Kore Kast
Kore Kast is a Podcast dedicated to integrating health and wellness with an emphasis on Pilates and Functional Fitness. This weekly Podcast is hosted by Kris Harris, a Certified Pilates Instructor and Personal Trainer. Please subscribe and follow our journey...
Kore Kast
Peace Over Perfection – Managing Expectations and Holiday Stress
We dig into holiday perfectionism and replace it with peace, presence, and practical boundaries. Through simple tools and honest scripts, we show how to protect energy, money, and meaning without losing joy.
• naming how perfectionism hijacks worth and joy
• the three-list exercise to find the sweet spot
• redefining success as good enough with love
• breathwork, grounding, and micro breaks
• boundary scripts for family and social pressure
• simpler traditions that deepen connection
• honest money limits and sustainable gifting
• nightly self-compassion check-in
• a short toolkit to protect rest and presence
If you'd enjoy today's episode, I'd love for you to share it with your friends and family
And if you're feeling generous, consider donating at the link provided in the description
For more resources, tips, and updates, don't forget to visit our website at www.kore-fit.com and follow us on Instagram at kore fitness az
Join our community and let's continue this journey together
Welcome back to season five of the KoreKast. I'm Kris Harris, and we're diving deeper than ever into the core ideas that shape everything around us. This season, we're exploring the essential questions, the breakthrough discoveries, and the game-changing conversations that matter most. From science and technology to philosophy and culture, we get straight to the heart of what's driving our world forward. Season five is going to blow your mind. Welcome to today's episode. I'm Chris Harris, and today we're talking about something that touches so many of our lives this time of year: peace over perfection, managing expectations, and holiday stress. If you're feeling the weight of holiday perfectionism right now, if you're wondering how you'll possibly get everything done, or if you're already feeling overwhelmed by all the expectations swirling around this season, I want you to know that you're not alone. And more importantly, there's a gentler way forward. I remember last December, sitting in a Target parking lot, looking at my calendar and feeling overwhelmed. Seventeen events, 23 people on my gift list, multiple potluck commitments, and the pressure to create magical memories. I wondered when the holidays became this elaborate performance instead of the restful celebration I remembered. If that resonates with you, this conversation is for you. Let's start by acknowledging something important. The holidays weren't always this complicated. Somewhere along the way, what was meant to be a time of connection, gratitude, and celebration became a season of endless to-do lists, perfect Instagram moments, and pressure to create magical experiences for everyone around us. We've turned December into a marathon of perfection, and frankly, it's exhausting. Here's what I've learned about holiday perfectionism. It's not really about the holidays at all. It's about our deep human need to feel worthy, to feel loved, to feel like we're enough. We think that if we can just create the perfect meal, give the perfect gifts, decorate the perfect home, or orchestrate the perfect gathering, then we'll finally feel that sense of worthiness we're seeking. But perfectionism is a moving target. There's always something more that could be done, something that could be better. Holiday perfectionism shows up as staying up until 2 a.m. making homemade ornaments when store-bought ones would bring just as much joy. It's overspending on gifts out of fear that anything less means you don't care enough. It's redoing things multiple times trying to match Pinterest perfection. It's that voice saying, everyone else seems to have this figured out, while you scroll through social media, believing others' holidays are effortlessly magical. But those perfect photos don't show the stress, debt, exhaustion, and tears that happen behind the scenes. So let's talk about setting realistic expectations because this is where real peace begins. First, I want you to get honest about what you actually have capacity for this season. Not what you think you should have capacity for, not what you had capacity for last year, but what feels manageable right now in your current life with your current resources and energy levels. This isn't about being lazy or lowering your standards. This is about being kind to yourself and creating space for what truly matters. Here's a powerful exercise. Make three lists. The first list is everything you feel like you should do this holiday season. Write it all down, every expectation, every tradition, every obligation. Don't edit yourself, just let it all out. The second list is what you genuinely want to do. The things that bring you joy, the traditions that feel meaningful, the activities that align with your values, and the third list, that's what you realistically can do, given your time, energy, and resources. Now look at where these lists overlap. The magic happens in the intersection between what you want to do and what you can actually do. This is your sweet spot. This is where you'll find both joy and sustainability. Everything else? It's optional. And I know that might feel scary because we've been conditioned to believe that saying no to holiday expectations means we're disappointing people or being selfish. But here's the truth. Showing up authentically and sustainably is a much greater gift than showing up overwhelmed and resentful. Now that gap between what you want to do and what you realistically can do isn't a failure, it's information. Let's work through this practically. Say you want to bake 12 different cookies, but realistically only have time for three. Instead of abandoning the tradition or exhausting yourself, make three really good types, or supplement with some from a local bakery. The spirit of sharing treats remains intact. Or maybe you want to send personalized cards to 50 people, but you have zero hours for card making. Could you send a heartfelt group text? Call the five people who matter most, use printed cards with personal notes? The goal isn't to eliminate joy, it's to find sustainable ways to express it. Let's talk about some practical stress management techniques that can help you navigate this season with more ease. First, the power of the pause. When you feel that familiar surge of holiday anxiety, maybe you're looking at your calendar and feeling overwhelmed, or you're comparing your preparations to someone else's. Take three deep breaths. Breathe in for four counts, hold for four, exhale for six. This simple practice activates your parasympathetic nervous system, moving you out of fight or flight mode and into a calmer state where you can think more clearly. Another powerful tool is what I call good enough thinking. Perfectionism tells us that anything less than perfect is a failure. But what if we redefine success as good enough with love? Your cookies don't have to be Pinterest perfect if they're made with care. Your decorations don't have to rival a magazine spread if they create a warm atmosphere. Your gift doesn't have to be the most expensive if it's chosen thoughtfully. Good enough with love is actually quite extraordinary. Here are additional stress management tools for the holiday season. Try the 54321 grounding technique when anxiety rises. Name five things you can see, four you can touch, three you can hear, two you can smell, and one you can taste. This brings you back into your body and out of anxious thoughts. Next, embrace micro breaks. You don't need a full spa day, you need 30 seconds to step outside, two minutes to make tea mindfully, five minutes to sit quietly before gatherings. These tiny pockets of calm can be incredibly restorative. And remember, your environment affects your stress levels. Spend 15 minutes daily putting things back in place. It's about creating visual calm, not perfection. Now let's address the elephant in the room, family and social pressures. The holidays often intensify family dynamics and social expectations in ways that can feel overwhelming. Maybe there's pressure to host the perfect dinner, to buy expensive gifts you can't afford, to maintain traditions that no longer serve you, or to keep peace in complicated family situations. Remember that you have more agency than you might think. You can love your family and still set boundaries. You can honor traditions and still adapt them to fit your current life. Here are some gentle ways to navigate social pressures. First, practice the art of the loving no. I wish I could, but I won't be able to make it work this year is a complete sentence. You don't owe anyone a detailed explanation of your limitations. Second, suggest alternatives when possible. If you can't host the big family dinner, maybe you can contribute a dish or help with cleanup. If you can't afford expensive gifts, maybe you can offer your time or a handmade creation instead. And please, please remember to extend compassion to yourself during this process. Change is hard, especially when it involves shifting long-standing family or social patterns. People might not understand your new boundaries at first. They might express disappointment or try to guilt you into old patterns. This doesn't mean you're doing anything wrong. It means you're growing. And growth sometimes feels uncomfortable for everyone involved. Let me share a practical example. Maybe your mother-in-law expects you to recreate her late mother's famous stuffing recipe, but you've never made it and you're intimidated. Instead of weeks of stress, have an honest conversation. I'd love to honor that tradition, but I'm worried I won't do it justice. Could we make it together this year? When family expects multiple costly celebrations or elaborate outings beyond your budget, try. That sounds wonderful, but it's not feasible for me this year. Could we do something simpler? True friends and family will understand and work with your limitations. Releasing perfectionist expectations creates space for new traditions that actually fit your life. Instead of elaborate spreads, maybe your holiday morning is pancakes and pajamas. Instead of expensive gifts, maybe you share gratitude letters. Instead of perfect decorations, one string of lights feels magical. I want to challenge the idea that simpler means less meaningful. Some of my most treasured holiday memories are the simplest ones. Hot chocolate while looking at Christmas lights, board games by the fire, breakfast for dinner on Christmas Eve. These weren't backup plans. They were perfect exactly as they were. What would feel celebratory to you? What would help you connect with loved ones while staying present instead of stressed? Your answers might be simpler than expected. And that's not settling. That's wisdom. Let's address holiday financial pressure. Your financial limitations don't reflect your love or worth. If money is tight, you can still have a meaningful holiday. Thoughtful gifts cost little, playlists, handwritten letters sharing favorite memories, coupon books for shared experiences. Communicate honestly about financial boundaries. I'm working with a smaller budget this year, so let's set a spending limit for gifts. Many families are relieved when someone brings this up. And please don't go into debt for the holidays. January credit card stress will far outlast any momentary joy from expensive gifts. Self-compassion is perhaps your greatest tool for managing holiday stress. When perfectionism rears its head, when you find yourself comparing your reality to someone else's highlight reel, when you make a mistake or something doesn't go as planned, can you speak to yourself the way you would speak to a dear friend? Would you tell a friend that they're failing if their holiday cookies burned or their gift wrapping looks messy? Of course not. You'd remind them that their worth isn't measured by their performance. Here's a practice I want to leave you with. Each evening during the holiday season, before you go to bed, place your hand on your heart and ask yourself three questions. What went well today? What am I grateful for? And how can I show myself kindness tomorrow? This simple practice helps you end each day with appreciation rather than a mental list of everything you didn't accomplish. Here's your peaceover perfection holiday toolkit. First, block out time for rest this week. Schedule it like any important appointment. Even 30 minutes counts. Second, identify your three non-negotiables for this season, the things that would make it feel meaningful. Everything else is bonus. Third, practice saying, that sounds lovely, but I can't make it work this year. This phrase will be your best friend this season. Fourth, find your support system. Don't navigate this season alone. We're not meant to do hard things in isolation. Remember, the goal isn't to have a perfect holiday season. The goal is to have an authentic one. The goal is to be present for the moments that matter, to connect genuinely with the people you love, and to create space for joy and gratitude amidst all the chaos. Your holiday season doesn't have to look like anyone else's. It just has to feel true to you. As we close today, I want you to know that choosing peace over perfection isn't giving up or settling for less. It's choosing what's real over what's expected. It's choosing connection over consumption. It's choosing presence over performance. And in a world that's constantly telling us we need to do more, be more, achieve more, choosing enough is actually quite radical. So take a deep breath, trust yourself, honor your limits, celebrate your efforts, not just your outcomes. And remember that the most beautiful holiday moments are often the unplanned ones, the spontaneous laughter, the quiet conversations, the simple presence of being together. Those moments can't be manufactured through perfection, but they can be received through presence. Thank you for spending this time with me today. I hope you carry these reminders with you as you navigate the coming weeks. Be gentle with yourself, you're doing better than you think you are. Until next time, I'm Kris Harris, wishing you peace, presence, and permission to let good enough be extraordinary. Thank you for joining me on this episode of the KoreKast. I hope you're feeling inspired and empowered to take your health and wellness journey to the next level. Remember, every small step counts, and I'm here to support you every step of the way. If you'd enjoy today's episode, I'd love for you to share it with your friends and family. And if you're feeling generous, consider donating at the link provided in the description. Your support helps us to keep bringing you the core cast every week, packed with valuable insights and expert advice. For more resources, tips, and updates, don't forget to visit our website at www.kore-fit.com and follow us on Instagram at kore fitness az. Join our community and let's continue this journey together. Until next time, stay healthy, stay happy, and keep striving for your best self. This is Kris Harris signing off from the KoreKast, and I'll see you next week.
