What You Bring Into A Marriage

Ken Claytor 15:03

Yeah. And so here's the the spiritual reality, or maybe even the soullish reality of most weddings is that fictitious, let me give some fictitious names, Bob gets married to Sue. And they stand on the altar and they go through their vows, and he says, I do, till death does me part. She says, I do. But what you don't see in the spirit is that Bob didn't come with himself. He came, and because he slept with Becky and Malika and Sheila and all these other people, he brought all of those people into the relationship. And because she was with Chuck and Andre and Mario, I'm making it multicultural. You know what I'm saying? Because all these, and she was with Sheila, and she was with, and she brings all of these. And if these soul ties aren't broken, now what happens is you bring all of these different relationships into the marriage covenant. Now, what you're doing is you're comparing who you're married to to who you used to be with. Now, what you're doing is you are still, I'm with you, but you don't do it like she used to do it. And now, because your soul is there, there are so many people that they are in a relationship in one regard physically, but they're emotionally somewhere else because they never renounce to break the soul ties.

Tabatha Claytor 16:14

That's so good. Um I that's so good.

SPEAKER_04 16:18

Yeah.

Tabatha Claytor 16:19

You know, we have three kids, and um, you know, they're they're not in the well, one of them, our oldest daughter is um 21. And um, she will be um, you know, she's probably in that age range. But the fact that they have that understanding, um, I'm so excited for their marriage. The things that they don't have to go through.

SPEAKER_03 16:40

Yeah.

Tabatha Claytor 16:40

It's part of getting married to not a half and a half becoming a whole, but and not your better half, you know, but your whole, I'm whole. We've broken every soul tie. Who you see at the altar is who's at the altar, not not our baggage, not all of that stuff. It's so powerful for us to enter into marriage eyes wide open.

SPEAKER_03 17:03

Yeah.

Tabatha Claytor 17:03

And I'm just encouraged for anyone who is listening right now and you're not married yet, you should share this with the person that you are considering to be, you know, to marry. Um, and just make sure that you both have this understanding because it is powerful.

Ken Claytor 17:18

Yeah, I think also if you're single and or you're dating or you're engaged, the work that you do on you before you get married is really going to help your marriage a whole lot. Yeah. I think sometimes we get married and we bring so much unresolved trauma. We bring so many unbroken soul ties, we bring so many, and then what we do is we treat our spouse like we saw our our mom or our dad treat their spouse growing up. And my mom's name is Barbara. Um, many of you all know she went home to be with the Lord um w over the last year or two. And um, I cannot treat Tabitha like she's Barbara because Tabitha's not Barbara. So I saw my dad treat my mom a certain way based upon her personality and who they are. And what happens is many a times, what is it's much more that's caught than taught. So if your dad was a Rolling Stone, then you're a Rolling Stone, or if your dad was abusive, then you have some abusive personalities. If he was more into not coming home and they had a thing in their relationship of how they then you subconsciously bring those things over into this context and wondering why your spouse doesn't respond like your mom did. Right. And you don't have that same kind of relationship because you didn't marry your mom, you married somebody else. And I think it's very important for us to kind of um take a season of our life.

Premarital Help And Married Hope

Ken Claytor 18:40

And that's why we actually created a premarital course that you guys can go through. And so if you're ever about to get married, you're engaged, um, we have a premarital course that we want to be your personal mentors. We can't be there with you personally, but we've recorded a video, and um you can get hold of this by going over to our website. It's called Built to Last. And we want to help you build a marriage that's to last. So the work that you do up front with the soul ties breaking, um, the the the trust that you build, the things that you discuss is actually what makes the marriage last. And so this is this is this is a huge.

Tabatha Claytor 19:18

But you know, so we just got done talking about if you're not married and you know, looking to be married. But I want to say also, if you are married, right, and you're hearing this for the first time, it's not too late to just break the soul ties. You know, and and so what does that look like? Let's say you're married and you're having some trouble in your marriage and you keep comparing them. Maybe you've been married before and you're comparing them with your ex.

SPEAKER_03 19:42

Right.

Tabatha Claytor 19:43

Maybe you've been just in other relationships and you're looking at them and you're you're remembering past relationships. Yeah, that's uh a soul tie.

Ken Claytor 19:52

Yeah, that's a soul tie.

Tabatha Claytor 19:53

You have the power and ability to break it now and move on.

Ken Claytor 19:57

Right, right. So I don't know. I feel like this this podcast right here is so important for people to hear. I would just stop for a minute and just say, we want to hear from you. I want you to just take a moment, comment in the section below. Let us know the soul ties that you've had, how you've overcome them, what you need prayer for, and share this with other people. Single people, married people. Just make this a whole let's break soul ties revolution. Go ahead and just, you know, let God use you that way. Because at the end, we're gonna pray some prayers of renouncing and we're gonna release an anointing over you who are listening and watching that I believe the power of God's gonna heal your soul so that you can be free to love how God's called you to be free to love. So hang out with us to the

Clear Signs You’re Still Tied

Ken Claytor 20:39

end. But here's some signs that you might have a healthy soul tie. Tell me what you think about any of these. You might have an unhealthy soul tie if you keep replaying the old relationships. You might have an unhealthy soul tie if you compare everyone that you meet to that person you used to be with. You might have an unhealthy soul tie if you feel emotionally pulled back into old relationships. You might have an unhealthy soul tie if you justify staying connected to someone you know that shouldn't be in your future. They're toxic. Uh, you might have an unhealthy soul tie if you feel guilty for actually moving on. You might have an unhealthy soul tie if you feel incomplete without them. You know, you just feel like you can't live without them. You might have an unhealthy soul tie if you keep checking their social media and your media stalking. You might have an unhealthy soul tie if you struggle to fully commit somewhere else. You might have an unhealthy soul tie if you feel spiritually dull after being in contact with them. Here's my last one. And you might have an unhealthy soul tie if you feel confused in the relationship instead of peace.

Tabatha Claytor 21:43

That's so good. Anything that is not life giving, I would sum that all up. If if it if it doesn't give you life, if you don't thrive, if it doesn't point you to Jesus and build upon the goodness that you already have on your life, I'm not saying that it's Perfect, but I'm saying it should give you life and point you to Jesus. Then if it's not that, let's

Why People Stay In Toxic Love

Tabatha Claytor 22:06

break it off.

Ken Claytor 22:06

I see something prophetically. I feel like there's someone who's listening and watching, and they've been putting up with a relationship that's not good. They've been putting up. I'm not talking about a marriage. Um, they're not married. They've they've been putting up with a relationship that's toxic. It's emotionally abusive. There's a level of abandonment. They're not treated well.

SPEAKER_04 22:26

Yeah.

Ken Claytor 22:27

Uh I wanted to ask you, why do people put up with that in a relationship? I'm talking more from the romantic relationship. Boyfriend, girlfriend, engaged, been dating for 10 years, still not married. That's what I'm seeing. There's someone here. They're putting up with in a in a romantic relationship, but it ain't, it ain't it, but they ain't left.

Tabatha Claytor 22:45

One reason is that you don't, you underestimate your own value and your own worth. And you feel like, well, if I don't have this person, I don't have anyone. And that person helps you to feel like that. They might say, oh, you know, well, who else, who else are you going to be with? Well, nobody else likes you. They might degrade you. They might make you feel like you can't live without them. And um you deserve some type of, they deserve some type of award, um, you know, for having you in their life or whatever. And um that that's not true. And so, like I said, every relationship should um bring out the beauty in you, yeah, to bring out the God in you. If it's a man, bring out the the man of God in you to bring out your gifts and your strengths and to help strengthen and to cover you in your weaknesses and help build your weaknesses.

Ken Claytor 23:36

Um, so I think that's have you ever felt like that before in a relationship where it just felt like you know it ain't right. Yes. You're in a toxic relationship, of course, before me, but you you know it wasn't right. Um, why were you in it and how did you get out of it?

Tabatha Claytor 23:51

Um, I was in it uh many reasons. I was young. Um, and uh another reason, well, I mean like teenager young. Um, and then another reason is that I was insecure um coming from a history of just abuse, um, growing up with uh like domestic violence and things like that. And so I fell into that statistic that if you grow up in a household and you see, you know, your mom, let's say, go through that, then odds are the odds are against you without God, right? That you're gonna get into a relationship like that. And it will cycle in your life.

Ken Claytor 24:27

Something about what you've experienced almost attracts that to you until you put a stop to it.

Tabatha Claytor 24:31

Yeah, it's similar to addiction, alcoholism if that's in your family, drug abuse, if that's in your family, you know, and you've seen that, you're gonna have a propensity toward that, yeah, taking God out of the picture. And so I grew up with that in my life. And so, no lie. The first boyfriend I get, and at first it was okay, but he became abusive and controlling. And um, it was because I had no um identity, I had low self-esteem. Um, I uh at the time he had money, I did not have money. So I I was I was made to feel like, well, you know, you just like I was just poor and from the projects, and it was a privilege for me to be with this person, you know? And so there were all types of mindsets that I had that kept me in that relationship.

Ken Claytor 25:23

Okay. And if a person's there right now, how did you come out? How do they get out? You know, I would prophesy this. It ran into your family until it ran into you.

Tabatha Claytor 25:32

Come on.

Ken Claytor 25:32

And you got to start to declare that and start to believe that. And so generational curses, your mom was in an abusive relationship, it's been like that. And your parents, your grandparents, it was running into your family until it ran into you. You are the pioneer in your family that's gonna break the curse and establish the blessing. Come on. In the mighty name of Jesus. What would be your advice to the person to get out of that? Because I just feel like there's people who's watching this that you're in an okay relationship, but that's an insecurity. You don't know your value. You you are worth, you are worthy of love, and you deserve somebody that will love you, how God loves you. You deserve a man that will honor you, protect you, cherish you, not abuse you, build you up. You deserve a woman that will honor you, revere you, speak life over you, be loyal to you. And I don't know. I want to give you permission to be by yourself instead of being with someone just because there ain't nobody else around. Right. I would rather, like me and God is the majority. And I believe that with all of my heart. Like you plus God is the majority. You don't need somebody else to complete you. And I just feel like sometimes we settle for a decoy instead of waiting on the real McCoy. Right. So to say, like, well, this is the person we've known each other since middle school. Well, this is over. You know what I'm saying? I'm moving on with my

Safe Exits Plus Community And Moving

Ken Claytor 26:49

life, you know.

Tabatha Claytor 26:49

I I agree. I I would say, first of all, you know, if you're in a relationship that is abusive, find a safe way out. You know, find a, you might have to exit quietly. You might have to find I, you know, when I was in an abusive relationship, I just kind of I moved in, I was living by myself and I ended my lease and moved in with a group of um three other girls. And so I was never alone. And I was, you know, I just had people around me all the time. So I found a safe place, a safe way to get out. And there are, you know, uh hotlines and 1-800 numbers and websites and all of all kinds of help that you can get if you're in an abusive relationship. There is a way out. Um, but you know, for the majority of people, you're just in an unhealthy relationship and you should get out.

SPEAKER_04 27:36

Yeah.

Tabatha Claytor 27:36

Um, and you do deserve better. Uh, I would say, again, community is everything. Confide in people. You know, you should have someone that you can confide into. I did not. And a lot of times when you're in those in unhealthy relationships, that's why you're there because that is your best person. That is your go-to. You don't feel like you can go to anyone else. I would say, number one, God is for you. And if God be for you, no one can be against you. I would say find a good church. Find a, you know, so for example, in when I say a good church, in our church, you come, we have serve teams. That means you can serve, you become a part of a group, and that group becomes your family, you know, or we have um small groups where it might be a women's small group that you want to be a part of, or a men's small group that you want to be a part of. We have freedom groups, so where you need freedom from soul ties and from maybe low self-esteem. You can be in a group like that, and it's a small group of people, well, they become your attractive.

Ken Claytor 28:35

I hear this. Don't be afraid to move.

unknown 28:37

Yeah.

Ken Claytor 28:37

I hear that, Prophet. Don't be afraid to move. And I think so many times people are stuck in one job around family, around familiar spirits because you're afraid to move. Come on. But many times, just like Abraham, um, God told Abraham to get thee away from thy father's house to a land that I'm gonna show you. Yes, sir. You say, Pastor, where am I going? Um, I don't know. You just got to get out of where you are right now. And I believe God's gonna direct you. And I believe that it can be a spiritual connection as well. You know, a lot of people they find a job and then they find a church. Right. I say find a church and then build a career and build a family and build children that that that puts your center around the house of God because that would be your protection and your community and all of that. I just felt like somebody needed to hear that.

Tabatha Claytor 29:18

Yeah, that's really good because sometimes you need a radical change.

Ken Claytor 29:20

A radical change.

Tabatha Claytor 29:21

When God is doing it.

Ken Claytor 29:23

Like, for example, you grew up in a small town called Uniontown, Pennsylvania. You would not be who you are today if you stayed there. Exactly. If you if you stayed there, it it would have robbed you of everything.

Tabatha Claytor 29:33

Yeah. I don't know where I would be. I don't know if I would be alive personally. I don't know if I would be alive because I don't know if I would have been freed of depression, anxiety. I don't know if I'd have been freed from alcoholism. I don't know if I would be alive today.

Ten Practical Steps To Break Ties

Ken Claytor 29:47

Yeah, yeah. And so um, I want to give you a few things of how to break ungodly soul ties. I want to get practical, then I want to pray. Um, here's some things I'll go through them, cut me off at any time, and just how to break ungodly, unhealthy soul ties. Um, you have to acknowledge the tie because you cannot break what you don't name. Uh, you have to repent. Number two, repent where needed, not in shame, but in truth. Yeah. Cover repentance, breaks spiritual access. Number three is forgive. Forgive them, forgive yourself. Yes. Okay. Number four is cut unhealthy access. That means block, delete, distance, because healing requires boundaries. Number five is renounce the tie. Out loud if possible. Renounce is a powerful word with deliverance and freedom. It means to break up. I renounce every unhealthy soul tie with blank. Fill in the blank in Jesus' mighty name. Number six, remove reminders. Sometimes you have a gift they gave you, photos, messages, you know, out of sight.

Tabatha Claytor 30:45

Come on.

Ken Claytor 30:45

Um, out of sight helps healing. Number seven, replace the void and fill it with God, community and purpose. Go on missions trips, give back to your community. Get out of the house, stop talking about what you lost and look forward to the future. Your best days are in front of you. Number eight, renew your mind. Break lies like I'll never love again. They were my only chance. That's a lie from the pit of hell. Break it down. Number nine is get accountability. Healing doesn't happen by isolation. You need community. And number 10 is invite God in to heal your soul because only God can heal what you are connected to.

Tabatha Claytor 31:19

Yeah.

Ken Claytor 31:20

And so, anything to add on to that or thoughts?

Tabatha Claytor 31:24

I think that's so good. I feel like, you know, there are people watching and there is a radical, bold step that they need to take.

SPEAKER_04 31:31

Yeah.

Tabatha Claytor 31:31

It might be finding a new job, it might be moving to a new city for some of them, like you just said. Um, but there is like a new boldness, a new confidence. And that's because it's the fruit of breaking that soul tie. Those soul ties, sometimes if you were thinking about just stepping inside of a box.

SPEAKER_04 31:48

Yeah.

Tabatha Claytor 31:48

And you're tied to the parameters of that box. You can't move freely. You don't feel free to be able to move. You can only see a certain distance. And so what a soul tie does is you break out of that box. All of a sudden, you feel free to move. You can see with clarity. You feel like you've can't come out of the fog. There's a joy that you didn't know, there's a boldness and a confidence. And so I'm just praying and believing that everyone listening, you will listen to the voice of God.

Ken Claytor 32:18

Yeah. You know, soul ties are so funny because there were people debate because the word soul tie is not in the Bible. But just because the Bible doesn't define it as a soul tie doesn't mean that we don't see it. And those of us who've been in ministry, like we've been in ministry now for 24 years, we've seen people who are emotionally attached to somebody who's not even in the picture any longer. And we want to break that. And so here's a final thought, and then we'll kind of pray a prayer of renouncing, and then I'll let you

Renouncing Prayer And Healing Declarations

Ken Claytor 32:43

pray. Um, my final thought is this: you don't break a soul tie to forget the past, you break them to be free for the future. So you breaking the soul tie isn't just to get over the past, it's actually freeing you up for your future. And so here's a prayer of renouncing that I would love for you to repeat this by faith, and I want you to repeat this from your heart out loud if you can. Say, Father God, in the name of Jesus, I come before you with humility and faith, and I repent for every relationship and connection that was outside of your will. By the authority of Jesus Christ, I renounce and break every ungodly soul tie. Say this with me, especially every sexual soul tie formed through sin, manipulation, trauma, or emotional dependence. And I declare that these ties no longer have power over my mind, my body, or my spirit, and I release every person connected to me, and I take back every part of myself that was given away wrongly, and I ask you, Holy Spirit, to heal what was broken, cleanse what was defiled, and restore my soul completely. And I declare that I belong to Jesus and Jesus alone, my body, my soul, and my spirit, and I receive your forgiveness, God, your freedom and your peace in the mighty name of Jesus. Amen. Amen. Uh, sweetheart, if you could just pray or whatever the Lord's given you.

Tabatha Claytor 34:24

Yes, I just we've come into agreement with all of the prayers that have just been prayed. We thank you, Lord, that there is power on the people who are confessing and praying right now in Jesus' name. I declare that there is a new, there is a one chapter of their lives has been closed with this prayer, but a new chapter has begun, Lord. I declare confidence and boldness upon every person in Jesus' name. I declare that they'll be able to see, Lord, a clear path for their future. I declare that there's a weight that has been removed in the name of Jesus, and they are walking forward with fruitfulness in Jesus' name. And so, Father, I pray that you would just stir up the gifts of the Spirit on the inside of them, that they will thirst and hunger for Jesus like never before. For some people who have prayed this prayer, that you felt like there was something that has been holding you back. You've been believing God to move in miracles, signs, and wonders, but there's something that's been holding you back. And this prayer, this renouncing, these unbreaking, these ungodly soul ties is that period at the end of the sentence. That was the thing that has been holding you back. And now you will thrive. You will see what you've been believing for in Jesus' name. And so, Father, we thank you and we give you the glory for everything you've you're doing in our lives in Jesus' name. Amen.

Ken Claytor 35:39

Amen. I saw a um, it wasn't just the shattering of chains. I mean, it wasn't the breaking of chains, it was like the shattering of chains into a bunch of little pieces. And I'm here to declare over you who the sun sets free. Yes. Now you are free indeed. Um, I even saw someone who's been dealing with like migraine headaches that God is healing you now that those soul ties are broken. It's almost like you're experiencing the delivering power of God right now. And so we call you healed and free. Um, I even saw people who've been dealing with sleeplessness, and it's almost like this anxiety. And I believe that God's releasing the shalom of God and a peace over your soul. And I keep getting the name Sheila. And I believe that God's going to heal you, restore you, and put people in your life that loves you how you deserve to be loved. And if you believe that word's for you, please let us know. Um, email us, let us know in the comment, in the comment section, how today's um episode bless you guys. And so we're out of time for today. Um, remember Romans chapter 12, it talks about renewing your mind. It says, Don't be conformed to the world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind so that you could prove what is the good and acceptable and perfect will of God. And the renewing of your mind is not an event, it's a process. Spend time in the Word, find a good church, binge watch some of our episodes. And I think the more you do that, the more God will build your character and confidence in who you are in Him, and you'll see things be on a whole nother level of victory and freedom for you.

Renewing Your Mind And Next Steps

Ken Claytor 37:10

If you're new to our podcast, make sure you hit the subscribe button or the alert icon. We release a new episode every Thursday at 3 p.m. Eastern Standard Time. Our desire is to create a space where we can just do life together. We're gonna share our ups and our downs, and we would love for you to be a part of it. Consider yourself a part of our spiritual family here. Um, we got a conference that's coming up. It's an encounter God kind of conference. It's called a live conference, and it's coming up the first week in November. Um, tickets are going fast. Um, people are always healed, delivered. Um, the gifts of the spirit are imparted. I would love for you to come out to conference with us this year. If you ever needed a reason to come to Florida, come to Orlando this November. You can get your tickets right now. And the website is in the show notes. All right. We love you guys very much, and we'll see you real soon. God bless you. Peace.