Work Smarter Not Harder ft. Ana Melikian

Do you struggle with saying no?

For Ana, overcoming dyslexia at a young age, and conquering a Master's Degree in a foreign language was just the beginning.

She remembers thinking of herself as the energizer bunny, to keep going and going to outlast everyone else.

She said yes over and over again, until she couldn’t anymore.

Then she was diagnosed with Inflammatory Breast Cancer. It was a wake up call that made her get clear on her priorities and shift from 'pile-it-all-on' to being selective with her time.


Key Takeaways

• You can't erase the past, but we can learn from it. If you look at productivity differently you can achieve the same results, just in a smarter way - that's the key. Work hard, but more strategic.
• There are 3 pauses for growth: macro, scheduled, and micro. Pressing 'pause' gives space to choose response, grow, and find freedom.
• If you can’t take a deep breath, empty the cup first. Exhale fully until you engage belly muscles. Then, you can take full advantage of the power of a deep breath to re-center you. 

Key Moments

{05:25} “And I kept working during my cancer treatments. I kept working because that was  one of the parts in my life that I could keep some normality going, and I felt a human still. But I had to learn to work smarter and not harder. That was the wake up call. At that level, I could not push because I was pushing myself to go through the treatments enough and with the little energy that I had left.”

{07:07} “I say, ‘no, no. I cannot do that.’ That was something that I was not used to doing. I was used to taking advantage of any opportunity that showed up. And what I realized is that if I kept focus on the things that I chose, I could still make an impact.”

{09:31} “I felt ‘okay they have my back.’ I had their back for so long, they had my back now. That felt really good to have the support. They really stepped into the occasion and  that was a rewarding thing to see that people were there for me.”

{20:38} “I could enjoy life more and I could have more time and energy to enjoy my family, to travel, to exercise. And even now I manage to read one book per week because I develop habits that are in the service of a life that I want to live.”


More about Ana

Ana Melikian, Ph.D., is the host of the Mindset Zone podcast listed alongside "On Being" and "TED Radio Hour" by The Huffington Post's "15 Podcasts That Will Leave You Pondering Life's Big Questions." Ana combines extensive research, life experiences, and two decades of work in human potential to help others cultivate mental wellness while increasing their effectiveness and strengthening relationships. She has a captivating presentation style and a gift for making complex concepts easy to understand.


Get in touch with Ana

https://anamelikian.com/


Share your Story

Send it to us at podcast@jennylynnerickson.com


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Transcript

Jenny Lynne: [00:00:00] Welcome to Death of a Workaholic, where other people's stories are a piece of your map. I'm your host Jenny Lynn, and I'm ready to take you on an adventure.

Anna Melikian, I am so happy to have you on the death of a Workaholic podcast. 

Ana Melikian: My pleasure to be here. 

Jenny Lynne: I loved getting to know you and your story, over the last several months, but you shared something intriguing with me recently, and that was your relationship with work started very young at nine or 10 years old, but your dad would've disagreed with that.

Tell me more about that opening. 

Ana Melikian: I always kid that my dad will disagree because as a kid I always love to sleep into the morning. And that for my dad, he never understood that for me and my brother, I would like to sleep until 10 and 11 o'clock in the morning. And he always call us lazy because of that.

But that doesn't mean that you cannot be a workaholic that likes to sleep late. .

Jenny Lynne: Very, very true. And funny little nugget. It's totally normal for teens to have a later. Yes. Circadian rhythm. So, there you go. So you worked really hard at nine or 10. And what, what did work look like for you then? 

Ana Melikian: Yeah, the thing was, I had dyslexia.

 At the start when I was in lower school, the spelling was an issue. I was very lucky at the time that my teacher saw that I was capable in other things, in math, in other stuff, and that was a very specific issue with the spelling. So she didn't hold me back, and at the time, I, I didn't knew what I know today about dyslexia in itself.

That is really a different way that our brain is wired. At the time what made me do was working harder to achieve the same things that my other colleagues, my other classmates and, that was tough at the time, but develop a work ethic that I became very proud of.

Jenny Lynne: So there was a [00:02:00] reason, a force behind you that meant you had to work harder, but it also was a badge of honor. 

Ana Melikian: Yes, absolutely. 

Jenny Lynne: So your relationship evolved with work throughout the years, and as a child it showed up like that. How did it show up when you moved into your career? 

Ana Melikian: It start because my first career was as a student and I became quite good on it.

And then uh, even in terms of earning money was still as a student because I got scholarship. So I got a scholarship to get my PhD and my master degree. I'm originally from Portugal, and then I went to do part of my studies in England and in Spain, and I had to write in another language that was not my mother tongue.

So more hard work. But like I said, , I always thought that if it was something that depended off my persistent and my artwork, I could do it. Mm-hmm. . 

Jenny Lynne: just work harder. Pull yourself up. Yes. Keep going. One foot in front [00:03:00] of the other. 

Ana Melikian: Right.  I, I like to, sometimes when I speak of this nowadays, it's like I use the image of the Energizer bunny, the ones of the battery commercial, the pink bunny with the little drum that keeps going and going and going and going, outlasting everybody else.

That was me and I was so proud of it. Yes, yes. 

Jenny Lynne: And that changed at some point. And it sounds like you had a situation you encountered in life. 

Ana Melikian: Yes, because now when I look back, I remember that in my life I always had people that had the different relationship work that I had. And sometimes I was looking them how you could work more, you could do more.

And now I look back, I should have learned more from them. But life is a journey. And for me, the wake up call. The big wake up call was in cause I think there were warning signs and red flags, but the one that made me change my way was in 2016 [00:04:00] when I was diagnosed with inflammatory breast cancer.

Jenny Lynne: how difficult was that journey? 

Ana Melikian: Yeah, because when this is a rare form of cancer. It's only one to 5% of all breast cancers, and it's quite aggressive. And the strange thing with cancer is that we can be healthy in any other way, and then suddenly we have cancer.

Mm-hmm. I still remember one of the doctors that I had in my team that I was speaking, can I do this? Can I do that? And it turned to me, you are very healthy. You can keep active. And I was thinking to myself, how can you say that I'm very healthy and I just, you just diagnosed me with cancer.

But it's the, the contradiction that cancer is in so many aspects, but part of the thing is that. When you realize the seriousness of the situation and the becomes your priority, there is no doubt that becomes your priority And the number of [00:05:00] medical appointments that we have to go through the exams that we have to do to decide what is the best treatment, and made me rethink everything what you say when you is a situation that you don't know exactly what things are going to lead and that is why I call it a wake up call, make you rethink everything with your work and with your life and with your goals.

And I kept working during , my cancer treatments I kept working because that was one of the parts in my life. That I could keep some normality going, and I felt a human still, but I had to learn to work smarter and not harder. That was the wake up call. At that level, I could not push because I was pushing myself to go through the treatments enough and with the little energy that I had left.

How could I use it , in a way that produced the [00:06:00] results that I was wanting to keep going. 

Jenny Lynne: Yeah. So I, I'd like to like dig into one of these moments. One of these moments where you're looking at your work and you're looking at your treatments, and there's this moment where you're like, what am I gonna do?

Ana Melikian: I had to do choices and prioritize. Until then I was not very good in prioritizing. Mm-hmm. . And I was just putting more in my pile. Just adding to, okay, I can do this later, I can work more hours, I can sleep less. And just kept going and going and going like the Energizer bunny.

But with cancer, the adoption was not there because the energy is not there. , and Like I was saying in the beginning, the quantity of in the beginning of exams and things that you have to do, you really have to clear your calendar. And that was the first I have to decide what I could keep going, what I had to let go.

And I some [00:07:00] projects that I was involved, I had to say, no, I cannot be more involved. And some opportunities that I had at the time. I say, no, no, I don't. I cannot do that. That was something that I was not used to do. I was used to take advantage of any opportunity that show up. And but what I realize is that if I kept focus on the things that I chose, I could still make an impact.

Mm. 

Jenny Lynne: So I wanna dig into No, because , we don't really like the word no. as the sign. What did you do to be able to understand what you say no to? And how did you make peace with saying no? 

Ana Melikian: At the time was how you say I said no to the things that I felt that I could not give my all when I get in a project, I like to go full in mm-hmm.

So there was a new opportunity that happened at the time of an association that I belong. To lead the association for the [00:08:00] next year that I felt that I will not have the energy to do that. So I spoke with them and they absolutely understood. So that was a easy decision to make.

Another group that I was part of the teaching coaching team. I knew that was difficult to keep the calls that I was supposed to be doing, and I spoke with the person having that, and you was super, super say, you really was amazing in supporting me. And he said, don't worry about that. We'll cover you.

And I kept part of working with them just in the minimum. Because they were so supportive and they really took a lot out of my plate. And, and then I focus on one of the projects business that I had, that I could be more behind the scene not to be so front on camera. And I still could contribute in a way that was valid, [00:09:00] but more at my own timing.

Jenny Lynne: So you're talking about a lot of human compassion here. 

Ana Melikian: Oh yes. 

Jenny Lynne: That people leaned in and found ways to move forward with you. How did that feel? 

Ana Melikian: Felt good. Felt good. How you say I had built before that moment. I had built a lot, I had deposited a lot in being a great teammate and a great supporter of the organizations that I was involved and working to, the partnerships that I have, so, In the beginning I felt okay they have my back. I had their back for so long, they had my back. Now. That felt really good to have the support. They really step into the occasion and that was a rewarding thing to see that people were there for me. that's 

Jenny Lynne: awesome cuz sometimes speaking, you know, personally, that can be hard to recognize that all that deposits you've made over those years of working hard, actually you can ask for something in return for that.

Ana Melikian: Yeah, and I'm not very good [00:10:00] how say I prefer to be in the giving end and in the receiving end. I suffer from that too. But they, they made it For me to be in the receiving end. And I really appreciate that, how they dealt with it. 

Jenny Lynne: That's amazing. And is there anything that was hard to say no to?

Ana Melikian: Hmm. At the time? , the thing about diagnostic or situation when this situation like cancer or other situations that people go through their time. Of the same type and sometimes can be even divorce or something with our kids. Suddenly priorities become very clear. So in that sense what we say yes to a no to is easier.

Because we have clarity about priorities. And for me, the priority was to do whatever was in my power to get better, to go through the treatments and keep living my life as normal as possible in the meanwhile. 

Jenny Lynne: [00:11:00] Well, I'm so glad you're with us here today.

Ana Melikian: Yes, me too. 

Jenny Lynne: You thrived in the face of all that. So how did that clarity around priorities follow you through after you got to the other side of this. 

Ana Melikian: Yeah. And we have to remember, as human beings, it's very easy to go back to old patterns. Mm-hmm. and yes. When you are doing the treatments, you have limited in time. You have to schedule the things and I learn how to schedule the treatments. So I, start to learn how to plan my schedule around the treatments and it work. I managed to navigate that time.

 When I, recover my energy and go back to what was before the treatments I start to see myself slipping into old habits.. For one side, yes, I was wanting to just almost delete that time in my life and go back to what was before, but it was also, what can you learn from this experience? To [00:12:00] build a better future. And I already were familiar with productivity, with eye performance, but I start to look at it and doing it with a different angle and what I realized that was possible to achieve the same results in a more clever way.

So it's not that we don't work hard and I work hard nowadays still, but I try to be much more strategical 

Jenny Lynne: and , what are examples of some of those clever ways 

Ana Melikian: It's very easy for somebody that likes to work that we do or somebody that takes loads of self-esteem and value from working and being busy.

To get busy with the wrong things or just busy by the sake of being busy and not producing or not investing the time or keep putting for later the projects that are going really to change the things in the long term. 

 [00:13:00] I think this was Steve Covey the Seven Habits that in his book popularized the concept. He didn't invent it, I think, but he popularized the four quadrants. Eisen Eisenhower, exactly. Mm-hmm. That you have the, the first quadrant that are important in urgent, the second quadrant that is important but not urgent.

And then, I forgot the order of the ones below. The one is not in, they are not urgent and not important and not urgent but not important. Mm-hmm. I absolutely spend a lot of time in these lower quadrants doing just busy, what we can call busy work and work that I absolutely could delete or delegate.

And realizing that when I had to be smarter in the use of my time really helped me to let go of that much [00:14:00] easier. And it still, I still can fall into it, but it's much easier when I'm aware of it to let it go and do something about, and I spend now much more time in the top quadrants of what is important.

Jenny Lynne: That's amazing. And so kind of going back to that moment where what you needed to say no to came into clear focus. How did what you needed to say yes to come into Clear Focus. 

Ana Melikian: And again, I think it's not the moment, it's a process. Hmm. But he still, how you say, I really. Integrate systems and planning, having nowadays I like to speak about the importance of pause.

 There is a quote that I absolutely love that is between stimulus and response. There is a space in that space. Is the power of choosing our response in our response lies our growth and our freedom. Mm. [00:15:00] So between the stimulus and response there is that space. But for, in order for us to see that space, we have to learn how to press the pause button.

Because it's the by pressing the pause button that we see, the space that allow us to choose our response and allow us to grow and to have some freedom. 

So one of the big shifts that happened for me at many levels was to learn to press the pause button. And nowadays I really see that we have three types of pauses. The macro pauses is like the cancer was a macro pause that make me reevaluate everything, but can be a macro pause, can be reading a book, going to a retreat, working with a coach.

We stop as a considerable amount of time to reflect about. Where we are and what we want to learn. Then we have the schedule pauses. That is like planning the day. Mm-hmm. starting every day, planning the day, or even in the day before, or a journaling or a gratitude thing. [00:16:00] And I start to develop those schedule pauses, train myself to respect those schedule pauses.

 And now I see that by doing macro pauses and schedule pauses, we get mentally fit. To press, the Pause button. When we have the micro poses, the mini, mini ones, that is when we have the trigger that we have the tendency to go to a certain response. Now I'm able to press the Pause button most of the time and decide, no, I'm not going to old habits anymore.

I want to do something different. 

Jenny Lynne: I love this Ana. And I love it because I was actually laughing with someone today about what our parents told us when we were younger that we didn't wanna hear. Yes. And one of the things my mom always told me is, take a deep breath, Jenny. And ironically, I have found out this year it is the single best way to integrate the micro pause.

Ana Melikian: Yes, and I will teach you a [00:17:00] trick there. Ooh, I'm excited because the advice that there is a lot of, take a deep breath, that what will only happens when you say take a deep breath, people is like in nail deep. if we are under stress, if we are under pressure, we are breathing at the top of our lengths.

We have a lot of residual air in our lungs. Just imagine, a cap full of water and it's almost full. So if you say to somebody, breathe deeply, we physically can't. There is no space. What is more efficient and smarter to do is empty the cup first. Empty our lungs first by exhaling fully until we engage the muscles in our belly, and then we can breathe deeply easier.

It's a small shift that can be very powerful results. I

Jenny Lynne: love that [00:18:00] and for everyone listening, I hope you stopped and paused and empty your lungs. , 

Ana Melikian: yes, this, this, like imagine that you are a little kid like bull blowing out all the candles in the birthday cake. Even the ones that are the tricky variety ones that reignite.

You just want to blow all that air out and then automatically is easier to breathe in. 

Jenny Lynne: That's amazing. And when we do that, we feel that deep sense of grounding, that grounding that stops that response. 

Ana Melikian: Yeah. We are going from the sympathetic nervous system to the para sympathetic mode. That is more relaxing.

So it's a very, breath work is powerful. If we learn we can check if we are nervous with our breath, it is just by counting. If we are, breathing, rhythm, two to into, out, we are in a stress mode. Mm-hmm. , we have to go to at least [00:19:00] four in far out to be in a more relaxed flow state.

Jenny Lynne: I'm just enjoying this. It just feels good, Anna. Sometimes it's good to just feel good . 

Ana Melikian: Yes, absolutely. But it's small things, I think, and one of the things that I love about your work is that you are bringing awareness to this of work call that our tendency about working and working and working how we can and, leverage it in so many ways.

Jenny Lynne: Yes. Yeah. And so if we kind of go back, I'd love to know. How did you stop believing that working really, really hard was the only way to deserve success?

Ana Melikian: Was realizing that I was achieving things and like I always say, I was successful in for many ways of measuring success pitching, psychology running a nice online business, a wonderful house with [00:20:00] amazing views. Nice husband, wonderful daughter. But I was working late into the evening.

Sleeping less than five hours at night, trying to do it all, not stopping for a moment. And I realized that if I learn to tap into the human potential in the high performance, working smarter, not harder working in a way that was more strategical, I still could achieve my goals, but, Not being in that waking up tired every day.

Mm-hmm. and I could enjoy life more and I could have more time and energy to enjoy my family, to travel, to exercise. And even now I manage to read one book per week because I develop habits that are in the service of. A life that I want to live. 

Jenny Lynne: That's amazing. So if we [00:21:00] stop right now, and you were to say, what is your definition of success right now?

What would your answer be? 

Ana Melikian: Live the life fully. And for me it's by learning, creating a positive impact and enjoying the journey. Hmm. 

Jenny Lynne: Thank you so very much, Anna. Anna does amazing work. She's the host of the Mindset Zone podcast. She is a, speaker and she combines extensive research life experiences and two decades of work in human potential to help others cultivate mental wellness while increasing their effectiveness and strengthening their relationships.

I am so honored to have you here, 

Ana Melikian:  My pleasure.

Jenny Lynne:Thank you for joining us on Death of a Workaholic, where other people's stories are a piece of your map beyond workaholism. I'm your host, Jenny Lynn, and if this was a valuable addition to your map, then [00:22:00] please like, subscribe or follow. Or sign up for my newsletter to get updates when new episodes are dropped.

You can reach out to me at podcast jennylynnerickson.com, or you can go to my website, deathofaworkaholic.com. If you have a map that you think would be valuable for other people, then please reach out and see if we can book you on the show. That is podcast@jennylynnerickson.com or deathofatworkaholic.com, and I can't wait to see you on the next drop.